LaRayia Gaston on Embracing Love Without Reason

to have her on today's Holy Humane. Thank Thank you so much for joining me on the Holy Human podcast. I am honored. I'm really honored to talk with you. Um. I think I'll probably cry during this podcast because your work, what you're bringing into this world is so beautiful. And you know, I I think I I feel like I already know you through reading your book. Um, and I think it's just like heart recognizes like heart, and so I just want to say thank you for the work

you're doing the world. It's it's done. Thank you so much for having me here. Yeah. Um, look, you've you've written a book called Love Without Reason The Art of Giving a Fuck, which I think is just a fantastic title, and you You've created a nonprofit called lunch on Me that feeds everyone on skid wrote organic food on the daily. You know, you you have so much going on if I feel like you've almost made love your job, like that's your time job, which I think is so beautiful.

If people are just coming upon you for the first time, how would you describe what you do to people? Lunch on Me are nonprofit love without reason. It's radical philanthropy. It's curated, intentional love. It's love for love's sake. You know, it's an expression. It's creating a voice in spaces that I feel don't always have that, and it's really it's doing the right thing. You know. We serve organic, healthy food. We've set the bar really high because I kind of

you love in that way. So everything is in a space that it's given the best of the best to everyone. Yeah, that's so beautiful. I love that you say you're giving a voice to those who don't have one or are unable to use it, because I you know, growing up with my voice being my my catalyst, you know, as

a as a performer, as a singer. Um, it's been I think one of my missions in my life has been to learn how to utilize my voice not just for singing, but for for other purposes like you know, this podcast and and giving you know, creating a space for community and curiosity and and learning, you know, to be better human beings. So you know, I think that that voice, it's so important. It's so powerful when we're able to to learn to utilize our voices for not

only ourselves but for the betterment of others. So I I really commend you for for that, because that's we don't realize what a gift that is. It's the most powerful I think, you know, between especially when it's connected to our hearts like yours is. Yeah, it's nothing between know which I love. I mean I've always found that on stage when I sing, But I think I'm really starting to learn to utilize that piece of myself. Um, just in the world. I think that's that's what uh

you know, that's what I see you doing. I see you this really beautiful living embodiment of of love, not just the concept of love, but like the the doing and the being in the world. Like love is a verb. I mean, you know, I don't know if love can even be defined. I think that I'm not really sure. I don't know, you know, I don't know if we've ever truly defined it, But I would love to hear what you since you talk about it so much. What love? What?

What that definition is for you? Well? When I think of love, I think of love without reason, like that's the driving force of it. Um. I think that love is the most written about thing of all the universe, and yet very few hold it. And for me, love without reason is loving for love's sake and nothing else, and being not attached to any form of an outcome.

It's an expression. And when I also think of love, um, I don't think you define it as one thing outside out of being a verb in action, because it's been so many different things to so many people. And I think that we have to look at two things, what love has been to us and what we want it to be, And I think that they're very separate, and not enough people put an emphasis on curating love, because if you define love for only what it's been to you and not what you want it to be, I

think it makes it passive. And I don't think love is passive, and I think it needs to be intentional and curated and I think that when we move into that space and we start looking at it as an action, then we can embody it, we can hold it. I don't think a lot of people have got to hold it. Oh wow, that's beautiful, so interesting because what love has been to you because to so many people we confuse

love with many other things, pain, abuse. Um, I know that you read after reading your book, I know that you've experienced that growing up, you know, and and to be able to shift into what you want love to be. How that's that's so powerful? Can you talk about a little bit about what love was to you growing up and how that shift occurred. Yeah. I think that I was given a gift because I learned what love was and what love wasn't at the same time why I was developing. So I think that that gave me an

option to choose. You know, I think I had seen the idea of when love is absent, how corrosive it can be, and when love is present, how infinite it will be. And because I've seen it at the same time, and they were both labeled labeled as love because of who the lessons were coming from, you know, our families. You know, a lot of times that's the first place

we're learning love. And because I learned such contrasting spaces, I think very young, five six years old, I understood clearly what I felt love was, not just by what it was to me, but what I wanted to mean and what I wanted to grab take more towards. And it really was the light, infinite space, not the scarce

space space. And again, when people come from whether it's any form of abuse or neglect or whatever their experiences, I think we have to be very clear in knowing that is not love, that is not you know, it's it's the absence of love. But you know, sometimes it comes in the place that we think. So I think it's very important that we know what love is and what it isn't. And it starts with even if you don't have it, define it for yourself and show up as that first Yeah, because I was gonna say, I

don't think. I don't think all of us get the opportunity to know what it is. We grow up knowing what it's not, but we think that we know what it is. And so when you're saying to know, you gotta you have to know what that love is. I don't know if some people even we know where to begin, you create it for yourself. I think that's why. I think that's why I say love is curated. You know, if you're lucky and you're in, you're rare, you get to experience its entirety, you know. But if you aren't,

that doesn't mean you can't have it. You have to create opportunities of love for yourself. And that's what I've been very adamant about is if it's not there, don't stop there. And you know, when they say be the change, be that love, like I believe that's what it's referring to. I think that sometimes we hear these ideas and because we don't have steps, we get kind of confused. It's muddled with what that means and how to implement it.

