Motorcycle Diaries

but I'm still noticing no ring on your finger. Not I mean, there are plenty, but not one on the finger. We just can't figure it out. So poor Sarah. You guys obviously know she's been dating the same man for six years, not months, not weeks, years, and she gave him an ultimatum that if he did not give her the ring by the new year, she was going to leave him. He does not have a ring, and she's still with me. Here I am, and here you are.

So I feel like Sarah had to come on the show because so many people you turned off your comments section on Instagram. And it's not that I'm like scared or anything, because I feel like a lot of people were like coming into my d MS hot and I was like, listen. I was at a wedding for someone else. I got eighty seven comments on a picture of MENTI of them telling me how many days I have left. I'm like, I can count. I know too, like I'm also wearing fur and like my hair looks really good.

It would be nice if somebody told me you did. I'm like, why is everyone like coming at me? I don't know, because you get like everyone listens and they're best in the fact that you had eight more days too. At that time, was at a wedding and I'm on the dance floor and like you're I'm getting all these checks and people are like Sarah like your Instagram and

I was like, I know, I look really good. And then it's like no, like you need to go see the comment, and I was like, I mean, well, then I felt bad because when it didn't happen on New Year's Day, I mean I was still giving hope that maybe New Year's Day. But when it when it was January two, I went to your page and so many people, so many people were deeming me emailing here. I heart

radio and been like, what happened with Sarah? I mean people go to your page just to see if they didn't want people to like hey, when it's like I'm getting so many d I feel so bad for you. I'm like, listen, do you feel bad. I'm like, I'm in cobbo. I'm doing absolutely great, thank you, but like you had a no, I had a meltdown for sure, but like it could be worse, and I'm like, don't feel bad for me. Thank you for feeling bad, but like have you have you brought it up with ti

amazing question, Mike, thank you for asking. So that was my New Year's like not resolution, but that was my like, okay January one to like when we got back to l A, I was like, I'm not bringing it up, like I'm just gonna let it ride, and I'm I'll talk about it. You're really the only person I think I've talked about it with, because like my sisters, no one's like called me. We just like have not so well.

We talked about it because we went to an event together a couple of days ago and I said, look, it's the elephant in the room. We got to talk about it, and then I don't want to talk about it again until you want to talk about it. So she basically said that she had a conversation with Tay and said I was like, we're not I'm not. I'm not bringing it up like I'm done, like because I had like a couple of meltdowns and I'm not gonna tell I don't have meltdown. Sarah doesn't cry my only girlfriend.

I'm just I'm not a crier. I'm not like a I flip out. But I had like a full meltdown, and I was like, get it out of your system, let it happen, and now we're done, like we're just But here's the question that I asked her in the car. I said, done until when done until April? I done until May. I thought about that, Okay, you thought about it.

I think I can't set like a time. I can't what, let's November this year, No, because what I told you, don't go up with your finger because it's gonna be like what I said, like, okay, in case everyone forgot, I'm a scorpio. And until I really feel like I have to use that stinger, I can't just like be done because when I'm done, I'm done, I know. So like that's why I was like I could tell I wasn't ready, Like I wasn't really ready to walk away,

but like, who knows. I feel like I just have to let it ride and then it's just gonna like happen, and like God forbid for him, Like he'll never come back from that if he's like when you're done, You're mean, you are so done. You don't talk to them, and you don't look in the direction, and you just you just shut your heart. And that's why I don't want that to happen to him, and I really don't think it will. But that's why I was like, I'm not going to set a day. I'm not going to set

a time. It's just gonna be like a thing. But here's the deal. We're planning, like we're planning a November wedding. I mean, you know, how is that going to happen? I mean, listen where she wants long sleep. She wants a long sleeve November wedding done exactly, so long sleep November wedding, that's what she wants. She's referencing a photo in the room grow wearing a wedding dress and she

had sleeves. But no, that's what she gets done. Look, I'm not going to talk about it until June because I think by June, if you're not in her face, yeah, if you're not engaged, by June, will be moving because you're moving to Nashville basically with my dude. I mean a lot of people are going there, so it kind of seems like sense. But so what do you want to say to everybody out there right now that is blowing you up that thank you? I think I don't know, well,

