Hey, guys, what's up. It's Jane Kramer and you're listening to the wine Down. Whine wind Down. Um. I love wine and anyone who follows me on Instagram at Kramer Girl will know that I love to drink my wine and this is my time to wind down with some wine and talk about how my child winds. No, but seriously, I'm I'm here for you guys, um as a mom, as a friend, as a sister, as just a pal, and we're going to talk about it all. And I'm super excited about it because this is my time right now.
This is my time to hang out with you guys and just chat about what's going on in the world, what's going on in my life, what's going on in your life, and we're just gonna have a great time and get through it all together. Life. Life, man, life is something huh. As a mom, it is, it is. But it's also like the whole journey of becoming a mom too, Like even when you're single, It's like when I was single, I still wanted to be a mom.
So it's like that whole process of like getting to be a mom, right, like trying to find oh my gosh, since I was like five, and everybody knows. Really, did you know? By the way, this is producer Jen. She's amazing and she's got kids. One we have one. He just turns six. A boy. It's a boy. A little people, really fun, super fun. What do you do with that? That's a thing. Like I'm so afraid to have a boy because it's like I know what to do with the girl stuff, but like the boy thing, I don't know.
He's like so little and like, well, I know when he was smaller, I would just wash him. And now I'm a little weird. Right, you take your back like you white? Yeah, you do? You stay away from that weird. What's his name again? Rocco? Rocco? Where'd that come from? Um? I named him after sat Rocco, who is a saint, the saint of healing. Oh that's beautiful, it's really beautiful. The only saint that actually has a dog in the picture. Don't have dogs. He's the only one, a little Rocco.
I love that? Did you just want one? Yes? I love that? Yeah, I just wanted why I was a one. I have two older sisters, but they're half sisters, so I wasn't only and I just never. I'm going to be really honest, I didn't grow up wanting to be a mom. Really, although I think I'm a really good mom, the best that I can be, no judgment. I'm just curious.
I don't know. I just didn't have that the mom thing, the mom thing like you could have been okay, Like this is what I always say to my girlfriends that are like, I don't know if I want to be a mom. I'm like, if you were sixty years old swinging on your front porch, would you regret not being a mom, and you would have said no. I would have said no. But it's because I didn't have the experience. Now that I have him, I can't see my life any other way. But I didn't. I wasn't that person.
I didn't know, and you were just like just one and done, just one and done. I always get like, what happens if, like my girlfriend Briann just had a baby boy and she just wants the one, but like don't you want like your insurance baby? If something happens and it's terrible to say, but like no, I'm actually terrible to say. I mean, but like then you'd be like, I don't know right, because then you have to think about having another one if something was ever to happen,
which is terrifying, terrifying. I I've thought about that, um, but I think I'm at a point where I don't think I would have another baby. I really don't unless I had a surrogate, because I did not like being pregnant. I was not that person that loved like you who I love beautiful or feel beautiful. I was sick for the first few months, and then it was working a lot,
and I just wasn't into it, right, That's okay. Yeah, I was totally into him when I had him, but I just can't imagine, you know, going through the whole experience again. Yeah, but something and women there are other women who absolutely love it. Yeah, I don't know. For me, I was just like I just I always knew that once I was a mom, that was going to be
my my purpose. But at the same time, now I'm having struggling with now finding me through motherhood, which is a crazy journey too, because you're like, man, this was I thought, this is going to be like my purpose, and it is my purpose, but now I still need to like be me too, which is a struggle, you time, me time, What do you do for you till that's the problem. I got to figure that out because it's like I'm always just with my daughter, and so now it's like, now this is the start to be able
to do you know. This podcast was like said, this is something for me, gives you time. And granted, yes it's talking still about my child, but I'm still a connected door. But it's this is like what makes me happy and I need that because if not, I'm just gonna lose my identity. And I think that's a problem with moms. Oh absolutely, So why did you have a baby then if you didn't really want one? Because I
was getting older? Oh that clutched by that? Yeah, I was getting older and I had been married for a very long long I was married for sixteen years and you're getting divorced. Yes, okay, I'm going through mediation. I'm not using attorneys. I'm trying to compassionately. Are you okay? Are you happy about that? Or I'm super happy? It just wasn't working. I just kept growing and he relationship it just stalled years ago. Did you try therapy? Yes?
I didn't. Absolutely no. Was one willing to fight in the other not No, I think we were both ready got it both right. So it's like, okay, yeah, how's Rocko dealing with it? There's he's so resilient. I mean, when they're that young, they're like rubber bands. They just bounce right back. What are you fighting over in their mediation? What does it? I mean air miles? I was watching um, you know, I was watching UM wedding Crashers and they were like fighting over the air mouse. He did ask
for half of the miles. He did absolutely stop. I swear, I swear that's on the table, just like in the movies. People. Yes, and uh. He definitely wants the equity out of the house. That's in the house that should be split. It's going to be split. But um so I'll probably sell the house. What else do you want that he's being poopy over nothing. I'm not asking for anything, man, I'd be like, I want it all, give me it all for this marriage that you've ruined. I want the house, I want the baby,
I want it all. I mean, I'm asking for Rocko. That's it. So here's my thing, Because I've thought about divorce millions of times from my awesome husband, UM, and I there we go, ladies and gentlemen. I'm an open book. Um I contemplate divorce on a daily basis. Um no, yes, but um that is my biggest thing is my daughter because it's like I would want to fight for as much custody, but at the same time, I know it's
not good for her. She needs both, right, So like you're you're just asking for like primary, I'm asking for primary. He goes over there every Wednesday night and spends the night at that time and then every other weekend. Okay, So that's what I would want to and I think it's a nice balance for all of us, because you do need a break. I don't know how I was doing it without any break because the three days the weekend, although I miss him, it's made incredible kind of recharge.
We don't do enough of that. So what do you do? Wednesday nights? Usually go out to dinner, I get a massage, I go out with girlfriends. Maybe I should fantasize about that. Then every Wednesday I can by myself. I'm gonna come home. We're like, hey, honey, I'm filing for divorce I on every Wednesday. Like no, but I mean sometimes like, gosh, that would be a great time, but then like what about holidays? Then I gets sad about that. So and then the other girl like I would never want like
him to like be like the other girl around. Oh, that is in the paperwork that we have to meet, um, the other person before Roco can meet them. I think you should do like six months. That's what my brother does, where it's like we have to be dating for at least six months. So it's serious because you don't want just every like freaking chica coming over that he just met at the bar, so like around your son, no, no,
and vice versa. Oh my god, that first meeting I would ruin her and it was like I'd be like, you don't call her your daughter, you don't talk to her. Oh god, that'd be so hard. Girl. I'm sorry. No, it's okay. I'm okay with that. I'm really flexible with it. You're a piece with it, I'm at piece with The Holidays are pretty easy because um, my family's you Ish and his family's Catholic, so he takes the Catholic holidays and yeah, it just works. Can we celebrate Christmas a
month then? Yeah, fantastic