The Man in the Tik Tok

I'm trying to follow so bad. I love it, though, what is it? Okay? You know, we don't really talk about a lot of like pop culture stuff on this podcast, like not too much. I mean we talked about you know, selling sense and all those things. Blah blah blah. We have some housewives on. I have to talk about the

apology that Tristan gave to Clarie. I'm sorry that was not an apology and I'm not, like, can I just read it really fast because I like got like actually triggered, and I know it's not about me whatever, Like I get that I can see where that's triggering. Yeah, So I take full responsibility for my actions now that blah blah blah blah. I sincerely apologized to everyone I've heard

or disappointed throughout this ordeal, both publicly, uh and privately. Chloe, this is this is where my my my boil goes because I'm like, again, I have lived through I haven't not to my knowledge, he hasn't. I don't have any little babies. So he has little babies out there. I don't know, like there's there is always that possibility. Um, but Chloe, you don't deserve this, That's right. You don't

deserve the heartache and humiliation I have caused you. You don't deserve the way that I've treated you over the years. My actions certainly have not lined up with the way I view you. I have the This is the part that literally boils my skin ready for it. I have the utmost respect and love for you. Mm hmm. Clearly not were This is another thing that this is the next line is so gaslighting to me, and I don't know if it's just me regardless of what you may

think mm hmm. Again, I am so incredibly sorry. I was like, no, that's not an apology, and this is what my issue is. And maybe I'm maybe I'm close to this because I feel like I haven't gotten the apology that I feel like I deserved from my last situation. But like, first of all, don't say in there I have the utmost respect for you, regardless of what you may think. Well, of course he doesn't ever what you don't.

You don't cheat on someone over and over and over and over again and say that I respect you like you have an issue. You should have said I have been I have been so disrespectful and I haven't respected you. That's owning something. That's apologizing, that's saying. And you can say, fine, yes, okay, you love her. You You can say I love you, but I don't know how to love because that's not loving.

So if someone says I have respect for you, I respect you both, sorry, I'm getting heated because this is like same like the ship with Mike. But like, how can men like that that say that say they have respect for you and then go regardless what you may think, Because then then that makes us feel crazy. That goes to us to going, oh, well, maybe they do respect us because they're saying like the amount of times that he would say regardless of what you think, Like I

won't do it again. And I love you and I respect you, and that's not respect and it's not regardless of what you may think, Like, that's so gas lighting. Am I alone in this? No? No, no, you're not not at all. It's a lot, it's a lot. This is something dudes do, though, which is terribly upsetting because I think when when when guys do something terrible, they

go into like this dumb panic mode part of their brain. Like, these are things I can say that I know they're not true, but there's things I can say because they make me appear to be something that I am not, and then it can get me past this till and then I can I can just move on with my life. And uh it's always like uh you know, um, I I can change. You know, this isn't who I really am.

Uh yeah, regardless of what you think, I have the almost love and respect for you know, regardless of what you think, I'm not going to do it again, and regardless of what you think. I'm healthy now, regardless of what you think, and you know what that does. It's just gas lighting and making this woman feel crazy. And that's why we take back cheaters every single time. But Is that a man thing or is that just like

an unhealthy a addict behavior. I mean, but both our genders are prone to between this, but it's it's heavy handed on the man. In my personal opinion, I think men do that a lot more than than women do. I will say when I like messed up, I never said like, well and again I'm not in my last marriage, but like and when I was like dating relationships, I'd be like, I would never say regardless of what you may think, because that's just like I don't have to

say that. I'd just be like, I'm not going to do that or I'm not gonna this is what I did. You know, it's like a regardless you may think it's so narcissistically gas lighting, that was just throwing something in there to make them. Yeah, I don't know. I respect you regardless of what don't like. Literally, this is what you should have said, Chloe, I messed up. I did not respect you. You know, I mess up over and

over again. I didn't respect you. I have even I wanted I love like I tried to love you, but I don't know how to love because I don't know respect for myself. You know, I don't respect for so don't say you respect someone and then do that well, And I just think that they probably don't have the ability to be that vulnerable and to do that. No, they don't have empathy. That's the issue. That's the piece that there's actually my ex never got. That's a piece

that I don't think Tristan get. Then why girls they don't feel truly bad. They don't take full ownership. And that's my issue with those kind of apologies. And they can make up in their head why they did something. They can literally make up a reason. Well, I did too hard. I was dating Chloe or you know, we wrote a book and it was like so much pressure.

