Where There’s a Wilmington, There’s a Way with Barbara Alyn Woods

Wind down with Janet Kramer and I'm heart Radio podcast.

Okay, I'm so excited because we now have Barbara on and Barbara played Nathan Scott, Nathan Scott's mother deb Yeah, we never met apparently, which I just don't. I feel like we did, but I guess we didn't.

No, I feel like I know you, but we never I mean, I know we didn't cross paths on the show, but then you think, like post show, we would have, but I really don't think we have.

I want to know your least favorite part about working on the show, and then your best. Start with the least, okay, and with the best. We're going to go do it, and then we're going to go I want to know my personal stuff because I just found out something that I had no idea about and I'm really excited to talk about it.

So, oh my god, Okay, I'm going to deep immediately.

Okay, go worst part.

So worst part is sort of post show when I found out all the stuff that happened on the show, and me being like a maternal figure in my own life. The fact that I wasn't almost like you don't know immediately, I didn't know half the stuff I didn't know any of the stuff that was going on on the show, and I wish I had been there, and I've I've already like offered many apologies to my co stars, and I just wish. I feel like I could have made

Because how old were you when you started the show?

Oh my god, I have no idea. They're like thirty six maybe the sex Yeah, And it's so funny that the writers were painting us the parents is like the old people, and we're like thirty six years old, And I think I felt old because of that.

Well, that's that was one of my questions too, for you, because I just played a mom in a movie to oh the f sixteen year old, and I really struggled with It's.

Like, do they see me that old?

Well, so I've played a mom before, but to littles to a teenager. But I was like, am I old enough to have a sixteen year old? And my best friend Catherine, She's like, well, I have a sixteen year old?

I know.

I was like, I know, but like we're like, but like you started.

Yeah, it's movie mom, It's Hollywood mom. Like it's different.

But there was something though when I was filming that and where I was just like I really had it because I'm like, I've now aged out? Have I officially aged out of the my thirty you know, mid thirty year roles? Am I now just always going to be

Know, the first time that you're not the youngest person in the room right anymore. Like I'm looking around like, okay, you know, it's it's a weird feeling. But as long as you stay young up.

Here, yeah, no, for sure, cliche. That's that's true, and we grow and that's great that we continue to be casted in those things.

Yeah, and as long as you're hoping that's all that.

Been right, Okay, So yeah, no, I don't beat yourself up about not for this. I can understand that would be really tough. But even then, it's he was going to do. Yeah, I mean I still we had he I remember he texted me one time and it was he said, you know, I'm flying you out to New York. You're going to become a serious regular, like can't wait to celebrate. Maybe I'll just like maybe I'll come to your room. And I remember calling my boy at the time of going, I need you to get to New

I'm sorry. I mean, it's just like I honestly wish I knew and I probably could not have made a difference, but in my mind I think I could have. I mean, just to be someone to talk to, just to be the mother figure to all these girls who didn't have mothers there in Wilmington, North Carolina, you know, just like, let's all get together and figure out what to do here. And when all this came out later, I was in denial. I couldn't believe it happened because I thought I would have known.

I think the piece that always frustrated me was did you just hire me because you thought, oh ex or did you hire me because I was a good actress? And I think that piece kind of wrestled with me a little bit because, yeah, you know what, you have hired me if I was married, I know, you know, maybe not. There's something, Oh do you want to get into that?

You know? Sold me two stuff. I can tell you so many stories. Take your ring off for an audition, you know, like.

Uh yeah, it's disgusting. But anyway, here are you. How were you? You were married, you have kids? You were married for how many years?

Twenty something?

Twenty something years? And then you have how many kids? Have three kids?

Three girls? They're all actors.

When did you get divorced six years ago for a reason? Or was it just like a long time it was a long time coming. Okay, yeah, it was one of those were you scared to start over?

Oh my god, can I tell you something?

Yeah?

So there was. I was just telling the girls. There was a period of my time in my life, there was a period of time where I sort of looked for people who were struggling, Like whether it was watching a movie, you're watching a TV show, or watching a podcast, anybody who was struggling.

