Wine Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heeart Radio podcast.
Hi, does everyone feel like we're on Oregon Trail with the flu?
Deep?
I feel like it's Groundhog's Day. It's That's how it's felt the last couple of weeks, Like every day is the same day? Yeah, over and over?
Yeah?
Is that what that means?
Making?
Okay? That is?
That is what that means? I yeah, my host chat is is I mean.
Just last week and pop it right in.
Maybe we just skip that and go to wine about it?
I know, right well, I feel like it's it's interesting because it was last week I was saying how he had creeping COVID, you know, and then it was you know, I'm like, you know, when you know that something else is wrong? Yes, And I think that's the hardest piece of it is because I'm like, it's something else. I probably I when you know your baby and I'm like, they are screaming in pain, Like he can't tell me what it is, but I don't. He is screaming constantly
in pain. Something else is wrong, you know. And so that pieces was was you know, we end up obviously getting to the to the bottom of it, but it was and I was, you know, when we had the snowstorm right last week and snowstorm you stand, we had Catherine's version of a snowstorm last week.
I was like, there's literally.
When you were raised here, we have to keep defending them.
I just go online and people are like, it's covered in nice like right, let's stay home.
A friend that was like, it looks slick outside. It looks if you've been out. I mean you just put your little tattooth on the ground. Yeah.
But it was all of that, and then you guys know, I mean, Roman is the happiest human beings of all times. Yeah, I mean, like the happiest, and I think what was well? And then also with Alan, thank god he's back, but there was and I was telling Christen, this is so he starts feeling bad, you know, And this was now weeks or whatever. But it's one of those things where I then also got sick. But I'm okay.
I know.
I've gone on my stories and I've complained about complained. I'd be like, oh I hurt my knee or my back, but it's usually one story, blip done. Like I I don't like to chronically complain about things that are minus relationships. We're just being real, right, Like I have chronically complained about relationships on my stories, but not in a way where it's like I'm meaning to. It's almost like I did it as like an out and out cry to
try to relate, right. I don't know, maybe that's kind of how but I've I've followed people who are constantly like complaining about them being sick or and it's like I don't personally like to see that. So I think it's okay to be like I'm down and out, but for some reason, I have a tough time being like, all right, I'm I'm down and out right.
Is it like, do you mean social media or just in general? I think a little bit of both, because I won't ever say right.
Like, I don't feel like, well, exactly, I have COVID.
I figured you probably did. Yeah, I do, sound I am very congested.
So I just saying, so, is there some sort of sponsorship for life?
Well?
But the thing is is like when he started feeling bad, and it's like I don't actually think I got it from him. I think I think my son actually had it, but he just didn't have really bad symptoms because I got it like the next day after, I like my back and it wasn't my normal back pain with my L four L five dispulge.
It was the I mean.
Radiating like pain, a headache that was like that hurts so bad.
I couldn't even frickin think straight. You know. I had a fever.
I'm like sweat, I felt miserable, and then the congestion came, and then the nose and all this. And but I had Alan out of town, right, we had I didn't have I don't have much help and so and then.
He's so a sick baby in fairness, doesn't really want anyone but you anyways, so it doesn't quite matter. I mean, yeah, they're thankful for the dishes and the laundry or whatever, but.
Right, and then I'm not sleeping on top of that because you know, sick baby or whatever. And so I'm you know, so and then I don't know why. I just I'm not going to go on and be like I'm sick too, Like who cares about me? Like we care about my sick baby, you know, like let's let's just I don't know, and I just again, I just don't love going on my story and saying that I'm sick. So then Alan's like, this is the funny piece of it because he's in one right, and I'm answering the FaceTime.
It's like, you just don't seem very happy to see me, and I'm like, I am tired, I'm exhausted, I don't feel good, you know, with me very sick child. I'm sorry, I'm not answering the phone.
Like hey baby, right, you know.
So there was like a piece that. But then when he got home, he was like, oh man, and I mean he saw He's like, this is a lot, and I'm like, yeah, now smile yeah.
And also a week two or three or whatever exactly, yeah, it's a lot. And so he got it.
And so then he took him to the doctor's on Friday, and then the doctor kept saying, well, kids under two don't get struck.
They It's like I've heard that before, so we don't swap them. And so I'm just like, but something is wrong, like something, and she's like, but you know, his fever had gone away, so you know, maybe he just doesn't like the feeling of the it hurts his throat because he's coughing.
She's like, it is really really really red, you know. And so then on Sunday, what she was, if he spikes a fever again, take him in somewhere. Well, of course, he spiked a fever again yesterday, and so I'm like, let's go pack it up. We're going to the walk in, you know, and the lady we checked him for pneumonia because his ox was not great and which freaked me out because it was reading really really low. I go, friend, I don't like this because it was eighty and I
was like, friend, I don't like this. No, it was because his hands were a little cold, Okay, but we still only got him to like ninety. Yeah, he still didn't feel good. I was like, a friend, I still don't like this, Like, yeah, we going to the doctor.
She's like, just just just keep We had to keep it on for almost like an hour before they like felt good with us, like going home because it finally got up to like ninety six, Thank goodness, back to norms ish and so, but she's like, listen, normally kids don't have strap, but lo and behold, they swabbed him and he had strap, and I'm just like I knew it, Like I freaking knew something was wrong in the second
he got antibiotics. I mean, he's feels so much better today, which is glorious and lovely, and so I feel that and so do you, thank you? But I feel like it's just been one of those. And this this goes on top of I don't know if I've I know I've talked talk to you guys about this, but I don't know if I've said it on here.
