Heavy Backpack of Sadness

the show. And so first Step today, I am very happy to welcome back to wok F Daily the executive director of Glisten, Melanie Willingham Jaggers and Glisten is an organization that has been near and dear to my heart for quite some time because, as a former educator in the school system, Glisten creates curriculums and puts together their instruction for schools, administrations and students who are LGBTQ and

their allies. And at a time when there is an unsafe environment that has been created for LGBTQ kids, particularly our trans youth, Glisten's work is more important than ever. And so in this two part kind of back to back episodes where first Step, we're going to talk to Melanie and then we're going to talk to the chair of the Glisten board, actor and friend of mine, Wilson

Cruz tomorrow. So first step listen to this conversation with Melanie about what Glisten has been doing during this time of great strife, grief, anxiety and pain for our LGBTQ youth with her work at Glisten. Folks, I am very excited, I believe to welcome back after a very long time, I think, Melanie, I'm thinking that we have not spoken since you got the job.

fire in a life of ways. Because I don't think that we've seen the type of attacks on schools that you have been presiding over probably since the late nineteen sixties. So how have you been doing and what like what have you been experiencing as you've taken over this role the last few years.

Things have been things have been happening. And here's the I think here's the top line, and then then also maybe it's the bottom line as well, is that schools are the education as a process is the cornerstone of a democracy, right, And if we are to ever have democracy, if we ever have a country that delivers on the promises right that we are all kind of operating under, education is that cornerstone. We have to have people who come into participation in our democracy who have education about

the reality of the world around them. That's like true history, true science, a realistic understanding of the world right with the phenomena are in the world, so they can come into their full citizenship and participate. Right. So that's you know, we may have forgotten that Bill Hooks told us, John Dewey told us, Right, education democracy has to be born

anew every generation, and education is its midwife. Right, So we know that, but turns out the ops do too, right, And so part of what we the way that I want to encourage us all to understand this moment, is that the attacks on education, the ways in which classrooms have become frontlines for the assaults on democracy, the way that teachers right are being pit against parents for the future, like really around who is educating? Who is their children?

Who is who are educ who is educating the children of our country? This is a you know, the nice way to put it and the euphemistic way to put it is a culture war, right, But what this really is is an anti democratic attack on the future, on our collective future, right, because they are insisting on miseducating

our children. So that's like part one of it, right, And what we know is that what authoritarians do, what fascists do, what Christian nationalists do, what white supremacists do, come after people of color, They come after queer and gender diverse people, and they come after children. Right, That's a primary technique, right of this project, which is colonial

and genocidal in nature. And so we have to understand actually that the attacks on classrooms, teachers, students, schools is really about an anti democratic vision of the future for our country, and their power is consolidating, right, and we as advocates for young people, advocates for education, advocates for trans, queer, non binary kids, it's our work that is right at the center of their bulls eye of what it will take who to undermine in order to advance their vision

without any without any resistance, or with less resistance and less friction. So you know, we just out here fighting for democracy, fighting for the future that we all deserve, and for the future that our country has long promised.

the opposition has always seen education. I mean, you can look at Moms for Liberty and their quote of Hitler that they put up on their chapter page talking about if you own the children, you own the future. Right, So why is it Why does it seem as if we're playing catch up to something that we knew back in the fifties was so important.

We've been in an education reform moment for a long time, and I think that what education reform did and does is put the deficit, put the onus on the child, on the learner. Right. What we have to understand actually is our education system is deeply broken. So just to go, you know, talking to a fellow policy nerd, just ago nerd for a second. We often think about school boards right in school districts, and we often think about the

school system. But similarly to like when before marriage equality was the law of the land, right when you could be married in Massachusetts but not married in Pennsylvania, even though you're the same two people crossing state lines. Similarly with our and we have fifty states, right, Similarly with our kids policies, they're basic rules of the road, right that are federal requirements, guidelines, et cetera. And then there's so much that is handed to localities for them to control.

And so what we don't have is an education system. We have sixteen thousand education systems. So you know, like the school around the corner from me up here in Harlem, New York, is different from it's the same school system. It's the same school system, right, but it's different in the teachers that are teaching kind of in the policies et cetera, than the school up the street and around

the corner of Frederick Douglass Academy. Right, So there's a way in which our kids don't actually have a promise of consistent education across the board. And that's even within one district. Now, God help us that we have sixteen thousand districts, many some of whom are run by folks who are progressive, who have their you know, have their eye on the prize, who know that learners need to be safe in their minds and their hearts and in

their bodies in order to learn. And they are building these incredible school leaders, are building education systems to teach the babies right. And then in other districts, right, fools of fools are in charge right where they are limiting history and you know, denying science and you know, making the world smaller and smaller, so that the kids that come out of those districts are less and less prepared to deal with the world as it is right to

navigate it successfully. And so I think that where we are at is that to your point, we absolutely have taken our ball, our eye off the ball around education's core. Uh. Education is a core component of democracy. We've lost the We've lost the thread there and long have because we for so long, for about thirty years, right, have been putting the onus on kids, saying, oh, these kids are behind. Oh these kids lost lost some learning over the summer.

