Drag queen Latrice Royale ( RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars) joins Nicole for a good teeheehee. She discusses getting into drag on a dare, writing on AJ and the Queen , meeting their husband Chris at a meet & greet, and the story behind their Chicago pride festival proposal. Check out Latrice's podcast: The Chop . Support Black Lives Matter. For a list of resources and ways to help, check out blacklivesmatters.carrd.co . Follow Nicole Byer: Twitter: @nicolebyer Instagram: @n...
Sep 18, 2020•1 hr•Ep. 151
Comedian and writer Dewayne Perkins (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, The Break with Michelle Wolf) joins Nicole to talk about getting back together with his ex, the importance of checking in with your partner, and how America has failed everyone. They also get into the systemic racism present in writers' rooms, and how to turn the thought of death into something positive. Support Black Lives Matter. For a list of resources and ways to help, check out blacklivesmatters.carrd.co . Follow Nicole Byer: Twitter:...
Sep 11, 2020•1 hr 11 min•Ep. 150
Comedian Sam Jay (writer at SNL) discusses how she met her girlfriend, the influence of wealth in a relationship, and the difference between flirting with men and women. Sam teaches Nicole about bad bitch energy, and how she developed her "lady game". Plus, why aren't interviewers asking White people about #BLM? Check out Sam Jay's special on Netflix: netflix.com/title/81078802 Support Black Lives Matter. For a list of resources and ways to help, check out blacklivesmatters.carrd.co . Follow Nic...
Sep 04, 2020•1 hr 3 min•Ep. 149
Ziwe (writer for Desus & Mero) and Nicole chat about being horn'd up, what they've been crying over, and are trying to learn to love what they see in the mirror. Nicole's back on the apps, where it seems like performative activism is the growing trend in dating bios. On the plus side, Nicole's been getting treated better on dating apps since the #BLM protests. Oh boy, life is wild and there's lots to unpack in this one. Support Black Lives Matter. For a list of resources and ways to help, ch...
Aug 28, 2020•1 hr 2 min•Ep. 148
Writer and actress Amber Ruffin (Late Night with Seth Meyers, A Black Lady Sketch Show) chats with Nicole about the weight of having to discuss politics on Late Night , how they can make racism funny, and what the upcoming Zoom Emmy awards will be like. Plus, Amber helps write some Hinge messages, and Nicole challenges white people to come up with a good slave joke. Support Black Lives Matter. For a list of resources and ways to help, check out blacklivesmatters.carrd.co . Follow Nicole Byer: Tw...
Aug 21, 2020•56 min•Ep. 147
Gabby Sidibe ( Precious, American Horror Story, Empire ) joins Nicole to discuss the problematic expectation to have to code switch at work, why Black women are often dealbreakers for Black men, and the crazy story behind dating a gay man for 3 years. Plus, they chat about watching 90 Day Fiancé in quarantine, and how they get mistaken for each other all the time. Support Black Lives Matter. For a list of resources and ways to help, check out blacklivesmatters.carrd.co . Follow Nicole Byer: Twit...
Aug 14, 2020•1 hr 1 min•Ep. 146
Oh boy this is a juicy one. Author Roxane Gay ( Bad Feminist, Hunger ) joins Nicole to discuss their experiences with institutional racism, dealing with fatphobia in interviews, and how she treated school like a videogame. Then, Roxane shares the story behind eloping, how quarantine is testing the strength of relationships everywhere, and how her wife woo'd her through podcasting. Be an active ally. For a list of resources and ways to help, check out blacklivesmatters.carrd.co . Follow Nicole By...
Aug 07, 2020•1 hr 11 min•Ep. 145
'Do you want to be an active ally, or do you just want to say that out loud? ' Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman (Judge/host on Canada's Drag Race, Unreal ) joins Nicole to unpack racial traumas from childhood, discuss the systematic racism in society, and rise in performative allies instead of active ones. After the break, Nicole shares her experience finding love at a Lassens. Be an active ally. For a list of resources and ways to help, check out blacklivesmatters.carrd.co . Follow Nicole Byer: Twitter: ...