I don't care that you haven't you made choices? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was heated when I read Surprise Now Yeah, because when I saw it, I was like Jan was going to have a thought about for sure. It's just I just don't understand how someone can say I respect you and then still like regardless of like, I just can't well and then she deserves a reapology, don't Yeah, like why didn't you clear that with someone? You know what

I mean? Did some woman tell him? Yeah? That's not like actually because he might here's here's the thing, and this is Devil's advocate. He might be like, okay, and this is the same thing with Mike or any X or whatever uh they might That is how that's that that they think they're respecting like to their best ability of what respecting is. But that is not true respect

at all. So I don't know. I just in like any woman out there, don't first of all, don't listen to regardless of what you think, because regardless of what you think they're doing it, they're still doing it. They're gonna do it regardless of what you think. I personally think that's like the I mean the amount of times that I heard that in my last relationship, Like it's like you're trying to convince the other person. I don't even I don't even understand why. I'm never going to

do it again, regardless what you think. I'm never I'm a changed person, regardless of what you think. I don't lie anymore, regardless of what you think. I'm sober, regardless of what you think. Because you're telling the other person that that their thoughts don't matter, and and that in itself means you don't respect them. You know, like, oh, what you're thinking isn't the truth, And that's not that's it's not important to me the person that is like on my hands and knees telling you how much I

love you. Also, your thoughts don't matter because they're wrong. And yeah, and I remember taking that one piece too to therapy, like how can you say you respect someone and do be? Yeah? How I don't say And that's what got me the most. More regardless we're saying I respect you, I'm like, no, no, no, you don't get

to say that. You do not get to say I respect you, because out of all the things you might, you might actually love that person might actually whatever you do not respect to them, or you wouldn't do it. I don't think all yeah exactly, like don't say you respect me? Like I have disrespected you and I'm so sorry for this. I would have I would have accepted that, as Chloe. I would have accepted that if Mike said

that to me, you know, I have disrespected you? Not well I did these things because but then would you just go back to him because he said the right thing? I mean, they're always going to say the right thing. That's the that's the problem. But then that's you have to look at the pattern. It's like if I were to look back at all the things that like Tristan, like Mike person said, they're gonna if they do it again,

it's a pattern. Yeah, I hope she doesn't. Oh, I pray, And I was like rooting for them, like to make it work because I'm always the person like even to this day, everyone's like, do you believe in the good fight? Do you believe? I one percent believe that people can change and that you can grow. But I mean even like you know Lisa Um you know turkish i was

pronounced her last name butcher. But I love her and she's like, you know, people if the patterns they continue, and it's like at some point you just have to realize it as a pattern and not it's not changing. So but I do believe in if someone makes a mistake,

they ability to change and to not cheat again. I do believe that, But I also think there's if there's a pattern and it's not changing, like don't stay in it because you're gonna be you know you just yeah, I mean, honestly, Catherine, if I would have stayed in my marriage, it would have happened again, and and how who knows when I would have left, would start over

at fifty sixty. Yeah, yeah, but anyways, I'm sorry. I just had to get on my little soapbox because it really triggered me the other day when I read it, and I can only imagine how freaking Chloe felt. And I just like, I don't know, we don't know the ins and outs. But regardless of who they are, what they are, how they are, that is not an apology, and someone who's been in the same shoes deserves a better apology. Don't do don't do it to the people,

do it to her. Yeah, that's the other thing. Anyone listening with apology, Come on, I can't with that. Just yeah, and anyone else listening, don't say hardless what you think. Yeah, just do it. Yeah, just do it. Show people the action. Actually yeah, it really is. Yeah, it's all complicating. Yeah, actually easiest thing just yeah, just like own what you did and uh and talking about how you're going to

