Hey guys, So today I'm super excited my Jolian Jace clothing line just launch today. It's cozypj lounge Ware. It's a very very limited launch with limited numbers. So I hope you guys love it. You can go to Jolianjas dot com to shop.
Mike likes it, right, I love it. It's it's super soft.
It's so soft, it's so comfy. Actually, when you wear it, I'm more inclined to cut.
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Ooh this it's super soft. We only have a few styles right now, but we're going to get more hopefully when we grow. And yes, very limited, so go to Jolianjas dot com. All right, let's get to our show.
Flind Down with Janet Kramer and Michael Coffin and I'm her radio podcast. You know, we had a radio tour for our book, for another push for our book for the holiday sales the other day. And I mean we had calls scheduled from seven in the morning until two thirty in the afternoon. Yeah, with limited breaks. I think there's one significant break.
We had two breaks.
Two breaks.
We had a forty five minute break and then a fifty minute break.
Okay, and in that time. I took that those moments to, you know, do things that most people would do, like go to the bathroom, have some lunch, take a second to just breathe and digest, since we had been talking on the phone NonStop for hours on end, and come to find out, what's she inna doing? Not only in those forty five and fifty minute breaks, but the five minute breaks, the seven minute breaks, the two minute breaks that we have in between, She's doing a million other
different things. She went and picked up Jakes, which was awesome. Did the last call, I remember, I came downstairs be like babe, babe, and you're already gone. I was like, oh, yeah, she's already gone. So she did like the last two calls on the phone in the car. Couldn't even tell though, So that's good.
That's good.
I was worried about you to hear it because we uh, I was driving your truck sone no, no no, So I I'm really afraid of that, but I didn't care because I wanted to pick up Jason.
And the best part about it was and.
Then the one break, I went running. Yes, I had a forty minute break, so I went running for thirty right.
But of course the best part about it too was later that night, you know, we're winding out, we were finishing dinner, had about forty minutes till the kids went down. I told her. I was like, hey, babe, I'm asking for what I need. I just need like thirty forty minutes because I'm really excited about our podcast guest today, someone that I've been trying to get on here for a minute, and so I wanted to kind of prep for that and then also do some other stuff with
this hat collaboration I'm working on. And she just kind of smirks at me. I'm like, what, I'm asking for what I need?
And I said, okay, sounds great. Would you like to what would you like to do? Would you like to do it before or after the kids go down? And You're like, why are you smart? I'm like, I'm I'm just trying to do my work right now, and would you like to do it before the kids go down or after the kids go down? And you like, wouldn't drop it? You're like, why are you smirking at me? And I'm and for everyone that listens to the show,
like I was trying to do my work. I was trying to be like because in my mind, I've got thoughts and I'm trying my and I feel like, first of all, I would like to be semi affirmed for that because I'm trying to not speak on that or say things, and I'm trying to say, Okay, what would you would you like to do it before or after? And I'm you know, yes, I have a smirk on my face, but I'm still like, you know, saying yes, And I'm trying to do my work by not by
knowing that we're two different people, right. Like, for example, I've been trying to plan my, like a very close friend's birthday and we had three minutes break and so I'm like, okay, I could probably call this magician in three minutes. But I didn't realize he was gonna like tell me everything and like his upbringing. So I was like, hey, I got to call you back. But Michael's like, you're doing that now. I'm like, we have three minutes, you.
Know, so, and it gives me anxiety.
Right, But again, this is where we are two different people, and in the past is when I would be more on you and say, well, why you know in going straight to, well, why didn't you do that when we were doing when we had the breaks, and so instead I was trying to do my work, which I appreciated and well, thank you because I think that's the first time you affirmed me for that.
Thank you for doing it work.
So I was like, I'm trying to do it and not say anything and just recognize that we're two different people, we do things differently. But yes, in my mind I was smirking because I'm like, God, I want to say what I want to say right.
Now, but I'm what did you want to say share with our listeners?
Well, I mean we had two significant breaks, so in my mind, I'm like, what, but I would have done that then instead of doing it, you know, cutting into our time because we started a new thing with what we did last night with you know, we read a book together and so and then not breaking into the kid time or I'm like, you can do it all. But in my mind, I'm like, okay, that's just we prioritize differently. And instead of saying anything, I just was like, Okay,
would you like to do it before or after? And smiling and you were like why are you smiling? And I'm like, I'm trying not to say what I want to say.
