Our Shared Humanity

actually want to be taking this show. Waha hot Ali is a colleague, He is a friend, He is a righteous warrior for justice, and he is also my co host on Democracy Ish, which airs on Thursdays, Folks, and if you're not checking out out you should wherever you get your podcasts. And today's conversation with waj you know, I didn't want to talk about what is trending in

the news, although we do bring it up. I wanted to talk to him about what it means to be a person of faith at a time when so many people are feeling so dark, and to be a person of faith in a faith and religion that is demonized, even though it is billions strong what it means to raise thoughtful, compassionate, empathetic global citizens. He has three kids, and so today's conversation is about, you know, continuing the work that we do that keeps us in the news,

in the acid rain every single day. But how do we continue to hold on to our faith, our joy, our purpose and not allow ourselves to become hardened and distant and disconnected because of the despair and the grief that we are seeing on our screens every single day.

So I hope that you take from this conversation some tips and some tools to how to keep yourself spiritually and emotionally and mentally well and how to continue to want to be a part of the progress and the change, because that's the kind of work that we need to be doing, is recognizing our shared humanity. Coming up next

my conversation with my friend Waja hot Ali. Folks, I am so excited whenever I get to do a crossover mashup with this time of my favorite friends and Waja hot Ali, author of Go Back to You to Go Back to Where You Came from, Daily Bee's columnist and my co host of one of my fifty eleven thousand podcasts, Democracy Ish is in the Woke app house today and I am grateful while we are pre recording this at a time when there is just devastation, grief that is

raining down in our country, around the world, and people are struggling, and because we happen to have decided to, for whatever fucking reason, make a career out of analyzing, out of analyzing chaos. I want to start off with you as a human being, which is, you know, people get some idea of what it's like to bathe in acid rain on a regular basis, but that kind of how I feel that this job has become and I want to, you know, ask you from from whence you came into this profession till now?

what we do is like masochists. We voluntarily hurl ourselves towards the bigots, and you kind of get and it's it's important not to get numb, because you want to recognize that, you know, ugliness and bigotry and hate should not be just tolerated, right, Like you don't have to just take it. And that's one of those things where you have to realize that you know, I am a human being, I have self worth. I realize that I've created this type of implicit contract with the universe that

whenever you're a public figure, the universe will respond. Everyone's a critic. But that doesn't mean that you have to sit there and take people shit and abuse, right. And that's something that like years ago as a writer, I figured it out, like, yeah, you can give me your unsolicited opinion, and sure you can come in and tell me how to end my play and how I should have started my article, even though you've never written anything before,

and you can think I've done. But I don't have to sit there and indulge your ignorance, stupidity and hate.

be said about disposition. Some people like me, I think are capable, not because I'm better than anyone of taking it.

his carrot. It's always Yousemite Sam and Elmer Fudd who are messing up Bugs Bunny's date, right, And so what Bugs Bunny does is he uses Elmer Fudd and Yusemite Sam's traps against him. And he also has a little fun while doing it. And so for me, Danielle, the strategy that I've done and you could probably see in my tweets and facebooks when I respond to some ignorant comments is uh, I try to have a.

met him. I'm American, overweight, left handed Jahat. Nice to meet you, and all these people just like had to like people are like man, I needed that laugh then yeah, yeah, So that's how I respond. And also I will say this is two things. I make sure I have a space mental and spiritual where I cleave it off and I lean into what gives me joy, you know, my kids, my wife, food, whatever it is. And I recommend that

for everyone find spaces that give you joy. And the second thing I will say is I forget sometimes, Danielle, how you and I do is not for everyone.

My email was on the cal Muslim Student Association website and guess who got all the hate mail? And it's been like that every day ever since.

But being able to essentially have not like teflon down, but to actually have like real thoughtfulness in how you make a choice, a conscious decision not to take on other people's shit, right that you can, because what I feel happens with times that we are living in that feel like you're just inundated everywhere you go, is that you forget that you can turn it off. You forget that you can walk away from the fights that are

beckoning you. You forget that you don't have to have the news on for twenty four hours a day, seven days a week, that you can choose something else. And I think that you and I talked about this, you know, last week on democracy issue, where we talked about choosing humanity right, choosing humanity above all else. It seems like a really old and kind of cliche thing to say, but it's like when you look around and all things are going to hell, like literally hell in a handbasket.

