Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I've Heeart Radio podcast.
This week's episode, we have Michael Gallian coming on. He is a certified professional coach mindfulness teacher on a mission to create a calmer, kinder, and more connected world. BIB do you so you've introduced me to meditation? Why what is it for you? Like when do you find yourself going to meditation and where did you find it?
And when probably four years ago after from a traumatic experience, and I thought, you know what I really need to I really need to think about looking after my breathing and being able to control my emotions and my feelings. But also the psychologist that England at the time was
introducing a lot of breathing exercises to the playoffs. So I've kind of been introduced to it by like nasal breathing and different types of breathing, like the four seconds in, four seconds out and what it does to you psychologically. So I knew a little bit about it, but never really used it. And then it got to a point where I thought, I'm going to really purpose purposely take a period in the day where I focus on this because it's good for your long term health. Isn't it so?
But it never ever became a rock solid habit in my life even now, Like I think people go wrong because you use meditation as a reaction to something or the reactive around it, like, oh, I feel stressed, I need to meditate. Well, your chances are feeling a losing stress continuously come from meditating continuously. So yeah, it was probably four years ago, and it was I was consistent with it for months and it really helped me, but
then life took over. I didn't prioritize it. But I think as a couple in the world that we and then the chaos that we live in not bad chaos, good chaos. I think when we go in and we use the ten minutes twenty minutes to reach out, then we use it to be present with each other and hold each other, which we do anyway, but use it to tax some edity. And because at the moment I use it, we chat for five minutes and then I'm snoring.
So I should rephrase.
It, let's go and let's just go for the sleep, because that's what I do.
It's not a reach out, it's just a sleep.
Yeah, I have a question for you, and you don't have to answer it now because I don't know if now's the time. But do you think you'll ever Do you think you'll get to a place where you'll want to revisit maybe on an episode what you went through four five years ago that was traumatic. I'm not sure which piece makes you want? Sure curious because I think it would help a lot of people when piece we all go through moments that shape us, change us, and
move the compass. I guess so, I'm just I was just curious if one day you'll you'll want to kind of touch on it, because it's been the piece that you kind of go back to and in areas of your life that may hold.
That may hold weight.
Yeah, I'm not sure i'd want to go back to the actual experience and discuss that, but how it affected things after that then, and how it affected my life after that and enjoy season decisions and how it affected my career and things, then maybe I would, yeah, be open to discussing that.
Yeah, we'll stay tuned wind down listeners, not now, not today, but maybe one day. Yeah maybe, I don't know if we're gonna have listeners in ten years. We got to get some really exciting content to keep that because full it for ten more years. But let's take a break and let's get Michael on and get us all to a place of a centered, calmness.
Hi, how are you.
I'm Michael.
So good, I'm Jana. This is my husband Alan.
Hi, guys, it's nice to meet you.
We are so excited to have you on because when we were looking at the rundown, you know, we obviously are going to do some research on the you know who we're having on and so last night we were what laying in bed and he pulls up Instagram and and you know, we pull up your videos and I'm just like, man, this is like he's he's great, because like your voice is so calming.
I'm like, this is just so on brand.
Like with with what you do and you know what we're here to talk about today, because I'm just like, I'm I'm in like, I'm I'm relaxed, i am calm, and it's just from the sound of your voice like a gift.
Well, thank you, thank you so much. I'm glad it was helpful.
Yeah, it was so. How were you based, by the.
Way, I'm in New York and Brooklyn.
Wow, in a very loud place you were that you found a con.
I think that's why I'm this way. You know, I grew up in Colorado, which is very zen, but then I moved to New York and I had like severe panic attacks when I moved here, and so I just had to figure out, in the midst of all of the craziness, in the chaos, how do you find that space of center.
So are you self taught or did you go in lound from someone? Do you have a mentor or did you just because some of the best people that we interview in some of the best people that I come across in professional sport are almost like self taught.
