Meet Celeste the Therapist

We're living and existing and trying to work and live and find joy in compounded trauma and what that looks like. So today we dig into the conversations that I've been having with all of you with regard to that ambient stress that The New York Times talked about, that stress that is just running in the back of our minds on a day to day that doesn't ever go anywhere.

And so if we know that that is apparent, and we know that it is happening, and if we're unconscious of it, then we don't think about the tactics and the ways in which we can begin to get that stress out of our bodies in healthy ways. So first it is about acknowledging the fact that we are stressed out that there is a lot going on, and a lot of what is happening is sadly out of our control. But knowing that there actually are things that we can be doing. We can go for walks, we can have

planned time with family and friends. We can garden, we walk with our pets. We can join groups, community groups. If you are, you know, politically aligned, as I know many of you are, you can go and look for campaigns that you can volunteer for in your local counties and states and areas that allow you to maybe do

some door knocking. Even though I got to tell you folks, I know folks that are out right now that are knocking on doors, and I just have to tell my BIPOC folks, my black Indigenous people of color, to be careful. And why do I say that specifically to them? Oh, I don't know, because we have a tendency to get shot by being on other people's doorsteps, and so I

get really worried about what happens to those volunteers. So maybe going in groups, mixed groups of people and acting as advocates for each other, if you choose that path. But you know what also has gotten me this week is I know that people are, you know, chomping at the bit, believing that Donald Trump his day is finally coming. And I have to tell you that I would not count my chickens before they hatch. I would not even

hold my breath. There's a part of me that believes that a lot of what is happening right now is just more pomp and circumstance. It's like the busy work that a substitute teacher would provide to a student just to keep them occupied, but it doesn't actually really do anything. And that's kind of how I'm feeling. I know that, you know, Weisselberg was found guilty on fifteen felony counts, and guess what, He's going to serve less time in jail than a black person that was found with a

dime bag of weed. Right meanwhile, he had assaulted the I don't know federal government, right, harming people. But he'll serve five months and then he'll go off and collect his multimillions or billions. Right. These punishments that are coming down, if you can even really call them, that are nothing more than a slap on the wrist. It's why these people do the shit that they do, because more times than not, they don't get caught. And when they do

get caught, white collar criminals and quotations use it. You know, they get a slap on the wrist, they get a fine if anything really and so you know, and I see, Oh, Lindsay Graham is going to be defined to not testify before the Georgia grand jury as he is also calling for a transparency from the FBI. I'm like, Lindsay, shut the fuck up. Like you can't honestly have it both ways. Where at one hand you want to respect law enforcement and say that, oh, we need to have transparency all

for your king Donald Trump. But when we're looking for when the American people are looking for transparency into who it is that you were threatening and or buying off in order to overturn the fucking election for Donald Trump, all of a sudden, you're all mum's the word. Like, I'm just tired. I think that I've gotten to a point where I'm just tired. You know, if they all get arrested, I'll be surprised. If they don't get arrested and they're able to live out their days, I also

won't be surprised. Right, Like, there is nothing that can come out these days that will say, oh, yeah, you know, this is America doing what it needs to be done to hold people accountable. Is the Biden administration doing what it needs to be done. Yeah, you know, they're passing huge pieces of legislation that of course no one is talking really about in the media because they're all tied

up on in the Donald Trump circus. Right, And so you know what will happen during mid terms now that we know that Republicans are a rabid cult and everybody that they're going to put in positions of power believes in over still overturning the twenty twenty election, that believes in election fraud, that you know, doesn't believe that people should have the right to vote, believes that sixteen year olds and ten year old rape victims should become mothers

enforced into parenthood, That believe that former veterans should be teaching children. They have no certification, no degree in teaching whatsoever. But you know what they do have a gun and quote unquote patriotism. So I guess that'll work in those red states. Not to mention what our economy and our job force will look like in maybe five to ten years when these kids are entering into this place knowing very little, right because we don't give a fuck about

education in this country. So you know, I take everything these days with a grain of salt, and it's why I think that it's important to have mindfulness practices. I think that it's important to dive into your friendships and your loved ones and your own community, because what is happening outside is just more of the same bullshit white sis men doing whatever it is that they want, no

one holding them accountable. Everyone you know, screaming for a little bit just to give the appearance right that we're going to do something and make sure that everyone is held to the same laws and standards, and then we actually do nothing when all of the fanfare and the screeches go away. That's pretty much where I am. So coming up next my conversation with Celeste the Therapist, to unpack all the ways that we can stay sane and emotionally well right in a place of thriving and not