Because I know you. I know you have something to say and I have to know.
But but then you don't want this is this is this is my question now though you you say you want to know, but you don't like it when I say something. So I'm trying not to say something, but yet you're getting me to say the thing that I'm thinking. So it's your kind of like, well, that's.
My word, just like last night we had.
Something that came in situation.
Yeah, I know, we had something that came up and I could tell and selfishly and I'm sure you can relate to this at some point. Is you know, I know we're two different people, but almost I'm like, I don't even want you to think that.
How could you say that?
Trust me?
I know that's like what I know, that's very unfair.
Oh, I know, Okay, I understand that, and I'm sure I'm not alone here, but you know, it's it's just it's just funny. It's humorous because we are two different people, and I prioritized eating food to maintain energy and live yesterday or the other day as opposed to continue to work, which I did make your lunch when you're doing those things.
So it is interesting though, because I see what you're saying, like, I don't even want you to think those things. But women think differently, just like men think differently. I don't want you to think that I always have to say something or think. But again, we're two different people. And the exact same thing happened last night because you brought up something I think was work. Was it work related?
Mm hm?
And you kept prying at me, and I'm like, Mike, I'm trying to do my work by not saying anything.
I changed the schedule a little bit. I moved my meeting.
Oh yeah, yeah yeah, to prepare for some other stuff.
And I was just very confused on while you had feelings coming up and I was starting to pry, and then I left it alone and I let you do your work.
Yeah.
I was just saying, it has nothing to do and I kept saying, it has nothing to do with you. This is my own stuff that I need to that I need to do and not say and speak on it because you're just gonna get annoyed and it's we're just gonna have a fight. So it's like when you kept prying. I'm like, stop telling you I had nothing to do with you.
You're right, and that's my work. And for you all listening, I mean, allow that person someone's saying, I'm doing my work right now, love to do that because I was my learning point the past couple of days, because I need to, because you're right.
I'm trying to do what you tell me to do, even.
If you say it knowing that you are thinking it will annoy me.
Oh my god. But I'm literally trying to do what you know I ask of me that annoys you.
Oh, I know I'm saying, I'm acknowledging what I'm saying is unfair and so that's my work to allow you to do your work.
It's like a lose lose though, like you've put me in a lose lose situation.
No, it's just I just have to do my work. It's not a lose lose. You just have to stick to your guns and just be like, I'm doing my work. I'm sorry.
I just that feels very lose lose, where it's like you don't want me to do something, and then when I don't do it, you're then prying for me to do the thing.
You don't want me to welcome to the party.
How does that make sense?
It doesn't, woofty.
Yeah, so that's what's going on. Just another example of how we're different, and I love.
You for it.
Yes, Well, I'm really excited for today's guest because we have a motivational speaker on and his name is Inky Johnson. Do you want to give a little background about him.
Yeah. Inky is a guy who's you know, kind of been His videos have been sent amongst like guy text chats that I'm in. And he was a football player at the University of Tennessee in the early mid two thousands and on a routine play on the field, he was going to tackle somebody and he got injured. And you know, let him tell the medical side of it, but he lost his right arm. He still has his right arm, but he's paralyzed in his right arm, and
so it's it's his story is so interesting. You know, he says something saying that he's quoted saying, you know that he asked himself at one point He's like, am I really failing? Or is God prevailing? And I'm just so so excited to talk to him and just get his whole story in his background on what led him to the path that he's on. And here in a little bit before we have mom, we're going to play this three minute snidbit of a of a of a speech that he does that I shared with Janna. That's
just it's amazing. And if you're not ready just to take on the day after listening to it, then then you don't have a don't have a heart, don't have warm blood pumping through your veins because he gets you going.
So let's take a break and then let's hear it. Okay, I said, before we get inky on, I got introduced to him because Mike played this motivational speech that he does and it might be a little hard to hear, but we really really really want to. I want to play it for you guys.
Yeah, we'll give you.
It'll give you kind of an idea of how this guy rolls. And he's awesome. So take a listen this miss day, we get.
Up, we're going to open presence. Somehow my son sees it.
