Ep.27 Hot Take: Would you date yourself?

Welcome to the Wine and Wine Podcast. I'm Kelsey and I'm Ellie. This is your dose of friendship, fun and figuring life out together. Let's be e besties because life is messy, Wine helps.

And whining is optional.

Hi besties, Hey guys, welcome back.

Another episode, another topic. Yeah, this one's going to be a fun juicy One's a little juicy.

We're back with a hot take.

Oh my gosh, it was so funny. Right before we started recording, I was like, Kelso, I cannot go on a tangent, So everybody pray for me. Buckle up, buckle up because I'm not going on a tangent. Could be a tangent topic, but we cannot do it. We are holding ourselves to it this time. Yes, and maybe if we want to expand, we'll bring up this topic again another day.

I feel like we could go on and on about it. I feel like there's so many like, there's so many layers.

Yes, we can dive into them so much so it'll be fies. But first, but first look at any one.

Let's introduce the one we're mixing it up with a rose. Shout out to Sarah. She brought this randomly one day to my house and was like, yeah, muse it for whatever you want.

So it's the coolest bottle. It's not a wine bottle. It's like it looks kind of like a liquor bottle exactly, like or I don't know, like a ginormous ass perfume bottle.

Yes, yes, you can either put your perfume in hair or your whiskey shit perfume either are Yeah, just sniff before you sip, you know, and then you'll know what exactly. Okay, Yeah, it's called Rosetta and it's from Portugal, and uh, this rose has an appealing bouquet of floral and RedBerry notes. It is well balanced, soft and fruit forward, delicious as an Oh my gosh, I don't know how to say this word. Kilsop are appery teeth upper tiff.

I think, what is that like? Appetizer kind of? I literally have not.

Okay, we've had come up before, so maybe that's our next one one.

And perfect with salad and shellfish. That's so random. I do love me some shellfish.

Oh Okay, I'm not a big fan of seafood, but I'd get down with salad.

I freaking love seafood.

I to get down with it. Okay, Well, hopefully this pairs well with that. Okay, cheers, clink clink, swirling sniff. Speaking of swirling, Oh, we'll get to that in a bit. It smells good.

It smells really good. Let's see.

Okay, that's refreshing.

It's so freaking good.

That is so shout out Sarah.

That is like one of the smoothest wines we've had.

You know what's so funny is this girl's probably a bougie beach. I didn't even look at the price ring.

Probably a fancy ass.

Yeah, this is probably something that we have yet to pick up because we wouldn't.

Oh my god, that is so good. Let's see. Not me googling the price as we speak.

Oh, I don't even know. I don't even know. U should I then just put like price let's see. Sorry, everybody bear with me. Some are saying it's around tennis bucks.

I just really.

Yeah, maybe if I go to like, I don't know, you guys help, Why don't I know how to look for like a real quick Google search of the price of.

A wine, maybe I got.

Maybe I'll just click like, yeah, I'm getting anywhere from six dollars from Trader Joe's to twenty seven dollars.

No shit, yay, this is so it can honestly go anyway.

This is the I'm here for it.

You know what.

She did just get back from Colorado like a month ago or so two, and I think maybe she got it from Trader Joe's now that I think about it.

We don't have wine. That's why we can't have nice things boooo.

Anyway, So I honestly would give that a solid four seven five.

You know what, Yes, honestly, I could even go a five.

I honestly, it is so smooth.

I'm gonna give it. I'm gonna give it a four.

To five okay, just because like I feel like, I don't know, I don't know if this is me being pessimistic, but I'm like, I can't ever can't do the five. I can't do a five.

I don't know why.

Let's do four seven five, Okay, let's do it. But this was really good, really good, refreshing and everything. And for me to say that with a rose, I love it. Your girl is learning.

I love it.

Okay, what is our wine? One on one today, Ellie?

