92. Understanding Eid Al-Adha: A Primer for Beginners // Shahnila Ahmad

I'm so excited for today's episode because I have one of my favorite guests back, my friend Shanila Ahmad. She is here to walk us through one of the largest holidays celebrated by Muslims all over the world, Eid al-Adha. Some of you will remember Shanila from episode 23, where she helped us understand the holy month of Ramadan. If you haven't heard that one, go back and listen. It's really great.

Lately I've been paying more attention to how I actually feel and what I wear day to day. Like does this make getting dressed easier or harder? And I've been leaning into simple, elevated, comfortable, and quints keep showing up as the answer. You know I'm a huge fan of Quints. Their new spring collections are really working for me. I love Quints.

Thank you for having me. It's such a pleasure to be here and it's always a delight to talk to you. So I was born a Muslim. I was born actually in India. Okay. And my parents immigrated when I was five. And I've lived in Michigan and then now I live in Southern California and I've been a practicing Muslim and actually I was born Muslim so we have been um practicing and through the years, especially during college.

Yeah, they're not not the dominant faith. Well, I'm so glad you're on the show. I always love learning from you. I think the Ramadan episode, I've listened to it a few times now, and every time I take away some new insight. So I'm really grateful you're coming back to talk about Eid al-Adha with us.

Well one thing I would mention and start off with is that In Islam we have we have the lunar calendar and just like for Ramadan, it was the ninth of the lunar calendar, um Idl Adha it falls on the twelfth month. It comes from the month which is called Vilhaja. Vilhijja. So Dul Hijah is the month and the first ten days are sacred. So this month is sacred, the first ten days, and this is also coinciding with one of the pillars of our faith, which is going to Hajj to make the pilgrim.

That's right. Okay. So then so eid al Adha is important not just for the day itself, but for the ten days leading up to id al Adha. Is that right? Yeah.

Yeah. So it's one of the sacred months and it falls on one of the sacred months and This is a month which is has been sacred through time. It's been sacred before Islam came to this pagan area. and pilgrimage is something that even pagans did. Mm. And so This is a time where we a lot of people go to fulfill that rite. So we have some family members who may go to make that pilgrimage and they start off with the first day of

Okay. So if I'm getting this right, there's ten there's ten days before the actual festival of Eid al Adha, is that right? Yes. And what do you do on the ten days leading up to it, whether you're at Hodge or at home. I'm sure they differ a little bit. Can you explain that to us?

Well one of the things that I'll tell you that that kind of is like the underlying theme of this holiday is uh Prophet Abraham. So we say Ibrahim and so Prophet Ibrahim and his willing willingness to sacrifice his son. So this is the backdrop, this is the backstory of the whole holiday and also when people go to Hajj, they their activities, the rituals that we do, it's really based around that theme.

Can you tell that story as though somebody who might not know it at all?

Yeah. So I think this is something, you know, this is a monotheistic religion that we share with Christians and Jews. And the story that we say that it is it is in our Quran is that um Prophet Ibrahim He had his wife. And this is not Sarah. I think in the Bible it talks about Sarah. And this is um for us, he was not able to have children, so he married Hadir. And Roger um had a baby. Of course he didn't wanted a son. He wanted a child so badly. And when he finally has a a son, um then

Right. Yeah.

He actually goes to his son and says, This is a dream that I had and he goes, Father, y y of course you're gonna do this. That's fine. So he takes him somewhere and then he puts something over him so he doesn't have to see that and he wants to sacrifice, but right then it's replaced by An animal. And then he sacrifices that animal. And it was just a test to see if he would, what would he do for God?

Okay, so it's a test of sacrifice. Yes. That if he would sacrifice his son and his son, if I'm correct me if I'm wrong, his son is Ishmael, is that right?

I smile, yeah.

Ismael. um is old enough to be able to speak to his father. Yeah. Right? It's not like he's a little baby. Yeah.

Gracias.

And so he's able to have this conversation with his father Ibrahim Ibrahim. Mm-hmm. And And instead of being sacrificed at like the moment that it would be done, an animal comes. Like God provides an animal, is that right? Yes.

Yes. And so he replaces them with an animal and then de sacrifices them.

