Opening the Envelope

wonderful producer, had his headphones on. Actually you didn't, so I figured i'd try to annoy Easton, but not try to annoy Eastn. You didn't have your headphone trying to annoy Easton when you switched water in your mouth. Yes, I thought it was an annoying sound because two seconds prior he said, hey, can we get a mike? You like Easton way more than that. No, That's why I was trying to annoy him, because I like Easton. If I do you really think this is true? Easton? I mean,

I's no one of the microphones. Jack and I got this. It's a fun sound. I guess it wasn't your lollipop and now your mouth is blue like I'm with a child. Well that's what happened. Great, right now. I was concerned about that, but then not concerned because we're not on video. This is all audio. So the only way people would ever find out that I have a blue mouth is if my co host decided to point that out on air. Well pointing it out and to go back, it's so silly,

it's very silly. I hope you're able to take me seriously throughout this podcast. But to go back to the fact, Easton, I only a annoy people I like if I If I don't like you, then I'm far too scared to get on your bad side because there's no rapport there to you know, heal the wound of of annoyance. I understand that you know you you you tease the ones you love. Um, I'm glad that I'm at that level with you totally. I feel comfortable enough. That's why I

tease you. Actually, well, what do you learned something? So remember when we were little and a boy would tease a girl and the parents or the teacher would say, he probably just likes you. Now because of like all sorts of changes, in society and things. You're not supposed to say that anymore. I'm not supposed to say because you don't want to teach little girls that a boy being mean is a sign of like love or affection. But it was definitely true. I mean, my middle school,

elementary school crush. He used to demoralize me, and he even admitted fifteen years later that it was because he had a crush on me. Yeah, they actually said. So. I look up astrology. I'm a scorpio, and a sign

of love for from a scorpio is sarcasm. And it's also I amy, I agree with you that I I actually like that they're trying to teach boys from getting away from teasing the people they like, because I've noticed that it's it's it's probably not the best approach specifically within relationships, but it was just the way I was raised. It's the way boys were raised. You know. I was always teasing my friends and teasing girls I like because

it was a defense mechanism. So hopefully the future generation of men will be a lot smarter than this dumbas sitting right here, and I'm pointing to myself. You know what I actually have always had a pet peevon, and it's funny that I'm with you. I don't think you're as sarcastic as you think you are, And I don't think sarcasm is like super funny. Um. I have a friend who, like her college humor, especially when flirting was just in a constant state of sarcasm that they could

never break it. They're like, all their conversations were just in this back and forth sarcasm, like you're never going to get deep. And then when they try to break it and have like a regular conversation, it's weird. Uh. Do you notice that maybe I'm more sarcastic back East than I am here. Possibly, But I don't love sarcasm, babe. Uh, that's besides the point. Um. Do you really ever find it hilarious a lot of times? Yes? Really? Yeah, I

just like sarcasm as a humor. It's just putting a tone of like negativity on everything, which is what makes it funny. Because I am a pessimist at heart. It's not a good quality to have. Unfortunately, this is just the way I am the way I was raised Anyway, It's not the way you were raised, Like your parents aren't like that. What's my dad is one of the most sarcastic man I've ever met. He's always it's always with Jared's dad. Whenever he's a quality, it's ever man

I've ever met. Everything you say about your dad is he's the most man ever ever? Is that something that annoys you? This is interesting, like you totally extreme every quality your dad has. Your dad is definitely not one of the most sarcastic man you've ever met. He's he's he's way cuter about it. Yeah, but what's the fun And in saying he's just sarcastic, I think it's more fun to say yeah, to be an extremist, to say he's, you know, one of the funniest. But people do that

in their everyday life. How many times have you heard somebody say one of the funniest people I've ever met? But you know it's funny when I talk in extremes, you get so annoyed. How so give me an example. Whenever I'll be like, you know, I'll exaggerate something. You know, how when I when you get mad and you get angry and sometimes get yeah, I know, but you know when I'm like, you know, I get worried when you get like that and then you'll be like, what do

you mean? You get worried? And then I'm like, I'm like, what are you so? Why did you flip out like that? Because a lot of times when you exaggerate or make things more dramatic, it's in a negative condensation where I'm doing condensation connotation connotation, thank you, um. But when I do it, I try to do it in a humorous way. It's super fun to hear you guys argue. UM. Let's get the expert on the phone to try and help us through this. All right, before we get Shari on

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help me find a job. So you found it to be a very difficult experience. It's horrible, right trying to find the right company interviewing all that. Jazz I didn't find a job, but all the bat that's why we both went on the Bachelor franchise. And right now our listeners can try zip recruiter for free today at zip recruited dot com, slash Jana. That's zip recruited dot com, slash j and a h the smartest way to hire guys. Go check it out today. So we have Shari Healey

on the line. Shari is a possible bilitarian. Yes, that's interesting. Is that a way of thinking? I think it's just a way of life really, But she brings over twenty years of relationship study. She's a marriage educator and divorce pretension prevention expert. So, Sherry, are you on the line, Shari Sharie. Jesus God, I'm so bad at names. No, it looks like Sherry. It does look like Sherry, but Amy, you just said Shari. Yeah. Anyway, Shari, have you been

listening to our bickering? So fun? Sorry? I want her to hear that so that she can, you know, help determine our issues. There we go. Yeah, I know, you guys are being real and it's the best. I mean. I think you people will learn from you being all out there holding back. Well, thank you, Tree. So sureI tell us a little bit about yourself. What makes you a possibilitarian and what does that exactly mean? Well, it's a title that I think is more true to me

than just life coach. You know, my training and credentials are one thing, but when you tell people you're a possibilitarian, it's pretty clear you stand for all things being possible, you know. And I think I'm here to how people get what they want. I think we're here to enjoy the ride and not struggle so much in life. So I think we're going to deal with a few of your struggles trying to get those out of the way.

So you can have more fun loving each other. Not well, we appreciate that, but sure you You definitely have a very um fulfilled background. You're boards certified coach, your founder of One Woman Effect and Bring It Group. Um. You are a business owner and entrepreneur, and you have degrees in marketing, communication and strategic intervention. And you've worked with corporate leaders for over twenty years to rise up and

make a difference in the world. So you definitely I just wanted to, you know, hype up so people take you seriously. Oh thank you? Yeah, I mean I at the end of the day, all of that experience just sleeps to a really deep desire to have people have the time of their lives while we're here. And I think each one of you and all of us are you know, unique, and we each have a gift to give.

