New Year, New You

onto wind Down in the new Year. I'm curious where where your where your thoughts are at with New Year, New You? Is it something where do you hate the saying or are you here for it? I'm actually here for it. And I think that we've been through so much over the past couple of years, and it's really important for us to set our intentions of what we want to feel like and what we want to do, and so I'm all about the New Year, New You.

I think it's an amazing way to kind of thinking and really allow our brains to start to anticipate some joy and fun rather than just so much dread and uncertainty that we've had over the past couple of years. How do you for people that feel uncertain right um or they don't know what this month hold or the next month or the next month because there's that uncertainty, how do you how can someone stay positive with that?

Like what's something they can do? I mean, I know, you know, choosing gratitude and writting things down, but like, is there something else where you can go? Okay, like this would be helpful in just being present in today, in this moment. I think that that's such an important question because it's something that we're all struggling with all the time, is how do we stay more present and

more positive? And I also want you to know that during the holidays, it's an undeniably stressful time and research really shows about half of women and the third of men actually struggle with stress during the holidays. So this isn't something that's so uncommon. But I think it's really important for us to start to think about, how are we sort of setting an action plan to really get us through these time periods that can create more joy and happiness versus and feeling sort of stressed out and

overwhelmed all the time. And it's also really important for us to understand our biology because we're like batteries, so we have renewing feelings and emotion and we have depleting ones. And we also have the choice and agency of of what way we want to go. So if we are feeling overwhelmed or stressed or not present, we can choose to do certain actions that can get us into those states.

So you did mention things like gratitude or appreciation, but there are concrete things that we can really set up for success. And the basics really is really starting about our own seft care, because especially during the holidays, we don't think about ourselves. We're thinking so much about other people. So if we start with the basics of what does our sleep look like? How what are we eating, how are we taking care of ourselves? How are we taking time for ourselves in this busy and time when it

can feel so pussful, is really important. Yeah, And coming into the new year, I always feel like so my birthdays January three, so it's fun because I get a new me year and I get a new year right

like within forty eight hours of each other. Um, But coming into the new year, I feel like before I had set all these crazy expectations for myself, Like it was like, okay, I have to work out this many times a week and while you know, and then and then as a recovering perfectionist as I will call myself real type A over here, um, I felt like then the letdown was so hard and I would just be so hard on myself and I'm like, well, you know

if I hadn't done it. So then I started to adopt this policy of like I would kind of I would do a shedding period in December and I would do what I needed to do to just kind of care for myself best over holidays families a little tricky for me. And then in January I gave myself to January thirty one instead of it was almost like I got to try on the new routine instead of it being like by January four, I'm out because I, you know,

had a martini. Doesn't set of pressure to do everything by like well January one, like just change your life. Jims are always so full, you know, like everyone's like this is it, and then we feel like we burn ourselves out because it's not like a slow integrated So what I guess I'm asking you, is am I copying out by giving myself a month? Or is it smarter to slowly pace myself in for thirty one days. I love the slow pace, and I also really think what

you're talking about is so important. We look at the statistics gym memberships, dating apps. They all bank on the fact that we're going to sort of set our goals for January one, and by February one we're gonna be burnt out. So I think it's really important to start to really think about what's important to you and what

are your intentions. Because we know that when we sort of put those vision boards up and we put all those sort of pretty pictures of all the things that we want, the problem is really that we get the stopamine from the high of actually seeing it, and our body starts to calm down and anticipate that already happened.

So if you want to get in better shape, or you want to have that great relationship or that house, you're starting to give your reward circuitry sort of that this already happened and you don't actually have to work towards it. But the problem is when we put those vision boards or up those gold lists, we're not really setting up any sort of action plans of how we're actually getting there, And it's those small steps are really

what makes changes in our lives. And so it's amazing dream of what you want for the year, what are your intentions, but you are all so successful and you all have such amazing sort of careers, but really thinking about and the other aspects of your life, what are the things that you want to do, and what are the steps you're willing to take, and what are you really willing to also sacrifice in order to get there.

So that's also really important is that we're not only giving ourselves all this sort of dopamine for the reward circuitry, but we're also thinking about what could go wrong, what are we going to give up if we really want those things? And then move towards action plans reporting because the more predictability and the more action commands, and the more steps we have that we can keep ourselves accountable, that's when it's going to help you reach your goals.

I love an action plan more than I love anything. Yeah, I read a book too. It was a couple of years ago. Now maybe I shoot, I think ten years ago. It's called the Happiness Project, and every month you set a goal or a resolution. So it's like and it's so it's not just like I'm gonna it's not just

one thing. It's like, every month, what is your goal or what is your intention or And I just that's that's has stayed with me, and I don't follow it perfectly, but um, I every year I'm like, I'm gonna do that, you know, and it's like you kind of you fall off of it. But that's something that I've I've always loved that and because it feels a little bit more attainable.