move on. Yeah. I mean, Catherine, you've got some stuff you want to talk about too, but we have um so can we say that to the end of the show. I know you and the wind down. Listeners have some burning questions burning um, but we have got Have you ever watched catfish? Yes? A few times. Have you ever been catfished? Now you haven't, have you? Well they define catfished. Well that's what I kind of want to know. I want to ask. Okay, I really kind of need the

definition of catfished. All right, Well, we have a host of catfish on the show, Niv Shulman, so I'm excited to get him on. Let's take a break and then we will talk all about catfish. What's up? Nive? Hey you, how are you? I'm really glad you didn't. You probably heard that. I'm really glad you didn't. Catfish mean today many times to get that one. Oh my mom just coming out and saying they're coming. I am a black belt in bad jokes. The more than okay good um okay.

I as a former Dancing with the Stars alumni as well, I was really rooting for you on that show. You were so fairly good, not hard enough. Maybe you had, you know, got a few more people to vote. I know, I'm sorry I could I would have had it. But do you have fun? Those that experience is the only thing that's ever happened. That really made me regret my life choices. I should have just been a professional dance I should have just pursued dance and been a dancer.

But alas, I'm happy with what I'm where I'm at, So it's fine. No, you were even you were really good and you were fun to follow along. So that was if anyone wants to go watch your experience semi finals. But you know, I had a few breakdowns along the way because it's like, you know, I'm not a dancer. It was it was in the bottom or yeah, me and Gleb we're in the bottom like all the time, glove. At the time, I was I was separated. Interesting question, Yeah, yeah,

I was separated. Um, but yeah, no, it was to talk about that another time. But it was it was a fun it was it was. It was. It was crazy because I feel like it's just mentally just messes you up, you know, because you're like you're you and you are successful and then you go on a show and you're like, I suck and it makes you feel like you're just I don't know. For me, it was

a it was a kind of it was fun. I would actually love to go back and then have more fun with it, yeah, and not be like miserable with

my marriage. How your oh I got divorced. Yeah, so speaking of catfish, um oh man, we can laugh about it now, I know, but I will tell you like it's been you know now in like the dating world and like the terrified of being like catfished, right because like a lot of times you meet people online or you know, dating apps, or remember one time and when gosh, before I met my ex husband, I went on a

I think it was I don't even know. I think it was okay Cupid, and I met with this guy, but he was like not what he had the height he was at like he said he was like six foot and I show up and he's like five foot. I'm like, is that catfished or no? Yeah, well actually that's funny. I just I was just talking to someone I can't remember the who, but who is in a

relationship now with a girl. But when they when when they met, he was shocked because you know, the pictures that she had posted we're either from a long enough ago and or had been edited and altered to make her, you know, look a lot thinner than she is. And if she had posted photos of herself the way she really looked, they probably would not have gone out with them, but they did and they amazingly it didn't matter and they actually ended up in a relationship. But yeah, it's happening.

A lot of the people are obviously doing whatever they can to make themselves as as appealing as possible. And I think the word is is technically kitten fishing. Um where you're you, but you're sort of bending and blurring

the lines women want to be. Yeah, like there's that there's a little younger or yeah, I mean there's that face app I mean there's there's one even filter on Instagram that I tried using one time because I was like, oh, my friend Caitlin looks so pretty, and I tried it and I was like, oh my god, I look nothing like myself. So I was like, no, Caitlyn Crosby, because we don't, you know, we can't talk. We know, we don't talk about Caitlin Bristow. We're good, I know, I

know I really like her. Anyway, cat fishing for sure, still still happening more and more. Um Yeah, but like, I mean, your show has been on for ten years, so obviously it's still happening. We're going to have our tend anniversary soon. We're about to Yeah, we're about to actually have our tenure anniversary. And I'm actually at the Catfish office in l A right now about to go film another episode. I mean, we're just they just keep coming in, the emails, the applications, there's no doesn't seem

to be any end. So it used to be you've got catfished, like how did you get catfish? Ten years ago? And there wasn't really the dating app were there's dating apps ten years ago? There was just like that was sort of early on, but not really no. I mean I think it it tended to be primarily just sort

of through social media. Um, that was sort of where the show started, which was, you know, I'm on Facebook, I got this friend request this guy or girl seems really sweet and cute, but they live far away, and now we're talking and you know, or we met on an a l chat room or on my Space, you know like chat right. Yeah, um, I we even did an episode once where people met on like a chat line.

