The State of Our Grief

a Black women led spiritual retreat. It was put on by a group called Bukuo Hoodoo. There's a bookstore that is owned by Chantra lewis the creative divine mind behind Bukuo Hoodoo, and it is about African traditional religion and getting to understand the source in a different way. And if you know anything about me, you know that I do not prescribe to or subscribe to any particular organized religion.

But I am someone who has throughout the course of my life from my work career personal have always been hungry, thirsty for education to understand how how people connect, to understand why we are here, to know the universe, more, to know people, more, to understand why humans move and act the way that they do. And I think that as our present, our present time becomes so devastating, I find myself wanting to go to the past. And I'm talking deep past. I'm talking the spark past. I'm talking like,

you know, the creation of the universe. Past. I'm talking about, you know, being purposefully disconnected from the elements so that we can abuse the earth. Pat I'm talking about the missionaries that created a religion that was based on extraction, and not just extraction from the ground, but extraction of people's souls, extraction of people's spirit, extraction of people's freedoms. Right.

And it is my exposure and experience around organized religion things that wars right today and yester year were fought over because what I know about how my interpretation of how we have come to existence in this world is

that religion is a creation by man. Right, because you don't need to go to a place, you don't need to tie money, you don't need to have a medium to connect you to whatever you believe to be or not believe as a source as spirit, as God, as this, as that, as you know all that is that goes

by so many different names. And why do I and have I looked for that type of understanding because I think that in order to truly understand what moves people, you have to understand what moves inside of people right when they hear certain scripture, certain words that drive them to commit all types of acts, acts of kindness and compassion, acts of depravity right all in the name of this said being. And where I find myself right now is where many of you find yourselves, which is just at

a deep place of grief. Right If you watch Brene Brown's Actlas of the Heart, and I forget what stream place its on, and it was her book. It talks about the eighty sum odd emotions that we have an experience as humans, but we can only really name five of them. And grief is something that is different than sadness. Grief to me is something that shows up physically and

spiritually and mentally. That is like putting a thousand weighted satchels around your body and then being told to sprint in the heat without water across coals that are heated.

And for years now we have been challenged with the products of greed of hatred, of discrimination, of lawlessness, of lies, of sickness, of death that has besieged us in the United States, but around the globe and folks, we can go beyond the last three years of COVID to other points and pain points and wounds, ancient wounds of our history. And when I say our history, I mean of human beings on this earth history. To understand that we live inside of a dual experience where there is always going

to be light and darkness. We're going to always contend withholding both of these things. But the question that I think is one of the many that is being asked of us right now, is is the light that we're trying to hold and be and shine out real, right? Or is it someone else's fluorescent lighting that is making us think that it's natural light? But it's so false. Right. It is light that has you see what others want you to see and not what you truly see. There's

a scene in The Devilwar's Prada. Meryl Streep is talking to Anne Hathaway in the room of folks that work at the or whatever the fake magazine was in The Devilwares Prada, and she's telling her about the fact that she did not choose the sweater that she is wearing, that it was actually chosen by her, by the people that are in this room, right, that the ones that set trends and set style, right that everyone else follows from the high end of you know, fashion, all the

way down to, as she says, the bargain basement bin, which is where you received that sweater from, no doubt. And that's what I think about when I think about this moment where people feel like it is necessary in some way, shape or form to watch this war in Israel and Palestine as if you are watching a video game and choosing sides. Humanity is the side that we

should be choosing. Right. Babies are being killed, whether they are being killed from the bombs that Israel is using to drop on Gaza, or they're being killed at the hands of Hamath. Women are being raped as a form of battle, whether that is happening by Israeli soldiers who are destroying and have been destroying Palestinian homes and lives for seventy five years, or whether it is happening at

the hands of Hammah since the late nineteen eighties. You see, I'm going to be honest, and I'm going to say some things that may have me lose listeners and have people call me all types of names. But this is

the truth that I'm going to share. When I went to Israel and Palestine in twenty fifteen, I was brought there by the Foundation for Middle East Piece that brought a cohort of journalists of color and a few white journalists as well, to speak with activists, Palestinian activists, Israeli activists, to speak with lawmakers inside of the Kannesset to understand to get a better understanding and situational understanding of what

had been transpiring in this part of the world. Now, let me preface everything that I'm going to say with which is I am not a Middle Eastern scholar. I am not a scholar in Israeli politics, in Palestinian politics. Right. What I am sharing with you is my experience that I had, which I am an expert in. I'm an expert in me. I'm an expert in understanding in justice. I'm an expert in what it means to live in a society that marginalizes those that are not part of

the mainstream or deemed undesirable. I am an expert in that while I was there, I had the great fortune of being taken around to Jerusalem, to East Jerusalem, to the West Bank, to Tel Aviv, to all different parts of this very small, fracticious but incredibly important in the

foundation of every religion, every mainstream religion. When I'm talking about Islam, Judaism, and Christianity, so not every religion, excuse me, the main streamed Big Three that we often discuss in this country, because let me tell you, what is happening in India's a story for another day. What happens in African nations is a story for another day. So I'm talking about the Big Three and this place that is not very big, but that's been filled with so much bloodshed,

so much pain, and so much injustice. What I will tell you is that my experience was shocking because when you are a black person in America, you understand discrimination and hatred through the lens of white supremacy. You understand

difference in terms of physical difference. Right, the melanated black people in this country have been mistreated, abused, terrorized, tortured, raped, beaten, expelled for centuries in the United States and still are beaten in the streets like dogs, suffer, vacated in the street, like dogs, hung from trees, all of it. And we understand that again through the lens of white supremacy. If you are not white, and you are not Christian, you are not treated well in America, nor have you been.