Mm. Like the personal application to your own life now.

Yes, exactly. And how those sacrifices when it is aligned with the right purpose, then it's a benefit for the Sometimes we as kids are younger, we have to sacrifice um our time outside to be studying for a test. That's a sacrifice. Right. If we wanna get fit we can't have like ten pieces of cake. That's a sacrifice.

Right.

Right. Yeah, so there's sacrifices in our life that we always have these choices. You know, and sometimes they're both hard, but it's like pick your heart, you know, we hear that a lot. Mm-hmm. So this is a sacrifice this is and also and why did he do that? Because to him, his commitment to God Mm-hmm. And I think this is something that, you know, what some people may believe in God and some people don't. But really knowing who is God to you.

That's true.

And personally for me, I feel like as people, we're not perfect. We have flaws, we have shortcomings, and we're gonna disappoint somebody somewhere along the line in life, right? We're not perfect.

Yeah. Bye.

But God he is perfect. And he is there for for us. It's not like, oh, I had a bad day, I'm sorry. He's always there for us, he's always listening, he's always there and And as people, as species, we are somebody who wants to be heard and seen and valued. Mm-hmm. And sometimes another person can't always do that for us. But I feel like I when I developed my relationship with God, then I feel that because he is the all-hearing and all seeing and all knowing, that I'm gonna be attached to him.

Yeah, and you know, I'm thinking about this this story, right, of Ibrahim and

And I'm thinking about the concept, the the application of this, because you're bringing up so many different angles that play into it, right? Like there's just so many personal applications that that go with it. And Hajar and the sacrifice that she had to make. It sounds like there throughout this

Now it's obviously it's because of technology, you know, there isn't really a hill anymore, but it's a marble air conditioned inside kind of thing where it's

Really?

And then there are um small fountains and everywhere where you can get the water. So they've really modernized the whole system so it's not really just a well.

Okay.

Yes, yes. So it's a right. Yes. And there's actually there's a lot of studies that were done on that water. What it has and all the and so it has healing power. It's a lot of people bring it back too and give it to family and friend friends.

How interesting. So we know that part.

Yeah. They love to get that water.

So your family members who are there, are they planning to bring some back?

Yes.

Okay. So after th that's one of the rituals. Could you maybe explain some of the other rituals that that go into it?

Well one of the days they go up to um a mountain. And it's the day before it's like almost It's the day before Edel Adha, and it's called Day of Arifa. And a day of RFI is really now fast forward to the story, not of this Prophet Ibrahim, but coming to the time of the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him. He only performed Hajwan. And this was a er this was a time where he went up he was there and he was giving the last sermon.

Okay.

And that's still it's the day before and This is a day where it is told to us that um our we repent on this day, we worship, we ask God. We just it's really one on one time with God. and your past sins of the year and your future sins are forgiven of the following year. And so it's really a deeper connection. And this is a time where the last sermon was read and, you know, certain things in that last sermon were how every man

On day of Arafa.

Yeah. So the first ten days of the month, it's said to be the best days of the year. So it's not just Edel uh you know, Eid al Adha is just like a celebration of this, but um of the sacrifice of the ram. And that day we do that. But these ten days leading up to it, these are the best days of the And then the night and then the the ninth day it's actually the day of Arafa, which is the day it is the climax of everything. So

The cleansing day almost like the cleansing of the soul. Am I getting that right?

Yeah, you could you could think of it as that day. We fast that day. We we're probably taking time off to really do some deep reflection. Okay. And a major part of these days is really gratitude. It's um giving back, doing good deeds. And this is something that's I feel like it's beautiful because God dedicated these ten days to us to do the most good that we can because they're the best days of the year. Hm imagine

All right.

Something that we can do every single day to be more intentional about taking advantage of these because it's so important. And it's such a opportunity because I mean, nowadays you know all these re all this research that's around gratitude. That's about how when you're giving back and you're helping. community the community that you're and you're serving, then it makes you happier and healthier and then mental health is better. So there's all these research now that we see. Right.

Really long time.

Yeah.

We knew this before it was researched.