I can't remember if I have then stopped me I've heard this one.
Yeah, I notoriously have a really hard time in January and February because I don't really know what the year is looking like. I don't know work wise, what it's like. I feel a lot of pressure January, January and February with just like financial stress and what is it going to look? Am I going to work at all? Am I gonna Is this movie really going to go through or not? And so I just feel a lot of pressure.
Come off the holidays and it's gloomy and it's rainy, and it's dark, and kids are sick and mind you, the kids had flu, you know, two weeks prior. So it's just and I really need an I really need a vacation during this time, I really do like I need I need a break, I need some connection time with the husband, And so we were supposed to go somewhere.
It ended up getting canceled for for other reasons, and obviously with Roman being sick and so on top of that, all I just had like this just breakdown where I was just like, I'm I'm so and I know I talked about this. Now I'm like, I'm just so tired, you know, and I'm like I need, I need a refresher.
And so I booked a trip. God, we're going away. We're going to the Bahamas.
But there's a piece of me that's like, oh God, am I gonna get like this in two weeks?
I'm like, am I gonna get the fluid?
So it's like I'm already starting to get like anxiety about do I am I gonna be able to get the break that I so desperately that we all desperately need and want right like I feel like we all when we need we get to that point. I just feel so on edge with a lot of things. And then this isn't even my wine about it, guys.
No, I thought we were just going into the one.
No no, no, so yeah, but do you know do you know what I mean? Like sometimes like and I don't know what it is for you guys, but like I'm I'm so when it comes to like the months, I'm once October hits, I'm okay to hunker down, be home and holidays. I love that time so much with the family. But January February, I now know that I need to at least go somewhere away for like a three nighter with my husband and see some and feel the warmth.
Because yeah, I will say it's I always this, take this for what it's worth. But I feel like, so, Preston, is this exact way January February March.
The sky is falling. The sky is falling. I'm like, oh, I'm like, we are broke, we are saving money.
And we're going.
But I mean I guess yeah, yeah, well and we did too. I mean we did the whole thing on points. I was like, okay, like it felt very savvy. Actually, yeah, I used our I used the air fair or the miles for the thing.
We did do a beautiful resort is gifting. We're so lucky, We're so fortunate. Thank you, so much. Yeah, yeah, no, great, but right yeah.
But also it's just funny because I feel, and I've said this to you before, like I feel like I've married you twice. So I've married I married Preston, and I married you. But I hear things in receive things differently when you say them. I have a different kind of compassion. So I actually enjoy when you talk about that because I'm like, I don't know, I don't maybe I'm not met with all the layers when you hear when you say it, I can hear it differently and
a little more clearly and definitely more compassion. But we are in that mode right now, Like he leaves this week, and I was like, you need to be back on the road because I can feel that when he's out there, he feels like he's really working and doing and like he's working his tail off. We start our own label. It's like non freaking stop right now. But I think the road underneath him makes him feel like when he's out with people and he's doing and he's doing the shit,
like it just feeds him differently. It's the same thing for.
You, no, for sure, because it's like once March hits it's like ads start to pick up some more. I at least know of some maybe potential movie or it just it feels like it's picking up more. It's nicer outside, you know. It's like I and I just iverything gets when it's gloomy, raining and too long, because it's like, again, I love November December doing nothing that when it hits that January February, I get it. Even I freaking did
a movie in January. But still, for some reason, it didn't really feel that felt like last year to me in a way, it was so top of the year. I don't know, you know what I mean, Like I forget, like like, oh, but it just felt like last year and February. No, now that time, these have been really like these two months have been long years. Yeah, I mean like February is twenty eight days and I feel like we've been in it for a hundred Yeah weird,
oh god. But I also think though, and this is something that's an interesting point that I wanted to bring to the host chat about. Is I just and this is this is wildly like you guys already know this, but I just don't think we are allowed sick days so much so that even I love our dear friend that we had, you know, her beautiful event and I wanted to go to but when I was like, hey girl, I'm not feeling well, and she's like, you gotta come.
So it's like to even like say like, I'm not feeling good, but then still it's like no, it's like we have to.
You know.
It's like and I would have felt terrible to miss it, but also it's like.
I don't know how things keep going when we can't be sick. It's like I almost I think one of the reasons why I didn't share it on social media was because I'm like, I almost can't even speak it.
Out that it's true. I just have to go go through it. Same. Yeah.
See, I don't agree with that though philosophy go. I don't. I think with kids we are an allowed sick days, like we still have to parent. But I don't think that we should be forced to do outside things because.
We're sick, even for a best friend.
Well, did you have COVID when we went?
Well, I didn't test until after Okay, so I mean but yes.
I did, So what That's my point. I'm not trying to like throw you under the thing.
But I'm like at that point, like, please don't take this in the wrong way, but like I'm snotty now, it would have been great to have known, and like you stayed home.
But you don't even think COVID is a thing though, like you think I think it's a real thing. No, but I mean like you're like, oh, whatever, it's just like a cold.
Well, it depends on whoever.
I might not think that it was like everything needed to be around it, but I absolutely think COVID was.
It's a real thing.