And when things get in our way, it's usually because there's just a lack of skill or lack of awareness that can easily be learned so we can keep moving forward in life. And I think all of us, if we're walking around filled with joy and in love, then we're going to make the world a better place. So Jared and I ol behind each other's backs. Told you a couple issues that we want to work on on a relationship. Can we deep dive into that right now?

That's good, But let's do it. Hey, Shure names Eastern. I think we've talked on the phone a couple of times. Yes, yes, yes, you're a very beautiful person. Um. I have these envelopes in my hand that that Jared and Ashley have written. Who wants to go first? I'll go first? Yeah? What does that mean? I go first? The ones? So my concern in the relationship with Ashley? Yes, ok, right, and the award goes to La. We're on the same page here.

You guys really have some willer personalities. Yeah, we're both kicks. All right, here we go. This is from Jared to Ashley things to work on. Ashley can sometimes only want it her way or the highway. Yes, am I supposed to expand on that before sar oh got you. Well, let's do this. I'd love to hear an example. Let's dive into a moment that can make it really concrete for people. Uh. And I was also being dramatic with

that statement. I think with Ashley, I don't think you're being dramatic at all, Well, it's not so much your way of the highway. You just you have a very um dominant personality and you like to be in the control of a lot of different situations and be the decision maker. Where I am, My personality is far more go with the flow, UM, and you just make decisions for You're far more indecisive than me. You almost want

me to make the decision totally in most cases. In most cases, absolutely, but I think in those some it's it's hard because most cases are absolutely right. But there are other cases where I would like to be more of a decision maker and not be the behind the scenes guy. UM. And I think that's what I meant by it. For a specific example, honestly, what would be a good example of this, Um, This is really stupid.

But we were sitting down on the couch the other night and searching to find a movie to watch, and there was a movie that I had seen nine months years ago, and I actually said, how have I never seen this movie? And I said, I don't know. I've seen it so many times, my mom, I love that movie've seen it probably fifteen times. And You're like, do you want to watch it? And I was like, ah, you know it's good. I'm kinda and you could tell that I didn't want to because he even said could

not tell that point. I wanted to watch Batman for you. I don't wanted to watch your movie, but you seemed indecisive, like you literally didn't care. What I want from you is to say, I actually don't want to watch that. Can we watch this? That's my dream? Well, what I said with Batman was I didn't want to watch a movie that I had already seen. And then my further comment, you want me to watch Batman? Want to talk about God?

I want you to watch Batman. But the point I was making that night when you said, hey, I'll watch Batman, I said, well, I kind of want to watch something I haven't seen and i've seen not make that. Yeah, I said that. Well you should have said it again because I obviously didn't register. It obviously didn't register, and

maybe I should have said it again. So when I said nine months, oh, i've seen it, you know fifteen times, I just I want you to say, in the situations I don't want to watch it, you never be You're never clear, You're you always just assume that I wouldn't I would know. Um, well, the point I'm making is you just started playing person playing and we're like, all right, I guess we're watching it. Or you said something like along the lines of you know, you were like, is

it bad that I just started? Is it bad that I made the decision we're watching it? And I was like, no, I'll watch it. I don't care. But it's it's it's just that subconscious of like I'm constantly when we are searching for a movie, You're always asking I'm always asking you what do you want? What do you want to go on? While we search to the movies together? So you too, there's a good reason. That's a bad example.

You know, it's a good example. It's a good one because I have this belief that there's a good reason for everything that we do. And this can really cut through a lot of the arguments or the misunderstandings if you're searching for the good reason, and let me just see what's true for each of you in this the good reason for you being what appears indecisive, Jared, sounds like you're trying to make Ashley happy, right, Yeah, you

want to know what she wants? Yes, I think I I get a lot of happiness in my life when I'm with the people that I care about who are happy. Right, Like that you want this is exactly what I want or what I don't want, Because if she can say what she wants, then you're clear you're going to win with her. She'll she'll be happy. Yeah. Sure I should similar in situations like this, especially when it doesn't affect my happiness. Like if he were to straight upset, I

don't want to watch that. Okay, let's find something else. I wish these little things that he keeps inside he would just be more direct about so I would know because it's not a big deal. That's just not a big deal in me. Let's just find another movie. Yeah, but I think a lot of times I am direct and I just still get shot down. Like when I can't think of a good example off the top of my head, I wish I thought more about this specific subject. Well,

let's think about it's, you know, another example for you. Actually, if if you think about what the good reason is for you to ever want your way or the highway that control the dominance, what's a good reason behind that, you know, to be in control or say Okay, I'm gonna make a decision. Gives you something? Can you clarify the question? So there's a good reason for you getting dominant, you know, or saying like this is what we're gonna do,

because I think it soothes you. It did relieve the anxiety. You know. If this guy is wuffling and you don't know and then you guys are stuck and you're just trying to make him happy too, then you'll take over. Oh sometimes and he's being super indecisive and he just doesn't know or he's presenting like he doesn't know what he really wants that I'm like, all right, this is

my role. Let's just decide I'm going to take over. Yeah. Yeah, but I think he like, like somebody has got to drive the bus, you know, somebody does, or we'll never get anything done. Yeah. No, I agree. That's why I said. The majority of the times, I I don't mind that from my personality being easy going, indecisive, but there are times where I do vocalize what I want and my frustrations, and a lot of times they don't matter because we're kind of used to you driving the bus, and I'm

not saying that's a bad thing. But even like, um, I think that I think are one of our biggest issues between Ashley and myself is the way we vocalize our frustrations were actually is very like whatever is bothering her, she's saying it in the moment, She's gonna say whatever's on her mind. And I and a lot of times I hold it in and the things that actually does that bothers me, I won't say a thing, and then until he's obviously in a bad mood and I have

to pull it out of him. Well, it's it's but sometimes I get in a bad mood because you'll critique me for something very miniscule, something's as dumb as the bedmaking that we've talked about a million times, where like, for I make the bed probably six days out of the week and five or six probably. Anyway, the point of the story is you just sometimes like bust my balls about he doesn't he like when he criticizes me. I'm like, oh my gosh, no, really, I gotta change that.

When I criticize him, it's like I want you to change that his soul. Well, uh, sometimes sure, but I think that goes back to my insecurities and I think for the longest time I was single, and I've talked openly about this because I'm very nervous, very scared about people realizing, Wow, you're actually you don't have it all together, You're not the guy that I thought you were going

to be. Like initially with Ashley and myself, if you know anything about our background, actually was very into me from the start and had this very very high expectation of who I was. And I remember throughout our three years of friendship, I countless times told you, actually, I'm not that guy. I have a lot of issues. I have insecurities, and you're like, you're crazy, You're crazy, You're crazy.