Yeah. So it's such a blessing for us and one of the differences between the Eidul Adha and Ramadan, because I think it kind of we kinda think of Ramadan as like the sacred month too and we're fasting every day. Um But it's done more in the community. So every night we would go to prayer. Well with idulatha or dil hijjah, those ten days. We're a lot of it is reflection.

I love that. That's so meaningful.

So that day, just very similar to Edelfitter that we talked about the end of the Ramadan. So we wear best clothes, we'll go to the mosque and there's a special prayer and a sermon. So we'll and it's called a chutbag and it's usually done after the So after the prayer, um we listened to the Imam and

Bye.

In the US especially, they are like my dad goes some some years. But my husband doesn't go because he doesn't um want to see all the blood and everything.

So you don't have to participate.

Yeah, not actively.

Yes, I don't know.

Yeah. But what we do what you can do instead is that you can give that money and for someone else to do it. You can and or you can send it overseas. So some s uh we have some family in India or Pakistan. So we'll send it to my aunt and say, Can you give it to somebody to do it on behalf of us, for us?

Oh yeah.

So that's what my husband Okay. And so some people do that and some people actually do it there. And so that whole animal is taken and then there it's distributed. among family and also the poor and needy. So and some people might say, Well, I don't really eat that much meat or I don't need it. But I really want to give it more to those who are in need.

Gotcha. So if I'm getting this right, it in one animal per family, is that correct? Not one animal per person.

Yeah it's not prepared. Per person You could do it per person, you know, but adults, you know, you could do it per person. And sometimes depending on how much it is, you might do more, but at least to one animal. I see.

And that's again in sym that's symbolism to um Ibrahim Sacrificing the animal in that that came came and showed up at the last minute when he was about to sacrifice his

Yeah, exactly. And so

Symbolic gesture of I'm willing to sacrifice something For God. Is that right? Yes.

And here adding on to it is that helping those who are leaning.

Gotcha.

Yes. Yeah. And you know, this um so the day usually the prayer usually happens a little bit earlier and so then everybody can get to the farm. And you know, if there's a lot of people, there's a line and so usually the rest of the family members might be waiting at home. And then after that they'll come and cook the meat in in other countries. They the men will probably just go to there's certain countries where women don't go to the mosque, it's only the men who are required to.

Oh, I can only imagine. Yeah. So I'm curious about from the United I want to talk about it from a couple of different perspectives, if you're all right with this. Yeah. In the United States This farm that you're talking about, is this a farm that's run by a Muslim family, or is this somebody who partners with the mosque to work with families during Eid al Adha? How does that work in a non-Muslim majority country?

So they are farms that they either contract with or they're butchers with or they talk to the butchers saying this is what we're gonna do. So they're all over the country. So they're I don't I think I know one farm that is Muslim owned, but majority of them aren't.

Okay.

And so they just contract with them. Families, individual families do, um not necessarily the mosque themselves.

I see.

Because not every um member of the fa uh not every family is going to actually do this physically.

Oh I see. Oh right,'cause you can send money to have someone else do it. I see.

A lot of times people do that. And the the thing is the difference between Edelfitter and Edelata is because of the time that it takes to go, there's like a gap. So some people just take a half day off at work'cause if it's on a weekday. They might say, Okay, well, you know, I'll just go for the prayer and then I'll go have breakfast with my family, but then I'll go back to work. It's not like we're sacrificing an animal and that's gonna take the whole day.

Just because of the the nature of the country in which you live. You have to adapt and adjust.

Yeah. So Edelfitter, I feel like definitely people will take the whole day off and it'll be a full day celebration. They're exchanging gifts, they're going to each family and friends house and there's different people doing potlucks and I feel like Edeladha isn't as that as that.

Right.

Personally I toy with it.

Internal.

Yes. I toy with that because I'm like, you know, I really want Eid al Adha to be special for the kids. But then I realized that, you know, what we do make special is the first ten days of the hijah because those are the best days of the year. And then we have the day of Arifa, which is like the pinnacle of that. And then the next day we get to celebrate.

Gotcha. It's like it yeah, I see what you mean. It's like the celebration at the end that kind of like Edel Fitcher but a little bit different like we talked about. But it's like the feast, it's the getting together, it's the communal part. That's the Edel Adha part. But not to forget the first ten days. That's the biggest thing I'm learning.