Jul 31, 2020•1 hr 8 min•Ep. 144
Actress/comedian Ele Woods (The Good Place, CollegeHumor) shares her experiences being White-passing, and how she's using it for good. Her and Nicole discuss rollerblading and sewing in quarantine, and argue why 2020 is actually a good year. Plus, Nicole attends a virtual strip show, and teaches a 12 year old it's OK to pole dance. Support Black Lives Matter . For a list of resources and places to donate check here: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/ Follow Nicole Byer: Tour Dates: nicolebyerwa...
Jul 24, 2020•57 min•Ep. 143
Drag queen The Vixen ( Rupaul's Drag Race S10, host of Black Girl Magic ) chats about calling out microaggressions on Drag Race, the type of hate mail they receive, and how appearing on the show lead to an amicable break in their relationship. Plus, they share the secret to flirting (which they learned working at Olive Garden), the fun of having a 'Weekend Boyfriend', and sleeping with someone just for the story. Also, Nicole needs to know the CDC's guidelines on doggy style. What's the safest w...
Jul 17, 2020•51 min•Ep. 142
"I was just looking for butthole. And then wrapped around the butthole was a really nice, young, Jewish man." Bob the Drag Queen (winner of RuPaul's Drag Race S8 ) chats about systematic racism, his two partners, and the confusing social construct of dating, and so much more. Plus, Bob shares some wildly embarrassing hookup stories involving race chasers, and offers Nicole a very interesting dating proposition. For more drag queens on Why Won't You Date Me, check out our episode playlist on Spot...
Jul 10, 2020•1 hr 11 min•Ep. 141
Actress and comedian Santina Muha (One Day at a Time, Curb Your Enthusiasm) answers the worst questions to ask someone in a wheelchair, shares some of the aggressive messages she's received on dating apps, and asks to include disability in today's conversation about diversity. Plus, Nicole recaps her experience 'Facetime dating' in quarantine. Support BLM. For a list of resources and places to donate click here: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/ Follow Nicole Byer: Tour Dates: nicolebyerwastak...
Jul 03, 2020•1 hr 1 min•Ep. 140
Actress Kirby Howell-Baptiste (The Good Place, Barry, Why Women Kill) discusses the rise in "Karens", managing life after death, and the reality of the Black experience. Plus, they share personal stories of racial bias, the importance of seeing representation in media, and how to raise a new generation of active allies. Check out @black.owned.everything on Instagram or officialblackwallstreet.com for a list of Black-owned businesses near you. Follow Nicole Byer: Tour Dates: nicolebyerwastaken.co...
Jun 26, 2020•1 hr 9 min•Ep. 139
Rapper and former drag queen AJA ( RuPaul's Drag Race S9, All Stars S3 ) catches up with Nicole on the #BlackLivesMatter protests, discussing Black history erasure and how people can be a good ally in the movement. AJA dishes on Drag Race, admitting they were extremely high on edibles during the filming. Plus, they share how they met their biological parents this year, and provides advice on the foundational layers every successful relationship needs. For more drag queens on Why Won't You Date M...
Jun 19, 2020•1 hr 5 min•Ep. 138
"Sex is always better when you can be yourself during it" Jinkx Monsoon (Winner of Rupaul's Drag Race S5) dishes about fulfilling race chaser fantasies, heteronormative roleplay, how their Grindr use has changed since being on Drag Race, and so much more. Also, Nicole shares the only appropriate time to yell 'NAILED IT' at her. For more drag queens on Why Won't You Date Me, check out our episode playlist on Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3fg8Epu Support Black Lives Matter . For a list of resources an...