But truly um to be able to experience love, you decide what it looks like for you and be that. Because I also think that sets a tone when I think about the dynamics of my life, the people I love, the people that are closest to me, I set a tone. And I decided I wouldn't love to be infinite for us, and so I decided to be that. And it's been that. Yeah, absolutely, um yeah. I have a have a song that I record a long ago called give and it's you know, it says, if you want to get loved and give it,

you know, if it's like you have to. I love setting the tone and I love taking that power um back for ourselves to be able to to set the tone. I know when I walk into spaces, um, especially on airplanes because I used to travel all the time. UM, so there's something that I would do is sit in my seat and then everyone who walked by, I would

just bless them. I feel like when you bring that just consciously, it doesn't have to be you don't have to be telling everybody that you're around, like, oh I'm blessing you today. You know there you think you're nuts, but but it's if you just consciously put yourself in that space, like it's it's amazing what what flows out of that? What opportunities present themselves in front of you? Uh, to be able to give that love to someone else.

And I think that people feel it, you know. I do think love fills up rooms and think that you can feel it, so that intention energetically a hundred I believe in that That's how I feel too, Like I'll go places and I'm like, I hope everyone's good today

or light and they let things go forgive. You can see it in people, you know absolutely, and I God, I feel like when you when you've understood pain, when you truly have understood pain, you just don't want, I know for myself, like I just don't want to see people feeling that, Like I just so deeply want people to be happy. And yeah, I'm going to kind of jump around here a bit because I just flow out

the conversation. I watched your the trailer for your documentary, UM forty three days, and the trailer itself, I watched it three times because I was I was so shook by it in so many ways. Um because because of many reasons, but it just touched my heart so deeply because I think, you know that thought of God, I don't want to see people in pain, and there's so many people in pain. Um. But I there are a

few things that just caught my attention. The artistry, the artistry of these people living on skid row was so incredible, and you know, I almost wonder their their imagination. It's like you can take everything else from these people, but they thought it was so beautiful to see that they still had their imagination and their freedom of expression. And I sat there and wondered, I'm like, are they closer to God than we are? Yes? Yeah, yes, I've seen

God more than any other place. I felt like being in the street that what that is church for me? So I didn't see God in church, but I did see it there. Yeah. Oh my god. That's one of my favorite things that you said, um in your book was that used that that giving to people is your church. And because we we've we've come to I mean I grew up, you know, Southern Baptist, and the church was

somewhere you went on Sunday. It wasn't life like we have we we've we grew up thinking or being taught that it was in a building, or it was in it for a specific moment, reserved for that. It wasn't life. And when you start, I mean, I think the biggest changes that we're going to see is when people start taking church to the streets, church into everyday life where

you that's your worshiping. Yes, that's what I would say, is like what I do and what I'm giving that is my tithing, Like that is how I tie you know, I am not just doing in church, but of course, like I love, I was the church for the music. So but I definitely found the experiences I read biblically, like the things that felt unearthly angelic I've seen in the streets, and that's when I started to connect the

dots for me. Wow, talk to me about a little bit about your documentary and what that experience was like. Because you were you were really close to your grandmother after she passed away. This was some Then you threw your broken heart into was your documentary, and most people wouldn't even think to go down to skid Row to even walk around in that area. And here you are, you know, going to live amongst the people that you serve, which I think is so beautiful to really truly understand

what their life is like. How did that shift? First of all, how did that shift your broken heart? And how did that shift the way that you see life? Well, I I went to skid Row because when my grandmother I passed um. I mean I always knew that that would be the hardest moment of my life for sure, Like I always knew that like being with her. I missed her when I was next to her, you know, I knew that, and so I prayed and I heard

her voice. I heard her. I heard her say go to skid Row, and I was like, you know what, what else do I have to lose? You know, I would do this. And then I was like I had already wanted to, Like there were a lot of super natural things that her that just pointed me to that space. And I was like, you know, what better time my heart? It was like I've always worked and been so goal oriented and working that my heart was so broken. I didn't want to do anything else. Like I was just

like I knew I had time. You know. It was the first time I felt that where my heart was into. So I was like, you know, this is the time to go down there. And when I went there, I thought like, UM, make use of myself. The day my grandmother passed away, I was throwing a party on skit Row and so and so I was already you know, that had happened right shortly before UM. I heard her

take her last breath and then my party started. So it was already I was already in that space when she transitioned, and UM so I was like, Okay, I'm gonna go there and I'm gonna be of service. Like I can't. I'm not the type of person I can sit in my room and be depressed. There's life, you know, life goes on. So I was like, you know what, I can go help people and and we'll see. And