Just totally come on.

My entering was accidental that I saw one of your podcasts. Oh my god, I'm getting goosebumps now, and here I'm talking to you and you were talking about and you were just an open book talking about your struggle, what you were going through with your ex, and it made I'm sorry, but it made me feel so good, like misery loves company kind of thing, but you're so beautiful and young and vibrant, and like, if she's going through it, it made me feel tiny bit better that I was

No, I'm sorry, but I mean but I get it though, But it was a misery.

It was that you were open about it. And there's nothing to be ashamed of because you know, these things happen to everybody, and let's all share the story and we'll all feel like we're all in the same boat, you know, like we're not perfect. No, and if anyone can relate, I have stories to tell. If anyone can relate and benefit from it makes me feel better.

What was the piece that did you think that you would find love again?

Or no? No? And I was okay with that, Like I really came to terms. And I don't want to keep saying like it as you get older, but as you do get older, and I have my girls, They're my love, they're my relationships, they're my romance, they're my everything. And I got to a point where I was really okay with that. Yeah, and you know, I hang out with their friends. They're my friends. And I don't go to bars and I don't really go out. I'm a homebody. And where am I going to meet someone? And I,

I just found this out. I didn't watch the Golden Bachelor. Yeah, and so I just found out that you were dating someone who was on that show. Yeah, so okay, help me get that timeline.

Okay, was he I want to know the truth or do you want to know the story? We tell?

I heard her rumor that you slid into his dams.

Well that's the truth.

That's the truth, okay, And that's okay. My husband that I'm married to now slid into my DMS and he hates He literally hates it when I say that. He's like, I respectfully reached out to you politely and wanted to meet you. I was like, but you slid into my DMS, like you straight up, So it's like you wanted to meet That's what it is.

Yeah, And why is it a little bit different if a girl does it to a guy. I'm not sure, but maybe it makes more.

How did you see him? To begin with?

So his daughter was on the Bachelor's testing, and so they went to their hometowns. And this is coincidentally, I was which.

The which show? Which which Bachelor? Joey Joey? Okay, I didn't watch that one.

Yeah, shoot, So I was on the couch. This is something. This is like a tradition. Oh, like a year I don't know, like a couple of years ago, like the last season, not the one that's the one before it, I think. And we've been watching The Bachelor forever, me and my girls sitting on the couch like what not to do? Like training. We call it school because I

I was joking, the Golden Bachelor, the last one, the Golden the Golden Bacherette.

I asked her to be a contestant because I guess I wasn't the only one who noticed his smile when he was in the background. And he ends up on the Golden Bachelorette, and I was joking with my daughters like, oh my god, my boyfriend's going to be on the show.

He's oh my god, what play Wait? How long were you on the show for?

That's what I'm talking about on the show? And he was.

I didn't watch that one either.

It was a contestant, so he was on until the very end.

Were you like the final runner up?

He was, No, there's more So all of a sudden, we cannot because I slimmed his damns and we connect and we're talking.

So angry at you right now.

And I did not I did not know. This is the first time I'm talking about this, by the way, I did not know whether he was still on the show or not. Like he could have had this girl in Bachelorette in his closet in the back room. I had no idea because I refused to talk about the Bachelor, like, I didn't want that to be the reason we were talking. And so I would watch the show with this guy I just connected with. Is he going to kick it?

Oh?

He's still on the show. She chose him, He's still on the show. And then I would get a call from him like we're talking, and he's.

Wait, you guys were talking at this time already because you mhow airs later?

Okay, you know.

You DM him then when before he was on the show.

I think I DMed him during when he went to the final I don't know women tell all something. I don't know something later Oh, okay, the show. Then he ends up on the show, got it, And toward the end of the show, we start dming. We started texting each other, and so we were full on talking for a couple months and me not knowing if he was Literally I didn't tell you. We just didn't. We didn't talk.