So Dad, let's go out to a little forward, a little bike thing. I said, let's go me, So we start riding light. He's getting it heavy he's getting it, and I look back at my son and hit the ground. His helmet cocks up, and so I said, I got to do something quick. I said, because if my wife beats me to my son, she's gonna make him think he got shot.
Twenty five times, right, I said, ain't go. He looked at me.
I said, go heavy, and so we get back up and we park it, and as we're getting off, everybody is asked the same question, why did you do that? I said, because if we didn't attack opposition and adversity in that moment.
It would have paralyzed him for the rest of his life.
The lesson is, when something doesn't turn out the way you wanted to turn out, I need you to attack.
If everything that didn't turn.
Out the way that you wanted to turn out, and I need you to.
Go have me on it.
It's never about the competitors.
It's about what we possess and what we do.
I mean, that's like the fact when he says about the like his wife being like that he got shot.
That's why I'd be.
Like, what, Jaz.
That's why I played it for Janna the first time when I heard it, because I was like that's exactly how you'd be. You'd want to get to Jason and feel like he's got shot twenty five times. But I'm so pumped to talk to this guy in real time. I mean that right there gets me going. That you know, that gets my blood pumping.
So let's welcome to the show, Inky Johnson, Welcome the show man.
It's a pleasure. Thank you guys so much.
I have the video, or I mean Michael showed me the video because was it in your guy's text messages that we said, So he has like this guy's text message and he's like, you have to watch this and the part when you talked about like your son getting shot, you know a million times, I'm like that is so me with my son, Like I'd have been like, oh my god, freaking out. I'm like, it's so accurate.
It's I'm sure a lot of moms out there can totally relate, and a lot of husbands as well, because we're all like, absolutely, that's exactly what would happen.
Oh, no doubt.
You know. I'm so inspired by your story man. Like I said, we let our audience aroundur listeners kind of know a little bit about you and something that you say, your quoted saying even on your website, is am I really failing? Or is God prevailing? And that's so empowering. And I'm just curious on when that mindset set in for you, like after your accident, you know, going into the life you're in today, Like when did that change for you?
Absolutely so, I would say it manifested kind of after my accident happened at the University of Tennessee, because I had been chasing this dream, you know, my whole life, and you know, I really wanted it to happen for myself.
I wanted to happen for my family because I was coming from this situation too, bet home, fourteen people, a mother, working the double ship, and so when the injury happened, in a lot of people's eyes, it was tragic, right, it was devastating, And to me, it was a big lump of disappointment in my life and I had to figure out, man, like, what was I going to do with this situation? It's piece of adversity, this piece of opposition, Like what am I going to do with it?
Right?
Because I firmly believe every experience we have as people, like I tell my friends all the time, like, even if the experience don't turn out the way you want it to, don't waste the experience, right, And I feel like it's people.
We waste so many experiences.
We don't try to extract lessons from it, we don't try to see the blessing in it. And so when my injury happened, the thing that I didn't know was I wasn't giving up and I wasn't going to waste this. And so as I kept pressing forward, things started to manifest and I was like, man, maybe I didn't fail, right, Maybe it was God's plan all along for me to be doing what I'm doing. So am I feeling or
is God prevailing? And so that's basically based upon when you face opposition and you face adversity, when you face a challenge, just ask the question, right when you step back and look at the bigger picture.
I love that so much and I feel like that's how I've always kind of tried to live too, because you know, there's certain things in my life and I'm like,
why did this happen? You know it doesn't make sense, But then you're like, oh, like maybe this is why, so that you can help people, and you can inspire people and you can motivate them, and you know, especially Mike, with our situation, it's kind of like we didn't want what happened in our marriage to happen, but it did, and like, how can we how can we help others
with this? And maybe that was the that was supposed to happen all along, as painful as it was and as awful as it was, it's like, you know, I mean, obviously you I can't imagine how you felt because you probably had plans of going to the NFL, and you know, you might have felt like you let down people. But really, I mean, they got it. They have to be so proud of what you have turned your life into.
Yeah, And I think like you make a valid point because you know, you look at life and you look in the grand scheme of it, and you know, people go through some crazy stuff, right, And like I'm a spiritual guy, you know, to a certain extent, Like I'm a believer, and you know, I tell guys all the time, I'm like, some stuff that happens, like it's not a.