so I decided to do it then. And I literally thought I was go in there to just be of service and to help everyone else, but they helped me. So I think it was the first time I realized like that was the only place that I could that could have cured um my heart, because I think that the message my grandmother was sinding me is nothing's ever lost. It's just redirected and replaced. And the love that you seek here is also all around you. And so I learned that. Um, I learned that in that moment, that

like love is never lost. So I thought it was a lost but it was a redirection of energy. Yeah, absolutely, Oh wow. Um I don't find it. I mean I don't find it ironic. I think it's beautiful that you were throwing a party on skid row at the moment you know, your grandmother passed away. I mean, you know you have said I see your heart so deeply, and

so it's such a beautiful heart. You know, you said how much your grandmother like taught you about love, and then here you are, here, you are just basically living out everything that she taught you. That my that she passed, and that's just like, yeah, I definitely it was weird because I like lost sound like I just remember hearing her last breath and I just couldn't hear anything and I just see like hundreds of flowers and balloons like going and I was just like God hooked in the

space to not be sad. You know, this is like a celebration, and it was one of those like I was like, oh, I thought this was the time you go into the dark place. In my mind, it was this idea of like, for the first time in my life, maybe I can be in a dark place, and I couldn't. I couldn't because it's just so beautiful. Bless bless her like that is just yeah, bless her first for showing you what love is, because she is truly an angel who is you know, paved the way for everything that

you're doing in every life that you're touching. Yeah, you know, in your documentary there was there was this this man who said something so profound and I kept rewinding it back to watch it, and it is, Um, I am not what you think of me. Seek for me, and indecency, find me there in my dignity. Speak to me peacefully. Oh, my soul is involved. And it just breaks my heart because our souls are involved, like no matter what, no matter where we are in this world, no matter what

hardship has come to us. Um, we we are. We might be homeless, but we're not soulless. And God, that just killed me. And it just reminded me, like you know, it just reminds me that that could be any of us. That could be any of us. Gabe, I love. Yeah, his name is Gabe. Oh my god, I love that his name is Gabe. My Um. I had a friend who passed last year from diabetes, very young, and he didn't know he had it and so he was sick

and all of a sudden passed away. Um. And his name was Gabe, and so you just reminded me of him. He's like my little angel and schedrole for sure. I love him. You have no idea. He's like the most gifted lyricist I've ever seen, Yeah, I mean, that's what's so beautiful. I mean, I know I've seen. You know, I started singing. My dad has tapes me singing when I was eighteen months old. Like I mean, I could you couldn't understand the word I was saying, but I was.

When I sang, it was so it was so real and um, even from that young of an age, and I as I've grown older, I've recognized how much art was. Um, it was my my soul's way of you know, of speaking in this world and places and expressing in places where I didn't feel like I could express other places in my life. Like I always joke, you know, if I could sing my life, everything would be perfect because

that she feels like the most honest expression. Um. Sometimes when you know you speak, like sometimes it just doesn't come through. And when I saw the documentary trailer, I was just blown away because it's it just makes you realize how much art is used to soothe. It's a

it's a soothing save to life's pain. And and in the imagination, you know, being so close to God when we are in that form of creation and imagination and the fact that that has not the fact that they go to that so often they're to express is um, it's just powerful, it is. I definitely think yeah, it's. I mean, it's it's unearthly like the things I've seen and experience with them, like just so many street angels, like it's insane and we call them, let me call

them street angels. It's so good they did come street angels. Street definitely, Um, yeah, you see that. And I think that, I mean, even just the most profound lessons. I always say that God sends us profits to skit role for training, and I see it, you know, I see it like the messages, the wisdom, the deep understanding like their understanding of like life and humanity and how we fall short, and the grace that they have, like how they're treated

it's and how they still rise above. It's beyond me, Like it's crazy. It's it's it's something I've seen nowhere else. And on that powerful note, we're going to take a very quick pause, but we'll be right back with more wisdom and insight from Laray Gaston. Welcome back, Loves, and we were just discussing the incredibly profound intersection between scarcity

and the sacred. It's amazing. I think when we have things as you look when things are too completely taken away from you, like where where the soul goes and where the the freedom that it starts to find? And it's you know, I always look around all the things

that we have and here we are. You know, all we're focused on is you know, continuing to have those things, you know, and make to make sure we don't lose that because now we have this sense of like you know, this this sense of safety that um that we continue to try to to uh to keep that up, and that's that becomes our that becomes our drive and our hustle. You know. Yeah, it's liberating. Like I stayed in It's

for forty three days with nothing in it. You know, there's a yoga mat and a sheet and I'm not gonna liry Like the simplicity of just having like my little backpack and nothing else. Now money, nothing, and and just even the resources I had were dependent on there's generosity. So even to see that like oh I don't have water today, but you know in an hour someone will come from a church or a nonprofit or whatever and show up to help. You know, it was. That part

was very liberating, Like I'm not gonna lie. The simplicity of like not having stuff, not accumulating things, not hoarding like it was, it was, that was my favorite part for sure. I mean talk about trusting the universe, I mean you have to. You're talking like moment to moment, being in the moment and trusting that what is your needs will be provided for. I mean we we hear that all the time, you know, like, oh, you know the universe will provide for you, Like sure, okay, yeah,

sometimes it's hard to wrap your mind around that. But when you're in that kind of situation, like your basic needs, you are moment to moment trusting that those will be provided for. Yeah. You I think you definitely in those spaces you kind of have to master faith, right because there's nothing to grab onto, so you don't have a choice. You can only hope for the best. And a lot of times, I mean I definitely can say all my needs were Matt, and I can say that with all

the time. The universe is definitely answering. Yeah you say, um, one of the I think this is really powerful. One of the stories that you tell about you know, you like you just said you didn't have money when you were down there, you went with no money and the panhandling of you know, of asking for money. What was I would love for you to share that experience because