I don't think that you can choose anything other than humanity because the darkness like will just take hold of you. So, you know, for you, you talked about you know, finding joy through your children, through your faith, and I want to give you an opportunity to talk about that faith, to talk about out you know, because you are a very faithful Muslim. You are practicing Muslim that are raising three children, you know, in a country that does not love you, and and a in a world where there

are billions that practice. But it is a religion that has been demonized. Yeah, so what does it mean to hold on to to a faith and to be so faithful with a religion that has been placed in being synonymous right with terrorism and hate?

want this. Why do we want to bring in such a toxic force that has brought us so much pain and misogyny and racism and homophobia and cruel We're done with it now. What's so fascinating is with the rise of the nuns, which freaks out the Big Three. By the way, I always tell the Big Three folks that something my fellow believers. I'm like, first of all, understand why people are leaving right. Secondly, when they're leaving this what's fascinating. And then an answer to your question, people

are still surging, Daniel, it's not. People are so they'll go to yoga, they'll go to cross fit, they'll go to Coachella, they'll go to Burning Man. And when you really like go like investigate, Look what's that root of this? Human beings need connection. It's talking to a friend of mine who who's a psychiatrist, very well educated in the Bay Area, and I asked him recently, you know Boutuk's ago. I said, what do most people come to you with?

He said, you know, there are people who have everything. They have the money, they have the zip code, they have the job, picture perfect family. They don't have contentment. They have anxiety, unrest, depression. So I'm like, what's the root cause of it? And he goes, people just need connection. They need something firm, something to ground themselves with, something you know, to feel something sincere with someone or something. And this is why for me, I do believe in God.

That's what's so funny. People are like, your politics are very progressive, but you're like a traditional Pakistani uncle at home, you know, like three kids, you're a teetotaler. You've gone to hudge, you pray. I'm like, it is very funny for me. It gives me a connection and rudedness to something bigger than myself. It allows me to connect to force that allows me to recognize that in the grand scheme of things, I'm but what nothing.

and what do I do with that time? How do I choose to live my life and to exercise and flex the privileges that I've been given right and then the last thing it is it really deals with a mindset for me, and so I can choose to be miserable, or I can choose to invest in joy. I can choose to see what the lack of everything, or I could choose to see what's in front of me. I could choose to be grateful, or I could choose to

be miserable. And for me, that's what that perspective, Danielle is what has helped me navigate much of the you know, crazy shit that's happened in life that you know about that for me, it's given me that peace of mind and peace of soul. And at the end of the day, what I'll end with this is, you know, I've never proselytized because I think it's a very personal relationship between a person and God. And that's why I don't care if you will do what you do what you gotta do.

But for me, I always tell people this, like, how do you know of God existsingly? I don't know. But what I do know is I have a limited time on this earth, and with the time that I have, this makes me.

talk to them. And what I have found is that for me, organized religion has always been very dogmatic in the things that you couldn't do right. And I think that, you know, it was always like, you know, if you're a woman, you have to act like this. You know, you have to have babies, you have to wear a skirt, you have to be docile to and it was always

very prescriptive. And I thought, you know, this universe, this this world that we're living in, is so massive, right, Like the God that I believe in, which I do, doesn't believe in in in restriction, right, Like like like why would you create a universe that is so boundless and so beautiful to tell people don't smell that flower, smell this one, don't talk, you know, don't pet that dog, pet this one? Right? And so what I have come to understand is that it is it's it's man is

the problem, you know, Like, it isn't. It isn't the it isn't spirit, it isn't God, it isn't the universe. It is it's the way that I view politics, right, Like, I believe in government for and by the people. I believe that there is a way to build a society that has humanness at the center of it, right, not privilege,

not greed. And so when you look, when you detact, like the the the dogma from like what the belief structure is that all people should be able to exist free of harm, you know, and be able to like enjoy the bounty uh in their in their lives. It's just like, what does what stops that from happening? Right?