And I think now being together with me, a lot of my flaws have been coming out more and more because sometimes I do get defensive, sometimes I do get um down and sad and quiet and keep to myself, and I think those things. While actually and I are very similar, those are some areas that we butt heads because Ashley wants to pull it out of me so much in every moment and every second. Um where I um.

He just defines scorpio like it's crazy. He loves to sit in his deep dark hole and just doing it, and he doesn't want to talk about it until you fours it out. And I hate, you know, using astrology as like a way of explaining things, But I'm Pisces, and we put our emotions like straight out there. But it's good because we're able. We are able to open

up a scorpio a bit totally. And so to go back to how we um articulate our frustrations differently, things that Ashley does that bothers me, I won't say, you know, I just kind of let it go, but I wish

he would. But and so I got the good reason though he just shared with us that he was super sensitive and scared about people finding out that he's human, and so he's really so that if to making anyone else feel that pain, the good reason behind that is you wouldn't want anyone else to feel criticized or fully seen like that. Well. I also also to jump off that that is partly true but also a big truth. It's my own um um. It's kind of selfish in

a way. The reason I don't critique others is because I don't want them to critique me, because it's I get um, I I do, I I get defensive about those things, and I think it's because I project my insecurities a lot of times. Uh specifically, it's it's interesting though, sorry to keep talking, but it's now it's like a

therapy session. It's interesting because I feel like my insecurities have grown exponentially ever since being on the show, because I was always kind of insecure, but man, I I was so much more confident before the show and I'm still very confident man now. But it comes and goes and ebbs and flows, because I think it's just you

know what's interesting. We're talking about social media last night and comments left and there's one comment that has always stuck out with me and don't ask me why, Well you can ask me why, but the comments said one time, they commented under my Instagram saying Jared is the most overrated Bachelor contestant in the history of the show. And I think it's stuck out with me all these years.

This was like two years when it got posted, and it's stuck out with me all this time because I believe it, because I've always believed it, because I've never like ever since our first season of Paradise. It's like, I'm not that guy. I don't know why Ashley is sell in love with me. I don't know why girls want to dave me. I have my you know I have. I have a lot of good qualities. But there's so many other people that I'm surrounded by that have better

qualities than myself, both physically and mentally emotionally. Uh. I think Jared is an extremist humble list. He's an extreme humblest I'm going to make that up right now. Like he likes to think of himself as lower quality than he really is, and he likes to like emphasize his flaws because in a way, it makes him seem like a simple, humble man, and in turn, it creates these weird insecurities that like he really he overblows a lot.

He it's kind of like a superhero complex. And I swear to you it has to do with him watching these movies and being so obsessed with them his entire life. It's like he, especially with The Bachelor, they presented him as like the superhero figure that all these girls wanted and that he really didn't have. He was like the perfect guy and in his in his head, he was like, but I'm not I'm flawed. Yeah, I'm not that guy.

And I think that's why it's it's my my insecurities have gotten the best of me for quite some time, and they got the best of me, specifically with our relationship for a very long time. Um. And so I think what I do well is I am able to ignore those insecurities, uh, for long stretches of time. I think I did that very well on my first season of the Bachelorette. I think I did that very well

when we first got together. Um. And both in those times, I was self aware enough to know that if I let my insecurities get the best to me, I'm not going to get what I want. Uh. And obviously my first season the Bachelorette, uh, it was too you know, not get kicked off early and then always regret looking back. Um. And then you know, obviously moving forward with you is you know, losing the best thing that's happened to me. Um. So anyway, Yeah, but again to go back to the selfishness,

so share you can speak upon that. It's it's a little bit of selfish for me not to critique actually, because the reason I don't do it is because I'm I don't want criticism and return. So in my head, it's like, all right, if I just let things go and don't you know, critique or or don't talk about things that bothering you know, things that she does that bothers me, then she won't do that in return. Right. Well, there's this thing called a formula for happiness that I

think is super helpful in this that you. The formula is when your blueprint equals your life conditions. So your blueprint meaning your expectations. Right, So you have an expectation that in order to be on the show, or in order to be loved, you've got to be a perfect superhero. You've got to reach this ultimately in human ideal. It's so weird because they don't have those expectations for other people. I just have them. Yeah, but you put them on yourself.

And it's crazy how we do that, but we do. And so if you fail that, if you don't think you're actually that or what Ashley thought you were, the blueprint does not equal to life conditions, so you can't be happy. You'll always suffer, right, And you said it's gotten worse because now you've got all these people also watching you, and so you're super exposed, and I think we'll only experience happiness when your life conditions, when reality

actually meets expectations, and those two things are equal. So the only way to fix it is either to become an actual batman, you know, fulfill the perfect. Don't tease me with a good idea, which is crazy because nobody wants that, actually wants a man man. She wants a human being, actually wants me to be. I definitely wouldn't mind like that. That's the romanticism and me as well, a sexy billionaire during the day and a cape crusader cape crusader look at the Boston Cape cape Crusade, watching

the pot and drinks Sam's Boston Log at night. You can totally play that role, Jared. You can nail it, but not all the time. And that's where you have to update the blueprint that none of us are going to be absolutely dialed and perfect every single day of our life. And when you can bring that more into alignment, you can say, yeah, and here's a really vulnerable moment.

I'm going to tell you how I really feel like you guys could shirt had a lot of these communication troubles by just saying we're going to make an agreement today from now on in April one. From here moving forward, we're going to say truthfully before we're upset, I really want this. I like to say it. In my ideal world, if I could have it all my way, I would watch this movie. And then you start to make a deal.