What are you crazy? No, that would have been my first question, Are you engaged?

No? I think I knew this a woman. I think I knew he wasn't changed, and he was home, so it made sense. But I seriously did not want to talk about the damn show.

Okay.

So we just connected, you know, and he doesn't live in La so we didn't see each other. Otherwise I may have gotten more specific, but we're just talking, you know. And then the night he got kicked off, my daughters were there with me, and we're celebrating.

Like, oh, why did he get kicked off?

Because it was faith that he was going to be with me?

Right? Is he happy he got kicked off? I'm looking at him, I'm like, I see, I see I had not.

Is he happy that he got kicked off? So?

Okay, So how long are you guys? I'm dating for how.

Long he's better with? How long? Five months? Five months? Six months?

What makes us different than anything else?

Oh? You know what?

You know? You just don't know how bad you had it until you have one thousand and I always apologize to him, like I want to say. When we first met, I say, you have no baggage, everything's good, you know, don't worry like and then you're in it and you're being treated right, and you realize you had baggage, and you have baggage because.

What is one of the things that you bring to the table that isn't the prettiest version of yourself.

It's hard to just accept kindness.

Now something else, give me something.

Else, something that I bring that's not good.

That he would be that you really.

It's just because that's too like Sacraine sweet, this accepting kindness thing. Oh god, I bring so much. He's just so accepting of all my horrible things.

But we'd be like, I need to work on this.

My insecurities just because I became insecure in a relationship that wasn't perfect. And you meet someone and you wonder why they love you, because.

Does that insecurity come out in ways of insecurity?

You know, just like insecurity, you know, just tell me. I know you do, but tell me. I know how you feel, but just tell me. But he tells me in so many ways, all the damn time, all the time, and.

Then you realize how it should have been the entire time. Yeah, I mean, y'all are in love? Do you want to get married again?

Yeah?

Do you?

Yeah?

He's just giving me the eyebright raises. He's just mister GQ in the corner over there. He's like, I got a peek in which I would love for him.

Care, can you come here?

I'm on Mark Marketing Mark. He wants his come on, come on in.

He would have gone through glam if he had known.

You know, did they ask you to be the Golden Bachelor?

It's an application process, the application process.

Would you have done it?

No?

No?

Wow, the show wasn't for me?

Yeah, what piece of it was wasn't for you? What piece wasn't What piece of it that was? Like? What? What? Why wasn't it what you liked?

Because I already have something?

Well no, no, I know, but when you were on it?

I mean I went there.

For a specific like I was looking for something when I went there, and for me, I didn't find. Like the experience for me was fantastic, Like it was the best thing that could have happened to me at that time. Sure, because it helped me grow as a person because of the other men that were there.

That was for me, like the experience of a lifetime.

Yeah.

And I don't think it could ever be replicated, you know, like I could never I don't think that could ever improve, you know, like I don't think that could be ever done again.

Have you all mingled the kids together?

Yes?

How is that?

We had Christmas? We all met in Branson, Missouri, all of our kids and spouses and boyfriends and girlfriends, and it was wild because all of our kids are about the same age and so it was I don't know, possibly the best time I've ever had in my life.

Like it was.

It was so crazy, games like constant, like just like drinking games and games.

And outdoor ping pong, pool like botchy ball like name it.

We did it as Joey, his son in law to be, is an ex or maybe current tennis instructor. And there were racquetball or what is it pickleball?

Course you were there, no, I know it's trending in the.

Yeah, and so he was teaching everybody and there's ping pong and like, oh, it was just like it was heaven.

I feel like there's something to be said about the relationships you find post divorce when you're older, because not only have I grown post my divorce, but also I know my husband, my now husband, has too, and he's learned how to love me better in this marriage too, and I know how to love I think if we would have met even in my thirties, I don't think I would have treated him the way that I know a man deserves to be treated, and I think vice

So, but I do believe that you've been a great guy and giving and carrying your whole life. I may not have been, but you have been. I mean, I really believe he's been like that forever. And I want to I have not met his mother yet, and I just want to hug her and thank her because someone raised you right, man, like you're a good person.