Scripture for it, right, Like you can't go go.
To Romans eight twenty eight, you know, what I'm saying, it's just a scripture for it, right, you got to let it play out. And so for me, when the situation happened, like the people around me that had helped me get to that point, I didn't want to let
them down. I didn't want to waste the experience, and I didn't want to become a failure because they had sacrificed a lot in me, and I think their investment in what they saw in me it helped me out a lot, because they told me from the jump, like, man, we don't care if you make it to the NFL.
Like I get that's what you.
Want, but we don't care about that, Like we just want you to be a decent human being.
You think we've been stealed.
You know, it's amazing. I feel like until you have kids, too, it's it's hard to understand that concept that you just mentioned, because you know I did the same thing, and you know I was fortunate and blessed enough to live five years of my dream and playing in the NFL. But I put more of the pressure on myself than anybody else, right, because, like you said, like your parents and the people that
love you will love you. No matter what, and then we make up this story like if we don't succeed or do these these achieve these goals, that we're not the same person, that we're less than. And so with kids, I'm starting to realize, you know, ours are five and two? How old are your kids? Ain't nine and time? And wow, so I feel like, you know, we're starting to at least myself, I'm starting to kind of realize that, like I don't care if they become the most amazing whatever
it may be. But as long as they're a good human being and treat each other right and you know, and do all that and live by the gold, like we're going to be proud. And so as a father of a nine and ten year old, because those are they're getting into those impressionable ages, you know, So as a father, like, how are you instilling the principles that you've learned like into them?
Yeah?
I think you make a great point, like when you become a parent, the perspective shifts totally. And so my girl is ten, my boy is nine eleven months apart, little Irish twis Oh man, they give us a run for our money too, right, but it's awesome, Like I read this quote once and it's said, you know, as parents, right, like we want to sometimes give children the things that we never had instead of instilling in children the things that we never learned.
And so with our children, it's always based upon.
Like I'm not letting them not fill the wind right in every situation. And what I mean by that is when they go through adversity and opposition and challenges in life. I feel like my job as a parent is preparation. I'm going to prepare you as best as I know how, and then when you deal with the situation, I want to see you make decisions. I want to see you fail, right. I want to see you think you know it all and then you get popped on your button. You see you don't know it all, so we can know how
to respond. And so for me, it's about character. It's about treating people right. It's about showing up, giving everything you got to the things you're a part of.
It's about not allowing you to quit.
Because my mother never allowed me to quit right when I was in sports extracurricular and if I didn't like a coach, if I didn't like this, I couldn't come home and say, well, I don't like the coach and quitting. No, you're going to stay in it, right because of the person you're going to become from that experience. And so for me, it's making sure they understand what we're working for.
It is not just to be a great athlete. What we're working for is one day when you get placed with real responsibility, you know how to respond to it with the right type of perspective.
I love that because you are a motivational speaker, is there something that you have a hard time sometimes living by something that you might talk about because I know for us, Yeah, because for us it's hard. I'm like, man, I'm like, we're saying, you know, communicate and do this, but I'm like, we just did a really bad job at that. But yeah, like how are we telling other people to, like, you know, be great partners and communicate?
So I just wonder, as like a motivational speaker, it's like, you know what topic like that you do talk about that you might struggle with personally?
Absolutely, so the whole concept of motivational speaker, right, So I never planned to be a motivational speaker like that was never my plan. I never wanted to be a speaker, Like after I got injured, I wanted to be a coach, right, that was a natural transition. Never wanted to say, man, I want to travel around the country share my story. Never thought my story was anything special. To be honest, I was just a guy that grew up a certain way and I was just trying to make it happen.
For my family.
But I am a very passionate guy about things that I care about, and so when I decided to speak, it was more so of obedience than anything, because I was in such a place in my life of confusion. I had tried what I had tried and it didn't work. I thought I was going to make it to the NFL. Didn't work. God had a different plan. Thought I was going to coach, didn't work. Came back to Atlanta, thought I was going to work at the rec center in my neighborhood, create leadership curriculums.
For the kids. Didn't work.
