Shining Bright but Doing the Work with Jenny McCarthy

Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm heart Radio podcast.

Oh oh is it the right stuff? The first time? Then I met you? Yep, I'm not the singer. I've got the lyrics.

So I have a funny story about nw kits on the Block.

When I was.

Probably I want to say ten okay, Todd Erworth called, who was my brother's best friend.

Was like, I don't know who Todd is got it. I'm not supposed to.

But I was watching my VHS tape of nw kits on the Block and got stuck with the Jordan when he had the black hat thing, and I remember I never I was like, hey Todd, yep, let me get my brother. One second, I put the phone down and then I see Jordan on the screen. Totally forgot to connect my brother and Todd. And to this day I still remember that. Isn't that sad?

Did Todd listen to you sing your heart out? I don't know? Thank god it wasn't FaceTime back.

But I'm like the things we remember, like what i'd give to remember half my some of my childhood.

I've forgotten a lot, well did, but I'd like to forget. Yeah, it's different than forgetting it, remember, yeah, exactly. I always thought I would marry Joey because we both had asthma and we were both capricorns. How did you know I get asthma because one of the concerts I went to had an asthma attack and he had to go off stage. And I was devastated, like my soulmate, weeping on my chair, devastated that he might not make it. I don't know you would add asthma still do really rods in the back.

I've never seen you take albuterol.

Yeah, I don't. I've been a lot better since I've gotten older, or just I think healthier, probably, but I still carry it with me. Do your kids at asthma? Not that I know of. No, we were afraid Legie did. But m oh, that's right. I do remember that I was a respiratory kid. But I think we're on track.

So so I bring up new kids because we have kind of a well, she's married to a new kid.

She did what we all dreamt to do. She sought out, she actually achieved the goal.

We've got Jenny McCarthy. Wahlberg coming on, which I think is kind of cool too, because she's I wonder if she's tight with all what's his face? Oh my gosh, Mark Wahlberg, marky Mark. Right, she would have to be have to well you never.

Know what look like. That'd be fun.

Yeah, but she's going to be on and then she's, uh, do you watch the MASD singer.

I've watched an episode. It's tricky for me. What's tricky in fact, the mascots are singing. That's hard for me.

I think I remember hearing the concept going this is ridiculous because it just seemed crazy, and then I've watched a few episodes and it's still in my mind so silly. But also for some reason, I can't look away when it's on.

Would you ever do it? I don't think they'd ever asked me, but I would do it. Yeah, I need to be on sete if that happens.

Well, you can't they put they make you these it's I mean, it's obviously very secretive. But my thing is is like, when they're doing the guessing, that's what I want to ask her to. I'm like, I don't know, it's just it's just some.

People have such like obvious voices, right, that's what's crazy to me. And there's so many people that have been on that show. Yeah, and then they also don't they do themes too? Huh yeah, okay, but she is also a mass singer. Come on, no, I mean, who would you dress up as a buy butterfly? Butterfly? I don't know, Actually, no, what would you do? I think that would be a bird? A bird, a song bird. That's pretty Yeah, it has

I've got.

A bird with a beret. Oh what would you do? WWJD. It's a different I don't know, maybe like a baby cream where I got to tell you, I didn't see that one coming. Maybe. I don't know what I thought. It felt like there was about forty five seconds between the start of the book and the end of that word. I guessed about seven things, and a baby wasn't one of them.

I don't know if I've ever seen like a giant baby warning I want.

Well, now I want you to do it like a baby sumo baby. Yeah, okay, feels like a really big office. I don't know. I think we got a fun Oh that's incredible. Well they've never asked me because I can't sing, all right. Well, so let's take a break and then i'll take my breat off. Jenny On, you can get serious. Oh you you're everything I knew you'd be. It's just one thing I know about you is you're just always going to be hot. I mean, it's what we've been counting on.

You guys are so sweet. Thank you so much. I'm more flammable than anything.

I mean, we see they all are. We see the fire in the back too, so don't don't.

Get too close to it.

Also fake is that a TV? And my name?