But I also am very much for like, if someone doesn't feel good, stay home, like you still have to parent, Like and you're exhausted because you still have to parent. I don't like the outside pressure pressure. I'd agree because again you're already exhausted and you don't have a choice but to parent. There's not a choice there, So I think that there should be choice on the other end. I'm not giving you crap. That's fine, we're around each other, stick off.
Well, I'll say this though, like when I did go to I was more just like my headache, back pain was away, my fever was was broken. Right, I would just have exhausted exactly by that point.
But my point for that is that you should you should be able to stay home in that regard, and I think that that's where we all have a really hard time with boundaries. I think that that's where everyone has a hard time saying, you know, no, I can't I'm sick. But I think that that's okay, Like we should be able to do that, and there's certain things where you can't.
Like again, I'm feeling congested now.
I know I get on a flight on Thursday, and I don't have a choice, Like I have to take my daughter where we're going. It doesn't matter if I have the flu, it doesn't matter. I have to go. But I think certain things there should be There should be more we should be able to say, I need to say home today, I'm sick well.
And I also wonder right like we keep saying like it's like running everywhere in it's ramp, but it's like if we all did tend to ourselves better, then perhaps.
Then everyone will be sick. Yeah, when I think it's.
The season two, like today, yeah sixty and like things are blooming and that means.
Probably so much. Sure, that is probably why I'm congested. Because when the weather changes, I always get say and it's gone.
Like I'm not saying you're superad that's but it's a good thing. If everyone really had the time and energy and like the was able to rest.
To sleep and you get hydra get yeah, you get better, quicker, you get you know.
But yeah, I mean, yes, I agree with you.
There is that pressure that people put We put that pressure on ourselves, and other people put that pressure on us. I just don't think that we have to allow it. I mean I think that we it's okay to say, hey, no i'm sick. I'm gonna say home today.
I mean, I'll never forget the one person that and I ended up not going. But it was when I was pregnant with Roman, I had food poisoning and I was like, hey, i've been up throwing up all night and I cannot come. I'm so sorry to miss your event.
And the it wasn't like I'm so sorry, feel better or what can I do even though I don't need anything, but it was but I made gift gift boxes for everybody, and like you have a name, a seated chart thing, and I'm like, it's it's not a wedding and I'm I'm sorry, I don't feel good.
You know. Yeah, it's so it's I think people just need to give grace. I guys, I don't. I don't know where we are. I need my narrator to tell me where we are in the program.
We're not to whine about it yet, Okay, I don't think. But I'm sorry you went through all that. That's hard when you have a sick baby and then you're sick.
Yeah again, I don't. I didn't get to like his level of like right. I just was like because he had like all the body pains, like you know, I had a fever for a day and a half.
But yeah, he I mean he liked Yeah. I will say on the other side of that, though, I do think it's like super super important to like have at least one day where you can just take a minute. Well, it was great.
So the when Alan got home is when he really was like sleeping and I finally and I sleep better when he's here. I don't sleep well regardless when he's gone. I like having him in bed with me. I just I just yeah, I always sleep better when he's here. So the last few nights I just needed a few good nights of sleep, and I'm like, oh, I feel so much better. Like I'm still congested, but again I don't know if that's because of allergies or whatever, and.
Like, you know, yeah, you need to sleep.
And for me, like even though my symptoms were gone, I had like one of those little at home tests. That's why I was like I wonder if I I'm like I must have had it too, you know, just because I had like some symptoms or whatever. But by that point, like I was like my symptoms were not like m like the actual symptoms were like gone, but I was still tested positive.
Yeah. Also just rest and water. I don't know about you guys, but like this is forties.
Yeah.
Yeah, Like if I don't get good rest, like a couple of nights on the row, I felt like garbage last week. And it was just because we did a couple of nights at Opritinland not a lot of sleep, and I mean I literally felt hung over for three days and I hadn't had a drop of alcohol. It was just like run down feeling. That's just super important.
Yeah.
So two things. One, I just want to preface you don't come after me. I do think COVID is a real thing.
I want to clarify.
I just want to clarify.
Yep.
Second question going back to that, So you were having issues with the doctor that we talked about a couple of weeks ago and then he got sick.
Did you take him back to that doctor?
No, so they we have we're seeing someone else in the practice.
Okay, so you went back to that other doctor in the practice and the other yeah.
Well, well the other the other two have been just whoever was on call. But I made sure it wasn't the one that got it we had saw. And then the last time we took him in, I was I stayed, I stayed back. Alan took Roman and I FaceTime with the new doctor that we were going to be seeing. She's the one who ended up not swabbing. We had to do the walk in for the swap. But I said, hey, we're supposed to have a vaccination potentially appointment next week
and a conversation about it. And she goes, let's push it out until he's better. Let's wait a month, And I said, oh, I appreciate that.
All right.
Yeah, yeah, She's like, because regardless of what we do, we're not going to do it when a system's down. And I was like, great, love you already, you know, sure, and I've rescheduled appointment for a month, gotcha.
So but yeah, yeah, I was just curious how that because it's like, wow, that timing. I was thinking about that. I'm like, all that happened, and then he gets sick, So I was curious how I know.
Yeah, so no, And and a lot of people thought, oh, did you did he get a vaccination and then get sick? And I was like no, no, no, So it's interesting.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, I just want to clarify that anybody else what you got going on?