Okay, so buckle in and I will talk to you real quickly for like a minute about the wine. One oh one. So we are talking swirling your wine. So swirling your wine isn't just for show. It actually helps you smell it better. When you swirl wine in your glass, you're increasing its exposure to oxygen, which releases aromatic compounds. That's why, Okay, you gotta help me with this word. Somaliersmlier Somalier, I don't know, writch.

He I assume.

Always give it a little spin. It's like waking the wine up so you can experience its full personality, which I guess makes sense. Right, You're swirling and then you can like because they always say that kind of like.

Basically what like an air raider would do, like giving it the air and the movement.

Yes, nice, That's why we always are like swirling sniffs, swirling sniffs, swirl and swirl, So just swirl before you yeah, a little little swirly squirrel. Well that and I feel like incorporating all your senses to like something that you're indulging in or whatever I.

Think is always good thing. I agree, kind of like when I like sniff a load of lazogna before.

I eat it, you know, you like act like you had a load of lasogna in your hand.

Yes, because.

You've got to sniff the meat and the cheese in there. You know, I could really go for man, not me googling like protein packed lasangna. Right, so I'm gonna buy some like pasta that's made out of protein. Anyway. Whoa, that's a tangent. Okay, but okay, whoa getting back into this. Okay, So we are talking today about would you date yourself? We've all looked at each other. We're like, okay, would you date yourself?

Okay, let's talk about it.

Let's dive in, Okay, Okay, So we have a couple questions.

Yes, so we don't go off on tangents.

We kind of made us an outline, so we'll see give us some criteria.

Yeah, just a little like boom boom boom boom boom exactly exactly. And while you're listening and you hear the question being asked, like just answer it in your head, I guess.

Or like do you agree do you disagree with?

Like maybe we can do like a little questionnaire on our stories.

Yeah, and people can answer yeah totally totally and not necessarily like agree or disagree with.

Like, what is your opinion?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean I guess my friends who listen to me know me better than I know myself, so you could disagree or agree with what I have to say about myself.

He is a load of shit.

Yeah, why do you lie on that?

Why did you just lie? Why did you say you were perfect?

But the toxic one in the relationship is.

Okay?

Well anyway, anyho.

Back on track, back on track. Okay, So Ellie, what first impression do you leave? Is it flirty? Awkward, funny, guarded? What would you say?

Okay, to be completely honest here, I am trying to be like a self aware girlie, but I honestly feel like I do maybe come off a little guarded, like I don't talk a whole lot about like all my endeavors and stuff like that.

Like, to be completely.

Honest, I don't even tell guys I date that I have a podcast, like at all makes sense, Like I say, like, yeah, I'm working on a passion project. If they naturally come across it, cool, great, But I don't like even open.

Up till you're like comfortable with the person and feel like trusting them with that. I would probably do the same.

I just feel like with when it comes to this podcast, like it's so like personal to me already that you want to kind of lead I think at least with an air of like mystery a little bit, you know. So if I were to be like yeah, or do a podcast on side and then they like know all about me, I'm like, they know your most embarrassing moments before you go on a second day, Yes, it's so suspect, or they'll know that I did it for the plot earlier this.

Year, Like I just I just can't. I can't, I can't.

So anyway, I feel like I come across a little guarded, but I feel like I do come across also like super confident. I try to affirm that before I walk in, but I also want to be like friendly and warm and opening. So that's how I think I go across. Yeah, how do you feel like you came across when you were dating?

For me, I think it honestly depended on the comfort level, like how much I talked to the person ahead of time, and then if it was like someone that actually was truly interested in or someone that I was kind of just like you never know kind of a thing, you know, so, but I would still say, like I probably am a gain, like you just said, more guarded because I'm kind of a shy, introverted person, So I'd say I'm like guarded.

Know, do you start off flirty or do you wait for them to be flirty first.

I think I'm probably a little more flirty than most of the guys that I date.

Really, I used to get told all the time that I'm a flirt. Okay, I think you're a natural flirt. Maybe I don't think i'd do it on purpose.