Yeah, that I think those that is what I'm most excited about and that's what I'm prepping for. Gotcha. And so those ten days I don't wanna waste my time. I wanna I wanna just maximize time maximize my time. So like some of the things that I do to prepare is like get our clothes ready for E Dalata like before all of Like I don't wanna go shopping during those days where it's supposed to be more spiritual.

Right. A sacred holy time. We're gonna treat this differently.

Yes, it's different. Yeah. But Eidol Atha And in every family may do it differently, and some families I know they go all out as much as Edil Fitter. But personally the way it we grew up in our family, um in Edilfiter we would exchange gifts, but Edil Adha we don't. I see.

Okay.

Okay. You know.

Yeah. No, I have a I have another quick question for you. We've talked about it in the United States, but in a Muslim majority country where everybody is practicing Id al or the majority I should say are practicing Eid al Adha. I'm assuming days are off. The holidays it's a holiday. Yeah. And that those farms are

Yeah, definitely.

Yeah, I'm just putting this together.

anywhere else. But from what I hear and now you have YouTube where people are probably vlogging about their day, Eidal Adha Day. Yeah. Yeah.

We can see it a lot clearer than we could have, you know, twenty years ago. Definitely. Right. Right. Okay. Awesome. I love hearing about about this. So when somebody is in h or is doing HUD. they do the Eid al Adha at during the Hajj in Mecca. Is that different than is is it all the same components? It's just in a different location with a lot more people, or is there something special that happens during Hajj for Eid al Adha?

d they're continuing their rituals that they do for Okay actually twenty years ago. It's really um sentimental because then I'm remembering what I did. And every year it just comes back to me.

Yeah, what did you

And there's a ritual that we do during Idolata that day. And the three day is it's a three day ritual, you do it every day. And it is um when Prophet Ibrahim was going to sacrifice his son, then Satan, or Shait we say Shaitan, was whispering, saying, What are you doing? You know, just like he does to all of us.

Oh Ibrahim Ibrahim did this.

So in this this area that they are gonna be in Idhaj, um, there's three pillars. There's small, medium, and large, like long towers. And you take stones there and then you throw seven stones. It's a one day you throw it at the smaller one, medium one. And it's really conquering your desires, conquering um Satan whispering evil things. trying to purify yourself and you're getting rid of these negativity.

Gotcha. And this is done in the first ten days. These this three day ritual.

This is done at Hajj during the day of Idulata. That would be for us.

Oh during the day.

Yeah. So there's um I'll send you in more information that you could probably put on there that you could.

I will absolutely share anything you give me, any links in the show notes. We'll share it on Patreon, in the email.

I'm glad you asked me that because that is really important to address and this is something that I find to be most beautiful about my religion. Islam has a very high ethical standard. in doing the whole sacrifice and also in the way animals are treated. It is just not a moral thing for us. It's really religious and a legal obligation, you know, like just an obligation for us to take care of animals, to take along with all of God's creation.

Okay. So do they cover the animal's eyes with handkerchiefs or or cover it cover their eyes?

I d I'm not sure. In some places. They have a different area that they what I have seen is that they had a different area. So it's not like say you're standing in line with each animal and the animal it's it's in line and it's seeing the other one get sacrificed. That doesn't happen. It's usually a different room. You just go in there and you do it really quick. And these and you have to do it in a specific place.

Yeah, that's a good thing.

Really, really important for us to to abide by. And we while we're doing it, we say it in the name of God.

Okay, so there's a ritual um is there some a sort of prayer that goes with the actual sacrifice?

Uh yeah, we'll just we have to make sure that we say it and we'll say it like in the name of God and then we would do that.

sacrifice the animal. And this is called the sacrifice itself. It's called Kur Kurbani, is that right?

Yes.

That's the

That we're talking about is called Purbanni. in certain places that's when we you know, you'll say that, Oh, I'm gonna go do the kurbani where I'm gonna take the meat and then I'm gonna distribute it all of

Gotcha. So I'm curious when you talk about the third one third going to yourselves, another going to relatives and and others around you. And then a third going toward those in need. How is that determined? Do you yourself deliver those three third those thirds or is the last third given to the mosque and then the mosque distributes it or how is that last third distributed?

