In this episode, Simon and Dean gently ease into the new year by reminiscing about an old book and listing rugby players. They also try to work out why a dental practice would feel the need to laminate a seemingly innocuous sign and end the show by investigating the life of an Australian sportsman. Tommy David book - https://www.wob.com/en-gb/books/carwyn-james/tommy-david/9780950404226?gclid=Cj0KCQiAwJWdBhCYARIsAJc4idB_sfWcH8SRaBADobiTI5XweBxLf3lKFu1DAIOmkgsmhsPjBolsHHoaAj5lEALw_wcB#GOR00224498...
Jan 11, 2023•38 min•Ep. 27
In this special episode, Chairman of the Board and minority-shareholder Dave Steele (Will Riker’s Sex Beard Podcast) returns to deliver Dean and Simon’s annual performance review. Dave has come prepared with a spreadsheet, stats, figures and poetry in order to assess whether your hosts have met their goals for the year in podcasting. Wikipedia – Golden Browed Chat-Tyrant https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golden-browed_chat-tyrant Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....
Jan 04, 2023•1 hr 3 min•Ep. 26
In this episode, a ‘tired’ Dean and Simon convene for a late-night record to bring you features on old-timey bicycles, strange wall decorations and gambling opportunities. How two men that claim to be uninterested in horses can end up talking about them on a seemingly weekly basis is beyond me. I’m going to petition for a full embargo on horse-based chat in 2023. Penny Farthing article: https://www.countrylife.co.uk/out-and-about/sporting-country-pursuits/penny-farthing-frequent-sight-streets-lo...
Dec 28, 2022•38 min•Ep. 25
In this episode, Dean and Simon welcome guests new and old to their house for a Christmas Party. The gang celebrate the season in the traditional style by discussing dog/audio mashups, hand-porn/rage-bait mashups and basketball/MMA mashups. They also delve into a fish. A bluetooth speaker shaped like a dog - https://imgur.com/3sN24Nh The tik-tok videos Adam shows us - https://www.tiktok.com/@putinnu/video/7149185383559925038 and https://www.tiktok.com/@potteryboy/video/7161692912537931010 Dean’s...
Dec 21, 2022•1 hr 5 min•Ep. 24
In this special edition of the podcast we bring you Dean’s report from ‘Wonderland - The World’s Leading Psychedelic Event’, a conference he attended in Miami, Florida, USA in November 2022. This episode is available in an audio/visual format on YouTube should you wish to follow the slideshow in real time - https://youtu.be/Tn8C82lnhEk Photo 1 - https://imgur.com/JXpOc7I Photo 2 - https://imgur.com/pjllgxA Photo 3 - https://imgur.com/oFYzwNS Photo 4a - https://imgur.com/Dnk7VRt Photo 4b - https:...
Dec 14, 2022•1 hr 2 min•Ep. 23
In this episode, Dean leans in to the accusations of deviancy that Simon has levelled at him by discussing sexy maternity wear. Simon brings the science for a change as he introduces Dean to a horrible little creature. The pair of them finish off by discussing slacklining in the focused manner that you, the listener, has come to expect. Maternity PVC catsuit: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FiRFFB_WIAAvwFc?format=png&name=small Product link: https://www.asos.com/naked-wardrobe-maternity/naked-wa...
Dec 07, 2022•42 min•Ep. 22
In this episode, your hosts discuss the efficient(?) check-in system that they run at Vienna International Airport and then it’s time for dinner. Feel free to isolate and sample the rustling and crunching sounds if you need a disgusting sound effect for a horror film or something. Finally, a possible crime is accidentally solved in the Random Wikipedia Article segment as a by-product of bike-based investigation. Vienna International Airport - https://www.viennaairport.com/cz/cestujici/letiste/ch...
Nov 30, 2022•43 min•Ep. 21
In this episode your friends, Dean and Simon, are joined by their friend Mike. The three gentlemen discuss a forthcoming sure-smash-hit film and a scary but probably useless beauty device before working their way through an article that lists the top 21 hentais of all time. They finish off with a look at a computer game from the 1990s in what is perhaps the most shambolic Random Wikipedia Article section to date. The listener may be surprised to learn that some alcohol was consumed during the re...
Nov 23, 2022•1 hr 2 min•Ep. 20
In this episode, the boys discuss a long-forgotten Channel 5 gameshow and expensive wristwatches before finishing up with a slow-motion train-wreck of a Random Wikipedia Article section. Also in this episode, Dean finds out that he can do an impression of Vincent Price. The impression went down very well with Simon so expect to hear more from Vincent in future episodes. Touch the Truck - http://www.ukgameshows.com/ukgs/Touch_the_Truck The wristwatches - https://imgur.com/m4eDJwX Wikipedia – O-Tr...
