The Privilege to Reflect

know you'll get a lot of hateful things. So the other day I decided to go to Apple because I wanted to see, like how the show was doing, like the ratings or whatever, like how people rate them. And so right now on Apple this is where you get the show. WOKAF has a four point three out of five rating. So first of all, shout out to all of the people that take time to do ratings, like I genuinely appreciate it, and a lot of content creators appreciate it. I do not get folks that hate listen

to shit like time is so precious. The number of one star ratings that this show has is wild to me, because here's the thing, my time, my life is precious. I am not wasting thirty minutes plus listening to someone who I can't stand, or watching a show I can't stand,

like it's stupid. So for those people who found themselves to wokaf and then took that time to listen to the show, decide that they can't stand me, and then decide to take the extra time to go and write a review, go live your life, bool, Go live your life. Ain't nobody missing you over here. Go live your life right. Do things that you enjoy, Listen to things you enjoy. Okay, but again, shout out to those folks who left rave reviews.

I did not read them all, but I genuinely really appreciate it, you know, particularly when things are just getting tougher and tougher by the day, harder and harder to stomach. It is good to know that there are people who find value in the guests that I have on, who find value in the commentary that I offer. It makes getting up to do this work each and every day worth it, particularly when I find myself down, which I

have been. You know, the holiday season is a mixed bag, and it's a mixed bag for a lot of reasons. Because we I don't know if it's hallmark, if it's society, if it's capitalism that created the idea that like we begin again new January first, and so there's always this insane rush to get everything crammed into the last couple of weeks of the year that you were in so that you can begin fresh in the middle of winter.

If we were to actually be following a new year, wouldn't the new year happen in spring and actually follow nature. So for folks who feel the urge and the need to like and this year strong, like, just fucking you know, go about your business right, like if you have the time off, if you're privileged enough to be able to take the time between Christmas and New Year's off, like just enjoy yourself, like I don't know, you know, soak in a tub, light some candles, you know, do some

nice stretches, take some walks, cuddle with your animals. What are some plants? But like this you know, rush and urge to like start fresh in the middle of the dark,

to me does not really make any sense. I think that more than anything, I like to use, you know, the end of the year as an opportunity for reflection right on, you know, on how things have gone, how I am feeling is kind of where I'm choosing to ground myself because I find that too often we're so busy checking off all of the lists and the boxes and all of the money that we need to spend to gift people things and all of the things that we need to rush and do, and then we need

to perform like happiness in some instances. And there are some people that actually, you know, that are readily happy at this time of year. There are a lot of people, though, that I find that are performing happiness because all of the commercials and the jingles and like every fucking you know store window is telling you that this is your time of year to be in full joy. Goddamn it.

It's always just like a lot of pressure. So I just want to tell folks take the pressure off, Like you don't need to be all the things and do all the things. You can create new rituals, You can create new traditions, especially for those folks that find themselves not with family or friends. Like, there is nothing saying

that you can't create new traditions for yourself. And I will offer that for the past couple of New Years right celebrations I have been here, cocooned in my home, you know, lighting candles, doing yoga, meditating really deeply, and just kind of taking stock right of the end of the year. And part of that was brought on I

actually not even part of it. All of it was brought on because of COVID, Right, Like, we weren't able to gather with people for so many years, and we would recognize that during the winter, right there would be spikes, and so you know, whatever plans you may have made,

you know, would get tossed in the trash. And so instead of like lamenting about New Year's traditions gone by and big parties and all of these things and trying to find the place and do the thing, I just really created the new tradition of wanting to end the year solo with myself, you know, and just relaxing, taking stock, you know, saging, just kind of you know, writing in my journal, doing all of these things. And so this year I decided that I'm sick and tired of the

fucking cold. Even though climate change hasn't been that cold in New York. We've had some down days, but not really And so I'm going away because I decided that I wanted to spend the new year in salt water and in warmth. So that's what I'm doing for myself new tradition alert just decided a couple of weeks ago, so just going to take a couple of days soa

can the sea wash away? Twenty twenty three, which was a mixed bag, right, Like as all years are, I don't think that we ever had a year where one is like, oh my god, every single month, every single day was amazing. Like, No, what we do learn, I think as we age and as we really try and unpack all different aspects of our emotions and our trauma and our past and our patterns, is how to navigate better when things are thrown at you, which they inevitably will, right.

I think that this idea of the perfect life or the perfect way to be, or the perfect tree or the perfect holiday again just adds in a lot of pressure that we don't need because the world is a pressure cooker enough. That being said, folks, if you are feeling again a mix of like I'm really looking forward to being with my family and friends, or like, how am I supposed to experience joy?

in really thoughtful conversations with your family and friends. You know, I think to myself often that we would not find ourselves in this maga driven world right now if we didn't heed the idea that not talking about politics was somehow polite, Right, that not talking about our values and our religion and sharing those things with the people that are closest to us was somehow polite. It isn't. What

it does is create distance. What it does is create gaps that allows negativity and stereotypes and discrimination and prejudice to fill up that space. Why not engage in the conversations with the people closest to you about the things that matter to you the most. And so I want to urge people as we are, you know, winding down the year and you know, just about I guess you know, ten days or so away from Christmas, if you're Christian and you celebrate that that use this time to actually

talk with your family and friends. Do not turn away from hard conversations, and do not just shut down because somebody doesn't agree with you. You like, allow there to be in exchange. Get off your fucking phones, you know,