Jun 12, 2020•1 hr 7 min•Ep. 137
Drag queen Monét X Change ( RuPaul's Drag Race, winner of RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars S4 ) shares the story about how they got their first STD from a race chaser, breaking up with their partner on Thanksgiving, and offers tips how to ease into butt stuff. Support Black Lives Matter . For a list of resources and places to donate click here: https://linktr.ee/dragher For more drag queens on Why Won't You Date Me, check out our episode playlist on Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3fg8Epu Follow Nicole By...
Jun 05, 2020•57 min•Ep. 136
The wonderful comedian Michelle Buteau ( Always Be My Maybe , host of The Circle ) discusses owning her sexuality, raising twins, being denied the ability to adopt kids, and so much more. Nicole and Michelle share their worst moments getting drunk on a plane, how the public keeps mistaking them for one another, and if having big tiddies makes it easier or harder to date For more Nicole Byer, check out her other podcast - Newcomers ! Her and Lauren Lapkus are watching and reviewing Star Wars film...
May 29, 2020•1 hr 2 min•Ep. 135
BenDeLaCreme ( RuPaul's Drag Race, RPDR All Stars ) chats about how he deals with other people's traumas, getting gaslight by their therapist, and whats it's like to move in with a new boyfriend right before the pandemic. Plus, he explains his initial excitement to attain Race Chasers, and what made him so angry before his proposal. For more drag queens on Why Won't You Date Me, check out our episode playlist on Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3fg8Epu Follow Nicole Byer: Tour Dates: nicolebyerwastaken...
May 22, 2020•1 hr 11 min•Ep. 134
Oh boy, this episode is a juicy one. Comedian/actress Giulia Rozzi (Girl Code) speaks to Nicole about the struggles of being pregnant in quarantine, if she has any worries about raising a bi-racial child, and learning to not feel guilty about your privilege. Plus, Giulia teaches Nicole the best way to reach out to an old fling, and how to remain friends with an ex-husband. For more Nicole Byer, check out her other podcast - Newcomers ! Her and Lauren Lapkus are watching and reviewing Star Wars f...
May 15, 2020•57 min•Ep. 133
Comedian Tawny Newsome (Space Force) chats with Nicole about learning how to do your own hair in quarantine, their crazy fashion phases, and the current state of "Zoom dating" along with the crazy logistics behind it. For more Nicole Byer, check out her new podcast - Newcomers ! Her and Lauren Lapkus are watching and reviewing Star Wars films for the very first time. Subscribe today so you don't miss an episode . Rate Why Won't You Date Me 5-stars on Apple Podcasts and leave a dirty comment for ...
May 08, 2020•1 hr 4 min•Ep. 132
"On what date do you reveal you're a merperson?" Comedian and TV writer Jamie Loftus ( Robot Chicken , host of The Bechdel Cast ) theorizes what it must be like being broken up but quarantined together, shares her fascination with balloon fetishists, and how 'Zoom-dating' has been working for people. Plus, Nicole's so dang horny, she's asking her roommate to sleep with her. For more Nicole Byer, check out her new podcast - Newcomers ! Her and Lauren Lapkus are watching and reviewing Star Wars fi...
May 01, 2020•38 min•Ep. 131
Ira Madison III (TV writer, host of Keep It ) chats about how he's staying sane while quarantine alone, his guest appearance on You , and how he's having sex over Instagram. For more Nicole Byer, check out her new podcast - Newcomers ! Her and Lauren Lapkus are watching and reviewing Star Wars films for the very first time. Subscribe today so you don't miss an episode . Rate Why Won't You Date Me 5-stars on Apple Podcasts and leave a dirty comment for a chance to have it read on-air. Follow Nico...
Apr 24, 2020•53 min•Ep. 130
"Marriage should be a lease with an option to renew" Tommy Lenk ( Buffy the Vampire Slayer , host of Trashcast ) shares his ideas to modernize marriage, points out the archaic rules of straight dating, and talks about his experience living in quarantine with his ex-bf's new bf. We've hit peak horny!! Nicole is having a full blown meltdown. Stay inside and stay safe everyone! For more Nicole Byer, check out her new podcast - Newcomers ! Her and Lauren Lapkus are watching and reviewing Star Wars f...
