This mom is also an educator. As she was helping a student with a behavioral problem as part of her job at school, her cell phone rang. With uncontrollable emotions and sobbing, her daughter called from a different school, “There is a shooting in our school. Something awful is going on.” Our conversation begins at this part of the story and takes us through the realization that her son was one of the victims, how she found out, got to the hospital and how she copes with the pain while, at the sa...
Jul 07, 2024•1 hr 15 min
In our study to care with actions that make a difference we begin with our nature. This is our source and capacity to care. If we have a nature that has not been changed by God, all kinds of disfunction pour out of us. I make this point with the metaphor of your life being a bucket. Whatever your bucket is full of will affect how you approach every situation in life and how well you care or even if you care. There is great news! God offers to fill our buckets with a new nature powered by His Spi...
Jun 09, 2024•37 min
When we boil it all down, most of us want to know our life has made a difference in someone else’s life. That’s worth thinking about and considering how that desire fits into God’s plan and design for our lives. Then we are set on a course for our best life.
May 13, 2024•36 min
Our world changed on April 20, 1999. I remember where I was standing when I first heard there was an active shooter in a High School in Littleton, Colorado. In this episode I talk to Lauren who was a student at Columbine that day. Just before the shooting began, she was on the payphone trying to get her mother’s permission to skip a class so she could go the library to work on a project. Her mother did not give her permission, so Lauren did not go to the room that became a war zone. She was one ...
Apr 29, 2024•44 min
This method is not for everybody, but since each person’s grief is unique to their personality, faith, relationship and situation, Sam’s experience is not only valid, it is interesting. He and Mary were story tellers and writers in the happy and healthy days and that gift helped Sam see this situation through the story of Mary’s life and death. With God as the author, the story contains grief, drama and hope. Most of all, it isn’t final and Sam finds hope in that belief and trust in the Author t...
Apr 08, 2024•1 hr 1 min
Sam’s sister got a very rare form of cancer at age 19. Journeying through symptoms, diagnosis, illness and her death took Sam into events and emotions that a 21 year old is simply not prepared for. It seemed right to be strong for her. He tried to be strong and cover his fear and sadness. She was the one with the battle and he wanted to help her, not need her. So he was a caring big brother but he wonders if he should have been a little more open with her and his family as they were all hurting ...
Apr 01, 2024•56 min
“It was the right thing to do,” Stephanie says. “But yes, I have regrets.” Caring for people often is inconvenient and even more, sacrificial. Dramatic needs require changes that no one plans for or wants. But what else should we do. In Stephanie’s new life, her view of life experiences and faith expanded to areas of her character and living that she would never have sought and she did something very important. She cared for her dad and mom.
Mar 25, 2024•57 min
Hurt people, hurt people. We care for hurt people. It is a sad reality that sometimes a relationship blows up or a care receiver does and they say something very hurtful. Those times can wound and wounds must be cared for. Now, as a regular feature on our podcast, Darrel Chaney tells about a Big League experience of being wounded. It sets the stage for a conversation about wounds that discourage, weigh down and drain the energy and enthusiasm that we need to effectively care for people. These wo...
Mar 18, 2024•1 hr 7 min
Marilyn Starzer is back. This time she shares more about how her plans for the future changed when her husband had a stroke. She was angry about some of those changes too. There were places they wanted to visit but did not get to and things they needed to do, but had to get help. But when she began to give help to grieving people, she found the emotional and spiritual help she needed. Sometimes helping others is the best therapy.
Mar 11, 2024•47 min
Heroes are important. We all need them. Do you have a Care Ministry Hero? Someone who showed the way or provided care in an unforgettable way? Maybe you are a hero to someone else. It is a good idea to look for an aspiring young person who wants to help people. Darrel Chaney is back to talk about Heroes. His was Ernie Banks and Darrel tells of an incredible moment when Ernie welcomed Darrel to the Big Leagues. It was on first base in Wrigley Field in front of a packed house. I tell about my Dad....