Listen and my lashes and listens my lips all going on? It's right there Has there ever been a baby as a mess singer? Like I mean, like Jess as a baby totally? And the baby was one of my favorite characters. But if you asked me for a million dollars, who was the baby?

I cannot remember. There's been so many celebrities I can't remember. But it was the cutest costume I think we ever had, was the baby?

Well, so we're just asking like, who would you be if you were the mess singer? And I'm like, I had a different thing. So I was on a butterfly or you know something, and then I was just I said a baby, and then she just started laughing. But I just think a baby costume would be so cute.

One hundred percent. It was so cute.

But we've had some like amazing ones, like the monster one we had was really cute. The snail was cute, which was Kermit the frog inside of a snail costume.

Okay, wait, so we just got word that Larry the cable guy was the baby. Does that see macurret?

That seems right, That's right.

That's way too much for that's like talk about cognitive dissonance. That doesn't. That's really hard for me. That's two set off very large words. So I'm not really oh about me. That's my one smart word of the day, Jenny. Okay, wait, so does the sometimes does the costume sway how you feel about the singing? Because like a baby, like you can't hate the baby?

Well, you know what I think when I see a super expensive costume, because you can tell us somewhere a little bit more pricey. I was like, Oh, this must be an a lister, This must.

Be someone that's going to be here around because they spend so much money in this costume.

And then I'm I'm like, not that everyone's not an A lister, but you know what I mean, a singer.

Let me just put a really fabulous singer, I would think in the most expensive costume. No, so they'll trick you to thinking like, oh, this one's going to be here a while and it's not.

So I guess I figured that there's like some wardrobe warehouse, like a costume warehouse, and they all get to go pick one, but they get to like, DII why this, Like is it Amazon?

They look, they get to It depends on when the celebrities sign in sign up for the show, so sometimes we get people that's like two days before. So the costume designers are pulling together whatever they can, but for the most part they do have and the celebrities come in and consult. They're like, what do you want to be? Well, I want to be a butterfly, and this is how

Okay.

So for my Google search, it started in with South Korea. Yeah, okay, So because when I first saw the show in my mind, I'm like, this is or when I heard the concept because I have a one of my friends produced the show, and so she's telling this to me and I'm like, come on, val like this sounds insane, right, like this is like are we seriously going to watch this? And I was just telling Kristen when I do catch it's so hard for me not to watch because it just sucks you in.

It's like the craziest idea. But what for you is like when you heard about the show, and then what has kept you there that long?

Well, when I first heard about the show, I was like, this sounds weird and crazy and that match is who I am.

So my agent was like he passed.

On it a couple times, and I'm like, why are you passing? Like they want me to do it. I think I can rock this show and it's so up my alley, Like I took so many mushrooms and acid in college. I'm like, it's just gonna be like another mushroom acid trip. And sometimes it honestly feels like that. But I'm like, damn, if I was on a little bit of gummies right now, I'd be like, this show would be a.

Whole other experience. But I'm sober. Don't get me wrong.

Although Ken makes me want to drink sometimes, but nonetheless, I'm so happy though, because it was It turned out to be a really successful show.

And I think it's because too, it checks all those.

Boxes, like you want your brain to kind of think and try to guess who someone is. You know, I love putting together the clue packages. It's kind of like my wordal, you know. I just I love the those kind of brain games.

Sure, how long have you been sober?

For? No?

I just went sober on the show.

She was like, of actually last night, I'm like, is there tea in here? I like to keep them guessing too. They always think latte, they never think vodka. It's tricky.

I do enjoy my vodka.

I will say, Okay, I have I have relationship questions.

Yeah, please bring it.

You've done what we all set out to do, Jenny, you married a new kid, and so that matters to a lot of us. And I will say one of my favorite things about you is a you've always been like. So you're not much older than me, but I always feel like you've just always been more confident, and so I've kind of just looked it up to you in

I'll tell you having a lot of failed relationships before this and learning the lessons in those failed relationships and not carrying that baggage over. So with each relationship, I did the work on myself. And before I met Donnie, I did a year of like celibacy and was like, I ain't date no one. I'm not having sex with anybody. I'm just gonna work on myself. And I worked on self love. I know that might sound corny, but I did a lot of that kind of spiritual work, and

And I realized that is that's a losing bet right there, Like I.