Yeah. Interesting, Yeah, I mean originally I was. It came from a yoga studio in Queens, New York, when I was having pretty severe anxiety attacks that were making it so I couldn't do my job anymore. I really couldn't function, and so I started just trying anything, and so I
went to yoga and started. You know, our teacher was a mindfulness instructor, and she would do these many meditations before and after our yoga sessions, and it was the first time that I felt that sense of relief, and so I was just using it for my own benefit and then eventually I was like, oh, this is really powerful stuff, and so I did go and I got
my teaching certification to be a mindfulness instructor. But the majority of kind of what I know and what I teach is just kind of all self taught and self learned because I needed it.
Nice.
Well, that's interesting piece that you bring up, because you know,
you say it's self taught. It's it's self taught because it's I think that for me, why I would connect with someone like you is because you got to that place because you needed it to help you, right, So I would like, so I've also had I struggle with anxiety and for many years and it's gotten to a place now where it's better manageable, but it be hard for me to lean on someone that has never felt that, you know, So like that's I think that's like I
would trust someone that has gone through it to help me walk through it too, you know. And I even said last night, like, man, when I'm on a plane and have an anxiety attack or something, I'm just pulling up your Instagram because I'm like that that's like straight up calm. But I think that's interesting the self top piece of it, because I wouldn't have never thought of it that way.
But yeah, there's also like, I'm very big on what's people's reference? So how can you reference and teach someone if you've not been through it or being part of it yourself? And there's two things that There's two things that I think about when I come across your videos on Instagram, Micah. And the first thing is the calming nature, right, So that's a that's just such a strong super power to have and it got so calming that I was I trained professional footballers and I was actually showing them
your Instagram today on how can your voice was? But also the second the second thing that I like is you know people who are very good at what they do, but they're not exactly natural on Instagram when it comes to videos. What I like about your videos is you wave and say hi, and then you go straight into what the objective is. You don't say hi, guys, how's your deby and I hope you're well, it's just literally hi, think about this or today, let's do this, and you
go straight into what you're trying to achieve. And I like that as well. Because it's there's no messing around.
Yeah, I mean, social media is such a chaotic space, and it really is. It's just you're scrolling NonStop and people are trying to grab your attention and trying to sell you something and trying to make you feel a certain way. And my entire intention has always been just to be that space where I can check in with people, to give them this calm, gentle space where they can still be in the chaos of that world, but experience that sense of calm in just a second. And so
it's never about me selling anything. If you have, if you scroll through all of my videos, you know, I've never never sold a coaching package. I've never you know, been pitching anything. It's just about.
You know. But I get your piece though, Like I get I get I get why you don't because everyone is trying to And then so like though you probably like you're capitalizing on the how don't I say this, Like, I mean, I appreciate you not, but also like we'd understand obviously if you didn't, because like we capitalize off our Instagram and you know, and.
That's the great thing is people have found you know, people have found me. There are links that they can go to, they can find my podcast, they can find you know, if they want to have a coaching session. But it's not at the forefront, you know. Most importantly for me is to allow for people to just have the experience of what it is to feel calm, because we all need that.
Yeah, and especially on that platform too, because it's a very and I was just talking to someone about that where it's it's such.
A this it holds.
The most chaos, right, you know, and the loudest noises, especially from other people that you have never met in your entire life, but that it holds such a I mean, it's the amount of time even yesterday, like when you were in the show, I'm like, why am I sitting here just scrolling and just like like just burning my brain cells of just like scrolling on Instagram. And it's not all great stuff, you know, and there's a lot that comes with it.
