The phone number we’ve been accidentally sitting on this whole time is finally called, and the voice on the other end is a shock to say the least. Is this really the work of one person? Or could there be a wider network of mayonnaise molesters operating within Detective LK’s inner circle? We return to the Red Light District to question a dangerously familiar suspect from Season 1. And then… the ambush. But when the moment comes, will the target walk straight into our trap or will he come prepare...
May 06, 2026•50 min•Season 3Ep. 25
Detective Lauren Kilby is no longer just a detective. She is now a victim. Three anonymous deliveries. Unsolicited and increasing in size. Containing a substance that she hates more than anything… Mayonnaise. Someone in her inner circle is behind this, testing her, messing with her. Seeing if she can finally crack a case for once. Then, a suspect from Season 1 resurfaces, and things get complicated. And very personal. Someone out there is watching. We don’t know who. We don’t know why, but we do...
Apr 22, 2026•40 min•Season 3Ep. 24
A bachelor party at a beach house in Florida takes a sinister turn when someone leaves behind more than just memories. At 4.30am the groom-to-be entered the kitchen and discovered a silver service cloche covering something that nobody ordered. There’s only one way to find out what truly went down that night, and it may or may not follow standard police procedure… The next case opens April 23rd. Support us on Patreon http://patreon.com/whoshatontheflooratmywedding Follow us on Instagram @whoshato...
Apr 08, 2026•51 min•Season 3Ep. 23
The final showdown with Dave. Detective Lauren Kilby goes full bad cop and takes zero prisoners. The clock is ticking and everything's on the line: friendship, ethics, survival, breasts and most importantly closure. Boob Bandit, IT'S TIME. The next case opens on 9th April. Support us on Patreon http://patreon.com/whoshatontheflooratmywedding Follow us on Instagram @whoshatontheflooratmywedding for case evidence and behind-the-scenes Sound design by @avaud.io Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privac...
Mar 26, 2026•48 min•Season 3Ep. 22
Amber reveals who she caught chewing outside the shelter in the dead of night. Steven and Waz are brought in for questioning. One thing is clear. All evidence and suspicion leads to one suspect. Dave. He's stayed silent for as long as he could. But nobody can stay silent forever... Part Three - the grand finale - is out now. Support us on Patreon http://patreon.com/whoshatontheflooratmywedding Follow us on Instagram @whoshatontheflooratmywedding for case evidence and behind-the-scenes Sound desi...
Mar 26, 2026•39 min•Season 3Ep. 21
In 2022, six elite survivalists were clinging to life in the Peruvian Amazon after 39 days of extreme survival. Starving and desperate, one of them shot down a huge turkey-like bird. They put it in a pot to simmer through the night, and fell asleep dreaming of the meal that would carry them to the finish line. But by morning, their shelter had transformed from a place of trust and family… into a crime scene. The pot, once filled with hope, was now missing one and a half breasts. The jungle might...
Mar 12, 2026•51 min•Season 3Ep. 20
It all ends today*. It's time to chase down the last two remaining leads in our frantic mission to get justice for João; Ana from the Slovenian chain, and Joanna from the Dutch chain. Will they lead us to the source of the lie or to to João's parents? A shocking confession from a superspreader reveals how his fake story reached millions. And to close the case, we launch a social experiment designed to rewrite the future of this legend. We didn't think it would end like this but here we are... Th...
Feb 26, 2026•1 hr 1 min•Season 3Ep. 19
After asking listeners to submit their own versions of this story, we start building a global timeline. One that tracks how this story mutated and spread across borders and decades. Then we find it. A newspaper article from 1904. Suddenly João is the least of our problems. And just as we're ready to give up (again)… a key witness steps forward. The finale of Doggy Bag is out on 26th Feb. Support us on Patreon http://patreon.com/whoshatontheflooratmywedding Follow us on Instagram @whoshatontheflo...
Feb 12, 2026•42 min•Season 3Ep. 18
The long awaited investigation returns in our attempt to finally find Justice for João. At the end of Doggy Bag Part 2, we put out a call to listeners across the world asking for any leads connected to this story. What came back was nothing short of shocking. This is the episode where myth meets evidence. Where coincidence becomes pattern. And where we start to believe this story could actually... be true. Doggy Bag Part 4 is out on 12th February. Support us on Patreon http://patreon.com/whoshat...
Jan 29, 2026•44 min•Season 3Ep. 17
Contact is finally made with the sole witness to this crime - a small leopard gecko who goes by the name Persephone. And against all odds, she leads us directly to our prime suspect. The only person who fits this crime perfectly, with both motive and intent. But when the suspect is finally confronted, a confusing confession sends us spiralling. Reality starts to wobble. And we are left asking ourselves some very serious questions including but not limited to: have we been out-detectived by a gec...