From there, you know, you get to say, then, Ashley, in my ideal world, if I could have it all my way, I would do this, And then you guys kind of play volleyball. You go back and forth until you both come up with something where you both feel like you got to win instead of somebody being resentful and being the loser. You know, I'm not about compromise, and I think you're not totally sharing what you want, Jared. And then it's going to build up. Yeah, I see

building up all the time. Yeah. My next question for you, Sherry is why is it so difficult to tell people what we want? Well, I think it's multilayered. I think for you, knowing what I know about you, it's you don't want to disappoint You want to continue to be the superhero. And if you tell somebody that might disappoint them or they might not agree with it can create disconnection and anxiety. You know, you hold back because you want to be pleasing, you want to fulfill that image,

and and then it actually catch us up with us. Yeah, I think I just hear people all the time who are so afraid to tell people what they want. Even last night, we were talking to a girl who was saying that she wants to get engaged with her boyfriend. And while she's talked to him about it, I think she hasn't really directly said like, this is what I want, this is the time frame I want to in, And I don't know why you. I mean, this is a whole thing, but but yeah, I just I my curiosity is,

why is it it? I know I get it for me. I sometimes it's hard for me to say what I want. But it's it seems like it's a very um big problem for a lot of people. There's fear that somebody might not want to give it. They would rather you know, suspend the knowing and think that maybe someday they'll get it. Like that woman's maybe worst fear is it She'll say I want to get engaged and he'll say I don't,

and then the relationship is over. So they hang out waiting and hoping instead of what I think is really what we're all craving now ultimately is to be seen and understood, to be fully seen and heard, and that means suspending that fear and saying, look, I'm about something that I really want and need and you may not agree, you may not be able to give it to me, but I'm gonna put that fear aside in order to be closer to you. I think when at least we

can really know each other's truth. I mean, actually, I'm a Pisces and my son as a Scorpio. I so get the not knowing and the anxiety that causes to be like, how are you feeling? You know, and not being able to crack in there. Yes, I think for me it's hard. You feel this as a woman. I think our giant need to be connected creates a sense

of safety for us. And so there's got to be some kind of an agreement you to make ground giving him his time to be in his safe place, because safety for him is not charing and being quiet and keeping it all in and he's got to have that at times. And I think, Jared, you knowing that it's something that really creates safety for Ashley to know how you're feeling, to be deeply connected, that that can be

a gift to her, That is a superhero gift. Like I'm gonna look at my fear straight in the face and I'm going to put on my tape and tell you the truth anyway so that you can feel safe and know that I love you. Yeah. I like the way you phrase it. Yeah yeah. So going back to the original, it's Ashley's way or the highway. I think you could influence this, Jared by by you know, telling her what you really want and need in any moment so that she doesn't have to get hard and take over.

You know, she doesn't have to be the big driver. Well, sometimes she wants to. Well now that now that we talked about being clear with what we want and like what we're concerned about. Sometimes I feel like when I am clear with what I want, you get defensive. Um, you're always clear with what you want? What do you mean? I know? But like two months ago, when I was like, you're not being romantic with me. Why aren't you being romantic with me? You were like, I've heard this a

zillion times. What do you want? For me, and then I got scared of bringing up Ashley. What I'm going to give you a short cut because criticism doesn't really land well Shire of us, right, and no, nobody really likes to feel like they're failing. And we do that as women a lot, or anybody who's kind of in that more feminine mood will say, um with frustration, you know, why aren't you or this isn't working, or you know there's some emotional charge to it, because like you said,

when somebody criticizes you you want to change. It will actually impact you. So we think if we come at them with that, they'll change, but it has the opposite effect. For a man, all he can hear is is I'm failing you. I've done something wrong, which is like the worst thing for them, and so it's a great way

to get somebody defensive. So there's the trick this is for both of you to use because I think like even in work situations, I work with so many leaders and teams and you know, nobody wants to feel like they're doing something wrong. It takes a great being who's like in a really cool vibe to be able to hear that and not react. So it's just two parts. This is how you give feedback. And like, let's say

about the bed. You know, the bed wasn't made. That was a good example you had, Ashley, and you get, you know, upset about it. So you can say, hey, babe, it's first I love, this is what I love, and this is what I want more of. That's the formula, so you go. I love it so much when you make the bed because you do it so well. And what I'd like more of is for you to do it every day because it rocks my world. That would never make him defensive? Right? How would that? Jared? I

don't think he likes it. No, that sounds great. Here's what I love, and here's what I want more of. Like I love it when the romantic with me. It makes me feel so good. You know what do you love about it when he's romantic with you? And I want more of it? I want it more. You know? It's some of the tone of your voice and the fact that you're leading you do so well. Would that work? Jared? Um, we'd have to test it out. I don't know. That's that's a if I'm being honest. When I initially hear it,

I don't think it would work. I I it's not a working versus. It's it's not Um, I don't know. I don't know. I have to mold that over well, actually tell him, let's try another thing. What does it give you when he's romantic with you? Security? It ultimately makes you feel safe and loved and adored and attracted to. Right, It's a lot. And are you really specific about how

he can be romantic with you? Like I would love it with if you do this or that, and so that it's really clear how you could do that, Jared, because sometimes I think if we're not clear. You want to give her security, you want to adore her, you want to love her, you want to do all those things that she keeps telling you you're not doing it. Do you have a really good, specific way that you understand how to be romantic that would work? Me? Uh huh. I think this is a better question for Ashley me.

You know how I like it? Like how I like yeah? Dead, but you know I just want to like you'd be very touchy, am I not you you're touchy, but you used to be so much touchier. That's what I think. That's what it was for me. Because you used to never get off me, and now you get off me. Well sometimes yeah, sometimes I do. Yeah, but you used to be all over me and I love that. Well, don't cry. Um. That's a good one. Though. Is there anything that's changed from Ashley that has has change that

for you? There was something that I mean, if we're going to talk about this, then we're gonna talk about it. We'll go. I mean, I also think that there is a certain expectation that Ashley has, um because she's never been in a long term relationship, and I don't think she knows that. Um, you know, you know, I mean we see each other when I was touching it all the time when we were first you know, specific holding hands in my arm around her and cuddling and and

you know, all that snuggly stuff. Um, I mean, we weren't living together at the time, we weren't seeing each other seven so there was this element of of surprise. You know. Now there's not that that same surprise. And that's not a bad thing. It's just different. But that's what love is. Love changes. I think that's one of my fears with being with Ashley is that it's going

to continue to change. You know when we get married and when we have kids, and not in a bad way, and we'll still make sure that we have our moments together, but they might be less and less and that makes me a little scared that she'll become more and more hut defensive with you know, the romance changing, um as I feel it does in a lot of relationships, and I think we do a good job of trying to

make sure that we have our us time. Um we also live with a third person, so we live with Ashley's sister, makes it yeah, So I you know, I think there's a lot of factors at bay Ah, So you know it's going to be really important. Is it will change. But I don't believe what a lot of people say out there about how the romance just it

just dies and that's the way it is. I don't buy it because I think we live a lot longer than we used to, and if we're going to be together with somebody for a long period of time, then we need to continue to date and we need to continue to stoke that romance and that magic, and there are ways to keep changing it up. That's a human need we have for like surprise and uncertainty and magic.

That's that's something you're always going to need from each other, and you can play with that as you grow older together. What works, what doesn't. It's frustrating to people because we'd love to say, ah, we love this person and they never changed and we lived happily ever after. But it won't be that way. But then you can play with space.