It's an emotional regulation tool, that's really what it is. It's our bodies are you know, there's chaos in the world where you live in a very over stimulated world, and scrolling has become a way for us to actually start to regulate the nervous system because it gives us that conscious thing to be doing constantly, and it's drawing
our attention in. And so when I work with parents a lot, it's talking about like your kids are addicted to the phone because instead of meditating, instead of going on a walk, instead of doing the things that might be a healthier way to regulate their nervous system, they're using that And so pulling it away from them immediately, or thinking that we can pull it away from ourselves immediately is actually just it's taking away the blanky too soon from us. We need it, but it's how can
we use it in a healthy way. How can we use it to actually be something that can connect us, can allow for us to have that momentary release so that we can go on with our life.
It's just I always want to speak to a small piece of that, because you know, we're raising little humans. Do you say not to take because I I technology, like it is a very big and I don't know if I but yet they see me on my phone, which I try so hard to like put the phone down, and you know we have but that's a piece where I'm like, I don't want them to always you know, they don't have phones. They're too little now, but when it comes to iPads, and you know, I don't want
them always on the phones. And I have a we have a monitor phone for our for our baby boy, where you know, my my daughter loves to like do little dance videos on with jas. But I'm like, oh, this is now a piece that they're like loving another piece of technology. So it's like, did you say not to take or to like, how do you like kind of do the healthy boundaries around that.
Take it, but recognize why they're using it to the degree that they're using it, and if it's if it is that emotional regulation tool, if it is that's thing that is taking them away from the stress and the pressures that they're experiencing. You still have to deal with the stress and the pressures that they're experiencing and so helping them to find those healthier habits of one of the ways, what are you actually feeling, Why are you
going to your phone so much? And having that discussion with them so that they can start to build those healthier habits.
Yeah, I mean they use it just to video little dances and stuff. So I don't think it's I don't think it's a distraction from stress or pressure at this point, but it is good to regulate it. The issue I have with social media is, and this is what I like to you, Michael, because people proclaim to be camming, and they could proclaim to be this, and unfortunately the
social media is full of false experts. It really isn't that send the wrong message, claim to be something, but send the wrong message and the wrong expertise to people. Whereas you claim to be calming and you are instantly camming. So therefore just simple things that people are what they say they are, and that's unfortunately not the case, and that's what I think needs to be regulated people following the false experts online.
Can we back up to.
Your anxiety because there's a lot of people listen to wind Down that you know, that's always one of their questions when I say podcasts and today, whoul we talk about? And you know, anxiety is at the top and the forefront, and again in this day and age, in the world that we live in, you know, anxiety is always the fear of the unknown. Well, there's a lot of unknowns in this world and there's a lot of fears and for you do do you know what caused your first
anxiety attack? Yeah, are you cool to talk about it?
Or no? Or totally yeah, I'm totally open about this. And so I moved to New York actually to pursue
musical theater. So I have a degree in music and came here and was performing professionally for about ten years after I moved to New York, and there was a moment when I started getting what I thought was just stage fright, like I would just be really nervous before I went on stage, and it started escalating to the point where I would be having full blown panic attacks every time that I left the stage, and it was like my body was just kind of like collapsing from
what I was experiencing, and it got so bad that I couldn't audition anymore. So it was, you know, this thing that I had been so passionate about and loved so much since I was a little kid was all of a sudden no longer a reality for me. And so it was that fear of being in front of people. It was the fear of being seen. It was the fear of having my dreams be realized. That was just causing so much stress and anxiety for me.
And then how did you So then that's when you went to your yoga class.
I'd tried anything. I mean it was it was anything that I could could find. That was just what really stuck for me. It was the simplicity of really mindfulness, of being able to stop my mind from wandering. My anxiety was really based in my mind either catastrophizing and thinking about future or revisiting paserast moments, and for that moment to be able to ground into the present moment
and really take stock of what is here. I can concentrate on my breath, I can concentrate on my body, and those are going to ground me into the present moment so that I can actually have an understanding of what's going on in the world. Everything else was make believe in my head and my body was responding to that.
What is your favorite breath work that you've done around anxiety, because there's so many ones out there, so I'm just curious which one works the best for you.
So I'm a big fan of being aware of the breath when it enters in and out through the nostrils.