because I understand that they care. Hello, I care about things are going on in people's lives that I don't know. But I think that people were more like frustrated, and it was like, look, I'm still standing, I'm still breathing, I'm okay. I chose not to leave, but I felt embarrassed for you, and you know what, That's what made me mad, as I felt like he you asked what for what you wanted and he didn't give it to you,

and I feel like that's super disrespectful. It definitely hurt my feelings more than anything, Like my feelings were hurt, but I wasn't really embarrassed for other people. I was more embarrassed for like my family, like you, like for people who really knew what was going down. Does that make sense? Well, and all the listeners too. I mean it's kind of a slap in the face, it was, but I was more embarrassed, like being like with my

sisters and them knowing how badly it wants. Just like, yeah, no, I did like that you said though, when you guys like addressed it and how you were like kind of because you do think like ti, even though everyone's like that's not true, You're like, no, yes, it is like a lot that you said. I believe, Yeah, and I don't think ties this kind of guy where he would out of spite not do it because of the publicity behind it. But you know, I don't think he even

considers that. I don't think, so that's not the equation. But I'm just saying that because I could see some men being like, no, just because other people you brought other people into this doesn't mean I'm going to do it. I'm actually not going to for that reason. Yeah, but you told him what you wanted, and that just makes me agree. So that's just my thing. Well, look, basically now, it's like get the skinner gets felt, but really like in real true life. It's like you're at that age

or let's go it's Ready Player Too. I don't know who Player Too is, but I'm gonna go out and find him. WHOA I'm saying, like if he be like that, you know girl, No, I'm proud of you. I loved that Player Too. Isn't that the movie? It's Ready Player one movie, but your your Player one. So and he's we've been playing for quite a long time. But like you know, he knows you know well, We're very happy to have you on the show. I'm so happy to

be because we've just family. It's I mean, you are our family, and we're just we're going through a lot right now. Michael and I are actually fighting in this moment. We're putting on a professional stage. No, I can't feel it. Trust me in the room right now, you guys made Mark lie not even looking at you because I'm still angry. She hasn't made eye contact with me. I'm really so far, so far since we've been I have a professional and

I have a great how you are. That's why, Yeah, can we bring up what we started talking about, Tina, look at me now. I'm not looking at you because I'm still piste off at you, so I'm not going to look at you. So can we can we discuss what we started talking about when Sarah, when you were over yesterday or the other day, about the Kate Hudson thing. Oh yeah, Mike really wants to talk about this. I really want to talk about the fact I've been stewing

in this. He literally stewing. He heard him say, what the F bomb? You're welcome Easton. I didn't do it. So Michael got real upset because our friend Leslie, she sent us like a screenshot of people's tweet that said, Kate Hudson opens up about raising her daughter Rainey with a genderless approach, her daughter with a genderless approach. Did you read the article though? Did you read more into it about what that means? Because sometimes genderless might be

falling at me. Can you guys just tell me what that means? Well, that's the thing I think. No, no, because maybe they're genderless as in, hey, we're gonna like for example, Leslie, Leslie bought Jolie a lawnmower and said, I I don't buy gender like I don't buy gender appropriate thing. So for Jolie, she bought her a lawn lawnmower, and then maybe for Jace, she'll buy him a broom set.

So maybe that is as far as she's going, maybe because that's genderless or is it genderless as in you can maybe if they're they're going farther whereas and you can be whatever? What was whatever that is? Did she say? What did she say? So? Did you read the article? No? I didn't read the article. I saw enough. But is it is? It? Is it? Um? Was it something where she said, you know, you can be a male or

a female? Is that genderless? I guess I'm confused what I think there's a difference here where it's not talking about remember when we had justin his wife on bald're talking about they're talking about feminism, which that was about a quality. So that's different genderless. I feel like that's just it explains itself like genderless, and even if it's about something a surface level as toys, it's like what so you're going to purposely go out of your way

and say, here, Jay's, here's some barbies. So she said she's not going to let her kid or no, I guess you're right. Yeah, I think I think at least we should have the facts. Yeah, and then you can interpret it however you want. So, she says, we still don't know what she's going to identify as. And she said when press during the interview about whether raising her new daughter was different from raising her two boys, it doesn't really change my approach, but there's definitely a difference.

