Whine About It: A Manifestation Situation

Guide Attracting the Love that has meant for You. So very excited to get her on and talk about all things to manifest that great Lovelli, Hi, how are you good? How are you good? Welcome to wind Down. Thank you so happy to be here your book. First of all, I just like the man Yeah, I just love it was like a manifesting. I was like that is I'm like, that's amazing love. That a step by step guide to

attracting the love that is meant for you. I'm so excited to have you on because obviously finding love can be a struggle, right, but finding the right love is almost like like for me, it's like I I force so much love be like I forced relationships because I just wanted to feel love, but it was always the wrong kind of of love. And it's like to manifest like that good human can be hard because you also you're like I don't want to wait, Like how long

do you have to wait for this? Like this fairytale man you know from from the movies, and so I'm curious like, yeah, actually if you don't know if he if he actually exists, and so that's why I wrote this to show that he actually does exist. Do you have the do you have? Did you manifest your man? Oh? I did? Yes, he's downstairs. We've been he works her home. We've been worked. We've been working. We've been it's also working. It's worked too. Yeah, we have a child. We've been

married for almost nine years. Wow. Oh so yeah. So question like the manifesting, like where did this come from for you? Like what was the kind of like moment where were like I need to write this book. Yeah. So my book Manifesting is the book that I wish I had when I was manifesting my husband. I managed to manifest him, just somehow. I didn't meet him till I was thirty four years old, which is definitely not old. However, I feel like I was in a very long journey.

I'm a romantic. I was born for love, so for me, I was born to meet my husband. So I really feel like my studies in psychology, my twenty years of experience as a therapist, and also my three years of studying spiritual psychology, it was and then my all of my experience dating I mean, my husband. It was just I have all this inside that I wanted to share with the world. I wanted to inspire people to know that your man does exist. Because everybody has a soulmate.

It's everybody's birthright to have a soulmate. So I had a message. I have a message to share, and I wanted to share it with more than just my clients. I love that you said the soulmate word because I remember when I was married to my ex, I would say, am I your soulmate? And he's like, I don't believe in soulmates? And I remember that literally crushed me because

I'm like, I like, I believe in soulmates. I believe that we have you know that we have a soulmate, and you know he was like, yeah, I mean I think you can be one's soulmate for a season or you know, for a few years. And maybe that's true.

I don't know. But for me, I'm like, no, like I have always been like there is one soulmate and like and I've always like and this is bad, but like that's where I just was, like I was just trying to find it and like it wasn't until I really sat alone and wrote down exactly what I wanted and wasn't going to settle for anything less than that was when I was able to, I guess manifest that love, right,

and so but I it is. It's interesting and I'm curious, like what you would say to those people who are just like I'm never going to find love, because I get it. I remember when I got divorced, I was like, no one will ever love me. I'm unlovable and I'm I'm done, Like I it's it's done for me. There's so much in here, and I do want to get to the soulmate conversation. But I love what you're saying because this is what this is what I work with

my clients on every day. My clients have these negative narratives that they are unworthy of law and they're not capable of law, they're not good enough. And so the work that I do and in this in my book, I helped them shift from that which is just false our ego. That's where it comes from, false and lies and just things that are not true, moving that into what is the truth. And it's also fear based thinking, So it's fears and lies moving into dropping from your

head into your heart into what is the truth. It's also scarcity, it's lack. If it's not this guy worth, there's not gonna be another guys, all of those false fear based thinking. And I do something called compassionate self forgiveness, which is you identify what is that misbelief that you're buying into which you just said you're uncapable of love or you're not worthy of love, and then we shift

into the truth. And it takes practice. It might not happen overnight, but these affirmations that you keep saying over and over again and you catch yourself. That's the thing. Like we have so many negative narratives running through our minds all day long. So it's kind of like I would say, it's like going to AA. You have to acknowledge there's a problem. First, Once you start being aware of these negative thoughts, that's how you change them into

the truth. It's not even like changing from negative depositive. It's changing the negative, the fear, into the truth that everybody is worthy of love, don't you? Or for me, I would say mine come from childhood stuff like all at all for me goes back to like, Okay, well,

why do I feel that I don't deserve this? And that was something that I had like a you know, in therapy we talked about like I didn't I feel like I deserved it, but like why So then it's like then you go back to, like, oh, because when I was this age, I felt like I wasn't deserving or that I wasn't good enough to get it or it wasn't good enough. And so I think, you know that plays a part into relational stuff. Do you feel

that as well? Or yeah? Absolutely? And so I've identified seven different dating personas in my book, and they all are fear and they all stem from whether it's an X something a parent said to you, something a friend said to you in your childhood. For instance, there's the chameleon, there's the repeater, there's the fault finder, and they all go back to these unresolved issues that came from somewhere.