And also last year, because every um, every New Year's Eve, I write down a list of my goals for relationships, um, for work or personal and one of the things on my last year's list was to run a marathon. First it was half and then someone's like, you can do better than that. You can do a marathon. I'm like, yeah, yeah, I know, I totally can. But I realized, I'm like, I didn't do I didn't do a full marathon last year,

and I was it's nothing. I was embarrassed, but I also realized, you know what, that goal, I'm not ready for that one yet and I'm like, okay, I'll put that back on when I'm ready. And I think it's okay too to have something where if you see it on your list and go, I'm just not ready yet and like that being okay and not like you getting upset at yourself. I just think it's so overwhelming. I have the hardest time with New Year's resolutions. But that's

why I think that happened. This project sounds like a good attainable goal because it's like to go, just list all this stuff, like in reality, I'm not going to do it all. So if you do like one thing a month, I love that idea, as I just oh, it's so overwhelming to me. So for the month of January, is there one resolution or goal that you can and again, it doesn't have to be like I'm going to run

a half mare. It's like I'm in a practice gratitude as as often as I ken daily or you know, it's like there's something that you can think of that you could start your resolution with. Yes, I have mine. So mine is we're so busy in the afternoons and we're running around, the older kids running around. Is to have I don't know. I think we feasibly can do only two nights a week, if at all, I mean, if not just one or two nights a week, we actually sit down for dinner, we get off of our electronics.

As a family, we are not running to a sport. We are not running to this or that, which is very hard for us to do. But that's mine, January, Are you ready for mine? I need intentional time with myself. Great. I know, it's like New Year, knew me. I want to date myself. I feel like I have two kids and a very busy husband, and so whenever I can find time to carve, it's either one on one time with them or one on one time with my husband, and I don't feel like I want on one time

with myself. Well, I do it thirty minute workout and then I'm out, you know, or like, oh I'm gonna go. I'll swing by Starbucks and get a nice tea. It's like that's great, like little deposits and compound interest, but it's not like really settling into like maybe I just check out for like three hours in an afternoon and I date myself and go to like really good lunch and read a book. I want to I fantasize about that girl. I just miss her. So And how do you think, I mean, is that a good setup to

have that outlook? I think, I mean, I think what you're talking about is so important. Number one is that you're not overwhelming your nervous system with a million things that you're not going to get to new and Jenny even talking about the marath on, I love the re

shift for yourself. It doesn't mean that you can't you're not going to put it back on the list for this year, and maybe it goes on the top of the list if it feels something really important or maybe you're starting to reevaluate is that something that I really want to do or something that I felt like I had to do? Because doing a marathon is a lot of work, it's a lot of training, it's a lot of preparation, and are you willing to give up other things in your life in order to make that commitment?

And so oftentimes we put these things on the list and we set ourselves up for failure, or it was someone else's goal in mind, that was the piece that I was like, I put half marathon and I did that, but I put marathon to please or to or because it was someone else's idea rather than my. Now, I again, I would love to do it. I'm just not ready, like you said to to do that. But I think I compromise my own what I wanted to please or to look a certain way or whatever. And you didn't

also celebrate your success enough with your half marathon. That's an amazing accomplishment and standing at that and saying that actually really felt amazing to me. I'm really proud of what I did, versus feeling like you have to do more. And that's what we get tricky, and the sort of these goals at the end of the year or for New Year's um where we we sort of just don't feel motivated or feel good about ourselves, and they start

making us feel not enough or not important. And so setting it up where you're having monthly goals or monthly intentions that you're working towards because we're always growing as human beings, and this gives you an opportunity to not only know ourselves deeper and develop that relationship that maybe you are spending three hours in the afternoon, maybe it's only once a month or twice a month, and maybe you're just getting those joy deposits every single day where

you're going to get your coffee or your gym or your time with your girlfriend, but you're really setting this up to this is important. This is something that I want to work on. This is where I want to grow myself and my relationship with myself because you're all here and it's all our divine lives and we get to choose how we want to live them every single day. To celebrating myself is actually on my list for this year.

That's great because it's crazy because to me, it's like, oh, I have to win an former me would say I have to win an award to celebrate myself or it has to be like whatever, something like big. But truly, just the fact that I want to send time with myself is a celebration for me because I have just done a lot of work and feel really like, you know, like actually like me, which is and I've never been able to say that really before I would say it to myself, but to say it out loud, I was

um conceded. Whatever. Everybody here knows I'm not that way. But it's like celebrating all the tiny things I love a toast before dinner because I feel like you have to come up with something to cheers too, and I just want to live more daily in a cheers mode. I think that will just bring you. I mean, I'm that way. I have to have my alone time, I have to celebrate myself all of those things where I almost I'm just a worse person for everybody around me. Yeah.