I think you just raise your kids individually, like a genderless approach. She continued. I will say that right now, she's incredibly feminine in her energy, her sounds, and her way because she's biologically a female. Michael, oh, Michael letters, send your emails to and it's very different from the boys. Now. I think that can mean, you know, like you don't automatically have to make the bedroom pink. You could let your kid decide what colors they like, right Like Jolie

likes green. That's her favorite color right now, so so I guess green she so like. Obviously, though what she's doing is by by her kind of choosing to not do things like the little girl. She's going to be a girl she was she was biologically born as a female. Part Let's say she's going to not buy pink, or she's gonna not do, so her daughter's going to grow up ly liking Yeah, that's what I'm a little maybe blues. Why can't girls were Jolie's blue clothes. I'm nothing, I

have nothing to instead. No, I don't either. I'm just saying if she grows up, okay, So like, let's say you grow up only listening to like a certain type of music, You're only gonna like that music. You get what I'm saying. So by her saying like, I'm gonna let my daughter choose, well, you're really not because you're not. Like you're putting blue and right in front of if it's not pink, and you're gonna put paining her room blue, then you're then you're saying, hey, like blue. What makes

you so angry about this? Because all of this talk about the sexual identity and everything, I get, Like, I get like people they might not feel like the gender they are. I have no issue with that. But when it comes to a child and they're bio, they're born and their biological parts are male or female, that is black and white. That is how your higher power, whoever you choose to believe in, science, evolution, God, whatever, that

is how you were created biologically, scientifically created. So now all of a sudden, it's oh, no, he's born with he was born with a penis. But you let him decide if he wants a penis. What a lot of people are going to disagree with you, please, they will, And that's fine, and that's everybody can be entitled to their own feelings and opinion. But as we progress, maybe as a human race, try looking at it, maybe a

little more openly or with a different perspective. Okay, but let me ask you something if just like the whole topic we're talking about with painting the room pink versus painting room blue, So if you have a son that's born and you say, all right, well, I'm not going to call you a boy. I'm just gonna call you a child or a thing or an it or whatever, And aren't you aren't you really steering your your son or your daughter in a in a opposite direction like you.

They don't they're not gonna know what to identify with. They don't even know, they don't even know well enough until they're older. So how what are you supposed to do when you're When Julie comes to us and we say, hey, you're a beautiful little girl. Oh no, I'm sorry, you're a beautiful little child. Yeah. And she wants to wear a dress. Oh, Joey, you don't have to wear a dress. You can wear you can wear this to Yeah. I

think that's fine. I think it's very complicated. But that's my only Did she do this with her boys or she just doing it with the girl? Great question. I'm just I'm actually interesting and I will do this. Get this so that you can because I I think that you're you have your opinion. Everybody's intild to it. I think if we had a parent in here that has a child that was biologically born a girl but identifies as a boy, then you could I think, so what

they go through or the child so time out. I think that's different than what he's saying, because what I heard you say that if for some reason, let's say Jason, obviously we were raising him as a boy and we're calling him a beautiful little boy and blues and all those things. Um, but if he comes to us when he is ten years old, says mommy and daddy, I I feel like I'm a girl that you're not going to You're going to love him. That's what you you're

just saying. He's just saying to not persuade them in the very beginning. If you don't treat them how they biologically are created from an early age, then they're not going to know. Let them make up their mind. If you don't, then you're making the mind for him. And this is, by the way, this is how he acts when we argue. So he doesn't like respect having an opinion. Let me ask you a question. I'm going to throw out an example that's a little you know, to the side,

and then you guys can discuss it. So my little niece, Chelsea, who is I just worship her, I love her. And I said, oh, Chelsea, you're so cute. And she said, Auntie, I don't want to be cute. I want to be athletic. Okay, So that's not anything to do with gender, but like it really was thought provoking for me because she's so into gymnastics that she doesn't want me to go you're so cute, You're so cute. She wants to be athletic.

Like I feel, yeah, and here I am wearing hot pink sweaever, but like I feel like children are going to go through their own things, but like three four or five, six, like how old does this baby? Three months old? Six months old? Like yeah, and they're not even gonna go there at that age, it's going to be so like if someone gets her a blanket, a pink blanket, is she's just gonna give it away. That's what I'm just I'm confused. Well, yeah, I think that's

parts confusing. Then also you're what kind of I think where you're coming from, Mike, is you're also confusing the child of what they are who they are, So you're not only in this day and age is who we are and I'm still figuring myself out. I'm still confused.