Oh we'll be cutting funding and we'll be breaking teachers unions, and we'll be privatizing public responsibility and privatizing public wealth in the form of private schools, et cetera. But it's the kids who are really the problem. Right, So what we are in need of now is a new and refreshed understanding for this moment. That's really about not taking our eye off the ball when it comes to building a democracy for the future. And you know, here's the thing.

Sometimes you realize things too late. Right, our democracy is under attack, and it's been under attack for a long time. And so you know is are we are? We in a position where we have the local will and the runway right to write the ship. And that's what So that's what me and so many other folks are are both fighting to turn the ship but also fighting to beat the cloud.

several feet every every generation, every few years. And I wonder in your thinking, in the way that we have had schools be the battleground that we know what the opposition is doing, how do you see resistance and the way that we've been resisting different or how we need to change, you know, our thinking, because I just don't think that trying to block a thing is enough. It's what are we creating? Right that I don't think that just and this is again me, I don't think that

just screaming at the opposition is enough. I think that it is what are we dreaming about?

we want. And as I just said, right, we have to think we have to begin thinking beyond the kind of reform moment of education where young people, their parents, their poor communities, et cetera, and their poor broke schools quote unquote are the problems and understand that actually we have a collective responsibility to ensure that every kid in our country is educated and prepared to participate fully and build for the first time, by the way, a multi

racial democracy that includes us. All Right, that's the vision, that's where we're going. And I think that, you know,

here's what. Here's also another thing that I'll say, which is we're finally in a for a very long time since since desegregation, what has happened is that you know, black folks, women and felms, people who are poor, working class and low income have been decisions have been made about them and us without there and our voices at the table right, we've been kind of patted on the head and say, hey, you know, we appreciate your stories,

but actually we know better and actually maybe you're the problem. And I think that in this moment, what we're seeing is both a deep and widespread transition of leadership where there are more people who are coming from impacted communities

in decision making roles. And so we actually have a full understanding, not just the not just the brain smarts, the book smarts, but like the heart knowledge, the body knowledge, the fact that we have wherever we are right, we still have family and friends who are who are where we came from, right. And so there's a way which we have a holistic understanding of how these systems work, how these systems don't work, and what the fixes are for them. And so so yeah, that's what I would offer.

Let me know if I if I answer your question.

we want for all kids. You know how I keep thinking about young queer people, queer students when Florida was taking down their rainbow stickers out of their classrooms, and their safe place, these safe place stickers out of their classrooms is you know, share with us some of the things that lgbt Q kids have been met with in their classrooms. And you know, for many school was a safe space, right Like maybe they're not accepted at home, but that teacher, that coach was the one that saw them,

and now by seeing them can lose their jobs. So I just want you to be able for the audience to have some under real life understanding of the stories that you're hearing.

how human animals work, It's how life works. And so you know what we are seeing A couple of things would I would say here, One, it's a universal law that kids fail when you put barriers in front of them. Kids fail when you withdraw and remove and ban and outlaw support. And so what we're seeing is children failing right in terms of school attendance, in terms of mental health well being. Wh y'all come back to right in terms of in terms of grades, in terms of learning,

we can't learn. We feel like we are in danger. We can't learn. You feel like we are abandoned. We can't learn. We're hungry, right, we can't learn when we are hurting. And so and I'll come back to the

hurting in a second. Right, But like if we understand and teachers do understand this, what is necessary for kids to succeed and for kids to learn, How absurd is it that actually parents whose job it is to love and support and raise whole human beings are being pitted against the folks in the only system in our society that is intended only for care education. Right, it's not

intended for punishment, it's not intended for anything else. Right, is literally only supposed to teach and so poor children and somehow, right the holders of that system are being pitted against. And I think both in false opposition. But then also there are some deeply cynical and unloving and unfit parents that are actually coming at education and educators

knowing full will. What they're doing, right, what they want to do is create a world that's smaller for their kids than the one that they live in as parents. That's like part one. Part two is the incredibly deep mental health crisis that we are in the middle of right now. And I say we, not young people. I say we as a collective, right, we can name the multiple crises that are happening right now that are stacking upon, interlocking between, right, compounding down on all of us. And

we are adults. Right, We've got optimismy, We've got income, right, We've got discretionary income. If we're lucky, we can choose what to do with our time. For the most part, we can choose our coping mechanisms. Right, there's a way in which we have a level of autonomy and self direction in this moment, and even we aren't okay, And so what about a five year old? What about a ten year old? What about a thirteen year old? What

about an eighteen year old? Right? And so what we And I'll just zoom in here for a moment to share this statistic that continues to break my heart every time I think about it. So, we've lost over a million people from the coronavirus pandemic right here in this country.