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streaming on YouTube and Twitch. Folks, I am very excited to welcome to woke f Daily for the first time. Select their Vicier. I am. I am going to Butcher Butcher your your your last name Vicier, who is the host of Select the Therapist, a podcast that dives into mental health emotional well being. So let's thank you so much for taking the time to join us. I want to jump in because I am a person who believes

wholeheartedly in mental health and emotional well being. I think that it is the cornerstone of everything that we are able to do. So I want to ask you how did you get started in therapy and then what prompted you to start a podcast? Thank you for having me. I'm just as excited as you are. I started as a therapist mainly because I was working at a homeless shelter when I was younger, and people will always say thank you, and I was like, why are they thank you?

MA said thank you for listening. I grew up in church and was always told to pray about things, and so I went into the phild of psychology and then I learned about all the different modalities than I went to therapy myself so then I set out, I want people to learn about the different modalities of healing. So I started to go on like YouTube and periscope, and

periscope was around and answer questions around mental health. And then I and people would say, oh, you're a therapist, it's easy for you, and I say, I'm human just like you. I have to do the same things I talk about. And I said, this was in twenty eighteen. I said, well, let me get other people on who are doing things to empower people, so that they can see it's not just because I'm a therapist that I'm able to deliver what I talk about or do the

things that I do. And so that's the reason why I kind of went into this direction of like talking to people on my platform and just talking on social media around mental health. You know, do you think you know over the past couple of decades that mental health has become more stream mainstream, and I mean that conversations about mental health have become more mainstream. And if you agree, why do you think there's been such a ship? Yeah.

When I first first started coming on social media and probably about twenty twelve thirteen, you know, I had people saying like why are you talking about that stuff? Or it wasn't it wasn't well received. But because I stay focused on my goal is the only reason why I've stayed consistent, Not because people were supporting the idea around mental health, but because I knew this is what we

need it. Lately, things have become more mainstream because people are struggling one and and part of it is because we're in America and people are realizing they can make money off of people struggle, right, whether it's weight loss or or whatever, right, and so like they're realizing mental health is a big thing. So now you have all

of these things being pushed, these platforms. And I'm not knocking platforms or anything, but I think that some of it, fortunately is around making the goal is to make money and not to help people heal. But I do think it's a lot more mainstream, you know, because I think that, like you know, the general medical community is you know, it's kind of like insurance. The money is not in the cure. The money is in the taking, is in

the keeping of people, you know, making people just well enough. Right, it is not about wellness. It is about making sure that people are well enough so that you can continue working. That's I mean that like, that's that to me is

in all honesty, That's what the goal is. And the freedom I think that mental health, practicing and emotional well being, whether it is therapy, meditation, medication, and conjunction with all of those things, UM is about not is about freedom, right, the freedom like what what does it mean to live and exist and be well? Uh? And we're not We're not taught those things. And I believe that we're not

taught it for a reason. UM. And so you know when you look around now select and you see you know, there are a ton of apps, there are a ton of platforms. What do you think that people should steer towards right so as not to get caught up in the in the grind of capitalism and people trying, like you said, to profit off of your pain. What what are some of the markers of of UM assistance right in terms of apps and what have you that people

should look for. Yes, I love that question because I always tell people, Uh, if you know the things I talk about a lot, especially during the pandemic. I talk about our sleep routine, UM, moving our bodies and like the food we put in our bodies, like you work on controlling that because it was with a pandemic, we didn't know what was going on. And I said, if if they had commercials around this stuff, the little things that we can do, regardless of socioeconomic status, nobody's going