And my whole goal with the work that I do is I help people get back to their essential nature, their soul, who they were before life and difficult relationships and experiences got in the way, because all of that is a facade. But who we truly are is our truth, and this isn't I feel like a lot of people talk about this stuff. It's very buzzy buzzworthy, it's very currents and people are doing tiktoks and everything. But I've studied,

I've studied this stuff, and this stuff is real. And the gift that people can give themselves when they resolve their unresolved issues from their childhood, when they can be from their past, when they don't identify as a victim anymore of their past, when they see that life happens for us, not to us, for us, everything happens for our growth and upliftment and for ust to get closer to ourselves, then it's that gift because then you're free from your past and you actually can manifest that which

is meant for you. What about the soulmate stuff though, Yeah, so I love that you're bringing this up. So I did an event at Unplugged a few weeks ago in LA and we did a meditation, I talked about my book, and then before we did the book signing, there was a Q and a human is my favorite part always ever, so love the U and I and I love it, especially because I'm in the hot seat. I don't know what questions are going to be asked, and I didn't

know what questions we're going to ask. So one of the women asked, do I believe that we have more than one soul mate? Which is what? Yeah, I had no preparation. I didn't need preparation. However, you know, I'm so used to talking about the things that I'm that I'm always talking about, and that is a question that, really, surprisingly enough, doesn't come up a lot. And so the first thing that just came to me, from wherever it came from, was I said, you know what, there are

widows in this world. There are people that we're so in love and somebody died, So how do you explain that in terms of were they soul mates? And so that's where I started from, because even though I personally like I think we're on the same page. I believe that, yeah, there might be a few people that we could mesh with and work well together with and have fun. I personally believe that there is one person. So I don't know.

I'm not God, you know, I don't know all the answers in terms of what happens when your soulmate dies, I don't know. But what I do believe, so I'm I'm Jewish, and in the Jewish religion, we believe in something called but share it be shared, And the story is that when you are up there and the cougels in the universe, when you're a soul before you come here, you're attached by your back to your soulmates. You come to this earth and you find each other. And I

love that. I believe that. So I don't I'm not a Rabbi and I'm not God, so I don't know the answer, But in my heart I do feel that is that I agree with you, there is that one

person that is the best match for us. Well, what do you say, though, are the girl that's like either just gotten divorced or the girl that you know is has been trying to find her person and her partner and or they just went through a breakup or like that they just kind of lost hope, Like what, because I mean, like, I know what I would say, but I also am am on the other side of it now and so it's real hard to speak truth into

like when it, you know, during the destruction of it. First, I would say, read my book, not because not because I'm a sales person. I authentically wrote this book to change to people's lives, for women to wake up, for them to have Aha moments, for them to know things that they don't know yet. So I would say that the truth is that their man is out there. And here's a cool statistic. So eighty percent of people that want to get married, we'll get married. And this is

with your soulmate. This isn't just married to get married. Eighty percent of people will get married. Okay, twenty percents. And I say this to all my gunds. The twenty percent that don't are people that are the repeater one of my dating personas they do the same thing over and over and they never own up. They never look inside.