I don't know if you remember that. You know, you call in a phone number and you listen to people's recordings where they're like, hey, I'm Jeff and I'm twenty five, and then you're like, yeah, that sounds good. Then it connects you with them. But I never used one, but it's a thing, um anyway. So so there've been you know, different forms over the years, obviously before the Internet, but we're getting catfish, you know, through like letters, right, people

had pen pals, and it's throughout the ages. There have been different ways. Um, but yeah, I mean now it's just so easy. What's been like the saddest thing for you over the years, Like, was there a story that you actually felt like really bad for someone? But yeah, for sure there have been. Um it's hard to separate them in my brain when I kind of just try to like go through the catalog of because I think we've done almost two hundred episodes now and and sort

of pick pick one out. I mean, there have definitely been people who I think we're more devastated or heartbroken than others, um at sort of discovering the truth of this relationship, whether it was because it was a longer relationship or just because they had really thought this person cared about them. Oh you know what it was there was one that just came to mind. That was this girl, um and I can't remember the names, but she was she was a young black girl, and we took her

to meet this other black girl. It was the first time she'd ever like dabbled in a same sex relationship, which was a big deal for her, and she was really nervous about it. Um And I don't know if she had come out fully to her sort of family and friends. Um. And we took her to meet this girl in San Francisco, and it turned out the girl wasn't lying about who she was. She she was just scamming her. She was just like using her for money. Mum.

And obviously the other girl was just so devastated. She felt like she finally put herself out there and and met a woman and had felt something, and it turned out it was just kind of all fraud. It's a bumber, especially like when you're trying to like something that's you know, new,

and what's tips tips not to get catfished? Um, it's getting getting cat fished, you know, just like you know nowadays right with like COVID Right, I'm not I don't want to try to say that they're similar, but like you can take precautions, right, you can wear a mask, and you can social distance, you can do all these things that were all that are all like good and

good precautions to take. But you're there's always gonna be a vulnerable spot, right, There's always gonna be some way in that you can't predict or that you're not looking out for or you let your guard down for a second. Um And and I think it's the same with like love, right, I mean, no matter how closed up someone as or how many times they've been burned, or if they have trust issues, like if the right person with the right message at the right time catches you kind of off guard.

I think people are so desperate for affection and attention that there quick to forget that Oh my god, wait a second, this person. I don't know this person. We don't have neutual friends. You know, their their profile is weird, but like, but god, they're so sweet and oh they make me feel so good, so like, let me just

talk to them. And then before you know it, that sort of turns into a flirt flirting and then uh, you know, a daily the conversation and feelings like it's hard, it's hard and so the trick, I guess is if you can give yourself like a very strict rule that if you're talking to someone that you don't know in person, they have to video chat with you. Um, you know, they have to have a certain sort of level of presence online, whether it's photos with friends and tagged accounts

and like people that you interact like. I'd always think it's weird when I talked to people on the show and I'm like, you've been talking to them for a few years, like, who are their friends or or are you friends with any of their friends? On Instagram? Who do you fall? Like? Surely people post pictures of their life and there like if they don't have anybody else in their life that's visible that you can sort of

contact or connect with or follow, like, that's weird. So I don't know, there's lots of ways to sort of look out for it. But again, it's amazing what the sort of brain and heart are able to do to convince people when they're something that they want, you know, especially if you're wanting that companionship. But to sort of tie it in to what you said before, what the story I've said before about the girls who kind of

got scammed. Um. Similarly on like in ways to not get catfished, you should also like there's a lot of romance scams are happening right now. Like I think people forget that just because you're on a dating app means that, like someone can't be on there just looking to scam you, whether they're lying like not, not to cattish you for love, like just to scam you. Um, which is which is which? Sort of partly why I did this this whole thing with Zel because use Dell. No what is that? Really?