Need to shine as bright as I possibly can and have someone walk with me that shines bright in his own lane and we move forward together. Because it was a lot of like I would be like trying to pick that person up. I've got energy, here's some So after a year I still wasn't kind of looking And then I interviewed Donnie on one of my talk shows and was like, Oh, he's smart, he's funny, and he's.

Cute, and he's got a good book.

And we had just probably made you feel beautiful too, Like I could see him just being complimed he of you and making you feel like probably the only girl in the room right totally.

And we and we've been married now ten years, will be ten years in August, and it's and it's it's not it's not like we just are like it's not like a Disney movie where we're always like having a bird fly on our shoulder and like tell a lot, we do the work when there are bumps, when there are triggers, like we sit down and we do this thing called the work. It's actually called the work, and it's by Byron Katie. I don't know if you've ever

You can actually print out the worksheet on her website.

And it's like, I am angry because da da da da da, And you write these out and by the end of the sheet you have an epiphany, an awakening, a turnaround. And it's amazing how you can meet someone that you're so mad at for a dumb reason or a serious reason and find that space to heal, forgive, love and move on.

And Donnie and I have always done.

That and we are closer than ever now if you're ten years like, we call each other probably fifteen times a day, and I I just love them.

I just love them. But it's also a reflection of where you are.

You know, you have to work on you to reflect because you're out a world reflection, you're.

In a world.

What do you think was one of the biggest hurdles that y'all face as a couple.

I guess initially there are always phases, you know. Maybe one of the initials was like, will our kids? Because we came together like Brady Bunch, both of us had sons in the same age, like will our kids get along? And will they look like us? And so that was a very scary hurdle and it turned out great, of course, but it was something we were kind of walking slowly and making sure that all emotions were good and we handled it correctly.

And then it was a matter of.

Recognizing patterns we were bringing into an old relationship. And I can give you, guys a really clear, awesome example that I might have not said before in a talk show, but this might help somebody. So when Donnie and I first started dating, he would walk into the room like the bedroom, and I do this with my phone and he'd be like hmm, and that would kind of he was just taking note of it. And then the next time, you don't come in the car and I'd be like this,

Or flipping it probably the other way too.

Exactly.

I do this a lot, not just because I'm like okay. I do it as a like a all right, I'm all yours right, you know, but not like private.

But yeah, but you're good to know, but I would be like hiding it under a pillar like it was we.

It's under a rud you're moving furniture.

Look at the squirrel out the window distraction.

And so we early on before we even started having problems, and it was kind of weird to date someone and go like, will you go to a therapist with me so we can establish foundation. So I'm like, how are you a person that shuts down? Are you a person that likes to talk it out? So we worked out these things so when she comes up, we can handle them correctly. So when we checked in with our therapists, it's like, how are things, How are things going?

And Donnie said, you know, I'm there.

I feel myself becoming a little bit worried, resentful, jealous of like why she's all of a sudden dropping her phone or hiding her phone when I walk in a room, I think, is she having an affair on me? Like most people would hide their phone if they're, you know, talking to somebody else, like maybe she still has guys around. And I was like, wow, this goes to show you how if you don't communicate with your partner, it would

Put the wrong thing in the casket. Sys maybe it should have been the dude, not the phone, let me tell you.

And that's one of the great relationships that taught me self love though. That's the one that I realized, wait a minute, I deserved better. But I went through years of like having to hide my phone because I couldn't be on it technically. It was very bizarre the fact that I would let that happen too. I was like, what the hell is wrong with me? But when Donnie, when I explained that to him and went in detail about that relationship, he was like, oh my god, I'm

Right because he knew it wasn't had anything to do with him or exactly.

So you can see how it takes work to work through. It's not just sunshine and roses and butterflies. You have to do the work.

And that's why I think after ten years we are closer than ever.

I love that. I really love that we're on year nine right now.

Wow, that's great.

