Episode 49: Out of the Loop

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How's it coming? Report. Well, good morning to you too, Cap. Good morning, everyone. Welcome to day 1093. We can all look forward to more repairs on the Urania. Officer Eiffel and the ungrateful Lout are on rewiring duty. Lieutenant Minkowski is finishing engine recalibration. Captain Loveless is doing spot checks on the interior hull. Yeah, are you sure you don't want some more ragtime, Cap? It's fine. Oh, shut up, Eiffel. Here, coffee. Oh, Cap, my Cap. Thank you.

Hey, better out than in. God damn it. Well, were you okay, Jacoby? Fine. Everything is fine. Hey, Eiffel. Can you ping the telemetry receiver for a sec? Hold on. Okay, pinged. How's it looking, Minkowski? I don't want to jinx it, but... good. Really good. You still okay to help me with the compressor coil later on? Yeah. You got it. Sounds like everybody's day is going to be a blast. Ow! Aren't I here for my expert opinions? Keep them up and we'll dump you back in the break with Kepler.

Are you going to be okay with him? Yeah, Cap. Billy Boy isn't going to go slaughterhouse 359 without Colonel Cathcart's say-so. I'm going to pretend I understood that. More importantly, are you going to be okay with Minkowski? What? Why wouldn't I? It's... It's fine. Just to... We're just both the little 12 angry men down, I think. But I promise, the kids are alright, Cap. Uh, you're full? Is there a reason you keep calling me Cap? Uh, I do? You do. Oh, uh, my bad, Cap-10, Captain Loveless.

Must be more tired than I thought. Pace yourself. We're almost there. Hey, am I going to be the only one actually doing work on this? Hold your hydraulic horsepower. I'm coming. Have fun. Well, that went well. Shut up. Ah, I'm sure she didn't notice any of that super palpable tension. Mind your own business or I- gonna have to tell her eventually might be good to get it over with before you're inserting cap into every other syllable all right fistful of dynamite first

I don't need to take any advice from you. Because second, the only eventually that matters is the one where we fix the ship, get ourselves earthbound, and go back to our regularly scheduled programming. Got it? Whatever you say. Can you hand me the secondary coil? Yeah, here. Sounded like progress. Hmm. You have the dampeners? Yes, sir. Minkowski. Yeah?

Why haven't you taken command back? What? You miss taking orders? I kind of miss disobeying them. Seriously, I know it's only been a couple of days, but in Hephaestus Crisis dog years, that's like... two Labradors. What's going on? I'm trying to get the ship fixed. Ship's gonna need a captain. Well, out of the two of us, which one is actually a captain? Sorry. Sorry, I... Can we talk about this when I'm not up to my elbows in engine parts? Sure. Last piece? Last piece.

Vera? Already running into diagnostics. Here's hoping. Scan again. I've already scanned three times. Looking at about 96% chance of reaching Earth. Well, then all we have left to do is to integrate your servers, Hira. Which, let's not forget to do that. Starting tomorrow. I can clean up. You head back to the Hephaestus, Captain. Sure. See you tomorrow, Commander. Yeah. Tomorrow.

How's our position looking, Kira? Fine. We're still well away from the red line, and if we get what we need done tomorrow, I'm not sure there's much of a point trying any course correction. I keep thinking about what we need to get ready for next week, but... This may be our last... No, like you said, we're almost out of here. No point stirring up anything now. I know, but it's important, so... No, Hera. It's okay. Really.

Hey, Eiffel. How's... it... going? Good morning to you, too, Cap. What are you do- We can all look forward to more repairs on the Urania. Hooray. Officer Eiffel and the Ungrateful Lout are on rewiring duty. Lieutenant Minkowski is finishing any recalibration. Captain Loveless is doing spot checks on the interior hull. Though technically not until noon. Yeah, you sure you don't want more ragtime, Cap?

You've been pulling quadruple shifts lately. Cap, I think that was your cue for something reassuring and or snappy. Okay. I think we've hit a wall here. Let's go slow. Coffee? Thank you. That's the stuff. Don't you start. Better out than in. Wait. What is... Did you... Hira, can you repeat the date? It's day 1093. Wasn't day 1093 yesterday? Uh, no. Yesterday. It was data 92. See, that's kind of how human calendars work, but... Hey, drop it. You alright, Cap? I'm fine. It's just...

Never mind. Let's get the service done. Um, actually, before that, we need to install the coil compressor for the engine. No, we installed the compressor. You mean... This compressor. No, that's... Oh, goddammit. You okay, Jacoby? Fine. Everything is fine. What in the name of god is... Ping the telemetry receiver for a sec. Uh, hold on. Okay, pinged. Uh, Minkowski? Yes? How's, uh, what's the engine status?