I have to say I had a vulnerability hangover after I left last time. Yeah, spiraled, I spiraled. I was like I shouldn't have cried about it. I should have worded it differently. I even actually sent a message to Hannah and I was like, will you just when you listen, like be really object like am I gonna like look like a loser? Like I don't because I just felt like I wasn't framing it and it's so emotionally charged
for me. Anyways, all that to say, I have gotten the freaking you have the best listeners like these women guys like I am, They are incredible. Everyone's like, you have to do it for you, you are going to love this. I'm sixty three. I wish I would have
done it earlier. All of that, I mean, the most supportive and a really dear friend of mine that I didn't even know was thinking these things wrote and was like Kristin, I this has been bothering me more than I even knew, and listening to you say it like I wept with you because it's it doesn't feel silly, but it feels silly, and it just was incredible. So I'm grateful. Maybe I'll get myself a consultation. I think you all younger right now? Does he want to give
me a discount right now? By one boob get one? Probably? Anyways, I do feel excited, so I think, I mean, for what it's they're lifting me quite literally up. Well.
I think that I hate that you had a hagged over about it, but I'm glad that it seems to I don't.
I mean it just I think because so many people feel the same, which is also why I appreciate us and this format, because I literally keep it in so long That's why I think the tears were there because I've attached a million judgments and everything to it. Anyway, it's not worth rehashing. But I just thought, like, oh, I didn't realize so many women also felt this way.
M hm.
You know, we just don't talk about it.
No, But that's the thing. That's what we're here for. That's what this is here for.
Like, let's just talk about things, and you know, people might might not love that we're struggling with.
It, but that's okay because that's our struggles.
Yeah, that's right. Aimen to that is anyone watching Love is Blind.
Please talk about it?
Can we? Oh my god? I finished? Well, I mean we're waiting right to get twenty eight. Yeah. I'm obsessed with the season. Kramer. It's so good and you have to start watching. You have to. No, no, no, no.
Don't you think he's being a little bit too much about that whole relie. I think you don't like them exactly. You don't like her, that's the thing. He I'm like, he doesn't like her. He's he I don't think he likes her, and he's missing out because she's a great chick.
I you're a freaking girl.
Sorry, I just feel so bad for her because it's like he's, yeah, he's making Lauren feel so bad about something that's so insignificant.
They weren't.
It wasn't even a boyfriend, it wasn't even a relationship. So it wasn't before she It was before she knew he existed.
And who gives a flying float whatever that.
It was? Who cares that she was hanging out with them or hooking up with them a day before that? It's nothing? Who can okay? And doesn't mean she's not right for marriage?
Hey?
Well, and are we speaking for you or passion?
No?
I would agree, And I think I like the season the most. I told Preston this a because I do think there's some Midwest roots that feel really good while we're watching. But I also feel like it's a very emotionally mature cast. Like for some reason, the way they're sorting things and the way they're holding things, the way they're phrasing things, the way that they don't feel the pressure to have to say yes or leave with someone, I'm just like, Oh, this feels good. I like it.
I do believe Mason got a short end of this, Like I don't believe that he should have been treated that way.
I would say, we disagree, okay, m hm. So I don't like that he too time in.
No, I don't like that he told the but I don't think the punishment should have been that harsh.
I don't think so either. But I also, I mean, if you know you're someone's not someone's first pick, right, I think he started to scramble. He did also give the guy a little like it was just a little too harsh in my win. Okay, I'll give you that only because the premise of the show is date these people get to know these people. But I also, man, it is like, also, dude, come on. Yeah, I'm trying not to say too much because Kat hasn't watched it yet. I really wanted to get in.
You can say as much as you want. I probably won't watch it.
I know.
And he's adorable and I think he's so cute. I'm excited for the second part of the season when they all get to finally see each other and like, because I really think there's going to be we are going to be living in Regretville some of them for sure. Oh, it's such a good season. They're great, I am.
There's another documentary called, uh well, I mean the Gabby Pettit documentary.
I can't. I can't watch it.
I did watch it. I'm not going to be able to watch that one. Alan's like, do you I said, no, I can't.
I'm not.
It's too it's too close to home with the all of it, and I just, for some reason, that one hit me really hard when it happened, and I was like, I just can't do it.
So I did watch it. It didn't show a whole lot surprising.
I mean, I can understand why he wouldn't want to watch it, but it was one of those where I felt like, I mean, they did definitely, like one clip kind of like hit on like the domestic violence part of it, but it really didn't get into it very much, which was weird because it was just kind of more about their road trip and the you know, the police stopped them at one point and there was something, but it didn't I don't know. That part was kind of a bizarre part of the story because it was kind
of showing her as the aggressor and not him. But besides that, it didn't really get into it as much as I expected. It too, but yeah, just hard.
Well that note, let's take a break and then get back to my favorite segment.
Of the show.
About it because we haven't gone there yet. Okay, and we're back.
I love you too so much. I really do. I just really do. I miss us being out. This makes me feel like we're out and I like it, you see.
I like being here cozy.
Yeah, but like I think this is what I always miss, like what I like about when we go out, and so this is what I like.
That's what I was gonna say earlier when Jane I was like, you know, I need a you know away and all that, I was like, man, I just really like being in and cozy. The more I get, I just get worse the older I get. Yeah, I need Son, I do need Sun. I am definitely feeling better already with the sign. I sat out at softball practice yesterday and like, I felt so good.
So good ladies. There's there something in your life kids, husband that you want to vent or need our advice on.