Apr 17, 2020•55 min•Ep. 129
Comedian Megan Gailey ( Conan , Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon ) chats with Nicole about life as a newlywed in quarantine, the horrors of wedding dress shopping, and the freaks using dating apps right now. Plus, how early is it acceptable to start drinking? Quarantine is causing crazies. For more Nicole Byer, check out her new podcast - Newcomers ! Her and Lauren Lapkus are watching and reviewing Star Wars films for the very first time. Subscribe today so you don't miss an episode . Rate Why...
Apr 10, 2020•51 min•Ep. 128
Stand-up comedian & Nicole's opener Amy Miller (host of Who's Your God ) teaches us how to spot a chucklefucker, shares her experience going through Steve Harvey's 90 day sex rule, and how to feel powerful giving a blowjob. Plus, a motivational chat about loving your girls, and a check-in from quarantine. For more Nicole Byer, check out her new podcast - Newcomers ! Her and Lauren Lapkus are watching and reviewing Star Wars films for the very first time. Subscribe today so you don't miss an ...
Apr 03, 2020•50 min•Ep. 127
"We're all just on Zoom trying to date people?" Jacquis Neal (host of Culture Kings ) joins us remotely while in quarantine to discuss what it's like being cooped up with your S/O in isolation, how people are dating during the COVID-19 pandemic, and if you can stay friends with an ex. Plus, he shares the cute story behind his Disney World proposal. Meanwhile, Nicole has started taking therapy sessions from a Costco parking lot. Pre-order Nicole's new book: www.indiebound.org/book/9781524850746 F...
Mar 27, 2020•52 min•Ep. 126
Paul Rust ( Love, Comedy Bang! Bang!, Arrested Development ) has been married for 5 years. He discusses what it's like to date and work with his partner, the differences between his show ' Love' and his real love life, and bare boner rules. Plus, they share public pranks gone wrong, and Nicole's dream marriage proposal. This was our last studio recording, prior to social isolation. We'll do our best to continue to produce episodes weekly during the quarantine. Stay inside and wash your hands, fo...
Mar 20, 2020•1 hr 2 min•Ep. 125
" Everyone that I thought was 'the one', was a piece of trash. " Nicolette Mason (plus-size fashion blogger) joins Nicole to discuss the latest dating buzzwords of 2020, reflecting on your self-worth, whether they've dated fans, and so much more. For more Nicole Byer, check out her new podcast - Newcomers ! Her and Lauren Lapkus are watching and reviewing Star Wars films for the very first time. Subscribe today so you don't miss an episode . Rate Why Won't You Date Me 5-stars on Apple Podcasts a...
Mar 13, 2020•58 min•Ep. 124
" My life's work was dating people ." Kelly Hudson ( Search Party, Sunnyside, CollegeHumor ) left her open-relationship to be with the man she's married to today. She shares her tricky experience dating 4 people at once, her first rules for dating in an open relationship, and what it's like to be on dating apps while married. Plus, Nicole shares her hard stance on feet, and period sex. Need more Nicole Byer? Check out her new podcast - Newcomers ! Her and Lauren Lapkus will be watching and revie...
Mar 06, 2020•1 hr 1 min•Ep. 123
Writer/stand-up Rae Sanni ( The Good Place , A Black Lady Sketch Show) joins Nicole to discuss all the struggles of their twenties, and how it has defined them. From the string of bad sex, hustling for money, dealing with colorism in the black community, and more. This bonus episode is brought to you by BET's new Twenties . See it March 4th. Search and post on social with hashtag #TwentiesonBET. Follow Nicole Byer: Tour Dates: nicolebyerwastaken.com/tourdates Twitter: @nicolebyer Instagram: @nic...
Mar 03, 2020•1 hr 4 min•Ep. 122