I think it's so powerful. That experience is the reason I wrote my book it well, yeah, I was so that Okay for one, just it helping in a community that's without resources and those things is one thing. When you experience their walk and what they have to go through, it is so eye opening, and not even from the space of like them, but us, like people in the house community, you know, like people having so much and giving so little but deeming themselves good people. And I

it's it's almost like imaginative. I don't know where it comes from, like where these ideas come from, because I

do believe it is actions. And to be in a space where I really thought, like in my mind, I was like I can come up with twenty four dollars, Like I felt like I was like if someone because in my head I really thought humans, I'm like, if we're humble enough to um share our vulnerability and really ask for a need, if you stoop low enough to be that humble right where you're just like, you know what I'm burying what I need that you would think that humans were so good that we wouldn't allow needs

to go and met for someone that's even walking in humility. So in my head, I'm like, okay, like I'm just gonna tell them. And then also I thought about not just that, I'm like, you know, people have reasons why they don't give, they have a problem with addiction, all these things, and I'm like, I'm clearly centered and sound mind in writing, and I just need help. And the fact that no one helped me. Literally I saw five six people in a day. I kept asking everyone told

him what I was doing. I needed twenty four dollars for tarps. It's going to rain, something I never thought about because you don't even think about that in Los Angeles. So the day of course I'm there, it rains, and and everyone said no, like the level of resistance, like the blocks I saw on people's hearts, on their humanity, when I say, I was so shattered. I went through

every range of emotions. I was angry at humanity. I mean, I understood why people when I'm like when people are screaming in the street, said I can understand when you get to the point where you're just like I'm hurting, I'm without what I'm asking for. You lose like you know, you'll lose in your laundry, like it's something you would never even miss. The level of the energy that went into resisting helping was the part that I was just shot.

I didn't think that people and maybe I'm far removed because I don't live in that way at all, But the problem is the majority speaks for what's going on. So it's like it doesn't matter that I've you know, I'm the aunt going left. It's like, where's everyone else going? And I was so hurt because we don't help. I realized how far removed people are from their hearts, and

that to me is so taxing on our soul. So it wasn't just you know, just like it wasn't just that they didn't help me, but it's like, what do you think that's chip, chip chipping away at for your

own self? Yeah, Well, it's so interesting that you said, you know, the vulnerability piece and needs, because I don't know if most of humanity is even in touch with what their needs are themselves and their own vulnerability and so to even ask for I mean, I you know, I talk a lot about mental health because I've dealt with it my whole life, and um, you know, just the stigma like an asking for help when we are in when we are suffering. I mean we're just now

starting to break that down. And so if you really think about it, like most people aren't in touch with needs and to see someone else asking, it's almost like I wonder, I wonder if it's like hits this like core shame in all of us that we just wall we just wall ourselves up and they're like, oh no, I can't. I don't want to look at that. I don't want to deal with that because I have to touch on me the places that are hard to touch. And I mean that's the problem. Nothing should be in

between us and our hearts. Nothing. Yeah, you know, it shouldn't be accepted. And it's one of those like I understand it, but I don't accept it, yeah, completely. And it's like that's where we have to do the inner work because when I see that the only two people that helped me were homeless, and so I think the worst part was like I'm getting upset and I'm like, go sit down and a corner because I'm like, humans

are really hurting my feelings right now. So I'm in a space where I'm like, Okay, I gotta I like, I literally tell myself I have to center myself because I'm like if I can't respond in a place of love, like I had to focus because I'm getting a little snappy, I'm getting a little upset. So I'm like literally put my little sad looking love without reason box. I have a little box that I made myself that literally said love with that reason. I hopefully people don't understand. Like

just to get I put my box down. My head's down because I'm trying to center myself, and then like change just drops in my in my box. And when it happened, like that change was so much bigger than pocket change. It was a restoration of humanity, the idea of like someone didn't let me down. And when I look, it's he looks like a retired war vet. He's scooting away and he just like puts the change in. He just just going and I just like start crying. I

can't even move, Like I'm literally like paralyzed. I can't even move because I can't believe it's street ham. I can't believe the person that shows up for me is the person who has nothing. And so my friend that was fielming, this was we were doing this all when we were on skin roll. My friend Nima that was filming. He's like far away, like filming in the cut, and I'm like telling him. I'm like crying. I'm like, go get that guy, like you'll get him, because in my head,

I'm like I can't take a change. I don't even care, like I'm gonna be in the rain, Like I just can't take this man's money, you know. And so Nema grabs him and ask him like why did you get to her? And he's like because I've been there so many times. It's like I know that. And he like gives me hug and he goes it's gonna be okay, and I'm crying. So he just I can't even get the words out. So he thinks I'm crying because I'm upset, but I'm crying because I can't believe that he would.