Why did everyone look at me?
And I'm thinking I have I.
Wanted to give it to y'all.
I really don't have anything to I will say, Can I do a quick update to my wine about it last week, you know the whole like cheer and catches and all that she had the best practice of real life yesterday. Everyone was awesome and I'm just really thankful that I spoke up. I'm really proud that I spoke up and it was all a great day and she had the best practice and I'm happy. So that's not a whine about it. Just will update.
Mine might be a tiny whine about it. It's a quick one. But I'm just wondering where we all are with the chores and the kids with chores, specifically probably U Kramer because we have similar ages. I am addicted to efficiency, like it's a very a type oc like I do have compulsive tendencies. It's like a legit thing. So when things don't seem efficient, I get frustrated. When I'm doing the same thing over and over and over again, like cleaning up after people, I get really resentful really fast.
And then I walk past my degree hanging on the wall and I get this like tinge where I'm like, I worked my ass off and now I'm you know, like I have three clients I clean up after. Okay, So my question is I guess and maybe it is slightly whining about it, but like I'm kind of all set cleaning up after everyone, Like the rooms are always a mess and they are kids, And I remember, Legend has something in his brain. I'm going to find out
what he is. He's very specific and so when he we're really doing well together, by the way, which feels good to talk about that couple's update. He when he creates something, if I make him like clean it up at the end of the day, it pains him, Like it's it's not a little kid throwing a fit kind of thing. It's a very like soul crushing. So so i've he has created in that He's created a cruise ship inside of his bedroom right now, and it is
made of magnetiles and a tiny million trinkets. He's collected rolls of tape things from all over the house to create this cruise ship and it's it's incredible. Also, it is massive, and it is now it's on its fourth week at sea, and I'm exhausted, and I would love for it to be Like, so, at what point are we like, you know, like we don't want them. I don't want them operating out of fear like I did. But then I also I'm just like like I would love a clean house once in a while too.
Help me, well, I will say, when do chores start, like my kids haven't done chores.
For a while.
I mean, we're doing chores, by the way.
Let me just I don't feel like kids doing chores is for the OCD at heart, because, for instance, our kids have to do the dishes, the big ones, so Caden and Emmy switch off. Well, when Emmy's at cheer, it might not get done that night, but guess what, it's going to sit there and it's going to wait for her to do it, which would.
Kill you kill But I can feel my throat, yes exactly.
The dishes don't get done the way I want them, they don't get put away the way I want them. I've learned to just go, okay, you know, hey, guys, let's do it this way. But it's never done perfectly because they're young, and it's not how they want it. It's how I want it, you know. So I've had to learn I'm not OCD, So I even I've had to adjust with that.
Will that part won't be hard for you, I can promise you that.
Like I've left it to Okay, it's in the rooms, so now, like common space is always cleaned up. Legend does do that. He loves to put the way of the dishes in the morning. Like they have these like household I don't even like to use the word chores, but like they have the household responsibilities to do with us every day. The rooms. I'm like, am I raising savages?
Well, I would make them clean their own rooms. I mean maybe with help.
I mean I feel like Ramsey now at this point, she's eight almost nine, she cleans her room. Is it done to the level that I would like? Absolutely not, So I still have her clean to her ability, and then I may come back and do a little bit more. But like if she's super proud of it and things that looks great, I try not to touch it.
Okay, I mean they do clean, but no, their versions and never gonna be aversion.
I'm not cleaning my older kids rooms. I'm not touching them like they are.
Nick, do you clean up after him at all?
I am? Okay, Well, it's kind of changed through the years because we're just so busy, but.
Yeah, yeah, it's hardily.
My kids are like they're they're great with They always put their plates in the sink after they eat.
You know, they.
Put the milk away. They do cereal put the cereal boxes away. Sometimes do you have to remind them, Sure, but most of time they do. They are now doing making their beds, you know, before school. But it's in they they do their i quote unquote their laundry. So they they throw it in, yeah, and do that and then you know, stuff like that, so they bring it down, they'll put it in. I obviously fold it and put
it away and all that. But what I and what I'm trying to do with the kids is Okay, hang your jackets here instead of just throwing them on the ground. Those are things that I have to kind of remind them. And then when it comes to uh uh. The big big thing with them is trash. I'm like, you guys, when they're in the playroom or I'm like, you have a trash can?
Put this this trash? Why is it?
Like?
This is not They'll put it in like a cubby. I'm like, this is not a trash can. Please, And I'm like, what can I do that can help you? Would you like an actual trash can in the playroom. Now, would you like me to move the one from your back, or like get another one so that way you can. So I'm going to have to get a one because it's like they just can't go from the playroom to their room to throw it away.
It's just too fit. Trash is where I'm struggling.
But what I will say to this and what has helped me is and I know I've talked about it at some point on some either adult education, I don't know what we're here, but Amy had said, because my thing is I always feel like things are being left for me to clean up and put away, and you know, it's like nobody cares that they're walking over the coats. It's like, why can't they just pick? I mean, and I mean every human in this house. I feel like I'm the only one picking and putting, you know, and
it gets becomes frustrating. And so what Amy had mentioned is she's like, in however many years it is, ten, twelve, whatever, She's like, you will so badly want that box of cinnamon cereal on the counter. And she's like, and this place Matt left or the best She's like, you're going to want that. She's like, and your house is lived in and it's loved. So she's like, it is a lived home with children, and she's like, you're going to
want that when it's gone one day. I agree, so just to go, Okay, this is a.