So I think that you'll really you don't have to do a lot because you really loved you, don't I mean, you don't you like your alone time? Oh? I love alone I just never get it. But I fantasize my kids are still a priority, like that's one of my very top priorities, or I just can't function. We're in a season, so my son is my daughter is now seven, and my son is four, and so it's like that those tiny years it was hard to just find, you know,

like you can't even go to the bathroom. Yeah. So now I'm starting to feel like I can breathe just a tiny bit. Not for long. You can do it. I'm gonna try. I'm gonna love it. It's harder when the tagers too. Yeah. I'm kind of in that sweet spot because I have like thirteen, ten and six, so I'm like getting a break. The thirteen year old isn't quite like teenager going out all the time yet, so I'm like, I'm going to enjoy this until it's crazy again.

It's kind of nice, I think, when you're also talking about for so many women, is really starting to love yourself such an important message because so many women feel like they have to come after their children, after their partners, and they're so last on the list. And by talking about prioritizing yourself and really making you the best version of you, You're going to be a better mom, gonna be a better partner, You're gonna be a better friend,

you're gonna be a better coworker. And that's such an important message that we need now more than ever, especially for women. It made me tearful, which piece the part where yeah, it's because we do. I think it just took me a minute to understand that, Like I don't have to pause my life because I'm raising them. Like

even that podcast has done that for me. It's like it may just be an hour a week where I'm with my friends, but I get to go back to my true self and I get to do the radio side of me or the the you know, just the vulnerable side of me, or the oversharing side of me in a way that's productive and feels like I connect. But I haven't had that for so long. I was um.

I worked in the music industry on like the business side and the radio side before I had met my husband and he's an artist, and so I became a state at home mom. So it was like one eight and I really struggle. Postpartum was hard. Everything was just so different that I feel like I had that brain that if if I do anything, that I'm sacrificing our family, and it's just not the case, Like we can do

all of these things at the same time. We don't have to like wait to train that part of our brains where it's like all this has to be before we can think about and we need to retrain society a little bit, if I'm honest, because I feel like that's part of the piece that makes us feel like we have to be a certain way and that's just

not true. No. But I also think though, too, we like to have I like to have the certain control that I don't want to give up, as well as a as a mom, when I even when a co parent, or even when I was married to you know, to Mike, I was like, there's certain things that I think we're just better at. To be honest, I know we're better at scheduling, and you know, so it's like and and and then I think because we know that and we're really good at, then we take on additional things that

we shouldn't take on, right. I think the better way to do that is to acknowledge what we're really great at and still do it because it's going to fail if not, but find other things that maybe we can that we could real english. That's what I've covering perfectionists. There's nothing that we can't nail, so we can nail all of it, so we don't have to sake Okay, I need to have a one on one with this chick. Well, I think you're also sort of talking about sort of

the constructs that we put on ourselves. So when you're talking about that we have to do these things or we're the ones that are better at scheduling, those are sort of the value systems that you're imposing on yourselves and how you feel good about yourself. And sometimes if you relinquish it. It may fail, it may not be as perfect as it is for you. But I think for you, for you to really decide is this important? Is this value about myself or someone that can do

it all? Is that really important? Or am I creating more space and time for myself where I'm letting things go that may not be perfect or may not be as good as I want them to be. What is creating opportunities for me to grow? And that gets right back into what you're talking about with the monthly challenge of really setting it up, of trying one new thing that you're wanting to really kind of work on and develop.

And I want you to be a little flexible with that too, because it might be you really get into something like um. An emotion that I really love is appreciation and doing small things like when you're going to the grocery store and mentioning someone's name and telling them that you appreciate them. It allows you to be really present with another human being even if you don't know that.

Or when you're traveling and you see your mom who's struggling with a toddler and going over and sort of talking to the kid and distracting him for a moment and allowing you to again have this human connection where other people can appreciate you and you can appreciate other people.

And so that may be something that becomes over arching where you're really working on that feeling an emotional state for yourself that really brings you a lot of renewing feeling and again going back to that energy um of really allowing your battery to get recharged within you. But there are might other things that might be shorter challenges for yourself and and hav enough flexibility is gonna be

so important as well. Oh that's great flexibility. That's really good. Um. Thank you so much for coming on and just dropping these little nuggets for the new year. You guys are amazing. You're so sweet and I look forward to hearing more about more all of your tips and more information about the new year, New you. I love it. Thank keep it up all right so we'll have you back on. Thank you girl, Thank you. By Susan