Don't know what Zell is? No, you do? What is it? Heard of it? So I've never heard of it? Oh wow, Okay, so I'm looking. Yeah, it's it's a like peer to peer payment platform. Um, it's similar. Um the differences at Zell is like built into your banking app. Right, so if you have is a fast, safe and easy way to send and receive money with friends failing others you trust, right exactly. And what's cool about Zel is that it's

it's way more like sort of verified um. And they're making a big effort and I'm thrilled to be a part of it to like help people avoid sending money to the wrong people and getting scammed. Um. And so I'm realizing more and more that, like, especially with the pandemic, a lot of people are out of work and they're turning to sort of online scam activities to support themselves.

We even did an episode where the person was like, yeah, I'm just since the pandemic, I lost my job and now I just go online and the catfish guys and they send me money. Um, oh my god. Anyway, yeah, so you gotta you gotta be really carefully, gotta you gotta be smart with your heart and your cash. Yeah,

don't do that. Don't give cash. No. And it's so crazy too because I'll get people being like, oh, you know, we've been talking for you know, months, and I'm like, that is not my account, like you know, it's like and then it's like, are you at this person says you're asking for money, and I'm like, anybody with the blue check mark is not going to ask for money, Like you're just not, like right, I'd hope not Jesus.

I don't know. I don't know. It's just it's just it's great, Like it's just like, yeah, I love it. Do the And I always say like within the first week. I'm like, I'm face timing with you. I don't care, like, because you never know, even if you do have a blue checkmark, you could be scammed. Someone could be like, um easily, you know, um, maybe their got hacked. I'm like,

why why is a rod wanted to DM me? I'm kidding, but like, you know, so we also we did an episode with a guy who was verified and he had like he had his nephew kind of running his like social media, so he like his nephew was using his d MS to like talk to girls, and they thought it was you know, like to get to get like sexy pictures, you know, like you know, we're just happen. It's great. How long have you married for? I will

have been married we got married and seventeen. I'm glad I asked you, so it will be I guess it will be five years in June. What's been what's been the hardest part of marriage? Doing your wedding day has been the hardest part? Um the hardest part about being married? Mhm you well, yeah, I mean I think that's in a good way though, because like you know, it hasn't been that hard. That's good, you know. I mean I think the hard right now that the occupied the space

that gets occupied for me about that's like difficult. It's just dark kids, right like pick three having three kids. It's just that's hard. Um, it's great, but it's also Hardum, So I think right now then the answer would probably be like finding time for us, you know, like being able to like just to be in love. That's hard. But when you're married, like it can get hard to be to like just remember to be in love. Um. Yeah, okay, So in the next few weeks, surprise your wife with

a date. Yeah. No, I'm I'm actively always looking for ways to do stuff. Um, I even you know, like it's embarrassing, but um, you know I get like ads on TikTok for like cute like romantic gifts a lot just great, you know, like like you know, oh my god, if my boyfriend got me this, it would be so sweet. Um.

And so I even got her. And this is actually funny because I kind of sometimes confuse our wedding anniversary is it the June twenty So I actually got a key chain, like a really cute heart shaped key chaining with like the month of I guess it doesn't let me, let me, let me google when you got married. And but it's got like a circle around the day we got married. Get married, so that you got married July. That's seventy right, I gotta write on the key chain.

Please tell me you did, because I would be hilarious. Well, I love it. You know what, I think a combination of age and now three kids, Like I'm thirty seven. Okay, I'm thirty eight. You can't talk about age because that's not fair. Now you make me feel really old. Well no, I just mean like you start to things. You know, I have a lot of dates to keep in my head. Now, I got to remember all the kid's birthdays. I gotta remember. Yeah, um, well yeah, it's just a lot so security stuff, Like

there's a lot of things, a lot of numbers up. Yeah. Well, you know what, as long as you're happy, it's all that matters. And it sounds like you are. And keep watching a Catfish on MTV. I'm excited that it's been on for so long. Wednesday's eight o'clock, Wednesday's eight talk and um, maybe I'll see you on like the All Stars Dancing with the Stars, you know, like I thought maybe it was gonna happen this year because it was like thirtieth anniversary season. But alas here, here, we are here,