You know you're together a lot. Really healthy relationships have some space, some chance to miss each other, some chance to go away and plan some surprise or something new, and inject that into the relationship. You don't want to get too much same, same going on, otherwise things will get boring. That I read that in Cosmo a couple of months ago, that like, if you are too close and hinder romance, and I was like, I think that's

what was happening, especially when we moved in together. It was just when we moved in, because beforehand it was like constant romance, and then when we moved in together, it was just like we're together all the time, Like you can't feel like that. Yeah, he's got satiated a bit, and that'll happen with people who have kids. And then all of a sudden you're in this routine and you're just swimming in certainty, and it's all I think. Everybody wants some security and they want safety. But when you

get too much, we kind of die inside. You know, we're not as excited anymore. And you guys can get creative and figure out how can you keep things exciting And it's going to be different throughout the years. But that's where just talking to each other and not being afraid to fail to just say who are you today?

I always say this, Like, my favorite wedding vows I've ever heard was when this man said the woman I promised to never know you really, which at the first glance, you're like, oh, that doesn't sound right, but he's actually saying, you want every day, every minute you're a new person. Yeah, and I don't want to assume that I know who you are. Sure, I don't want to take up too much more. You're too much more of your time. Really quick, though, we have to just talk about stamps dot com because

we love them here. Oh my goodness, gracious, we have been sending out so many things lately because of wedding planning. Um so we have been using stamps dot com because nobody really has time or wants to go to the post office because you're busy. Who's that time? With all the traffic, especially in l A Park in l A looking your mail and packages, it can be a real hassle. So eliminate your trips to the post office and save money with discounts that you can get. You can't even

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burn up. I never had the electroc toothbrush so I didn't know what I was missing. That was the issue. Now I'm open to that world and I will never go back. All I can use and I'm so proud. I'm so proud of you. I forgot it. I forgot my electric toothbrush like two weeks ago. I don't know when we were traveling, but I had to buy, you know, one of the plastic ones and just do it myself. And I felt like I wasn't cleaning my teeth properly because I'm so used to the electric toothbrush, just really

getting in there. It's it's a whole new world. I'm so glad. That's how much he loves quip Um You guys. Quip was designed to make brushing your teeth more simple, affordable, and even enjoyable. Like Jared mentions, it built in two minute timer pulses every thirty seconds to remind you when it's time to switch sides. It's got a helping guide for a full and even clean up to of us don't brush for a full two minutes and don't clean

evenly like you just just said that. I was one of those people because I used to always time it, but I would always brush my teeth for probably less than a minute. And now the electric tooth brush has an aumot a timer, which is huge. Can we talk about how I used to make fun of me because your brush head was so destroyed. I was like, well, was the last time you changed your brushead and be like, oh, well, maybe like a year and a half. I was like that,

that's not even cleaning your teeth at this point. Well, these brusheads with five years, These brusheads with QUIP are automatically delivered on a dentist recommended schedule of every three months and at just five dollars to get that done. Three out of four of us are using bristles that are two worn old and are now ineffective. Yeah, I was one of those three or four, But now I can proudly say that I am one of those, one

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hard to travel with. Because Ashley and I are always on the go and there's no charger needed, so our countertops are clutter free, which is very big because we don't really have that much kitchen in the excuse me bathroom sink area, so no charger are in there. And that's why we love Quip and they're backed by over twenty thousand dental professionals. Now Equip starts at just twenty five dollars and if you go to get quip dot com slash Jano right now, you'll get your first refill

pack for free with a Quip electric toothbrush. That's right, folks, just you get you get your first refill pack for free. All you have to do is go to get quip dot com. That's g E T qu I P dot com slash Janna for free refiel pack. Hooligans are crashing our podcast post. Well, it's a pretty cool podcast that

Ashley and I have always hosted. Thank you guys. Yeah, we heard that you guys were you know, in studio, so we just god, we love that you guys talked about relationships and you know, you guys just have such an inspiring story, the two of you. So we're trying to open up like you guys can kind of learn more about our relationships. Yeah, we've been doing this podcast for about a year now, right, Ashley, yea, Yeah, it's been it's been good. It was my idea. It was

did you know with wine? How did you come up with wine down? I like wine? You do? Yeah? I drink wine sometimes, w H I and E because I wine and then wine doesn't go up, it goes down, it goes down the throat. So interesting, That's how I came up. So what did you guys? Actually, why are you crying? Oh we're just talking. I can't talking. Oh no, do we come in about time? Weird? No people crying.

We're an emotional breakthrough. That's where we're at. We're just talking about the evolution of a relationship, yeah, and how it changes over time. But that's not in a bad way, but just that love evolves, you know, for example, it's it's very different what a relationship changes from when you guys are not living together to when you are living together. You know, I miss him touching me all the time. It's very sweet, it's very adorable. And now that you

guys live together, you feel like it's not as much. Well, it's good to miss you, you you know you want to that's what it missed each other, you know, And it's harder when you're together all the time, you know. With we've learned our love languages, you know, from listening to y'all's podcast, we've learned about love language. Isn't about we need so like I remember, like when you've talked about love languages, and like what I realized, Like with Mike, I'm like, you know, for me, I'm like I I

like the touch and stuff. So actually, maybe you know that's just something that you you need and he has to do a better job of showing and giving to you because when you do live together and eventually when you guys get married and you have kids, like that's it's you have to remind yourself to do it because it's hard, you know what I mean, Like you for

you forget about your spouse almost in a sense, I don't. Yeah, you feel like you're passing each other so much throughout the day, where even Jan and I we tried to based on what you guys have talked about on Wine Down, you know, we've tried to connect and every time we pass each other, even if it's a little like, you know, pat on the butt or rub on the back or just something just so let each other know that we're there. So, Hey, we're in the midst of it. We're raising kids, were

doing stuff, we're working. But hey, as I walk by you, I'm gonna give you a little tablet. You know I'm here. Yeah, you always do that a little frustrating thing about this conversation because it does make me feel like, I know you do that. I do it a lot. Does do that a lot. He taps my butt all the time. I literally I'm just talking. But it was like when we first started dating, obviously I couldn't, you know, keep

my hands off her. And that has changed, obviously because the last time I when was the last time I didn't see you for a full day. I can't even remember. It was the Bachelor finale. It was like three weeks ago. But was it like only like it was it was thirty six hours? Yeah, not even I don't think anyway.