Yeah, my second husband learned a lot from the first. I would say, yeah, And I think it's been interesting because I think he grew up in a wildly avoidant family and I just grew up, like I always say, I grew up in all conflict, no resolution. He grew up in only resolution, no conflict. So it is like you know where I'm like, let's talk about it. But there was never It wasn't even a good balance. Like I came at him like, you know, crazyly.

I got you. I got friends like that too.

Yeah, where I'm like you just tell me and he's like, whoa, this feels aggressive and I'm like, well, everything feels aggressive if you're not just being silent. So it's been Yeah, like we've just been even recently. I was like, hey, I don't feel kind of sad about this week coming up bringing up something for me. And then we talked about it and I felt better when I When I sit on it and stir, it gets worse and it.

Comes out in different ways, like it'll seep out and you're all of a sudden pissed about the toilet bowl seat.

You know, you're like so furious that the turt toy. Why are you leaving it up or why are you leaving it down?

When really, in actuality, it's what was bothering you exactly.

My therapist always says that you're giving it more energy by holding it in, So if I release it, then it's I'm like, oh, okay, I actually feel so much better now.

Yeah.

I also actually sometimes when I say it out loud, I'm like that that was actually quite silly. I'm really sorry actually, And you know.

It's another great tool that Donnie and I do, And.

We do this like like every time we'll have a long flight, we'll play play this game called Questions, and we'll we'll ask you out the questions.

There's no ego. You can ask anything you want.

You can bring up anything you want without saying like why did you hold on to that so long? It's just whatever. But we always ended with or if we don't have anything to ask, it's one question, which is what can I be doing better? And it's such a wonderful question to ask in relationship. But do you have to be secure and know that whatever your partner says, you can't go.

What do you mean the defense needs to not be on the top.

Yeah?

Correct, correct, correct, And it's really quite beautiful because there's so many things I learned about Donnie that I would have never have guessed unless we played that little like what can we do better for each other?

How old were you when you guys started, when you guys got together?

I think forty one?

Okay, so was then the kids having a kid together out of the question.

Or oh well not biologically, but you were done.

I was done, he was done. We five dogs.

Those are our babies now and everyone gets a lot. I love that the kids get along too. Sets great.

And your son's working on the messinger, right, is that what it is?

He's working the messing and it's so cute. He works the audience loadens. He's like welcome everybody, and people are excited to see him. I know.

It's the sweetest thing ever.

That's so sweet. How often are you doing that? Like, how long do you record for? How long does that go?

It's about a month or so, maybe a month and a half and for but we do two seasons, so it's about maybe three months out of the year.

Is there anyone that had just I mean, obviously they all kind of surprise you, but is there one that you just were one memorable one that you were kind of mind blown over.

Yeah. When my husband surprised me and I didn't know, Yeah, I.

Was totally totally freaked out because we talk all the time.

But he was calling me.

He's like, I'm on set and he's in another set next door with the same background of the set of Blue Bloods, meaning like you know, an off stage kind of exit door.

They all look like the same, So I never thought for one second he was in the other room.

So when they took off that rooster mask, I was like, that's when I thought I was on acid or mushrooms. I was like, what, uh, why the rooster you know, that's the costume that they just had available.

Because I was going to make like a ceoc K joke. I wasn't sure what was going on. I was like, what do we know about that?

Of those I don't think they care a girl. How could you not? Donnie Wahlberg, is you know in a rooster costume?

It's your husband, not mine. I mean, I'm not going to make it an appropriate joke, but.

Let's just say rooster feet were very large.

But okay, can we can we ladies? Can we talk about formless beautiful beauty?

Please?

Please please? I'm so excited.

Okay, tell us everything.

I will. I'll tell you everything in a nutshell and you'll appreciate it.

We're forty and we need we need some coverage here.

Well, we also need clean makeup because like our daughters are moving into that season too, and that's the part the matter most to me too, that there's like an alternative.

For her and can you cover my malasma?