One thing that I like to do is be aware of the temperature of the air as it enters in and exits, So it's just those things that you can you can actually start to become curious about the breath with So if you're breathing in and thinking what is the temperature of the air when I breathe in, and what's the difference in the temperature in the air when I breathe out, and then just following the rise and the fall of the chest and feeling what it feels like to have the chest rise and fall, and then
dropping it down into the belly, exploring what does it feel like when the belly expands and when it contracts, and then becoming aware of the space around you, and as you breathe in, imagine the entire body going into the openness of space. So it's playing with that sense of expansion and contraction, which just allows for the body to really settle into ground, back into what's right here.
Yeah, that works, So I've got a question. Yeah, So the anxiety started to come after you had been performing for ten years, which is just a little bit strange because you would think that after ten years of experience it would become easier for you to handle those emotions and those situations and the pressure of performing. You know why it started to happen after.
It's when I started finding success. Okay, when I started getting to the point where it was everything that I had kind of dreamed of. It was I was on an international tour and I was in China, and I remember being on stage there and there's thousands of people in Shanghai. And that's when the pressure started to really build. And I think it was just getting to that level and feeling like I had to perform or I had to live up to something, and it just really messed with my head.
Interesting is interesting because you almost think by that point, you're like, you'd have been not happy and I made it, and.
Yeah, and it wasn't so much so that I had to completely change careers and I went and I started teaching preschool after that.
Did you try and fight it for a period of time with using yoga and using other things to try and save it, or did you just because a lot of people just like football as they know when the time is up and they have to quit because they can't perform how they used to perform. Yeah, did you fight it for a while or did you just know that you had to move on to something else?
I fought it for a while, and I fought it with anything that I could could find. You know, I think alcohol drugs became part of it. You know, in the performing world, that's something that people do, and that
just made it worse. And yeah, but I think the reality of this situation was I think it was an indicator that it actually wasn't where I wanted to be, Like even though I was, I think it was that pinnacle of success or not that it was like the biggest thing ever, but where I was was leading down a road that I felt like I wasn't going to be able to turn back from. And I think it was this indicator internally that I needed to change positions.
I needed to be in somewhere that was more fulfilling, where it wasn't dependent on me having to be out in front of people all the time, because that was just too much pressure for me. Now I speak to millions of people online and so it's a you know, funny.
Yeah, but you're doing the calling of where you're of what you know you I imagine you're you know, maybe do you still have the anxiety or where.
Does that Yeah, it still comes in. I just have the tools now I have the tools to be able to in the face of that anxiety be like oh I know exactly what I need to do right now, or there it is. Again, it's not this all encompassing like fear Right.
You have your book that's available to pre order now, but it's available on September twenty fourth. It's called Let It Settle. Daily Habits to move you from chaos to Calm. What are some of the tips in that book for people to have that calm habits in the chaos of the world.
Yeah, in their life. So the book takes us through three different sections of our life. The first is just when we're dealing with stress and overwhelm, and so I deal with some somatic tips and tools that are going to be able to allow for us in the face of fear, to be able to recenter ourselves. So it's all about coming back to center, finding that space to settle. So there's a part of your calm kit, is what
I call it. And so it's building that one being the butterfly hug or a body scan or any of the traditional mindfulness exercises, and it's building there and it's giving you practical application for it and telling you, this is the tool, and this is when it would be appropriate to use that tool, and it's set through storytelling, through either my own experience or experience that I've had
with clients. So the goal is for people to be able to kind of put themselves in the seat and be able to experience what it would feel like and then actively start to implement that tool into their lives.
Okay, and then what's the other the other pieces?
So we have that the finding calm, and then it's all about once you've found that centered space, then what are the things that typically take us away from living the life that we want to be living, which is being able to come home to ourselves, have that space of self acceptance, and how do we use mindfulness based tools and able to get us to a space of
self acceptance. And then once we found that way home to ourselves, how do we start to look at our relationships with people and how do we start to honor connection and recognize how do we build towards the empathy and understanding that we need, the forgiveness that we might need. All of this kind of leading to the space where we can finally let everything settle and just be content with our lives.