Feb 26, 2024•1 hr 1 min
Everyone has a dream for what they want their life to be. But life is hard on dreams so people sometimes discount that dream as a childhood fantasy. Other times the routine, demands or problems of life just drown out the memory until we only live a frustrating existence. When we are caring for someone going through a crisis, especially a life altering event, their dream may be dashed. Maybe we never dreamed of a career of caring for people with problems. In my book, Welcome to the Big Leagues, t...
Feb 12, 2024•1 hr 7 min
For a brief few minutes I was tempted with the thought my visits were not very important. They certainly were not very exciting for me nor glamourous. But I did enjoy them and quickly savored the pleasure of the fellowship of three elderly people and the feeling of God’s favor. When we try to measure the return on investment of our time, we often get it wrong. The Bible is quite clear of the value to caring for the widow, the orphan, the poor and even our enemies. The real ROI may be that effect...
Jan 29, 2024•24 min
It was an amazing result, both in scope and time, when Nehemiah and the exiles returning to Jerusalem, rebuilt the walls of Jerusalem in 52 days. Is there a secret rhythm here? There are some interesting facts that remain hidden to most people. As I have allowed this rhythm to work in my life, I noticed a time of accelerated results. So, nearly every year, I try to organize my prayer and devotional life into this 52 day rhythm. PRAY 52, can strengthen every care ministry. People are more consist...
Jan 22, 2024•35 min
A stroke is to the brain, what a heart attack is to the heart. It can happen suddenly and produce results that are life altering. Marilyn tells how her life changed when her husband had a stroke. This active couple, living in Alaska, had plans for retirement. That all changed when Marilyn became a caregiver by necessity, not by choice. Now she talks about how to grieve and adjust to dreams that don’t come true, and how we can support people going through the dramatic impact of a stroke.
Jan 08, 2024•47 min
Miscarriage and infertility bring grief to the mother who never gets to know the child she was carrying and the couple whose dreams of a family remain out of reach. The heaviness is even worse at Christmas time when we celebrate the birth of a child and enjoy the excitement that children bring to the celebration. Juli joins the podcast today to tell her story of excitement, disappointment and longing and how she and her husband found the best care to deal with their loss. I hope, especially at t...
Dec 25, 2023•47 min
How much does your care matter? Probably more than you think it does. I have invited a former Big League baseball player to the podcast. Darrel Chaney played on the Cincinnati Reds during the amazing Big Red Machine era. He played in three World Series and four National League Championship Series over seven seasons with the Reds. He went on to play for the Atlanta Braves and become a Braves Broadcaster. His story is entertaining and applicable to the person who works behind the scenes in care mi...
Dec 19, 2023•35 min
There is nothing like going through hard times to make someone lose their confidence. But, when we care effectively for people, they are able to keep and even build their confidence. More than self-confidence, it is confident faith in God’s complete work, from beginning through the end. In this episode of the podcast, I bring a message from my life verse, Philippians 1:6. “Being confident of this, that he who has begun a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Jesus Chri...
Dec 04, 2023•42 min
Hard topics and difficult emotions do not need to be feared. Most of us prefer the positive and avoid the dark. We are afraid that if we go there, we will never get out or the pain will be overwhelming, and we won’t be able to handle it. That has been a mistake I have made for much of my life and ministry. But the opposite is true. When we are willing to go to the dark places of our lives, we will find God waiting for us. He always does perfect work, but when we experience God’s redemptive work ...
Nov 27, 2023•46 min
How resilient are children really? Today’s guest talks about his first memory, the death of his 6 years old sister in the bedroom they shared. William Knox Scarbrough, aka Billy, is an adult, now living in South Africa with his wife and two grown children. He has enjoyed success in building sets and writing for TV among other activities. But the pain of losing his big sister, when he was three years old, has impacted every phase of his life. I am thankful that he shared his story so we can learn...
Nov 21, 2023•50 min
Good guys get PTSD and faith helps. People enlist for military service because they want to do something meaningful. Then they experience terrible things that go against everything they value. The wounds are invisible but can be debilitating and life changing as a warrior’s physical injuries. Part of the reason PTSD is so bad is because the person and the motives are so good. We honor the Vets who suffer with PTSD. We recognize that our best motives to support often fall short, so we are glad th...