I can't believe his spirit, you know. I'm just like done. And so I tell him and and it was just he connected. There was nothing, and there was nothing in front of his heart. Nothing. You know, what do you think is stunting us from that growth? What do you think is the is the thing that is keeping us from getting in touch with that deeper place in ours? It's discipline. I think that the problem is anything we want to master, anything we want to be great at,

comes with a discipline. And I think that we need to look at love, our vulnerability, our relationships itself. It's a discipline. You don't magically get there. I think again, it's all intentional, you know, And I think that we don't put that same time. If I want to be loving, if I want to be forgiving, if I want to be vulnerable, I better have a blue plan for that, you know, a day to day discipline and action. What is going on with the racing, just like what's happening.

Maybe they're in agreeance with us. They just want to be They just want to be a part of our conversation. So that's I agree. And so I think that it is a discipline, and I think that that's what's getting in our way ourselves, because we are not prioritizing those things. Everything else is important. But but the thing is what makes that so important? Is the more we grow, the more we become better. Everyone around us benefits from it.

Every interaction benefits from it. It's like when we grow, not just for ourselves, but to navigate in a lighter, more healthy way. You know, the world is benefiting from that space, that growth, mastering those things. And so I think that's that's a part of the core issue. We have to curate things. We have to make it intentional, all of it. Yeah, I mean, I your yeah, intentions

such a huge piece of that. And I I know for my own self, my own experience, Like I know when my heart's closed, you know, And I know what that feels like, and it's painful. It's painful, and I've walked around living like that a lot of my life,

you know. And I and then I know in my heart's open and the freedom and that and the joy and that and and I You're right about the intention and the discipline, because something can happen, whatever it may be, that trigger is and instantly like our hearts closed, and I can, I mean, I can walk around in that space for a while without if I'm not intentional and aware of it, you know, uh, to be able to you know, I get lost in that space again, basically

it's your It's almost like it's our default setting. Right, So in us you're unless you're aware, unless you have practices that are cultive. You're cultivating um to bring us back into our heart space. There's it's so easy just to get lost. Yeah, And the more you practice, I think what happens is like practice habits um. You know that discipline, it eventually becomes innate. So when once you've practiced being open more than you have being closed, that

becomes your default setting. But you have to recognize you have to get there. Yeah, you know you don't. You gotta get there. You gotta put the miles in, you know. And so that's important. I think that to be loving, to be patient, I have to practice patience. To have deep understanding, I have to seek understand like those are things that we I do believe we have to do. Yeah, I am in the morning. I I love a course

in Miracles. I know you you've quoted some of that in your book, UM, and I think that it's such a beautiful book. And I pray one of my favorite prayers in the in the courses, where would you have me go? What would you have me do what would you have me say? Into whom? And every morning when I wake up, it's the first thing that I pray, and it's it's the to me. It's my way of putting my mind and my my vessel into the into

being a walking miracle. I you know, I always think that we always ask for our prayers to be answered, but we forget to be We forget that we can be the answer to someone else's prayers. We forget that we can be used and utilized in that way. You know, what are what are some of them? That's that's kind of my way of getting in touch with it in the morning. First thing, What are what are some of your ways that you you know, can that you get

connected with it. I mean, I feel like now you're just like a walking You're like you don't even need to be connected with that, you just all the time. But I feel like, you know, maybe other people are like, you know, how do I how do I continue or how do I start my day? Or you know, stay connected to that mindset of giving an openness. Well, I think it starts well, I think it starts with micro gestures. And that's kind of like how um I like to articulate it. For me, it's those acts have to have

have to happen every day. So for me to create a habit or to make something innate, I have to do it every day. Doesn't take much time. Um, but one of the things I like to do. I mean, it's simple, but it's the curating experiences, curating love, whether it's putting your phone down with you when you're with people you love and giving you your undivided attention. It's getting into a space where we recognize, for one, we have to be present to even do these things, you

have to be present, you know. And that's Buddhist philosophy. That's a lot of different things being grounded U. So being present is one of the first things I do. I can't be that miracle or curate that love if I don't even know what's in front of me. And a lot of times I think my focus has always been to train my mind. Like Michael jesters are important because you train your mind to find the opportunities where

you can do good. When I'm at a coffee shop, I order coffee, whoever is behind me, I'm like, hey, can you put your order on my tab? I want to buy you coffee. It doesn't matter who it is, and I'm just like, you know, it's one of the things I like to do. And that's such a super quick, curated love moment because everyone it's it's simple. Everyone likes to feel loved, nurtured, taking care of scene and that