where we are still sitting here, not dancing waiting. All Right, you're the best. Don't get catfish out there, and um yeah, stop the scammers because that's not cool. You're the best. See you Okay. Bye. Oh he's so funny. I love him, Thank you bye. He legitimately did not know if it was Junior July. He had not a clue. Glad we can google it though. So sweet. Um, that was really funny. Um, okay, let's take a break and then Catherine, we'll be back

with some questions. Alright, cat, what's up? Well? First thing, I forgot to ask you last week? Oh did you cry on New Year's I didn't. I didn't you ear. I was just curious. I was gonna ask you. I was gonna wait. No, I made my little goal list and I it's like I did personal work and relationship like you know, friends, whatever what I want for the hearts this year? Um, And it was great. And then I played ping pong, had some friends over and it was it was really really great and I was like

so happy. I didn't cry. Good. I'm so glad. Yeah, it was. It was great. I mean, how many years has it been? Years? Years? Years? Hey, there's in your year. Oh yeah, I'm like, oh yeah, I actually re listened to that episode with um Suarie because it was that meditation stuff was good and then just kind of her voice is very calming to beause. I loved her. I know's so cute. Um. But yeah, no, that was that was That was a good way to go into the year.

But I did have was it the next day? Oh no, no, no, no, there wasn't a but but I had like I had a freak out because I'm like and I kind of posted it. I didn't kind of post I posted it on Instagram. It's it's kind of like the unknown year. So that kind of freaked me out a little bit because I was like, because you know, even though last year everything happened whatever, but at least I went into the year like as a family and married and like, I have no clue what's going to happen this year.

I have no clue. But it's like kind of great and oh in Annie downs um she she because I DMed her. I was like, I love you, thanks for that talking church. She loved to come on the podcast, So we're going to get her on. Yeah, yeah, to kind of talk about the Unknown near and all about it. But it was just like that. It caused me a teeny bit of anxiety. But also I'm kind of like looking at it in a way to be like, Okay, let's it's exciting. Let's make exciting things happen, and the

unknown near Steve the Unknown near? Yes, go for it. How are how how are how are things? How's your love life? Oh? Wow? Okay, Mark, Mark's done here. I thought I would just you know, I'm just gonna go for it. Didn't even ask me if I could. No, you did not. Uh did you see my TikTok asking? I feel like if we're posting, I could ask. It was cute. It was cute. I'm too old to be doing TikTok, but it was fun and I laughed a

lot and I had a good time. That's all that matters. Yeah, there are quite a few questions about the TikTok or no, I um, he got it really cost I went to so I said, you know, I'm instagramming, I mean instagramming, I'm podcasting today. If you guys have any questions. See, I'm just asking what the people want to know. And the questions were all all that, Yes, new Man, happy for you did? Who's the boys her boyfriend? Who's the guys in your stories? Hope he's your guy and makes

you happy? Who's the guy you're hanging with? How did you know? They're like? Literally every single one? Who are you climbing on? You do look really happy in all of them. I appreciate it, all right. I guess that's all I'm kidding. Driving people scared? Okay, that's fat. This is a scary thing. Dating is scary. Yeah, it's very scary. It's a scary world out there. Yeah you know, I know, right, and you know it's just it's a's It's just it's

scary and I'm scared. I'll say that. Taking it a day at a time, day at a time, good, Yeah, all right, and I'll let you off. I do have another question, another one I forgot to ask you. Okay, what is the update on your friend? And invited Mike to the party. Well, she heard the episode, great unfollowed me on Instagram, um, and then posted stuff about like real friends, Uh, put truth to you, um, you know, speak the truth to you and fake friends just don't

call you out. And I think that was directed towards me, But either way, I'm I kind of sat back with it, and again I'm like, Okay, my real friends would never have done that. Um, And so I think, I, um, yeah, I mean that's kind of what it is. And you know, thinking kind of like what Amy said to your therapist where she was like, focus on the friendships that really matter to you, and that one I just having a

really hard time with. And I just have no need to have that kind of friendship where someone can say the negative things about someone support me. It feels very like fake supportive and then not say anything to me because they were hurt and do something that's a little like what was the word use, opportunistic or me? Yeah, oh yeah, it felt very um oh I forgot the word I used now, but yeah, I mean it was like,