Oh, I just think that that's just how like my personality and I'm kind of like friendly, and a lot of times it just comes cross as flirty.

Okay, that makes sense. That makes sense because I would say I'm friendly too, But I know, like when I see a guy who's like a potential, I get awkward and shy and introvert, So all that to say is I feel like I don't lead with flirty, Like I wait to see if they're like flirty, and then I like try to play with it.

That's cool, that's interesting.

I think it just depends on my comfort level. And I don't know, maybe it's not really flirtiness more like charisma.

Okay, charming charming, Yeah, we got a charming We had a charmer in the house. I don't know, love it okay, So uh The next question I have is would you want to go on a second date with yourself?

Girl? Absolutely, I'm a freaking catch. Hell yeah, say it louder?

Have you met me? I mean?

But yes, I would go on a second date with myself? Yeah?

I mean who who are you? Who wouldn't go on a second date with your kelso a But also b if you if you asked yourself this question, you I would hope that everybody would say yes to themselves.

I would too.

If you can't, if you don't like then any of yourself, then yeah, yeah, I don't know, and you need to do some reflecting.

Yes, that, and I feel like I do. My dayis like I feel like first impressions are key, So I feel like I really do put like my full good self out there.

Hell yeah, I would take myself out on a second day. Yes, I would. I would. I would take you on a second date. Thanks. Girls.

Okay, the next question I have is what is your dating style?

Are you more of a slow burn or are you all in?

You know what's so funny is ideally, like my dream life would be that I would be a slow burn girly only because I'm obsessed with Jane Austen And that's where like Crimin the La Creme, Like, it's always just a slow burn. It's a look, it's a little touch, it's a note, you know. So I dream of being a slow burn girly, but really I'm a full Like yeah, just jump right in.

Yeah, I'm like, hey, hurricane Nellie, come in. Yeah yeah, I'm like listen, you like me? I like you?

Okay, so I love it. What are we doing here? Like, well, let's wrap an arrow, wrap it up, let's go delete your app. I know it's the first date. I need you to delete your app right now. And we're exclusive, right, I know that's low key, little toxic or not not realistic. Let's be real. So yeah, I'm an all in type of girl. See I'm opposite.

I think I would like to be a little more of an all in girly. But I think I'm a little more on the slow burn.

Side of things.

It takes me a while to get truly comfortable with someone, to really trust somebody, like not necessarily like with intimacy, like sometimes like all like you know, I'll kiss on a first date or whatever and stuff like that, but to actually like be like oh yeah, like the relationship side of it.

Mm hmmm. I must more of a slow burn. Okay, good for you.

I think I think ideally everybody should be a slow burn. Like I think that that's how it plays out the best. But this is why I crash and burn so quickly is because I like full send. Yeah, do you know what I mean. I'm like, it's fine, everybody, It's fine.

I said.

I like that.

I kind of sometimes wish that I was a little bit more that way, because I feel like doing that also builds more passion, you know.

Interesting, Yeah, yeah, they do say, what's that saying?

If like you go like you started off so quickly and so quickly typed dil Oh, yeah, I don't know.

Here I am with like my track record of just like a couple weeks.

And then it's done.

Okay, I didn't know this was gonna be therapy.

Okay, So my next question is what are your love languages?

Oh that's a good one. You've done the test, right, Yeah, okay, cool, So my love languages. So I kind of interpreted this two different ways, like oh, okay, yeah, what my love languages actually are? But then because the question is would you date yourself, I'm also interpreting it like would I like my own love languages? Oh? Interesting? Okay, so I have kind.

Of a couple answers. So my personal love languages are words of affirmation and physical touch. I think it's kind of partly my anxiety and overthinking that that that comes from M. But then I started thinking, I'm like, well, the question, the main question we're trying to answer here is would I date myself? And I'm like, well, so dating myself that means that I would be receiving words of affirmation and you know, physical touch, but also wanting

That's what I give. That's also really actually what I want to receive back.