I mean not about my gender. And I can't even imagine how hard that would be to not identify or or you know, have those thoughts of I know, I'm soppos like a boy, but I like a girl, and so I can't even imagine that that like that being torn like that and now understanding and not feeling things. But if you know, again your parents and we're not saying you can be whatever you want, because then it's confusing. It's like you are a boy, and if he comes to us later on it says that he thinks he's

a girl. That's his decision, not we're not just because society has stereo types of boys in blue and girls in pink? What is wrong with that? Let the kid decide when they get older and they know who cares. That's the way society has been for years. It's not a big deal. Well that's what it's like. It's not like we're in like the like. It's not like the girls like mom, I want to like I want to go place, you know what I mean. That wouldn't be weird if she was like, mom, like I want to

be a tomboy. Okay, So then it's like, why not just let her? Yeah, get there? I get that. But then I also think, Michael of society. Shouldn't some things in society change? Yes, absolutely, shouldn't be like, well, that's how it is in society, and this is but I'm talking about things like that, like the colors or you know, to boys, you're gonnauy different toys. Fine, Am I gonna buy Jason a pack of Barbies? No? Why not? Because

he's gonna play with g I Joes. If he doesn't want to play with him, he wants to play with Jolie's Barbie's fine. Fine, you can have that choice. Okay, so you basically you're making him, but I'm gonna I'm choosing to raise my son as a son. But if he comes to you and wants to be a girl, you would be okay with that absolutely, because I can't

even imagine having that. I'm just confused, confusion. I will say to be open minded and that maybe help people out there that are getting piste off and listen to me,

say go on. This rant is to Amy's point, maybe years down the road, society gets to a place where some psychologists and doctors get together and they write a book on how to raise a child genderless appropriately and scientifically, where it's not you're not forcing them in either direction, but it's truly somehow they figure out how to be neutral, not depriving them of something or the other right where they where it's like, hey, if you do this, if

you get pink, you get blue or whatever. It may be, like maybe that can happen in the future, but then what do you do with names? Like her daughter's name is Rainy Rose, but yeah, she's genderless, Like what you know, launch your neighbor name. I'm sorry, I don't want to call it a girl. I don't want to call her daughter a girl. Name it a mutual name, you know, that could be either way. A Leslie, that could be a male or female. Leslie's not gonna like you for

that comment. Sorry, Leslie. We just met a girl named Michael. Yeah, that's true, we did so. I mean, you know him, give your every child, it's going to have a name that can go either way. I wonder if she's like actually taking it this seriously? Are we all just getting up in arms about nothing? But it's not even about Kate Hudson really personally. It's it's just about this whole theme society right now. And oh, don't call my son a boy because let him decide. We may have interpreted

from her what was two sentences? Quite like are we going with? But that's okay because you're having an interesting discussion right again, It's not about her, It's about takeaway Michael. If you really listen to yourself, is that if one of your kids came to you, you're going to love them and accept them no matter what, wouldn't matter. That's

what everybody should hope for. Yeah, absolutely, and how we how we're raising our children are their gender that they are right now, that they biologically were born as I just really God created. We believe in God, Jesus Christ. All right, well, let's getting fit and staying healthy. Always

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was like, does Michael still want a motorcycle? And I'm like, oh my god, babe, did you look at your text message? Holy moly, I think you're going to get a free motorcycle. And Michael's like, oh my god. I was like, tell me I'm not gonna get a motorcycle. Tell me I'm not gonna get a motorcycle and something we have to do or whatever. And so then I'm like texting Tory, I'm texting East and I'm texting Amy like trying to figure out. I'm like, She's like, finally, she says, well,

it's not You're not getting a motorcycle. And I was like, I always just a guest. I was like, I was like, that's a balloon plate, honey, where are we at with Today is a bad day to ask her? I don't know. She's not too thrilled with the way our morning's call. Um, where where you're not getting a motorcycle? That's where it's at right now today, That's where we stand in this minute, right now, maybe later today, depending a couple of therapy after this, so we're for sure not talking the rest

of the day. I'll take it. I'll take the kids tonight if you want to go get some rest. What and by rest I think he means out. So sure. Uh so Michael wants a motorcycle, I said, every guest that we've had on is pretty much shot it down. Boris everybody else? Literally everyone? When why the only person that says yes to motorcycles my friend Rachel, who because

her husband has a motorcycle. I'm just very yes. Three, I'm just very fearful for the fact that when you do have a motorcycle, you're gonna hurt yourself really bad, and then you're gonna have You're going to be the guy from the upside, which is fine, but I just don't want you to hurt yourself. Great film, by the way, so good. We just thought the other night so good. Um So, I just what do you mean what are your thoughts on a motorcycle? Sarah? I mean really like not.