to get paid from it. That's why you don't see commercials that talk about, oh, are you depressed? Have you walked today? You see are you depressed? Take this medication? And it's not about me knocking medication, but it's about the trajectory and the way that America creates a system that makes you believe that in order for you to

be well, you have to purchase something. And anytime I talk about whether I'm talking to my clients or especially on social media, the tools that I deliver for people to think about doing are things that are right at their fingertips. A talk about like grabbing a notebook and writing down how you're feeling or listening to something. And so I would encourage people, if they are seeing things that they don't have access to, to not feel defeated. Look at what they do have and look at what

is available to them. And fortunately, a lot of times our mind isn't really solution focused in that way, because whether we're talking about mental health or the next iPhone, there's this system that we allow ourselves to be attached to that makes us believe that we need more and more, or we need this in order to be okay, when that's just not the case. You know. I will tell

you that I entered into therapy. It must be five years ago, maybe it's five or six years ago, and I had been in with my ex wife in couples therapy, which had been my first real foray into therapy, and then I decided that I really wanted to have you know, therapy one on one. And I will tell you that for me and I talk about it all the time, it has been one of the most empowering and I opening relationships that I've had to deepen the relationship that

I have with myself. Yeah, and to really understand my patterns right the good as well as those that I would like to shift, and you know, and recognizing that you know that unless we honestly make the decisions to truly heal, what hurts right that all we are are walking around as open wounds, meeting other open wounds, and I and and and and not really being in relationship in a way that allows us to be a healed

person connecting with another healed person. What do you say to people who still have a negative connotation or understanding of what therapy is and what it is supposed to do? Because for me it was it's not a fix, all right, It's more of like, I'm deciding to go on this adventure of understanding who I am, so I understand better how I show up. But how do you express it to people? So when I went into private practice in twenty fifteen, I start to understand that therapy wasn't as accessible.

I had a great experience with my first therapist. It sounds like you did as well, But I mean, my insurance change and my therapist doesn't take my insurance. I'm paying two hundred dollars a session. Who can afford that for therapy? So I first want to say, even though I believe in therapy, I also know that with the way this system works and the finances of what it

costs to pay for therapy, it's not always accessible. If you do have access, right, if your first time doesn't work, try not to look at it as if it's a done deal, because every therapist different every style is different, and I tell people to look at it like you're trying on new shoes. It's not like the medical like the you go see a PCP. I don't mind if I have to see a different PCP because I'm not

getting intimate details. I'm not being vulnerable. But in therapy, building that relationship takes time, and so you want to be comfortable with the person that you are seeing. And like Danielle is saying, the amount of self awareness you get because you gotta understand we're in the picture where this is. I mean, I can't see outside of the picture. So having if Danielle's my therapist, having her like be like, oh, actually, over,

if you turn right, you'll actually see it. And I'm like, oh, yeah, you're right. And as much knowledge as I have the therapist that I has have, he creates this awareness that I'm like, oh yeah, I didn't see it from that angle. And I'm a very self aware of person. So if you do have the ability to have a therapist, I think it's great, And I just want to encourage people not to look at it as a one size fits

all or I have a therapist and that's it. But you got to look at the other things you're doing outside of therapy. Yeah, I've had people say that therapy I like your analogy of trying on shoes. People have said therapy is like dating, right. You know, you know, some people are very fortunate on the first date that they go on, they you know, they meet the person that they're that they want to be with. There are other people that, you know, they need to continue dating

and until they find the right fit. And so that to me, UM was also a really good uh analogy, because you don't just say oh, well, I'm done, especially hey like I'm finished, you know, I'm I'm ana walk around barefoot. That's not that's not what we're doing here, UM. And so I I I love that because I think that for a lot of people it helps um take down the anxiety a bit of what it is that they think, um it is, versus how it ends up