Jan 15, 2026•35 min•Season 3Ep. 16
What kind of criminal breaks into your home… and cleans it? When a man from Massachusetts leaves the house with his son, he returns to a scene of domestic disturbance. Floors scrubbed. Surfaces polished. Toys in his son’s room neatly rearranged, and intricate toilet paper roses left in the bathrooms. Nothing stolen. Nothing damaged. Just a mysteriously cleaned house, with no explanation why. At first, this appears to be a hopeless case with no leads, no motive and zero suspects. But things take ...
Dec 31, 2025•40 min•Season 3Ep. 15
How good are we at solving crimes… statistically speaking? After several months of operating the Unqualified Detective Agency, we finally attempt to answer the question no one asked but everyone fears: what is our actual crime-solving success rate? A supposedly simple calculation quickly descends into bickering, selective memory, creative accounting, and a spirited debate over what should and definitely should not count as “solved”. To restore order, we bring in a professional statistician to cr...
Dec 18, 2025•24 min•Season 3Ep. 14
On 14th December 2019, a child-sized decorative Santa vanished from The Strawberry Hall pub in Dublin. But this wasn’t your average festive felony. Within 24 hours, photos of the kidnapped Santa began appearing on a dedicated Instagram account, mocking the pub, and taunting Ireland. And then came the twist no one was prepared for. Santa wasn’t just stolen… he was being held for ransom. For €5,000, to be precise. As the investigation deepens, the plot thickens with every clue. Was this the work o...
Dec 18, 2025•46 min•Season 3Ep. 13
In the tense finale of Rural Rectal Rampage, we finally meet the shadowy figure pulling the strings behind the entire scandal. A seemingly simple confrontation unravels into something far more complex… an unexpected motive that forces everyone to rethink everything they thought they knew about the crime… and about themselves. As we piece together the true intent behind the Rampage, we arrive at a dangerous crossroads: is our duty simply to solve crimes…or has this investigation pushed us toward ...
Dec 04, 2025•31 min•Season 3Ep. 12
A prime suspect suddenly blocks Karen from all form of communication, disappearing without a trace. Meanwhile, a reckless pyramid scheme involving teenagers spirals wildly out of control, taking the case to fresh levels of unprofessionalism. Desperate for answers, Karen takes stalking to bold new heights, while Lauren conducts a final high pressure interrogation that could make or break the entire investigation. Who truly set the Rural Rectal Rampage in motion, and what twisted mind wakes up one...
Dec 04, 2025•35 min•Season 3Ep. 11
The investigation reaches new levels of desperation. We find ourselves loitering outside a school, attempting to brief two teenagers on an undercover mission. We consult a nurse about the medical implications of anal insertions. And out of nowhere, a mysterious stranger appears with divine intervention. But nothing prepares us for the final question....is this scandal confined to Chipping Norton…or is it far bigger than we ever imagined? Support us on Patreon http://patreon.com/whoshatonthefloor...
Nov 20, 2025•42 min•Season 3Ep. 10
The quiet streets of Chipping Norton are no longer at peace. A phantom prankster - or an organised ring of pranksters - is targeting local stores and tagging innocent household items with stickers that say “for rectal use only.” As the town’s elderly residents grow increasingly distraught, the pressure mounts on Detective LK and KW to put an end to the madness. Follow us on Instagram @whoshatontheflooratmywedding for case evidence and behind-the-scenes. Sound design by @juanthummler Hosted on Ac...
Nov 06, 2025•37 min•Season 3Ep. 9
Just as Detective LK and KW thought they were closing in on the truth, one shocking revelation blows the whole case wide open. Confusion mounts, new leads emerge, and a tender goodbye is said to Joao, the four legged creature at the heart of the story. Buckle up for the ride - the mystery of this canine's demise is far from over. Follow us on Instagram @whoshatontheflooratmywedding for case evidence and behind-the-scenes. Sound design by @juanthummler Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for m...
Oct 22, 2025•42 min•Season 3Ep. 8
Through a dark twist of fate a dead dog named Joao vanishes in the most unlikely theft imaginable. A bizarre mistake spirals into a rollercoaster of chaos, deception, and the relentless hunt for answers. Each revelation pulls us deeper into shadows where nothing is as it seems. Set against the glittering façade of Paris’s Champs-Élysées, one haunting question lingers: will justice for Joao ever be found? Follow us on Instagram @whoshatontheflooratmywedding for case evidence and behind-the-scenes...
Oct 08, 2025•46 min•Season 3Ep. 7
Veronica’s Saturday morning began like any other, quiet and unremarkable. But by midday, her home had transformed from a place of comfort to a scene of unspeakable violation. The dishwasher, once a symbol of cleanliness, was now a crime scene. Who shat in Veronica's dishwasher and why? A simple yet extremely effective process of elimination proving that we are really good detectives, will uncover the shocking truth. Follow us on Instagram @whoshatontheflooratmywedding for case evidence and behin...