and I'm saying that to myself. Get off your phones right and talk And frankly, if you find it difficult, get one of those little conversation starter card games and bring that to your cocktail party, to your Christmas dinner, to you know, wherever, and have people draw, you know, draw a card and just like talk with one another. Put the phones away, put on some music, and just engage because it's that it's that kind of connectivity, it's

that kind of community building. It's that kind of intimacy that is what moves our humanity forward and what expands our humanity as opposed to shrinking it into a device that we are looking to to tell us everything about everything, right, instead of just thinking and wondering. Remember wondering right when you somebody would ask a tough question or quiz and instead of coming up with the answer, it's like the answer wasn't really the thing. We just wanted to wonder

a bit. So in this season that is supposed to be about wonderment and joy and magic and all of these things. Get back to that, and that requires putting your phone down and not just getting from A to Z, but like wondering about what comes in the middle, and

you'll be surprised, right, You'll be surprised by it. So that's what I am planning to do and focus on and really try and create new ways of being because what I'm finding right as we are living through just I don't know, some days, impossible times, is our in ability to connect with one another and to just take you know, just shut down and shut off anything that we don't like in search of the things that you know,

we supposedly will boost our own way of thinking. One of the reasons why I love to read so much and have an obsession with books right now, and I can't help myself from purchasing more. I get sent so many books from publishers and literary agents, you know, to get authors on the shows. So like I'm always like downstairs in you know my I'm always getting like a delivery. But I also, on top of the books that are sent to me, I also purchase an obscene amount because

I love learning. I love reading. If it's fiction, I love discovering new worlds and new spaces if it's nonfiction. I love the ability to expand my mind and increase life, like you know, my knowledge base, and you know, I think about how important and how powerful books are, which

is why there is such a rush to erase everything. Right, Like when you see when you need to figure out what the opposition finds dangerous, look at the things that they're trying to ban, right, look at the things that they're trying to control, and then double down on them. If you're struggling to figure out what to get for people, don't get them another fucking sweater. Don't get them something that they can get themselves. Get them a book, Get them a you know, an audiobook or a hardcover book

or a softcover book. Give them an experience, right like, give them a journey to take sign them up for some podcasts, you know, light plug. But I think that if we all had the desire to learn more, to expand our horizons and not just be told what to think, how to act, where to move what matters, we would

find ourselves in a better place. And so for me, as I wind down the year, I'm kind of reflecting on books that I've read, conversations that I've had, books that I'm bringing with me as I decide to end the year in salt water. Because I'm really interested and

curious about humanity right now. I'm also really worried about humanity right now, and the best way for me to realize to stop worrying is to limit the amount of time that I spend on social media and to increase the amount of time that I spend reading and writing and listening to music and connecting with my friends and

family and authentic and real ways. I think that if we were to spend our time doing that, we would find ourselves less angry, less scared, less filled with anxiety, right because connection is what has us avoid that or experience it less. Frankly, why do I say this on this fucking Friday? Because I have found myself over the last couple of weeks, as many of you have who have DMed me and tweeted at me, just consumed with worry.

You know, you hear it in the conversations that I'm having about poll numbers and like really worrying that Democrats and the Biden administration are just going to hand this election to Donald Trump because they're not paying attention to their base, They're not paying attention to what matters. They're thinking that how we viewed foreign policy in the past is somehow going to be how we move and think now,

and it's not right. I think that a lot of people are a lot more conscious and aware of what are money has gone to do. And while we are here without you know, universal healthcare, while we are here without childcare tax credits, while we are here without innovative and thoughtful green architectural design that is funded by government, while we are here, you know, teetering on the brink of authoritarianism and fascism, we send billions and billions and

billions of dollars to kill people. You know, I woke up this morning and I was thinking to myself, the Biden administration is requested something close to fifteen billion dollars to aid Israel in their warmongering. They've only pledged one hundred million dollars in humanitarian aid to Gaza. How the fuck does that make sense? It doesn't even make sense. Like in the math, you spend billions of dollars to destroy and one hundred million dollars to rebuild, and how

can you rebuild? They're turning this area, this part of the world, Gaza into a graveyard. They have eighty five percent of the people are displaced. Half of the people that have been killed or children and women. You know, I know that it's controversial to tell the truth right and to share feelings, but like, I'm centered around humanity and this is not the type of world that I

want to live in. And I know that like one conversation at a time won't fix it, right, But I know that not talking about these things, not trying to understand right, to overstand why we believe that a world filled with chaos, fueled by greed and anger and ego

is it just because it's all we've ever known. And that's why I tell us it is time for us to rest, so that we can rest our minds and our nervous systems and imagine and dream about other worlds and other ways of being because how we are being, how we have been socialized, it's terrible, right, But I do know that when you are on the brink of birthing something new, there is a lot of pain involved in that, and I think that we are in that pain.

So as the year winds down, and you know, and I will continue, we're gonna take a break here at WOLLKF, but we're going to leave you with some amazing episodes and conversations and interviews with some of your faves. But I too need a break, you know, to wind down, to rest, to dream, to sleep, to imagine what comes next, because what we've been experiencing is heartbreaking. What we've been experiencing is traumatizing, and we don't even allow ourselves a

moment to reflect on that. No, are we existing with sirens and bombs raining down, Absolutely not. That isn't our current exists, But it doesn't mean that we are not traumatized by what we are seeing and what we are consuming. So just you know, it isn't about flipping the calendar year and all of a sudden new year knew me.

It is about, though, having the privilege and the time to reflect on what has transpired and what you're hoping to create a new you know, as we begin another twelve months of the year.