I yes, okay, WHOA. I'm like kind of confused, but bear with me because I'm like, am I just sleep deprived?

I know, I got like all over the place with this question.

No, no, but okay, so those so your love language is WHOA, awards of affirmation and physical touch. But what you're saying is you want to receive that. I also want I want to give it. That's what I give, but I also want to receive that. Oh I hear you. And just to like kind of answer this, I don't know if this helps or not, just kind of well,

Yeah, that makes sense for sure. Okay, why am I?

Why am I trying to understand what I'm saying?

That meme where she's got the math problem.

You got, we cannot condense this to like thirty minutes. But anyway, no, yeah, so basically that's ideally how it works. Like yes, like say those are well, those are your two like love languages. It's so natural for you to do that for others because that's your natural love language. But it's like even more so just like a mindful aspect of like giving your partner their love language, which might not be your love language, but you have to give theirs theirs, if that makes any.

Sense, which it is kind of like a yeah trip sometimes.

Right, Well, luckily I think just based on you know, four years dating him, I think wills are pretty similar.

Mm hmmm.

Has he done the test?

No, I don't think he would be interesting.

I don't think heinely not like acts of service or gift giving kind of a person, you know. So he's definitely a physical touch person for sure.

And that's good because and.

I think deep down he also really likes the word like the admiration.

Yeah, I don't think he would admit it though.

Yeah, well I mean what guy would. But also it is so nice when you share the same love language because then it's so easy to give because it's so natural for you because you like that yourself. Basically, so my love languages are acts of service and quality time.

So yeah, that's a good one.

It is just it's so not I think it's because I'm just always like solo dolo, and I feel like I'm just a girl and I don't know how to hang up a mirror or whatever or like curtain rods. Like I'm like if somebody can just like come into my life and be like, yeah, I got that, I'll bring the groceries in, or I'll take out the trash, or I'll help you hang this up.

Like I would just die the biggest death. I'd be like, oh my gosh, you're so nice, like yeah, thanks.

For helping me hang up my TV shit like that eyes, yes, like I just I die. Like so those are the things that are so like I just love that. And then yeah, just quality time.

Honestly, my time isn't very important.

I still do very much value that, yes, yes, So then I asked the guys, like, what's your love language. I can see if I can, like, you know, kind of be in that vibe or whatever. But anyway, interesting huh so interesting.

Okay, So my next question is what are your green flags?

I don't even know? Sounds hard? Well okay, actually I lied. I love it.

I'm like, oh I don't even know. Well wait wait my own green flags. It's not what I look for.

No wait, yeah, because if you're gonna date yourself, so you have to answer this for yourself.

Crab, you're what are my green flags? Okay?

Oof, you're funny, Oof, you're thoughtful. Oof?

Thanks girl, No way, I.

Was thinking communicator.

Well it's so funny because I was. I was literally thinking about what are green flags for me and men? So it's funny now that you're like, oh, like, oh shit, what are my green flags? Yeah? No, I think I'm buried, like like I don't like texting all day, but I make it known, like like how we're going to communicate, Like I guess I don't leave somebody hanging.

Yes, you never do.

Like I'm always so clear whether I'm into you or not, like I'm like, hey, I really like you or like whatever whatever, or like yes i'll talk to you tomorrow or yeah I'm a bit busy right now doing this. I'll reach back out to you this evening. It's not dating, just with friendships.

You're really good at doing that too, just being like, hey, I just get sending quick texting. H I'm busy right now, but I'll get to this in a couple hours.

That's amazing. A lot of people don't do that.

Yeah, I just I'm not. I'm just not a big texter. And like I'll send voice memos. Like literally, Kelsey walked in and I was like listening to a voice memo and it was from my boss. He was like, he was like, I've actually never done a voice memo before because I sent him a voice memo. But I'm just like, I'm not. Yeah, I just can't text. So just a quick voice memo or just like a quick FYI hear you go. I just don't ever want somebody to feel unsure or insecure about talking to me. I want them

It known, yeah, and make it known so you're good with reassurance, I guess would be a better Maybe not communication. You are still good to communicator, but maybe a better way to word dies. You're really good with reassurance.