He's got two kids, not a shot, and he's getting sorry. I'm sorry. I went to work out this morning and this is my second watch and I'm wearing pink. I'm just all over the place. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm done. Two kids that will be super proud. You have a question, though, you know I like to be in the middle. Um what you just like? Is it like the thrill? I'm always, always, always always wondered one. I couldn't get one when I was younger and single because I was playing football, and

that's like would have been the worst thing ever. Is there something we can replace it with? Like do you want to go skydiving? Yeah? Another motorcycle? What about video games? That allow video games? Back in the house. I know that actually doesn't even entire one because I don't even have at the time. So when you have the time, we'll ride a motorcycle. Do you want it for like day to day or do you want it for like

a random Sunday after Sunday afternoon. I just I don't know, I don't I just I'm fearful now because everyone's telling me how dangerous it is and how badly you can kill yourself. Yeah, it's just like a core. But I don't know. Maybe today I say, sure, why don't you get a motorcycle drive off a cliff? You know in the scenario? Sure, what we guys go do that thing that they did. No, I can't even para shoot or what's that called para sale? I did that one time

on spring break and I was having a panic attack. No, no, no, no, I don't even so like if you could replace it with something that would make you equally as aroused, like alight fast back. Okay, let's get him that. Fine, how do we get how do we do that? Seven something fastback? Sure? Google? But yeah, like next week, maybe not next week, a couple of years. Okay, So we have a he's going to be calling in though I don't know who he is, but apparently he's going to arouse us with a motorcycle.

I like it. Stay tuned. But before we get into a car accident, in our motorcycle motorcycle accident, we're going to brush our teeth with quip. You do, talk me all about it. My brother in law got him for my whole family for Christmas. I'm like, dead serious and I'm obsessed to give him to all of us for Christmas. They're like super cute, but you know, obviously, starting a

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motorcycle debate that is raging. By the way, though, can you just when he walked out of the room is when you actually said your thoughts on it? And I was like, funny how he said his thoughts after the six ft six man walked out of love. I just don't get it, and everybody's different. I don't get motorcycles. I don't get that. I don't get motorcycle guys. I don't get motorcycle guys. I hear them go buy my house, and it's really loud and it's annoying. Motorcycle guys are annoying.

I'm sorry they go buy on the white line. We're all stuck in traffic. We all hate them, we do of haters. Anyway, Joining us now is Dr Don Vaughan, who has an angle on this. Dr Vaughan, Hi, are you Vaughan? Good to be here? All right? So what what is your angle on this? Yeah? I mean my angle is that I don't have a personal angle, but I do have some science about it. Um. Yeah, you know.

I mean people have long talked about motorcycling and how they feel about it, but no one's actually been able to rigorously study if what writers report is real or if it's just something that people say. So we actually we gotta study, funded up by Harley David, sent to look at fifty motorcycle riders, and we scan their brains and took hormone samples before, during, and after riding and

driving a car. And what we found was that, um, riding a motorcycle actually decreased io markers of stress by about so that means that from before after about twenty five minute ride, we saw that people actually showed a decrease in hormonal soda. Yeah, soda swinging on a swing more or a diary swing. Um. Well, Interestingly, driving in a car didn't show that so I'm not sure swinging on a swing would either. Um, and I'm not here

to add the key to either the perspective. I don't think anyone needs any data to tell you that riding a motorcycle is more dangerous than driving a car, and driving car is probably more dangerous than sitting at home and getting on the internet. But um, you know, if people want to make their own choices, there are some interesting mental effects we saw too, which shows that while

riding a motorcycle there's actually changing brain state. Uh. And the change of brain state looked like people were able to get more focused, presumably because they're focusing on the road and not on anything outside that's distracting up there the focus and there, so you can immediately see a change in the brain state during by the point two minute, right, so you know they are there are differences, and no one has studied it because it's not easy to study