She'll cover right my Mommy clients are always like, thank you so much because my daughter always bowers my makeup and I know that your makeup is so incredibly clean. The reason why I started is because God forbid, we don't need a celebrity another celebrity makeup brand. But when I did my homework, because I am vigilant on ingredients, even at the grocery store, I couldn't can.

I swear, I couldn't forget do what you want. I couldn't create that.

That makeup was like it's still it wasn't regulated after eighty years, Like.

I was like, what are you talking about?

And then I found out that there's formeldehyde in mascara, there's hormone disruptors, there's forever chemicals which cause cancer in mascara, in most mascara. And I remember the people saying good luck trying to make a mescarra without the forever chemicals, because I'm like you, you sit back and you watch me.

Did I bring it with me? But we made the most incredible freaking mescarea. It's sold out. It's been sold out.

We won't be able to be in restock until probably just because I had no idea. So many people care also about ingredients, but performance too, because I would buy these like organic makeups and I'd be like, row, you know, it just didn't perform great. So we are so slow to roll out products because they have to pass my stringent, like vigilant ingredient thing.

We followed the EWG, the EWG.

Guidelines of non acceptable ingredients. If you don't know who they are, the Environmental Working Group.

They only ban like fifteen things, and I'm sorry here, we only ban like fifteen things, right, and like European standard is like tens of thousands.

That's right.

We followed the EWG, which has nine hundred pages of unacceptable ingredients. So we don't use telc in our eyeshadows because there's a lot of asbestos in eyeshadows. That's why I tell mommies, like, if your kids gonna play with stuff, let them use the non asbestos makeup. Our lip glasses are all ingredients you pronounce like alo.

Yeah, I want this one here on the site right there. It's like it's like a tan vibe adding to part.

Did we I think we got we're sending you guys. That's what I heard, the whole kitten kaboodle. So you guys want to get everything amazing. Yeah, I finally get your Maskcara, but it sold out. It's still sold out, right, Yeah.

It's sold out.

But we just yeah, we just are about to launch, if not already. We did launch the eyelashes and why did I make lashes because they're amazing.

Lashes are everything, they wake you up, they're just like you.

But the bands were always so thick or the lashes look so ridiculous. I'm like, oh, it's dressed up for Halloween every day wearing lashes like this, Like we all know that girl that goes to yoga and those lashes that are way too long. So I'm like, can I make an every day and a pump up lash? So the ones I'm morning today are flutter, which I love because they're sohat good for everyday use. And then we came out with a brush collection, which mine are kind

I'd be really gross right now. I can't tell you the last time I washed my brushes. I need new brush.

Well, they're also saying now not to wash your brushes because then there's even more like I think it's just like a new brush idea. So maybe this is what we need.

This is what you need, and guess what you guys are getting them, so you're both gonna be getting one. But we have twelve brushes and they're super nice. They're like fancy, fancy nice.

But does it come as a set, because that matter.

Comes with the whole set, the whole travel kit.

Okay, I wish you could marry me instead. I get so frustrated because I'm not a makeup girl, and then I get on to try to find a brush and I'm like, I don't know what I need and trying to writ mean online is hard. I want like, just give me what I need.

That's exactly right. This is exactly what you need. And if you're still like is this the contour brush or is this the blush brush? Like if you don't know, if you follow us on TikTok, we have the most amazing quick tutorials of like we blow up the shadows of which ones the makeup artist is using, and then it goes to the next color and it's like a fifth because you don't who wants to watch it half in our no one? So we put them down in

When did the because I don't when do the brushes hit the website? The eleventh Okay, so when people are listening to this, then people.

Are listening to this, it will be up and you'll guys be able to get them, but you're just gonna get the whole kit and kaboodle.

And I problemly didn't know there was that bad of stuff and it's kind of disturbing me now. I didn't realize it was that bad of stuff in makeup. It's like bad, bad, and it's what we put on our skin, which makes me so sad, like it's our biggest organ it makes me I have there's actually a EWG app that's what I used to type in products for foods and like anything for the baby.

We just submitted our we submitted our EWR all of our products EWG and we're now in Phase two because they go and then they do third party testing and everything.

So we made it through Test one.