So it could be through the mosque. So some people do that. And sometimes what happens is that Personally when like my dad has done it, he's given it to one person whom I know somebody.

I see. So it's it's a spike a relational thing.

Is it something yeah, and sometimes it's not because we don't know who's struggling and who's not. And sometimes for their own dignity, because every human deserves that human dignity, that they don't wanna be put on the spot and saying, Okay, well I'm taking this.

Right. You don't want to be no one wants to be someone else's project, right? Like I I love that I love that quiet the Quiet dignity in that. I really like that. Yeah.

Or we may ask somebody at the mosque, you know, can we give it to you or is there a place that we can distribute? And there are nonprofit organizations that also take it and then they distribute.

I see. Okay. Yeah. So there's a sist there's a system that that there's a variety of different options that go along with it.

Okay. And the you know, and sometimes one of my husband's aunts, she always likes to do it. So I always expect her like a doorbell to ring and be like, Oh, here's some meat, you know? And so that's always nice to get that.

I love that. I'm curious about the the foods and the feast that comes with Eid al Adha. Are there traditional foods that everybody eats or is it based off of, you know, where you come from and your your location?

Yeah, definitely where you come from and your location and um

What are some of your favorites that you grew up with or you or you practice with your family?

You know, um my parents would make liver. Okay. And they would saute it in a special way. And so I only like that. No, my husband and my kids don't like that.

What kind do you mind me asking what animal we're talking about for the liver? Okay, usually a goat. Yeah.

He does a goat and so he sautes the liver and I mean it's supposed to be good for you, but none of my fam my immediate my kids, my husband, they don't like it. But that is something that my dad always makes. Gotcha. And so that's that's the only thing that I can think of. But I know other families they have their own or um we I'll take the beef and I'll make it in rice.

Yeah. I'm curious for Id al Adha, if I'm getting this right, there is the prayer in the morning. That's usually pretty early at the mosque, right? And it's a very specific prayer. And then there's the kurbani, the sacrifice, animal sacrifice. Then there's the feast or the I guess the divvying up of the meat. And then there's getting together with your family and eating the meats, celebrating these past ten days. Is there anything I'm missing from the actual day of Edelai?

I think that's pretty much it.

Gotcha. Yes. There's no closing prayer at the mosque or anything like that. Okay. You get to kind of like end the day on this high with your family, enjoying a big meal.

And you know sometimes we'll have to do that. Depending on what date falls on, if someone's working or not working, they might have a ritual where they do in their family and they'll do that whether sometimes families do potlucks or they'll do um They'll do get togethers, they'll go out, or just be at home with you know but being quiet. So just really whatever they want to do to honor this day.

Gotcha. So just celebrate. Like the celebration can look a very different purpose.

Yeah. And one thing that I will add is that one of the things that is also kind of an orchid overarching theme within the story of Prophet Ibrahim and is not just the gratitude and sacrifice. But it's also becoming closer to God and knowing that God is greater.

Sometimes it's translated to God is great, but really it's God is greater than and fill in the blink. And so whatever we're doing, God is greater than. So one of the things that we'll do is after the prayer, there's a specific prayer that we'll say. And after every prayer we'll say that for three days.

Okay. F starting on Eid al Adha, and then the two days after.

I see. So we'll just say that at every prayer because and that is again thanking God and remembering him that he's greater than our worries, you know, our basic small things, inconveniences, our small uh the pain that we go through, the issues that we have, the heartbreak. just dealing with life, right? Like anything that goes on in life because once you know and you can put your hope into something greater, then you can overcome anything.

I really like that. And you know, I've been thinking about the concept of sacrifice as it that's to me, and and correct me if I'm wrong on this, to me, as a non Muslim, when I associate with Eid al Adha, when I'm talking to somebody who's celebrating Eid al Adha, I'm gonna go in with the thought of sacrifice. That like a theme of this is sacrifice and gratitude from what you've taught me. Does that sound right?

Yeah.