Nov 21, 2023•47 min
I am thankful for this opportunity to talk about a Blue Christmas service and give you a sample of the content. Our world is in turmoil, fear and sadness. The Christ Child was born into such times and for our needs. For many who are grieving and feeling the pain of our world, this is the perfect type of service to celebrate with contemplation among other people who are going through a similar pain and loss.
Nov 06, 2023•30 min
Her stage name was Nightbirde when she appeared on America’s Got Talent. She got the golden buzzer from Simon Cowell, but unfortunately, she had a recurrence of breast cancer and had to withdraw from the competition. She and her brother Mitch were really close, and he gives us a peek into their relationship and what it was like to walk alongside his sister in her five years of the rollercoaster of cancer. Now Mitch oversees a foundation that honors his sister’s memory by helping other women find...
Nov 06, 2023•35 min
Don is a recovering alcoholic. When he was a teenager, he drank at parties because he wanted to fit it. But he couldn’t handle it and years later it was ruining his life. He could have died; his body was in such bad shape. He lost everything and served time in prison for mistakes he made. In jail and after he got out, a couple key people and an accepting AA group helped him regain his sobriety. Soon he will celebrate his 19th anniversary of not having a drink! Hearing Don’s story gives hope to t...
Oct 23, 2023•45 min
Everyone wants to know they’ve made a difference in someone's life. We accomplish a lot of things, but this is the one thing that matters most. The way we care for people assures us that we do make a difference. In this episode Susan and I discover the moments when we felt we were making a difference. The good news is that it was the way we cared that made the difference and those skills, included in The 7 Essentials for Caring That Makes a Difference, are transferable to every person and ever s...
Oct 16, 2023•51 min
It took decades to learn the skills that made everything else work better. Why didn’t I know that way of caring before? The reasons I didn’t know them affect others too. Other areas of theology, preaching/teaching and leadership got priority. Sadly, the skills that would have made all those things work better were neglected. Actually, they have been neglected in all areas of life and relationships. Thank God, I learned them in the secular work world (customer service and sales for bankers), clin...
Oct 02, 2023•47 min
Care doesn’t just happen. It is not an accident. Care that makes a difference comes from people who practice the 7th Essential of Care Ministry, Being Ready. I share an insight from Henry Nouwen. “Are we pins and needles or do we have a comfortable room in our life for people to find God’s love?” And after the challenge for the inner life, I share a practical idea to get ready for the opportunities we will encounter in the outward living of life. We can make the choice to be ready to care, by ge...
Sep 25, 2023•22 min
“Satan is tempting us to believe God was absent at the time of our loss and in the time of our grieving.” That’s what Karen Schoenhals said on this episode when she shares more of her grief journey and expertise on grieving. But the opposite is true. God is near to the brokenhearted and the source of comfort and hope. We need to recognize that grieving is not just emotional but also a spiritual journey.
Sep 18, 2023•45 min
Karen Schoenhals has been an inspiration and teacher to me. Her wisdom related to grief and grieving is unsurpassed both as a highly trained Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner and as a person with her own grief journey. One day, when she thought two little boys should not be laughing, she knew her grief was destroying her life and she could not go on. Having nowhere to turn, she began to read. Then she was asked to teach what she still did not know, but as she studied and taught about grief, she als...
Sep 04, 2023•44 min
Caring hinges on how well we listen. We can’t blow it here! The answers to why it is difficult and why it is important are closely connected. Listening is difficult because it is hard for us to get out of the way. We tend to feel the need to be the center of attention and to get our point across. But effective caring is about the other person so we’ve got to get out of the way. Even God listens to us as Jesus is our intercessor. So, let’s get serious about listening because when we master listen...
Aug 21, 2023•38 min
Jason Mueller is back. Five years after the loss of his son to murder, Jason has found reward in and passion for helping others travel the grief and loss journey. Most people don’t realize there is a goal for grieving. It is a journey with a destination and, while grief never goes away, it does change, and one can arrive at a place of wholeness as they find a way to remember and honor their loved one. Jason and I discuss a number of ideas. There are many GriefShare groups across the country. Jas...
Aug 07, 2023•44 min