And so I was at a place in my life where I was like, hey, Lord, I don't know what you want me to do. Man, Like, if it's speak people are saying speak, I'll just be obedient. I need to find purpose with my life, right, and then the Bible that says obedience is better than sacrifice. But as people, we judged the level of sacrifice without first being obedient. And so when I went on a journey to speak, I was just a guy that once I saw it impacted people, I was like, man, that's pretty cool. And
then people are like, man, that motivated me. I never said I was motivating. I was picking more so man inspiration right from within. The only reason my Instagram name is Inky Johnson motivate is because somebody hacked my Instagram and stole my original name and they stole like everything associated with it. So that was the only thing I could get. But you know, the motivational speaker, the whole
concept of it. You know, it's a challenge for me, right because when people see you sometimes like people see me and they're like, give me something, right, give me something. They see a video, they think I'm just as passionate guy. But to be honest, I'm a real laid back guy, right, Like,
if you see me out in public, I'm calm. I'm the guy that is just being a back quiet And so it's more so about like having compassion right for people, and empathy and understanding that you know, nobody is perfect, right, including me, and so when I share content, hopefully it comes across that way.
You know.
That's that's great, you know, and I love the humility you have behind that, right because you just being able to talk about you know, your story. Everyone's story is different, right, Everyone's like their gauge of the severity of it, of what they've been through is is everything's different. You know, what's hard for some person one person isn't hard for another. And the fact that you're you know, again, the humility show with your story and just being like, man, why
do people want to hear my story? You know, to you it's just normal, right, it's just your life. It's nothing special. But you know, just hearing you speak and watching your stuff, man, it truly is God's gift the way you're able to deliver things, because that's something that you know, we do. We do a lot of speaking
things together. We do some live shows and stuff and we've seen a lot and you know that stuff is to an extent, you know, God given where it's you can't really go to a class and yeah, you can go to communications and learn how to give up presentation, you know, but you can't like to motivate like that, to inspire and have that compassion and have that energy
around it. You know, it's just like the game. I feel like when you're on stage, you're turning it on, right, Like you're getting on the field, You're turning it on. So that might not be on a daily basis, but it's I mean, that is truly a gift that you have in't to to do that to I mean, like I said, we just shared that one video with our listeners and get that gets my blood going every time I hear it, Like I'm ready to take on the day, man, So you know.
Which is a lot.
Yeah, my wife can start calling you. She's gonna be like I can't get them up and going, let's go.
I need you to be his alarm, like when he wakes up in.
The morning's voice is my new alarm. Now what with that being said, like what gets you up every morning? Like what motivates you as soon as you put your feet on the ground man, each day? Like what gets you going?
You know? Man?
I was I was telling somebody just yesterday and you know, I just not too long ago, you know, really dealt with this this situation what I'm about to share. And so as a kid, you know, growing up in poverty. You know, I had some of the best times in my life, but I also had some experiences that I felt that I knew once I got a family, once I became an adult, I didn't want to experience that, right,
and I didn't want my children to experience that. And so my whole life I felt as if I was running from poverty, right, Like I didn't want to exp certain things. I don't want my children to experience some nights when they miss mills, like I didn't want to experience that, right. And so when I started speaking, I was like a Workaholiday, right, Like I was taking every engagement, every gig. I was just going, going, going, And I made a lot of mistakes. I missed a lot, right,
both with my children and my wife. And one day I went to a spiritual retreat and it was a small group and a guy was saying to me, he was like, do anybody feel like they're running from anything? And I was like yeah, and I raised my hand and he was like, what is it. I was like, you know, poverty and he was like hmm, said are you in poverty right now, you and your family. I was like, nah, I was like, we do quite well as a matter of fact, and he was like, well,
stop running. And to me, you know, it was profound. To others in the group, it might have been simple. But for me, what it did for me was it brought me a level of purpose and brought me a level of clarity in terms of how I went about my business, how I got up every single day, orchestrated my decisions and my choices, and what my driving force was. That was my family, right every single day getting up and wanting to be the best man I could be
for them. Now, will mistakes happen. Sure, fatherhood doesn't come with a manual. Being a husband doesn't come with a manual. Many mistakes will be made. But every single day, knowing what my driving force is and knowing what I'm working for is something that's extremely important. Man.
That's so you just just listening to them, Man, it's just it's empowering. Thank you, it really is. And so you know along with that, you know, this is a relationship podcast. You know, we talk a lot about about marriages and stuff like that.