And you want to get married too. Yeah, I love this stry to do it right now. I'm actually an ordained minister. I'm not at all that is that is? And are you still acting?

Yeah?

You still do? I wait, you just did a were you on Lifetime?

I probably?

I feel like I just saw you in something? But yeah, we need my.

Daughter and something. Now, let's do it.

Let's do it and not the jealous type.

No him, Yeah, I think he. I haven't given him the opportunity.

Okay, because if you ever been with an actress before, No, because my husband struggles with that piece of it, I.

Think he might like if I like, I'm talking for you. But and you know what, if he didn't have a problem with it, I would have a problem with the fact that he was.

Just going to say. And I love the fact that he is, like my husband's like you are you know you're mine and you know you're my girl, and I don't want you around like that.

And so if he said, by honey, knowing that you're going on like.

Some god ever didn't care, and I'm like, you don't care, like not even a piece of you who is Like there's a carry.

Like but there's a little difference between something you've done.

Yeah, something you're doing right.

Yeah, Like I mean to see like to watch the one Tree.

Hill, right you did you see Won Tree Hill before she slid into your damns? Not at all. But I've just finished you well, Okay, Alan's got to get a talking to you because he still will not watch. I mean I haven't either, but like he you know, but yeah, but I see what you're saying.

But it's different to see it's kind of like, you know, like a relationship.

I would imagine that she's had relationships before we met, you know, it's just that you don't see it right, right, Yeah.

I would recommend not going to a set when she does have to have a kissing scene because it's just not comfortable for anyone.

Yeah, yeah, I mean and that part I don't know. I mean, you know, it's I've never experienced that sure, right, So I mean as a career, right, I would.

Never say you can't yeah, right, but I would need I don't know. I don't like when that time.

Comes, right, Guys that haven't you know, And I get that just does have.

A hard time with that for her if I were to do it.

Well, yes and no, because it's like if we've dated actors before, because that's what I always tell my husband. I'm like, but I've dated actors. It's not a big deal because we know that it's not anything. It's just yeah, literally nothing. It's not it's not sexy, it's not intimate. The I always believe the intimate stuff happens in the trailer when it's when the yell cut. That's that's when you have to be careful crossing lines and all that stuff.

I really wouldn't.

So yeah, not an actor. So I'm like, you know, he's like, well, maybe I'll do it. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, Like this is like that you're not an actress. I don't understand that piece of it. But but I also understand their insecurity. Sure, you know, going to the office and making out with someone like, I get that. But we'll see when it happens. But seriously, my d can issue go get a pint.

So I would be like like, yeah, yeah, yeah, how is work today, honey, that's okay. Yeah, we'll see, we'll see how you act if that ever happens.

Well, stay tuned. Yeah, and thank you Mark for joining us. We appreciate you. Barb Brah'm say so glad we got to so great. Finally do this, Let's go, Let's go to Paris and go shopping.

Do that. Yeah, I have a list, I know what I want to get there.

And this is just a reminder to the ladies out there because I cried in my bed too when I got divorced and I was like, no one will ever love me. And then you finally meet the person you love yourself and then you finally meet the person that how you should have been treated the entire time.

And I do think this is also cliche, but you do need to like focus on you the time for every while. You can't just jump into something else, which is what I've done in the past. So focus on yourself and you can't lie, like you can't say, Okay, it's all about me now and then I'll meet somebody. You just have to be unaware. You have to truly make it happen. I want a love with yourself.

Yeah. I always wanted to leave knowing that I had an OP and I realized and that I was like, all right when I was leaving and I knew I had no options, and I really that's what I was like, all right, I have like I am doing this. I have to do this myself. And figure out how to heal, and you know, we learn. Yeah, we live and we learn.

Yeah, it's all good. It all works out in the end. It's all good.

It does all right. Love you, Thank you, Jason, thanks for coming up.