working out. But I want to ask you this, you know, and we talked about this a little bit at the top, and I want to dig in deeper now, which is, you know, for the past two plus years, so lest we have been living inside of one trauma after another. I listened to a therapist on I think it was a morning show that said that what we are experiencing is compacted or compounded excuse me, trauma. Where you started

out with the instability of our government. On top of that, you added in COVID, then you added in a series of you know, COVID, more instability, anger, rage. Now we have monkey pocks, right, they are shootings on a regular basis. Now that we're back in society, there is there's climate change and climate disaster that is happening. You know, whether you're underwater or on fire, or can't breathe because the

aerosop louted. It's one thing after another. People are I mean, we're seeing I just watched the other day this road rage incident that was absolutely insane, right, Like it was a turned into like almost vehicular homicide in terms of what the reactions from the people. So everyone is on edge, right, how do you talk to people about even trying to put a finger on what is causing them so much angst and anxiety? Right, because it's so much. It isn't

just one thing, it's a lot of different things. And so how are you guiding people, helping them navigate through these times? Yeah, great question. I believe that when we are in the moment, we can work on creating peace in our lives despite what's happening around us. But in order for that to happen, we have to uncover what's

going on. Earlier, you talked about the importance of healing and how you're not basically like you're essentially bleeding out and surviving life when you're not working on your healing process. And sometimes it can be like years and years of things to unpack. So it's not like when time sit down thing. So you got all your own trauma on top of the society stuff that's happening that we are impacted by that we're seeing on a regular basis. And so when I'm working with people, I am extremely big

on what's happening right now. What happens when there's like a trauma on top of trauma that has not been a processed. The emotion that you experience, if it's a familiar emotion, your system feels like it's back in that time, and you really feel like a victim. You really feel like you have no power, You really feel like there are no options, like you literally we feel stuck, especially if trauma took place as a young child, and as

a child, we didn't have options. And so when I'm working with adults, I am big on asking them how are they feeling and bringing up an emotion chart so they can look at it. And then I'm feeling this because not I am anxious, not I am sad, I

feel sad. I feel anxious because there's something powerful about being able to name what you are feeling and also talk about why it's happening, because then your mind can be like, oh, okay, we're not ten, it's not this traumatic thing anymore because that emotion is so familiar to us. And so the more we begin to unpack and like get into the nitty gritty, like I feel anxious because like I don't have a job, I don't know where my next meal is coming from. It doesn't change the

fact that you don't have your next meal. But then I can try to get into a solution mode to plan for it. Maybe I can look and see if there's any pantries, maybe I can borrow it. But it's hard to get into solution focus mode when you're just like I'm anxious, and then that's it. So your system and your mind is like Okay, I guess we're anxious to less. That's what we're doing. Our mind is believing what we tell what would tell it what we tell it,

whether we're in tune with our thoughts or not. And so for me and what I talk to people about is being intentional about your day to day. So I'm big on paying attention to what I expose myself to visually, like what I listen to. I'm mindful of starting my day with me, even though like I have a lot of privilege and where I'm at in society now, but I still have to be mindful on what I entertained

because my mind is listening. So unfortunately, there's all these thoughts and things that we're seeing and we don't even recognize that is what is controlling how we are feeling, and that's keeping us feeling like we're in a stuck place when we're not always stuck. We can create power, but we have to be able to tap into that. I love that, and I and I love your idea of starting your day with me because I do the

same thing. My phone goes on do not disturb, and until I've had the opportunity to meditate, it does not come off of do not Disturb. And I too, I too am very fortunate in the way that I have been able to structure my life and my days um where I'm able to you know, again, create space for myself in the mornings to be able to acclimate to my day, to check in with myself, and then I'm

able to um enter into the day. And I actually I feel the difference if I if I start the day and I am not as mindful as I would

like to be, I feel it throughout the day. And so it's just like for me, I understand, you know, the money and the privilege that is attached to being you know, sadly if you do not have insurance, that is it hatched to being able to be in therapy, which is why I often say there are so many free meditation apps where if nothing else, you know, start your day with some form of peace, you know, start your day with journaling, and then turn that into you know,