whatever religion you want versus the actual source. Because there was some there's some guy who I think his name is Matthew Cook, and he's a writer and a director and he's you know, all over social media and he did this you know, beautiful video where he was just like, if you look at everyone's text, it all formulated from this same literally the same place, but literally the same ideas, right of fasting for clarity of one to center the

least among us. Right, So it isn't it wasn't the idea that was that you know that the ideas are the same, it's the interpretation that has been contorted. And so I always, you know, I find myself and I'll ask you this now, even though you are a traditional Pakistani Buslam uncle, which is you know, how has your faith and the way that you are also raising your children, if it has that all changed shifted over the last few years.

it unleashes nothing but cruelty and makes people miserable. There's no joy, there's no benefit of it. There's no joy, like what's your cell? Your cell is do this or you'll go to hell. And it doesn't stick with people, Danielle.

of cynicism, of lack of connectedness. And I think this is where, like you said, the source of it all is a profound spiritual source where, if you really think about it, all of us literally come like even the primordial suit, we all came like we all got star stuff in us, right, Yeah, And this is where I think the core of it is is how do you maintain the particularities of your religion, but don't let that get in the way of appreciating and indulging and investing

in our shared humanity. Yeah, our shared humanity. And what you're what you're articulating is where religion actually, instead of allowing us to expand ourselves and to be generous and to invest in our shared humanity, it puts the walls. That's a coper, disbeliever, fassic, mushrik, aggressor, pervert. You know me me me, me, me here, and let me construct a small cocoon and live in that cocoon forever, which is what we're seeing more and more in the United

States of America, especially with disinformation. So for my children, what me and my wife do very deliberately is we live in a very diverse neighborhood. Our neighbors they're best friends, are Ethiopian Americans. They're other best friends. Are I just found out yesterday actually conservative, never Trumper, Republicans who are Evangelical Christians white. My kids are the brown kids. You've heard my home before every time we recorded like eight

hundred children in our home. Our home is that like neighborhood home like yesterday, Like like's like from six to eight thirty. I look at my house, there's like seven kids just going wild, and I'm like, all right, that's great. And so what we tell our kids is we are raising you musclim but know that not everyone is Muslim. You are Pakistani, not everyone is Pakistani. Your job is to be the best version of yourself, but also be respectful to everyone else. Right, don't look down on people.

You know that my son went to a preschool and there were two moms, and we've talked about this. We're now like all these religious communities like LGBT, the butt, sex, the trans what's happening? And then what we did. My son was four and now he's nine. But like we literally said, hey, Abraham, you know that your friend who came over and his two moms. You know, every family

is different. Some people have two moms, some people one month, some people are biracial, but you know, you just be respectful to people and you understand that the world is big that way. And you know what my four year old son goes, Yeah, okay. Kids have this capacity of innocence and generosity that we get hardened, Danielle as we get older. So what we're trying to cultivate is this elasticity,

this expansion. You know, be centered and grounded in who you are, be proud of you who you are, but don't let that be used as a cudgel against any way. Right And I've said to him, and having lived this life as oftentimes a token Muslim in a climate where we are condemned even right now, I have to condemn violent acts done by Hamas. Even though I'm born and raised in America, we're all lumped together. I say, the choice is, if people are cruel to you, do you choose.

is a choice. Every every moment in our lives, we have a choice. We can choose to be kind, We can choose to be loving. We can choose you know, or you or we can pickle and spite, you know, and and and hatred. And this is coming from somebody who you know, carries around a mustard seed of hope.

But I tell I, you know, but I tell people like this is this is a journey because if rage alone, if anger alone was going to uh was going to be the answer, then all of the doors would have been unlocked by now, right, that's it's not it's not

the answer. And so I appreciate you so very much, and I'm just, you know, so thankful of the way that you were raising your beautiful children and family and for the work that you're doing and for you know, but being the bugs bunny to you know, to the Yosemite Sam.

the model that we've been given. I want to end on this oftentimes is rage, anger, pain, and our kids see that, and our kids see that, and our kids would be like, you know what, I don't want that. I'm going to tap out. And so I want my kids and that generation to be like, oh, Baba tried. I mean it was kind of weird and old and overweight, but he tried, and he still had joy, and he

still loved our mama, and he played with us. And there is a way to live this life with purpose and intentionality and fight the good fight, but also not give up your vanity and not give up your smile. And I think that's a better story and a better model for our kids. And that's the one that I want to impart.