I don't want to jinx it, but good. Really good. Still okay to help me with the coil compressor today, Captain? Uh, yeah, I guess I... You sure you're okay, Cap? It's fine, Eiffel. I must be more tired than I thought. Just let me know if you'll be able to help with the reassembly, Captain. Yeah, I said I would. See you later. Someone gonna come help me out with this panel or what? Yeah, yeah. Hold your hydraulic horsepower. You okay, Cap? Yeah. Just a headache. I guess. Pace yourself, Cap.

We're almost there. Yeah. Eiffel, is there a reason you're... Never mind. See you later.

so how's it really good morning to you too No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Stop it. What the hell is going on here? That thing. What? The coil compressor? Yes, the coil compressor. Why is it out of the engine? In like the philosophical sense? No, in the sense of I know for a fact that thing should be inside the engine. That sense.

Yeah, that's why you and Minkowski are going to put it there later today? No, that's not what I... No, wait, don't touch the... Oh, goddammit. You okay, Jacoby? Fine. Everything is fine. Minkowski, get up here. Now. Uh, roger that. I'm on my way. Uh, Cap? What are you doing? What do you mean, what? There is something going on here. It's the exact same goddamn day as yesterday. Uh, that's not possible. Yeah, no kidding. Eiffel!

Not completely sure what you're looking for here, Cap. A little support? I'm not sure what's... To put it in your brand of remedial terms, the universe is turning me into Phil frickin' Connors. Who? Phil. From Groundhog Day? Right, of course, Groundhog Day. That great, great film with the ground and the hawks. You haven't seen Groundhog Day. Everyone's got a blind spot, okay? I'm not proud of it. Okay, forget the movie. You guys seriously don't know what I'm talking about? No. What's going on?

Ooh, ooh, can I tell her? Minkowski, have you ever noticed any temporal weirdness? Like... Like days repeating themselves? Yeah, that's happened before. I'm sorry, what now? Every now and then, I'd think that a day just started over. How come you never told me about this? I did tell you. Repeatedly. At first, I thought it was just me. But you think it's happening? Right now? Thank you yes, I think so what made you notice it I mean

everything, the fact that the coil compressor you and I installed is magically out of the engine again, then Jacoby always shocks himself on a wire. Hira makes a PA announcement. Well, to be fair, I do a lot of those. No, but a specific one. Word for word. And Eiffel keeps burping. Uh, I also do that a lot. It's the whole day, okay? It just keeps starting over. And only you notice it? Oh. I see. Well, that's just fantastic. This must be care of our intergalactic frenemies.

And since I'm, well, me, I'm the only one that's picking up on their daily mulligans. It's the only explanation. Uh, I think you're forgetting the other one. Which other one? The one where you're just cuckoo for Cocoa Puff? I will gag you. Oh, come on. Like, you're not all thinking it. Someone had to say it. You... do... me, right? Yeah, I do. I've seen it happen before. Yeah, we're...

Uh, we're not in the business of being skeptical. Especially after hearing how our friend Captain Zhang was getting gaslit by her star. Yeah, and she was fully human. At least she... Thought she was. We... We got your back, okay? Great. Thank you. So what are you thinking? How do we stop this? Well, I... I'm open to ideas. Don't listen to Jacoby. I'm sure we'll figure it out. I mean, it can't go on forever, right?

Eiffel, what are you... Oh, no. Good morning to you, too, Cap. Jeez. Morning, everyone. Welcome to day 1093. Time is... looping. We are... Better out than in, right? God damn it. Hey, Eiffel, can you ping the telemetry receiver for a sec? Everybody, we need to... Let's back it up. Coffee? Again. You okay, Cap? Fine. Just this damn headache. Better out than in, right? Goddammit. Something wrong, Cap? Alright, everybody, stop.

What do you mean, looping? It's happened before. Is this an alien thing? No, well, yes, but not, oh, oh. What, okay, one more time from the top. Morning, Cap. I... Why? Morning, everyone. Welcome to day 1093. Excuse me. Better out than in, though, right? God damn it. Are you sure you're... I'm fine. It's just a headache. Can we please focus on the time loop?

Is it a good morning? Better out than in, huh, Cap? Goddammit. This has happened before. This kind of sounds like an alien. Of course it's an alien thing, you dingbat! Would you quit? Let me get you some aspirin. No, focus! Time loop! Better out than in, right, Cap? Whoa, excuse me. Better out than in, though, huh, Cap? Pardon me. Still better out than in, wouldn't you say, Cap?

I didn't know it hadn't in me, but better out than in, huh, Cap? Pardon me. Still, better out than in, wouldn't you say, Cap? Didn't know I had that in me. But hey, better out than in, right? See.