And while the policy wise, government wise, business wise, the pandemic is over for those listening I'm doing air quotes, the pandemic is over of while that is, while that is true based on the policy realities and how everyone is acting, right, what is what we also know is that folks have been permanently marked by this pandemic. And so here's one here's one statistic as an example, which is seven out of ten children who lost a parent

or caregiver during COVID. So, right, seven out of the ten kids whose parents or caregivers died during the coronavirus pandemic. Seven of those ten young people are Black, Indigenous and LATINX seventy And so forget everything else for a second, right, forget the deep economic trouble that folks are in that working people, you know, despite working one and two jobs, don't have enough money to like, you know, to make

the ends meet. Forget for a second, you know, the deep insecurity and both and like the lack of safety that people feel moving through their communities and moving through

moving through the streets. Just understand that seventy percent of the kids who lost their parents during COVID or black and brown, right, and like the deep heartbreak of that, right, the deep trauma, the deep sadness, and so what that looks like in the five and like what that looks like for me, right, for as a person who didn't lose a parent or caregiver, who's in my forties, who's lost dozens of people in this pandemic, dozens of people who I know and love to COVID. I'm I'm grown,

I'm grown, and I'm carrying around a heavy backpack of sadness. Right. Yeah, So when we're talking about how are kids doing, not good because none of us are doing good, right, But the thing is is that we're also they're not. They're not doing good, and they don't have people who are listening to them and as a result, building systems and putting supports up and around them to help them be better. Because actually, no one's doing good and no one is

focused on being better. We're grinting our teeth right, we're girding our loins, and we're putting our head down and we're moving on for some reason without attending to the real heartbreak and sadness and trava that we've all experienced. So all this is say, kids aren't. No one's doing okay, and young people who have fewer tools and discretion and

autonomy are doing less well. Now, put on top of all that, like you're queer right, or your gender expansive or your trands and again, great on you if you've got to, if you've got to support a parent. And there are parents out there who love their kids right, who understand it's their job to to love and support their child and to meet their kid anew at every single developmental age, and believe them, believe that right for who what they are told? What the kid chooses to

tell them about themselves. Then there are other parents who who insist that actually it's better that my child not exists then then be different than what I tell them to be and so. And it's those parents, sadly, who are who are the ones who are taking over school boards. It's those parents who are taking who are challenging books quote unquote and getting books that would support their young person, support other young people seeing themselves or seeing people like

their friends in literature and curriculum. It's those parents whould rather have a dead kid than a trans adult, right who are pushing this political agenda at the school, at the school board level.

dangerous to be an advocate. To be out for a community that is targeted. Right to stand up for children has become dangerous. We've seen school board meetings turn violent, right, And so the last question for you is how can people that are listening find solace and even a balm in being able to support LGBTQ kids in this moment Because I often find that moving outside of myself in aid of others is one of the best avenues for healing.

And so what opportunities can you provide for people who are listening to connect to Glisten and the work that you're doing.

There's a need to be visible and vocal in our support of these children, because kids come here and they believe they know nothing about planet Earth or this thing that we are calling society. I'm also air quoting for people who are just listening. They don't know anything about this place, and they learn everything they know from the

people around them, from the adults around them. And whereas they might be hearing whether they're hearing supportive or not affirming things at home, whether they're in a school district, in a school classroom community and education community that affirms them or not. We want to make sure that they see that there are adults who see them, who celebrate them, who support them, and who are taking a stand to

advocate and rise up for them. So if you go to glistendt org slash rise up, you can sign the pledge there. It says that you pledge to advocate for young people, for queer young people and a rise up against hateful anti LGBTQ plus bills and rhetoric, and that will put you kind of in our system. We'll be put you'll be kept up to date on action alerts,

et cetera. If you scroll down to the bottom of the page, you'll see other people buy zip code who have taken the pledge, and so you'll actually understand how many people are out there just like you who are rising up for LGBTQ plus youth. So again glisten dot org slash rise up. The other thing I would offer is, you know, again back to my policy and data nerd bag, which is that we love a map, honey, we love it, interactive map, We love data. So listen is good for

Listen is good for data and information. If you go to maps dot glisten dot org you can see our mini featured maps. There's to rise Up proclamation, so you as individual can take the pledge to rise up for LGBTQ plus youth. You can also we also have sample language where you can download it and give it to your representative. That's the city council, that's a school board, that's a mayor, it's a governor, it's anybody in your state.

Let's slature to do the rise up proclamation to say that actually, we're going to govern with respect for the beauty and diversity of all of us and support LGBTQ plus young people. So there's a kind of a policy intervention there. And we also have other state level maps that give you various levels of information about like, hey, what does it look like for queer kids on the ground in this state? There are a couple of states that have you know, a perfect score seven out of seven.

There are some states, and I'll let your imaginations run wild about which ones those are that have negative scores. Right if the maximum is positive seven, there are places that have a negative seven rating. Right for what it is to be an LGBTQ plus kid in schools based on experience, their own experiences as well as the policies that support them. And so I would say, get informed, Go to maps at glisten dot org, get involved, sign

the Rise Up pledge and find people around you. We also have like super dope swag, we got a long signs, We've got bumper stick, We've got shirts. There's a whole merch line that's dropping in the fall, and so pick up your merch. If you got a yard, which I'm in New York City, nobody has a yard, but if a card, make sure to get a yard sign and put it out there and let everybody know, including young people who are who are always looking to us and to you for signals about who they can be. Are

you safe? Can they be their full selves? Get loud and get vocal and get visible in your support for queer kids.