You been married for man, We're going on it'll be ten years in April.
Doubt.
We've been at it since, we've been at it since fifth grade.
She knows me like back better than you know.
You telling you, I'm telling you.
I patient.
Oh, I always wonder you know, just I like to ask this, you know, with couples, is you know, if you were to look in the mirror as a husband, what's one thing that you could do better at?
The one thing I could do better at, I would say is communication? Right, Like, even though I'm an oratory speaker out in the world, I would say communication about about challenges that come up in marriage, right, Because I'm the type of person I'm so like people see me and they're like, man, this guy's passionate. But my personality is that I'm a real calm, real cool guy. I just try to navigate, get through opposition, get through challenges
in a cool, calm way. And so early on and my wife helped me with this a lot early on in our marriage, whenever we would face a challenge, I would just try to be cool, like in silent right, not want to address it, like I say a little something here, but try to just think it's just going to blow over, right, And my wife would be like, no, we're going to talk about this. We're finish talk about this now, right, like we're goin to communicate about this.
And you know it helped me, right, It helped me to start expressing my perspective.
It helped me to start understanding her perspective.
But just that whole communication piece is so important, right, and also understanding and hearing the nun verbals, right, Like, I remember a mistake I made when I first started speaking with the NFL, and I had this big gig on her birthday and I'm like, man, like this is gonna take me here in my career. I'm gonna get
paid this. And I asked her on her birthday because the way it was set up, I could get up, go do what I had to do, get right back, and I was gonna send her to the SPA with a grandma, and I had it all planned out in my mind.
I'm like, oh, man's be perfect.
And I asked her and she was like, yeah, cool, go ahead, right, and like I went, I did it and I came back and I always say it wasn't until like two days later, and it was something simple, right, and she blew on me and I knew automatically I said that was it. I made a mistake. I didn't catch non verbo. I didn't catch it, and so I would say that for sure.
But that's also on her though. And what I've learned too is because I do a lot of non verbal too, you know, as his wife, and there's a lot of times when instead I have to come and say like, hey, I feel this way, instead of taking it out about a lampshade. You know, like there's there's always something greater. So it's like it's on us too to express it. But it's hard. It's a fine dance, you know, when you have emotions and feelings.
And I'm sure if it's on your birthday, you probably wouldn't feel like you'd have to well when just blinded, you know that that's that's tough too, though, because as I put myself in inky shoes, I'd be like, babe, can you understand this response, this this opportunity that's in front of you.
Yeah, you know, I.
Think it's just it's having more communication and saying like, but you know, I love you so much and I do choose you. I just you know, I really need your support. So It's like, I don't know who.
Who do you enjoy talking to the most? Inky? I mean, you've done NFL, you do corporations, you do you underprivileged kids, schools, you know whatever it is on all levels, Like who have you enjoyed really connecting with the most?
I enjoy it all, man, because I never thought I would be doing it on the level that I'm doing it at. But I would say my number one source of business it isn't It isn't even sports. A number one source is corporate. And I think it's more so because I bring a different perspective. Like I was trying to figure it out one day, I was like, man, you know I don't really come from the corporate. Well,
like why do they like bringing me in? And then when I was talking to a guy I wanted to see O the company, He's like, Ink, we get the guys to come in and talk to numbers, We get the guys to come in and talk to spreadsheets, and they say, when you come in, you bring a level of balance and perspective that we need to think about, right,
because we do get driven from time to time. And like I said to him, like I'm a firm believer like we're adults, right, we got children, married, this, that, and the third, and people would look at me and say, man, he's motivating, inspirational, And I firmly believe as adults, more than motivation, more than inspiration, even though that's valuable, we
need to be reminded of what's important. And so when I go into the corporate space, I think sometimes it just serves as a source of what's really important, right, because that's the space that I speak from.
That's awesome. I mean just putting everything in a perspective, and I feel like I make up that you bring, like the intangibles that you know, the corporation doesn't always get like you're talking about. It's not the numbers, it's not the business aspect, it's theo's intangibles that make up
a human being and a corporation. To be successful with your young kids, and this is a topical question being a black man in today's cultural climate and having two young African American kids, what are you teaching them about what it means to be the color that they are and how to approach life.
Yeah, so you know that's great question.
Man.