Very lived in, beautiful home with children, and I feel that way. I think your progresm is is that I go, when does it go lived in? To take an advantage of? And that's where I'm like, I don't want to do this, like I love that, like there's a mark on the wall. I don't care, Like I I feel like the third baby really did it for me, if I'm honest, like after three you just really have to let go. You
have to. But like I'm just like, damn it, you guys, Like there's like and I don't get angry anymore, but I am to the point where I'm like, this is unfair to me. Like I could also be doing other things. If I wasn't constantly cleaning up everyone's everything.
I would just keep having them do it. I do and I don't may not be perfect, but it'll you know.
Yeah, don't make the way that I would.
But I'm like, great, that's how that's so creatively cute how she wants to make it awesome.
Yeah. I like that, I do, but we don't make beds, and I think that could be a really good habit, so I actually, yeah, we take that and we're gonna try it on this week.
Yeah it's fun because the way that they make it is really cute.
Yeah, I think, Yeah, I don't even care how, I just will. Honestly, I'm at the point where I'm like any sort of effort feels so like Legend loves to clean, he loves to spray things down and white things up, and I'm like, that is handsome. I could care less what your sprain, just keeps sprain.
I think our challenge is that because the kids are in two different houses, how they treat one house is acceptable. And that's what we're trying to manage over here is like this is you don't do that here, you know
what I mean. But I'm also trying to remember to have you know what grace, well not grace, but like trying to remember what Amy said, because honestly, that helped me so much not get so anal because and I get so like, oh my god, I saw and this really gets me is when I see a ring on the table that my new table is ruined because if a you know, someone didn't use a coaster, stuff like that when it is an expensive like I work hard for to have these nice things, and.
It really like I get really upset that.
I'm like, does nobody respect the like that's a nice, lovely wooden coffee table we have, you know, But then I just have to remember to take a breath.
That's why we don't have those nice things.
Well, like I grew up not having like we didn't have new things, Like we really didn't, like we really didn't have the bestest, newest, nicest things. But like my dad was so of all the things my dad wasn't My dad was really big about instilling that we just take good care of what we have. So when that
I think that's part of it too. As I'm going my raising savages, like you know, they already live in such such an insta world in a society where they can you know, they don't They're not like hey can I can we we the they say the words can we order this?
Yeah?
You know, like it's like a wild So maybe it's a disconnect even just from like the way I was raised in the good ways to like, am I doing a good enough job? Like, are you guys going to be good members of society or are you going to be the guy in love is blind that she can't stand to be around because you leave your trash on the counter.
You know, It's that all kids are like that, They really are. You just have to keep reminding them. Yeah, And I mean honestly, they'll get older and friends will come over and it will get worse because and their friends trash it exactly. And I'm sorry to interrupt you, but my room was disgusting. Same, I mean my mother same.
I think back now, and I'm like, my poor mother because she's like, I can't even see your floor. I would leave so much crap and clothes and I mean every I mean you guys everywhere. Now, Oh my god, I've got three things hanging on a chair in my room and I'm thinking about it right now. My throat's closing because I got to go clean it.
Right. But you know, so it's like, we know they're not going to be like that. Forever.
I needed this, actually, you know, like it's they will be fine. And I think again, a lived house is a beautiful house. That is kind of the quote that I continue to repeat to myself so I don't lose my want to lose. I don't want my kids to be fearful that if they don't hang up their coat in the in the mudroom.
But I'm gonna lose my That's not fair for them. They're kids. Yeah, I feel like I've been good on that part of it. I think I get too forward thinking. That's where I get which.
Again, I think about yourself in your middle school age, in your room.
They will be fine.
And I think you can keep reminding them for sure. Yeah, they're gonna not probably do it. Just keep reminding them, Hey, we throw this away. Hey, let's do this.
You know, thanks for lett me get it out of my body.
So it's your wine.
I just don't know if we have time now for my wine.
Are you sure?
No?
I think you know you're gonna pinish. I think I'm going to sum it up.
Okay, okay.
I am at an age where I'm just done with people taking advantage. And when I feel like someone's taking advantage and continues to just want to take take, take, take, take, I voice it.
Yeah.
Oh yeah, I wish everyone could see the look on here. I love that.
I love it.
I like this, and I don't know if they're ready for it.
Oh, you haven't done it yet.
No, I have.
It was loud, and but no. I I just feel I just I'm just so sick of of of feeling taken advantage of and like someone my ax continues to just take take, take, take take and has no.
And I'm just I'm just done.
I'm like, you know what, I I will always be. I think I did my best. This is a season where I'm at I. I have always wanted to do what's right and the best for the kids and stuff. But I realized, I'm like, I actually don't need to be your friend. I don't want to be your friend, and I'm not going to pretend to be your friend.
I think I tried, but there's a point where I'm like, when things continue to happen and I feel taken advantage of, I'm like, it's not a friend and I'm not going to pretend to be your friend and this is just not okay anymore. And I'll still be kosher and fine for the kids, but like there was no relationship there, and I'm actually like okay with it.
In the season. Good. Yeah, have you read mel Robbins let them. I know we all know the theory, but have you read it yet? No? I haven't get ready. I mean, we all know it enough, and I think with enough therapy and all the amy that we've had, but just man, it is going to be like reading your like I felt like I was reading my diary the first fifty pages. Yeah wild Okay, y'all have to read it, And again a lot of it comes back to me and my resentment for the child support stuff.