Every day, we forget that we've already done this, and we just keep fixing the engine, which then gets unfixed every night. And then no matter what we do, we just forget about it and do it all over again. Right? Beautifully put. Yeah, I'm not sure I'm getting this. It kind of sounds like something out of a bad sci-fi show. Okay. From the top. Time. Time? Time. Time travel. Time loops. Possible? Theoretically.

What's the theory? Well, it's borderline impossible to verify from a non-subjective perspective. But under the right experimental conditions, evidence of some time... Anomalies has been observed. Why are you asking? Because I'm asking. Wolf 359. That count as... The right experimental conditions. Lately? Sure. And what would a time loop look like? How long would it last? That's a bit outside my area of expertise. You know...

This is one of those times when it'd be real handy to have one of Goddard's top scientific minds on hand to- Stick. To. The subject. Explain. To the best of your abilities. I'd say it'll go on. And on. Until something breaks it. Breaks it? Yeah. All our research points to time having a somewhat... elastic quality. Events have a way of rearranging themselves into familiar patterns and outcomes. If the players are the same, the stage is the same, the script's the same, well...

The play's gonna look real familiar. So what? Events resist change? That seemed like such a stretch. It's what makes time loops even remotely possible, but... Well... Think of it this way. Rubber band can stretch, but sooner or later, something's going to make it snap. Nothing stays the same forever. So how do you get things to snap? You lean back. Give it time. No pun intended. Entropy always wins out in the end. And if we, theoretically, wanted to give entropy a bit of a kick in the ass?

In the highly unlikely event you experience one of these anomalies, there might be one or two ways for you to give things a bit of a hmm. Push in the right direction.

Hey, Cap. Good morning, everyone. Welcome to day- Shut up, Hera. Minkowski, flight deck. Now. Uh... Cap? What's up? Honestly, I've explained too many times. Step away from the consoles. Why am I stepping? Because we're in a time loop and... Wait, time loop? Yes, I am saying. And yes, we are. What's going on? Time. Time anomalies. We're looping. Reliving the same day. Okay. Wow. I thought I'd seen those before, but- You're really taking her side- Oh, give me strength.

Yes, Jacoby, she is taking my side. Yes, Eiffel, she has told you about this before. And yes, Minkowski, I'm the one that's noticing because alien and alien and I'm an alien and alien. Moving on. Okay, is anyone else really freaked out by how she's doing that mind reading? Wait, no, stop it! Stop it! How are you doing this? And the number you were thinking of was four and a half. Trust me. I've been here before. How many times? A lot.

Captain? The other times, has your nose started bleeding? Oh. Well, that's new. Alright. This is happening. What do we need to do? That's a really good question. Whatever this is doing to me, you all keep doing the same things. Same things? Like... Like what? Like that, Eiffel. That stupid- Oh, goddammit. Are you alright? Fine. I think going through the same day so many times is messing with my head. Yeah, or maybe you're just cuckoo for- I will gag you.

Oh, just let him say it. Excuse me? I don't think I heard you- Okay, look, you guys have all been really great, okay? You've been super sweet and super supportive and super kumbaya. Even though I can tell you all think I'm crazy. And you know what that's done for the cause? Jack. So what are you saying? We've tried easing into this. Let's go for the sledgehammer approach this round.

Look, I know you. I know most of you. I can tell when there's something on your mind you're not saying and right now you all stink of it. So, you know what?

I think we need to get whatever we're all not talking about out in the open in order to literally move forward. Who would like to begin? Well, if it's for the good of the ship and the well-being of her crew, then I suppose I'll make the sacrifice. I... Have never seen Groundhog Day. Yes, yes, I know. I know it involves a day repeating itself, and perhaps my personal failure to complete the Bill Murray film canon is why we're in this.

What the hell? You ready to take this seriously? Captain, we needed that computer. Don't worry. It'll come back. And Minkowski, I'm sorry. What? Why? Because I'm about to call you a coward. Why are you being such a coward? Hey! I get... What happened was horrible. But the only way you're going to face it is as the commander. I know that, and you know that. Even Eiffel knows that. Please don't bring me into the- I-

I am not hiding from anything. Bullcrap. I want to know, why does the great Renee Minkowski want to slink away from Wolf 359 with her tail between her legs? Oh, you're going to... Tell me. That's an order. Look, there's a difference between being in command and being in control. You've never handled not being in control. Good, good. Keep it coming. You know what? You wanna hear this?

Sure. As soon as things went south, you couldn't face failure as a soldier, so you got out of it by playing the martyr. I'm sorry, was I the one who shot me in the head? You baited Kepler. To give you time. To save Eiffel. And have I mentioned how badass that was because- Shut up! You didn't trust me. You weren't willing to believe that I or Hera or Hilbert could pull things together. So you leapt like you always leap and hope the dice would land your way.