Of course we were going to pass because we followed their strict guidelines. And I'm just excited because I wanted to be that brand where people go, I know I can trust her. I know I can trust her because now everyone cares about shareholders stakeholders, and that's their line.

Like when all these people are talking about clean.

Beauty and then I dive into their ingredients. I'm like, whose standard are you going by for clean?

Because it's not how This actually makes me have some more faith in that because EWG app, so do you remember the think dirty app? And I might get thrown under the bus for this, I don't really care. But then I started to understand that people were buying into that, and so then it wasn't always an honest take on what the ingredients were because money was feeding it. So I actually have more faith in the EWG app now knowing that they're shaking you down, our sweet soul sister.

Well, you know what why I followed their guidelines is because they don't. They're the only agency that's not captured. Because let's be honest, the FDA is captured. A lot of these people have lobbyists that are just captured. EWG does not have that. They're the only non captured agency that are working on behalf of humanity, and that resonated with me and I. You know, even though they drive my chemists, my chemist is ready to jump out of

That's my visual every time I call him. I'm like, but you can do it, buddy, you can figure this out.

Imagine you're we're going to raise a beauty bar and they're all gonna be walking behind you, and we're gonna be proud, because once we do it, then others will follow.

You know, I really need this Messcare to come back and stop, because I low the messcara I'm using right now, like so bad. It keeps going underneath my eye to you know when you put it on and then about like two hours later because I sweat and it's just like you see the black underneath there too. You can almost guess it's organic mescaa when you see somebody with them.

And you're like, hey girl going for that clean makeup? Yeah me too, it's so clean.

Or you see those people using the mascara on the influencers and the lashes all of a sudden go up to here and you're like, well, it really elongates.

It long gates because there's microplastics in it.

They put microplastics in your mescarrat and make those long things. I'm like, I don't want to microplastics in my eyes, I'm already like leached out fake fingernails. Like it's about like what you absorb in your like your lipstick. You're practically eating it. Those things should be very mindful, especially if your daughters are playing with it.

How did you start the foremost foremost beauty is it? Did it start with other things in your life and then it brought you to the makeup or was it just obviously you know, we love makeup as girls. But I'm curious if it started with a different with like food or something before that.

With the clan, it started with food.

When my son was sick and diagnosed with a bunch of stuff, I dove in to heat his healing, and then once I got him under control, I decided to look at myself and was like, oh, I'm a disaster.

Like I found out I had MTHFR gene mutation.

Yeah, okay, so this is even more important why you need this kind of makeup? Because we eat is a perfect example, and I only have a minute left. The if you eat let's say fish tuna, most people who don't have this gene mutation, they hold If you don't have the mutation, you detox ninety percent of that mercury. If you have the mutations, ninety percent of that mercury.

So we are methilation pathways.

Our detoxing has to be taking very seriously.

Infrared z on us.

Make sure you sweat, make sure you work out, lymphatic system is clear, because we have to help aid our body.

Into cleansing those things. So I'm very mindful of what goes in me.

Now well, and also thank you for what you do with taka and stuff too. Actually went to an event a couple years ago back in Los Angeles, so just thank you for all the advocacy work that you do on that side as well. So sure, but you're our dream Jess, Joanny for coming on.

Appreciate you and I cannot wait to try formless beauty and of course watch I'm the mass singer.

I know. I'm so grateful you guys, and I can't wait. You'll have to let me know how much you'll love it.

Please get it perfect. We already love it. We love you.

I love you guys. Thank you so much.

By home bye, so sweet, stunning. She never ages, you know, I kind of if you would have told high school, middle school Jana I just think it's meet the people that we've been able to interview on the show, from McConaughey to Jada to Jenny to there's very iconic people that have come on that I have grown up with. Remember Tiffany Theston. I was like, what is happening?

Yes, you know? And then I mean even I don't know. It's just there's there's times where I go, Okay, this is cool. It's never lost on me. Yeah, Like I was like, who gets.

A chance to like chat with people like this? Well, and you kind of you you did something really beautiful, beautiful for me the other day when we when uh, I got asked to take Jolie to go to Dallas for the opening of the American Girl Store Doll Store, and I'm just like, oh, like I just I'm gonna have to figure this out and then move this and but then we have to go to Chicago.