It's always the guy's fault, always a person's fault, and they never do that work to change anything up in what they're doing, keep choosing the same guy over and over, and then the other let's say ten percent, would be people that have some sort of crazy, like not crazy, but like major mental disorder, their associopathy. They can't relate to other humans. So the great news is that if you're if you're well functioning, highly functioning, just do some

work and you will meet your person. But there are so many people that just like I said that, they're blaming and victim and the universe gives us what we focus on. So if you are constantly feeling bad for yourself and you're in those low vibrations and you're in the past, the universe is going to keep on giving you experiences and people that will just validate that. Yeah,

that's such a good point. I feel like there's so many people too that have said to me, like, I can't believe after how many times you've been hurt, like you still you still believe in love and you still put yourself out there. And I'm like, well, I'm not going to sit around and just be like, oh, I'm just this. I've gotten hurt so many times and I'm done. It's like that that that's not the kind of life I want to live either, and it's like I don't.

I don't want that to be my story, right, So it's like, yes, I've been hurt badly, but I also still believe in it, right because if not, then what do I'm just gonna stay miserable and just be like, well, I'm not gonna open my heart back up because I got hurt. It's like, yeah, I did, and I might get hurt again, but like you know, I'm going to

learn some things along the way. But I just the people that and it breaks my heart with people that say, well, I just don't think I'll ever trust again, Well, you you won't if you don't do it again. If you don't try, and you might. You might get burned again, like you might. You totally might, and it might happen to me again. But I'm going to learn something with this one. And it's gonna it's gonna soul. You're gonna you're gonna pick better once you start to heal inside too.

It's kind of what I've always said, Yes, and it's so important for you in the whole world, all of us, that we are very aware of this fear. If you so the universe like I said, the universe is this what we focus on. So if you are fearful that it the guy's going to cheat, whatever it is it's going to happen again, or you're not gonna be treated well or whatever that is, if you are fearful of that,

it will become a self fulfilling prophecy. Unfortunately. Yeah, but wonderful news is that we have We don't have a lot of control in life, but we do have control over these shifts. So once again, it's get aware. Once you start feeling that or thinking or feeling that fear, you need to go into trusting mode. I trust, I trust, I trust And also visualizing that's another chapter in my book. Visualizing mode starts seeing this happy ending, starts seeing what would it feel like for this man to be in

your life who loves you unconditionally? Would that feel like? And living as if because if you are walking around with the fear that whatever it is is going to happen, it will. And another thing is that you're when you were talking, I was just thinking love is a risk. Love is a risk. However, love is why we live, that is why we are on this earth. There's either fear or love in this life and we are here to love and it's the most wonderful feeling in the world.

So I love that you got back on the You didn't give up. Yeah, because you knew, you know that there's some there's that right man dustin for you, and it sounds like you're in a relationship. Yeah, I'm very happy. Having said that, it's interesting because I have done what you just said, like drop the if. But I think it's my protection mode where I go, well, if it doesn't work out, I'll be okay. That's just the truth.

Like if it doesn't, I know now, like I will be okay regardless if I if I'm married this man, or I don't repect or if this happens, like I have come to terms and I've come to love you know, myself enough to not stay in something that's unhealthy and to I'm I know that I will be okay and

that I will be loved. Having said that, I almost think that if is like I have my thoughts and feelings of what I think this relationships ship is, but I think there's a piece of me that still protects, like the guarded piece, like, well, if it doesn't work out,

like I'll be okay. So it is it bad to have that and then also believe too, it's actually see what you're saying is actually really helpful, okay, because it is helpful to say that I will be okay if it doesn't work out, because in spirituality, that's actually neutrality, that's having no attachment to the outcome, and that is a wonderful place to be. It's not something you want

to be thinking every day. Sure, no no, no, no, no no, because you would actually manifest that, right, meaning like it might not work out and you will be I don't Yeah, I definitely don't say like, oh might I work out? Like in my mind, I know what I'm manifesting and what like we're manifesting. But I also know that it's like, Okay, I've been down this road a time or two, and like I have been hurt,

so like, regardless, I will be okay. By the way, that line is from Blossed The Broken Road, and I sang that at mine and my House's wedding, which one I've been down the road at time or two? Yeah, I'm brown pushing. Yeah. Yeah, that's literally the longest saying in her wedding. Oh okay. So yes, it's not something I want to think about every day, but it's something

that you know that you will be okay. But also I would just add to that, in addition being present, I'm just I'm being present in this moment and I'm enjoying the relationship sure, because that's so important. Also instead of because fear and anxiety is fear, it's future, depression is the past. So it's like such a fine Sometimes spirituality can be such a fine line of yes, of course I'll be okay, I'll be more than okay. If it doesn't work out, just won't be meant to be right.