Just making sure that my children have a real balance perspective and making sure they're educated about everything that they have a question about when it comes to race, when it comes to different things, whether it be you know, politics, whatever the case may be, making sure we educate them but also making sure that they have a balance perspective. So I'll give you an example. Our children are growing
up totally different from me and my wife. So me and my wife grew up a couple blocks away from each other, same neighborhood, same environment, things that nature experience, similar things.
Our children are growing up totally different.
So when I was coming up, the first guy that put me in sports was a white guy, right, But I was coming up all black neighborhood, drug dealers on the corner pretty much you see it all, right, like literally, and a coach coming down the street after he dropped the kid off at practice, ends up signing me and my three.
Younger cousins up to play ball.
And it's my guy until this day, right, And me and my three younger cousins that he signed up in that street, all of us end up going to college, and we broke a generational curse in our family, right, And he helped us. And so for my children. They're growing up black, white Chinese kids. Some of their best friends are white, some of their best friends are black. And when the things started happening with the cops, right about people in the world talking about cops, you know,
cops killing black people, whatever the case may be. When that started happening, my children came home and they had questions, right because they would hear it, people would discuss it, and we don't ever try to make them feel like they're living in fantasy land, right, Like I talked to my nine year old son like he's nineteen, Right, I talked to my ten year old daughter like she's twenty years old.
We have real dialogue.
And so when that started happening, they came home and they had questions, and they were like, man, why are people saying police are bad? Like we just seen mister
Tummy at lunch with the K nine. He's awesome, Like he let us pet the K nine talk to us about life, and we just educated him right about the perspective that some people have, why they have it, and making sure that they're educating they got a well balanced perspective about you know, people, about race and about different things that transpire in the world and don't treat it like his fantasy land. So when they go out into the world, they get a dose of truth, they're not surprised, right.
Yeah, man, that's that's great. And I feel like, no matter what creed, color, religion, that's just good for any kid to know, right, know that balance and be educated on what's going on the temperature of society and not be in that bubble because then you said, you're setting them up for to be surprised and set them up for conflict and failure later on with some kind of situation.
Are you writing a book? You should write a book. Have you written a book?
Yea, yeah, yeah. I came out with one little autobiography.
But I am writing a journal because I'm a big like devotion guy. Yeah, and so I've been writing a journal like an everyday deal. That's what I do every single day. Like I got a routine to where I journal and I write and some working on that.
Okay, I love that. That's that's awesome. And then obviously with you know, speaking in COVID and all that stuff, where you're doing just a bunch of zooms and being able to still go out that way at least, oh, Yeah for sure.
So doing doing a lot of zooms WebEx Microsoft. Yeah, but also going to some sites with some engagements that I have and just simulcasting out. So I'll go to a site and it'll be like the leadership there and I'll go speak and then some teams are still you know, going live, and so I'll come in, you know, socially distanced, and now I'll go in and do my work.
So it's been cool, it's been neat.
That's awesome. Well, Inky, thank you so much for your time. Brother. We really appreciate it. We're privileged to have you on here, and we really encourage our listeners to follow you Inky Johnson motivate on Instagram and Inky Johnson dot com is your website.
Because they took his other name, it's not fair, but still follow him because he's.
So we Again, man, we appreciate you. When all this COVID stuff is over, Man, if you're ever in Nashville, hit us up. We'd love to get together.
Absolutely. It is a pleasure.
Thank You're the best.
Thanks Inky, Thanks, brother, appreciate you, Thank you.
Oh my gosh, I love him the Can he please be your alarm clock every morning?
If I if I like a voice member of anduld be like, wake your ass up, Mike, I'll be ready to go.
He's great. I really like him a lot.
Told you you like him.
I I'd love to see him live.
I mean, oh my gosh, it would be amazing.
We hire him for a private, right, Can you come over to our house and just have.
A private boy.
I mean, he's in the Atlanta area, and whenever we get our wind down shows back on the road and we get to Atlanta, we're going to get him out there, I hope.
So I know, Yeah, he's awesome. So you guys definitely follow him and motivate yourself because he'll motivate you. Motivate yourself.
I think we got an email or something. Let's wrap up with that.
Let's take a break, and then let's do the email.
Boobo sounds good.
