Whose Lives Matter?

try and do things to lift up my energy. And today I decided not to. I decided just to sit in it. And what I realize in the sitting is that sometimes the pushing through is just too much. It's too heavy to push, it's too heavy to lift. And so I decide to sit and meditate and you know, light and incense and candle and just be with my feelings and be inside of my body which feels really heavy and tired. And you know, sometimes I try and

unpack it, well, what is it? You know what's causing it, and you know, blah blah, so then you can avoid it and you know, and you can make sense of it, folks. What's causing it is everything, Like, that's the reality. There isn't one thing that is causing my heaviness. It is everything. It is waking up to, you know, reports that continue to uphold white supremacy, genocide and condone it right. Reports.

My wonderful producer Andrew texts me in the morning, you know, with breaking news and different things, and he's just like, you know, twelve thousand, six hundred children are dead in Gaza, twelve thousand, six hundred, and he says, but the ap the Associated press use the term minors. He's like, because

we refuse to call them children. We refuse to say that we're okay with murdering, mutilating, blowing bodies apart of children, because you know, Netanyahu has the right to blow up babies, right, That's what the West has decided, That's what the United

States has decided, That's what Biden has decided. And on those days when you can't look away, right when you can't, there's not a place to look, there's not a place to scroll, there's not a television to turn on, and you're just like I thought we all knew right from wrong.

I thought we had gotten to a place in our civilization and in our understanding of humanity right from wrong, and we haven't right because this country, the Western world, the great colonizers of the planet, will decide whose children matter, whose lives are worth saving, right And outside of that, we just ingest and consume mass death and trauma like it's fucking normal. And so some days I feel heavier

than others. Some days my spirit actually doesn't want to get out of bed, and I am tired of trying to look today for the brighter side. What is the brighter side of genocide? What does that look like? Biden posts on Instagram. You know, I'm doing everything that I can and will do to bring the hostages home and to you know, create a two state solution. You know, believe me, believe you? Why why should we believe you? Nan Yahoo and his genocidal cabinet have said over and

over again they don't want a two state solution. They want to kill every single Palestinian. They want to bomb every single safe zone. They want to starve them, beat them, mutilate them. They don't want two states, so they want extermination. Biden says, Oh, I'm going to give you forty five days to write me a report. You know how many kids they're going to kill in forty five days. So

I feel heavy today. You know, we are just being exposed to so much death, to so much dehumanization on a regular basis that we are looking for any little bit of escape. So if it's the super Bowl and then they use that as cover to bomb the fuck out of Rafa, an area that was supposed to be designated as a safe zone. So folks, you know, I don't know. I don't know, but it just feels harder

and harder. And you have one side that is just filled with dictator, authoritarian, fascist wannabes who want to sink their teeth into what is left of our democracy and drain it for everything that it has left. And then you have another side that says that it's for democracy and continues to send billions of dollars of weaponry to

murder children. So today, I don't fucking know. You know, this isn't about Biden's age, This isn't about like I just I don't know what kind of world will exist a year from now, two years from now, three ten years from now. It just feels today like the darkness has just taken hold. And I know that there will be other days that present light, and other days where there are silver linings to find, joy to be made, art to consume, music to twirl to. I know that.

But on the days when the darkness takes hold, it's heavy. And so that's where I am. I am reading, I am listening to Andre three thousand's new Blue Sun album on repeat. I am praying, and I'm just sitting in it because today is a particularly hard day. I'm working with a nonprofit organization with their executive leadership team, and I'm reading. You know, they're amusing the book The Four Pivots Reimagining Justice, Reimagining Ourselves, written by Sean doctor Shawn