Sep 24, 2025•51 min•Season 3Ep. 6
In the trial of Human v. Bear, Karen and Detective LK face the intense challenge of becoming opposing lawyers. Will the bears 'zips' be the defence's downfall? Will the muffin top theory topple the prosecution? What will the jury decide? One thing is clear. A verdict will be reached. And there is a lot at stake. Follow us on Instagram @whoshatontheflooratmywedding for case evidence and behind-the-scenes. Sound design by @juanthummler Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....
Sep 10, 2025•45 min•Season 3Ep. 5
In 2023, photos of a sun bear at Hangzhou Zoo in Eastern China broke the internet. Why? Because the bear was waving and looked suspiciously like a bloke in a ill-fitted bear suit. But what is the truth, is this an authentic sun bear or a human in disguise? To get to the bottom of it, the unqualified detectives call in the experts: animatronic bear suit specialist Nik Williams and Dr. Wong, CEO of the Bornean Sun Bear Foundation. But the deeper they dig, the stranger it gets. Suspicions, motives,...
Aug 28, 2025•39 min•Season 3Ep. 4
What is the correct etiquette when facing a digestive dilemma at a wedding? How should the poopetrator at Andrea's wedding have acted to maintain grace and dignity after committing their fecal felony? Detective Lauren Kilby and Assistant to the Detective Karen Whitehouse interview William Hanson - the UK's leading etiquette expert and co-host of legendary podcast 'Help I Sexted My Boss' to get some answers. If you are thinking of becoming a poopetrator, this episode is for you. Tune in now to le...
Aug 13, 2025•20 min•Season 3Ep. 3
The race to unmask the poopetrator ends here. In the finale of Fecal Fugitive, Detective LK and Assistant to the Detective KW follow the final leads to flush out the truth. One suspect is released from custody. Another faces the the cold, harsh reality of the evidence against them. In the final interrogation, the motive for the crime is revealed. And a family once torn apart by a fecal disaster is reunited through closure and understanding. Check out the special Fecal Fugitive bonus episode whic...
Aug 13, 2025•48 min•Season 3Ep. 2
A dream wedding in the woods takes a filthy turn when a guest leaves more than just memories behind. With the cops refusing to investigate, the detectives race to unmask the poopetrator. Was it the wedding bean obsessed brother-in-law? A bridesmaid in political sweatpants? There’s only one way to find out, and it may or may not follow standard police procedure. Follow @whoshatontheflooratmywedding for case evidence and behind-the-scenes Sound design: @juanthummler Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/...
Jul 30, 2025•35 min•Season 3Ep. 1
WE’RE BACK! This season, ‘Detective’ Lauren Kilby and Assistant to the ‘Detective’, Karen Whitehouse, return to take on a fresh batch of ridiculous mysteries and listener-submitted non-crime crimes from around the world. Our case selection criteria is simple: “anything the cops laugh at is a case for us.” We give ourselves 24 hours to crack each case, and that’s because time is money but also because precision / professionalism are overrated. Follow @whoshatontheflooratmywedding for case evidenc...
Jul 22, 2025•5 min
In this special bonus episode, the team reveal their biggest failure of Season 2. How did they end up in the middle of nowhere in Sweden, with Karen directing a musicless fashion show with 13 models who are all wearing Hawaiian shirts? One thing becomes extremely clear - not all failure leads to success. Follow us on instagram for the case evidence and behind the scenes. And if you’re the victim of a non crime crime, and want to submit your case for pro bono detective services, please report it ...
Feb 13, 2025•22 min•Season 2Ep. 12
If you've always wondered what would happen if we joined forces with the lovely ladies behind 'Drunk Women Solving Crime' in front of a live audience, then wonder no more, because that's exactly what we did, and you can listen to the outcome in this special one-off collab episode. Tune in to hear us attempt to crack a rather unusal case with theories involving wolverines, mittens and of course class A Drugs. Follow us on instagram to check out the behind the scenes pictures from the show. Hosted...
Aug 28, 2024•57 min•Season 1Ep. 14
In the dramatic finale of The Case Of The Tiny Suit/Case, Detective Lauren Kilby and her assistants finally get answers and resolution to the case. Who was the mastermind and what was their motive? Follow us on instagram for the case evidence and behind the scenes. And if you’re the victim of a non crime crime, and want to submit your case for pro bono detective services, please report it at whoshatontheflooratmywedding.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....
Aug 01, 2024•1 hr 4 min•Season 2Ep. 11
Perpetrator meets victim. And the future of friendships hang in the balance. Motives are unearthed and explained, and a shocking new revelation brings an unexpected twist in the investigation. Detective Lauren’s coathanger theory finally comes into play and we get a match. As the trio finally start getting resolution in the case, it opens up more questions. Things hot up as they hone in on the mastermind and it finally dawns on them what Best friend Vanja meant by “go back to the list”. Will the...
Jul 25, 2024•32 min•Season 2Ep. 10