Why don't I retake command? Because I've never been in command. That's a lie and I am done with lies.

Next. What? You don't think you're respected enough to lead. You're wrong, by the way, but now we know. Who's up next? Eiffel? Jacobi? I mean, we don't like each other. Ooh. Yeah, I don't particularly like that you blow things up for the by and large corporation. And I'm pretty sure you want to kill all of us. Yeah, yeah, slowly and painfully. But other than that, we're cool.

Not good enough. Dig deeper. What do you want me to say? I don't know. Like... Jacoby, you're telling me that after everything Kepler hid from you... Okay. Let me be clear. I do not give any portion of a damn about what happens to any of you. I am only working with you because you have made it clear my options are to go along or get thrown out an airlock.

Let the grown-ups do the talking, okay, brave little toaster? How about it? Yeah, let's hear it. What do you know about being human? I know plenty. I don't think so. See, I had this friend who wouldn't shut up about her talking toys. She did everything for them. including one time rewiring an entire freaking space station. That makes a person feel gratitude. You may be unfamiliar with the concept, but among its many features is the way it keeps people.

from letting their friends get killed. I tried to stop it. I tried to stop it even after she lied to me, tricked me. She was black ops. What did you expect from her? No, you don't understand. I tried to escape from the testing facility, but they caught me and they put this thought into my head. So I didn't remember them putting it there. So that I thought it was my voice and that it was telling me the truth. But it wasn't.

She showed me that I was stronger than that voice. And then, less than two months later, she reached into my brain and started moving me around. So I do what she wanted. So I want what she wanted.

That's how she was, Jacoby. That's how your friend treated people. Realizations about horrific manipulation. Excellent. Eiffel. Hey, look at the time. Someone should clean up the... I'll grab the... Oh no you don't. Spit it out. Eiffel, just say it. It's okay. Oh no. No, it's not. It's not okay, Cap. But you keep calling me Cap like the next time you'll get three wishes. Fine! I'm freaked, okay?

I saw you die. I saw... You were gone, okay? And now you're not. I keep trying to see you as the badass, funny, beyond cool person you are. Because you are that person. But then... It just pops into my head. Everything Kepler said, and I hate it. I hate myself for feeling it, but sometimes I'm afraid of you. Well... Me too, Eiffel. Me too. Can't wait to do this again tomorrow. Shut up, Jacoby!

So, how's it going? Good morning to you too, Captain. Wait, Minkowski? Where's Jacoby? Not here. Arsenic and Old Lace are both safely locked up for the day. But what day is it? Day 1094. Oh, thank God. How's your head? Headache-free. Finally. You all remember then? Oh, yeah. Hard to forget how afraid of Virginia Woolf that all got. But it worked. All the things we said, ugly as they were.

They must have gotten us out of the loop. Well, maybe we also changed the main flight computer by, you know, shooting it. Does that mean we're... Stuck here? Looks that way. Which makes sense. Why else would they go through the trouble of getting our record to skip? What do you mean? We can't fly away now. So we have to fix the station. And work out their little riddle in the dark. I...

I'm sorry. I... Maybe Kepler's right. Maybe I'm not in control of what I'm doing. You know, we were just getting to the opposite conclusion. You were? If you were just a puppet... There'd be easier ways to get you to sabotage the Urania. Like a million of them. And how is that a good thing? Because it's like Radiohead says. You do it to yourself. And that's what really hurts.

They clearly don't want us going anywhere, and they want it to be a choice. Your choice. Whatever else is going on in the minds of our alien overlords, I don't think they see you as just a puppet. And that's something. Yeah. That's something. This has been Wolf 359 by Kinda Evil Genius Productions. Tonight's episode was written by Sarah Shackett and directed by Gabrielle Urbina. The role of Eiffel was played by Zach Valenti.

The role of Minkowski was played by Emma Sherjarko. The role of Hira was played by Michaela Swee. The role of Loveless was played by Cecilia Lynn Jacobs. The role of Kepler was played by Zach Labresco. and the role of Jacoby was played by Noah Mazur. Original music by Alan Rohde, and audio recording by Jared Paul. Want to give entropy a push in the right direction?

Do so by supporting us on Patreon at patreon.com slash wolf359radio. Thank you to Rina Saramay, The Gravo Situation, and all our patrons for being super sweet and supportive. and kumbaya. Visit us at wolf359.fm to get full episodes and extras, or follow us on Tumblr and Twitter at wolf359radio for news and more. The Fable and Falling Network, where fiction producers flourish.

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