Sure that is, by the way, very but also like you know, fair in his point, and I don't want to always go back to it, but that is the piece that's like always hits so hard. But when you're when the other person is also not helping contribute to the things that they legally also need to contribute to, but yet I show up on time every time, it feels again taken advantage of, and it's like, okay, so
it's just it's a it's just murky. And I start to go back to things that he has said that are oh, I'll do this, I'll do that, and I'm like, when they don't come to fruition, I'm like, why did I actually think he would change? Why did I actually think he'd follow through with something he said? And I just realized I'm like, oh no, They'll always be who he's,
who that person is, and it just won't change. And so now I'm just like, and I don't need to believe the lies again and again and again and again, and I have to just swallow my anger and my frustrations of the years of him taking advantage of me. And I think when all this stuff comes up, all that past stuff starts to like fuel that resentment and that hate and anger, and it's like I have to
work through that piece again. So it's like I'd rather just keep him at a distance because that is actually the healthiest thing for me, because the version that he says he's going to be is not ever actually going to happen. So I start to trust a version and it goes right back to the original. So I'm like, oh, why did I do this to myself? And then I start to build. Then the resentment comes again, and so
it's just that constant circle of just crazy making. And so I'm like, I officially just have to arm's lengthy away and I will just always and you will just always be the taker in my life, and that's just unfortunate what it is. I just don't want you to attach any judgment to yourself. Like I feel like there's this I have a very it's not similar, but I have a I don't have the same, but it's a similar situation where the resentment is like constant and I've
had to just keep turning it back over. But I feel like every time I turn it back over, it gets a little easier and a little less and I get a little less hard on myself for the fact that I felt resentful. I think like I attached going like oh why do you feel this way, or like shame on me for thinking that, Kristen, or like it's like no, not actually, because that's actually fair to feel
that way. And so I'll just keep turning it back over and eventually it'll just get lighter and easier and maybe I won't even have to.
Well and boundaries are okay. I mean that just that is just I mean, I had a situation with someone, total different situation where I felt like I was being a taken advantage of and I went and said, I felt like I feel like I'm being taken advantage of. I can no longer do X that you have asked me to do and it was taken like what you know, and other people are like, I can't believe you would say that. I was like, I was very kind, but I had a boundary and I don't want to be
taken advantage of. And it's okay to do that. I think we have to be kind, but we have to allow ourselves to have boundaries around ourselves because it shouldn't be able to affect us. And I know that your situation is hard because it's you're constantly having to deal with it, but like.
You have to have boundaries around that.
Yeah, there's no other way to do it because you keep kind of in a way letting him in. Yeah, because you're like, you know, it's going to be better. It's going to be better. We can all get along better, we can all do this, we can all He's not.
Going to do this, And I think he like sweet talked to me in the fact of saying like one day I'm not going to take the check. That's never going to happen, oh never, And so I think with him saying that, it's like, no, you will always take and this is why you've just sweet talked me to believe that, and it's just not the case.
So we're you're you're.
No well, And I think mentally you just have to know you're always going to pay that check. Yeah, and that's not going to be an option, and that is what it is. And so you can get past that. But know who this person is, who is taking advantage of you, whatever the situation is, and just know that it is what it is, and somehow come up with boundaries that helps protect your sanity.
And I think God always supplements in my world forty three years out of forty three years, he is always supplemented where there is a deficit, always. Yeah, So if you have to pay out, he will in surplus catch you on the back end and he will make up for that. I always believe that. And then that can just be between him and God what he has to do. Yeah, that's right, fair to whine about it.
So the only headline that I really that really caught my attention this this week was about salmon sperm.
So weird.
Denise Ridgards is the latest star to try a salmon sperm facial.
So and let me just tell you this.
I have my very first facial, my very first facial where I use the blood.
Oh I love that. I've never done that before and that's been around for how many years? Fifteen? Love it?
Maybe more ever done it? But I'm really trying to again just like help with the elasma stuff and whatever else. And so this lady is like, you should really try that this. I don't know even what type of facial is. Basically they draw your blood, but now salmon sperm facial. Has anyone heard of this?
I would vote me most likely to try anything too? I don't know. I don't know there's a good time to put sperm on your face ever. If I'm honest, I just just here's the salmon. Otherwise it just feels a little tricky. We've all had a little sperm, say it, don't you feel like? I guess where I go is? How did we find this?
Out right?
I feel like what world?
Well I don't get facials often, but I feel like we don't know what's in half of them. So I feel like there's a world where you wouldn't even know that that's what's being put on your face.
And what world are we in?
So far?
Deeply into the salmon that we think. You know, I don't know what this guy could do other than repro.
Well, apparently the salmon sperm facials are said to rejuvenate and hydrate the skin while creating a glowy complexion. But I mean, I think it's one of those things where I mean, if you think about salmon and what it is, right, fish oils very good for you. I mean I take a fatty fifteen, which is a great, by the way, supplement. I love it so much. But h so you know that's really good for you. But again to your points, like how do we come up with this?
Yeah?
And also the next time that you know, like are we going to be spreading listen whatever it's translating, it's translated. Would you do it though? Yeah?
Yeah, I mean I honestly I would do that over like a salmon blood or it's something like that.