But it's really not something that it's just something to be like in your consciousness, but really not thinking all the time. What you really should be focusing on always and everybody should be focusing on this is being in that present moment, enjoying because we don't know what I mean, we don't know what tomorrow means with people's health and with with anything. So that's and once again, very busy, very crochet, almost now be present, be present, be present.

But the reason from a biological and scientific reason and spiritual why we're supposed to be present, because our brain doesn't know the difference between the past and the future and the present. So if we are living in the past or living in the future in our brain, that's why the brain is going to think that we're actually there and will manifest more of that. So being present, being in your joy is the best place to be.

What do you think is the biggest mistake that people make in manifesting and then also in just general with dating. I think the biggest mistake is what we're talking about. People think that they are focused on this is what I want, this is what I want. I need to find my man. I'm intentional about it, But what they're actually focused on the fear is that the fear that it's not going to happen, So it's getting aware of that.

I would say that's the biggest mistake. And I talk about missing pieces in my book and the missing piece between you and your guy, and one of the missing pieces is is that another one is doing the same thing over and over without looking at what's going on, which we talked about unresolved issues and not being enough

in touch with your intuition. So you're basing choices off of fear or you're basing choices off of your past, your basing choices off of what your best friend would do, and you're just not in touch with this is a sacred yes, is a sacred no. This is a yes or no, right. So I think those are the problems with man fasting that I fix in my book. And you also you said talk about you have dating personas too, So those are the pieces that the twenty percent of

things that people. So there's how many dating personas do you have in your book? There's seven dating personas. Oh, I'm so excited to read this book. Okay, yes, And you know what, I'm glad that you said that, because even though one is in a relationship, so you're in

a relationship this book. First of all, you can apply these manifesting concepts to anything in life, manting a job, manifesting house, anything, But even when you're in a relationship, they're like talking about intuition, you know, always trusting yourself within the relationship. There are so many concepts that will help you even when you're in the relationship. For sure, honoring yourself. So you're, oh, you're the dating brissonas, so you want to know just a few others. Yeah, so

I would love to know a few others. Okay, So we went over to the chameleon, the repeater, the fault finder. There's the settler, like we talked about right at the beginning. Yet there's the unavailable man magnets. There's the I call her the misbeliever, like misbelieving something, the one that does not believe it's going to happen. And that's about five. We'll we'll leave the rest for I mean, I've already hit five of those in the past. So I'm glad

that you're bringing up. I'm glad you're bringing that up, because these are different than love languages or I just learned about lost languages recently. It's different than the nineogram. It's different than a personality task or one of those things where you where you're just one or one or two. These the reason why it's important to read the whole book and I just go to the chapter that you think you are is because most of us have experienced

most of these dating persons. So it's looking at all of these different fear based things from different angles and really getting a grasp on Wow, I had no idea that this was going on, yeah, or like not wanting to fall back in the trap of it too. Yeah, exactly if you're or if you've already manifested, exactly how do you stay how do you stay in that present mode, in that in that trusting mode. Oh I love it. Well, I'm very excited. Um, manifesting is a step by step

guy to attracting the love that is meant for you. Um. Thank you so much Jamie for coming on. And yeah, I'm really excited to. I'm going to put this in my in my cart right now on Amazon because I just think it's good to always, you know, just be aware and again for me, like you can use this too with manifesting, Yeah, other things as well, like work and you know, just life in general things. So absolutely,

and thank you so much for having me. And I want to add I'm going to I'm gonna send you a link to a free gift which is a PDF of seven day is a manifesting love. Um, so I'll send that on to you. Awesome. And then where can our listeners find you? Yeah? So my website is the relationship expert dot com, so easy, straightforward. My Instagram is

at the Relationship Expert. There's no e at the beginning of expert at the Relationship Letter x P e RT and my book is available Amazon, Simon and Schustar, Barnes and Noble. You can go to manifestorperson dot com to read about it as well. Awesome, Well, thank you so much for coming on wind Down. Appreciate you, Thank you so much. Okay, bye, honey, righte