Nov 16, 2022•43 min•Ep. 19
In this episode Dean and Simon talk a load of lettuce as they revisit two of their favourite topics: vending machines and Japan. Simon then over-states the artistic value of a made-up train-announcement and the pair of them finish off by discussing a computer game neither them have played. Lettuce vending machine - https://imgur.com/iv8j2H2 Article Dean found about the machine - https://www.impactlab.com/2012/11/26/chefs-farm-a-vending-machine-that-grows-20000-heads-of-lettuce-a-year-without-sun...
Nov 09, 2022•43 min•Ep. 18
In this episode Dean retroactively spoils Simon’s dinner by drawing him towards thinking about the media’s behaviour towards the Labour party circa 2016-19. Simon tries to rally by showing Dean a homemade Orville The Duck costume. Will the hosts find cheer by discussing a really old car in the Random Wikipedia Article segment? Dean’s photos from when he visited #guardiancoffee - https://imgur.com/8hzl2q8 and https://imgur.com/tbAcMaP Orville Costume - https://imgur.com/ZFf3LFf https://i.imgur.co...
Nov 02, 2022•52 min•Ep. 17
In this episode, author/podcaster/psychologist/epidemiologist Dr Suzi Gage (Say Why to Drugs) joins Dean and Simon for a lovely time. The three of them discuss cartoon dogs, spewing cat crockery, them things women choose to cover their feet with and the esteemed people of Croydon. Paw Patrol UK voice acting - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQf0Oc6f5VQ&ab_channel=NickJr Puking Kitty Gravy Boat - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Puking-Novelty-Animal-Lovers-Porcelain/dp/B07X2ZFLPV?th=1 Puking Kitty g...
Oct 25, 2022•1 hr•Ep. 16
In this episode, Simon gives name to the (hopefully short-lived) second phase of the podcast before he and Dean tickle their tastebuds with some spicy ice-cream. Sated, they move on to discuss pig pillows and finish off with a focused discussion on telephony technology. Wasabi flavour ice-cream - https://imgur.com/rU9GpTk Pig Trotter Pillow - https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/394129615455?mkcid=16&mkevt=1&mkrid=711-127632-2357-0&ssspo=ueupcokhtfg&sssrc=2047675&ssuid=lu4r0ycmrti&...
Oct 18, 2022•37 min•Ep. 15
In this episode, Dean asks Simon for patience while he explains why he’s chosen his item for the week. He does not receive it. The pair of them then have a look at a short educational/fetish video created by a TV presenter and they finish up by straying off topic instead of discussing what the Random Wikipedia Article was about, as per usual. Alton Towers live queue times - https://queue-times.com/parks/1/queue_times Anthea Turner ‘How to put on a duvet’ - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ecaydP4...
Oct 11, 2022•38 min•Ep. 14
In this episode, Dean describes the plot of the 143-year-old opera “The Pirates of Penzance” to Simon. So, spoiler warning for that. Then they take a look at Phil the Christ Child before embarking on a virtual journey to take in all the sights that Carpinone, Italy, has to offer. Sighing softly to the river - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sf9jXlX6l0A Statue of baby Jesus that looks like Phil Collins - https://nypost.com/2019/11/20/church-builds-huge-baby-jesus-statue-that-looks-like-phil-colli...
Oct 04, 2022•46 min•Ep. 13
In this episode Dean and Simon are joined by comedian Trev Williams (@hamishboot on twitter). These silly men, sat in debilitating heat, have a lengthy late-night chat about predators, burgers, anuses, comic books and the Japanese. No-one kept an eye on the time so it’s a longer episode than usual. Don't get used to it though, I don't have the strength or patience to do that every week. The Nelson’s Column Burger - https://metro.co.uk/2015/02/24/meet-the-nelsons-column-burger-a-foot-tall-10500-c...
Sep 27, 2022•1 hr 25 min•Ep. 12
In this episode, a call-in guest joins the chat to play a little game that Simon invented. Dean shows Simon some of his holiday snaps which feature his hideous replica and then Dean veers into sexy talk while discussing toothbrushes. Everything fizzles out in section three as your hosts try (fail) to think of something to say about a small town they’ve never been to. A sign outside a barber shop in Turkey - https://imgur.com/UcxhD3n A mannequin Dean saw in Turkey - https://imgur.com/dB5AAqA and ...
Sep 20, 2022•40 min•Ep. 11
In this episode the Dean and Simon look further into Fred from Homepride and the sinister advertising campaign he fronted and then they undertake the one chip challenge. Will the hottest Dorito that £5.99 can buy be a heatless waste of money or will it absolutely ruin the pair of them? If they survive will Random Wikipedia finish them off? Homepride advertising campaign ‘Fred About The House’ - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IIlbkUaumgo The one chip challenge – https://onechipchallenge.co.uk A ...
Sep 13, 2022•51 min•Ep. 10
In this episode Simon and Dean discuss horses and the treats they deserve, a look at a scent leads to a grizzly story and then the pair of them enter the realm of the essence of Thong. This episode also features two actual jokes and a noticeable improvement in audio quality from segment two onwards. Bailey’s Horse Treats - https://www.baileyshorsefeeds.co.uk/products/tasty-treats The photo of the bucket dean found - https://imgur.com/H4ApNld ‘Carrot stretches’ - https://www.google.com/search?q=%...