But um so, I there is that element of we do just become so comfortable to each other and we're such close friends that I feel like I'm very touchy, but not to the extent that I was you're absolutely rights. Time goes on, is that? Yeah? You jes You commit to continuing to give to each other, Like Jenna said, it's like what can I do to give to you every day? And there's a great thing. If you were doing what you were doing in the beginning, the relationship

would never end. And you were doing in the beginning, Jared, And so it's just about what do you need in order to keep giving that because it lands so well with her. Is a real expectation, though, to expect the relationship to just be as hot and heavy as it was and when you first started dating. It won't be this, Yes, it can be. What I know about people who are in their fifties and sixties is it's way hotter actually because you're way more self aware and way more confident,

and and you give less. You know what's about a lot of things in life, and it gets better. So I wouldn't buy the social hypnosis that it's just going to wind down. Not wind down good play, Uh huh. It will change, It will have different flavors, but that doesn't mean less than and I think all it does is call us to be more creative with each other about how can I do that for you now? How

can I rock your world now? Maybe it's not the same way if it used to be, But I'm still going to commit to making you feel loved, adore it, safe, all the things that Ashley said that cuddling and touching gives her, and it will be such a deeper connection to I mean how you guys maybe played with her and made her feel like love and stuff. Now it's like there's such a deeper love, like she's saying, you know, so that way, it's like maybe you just have to

receive it differently. Yeah, and Jared, it's totally okay to say I need some space, I need some time to go off and like do my thing and go get my energy back on and then come home and take you. You know, like it's okay to ask for what you need in order to turn that back on. Yeah. The thing is, though I feel I don't ever feel like I need space. I think that's the We never need space each other's and so it does come it gets complacent sometimes, but it only gets complacent because it's never bad.

It's always good between us, but it's maybe not as great as it once was, not not the love, the love has. Honestly, I'm more in love with you now than I ever have been. But if you're speaking solely on touch, physical touch aspect of it, it's certainly very high.

I mean, I touch you all the time, but it's not like you were smothering me and like we always have a joke, you smollering me and then like you just sound like that at all, and for ye for that like honeymoon phase, and after six months it wasn't an ending for the honeymoon phase. I feel like it was. It was certainly not an ending to the honeymoon phase. Even though you guys don't feel like you need space from each other. Is that something where you think in

Shari you could speak on this too. Do you think that'd be beneficial where you if you you guys made each other take that time, like, hey, you know what, I'm gonna go take this day for myself. I'm gonna go take half the half the day. That way, when you do come back to each other, maybe it feels like that a little bit more. Maybe your actions don't even change physically, but it feels like that because you haven't seen each Oh, no, you're right, I know it

would be beneficial. It's just the act of actually doing even like going to the grocery store. It's like, no, I want to go to the grocery store with Actually I love being around. Actually it's really weird. It's quite pathetic, actually, but but you're right, it's it's it's you know, if we want that, you know, um, because there is a certain fire that's lit under you ask when you don't see your significant another for like, you know, a few days a week, Like it's only one way. I think

you guys can do other things. Will be in the house together and say, all right, how are you gonna light the fire today? Like what would excite you right now? Like let's do something different. I mean, I think it's really just about injecting newness and not getting too much

into the routine. That's fair, right, well, I mean just even having different conversations, playing a crazy game, or like bringing some new thoughts to each other, or I always he always wants to play games like board I played card games or something different. I don't want to hold the game. I like mind games. We can like questions. I don't want to play monopoly with you if you

want me to. But that's not a way, it's spicing as something up I play with at least acknowledge that I can never be the banker because I slide me a hundred every like an extra round. You ain't. You ain't trying to games. And by the way, if you guys have not noticed the actual that Ashley and Jared are not the hosts of wind Dune are but actually, jar you guys, it's such a good job and you totally captured the spirit of wine down with tears in

a relationship and connecting because you're going to leave. Yes it's like sad, but you're gonna leave connected, you know you really we appreciate you letting us crash this podcast for a day. How often real fools. But no to to Jane this testament what she's saying about you guys, the fact that not everyone is willing to come in here and yeah, shed those layers and dig into that stuff. So kudos to you guys are being willing to open up and talk about that on here. So we're pumped.

When our producer told us that you guys were the one stepping in, We're could be more excited. We thank you, guys. This is the one that we wanted to take over because we knew, because you can learn something new about their relationship and what things you might have to work on. And you guys, you guys did a great job and you're not alone. There's so many girls that feel the same way. Ash so in same with you, Jared. Well, I'm glad that we did this because it is nice

for people to know that it's not perfect. It's not perfect. You know. I feel like a lot of people just look at our social media and think, wow, there everything so good. Everything is so perfect, and it is so wonderful and I'm so happy. But of course it's not a perfect relationship. We have to be fully human to be in this and get messy and love each other well, and that's exactly what you're doing. How often do you guys carry the podcast? Oh? I cry at least like

every other Monday of the podcast for sure. So ok, yeah, so that's I mean again, you totally like embrace the whole content of wind Down and been able to. But you guys are now like connected on a different level right now, right, yeah, of course, So it's good. Thanks guys, thank you. Oh yes, and if you want to see uh, Mike and I live. Unfortunately Jared and Nashley can't come, but if they're in the Boston, New York or Virginia area, we are taking wine down on the road. We're so

excited May eighteen, Boston, Virginia, New York. We're taking wind out on the road. We're gonna want to connect with you guys, just like Jared Nasha did to talk about the relationship with you. Guys. Want to work on and I'm gonna sing some some new songs like my new single Beautiful Eyes. So you guys had to Janna Kramer dot com to get the tickets and we're excited to see you out on the road. Yeah, go get those tickets. You guys going or Virginia. I know, Yeah, you guys

gonna check out? Are you guys should go to Fenway Park? I thought that would be awesome. Shake Shack is a modern day roadside burger stand known for its percent all natural angles, beef burgers, chicken sandwiches, and flat top vana beef dogs, no hormones or antibotics ever, spun fresh frozen custard, crinkle cut fries, craft beer, wine, and more. With its fresh, simple, high quality food, a great value Shakeshack is fun in lively community gathering place with a little something for everyone.