simple thing. It doesn't matter where you sit financially, if you have a lot of you have a little someone doing that for you. It's it's the energy and intention of someone just wanting to love on you and be kind. And so those are small things I do. You know, I keep five dollars in my bag because sometimes I don't have time to grab food for someone. You know, it might be street fan that's like, hey can you

grab me? And I'm like, tear take this money, go get it like or if I have time, I'm like, hey, come in the store with me and order whatever you want. But um, I'm very intentional about how I walk this world and what my interactions can be and always showing up for people. And of course I'm still learning so much when it comes to these things. The same things that I've written about, I've had to implement every day and learn that those are the things that that become

better and better and easier. But I think it starts small, and I think it doesn't start with the love we reserve for our families. They already have that. I'm there's a whole world around us that could use that same love. I believe there isn't a place love shouldn't be or should occupy. And I think that again, those are the intentions and it's all small acts. I don't think that. Sometimes we think of this like grand gesture, this big thing, and I think it's a collection of what we do daily.

I think that's what changes everything, because those are the interactions. We focus so much on what's next, but what's in front of us? Is there something I can do for the person in front? I mean, I think that's also has to do with developing being attentive. I'm very attentive to everyone around me, their needs, their wants, ways I can you know, sometimes when you like how you said, people don't know what they want. Sometimes we gotta show them.

Everyone wants love, that wants attention, you know, and and

sometimes it's like, you know, it's good. Like Collie Griban says in Um one of his poems, it's good to give one asked, it's better to give unasked the understanding, And I believe in that, you know, that's the attentiveness that needs to happen, you know, because you're seeking to have a deeper understanding in a better way to serve that What what you kind of touched upon this briefly, But what are some of the biggest misticanceptions when it

comes to giving that you come in contact with. I think that, well, there's two things, and I talked about that in the book. I think that when it comes to giving, we come there's only two places. I think we pull from um a mindset of abundance or a mindset of a scarcity. So I think a lot of times you have one giver who gives because they feel it's an infinite thing, you know, it's just like an infinity sign. It's always going to be a cycle. And then you have a person that believes if they give,

they'll never have enough for themselves. And I think that you have to think about those things giving, which one could which one would contribute to our happiness, you know, and which one is more taxing to the soul. And I think that starting before people even give, that's I feel like those are the two mindsets that I hear from people. And I think that when people come from the space of scarcity has nothing to do with how much they have. It has to do with their mindset

about what they have. You know, some of the origins people I know operate from the place of scarcity, and some of the poorest people I know, financially poor, operate from abundance that there will always be for everyone. So I think that to give, we also have to know where we're pulling from, because sometimes people give from that scarcity, and I don't know how holy that is. I don't know if that's coming from a high energetic place and if that's even fulfilling or they feel like they're just

they're just it's almost like an ego need. Like you said earlier, they call themselves good people. So if I'm gonna call myself a good person, that now it might have to give every once in a while, and it's important. I know you touched upon this too, like the energetics of giving is as important, if not more important, than they give itself. Yeah, and it's just an expression of freedom. Like I feel like when we give, it feels if you get past yourself and that ecospace and all that.

It's so innate to us. Like you see children on the playground, they don't they don't give or share to be good. It's literally innate to them, you know. That's why kids want to play, and it's it's obviously a completely different interaction than adults have, but if you see it, it's just it just seems more natural to us to give, to share, to coexist in harmony. And I think that that's where we also have to pull from, especially when

it comes to giving. It does feel amazing energetically when you get past your own self and all your defenses, because we can articulate every single reason why we don't want to give. But I think if we just limit down, does that feel good to you? Like we're inside of you? Does that feel good? Because there's so much energy that goes into stopping ourselves from giving when it's like, no, just give because you can and do it with joy, you know, And I feel like that's important. There's nothing

too big and too small. I think it's the energy that's present in it. Find buying someone's coffee, it's with my whole heart, you know. It's like I'm buying up the bar. Pick whatever you wanted, the menu, you want almond milk, you got it. It's just from the it's just from that space of like I just want to be good to you. And this is where we're going to take a quick break for just a minute. But I promise Morgan this as soon as we return. Welcome

back everyone. Laria and I were just discussing how truly in our nature it is to be generous. It's so interesting. I had this huge epiphany the other day about anxiety for myself and I was like, some of the some of the greatest anxiety for me is when I recognize that I am closing myself down and that I am, like you said, it takes so much energy, so much energy too to protect ourselves, you know. And and when that love flows like there's God you're talking, you know,

there there is freedom. That is freedom is to allow you know, that love to flow outward um effortlessly and without expectation. I think that expectation pieces such a huge thing. Uh, an expectation, you know, a lot of us are afraid, you know, to get taken advantage of and we think that you know, you're talking about being attentive to people,

and hear so much about like this codependent society. We can't be codependent, we can't like and I almost feel like it almost stops us from from being attentive, you know, all of all of these things you're talking about, Like, it's just so easy for It's so easy. Yeah, it's so easy for us to spire. Absolutely, and yeah, I mean it really is. It just it's become our habit.