All right, Let's finish up with an email. This is from Kate. I've been with my boyfriend for almost fifteen years, and a few months ago I discovered text messages, chat apps, and some other stuff that made me extremely uncomfortable. I confronted him and we talked about how I felt. He was super apologetic and promised that it would never happen again. We'll fast forward a few months and I see that
app on his phone yet again. I called him out and he told me he was reaching out to people to see if they were also going through the same feelings he was. I've suggested counseling and he wants no part of it. After reading your book and listening to your podcast, I truly think he could be a sex addict and either doesn't know or doesn't know how to admit or express that. I'm just not sure how to bring this up in a conversation in a healthy way.
All or any advice would be greatly appreciated. I mean, we've definitely been through this, you know, with like I'll never do it again, like with the apps and the texts and you know those things. And I think when they say they'll never do it again, but then they do it again, that that's that then is the potential of some kind of potential addiction maybe or just not not necessarily.
I think, you know, that behavior is just trying to save face, be like I'll never do it. Yeah, okay, okay, okay, I never did it again. There's a lot more that goes into the addictive pattern, but you know, if I don't know the whole, this is tough. It's tough. It's tough to bring this up because she's going to get hit with defensiveness. You know, like if she's like, hey, I think you're a sex actor. I think you have is she's going on, you need to go see somebody.
If he's not willing to see somebody, he's going to be defensive.
So then what why you know, I'll just point this to you because you know, maybe she can relate. When you've deleted things and then then you do it again with chat apps or you know, like the the app that you had and then redid it last year, it's like, well why you know, like, what what are you guys searching for? Especially when you say you'll never do again. This will help Kate.
I mean, I can't answer for him because everybody's different, but he's he's clearly searching for something that he feels like he's missing, whether it's autonomy, whether it's connection, whether it's.
By the way, it makes none of it right, just that Foine.
No, no, no, no, not at all. Unfortunately. I appreciate you know, her asking how to bring it up in a healthy way and I think along with that, she just has to kind of state to boundary and it's telling and be like, look, I love you, I just I need you to talk to somebody about this, and until you do, says some sort of boundary. You know, they've been together fifteen years, they have a lot of history, so he needs to be able to respect that. And she can say, I'm not telling you what you can
or can't do. I'm just asking you to please go talk to somebody because I need this.
Yeah, I mean, and if he doesn't, then you have to wonder what you're non negotiable as, Yeah, because if he doesn't want to go to therapy, then you know it's probably gonna happen again.
Yeah. I mean it's very seldom just not saying it's not possible, but very seldom to someone stop secretive behavior behavior cold turkey, you know, like typically they have to do something to kind of recover from that and find a healthy outlet and talk to somebody and digest it, dissect it where it's coming from, and process it. So that's my only advice is just I mean, I think she has a good mindset coming from a healthy place, but just deliver it from a healthy place, and I think it'll be okay.
Yeah, definitely lead into it vulnerable, say what you want, but also what you can't, you don't want, and what you're not going to stand for, because that's that's not okay regardless. You know, if he's looking for something, he needs to express in a healthy way and not go behind your back and do those things because that's childish. So we have Thanksgiving coming up. I'm so excited.
I cannot wait.
I'm a little sad though, well, I mean it's you know, it's just weird not being home for Thanksgiving. Yeah, you know, grandparents are getting old. It's just sad. But this is the first year you're going to try to attempt the turkey.
I'm cooking a turkey.
Yeah.
On the stuffing, this justin.
This flash, Well I knew I was doing the stuffing, which there's a lot of pressure on me.
A ton of pressure because stuffing is like my favorite thing and the entire.
Planet box stovetop.
Let's do it.
What's your favorite Thanksgiving pumpkin pie?
All day? I know you hate pie.
It literally tasted crackers. It's like the cross is love pie. I mean, my grandma made a great pie, but I just don't think I could do it. Remember the time you tried making pie crust. But the stuffing is going to be great, and I mean, you know, you'll just have to give it Grandpa's love.
I'm gonna try, but I hope.
All of you guys have a happy and healthy Thanksgiving and just there's a lot to be thankful for. I know it's been a crazy year, but try to look at the little things and find even if it's the smallest thing, there's still plenty to be thankful for because we're alive. We're listening to this right now, and yeah, we love you guys. Happy Thanksgiving.
Happy Thanksgiving, guys.