that's just a friend would never do that. No. Well, and you know, we talk a lot in therapy about loyalty and loyal friends and even if there was an issue, she should have come to you, not just invited him and not told you. Yeah, that's not being a loyal friend and again like that's fine, Like I have no problem. Again, I'm sure we'll be at the same things with but I mean that would have been our only friends that

we would have maybe done something. But I had again had no idea since they had said such negative things and hadn't spoken to him, So it just felt like, well, you hurt me, so I invited him, Like what a vindictive Yeah, So that's UM, And I just I don't want to go into the year. I kind of send my piece, UM, and I want to go into the new year with focusing on the friendships that are really important to me and cater to those and be a good friend to those people, and continue to be a

good friend to those people. And I don't know what about you and your friend. UM, I haven't heard back from her, So what are you gonna do? I don't know. I'm still struggling with that one. UM. Loyalty is a big one for me. I'm just we're talking about that a lot in therapy, and we talked more about it today your therapy today more lord, UM. But yes, to answer that, loyalty is just a very big one to me.

I think going back to family, I didn't feel like my family was loyal and yeah, when when did that come up today? No? But I mean like when did you realize that literally literally breakthrough a little bit. Yeah, well, we've been talking about loyalty with friends, but then it just kind of hit me today that I didn't feel like people in my life growing up are loyal like my mom when I mean for a lot of Yeah, So in like, what ways did you not feel like

loyal from your mom? Well, I didn't feel like she had my back. I didn't feel like I could trust her. Um, you know, I don't believe the things that come out of her mouth still to this day. You know, we have a fine relationship now, but there's no there's really

no trust there. And so when it comes out in other people, when it comes out with friends, you know, yeah it is And and there's a part of me that just wants to email her back and go, Okay, forget about it, forget I said anything, It's fine, don't worry about it. I'm sorry, And that's always my like go to and I still every day sometimes you're you know, every whatever, I'm like, maybe I should just do that to make everything okay. But I don't want to do

that this time, you know, I really don't. I just want so I don't know. I don't know where that will end up. But I never heard back from her when we addressed it. So I did the first time, but not the second time. So I don't know. If

it fizzles, it fizzles. You know, it's really interesting that you say that piece because a part of me, I was even a couple of days ago with the situation with that friend of texting and being like, hey, I'm sorry, let's sit down and talk, just because I don't want And it's not that I don't want negative energy, but I just I want her to like me and not think that negative energy, yeah, or bad energy about me, even though I know that, like I can sit and go.

I would love to hear how I heard her, even it doesn't but yeah, I don't know's yeah, I mean, we have mutual friends, and I constantly I'm like, I hate that, Like, you know, our mutual friends may think badly of me. But I'm like, you know what, I can't. I can't at that. You know, there's always two sides to every story. I understand that, um, but you know it's tough, and I know that I'm gonna lose probably

some friendships over it. But you know, at the same time, I'm not Catherine is not just going to go in and say, Okay, I'm sorry, pretend to pretend like I never said anything, and just sweep it under the rug. I'm not going to do that. So if she wants to come to me and say, hey, let's let's really talk about this and let me apologize for what I did, but here's why I did and here's what you did or whatever, I'm fine with that same um. But you know, we don't need to go in and just clear the energy.

To clear the energy, and in my opinion, I mean, I think that we can be respectful and we can be kind and we can be nice, but that does mean we have to cave either. Yeah. I love that. Yeah, I like that a lot. Anyway, good is looking good, looking great, looking good. We're falling on our butts from TikTok's we're learning and therapy ever get it? Like good the did you see it? I didn't see the good one? Yeah,

I didn't post the good ones on Instagram. And then we did another one too, and then we might try the koala. I saw you post that. I don't know what it is. I'm not like a koala. Someone damned me and was like, you should try the koala. I don't want to watch, so I gotta ask him if, if, if we can try that one. But I have a feeling I would fall flat on my face. But having said that, you're the girl that can't do handstand against the Nope, I can't do it. Yeah, okay um, we'll

be back next week. See them, see