Yes, yes, I think that's what it is. I want people to feel like safe and not have anxiety about where we stand. Yes, yep, yes that's mine.

What about you?

So this was a hard one for me. I hate like talking about myself, especially like in a positive way.

I'm terrible.

I'm my biggest bully type thing. You know, kind of well, you're funny, Oh, you're cute. You're also good communicator. Q is a green flag, but.

I think it is.

I think mine would be like, I.

Think I'm very trustworthy and loyal m I would say I'm probably kind of like a Golden Retriever friend or like you know, yes, where people always say the Golden Retriever boyfriend, I'm probably that girlfriend cue I also am like For me, I think it's important to still have like and this could maybe not be a green flag to everybody.

To me, I think it is, but I still value having.

Time with my own friends and letting my significant other have time with their own friends.

With separate license.

That's so good.

We can still mix and mingle here and there. But I still do value that and think that's great. I don't need to be on top of this person twenty for seven, you know, So there's that. I also think I'm thoughtful if I'm thoughtful.

Yes, I agree, you are thoughtful, even just like I think I'm thoughtful, even just like I think sometimes you can correlate like relationships with friendships too, if that makes anything very much. So I feel like, just like you're so thoughtful and you're gift giving too, I'm like, oh my gosh, how.

Would you How'd you know I love this pickball?

How or these like Tero card Jane Austin, you know what I mean, Like you just know something?

So like the funny that kind of goes back to freaking like the love languages. It's not necessarily my love language, but I love giving gifts.

We are like the fucking same person.

I shit, it's about getting gifts, but I love to give them.

I literally had the longest conversation with a girlfriend of mine the other day and I'm like, this is so crazy, but I'm a gift giver to people, but I do not like receiving. It gets so awkward, Like I'm like, oh my gosh, thanks you didn't really have to here, let me bend you fifteen dollars? Yeah, for real. But they're like, but they're like, bro, that was that was a gift, like you know, and I'm like, wait, I'm awkward.

Yeah?

Right, maybe that goes along with our like event hosting we like to do too.

I don't know, I don't know what Isn't that so funny?

I even think that translates to that is when we host, we're also very thoughtful there.

Yes, we want to make sure everyone's comfortable and having a good all time. Yes, down to the damn decorations.

Down to the freaking decorations and the drink options.

Everybody, and how we arranged our table space exactly?

Are you literally we literally are the same person. It's fucking crazy. Okay, Okay, here's here's a nitty gritty one.

What are your red flags? So going opposite? Yes, so.

These might kind of go together a little bit, But I overthink everything. I'm an overthinker, and I'll like stew in it even if like nothing's happening. So I maybe not be the best communicator like you said that you thought that was one of my green flags. I don't think I am, just because I ever think everything, and I will just do in it instead of talking it through because part of me knows I'm overthinking it, but

Oh okay, So yeah, we love a self aware queen though, and I'll try, like I try and be a little bit better because I will just say I'm fine, no, it's fine, whatever, you know.

But then I'm like, I'm clear like clearly I'm not fine.

So finally, like eventually I'll just be like, no, I'm just blah blah blah, I'm overthinking, you know. I try and be better at that. Yeah, but no, I'm the queen. If I'm fine or it's fine.

I hear you.

Oh my gosh, this kind of sounds like a job interview question only because I'm gonna say it and then I'm gonna be like, but I'm working on it. And this is how I'm working on it. Like have you ever like you know, the job interviews where it's like, what's your weakness when you're like the greatest weakness, yeah, and you're like and you say it and then you're like, but this is like the resolution for you to make it a positive you doo like as positive spin to it.

And you have been doing a lot better. Yes, so you are correct, Yes, you are working on it.