The next day.

And and you kind of you went, how cool is that that you get the opportunity to just go to Dallas take your daughter?

And I was like, you are so right.

I'm too consumed by everything else that have to do to Okay, who's gonna take care of room? And then this, that and the other, and it's just and the opportunities are so cool that we get to do like crazy cool and it just for myself joy and gratefulness of that whole entire day. I'm like, I kept saying, how cool is this that we get to do this together? How grateful am I that we got the opportunity to go do this together? How blessed are we that we're able?

You know I've had to do it too, because I, you know, me like love to be home with the babies. Yes, And I think part of our last couple of years of marriage is because I'm so this is what I do, and like I'm very boundary and boundary with no soft edges. So now I'm trying to have boundaries with like softer edges. But traveling with Preston matters so much to him because it's lonely, Like two hundred nights a year, I'm home alone, but I'm home alone with our babies. Like the people

Yeah, I mean yes, and also it's important to have those times together as much as even though I had so much anxiety going to Mexico, No, it's funny, Julie. Julie texted me. She goes, why on earth did you book an earlier flight to come home to do a bedtime routine that you do five million, ka trillion times? And I'm like, because, Julie, you know me. She's like, I know you're anxiously attached and you had to get back to the baby. I was like, yeah, yeah, And.

Then when I got home, I'm like, why didn't I say, I know, but baby steps were doing it. We went, we both did a trip in two weeks, and I'm proud of us.

Right, But it was one of those moments where I go, Okay, Julie had a point there, because I remember the first day Alan and I got to Mexico again three days or three nights, and he was like, this is going to be over before we know it. Let's just sink it just let's just sink every moment in and let's take it all in. And then the last day, I'm like, it's just time goes by so fast. It really is a thief that but I was like, I wish I

You texted me when I was on that trip last and that I said, your timing, Like I was right. I was like, can I get out of here today?

Like?

Get me out of here?

Well, and that's why I got the earlier flight because we were on the last flight out, Like I don't want make the last flight out because I miss this flights the Oh my gosh. Then I start to get anxiety, and so in my mind, I'm like, why didn't I just allow myself to just chill and fun. I did.

I really did have a great time. It's just you know, baby, and good too, yeah is it?

Yeah?

Because I mean like almost four months. Okay. I don't know who made the timeline for you when the partum is over, but you're like, I had my first period, so that's over, and I'm like, oh, it's every eight days, okay, y don ky. The postpartum post part of anxiety. Of that piece of it though, is like primal, so it's like you wanting to get back to him is actually like the way God made you. It's it's a good thing,

Mm hmm.

Maybe I heard this yeah, we did some dolphin experience, I think true story, So okay, keep going.

Parents familiar so anyways, but then the orca, it's really it's so disturbing and so but this is the whole mother primal thing.

Just seriously follow So I'm on a romantic whale watching story in my brain.

Suddenly, you know, So the orca is they like the baby whales and so sad. So that but the moms they know this, so that to protect their baby whales they literally like put them on their stomachs and then like roll over to protect them from the orca.

I know. It was so sad that guy was like telling us this.

I'm like, I just want to go home to Roman him on my stomach roll I want to roll over.

Yeah.

Protection, But I know, but that sort of them had me thinking about that again. That motherly instinct to protect your child, that's all it is. So it's okay that you don't want to be away from him.

I know. Also we have to remember to be with the people we made them with. So that's where I'm at.

I know, And we we did. We had like the best time.

I actually really think like I need it more than I think I need it when I'm with him, because we're we're only each other's sole focus, and I miss being taken care of like that. Like it's different. Like I fell asleep on the plane. I woke up to him like playing with my hair, and I was like, oh, like I felt sweet. I know, well, he's he's good

Mama's it's okay to miss your babies, but go be with the ones he made him with.

That's right. I'm really proud of you. We've done it all right, friends, see you next week. I want to be like Jenny and Donnie. I'm playing in town.

Mhm