Is there is there something that it sounds like it's very individual, but Do people do some sort of sacrifice in terms of like, do they give something up for a time to show God's sacrifice, or is it more just like personal and it can be it can be anything. I'm just thinking of Lent. Yeah. To give you some background, I'm thinking of Lent and I'm like, okay. People who celebrate Lent, they give something up for a certain amount of time. It doesn't sound like that's the case with Id al Adha.

No it isn't. So we're just doing acts of kindness, acts of worship that are that's going to increase good deeds that we can get. And also just there's so many side benefits to that, right? Where it's good for your mental health, you're physically and emotionally just better. You f you feel better. So it's really remembering God and doing things that are pleasing. And it could be anything.

It could be anything. Ended this.

Yeah, and the the challenging ourselves like okay because s one of the things is that in our faith is that if something is permissible or totally fine to eat, don't make it impermissible. Like we don't have that. Like God will tell us this is we do this and we don't do this. Now don't make your own rules. We don't have to make our own rules based on it. Like oh I'm gonna give up

Ah, that's good. That's really good. I have a couple more questions for you. One of them is, what is your favorite part about Eid al Adha? You've you've alluded to it a little bit, but can you be really concrete with us? What's something that you really Enjoy about it every single year.

I would say um going to the prayer in the morning. And it's similar to evil fitter, but I think it's just Going and being with everybody and being with my family and listening to the chutbah, the sermon, which is always inspirational. I would say that's my favorite part. And then the second part would be eating my dad's food. So yeah.

I love that. And that and that kind of covers the two parts, right? Like the spiritual and the celebration. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I could totally see that. Now I'm curious for Someone who may work with a practicing Muslim or who has a friend who's a practicing Muslim, how can they support? their their friends as they celebrate Eid al Adha and build up the ten days to it. What can what can we do to to support you in this holy time?

especially if it's at work, then, you know, like, hey, if you need anything, let me know. If there's if you need to take breaks or let's say if it's obviously if it's an employee, then we could, you know, make adjustments to schedules if they ne wanna leave earlier or come later. Um And just if it's like a neighbor or just a friend, then just saying we're thinking of we're thinking about you. I'd love to hear what you're doing. And I think we would love to share.

It sounds to me like it's something that you enjoy sharing about. You enjoy talking about it. It's not something where it's really hush hush and needs to be treat it like walked on lightly, if that makes sense. Yeah.

That's all.

Uh okay. And if somebody wanted to learn more about Where would you point them?

Well one is if depending on where they live, their local moth You know, a lot of mos are open to visitors, like maybe calling them. So that's a good one place to start. And the hi there's a lot of different talks about Eidul Adha and Dhul Hijjah, which is the month. Uh on YouTube there's just a lot of talks and I can reference some of them for you. And also you can reach out to me.

Okay. That's uh that's a great that's a great ending. If there's one thing you'd like people to remember when this episode is over and they go and move on with their lives. What's the the thing you'd like to have stick in their minds when they hear about Eid al-Adha?

I think the biggest thing is would be The story of Prophet Ibrahim. And the sacrifice and then also that this is a time, a sacred time of the month of the year where Muslims are going to Hajj. And so this it can only be during these times. You know, there's other things that people can do throughout the year, but you can only perform hajj in the first few days of the hajj. Hm. And so I think those are the things that I would want them to remember.

I love that. Thank you so much, Anila. I really appreciate you coming on the show. I learned a lot from you today. Just really appreciate it.

I love talking to you and I love talking about this and I know that there's just so much more I could have talked about, but that would take all day but

Right.

There's a lot of resources, so um, but definitely reach out to me if you have any other questions.

This was a perfect primer, right? This is a perfect primer for somebody who may not know anything about it, which was the goal. So you did a wonderful job. Thank you so much.

Thank you.

Thanks so much for learning with me today. If you enjoyed this episode, subscribe on your favorite podcast app, follow us on YouTube and Instagram, and consider sharing it with a friend. You can also join our free weekly email newsletter at wiserworld.com and support wiserworld at patreon.com/slash wiserworld podcast to get ad-free episodes and bonus resources for everyone. Until next time, let's make the world a little wiser.