Sep 06, 2022•43 min•Ep. 9
In this episode we welcome our first guest, humourist and educator Dave Steele (Will Riker Sex Beard Podcast). Dean, Dave and Simon discuss the vending machines they’ve enjoyed working with in the past and the tattoos they’d have done if pressed on the matter. Simon lists off some of the top-flight cocktails he remembers drinking and then the gang listen to a slightly comical song. The Video Game Soda Machine Project – https://vgsmproject.com Batman, Shrek and Sonic tattoo - https://imgur.com/BE...
Aug 30, 2022•1 hr 4 min•Ep. 8
In this episode two bald, flabby men in the early forties discuss the trousers that the young people are wearing nowadays, marvel at the tremendous public art on display in Hungary, and then smell their brains burning while discussing something to do with chemistry or something. Extreme distressed jeans - First (cheaper) pair: https://www.emmiol.com/high-waist-expose-frayed-ripped-product239515.html Extreme distressed jeans - Second (pricier) pair: https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/extreme-...
Aug 23, 2022•46 min•Ep. 7
In this episode Dean and Simon witness a load of very famous people fail to cook food properly, ponder whether one of the 20th Century’s most widely read authors murdered one of the 20th Century's most celebrated musicians, and then explore the history of one of the 20th Century’s most loved creatures. They also continuously confuse Jimmy Wales with James Whale but they’ve since realised their error and are ashamed of themselves. Morrisons’ Christmas advert 2007 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v...
Aug 16, 2022•50 min•Ep. 6
In this episode Dean tries to lay the blame for the state of this country on a series of unlikely targets, Simon relates detail of a truly excellent deal for all alco-hounds, and both of them wallow in ignorance like the big smooth pigs they are. Captain Beany – https://captainbeany.com/ Ice Club - https://www.ice-club.co.uk/product-page/big-rocks or https://imgur.com/czyLj7Q Wikipedia: Sam Houston State Bearkats football - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sam_Houston_State_Bearkats_football K.C. K...
Aug 09, 2022•47 min•Ep. 5
In this episode you, the listener, will hear an interesting pitch for the next phase of super-hero movies, meet an important businessman, and then find yourself left slack jawed in wonder as the ‘Random Wikipedia Article’ conversation branches out like a glorious tree. The Jeremy Renner App (via Nathan Rabin’s website) - https://www.nathanrabin.com/happy-place/2019/9/9/hawkeye-misses-the-target-case-file-141my-year-of-flops-ii-38-jeremy-renners-app Man on bike, towing a bucket, carrying a black ...
Aug 02, 2022•43 min•Ep. 4
In this episode Simon’s failure to comprehend Dean’s submission and the general shabbiness of his own offering leads him to spiral downwards to a dark place. Can the listener’s favourite section “Random Wikipedia Article” improve his mood? Have a listen and find out. The Mangosteen Song - https://open.spotify.com/track/0VOrdK6TIeRqp5CMa37HUa?si=880e1cd956da441d Full album ‘Romeo Eats Part 1’ - https://open.spotify.com/artist/5woC1o9bxzyhV7sXR5t5Nd?si=EWox3rb5QV2aOf-zBQUVvA Goose measuring spoon ...
Jul 26, 2022•38 min•Ep. 3
Episode 2: “Technologically impossible and morally sickening” In this episode Simon and Dean balk at the idea of self-awareness as they discuss the importance of releasing your art with a well-thought-out marketing strategy and then they take an in depth look at a disgusting ornament. E=AM2: The Fourteenth Paradigm Shift - https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07964W6N5/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1 Blue Dog Sniffing Ginger Boy’s Ringpiece (Ceramic) – https://imgur.com/yWp2akO Wikipedi...
Jul 19, 2022•42 min•Ep. 2
Episode 1: “Free range heads” Welcome, friends, to Episode 1 of ‘Why does this thing exist? (podcast)’. It’s the podcast where neuroscientist and author, Dr Dean Burnett (names of books Dean wants to flog) and his oldest friend in the world, Simon Feeley (some guff on BBC radios 4 and Wales, years ago) present each other with things, things they find confusing and perplexing, and have a little chat about them. In this episode Simon and Dean discuss a harrowing short film with a familiar soundtra...
Jul 12, 2022•38 min•Ep. 1
Podcasts are very common these days. There are literally dozens of them out there. But most podcasts tend to be about people talking about something they know and care a lot about, in an effort to share their wisdom with the listeners. But what about a podcast that… doesn’t do that? That instead does the opposite? What about a podcast where those responsible actively and knowingly don’t understand the thing they’re talking about? What if that was the whole point? And that’s what this is about. T...
Jul 10, 2022•19 min