Like I'd rather I.
Would do sperm on my face injected.
Sure, I just feel like this.
Is going to be so good. I would do sperm on my face.
I'm just like, don't tell me and I won't know, Like I would have no idea.
Right, I mean, you got to think about what you. Actually this is like, yeah, what you inject in your botox and all that stuff is like, you know, not great so, but this is an injections this is or is it inject I mean it's like a it's like one of those like micro it is in injected in my face, but like it's I think it's I make up that it's the thing that we eat caviar, do we?
I don't people do?
What is what is the thing you wouldn't put on your face for? To help a lot start with that, Like I wouldn't put I would never do like other people's anything. But if it comes down to, you know, a sperm of this, sure, but like I.
Don't know, but when I get to that line, I'll let you.
You let us know where your line is.
Ok.
Yeah, I don't know.
Why don't you try it and let us know how it is? It's probably so expensive?
Oh, I mean, well, first of all, think of the harvesting. I mean that's where I'm like, guys are where these poor guys are they driving into a sperm bank? Like how how do we get into actually that?
I'm saying, Yeah, I'm good, y'all do it. I'm out.
I'm honestly never going to be able to eat salmon the same way.
Now I know, Yike, it's fine, everything's fine.
The only other thing that I saw was Alec Balden's wife Hillary didn't understand what a prenup was but chose to just sign it. You know how I feel about prenup, Sir Alec Baldwin.
Neither people just signing things.
Well, that's that's the that's the headline piece of it that worries me. Because when people just signed, like oh I just signed it, I didn't know what I was signing. You could actually take that into court, like, for example, when Michaels was going to know what I was signing or whatever for the post nup, he was going to use that in court to be like I didn't know.
It's like you knew what it was, you know what I.
Mean, Like, what the hell's the point of even havingny signature if you can just go back and say I didn't know, right, But they can technically use that if they didn't have a lawyer present or if they didn't see Yeah, it's maddening, But the bottom line is always know what you're signing before I sign, and I'm saying this to myself because I will sign anything without reading it.
Catherine here, I would I.
Would have my life rights and my house sold to somebody else, because that's how I don't read stuff.
I'm always like, please do not send this to her, because they do. When they do, it's like.
I'm so sorry, coming in right here, this is actually I do not sign this. I haven't even looked over. I was like, no, it's totally fine. Like I said, I was gonna do it. She's like, you literally give your life away for five years and you get paid nothing. And I was like, okay, you yeah, And I'm like, okay, sounds great. Like I mean, I when we go into like I mean constant, it's just like do you go into autograph just the strips and thank God for her?
I mean somewhere in between. I'm scared to sign anything, but I won't sign anything. But I need a Catherine in my life.
I just which I mean, there are some things that are easy to just sign, but I'm just it just gets to you, and it can get into you in so much trouble. And when me think about the people that we know, celebrities who have gone to jail for just signing stuff that their husbands to help them to sign.
You know what do we know? Well, like Teresa did you Die?
I mean like there's a lot of housewives and different people who have just signed things trusting and have yeah, trusting and I've gone to jail.
It's scary.
Janna Catherine Chris and my husband and I have two kids. Our kids are sixteen months apart, and right now I feel like we are in the trenches. I've always wanted a big family and I'm really wanting to have one more baby. My husband wants to be done having kids
and keeps talking about getting a vasectomy. He feels like two kids is all he has the capacity for, and I keep telling him it's a conversation for a later day, hoping he will change his mind one day when we aren't in the craziness of a toddler and almost one year old. I want to respect his wants for his life, but also can't ignore the nagging feeling I have that our family is not complete and want and my want for one more baby. My question for you is how
do I convince him to try for another baby? How do we move forward in our marriage? Being uncomplete? Different pages about this.
We do not convince anybody, and we just take a minute because this was my life. I wanted a third baby. I always wanted three or four. Preston was a hard stop after two. I mean up until I mean I legend was three or four. I think guys three, I mean, I just think when you are in the thick of it, yeah, you just can't make those kind of decisions. He feels probably scared and at Max, and that is fair. But I don't think we convince him anything, or ourselves anything.
We just take a minute and enjoy the season, get some breatheable room that.
Don't do anything drastic in the process.
That's correct, don't Yeah, Because honestly, like there's a I mean, we have a five year gap between our middle and our youngest, and if you let planner me take over, I would have done them like, you know, back to back to back to back. But that just wasn't the plan, and a lot had to happen between the middle and the youngest marriage wise for us to be a different, better couple. I mean, I just think God's timing is so special and we just need to take our hands
off the rains a little bit. I agree with that and don't let them give a sectomy.
Yeah, just just.
Wait, pause great advice and find a way if it's meant to be.
And enjoy the season. It's madness, but it's amazing.
Also, I saw on that question, I definitely think that it was harder one to two than it is from two to three.
Kids.
She asked about how what was harder to two.
Two to three? Hands down, I do not feel that way really, even with the gap, especially with the gap.
Oh, I thought it was.
I think because I'm like lugging, I have like because she just has to do right, Like I feel comfortable and my parenting is like more relaxed. But like I the the two to three was such a monumental shift because it's me trying to help me out those three baby.
That's fair.
But again to that point, though everyone's experience is so different. That's why you can't interview around. Listen to your heart, don't get an internew on that note, see you next week and I have a lovely one. Bye.