But when I went to Israel and Palestine, what initially shocked me was the fact that to me there was no physical difference at all. Everyone looked like members of the same family. And I looked and I looked for what, what is this thing that has you cage people? Right? Because that is what Gaza is, which I wasn't able to visit because at the time there was a spark in fighting, and so there was a lot of bombing that was happening, and the trip was almost called off.

But for those on the trip who had been to Gaza prior explained conditions that no human being should ever be forced to live in. You see, we come from a space and place where we say, well, if you don't like it, then leave. Palestinians don't have that ability because they don't have freedom of movement, they don't have bodily autonomy, they don't have self determination. So when you are seeing and witnessing right now people leaving because it's

too dangerous. Those are free Israelis that are leaving, that have the ability to leave. The people who are being bombed off of the face of this earth don't have that same freedom. They're not allowed to leave. They are forced to live in utter sickness and despair and grief.

I cannot express to you some of the eyes that I saw on my trips to the West Bend to East Jerusalem going through security, and as a black woman, I can tell you that what it felt like a combination of the worst Jim Crow and the worst apartheid that I had ever read about, And it was something else to experience it up close and personal outside of

a museum. So when you are being told that there are only one side's life that matters, and you see people arguing, and you may yourself be choosing to get on social media to argue with people, understand that you

are arguing about humanity. Right. Everyone, everyone, regardless of who they worship, whether they worship, what they look like, who they love, and what body they are in able or disabled, should have self determination, should be able by virtue of being born human, be born free, so anywhere where you see that, there are powers that be whose job it is to dehumanize and decouple people from their humanity so that the justification of their mistreatment can be because they

are not like us. They don't pray like us, they don't love like us, they don't look like us. Understand that that is propaganda that is centuries old. I understand the desire to want to show your solidarity by putting up the Israeli flag wearing rite it as if it is Ukraine. But I want people to understand that both Palestinians and Israelis deserve freedom, self determination, and to live

free of fear, persecution, and abuse. And to say, right, if all white people are not Maga, if all white people are not the KKK, then all Palestinians are not Hamas, then all Palestinians are not terrorists, then all Muslims and all that pray differently should not be subjugated, because living a life through fear is no life at all. Because for me, in my expertise as a black queer woman, being a black queer woman in these United States, I know what was said and what continues to be said

about black people to justify excessive force. This century's old lies superpower strength of black men. So you need to have three, four, five six officers suffocate to death and Eric Gardner the presumption of guilt by virtue of your skin. So you need to shoot first and ask questions later because you fear for your life. I know what it is like to be a part of a group that

is marginalized, that is demonized and dehumanized. Being and having been oppressed can sometimes open the door to you turning into the oppressor and making the same justification that was made for your end, making that for someone else's and calling that righteousness and saying that anyone that objects to that then objects to your humanity and your right to exist. Having been oppressed, having been murdered and tortured, does not give you the liberty to do that to other people.

I don't care what religion you are, I don't care what ethnic group you come from. What we are and what we are seeing is a bunch of wounded souls who have never been healed, continue to inflict wound after wound, death blow after death blow. This is no way to live. Whether it is inside of the United States, whether it is in the Middle East, whether it is on the continent of Africa, whether it is in Asia. Having been

subjugated does not give you the license to subjugate. And we should ask ourselves as Americans, just like we did when we all witnessed the murder of George Floyd, your tax dollars are going to fund all of the hashtags that follow Black Lives Matter that were people with families, with lives with future. They are going to fund this same oppression in countries around the world, including Israel and Palestine.

So when I see cities around the world turn blue in solidarity, what that says to me is solidarity for who? Because what color should we put up for solidarity with humanity? What color is that? Because it isn't about calling for peace in the Middle East. What you're doing is picking a side. And what I'm saying is that there is no side to humanity. That's what propaganda has you do is make a choice where there isn't one. We don't

need to devalue in order to show our solidarity. Showing solidarity is asking and fighting for a just and free world. From book bands to marriage, to freedom of movement, to freedom to drink clean water, freedom to make a family or not, freedom to pray in the way that fills your soul or not. That's what we are fighting for. We are not fighting against a people or a religion. We are not on somebody's access. That is somebody else's political agenda. That is not our truth. Our truth is

about humanity. Our truth is about love. Our truth is about creation, not deprivation. So when you find yourself shedding tears for one group and not the other, ask yourself why. That is the reason. Mamma till Emmettil's mother opened up his casket to say that her son's life mattered just like everybody else's. The people inside of Gaza matter just

as much as the people outside of that war. And if you feel differently and you think differently, you should ask yourself why and whose rules and whose propaganda you are buying, because that is what is fueling this war and every war. That is it for me today, dear friends on wo g F, Power to the people and to all the people. Power, get woke and stay woke as fuck.