Ginwright Gainwright or gen Wright. I can't ever figure it out, but you know, in it, he talks a lot about what I've been thinking on, which is how to reimagine what resistance looks like because I no longer have have the energy for the consistent rage. I no longer have the energy for the hate. You know, I want my resistance to look like softness. I want my resistance to look like creativity, to look like creation, right and not

deprivation right. And I believe that hopelessness is one of the best tools and weapons of the right because if you can get a people to believe that there is no way out, that this is the best that there is going to be, and that every day is going to be more and more unstable, unhinged than the day before, then you win because at a certain point, people are not interested in pushing back because what are they pushing

back towards. We're at a tipping point in this country and you know that, you feel it, I know it, I feel it. And this election is going to be the deciding factor for America. Does it continue with the American democracy project? Or does it fall like every empire

has to dictators authoritarians. And you know, at some point hundreds of years from now, when archaeologists are going through the rubbles of you know, America pre twenty first century, maybe they'll find the answers that we refuse to see. But this is what it feels like to be inside

of a crumbling empire. It feels unstable, uncertain, dark, and Biden and the Biden administration is not doing themselves any favors by continuing to justify acts of depravity that are unjustifiable, And I'm no longer willing to argue with people over

what is right and what is wrong. If you have the power and the ability to blacklist and blackball people for speaking their truth, if you have the ability to turn off water and power and stop resources from entering into AID camps, right, how are you still saying that you are the one when you hold all the power in the cards. Do I think that what happened on October seventh was justifiable? Absolutely not. Do I think that

the reactions to that are justifiable, Absolutely fucking not. And So to pretend for people to get on social media and pretend that somehow they can make excuses for and sleep at night for the kind of just abject violence that we are seeing and saying that it is justified

tells me how far humanity has fallen. And you know what, I don't ever know if we've fucking risen, because these are the same motherfuckers that sat around for hundreds of years and sold human beings like they were fucking cattle and didn't bat an eyelash, that raped and pillaged and murdered right in order to extract more resources to build their greedy, blood soaked, fucking empires, And I'm looking to those people to see the humanity of others. Give me

a break, Give me a fucking break. They're so you know, absolutely devoid of reflection that they burn books, they wipe them from the shelves because they think that they can

hide what they have done. Do you know the more that I learn about what my ancestors went through in this country, in getting to this country, experienced under the hands of their fucking, depraved, disgusting, heartless, moral less like slave captors, and then I look at the products of those that sit now on the benches, that sit now in the courts, in the police departments, that have backed in written Project twenty twenty five to restore the White

Way of being. We repeat, we repeat, we recycle, we repeat, we repeat, we recycle because we refuse to teach, we refuse to learn, we refuse to reflect, use to question. So today I'm resting, and I encourage all of you who find yourself some days just not being able to meet the day, meet the moment with the energy that it needs to lay down, to take a nap, to tend to your heart, to tend to your spirit, because

some days that's literally all we can do. I want my resistance to look different, to feel different, because I feel different, and I don't want to be a part of their war. It's not serving me. I don't think that it's serving any of us. All we do is react and play whack a mole to the injustices that these monsters dream up. We just live inside of their nightmare, unable to imagine what freedom looks like, what it could

possibly feel like. Sean Ginwright asked what it could taste like and smell like, because we're so busy reacting to their hatred and just trying to hold the line. I want the time and the space to dream up something better, different, softer, centered and joy and beauty. I don't want to fight their way anymore because it's draining me of my soul. So some days we play flutes, listen to jazz, burn sage and breathe deep and let that be more than okay.

Let that be the nourishment and the healing that your spirit is begging for, because that's what the tired, the achiness, the heaviness is is your body saying lay down, rest Because you know who didn't have the opportunity to lay down and rest enslaved Africans. You know who doesn't have the ability to lay down and rest Those running for their lives right now, so we can send them love, light, energy, the highest of vibrations. But us all burning out at

the same time. Who does that serve? It doesn't serve anyone. So if you are like me today this week, give yourself grace, allow yourself to rest and recharge. That is it for me today. Dear friends, on woke f as always power to the people and to all the people. Power. Get woke and stay woke as fun