Where do you think people like, what's the number one thing that you hear being a mindfulness coach, like, what is what's the one thing that people struggle with the most.
Most people say that they cannot meditate and that their brain never stops working. Yeah, And I always say, yeah, your mind's not going to stop. And meditate is not about the absence of thought. Thought is always going to be there. It's always going to come. But it's about
the conscious awareness of thought. So becoming aware of when you are thinking, when you are distracted, and then the ability to make the conscious choice to redirect to a present moment experience the breath, the body, the sensations that exist,
and that's really what it is. And if we can just have those moments where oh, I can note that I'm distracted right now, and here's a tool that's going to allow for me to come back to center, we start to make conscious choices for our life that aren't contingent on being based in fear, but being based in reality and what it is that we truly want in our lives.
I've got a question, YEA, how do I stop myself from falling asleep? When I made the thing.
I thought you were going to ask, Katti, you get your wife to chill out and not go to like reactive all the time.
We can deal with both of those.
Okay, Yeah, I always like I want to take myself. We call it we reacharge, don't we We have a period in the day where we reach out.
Were like recharge and it's we got this nice little sofa bed in our room and we just lay there. And he's actually the first I've My therapist would tell me all the time, like meditate, meditate, you know, do yoga, and I'm like, eh no, I just I can't. I get I don't have time, and you know whatever, I make up every excuse. And so when I met Alan, he was the one who helped me. I think it was about the time when I was we were pregnant
and you were. There was a lot kind of just going on, and I sat in on some of his meditations on his phone and I loved every second of it. And so we've we haven't done it in a minute, but you do fall asleep. So that's a greatquot.
Yeah, Well, I would say start to lean into that sense of curiosity about what's what you're experiencing. So if you're doing a body scan and you're moving through the body, it's really just okay, how does my head feel right now? What about my shoulders right now? That's an interesting sensation.
And so it's it's just using you know, the mind that's going to wander, and just bringing into that sense of curiosity, which is going to keep you present and aware of what's going on, not just drifting off into your subconscious Thank you.
Do you think that would that work?
You think, yeah, because you're you're remaining focused on different things. Okay, and now I'm moved to my shoulders. Now I'm moved to my stomach. In your you're almost having to sweat your focus, which means I'll stay awake. Isn't having to concentrate? Okay? And now I focus on what I can feel here and feel here, whereas normally I've okay, what I feel in my head. And then I get to my ears and I'm asleep, and.
Then your snoring and then it kind of breaks my meditation and I'm like, all right, I just leave out of the room.
Yeah, thank you.
That's good advice, of course, Yeah, that.
Is good advice.
Uh So, okay, so that was Alan's and so for me, I go, I do go quick to worst case only because it's a little bit of like a trauma response where I feel like I'm gonna lose everything because of
you know, lost certain things that were hard. And so it's I go into that like can't breathe, having anxiety short shortness of breath, and I I'm very quick to react and in that moment, what's like a good tip or tool for calming my nervous system down because I go, I go really, I mean I go where it's like things like my ears get like it's hard to hear, like I get really and it's not like a slow build. It's like zero to one hundred within like a less than a minute.
Yeah, So in that moment, I would not suggest concentrating on the breath because your breath is labored at that point and it's going to allow for you to just be concentrating on trying to get that down. So you know, there's the five senses calming technique for anxiety would be
a good one for you. And so this is you might have heard it before, but it's just getting you back to be able to be truly aware of what is present, And so it's just looking around the room and seeing, Okay, what are five things that I can see, and saying them out loud. What are four things that I can touch, What are three things that I can actually hear, What are two things that I can smell? And what is one thing that I can taste? And so it just allows for you to be fully present
to this moment. And then from there, what I like to do with clients is to have them start to look in the room and find four things in the room that represents something that feels safe. So maybe it's the safety of a blanket. Maybe it's a picture of your kids. Maybe it's the door that you know that
you can leave through. It's anything that you can find that just represents a sense of safety for you to remind yourself that safety does exist in the world, because your mind in that moment is telling you there is no safety and I am in immediate danger.