Shake Shack just launched their new menu item, chicken Bites. Head to one of their eight locations for l A to give them a try. Locations include West Hollywood, Hollywood, Glendale, Burbank, Century City, Westlake Village, Elsa, Gundo in downtown Los Angeles. Alright, you guys, can you guys wrap up our show? Please? Yes we will. Oh my goodness, April Fool's Day brings out the craziest things and people. But that was Janna Kramer, who actually hosts this show. But where we before we

wrap this up? We do have another envelope here of what Ashley says. So the first envelope was La La Land. This one wrong and now this is the correct best pitch, sure winner. So this is what says She and Share need to work on their relationship. This has not been revealed to Share before. It's all about his hatred for l A and the anxiety it brings in. He's a far more anxious person than I ever knew before we were together. It affects his me a lot. See, this

is my point. I'm not the guy you thought I want to know. Okay, So I actually think that everything we talked about on his side, like all the romance stuff actually happens, it actually is very connected to his own mental state right now. I think he's not touching me and not being as lovely anymore because I think that he has anxiety that needs to actually be dealt with, because I think it rolls over into a depression category as well. That sounds true, Jad, I don't know if

it's I. I wouldn't use the word depression. I think everybody gets scared when they say the word depression. I think that like everybody's like, oh my god, I'm not that bad. No, it's not a that bad thing. It's just my mental state. I think I'm listen. I was born and raised twenty nine years in Rhode Island. I've I never lived twenty minutes for my friends, and also so the adjustment to l A has been a little

bit of a struggle for me. Um. I also think it doesn't help that I had such a core group of people that I was very close with back home, and I think a lot of times it was I would lean on them, not to say I can't lean on you, actually I think it's just different, right, It's just an adjustment period of kind of everything happened so quickly. I moved to l A, we started dating, we got engaged, moved in together, um, planning a marriage, all the things I want. I want to marry you. I cannot wait

for our wedding. But I'm also very excited at weddings back home because I just want I want you, which is why I'm here. But I also want you incorporated with the people that I love. And so I think. I also think, if I'm being honest, I'm just more confident back in Rhode Island. Maybe it's a big fish

in a small pond syndrome. Um, but I find myself, Ah, I find myself uh cooler, not even just but like wittier and like more touchy with you, and just there's it's a certain level of comfortable nous that is is not okay. And it's honestly a character flaw. Because I wish I could go out, I think, I yeah, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. He's more lovely, Yeah, because he's more his high hisself, he's bolstered by community and tons of connection and He's got a lot of

certainty because he can walk around that place. He knows everything about it. This is not a character flaw, Jared. You're just in a new environment and you don't have that kind of community. And that's what would explain why you two like to be together, and that because you make each other feel safe and connected to something. Yeah, I would agree with that. Jared says he doesn't feel safe, like when he even leaves at the house and La, No, it's not it's not like not like a safe heat emotionally,

not like safety like physically. No, I mean a little bit of both, if I'm being honest. Um, but yeah, I'm sorry you gunna say something that, um, I don't know that's unpredictable and unknown. It's almost too much unknown. And we're talking about injecting your relationship with a lot of newness. It's like that town though, is almost too much of that for you. Yeah, And like I said, I think every you know, when I first saw I

moved out here in November. I moved in with my buddy Nick, who's who was very adamant about me just coming out and give an l a try. And then so I moved out here for like a month and a half before I went home for the holidays, and I was going to go back, but I didn't know how well. I had to go back into l A to find out what the hell was going on with Ashley at the time, and and so I I never forcesaw myself being out in l A too long, excuse me.

And then obviously we started we started dating, and then I kind of put like I said earlier, I think I do good job putting my insecurities to this side to project the best version of myself to obtain what I want. Um. And then I think I did that for a very long time, and we moved in and I think some of those insecurities started coming back and be like, no, I'm I'm here, I'm in l A. I'm not going back home, um for a while for your plan. But also I mean, if I'm being honest,

we always talked about this four year plan. But I'm very nervous about you moving back east because I'm very nervous about the opposite happening with you, which is what's happening with me right now. This adjustment period, unsure of of of things, and and and and work and all that jazz. Um, you know, the most important thing I'm sure of, which is you, which I'm very grateful for. Um, But I'm nervous. You know, say we do move to you know, Boston in five years, you know, knock on

wood luckily, hope everything goes well. Um, how do I know that You're just not going to have the same go through the same thing I'm going through right now, which is a really difficult adjustment period because you've you you like light and that's you know, Yeah, I think it stresses us out that like we're going to have to he is compromising where he's living now and then I'm going to have to compromise in a couple of years.

And I think it stresses us out because are we both gonna be able to be in a place that makes us happy? Right at the same time it creates So if we look at it like this that rather than compromise, I think we use everything in life to make us a better human. That everything can teach us something. And if you look at like you being pulled out of your comfort zone, and you know that saying that life begins beyond your comfort zone. We wrote a hold

that about it, right Yeah, you're doing that. You are in that right now, and you are learning that ultimately, your your best self, your most you know, the guy that you become when you're around your community is in there. He's in there right now. How what do you need to bring him out? No matter where you are, because you're going to travel in life, You're gonna go through different cases in life, are going to keep throwing you

off that center. And this is why people meditate and do yoga, you know, practice, How can I bring that guy out consistently no matter where I am, no matter what's going on in my environment. That's obviously what we're here too, you know, grow into it's it's the highest work. And and then what's kind of beautiful is you're going to do your part to learn where that is inside you.

And then actually you're gonna have experiment too, and you're gonna learn how to dig deep and find that person and you no matter where you are, you'll learn a ton about yourselves and about each other in that process. And then maybe you both come together after it's done done and you decide where can we now be? That would bring out the best in both of us. I don't know if that's a new third location. But I feel like it's not compromise. You both are really diving

into something that's going to make you better. Well, I also am realizing that I have to create my own happiness. Ashley is not going to be my only supply of it. So I'm I'm realizing that, especially within the past week or so. I'd probably say, um, you know, making this is another dumb comment, like I'm shooting like golf clubs out here because I love playing sports. I miss playing I played golf in a very long time. I used

to play all the time back in Rhode Island. Um. And so just something like that, like actively being like, okay, um, you know, find somebody who wants to go golfing with you, Like you have my any Tanners out here now, which helps a lot. And I do have friends. Dean is a is a good friend of mine. And so it's more so, like we've stated before, like doing a better job of me uh, letting people know what I want, you know, instead of you know, waiting for someone to

see if I want to go golfing with them. You know, I'll get my clothes out here and be like, hey, you want to go golfling next week and and or you know or or whatever. You know, I'm playing sports or um you know, I don't know, I don't know. It's sometimes I do hate leaving the house in l A though. I gotta be honest, it's just terrible. Make you face all that uncertainty and I'll go a stranger. Yeah, I just I just I hate it. You know that.