It's becomes it is. And like when you when you brought up anxiety, the first thing I thought was, that's your soul giving you an alarm for your actions being betrayal. I think it's a betrayal and I think that our souls trying to get our intention. So I definitely think that that's what that's connected to. I feel like the less we betray ourselves, a less anxiety will hold. Um. I also think that when we come from the space of being taken advantage of, we come from the space

of scarcity. M hmm. That's so. And it's one of those so what so what if your love isn't used, does that mean you shouldn't put it somewhere? Should it just stay inside of you? It's about love being expression of verbs, and we are full of love and it

needs a place to go. Yes, it's energy, and that's like when it's not used, it's like I feel like needs again, that's why you have to be So that's why I believe, Like like I said, the definition of love without reason is not being attached to the outcome to love for love sake and nothing else. Because you have love and it needs somewhere to go, and you can only hope. I hope how the things I do that, um, you know, they will see the light of day or someone will hold it in the same expression as me.

But that does not take away for me wanting to show up and give love. And a lot of times when people don't hold the love that I want to give them, I hurt for them because I know I can see the guard between them and their heart. You know. It's like there's a quote that says, you build wall so tall you can't even climb them, and that hurts because I see the pain. I've never met someone who was guarded, who was just filled with joy. I haven't

seen that, you know. And so sometimes when my love is rejected or misunderstood, I have pain for them because I'm holding a gift that they can't even see because they put so many things in front of their heart, you know, and so a lot of times we can

have sympathy. It's like the idea that um, I don't know who said it was someone it was Mariann Williamson where she said anything that's not of love as a cry out for love, and so it's like sometimes it's foreign or one thing I had to learn was when our love can be viewed as not um as as not being used or taking advantage. Sometimes it's a foreign thing and it's a first encounter. Sometimes you don't even know what to do with it because you've never seen

it before. Absolutely, So it's like just what I've learned is when I've been foreign to people, giving up robs me of the joy. Because even with Street fam, you know, there were people that I met where I was there first encounter of love, but my consistency broke the barriers. Leve will break through anything. Leve will break through anything. But I think that's where the idea of like love being patient is so important and also coming from the

space when I'm rejected. I kind of like it, like Loki it's kind of turned into especially on skin Row and like dealing with my street fan and strangers. I really like it because I helped them work through those barriers because I know that the person that gives me the hardest time is the most loving. Like I have a guy that's just, oh my god. He he used to be a nightmare. He used to be such a nightmare and so mean to me. And I would always

tell him, it's okay, I'll see you tomorrow. I'm trying tomorrow. And I would constantly do it, and I would just bother him to the to the point where like now he can't leave without hugging me, and like and he won't let go. And he's like this big tough guy that like cusses war again, another war vet working a lot of vets and so and older guys. And now it's like we there's a part of his heart that just he's reserved for us. And it's so beautiful to

see because but it wouldn't have happened. I wouldn't have carried out the action of love through patients and consistency. And I'm just like, it's okay. And again that that comes with deep understanding that what he's doing. His rejection wasn't to me. He was rejecting his own self, you know. And so like when you look at that, then it's like, no, they can't take advantage of you. They're actually hurting themselves.

And that's what we need to get through. Like when I saw like those moments, I'm telling you, the hard ones, the bad apples, like those are the ones that are the most golden, the most golden, the four agreements basically like one of them, you know, don't take anything personally and that's that's it. No, Yeah, I really don't. Like I just have conversations by myself. I'm just like it's okay, I'll knock on the heart. I'll nock on the door

of your heart again tomorrow. I'll go this again. Or even like certain people like my attorney is not She wasn't the softest person when I met her, and I was with her yesterday and um, I was just like, I'm gonna hug you now, and she's just like sitting there and I just put my arms around her shoulder and I hold her a little longer like where it was probably uncomfortable for her, and I just feel her like melt you know, even though there's like all these cards,

you know, she's been an l A attorney for so long as all these cards, and I'm just like, I love that because I know that that love or those barriers like there's a place for it to go. And I think that we also have to work with each other and be kind and patient and understanding that we are trying to figure it out. And when someone knows or has a little more experience in something, then you know, you curate it, you set the tone right. I would love for you to tell talk to everyone about the

three bees because that's I think so important. Will you walk me through what those are? Yeah? So um when writing out like Michael gestures and things that I think they're very important what we're doing, of course, being mindful, intentional and generous. Um. The reason that those things are important to me is, for one, generous because so many people, like my experience with trying to get twenty four dollars,

people are not generous. And that's something I think that we all have to work on because if we want to be good people, or if we even if we believe in this trend of gratitude, that's an action and so it's like, you're gonna have to be generous. Like that is the action of like if I'm going to be grateful, I have to act gratefully And a lot of that has to do with like give the and