if it's a guided meditation or some peaceful music or something, but carve out that space to book end your day. And I'm telling you, after a week, you will feel different. Oh my god, Danielle is not lying. And even with my apps to have a limit on my apps. I have at ten thirty my phone goals on do not disturb. There are a lot of because people will say social media is creating this, or this is creating this. It's like, actually, when you think about your choices, you actually have choices,

but you're not exercising them. YouTube. I use this breathing circle. There's this app. But then if the app is like a fifty dollars or something a year, I don't tell my clients to go get the app. I say, go on YouTube. If you type and breathe and start, there's a two minute thing. Some people even have the watches that can do the same thing. And so there are all these little things in our lives that we can

create space for. And I work with people that don't have the financial means or the time, and I say, you know what, give yourself fifteen minutes early before you get the kids up or before you go to work. Don't roll. Don't roll out of bed into work, because all you're doing is like putting all of your energy outward. You're not getting anything back, and you're trying to figure out why you're depleted. It's like, what have you done?

Lately for yourself. And so a lot of times people will say like, I can't find time, and I'm really big on changing their language to saying how do I create time? Because a lot of these people that can't find time are actually doing so much for other people and don't even recognize that there's time in the day. I say, look at your social media time spent on the look on your phone and see how long you've been on social media, and then tell me you can't

create time. And so a lot of times it's about really taking accountability and using what you have starting where you are. When I get up from my six am gym class, I don't feel like waking up at five to do it, but I know like in order for me to be okay, I need to move my body. And so a lot of times there's some sacrifices that we have to create, but it creates for a better day.

And so that's something that's important for people to understand. Well, I love all of that because I you know, my mother, who is a yogi where I talk about often says that you can't pour from an empty cup, right, So this idea of martyrdom, this idea of you know, continual sacrifice and somehow you know you'll you'll get it back. On the other side, it's just like, well, what are you doing now right for yourself? And you're right, it

isn't about like I don't have time. It's about looking at your time differently, right, And I think that mornings for me are that time, and evenings as well are that time to really know either think about you know, what's transpired through the day and give myself grace and peace and like what am I grateful for, like closing my day with like, you know, just simply I am in gratitude, uh, you know, for for the day, for waking up, for the conversations that I've had, X, Y

and Z. But for me, it has been and it was COVID. It was it was honestly it was. It was the beginning of COVID. It was quarantine. And it has been since then, the last two plus years, that I've been the most intentional about my you know, my emotional, mental, spiritual, uh and physical well being. And I think that no one else is going to be in charge of that but you so you have to take charge in some way. And I just want to make a point when Danielle said,

since COVID, you know, we were forced to pause. And so because some people were able to take that pause and you were able to like really create that space for yourself and that mindset shifting, and unfortunately some it felt like hell of because they've never done that. So I'm not saying so my point is that creating intentional pauses is important even though life is still moving. Not

the same as quarantine. Just creating that pause, even if it's for five minutes, if you're not used to pausing, just give yourself five minutes, set the time or for five minutes and pause the little. The more you build up that space, the more your mind starts to fall in line. Right now, a lot of people, our minds are in survival mode and surviving life and living life

looks completely different. And in order to really get out of that cycle of just living in survival mode, you got to really create space to like really check in and see what's going on with yourself. Beautiful. So last I hope that you will take the time to join us again. I have loved this conversation and I feel like people need it more and more. And if this is folks, if this is your first foray, I encourage you to go check out Celest the Therapist podcast. So

let's tell people where they can find you. Yeah, so you can find me on all podcasting platforms. If you go to my website celest the Therapist dot com, there's links there. And all I do is I talk to people that are doing things to empower other people by sharing this story, and you will hear Danielle's story on the podcast, which is exciting. So thank you so much, Thank you so much. We appreciate you and hope that you will join us again soon. That is it for

me today. Dear friends on Woke a f as always power to the people and to all the people. Power, get woke and stay woke as fuck.