There's a lot of times where I don't like it because it and actually noticed when I'm back home, I don't mind leaving the house at all. I like, I don't like being at the house at home. It's so it's just complete opposite spectrums. But what you've got to learn is you've got to learn more about l A

and make l A more comfortable for you. You You know, when we get into a relationship, I think we're signing up to give to someone at a at a big level, Like you've signed up to give to actually for the rest of her life, give to her happiness, give to her well being, all of that. And I think there's there's a strategy. The more you want to give, the more you need. So if I'm going to give to you and be my best self for you, actually I need to go golfing, I need to go make friends.

I need to make myself comfortable on account so I can keep loving on you. Well, don't throw your needs under the bus, all right, Well, sure, I really appreciate you joining us today. You have taught us a lot about you talked like almost the entire time. Babe, you just talked about talked. Don't don't feel bad, but I have more to unload with you. I don't want to say, you know, like you have far more come. You're just You're just more complex, and it's I think it's just

a lot. Uh. I think just a lot has been predicated on me with our relationship over the past year. You know, not in a bad way. That does sound like a bad No, I don't mean that, but just in terms of, like, you know, because it was you for a while, because you were, you know, so open with your feelings, and I was obviously very confused in the past years, Like, Okay, I need to step up and show her how I feel because I've been screwing up for so long and then obviously me moving in

with you up. But You've been kept a lot in and I've always let everything out. Yeah, and then you know, obviously me making sure that I have to stay out here, and then you know, I'm moving in with you, and and then finding my footing in Los Angeles has been a little bit difficult that sometimes, Yeah, I just feel like sometimes he's like just gives up on like finding happiness in l A. Well, it's I'm scared of failure, you know. I mean, that's why I didn't move on

to land for so long. It's I'm I'm sometimes I can be a wreck. I'm if I don't go after the things I want, then I can never fail, you know. And so and I don't know why. I see, like we have totally met different mentalities. We can honestly talk forever. But I've never been afraid to fail. I don't know any why anybody would feel silly about it. I'm not saying it's a good quality. I hope nobody else has

that quality of people have that quality. I think anybody who identifies in a in a in a masculine sensor, who is out there to achieve, is going to have that be their highest fear. I have heard that for all my years doing this work, that the fear of failure is real and the good. The really good reason underneath that that I think is so wonderful about you is you just want to do such a good job at everything. You just want to be such a good human. I mean that's a really great quality. He wants to

be a superman. Yeah, so like what do you need to be? That is the big question for you, kay and day out, minute by minute. It's yeah, it is a positive under a line, but at the same time, it hinders everybody who also has that fear of being the best version of themselves. It really does. So it's it's counteractive and it makes you less of a better human being, if that makes sense, because you could be doing more, Like I know, I could be doing more. My capabilities are far more than I I you know,

put out there. So it's just kind of like that. It doesn't counteract is for you to honestly give yourself so much of what you need, you know, constantly asking yourself, what do I need in order to do this right now? What do I need in order to go outside? What I need in order to connect with Ashley? Well, we got to wrap that up. I don't know if that's it though. If I would love to have you more on the podcast two, because I don't know if that's it.

We are like getting the wrap up signals right now, Like I could honestly just spend another two hours probably with you on the thumb. Me too. We'll do it again. Well, thank you, all right, we'll share your Thank you so much for joining us. Where can everybody find you at

three healy dot com. It's yeah, I'll say real quick at h E R I E and you'll find it all right, shree Healey dot com sre once again, thank you so much, thank you so much, thank you by well, that was very Actually I feel so bad because I felt like you didn't really get to talk all that often because it was just diagnosing a lot of my issues. Shared. This is this is, this is what you needed. What are you talking about? It's funny because you know, I feel like we already are My issues don't need a

lot of analyzation. Yeah, because you are. You are very open with them. And it's a great quality to have. And which is why people UH relate to you and also look up to you so much, is because they just you know, even for me, I want to have that quality. I wish I had that quality that you have, which is this is how I'm feeling. I'm gonna let

you know how I'm feeling. Also, this is what I want, So I'm gonna put it out there so we can work towards it instead of me just holding onto it inside and you having to try to like figure out what exactly it is that's on my mind. Yeah, but look how good you are when you do start rolling with it. Yeah. But it's it's you're very relatable and very it's it's frustrating from my own point of view because I don't practice what I preach like I'm going to talk about it. We talked about it for an

hour right now, I feel great about it. Is it gonna stick? Who the hell knows? Yeah, but I love you. I love you. Let's do a few thank you before we go. We have to obviously do a big thank you to Shari Heally. You can find her at shar heally dot com. I'm pronouncing that correctly, Shari Heally. Yes, she was quite lovely. She put up with a lot of our crap and listen to everything we had to say. Stop putting yourself down. Uh. Also a big thank you to open Fit. You can get full access to open fit,

all the workouts and the nutrition information totally free. All you do is text Jana j A n A two thirty thirty thirty. That's three zero three zero three zero three zero. Zip Recruiter tries zip recruiter for free today at zip recruiter dot com slash Janna. You can go to stamps dot com and big thank you to stamps dot com. Just go to stamps dot com and enter Janna and quip get twenty five dollars off. And if you go to clip dot com slash Janna right now,

you're gonna get your first refill pack for free. Also, we know that Janna Mike would love to see you at the Lab show in Burbank tomorrow night. If you are in l A, you'll be able to listen to another Wine Down episode this Wednesday. Also, a big thank you. This is Actuley. This has you written all over it. Oh, it also has you written all over it. Says thank you to Shake Shack. Your burgers are going to be delicious tomorrow. And a big thank you to Duncan Donuts.

God I love that for coffee and desert for our wine Down Live. God, you guys should just go for the sponsors what shake check and and duncan the hell are we doing wrong? And help I suck at data and this is unbelievable, And of course thank you to Thrive Market. Thrive Market truly is the best organic, healthy food at a better price. If you have been hearing us talk about Thrive Market, you should go check it out by now. Jared and I also love Thrive Market.

We order from them all the time. It's an online supermarket. Can get cleaning supplies, you can get soap food. Whatever you want to do is go thrive Market dot com slash Jana oh and a huge thing to thank you too. Ikes love and sandwiches with five hundred deliciously addicting sandwich combos. Ike Sandwiches will change your outlook on life. Ix Notoria's Secret Sauce and a Dutch crunch bread have grown a wild cult over l A County, o C, North California,

San Diego, Nevada, and Phoenix. And the sandwiches are just that good. So follow at Ike's Sandwiches and go download their app and you can order online there. You can download app right now. Big thank you Easton Ashley and help I second dating usually we say, uh, hope you know, into next week we're hopefully we suck a little less, so thank you for tuning into wine Down, and then hopefully next week we'll drink more wine.