that's what generosity says. And then just being mindful. I think the reason that is so important is we think ourselves out of half the things we won't do before we even get to a point of action, like you said, like when we talked about the spiral, like the the idea of the spiral, it's like, before we even get a chance to do something, even if it's being vulnerable, what do we do Half the time we don't call right, It's like, hey, call first, it's gonna be you gotta,

you gotta, You've got to When that that first feeling comes in of like I want to be vulnerable, I want to give, it's like you need to act on it right. Then to impulsive, completely impulsive, don't completely the opposite of everything everyone else has told you. Yes, you have to be impulsive when it comes to that, because those are your your actions, your feelings in your heart, you know. And so that mindfulness is important because we do have to train our minds to come from that

space of infinite abundance um not scarcity. So there's a lot of reframing that has to happen mentally. That's why being mindful is important, because we have to be aware of what we tell ourselves, you know, the stories we tell ourselves. And I think that once we take a moment to say like, Okay, I'm gonna be present, I'm not going to talk myself out of things. I'm gonna do it. When I think about that with microL gestures, for me, a lot of people don't know how to

talk to people, especially strangers. So that mindfulness of get out of your own head and get into the world and just silence that and be present and allow you know, yeah and yeah, and observe, like, observe what's in front of you, what's happening, listen, training with the energy as well. And then the reason being intentional is important is know why you're doing what you're doing, the root of it, where is it coming from the root. And for me,

I'm very detached to a reason. I mean that's why I, like I said, I believe in love without reason is because it's this feels right. I don't have to have a motive like it feels right, energetically, spiritually, heart work. It feels right. And that's why I think that intention of I have love to give, and I'm going to give it. I don't think that it needs to be any further than that. Not who you are to me, Not you know I should No, no, no, This is the right thing to do. It feels right, and my

intention is to share love. And I can only hope that's why you have to be detached to the outcome. I can only hope you'll meet me halfway. I love that. Yes, so beautiful. I can talk love with you all day. I write so much about it, you know, it's it's just it's it's what I want to put into the world too. I think, you know, when when I think about what anchors me and my my mission in this world is to to bring more love, you know, and

too into people's hearts, you know. I I'm so blessed that with my gift I can I can go into those places where most people don't, you know, they don't touch that. And it's I love that about music. It's so beautiful too, you know, to be blessed with that gift and you know. I love that. You said you went to church for the music, so you must have you must have some love for music. I always ask, I might ask my my guests. Um, it's do something called the Holy five, which is basically, you know, maybe

it's five songs on your playlist right now. Maybe it's five songs that you, you know, grew up listening to, Like what are what would be your Holy five? And why oh my God? So well? The first song I think of is Bill Withers. Um, He's one of my favorite song ladies, Bill Weathers, Can we pretend? I don't know that song? I'm gonna have to listen to that as soon as we get off, so you listen to it today. Okay, I'm gonna do that, Bill Weathers, Can we pretend? Because I love Sundays and that's like my

Sunday shower. You know Vinyl like Hellove, the Pain is Gone and Gone. That song just really makes me feel about like just soundtrack to life. Um. I love when I'm in my emotions Chris Stapleton Sometimes I cry, yes, cry, I love that song. I just voice is so stunning. His voice is crazy, his voice is crazy. I love him. Um, I love Miles davis version of Summertime Oh Yeah, and jazz is my favorite genre of music, so I definitely I grew up listening to like Duke Ellington Miles Davis um,

so I just anything Miles. But for me, Summertime it's my favorite song, especially because I also loved slave literature, so that song definitely makes me think of that time. Luther Vandel's Never Too Much because I just feel like that's my happy song. I feel like every time I hear that when it comes to love, I feel like it's so vulnerable. It sounds on how you feel. And then I would say a song it's not by him because Jeff Buckley wrote but um Kenny Lattimore's version of

Everybody Here Wants, Oh Wow, thank you. I'll just chill once again. Song I don't Know, Oh my god, no, no, no, I have so many songs like you don't understand. Music is like my other love. We're trading playlist after this. Yes is so good. Please listen to those songs, okay and tell me how you felt. Okay, I will. I so have enjoyed speaking with you. Thank Oh my god,

I loved it. You're amazing. I would love to come volunteer with what you're doing because it just has so moved me, and yeah, I would love to get involved, So come to Vegan Burgers with us. I'm down, absolutely so nice to meet you. Thank you so much for being on here. Thank you so much for having me. We'll talk soon for sure. Thank you. And that wraps

up this episode of Holy Human. I hope you enjoyed listening to this conversation as much as we enjoyed having it, and I'd love to hear from you too, so just hit me up in the comments wherever you're listening, and please fore free to afford this to anyone you think would benefit from Mary Bye. On the next episode of Holy Human, you'll meet the man dedicated to helping you heal your trauma and live your true purpose, the very inspiring Maston Kip, a man recognized as a thought leader

for the next generation. I know you guys are going to really love this episode, so tune in until then. I wish you all love. Holy Human with Me. Leanne Rhymes is a production of I Heart Radio. You'll find Holy Human with Leanne Rhymes on the I Heart app Apple podcast or wherever you get the podcast That Matter most to you,