I like that. YEA, that's good.
You'll get that, and you're you'll like thebe five four through, do one? Do it?
Okay?
So I want, because I want, obviously everyone to get your new book that's coming on available September twenty four, let it settle. But also you know, to follow you on Instagram because we obviously went on the journey last night. Can you take us through like whatever however long those are, so like what a two minutes or you what you do on Instagram that people can can know kind of what you do on there, just to take us through.
If we're having a tough day, we've got some decisions to make and we need to.
Just be saying we do.
But I'm just saying like there's you know, if we just need like a moment of just being in this moment and not letting our minds wonder to what is sure.
Yeah, so let's start. That's just by taking a deep breath in, breathing in through the nose and then breathing out. Just go ahead and let it all settle. The shoulders sebtle, let yourself kind of sink down into what's beneath you, and then go ahead and close down your eyes, or you can just stay here with me from this space, start to connect to the body, just right here where you are, noticing yourself seated on the couch or the chair and just almost as if you're feeling pulled ten
feet below the ground. Just feel that sense of sinking. And at the same time, as you feel that sense of sinking from below, imagine as if if you had two balloons attached to your shoulders, and imagine the rise of the shoulders the entire upper body as those balloons float towards the ceiling. And with that rising from above and that rooting from below, just start to connect to the space between those two, that centered space within the heart. Just start to tune into where you are right now.
You know the physical space that you're in, but also the emotional connection to this moment. Letting yourself be open to what's here. There's no right or no wrong, there's just what is. And start to label that emotion. If it's joy, if it's fear, it's sadness, just let yourself truly be with a full experience of you. And as you hold on to that emotion, just letting it be there.
I also want you to connect to just a small sense of joy, a small sense of something in your life that just lights you up, and allow for yourself to start to feel that joy, kind of start to grow within your chest, to experience it in your body, and just to remember that whatever we're experiencing there's always a little joy to be found, and that it's possible
to hold both at one time. So as we prepare to come back to the space, just hold on to both those emotions, giving space for everything that you're experiencing and being okay with where you are right now. So when it feels right, go ahead and flutter your eyes open, just taking the space around you, and enter back feeling connected and calm.
You're the bess, Michael, thank you amazing?
What was your Joe amazing family?
Like I had a literally picture of just like I just saw that all the wedding photos that came in today and it was just like you, me and the kids.
It was just my happy place.
That Yeah, that's a good thing. You can always go back there. That's a good space to return to. And it doesn't mean that the sadness doesn't exist, doesn't mean that the fear doesn't exist, but that joy can always be there.
I love that, Michael. Where can our listeners find you?
So on TikTok, Instagram or Facebook book It's on Instagram It's Michael dot Galleon, It's coach Michael one. On TikTok, you can also find my podcast, which is called Letting It Settle. And then later this next month we've got the book Let It Settle, which is available through pre orders at my website at Michael Gallion dot com.
I love it.
Thank you so much for coming on. We really appreciate it.
Of course you thank you for having me. Yeah, we'll see you chat.
So we really should get back to doing that. We should, like, I'm so chill. Now you can throw anything at me, like, yeah, do it, go for it.
See what you want. I'll find my senso.
Finding it five four three do one.
The meditation was good. I like the sink ten feet and then the balloons bring in your.
Back up because you actually feel the pole like I felt the blake, the pull down and then the balloon's up.
I did, I did, Okay, did you know it?
I was immersed and and I'm not sure he.
Felt the tug. I'm gona tug.
All right, we'll everyone go get his book a pre order now, let it at all