I am working on it, damn it. So I'm now having conversations.

There's been a couple of times where it did it make the situation worse?

Yes it did, And we're also we're working through that. You need to find the balance.

Yes, we are working through it all.

But no.

Yeah, so I'm just trying to be more mindful of like having these conversations before cutting guys off, because like I've said before, it's almost like they were taking a test they didn't know they were taking and they filled it and they're like what the fuck? And I'm like, okay, okay, Ellie, how about you have a conversation with them versus like, hey, when you did this, it made me feel this way. How do you so working on that? But definitely was

You're allowed to have boundaries exactly. I think that drives them away. Then that's their problem.

Yeah, no, I agree, So I think that's kind of my I mean, for them. I guess it would be cool because I'd be like, yeah, I'm getting out anything I want, you know, but really I might be over in the future and so oh yeah, for sure. Anyhom okay.

So the next question is do you think you would drive yourself nuts? Or would you feel balanced dating yourself?

Would I feel balanced dating myself? Sorry, I'm trying to understand that question, like would.

I don't I guess maybe hmm, if you were dating yourself, would you be annoyed in doing that I'm going to cut this person out? Or do you think it would feel good and like home kind of a thing? Like?

Or is the question like am I exuding some type of energy to where like I feel balanced or nuts? Based off I don't know. I feel like you can take the question different ways, right.

I just interpreted it as like just like thinking back on like like past relationships, just being like.

There were some that like they were.

Super toxic and it did drive me nuts, like it wasn't like symbotica.

But then I've had obviously.

With Will, it's pretty well balanced. That makes sense emotionally physically everything.

I hear you, I hear you. Yeah, I mean fuck, I think I would like to say balance, right. I don't think I would drive anybody nuts, you know, Yeah, But I guess, to be completely honest, I honestly just feel like I literally have not found my cup of tea,

But they were still all in their own way emotionally taxing. Yes, yes, you definitely did not feel balance yep. So anyhow, that's good.

What about you?

I honestly think that if I was dating myself, I think i'd feel very balanced.

I think a big.

Reason for that is is just again going back to like the love languages and my like green flags and everything, the ones that I give out. So then you know, if I dating myself, I'd also be receiving them back. It's like what, you know, what I'd want. They're the things I value in a relationship. So I think it'd be pretty dwn balanced. I think I might drive myself a little bit nuts with the overthinking.

It would just be two people overthinking all the time.

But maybe we wouldn't because there'd be words of affirmation all the time.

There you go, so who knows?

There you go?

Okay, Well, the last burning question, Kelsey, would you date yourself?

Yes? Yes, I would date yourself.

I would, yay, I would. I actually do date myself? Damn it.

I know we do solo daters sometimes, you know, I do. Again, though, I love spending time with just by myself. Yeah, I love being alone sometimes.

Isn't it such a vibe? Vibe?

It is such a vibe.

Yes, But this where you kept saying, like we're very similar people. It would be interesting to hear other people's perspectives, because I know a lot of people that hate spending time alone be interesting. To get their perspective, we should do like a poll of like yes no, would you date yourself yes no? Or like would you drive yes? And I love Kennessee where the majority yes. After this goes.

Live this weekend, Well, we'll do some poles funsie, Fine, these were really good questions. They were good questions. Heck, yeah, look at us, go look at us.

Just get into the nitty gritty of it all. And honestly we could have gone on tangents, but we could. We were We were good at like like this.

Our last episode was over an hours. Really, this one has to hit the mark. Yeah, we gotta, we gotta make it just long enough for your hot girl bocks yeah.

With wine, yeah, exact hand.

Anyways, Well, thanks for thanks, guys, this was fun.

See yea bye. All right e bessies, that's it for this episode of the Wine and Wine Podcast.

Don't leave us hanging, like, subscribe and follow or else we'll drink all the wine without you kidding.

Kind of and hey, tell a friend they need be besties too.

Bye