someone going tips on a motorcycle and scanning their electrical brain activity. But we were able to pull it off. And yeah, you were able to find the only people that haven't killed themselves yet on a motorcycle to be able to undert market sized But yeah, is there any reason to question this study since it was paid for by Harley Davidson. Oh, I think that's a that's a

great one. It's a really interesting point generally because I love that the public thinks that scientists are these like objective robots who look at data objectively and that it's all HiT's all fine. But you know, you look at you look at drugs studies, you look at this results that people get. Do you know who fund studies on drugs that are related to you know, cancer and addiction.

It's the National Institute It's on It's from the n i H. But if the National Institutes on drug abuse, they have a particular agenda, they have things that if you want to get another grant, you better believe that we as scientists have a unconscious or sometimes conscious bias to find different results. It's also say that generally know, anything any scientists is trying to say you have objective data is either lindy or trying to tell you something.

Um what we did find? Uh? I promised them. I said, hey, you know, this is an academic study. Whatever I find, I find and I can publish it. That we happen to find these particular results they're just they're more like in the realm of fact, I don't know if they're necessarily good or bad and the kind of person that you are. So I can understand completely that some people have no interest in writing a motorcycle that that doesn't find with me um and for other people like I

don't know. You know, Look, we're in the most stressful period of human history where you're constantly bombarded with information. Social media is out of control, and I think people do look for ways to to modify their stress. So if it's swinging on a swing, go for it. You hopping on a motorcycle, all right, that's the choice that you want to make. I'm probably the wrong guy to get into debate about it because as just a personal perspective,

I'm a life and skydiver. I get something that when I go into the lab and play with p values and data for ten hours a day, that just doesn't give you everything I need. So for me, getting and jumping out of a plane dout and that just works for me that if I don't, it's just like if you don't get out and go to the gym after a while, then you also feel stressed out and not everybody feels that way. So there is no scientist has the answer for you. There is no like perfect life

to live. All I've interested in is everybody has a different avenue on their mental health or it works that. Um, this one just hasn't been talked about or rigorously studied enough. I mean I respect that. You know, you're basically saying, hey, just like use skydive may not be the safest thing, but it's something that you know gets you centered and

chill and relaxed, So don't owners. Yeah, yeah, you know what. Look, it's so funny because my family, for a while, I said, oh, don't know, I was talking about getting a motorcycle because I would I would be drive in l A traffic to U C l A, every single thing, and I would come home and I was so pissed, so angry. I'm like, I can't even leave the lap until ten o'clock at night because there's so much damn traffic at

the angry and it was the craziest thing. But one day in my family said, you know what, why don't you get a motorcycle? And I was blown away because, look, I still don't. I don't ride because I didn't have time to take the course and make it happen. But it was so interesting, was like, look, I'd rather take you and this, you know, whatever the changes and risks, I don't know, have you to be happy and and

something that feels good for you. And it's but its found it interesting that so many people report that a lot of people are skeptical, fair enough that people say all sorts of things. You don't know whether to believe that were not. But there does seem to be something real about for some people. And it's a it's a it's a biased sample. These are people who are experienced motorcycle riders. That's not a munch of people. We train depth so they happen to get this stress relief and

it works for them. Well, I think that's fascinating and I actually have something a little more important to talk to you about though. Are you single? Oh my taken, I'm looking at your picture right now. I'm like, you'd just be so great for tany r ad but cute little dimple, you know, like smart, smart scientists. But it has to be you know, it had to be somebody who can handle talking like a dork. Good on her. But well, I appreciate your thoughts and your wisdom and

your neuroscientology. Everybody had it back. Make whatever choice works for you. Thanks by So where do we stand now? Does that change anything? Janna? No, because he basically said that whatever you like to do gives you like him golf and go golfing what ever? And that was the Harley Davidson paid for it. That's that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Do we already know that, we already know that you would love to ride a motorcycle. It's dangerous.

You have two kids, you have a family, But right now, sure, go right off a cliff. I don't care. I'm that's dangerous. Opposite baby, opposite witch today not today, sorry, not today? Oh no, I can't come hanging up the head you want to get Just do whatever you want. I don't care. I don't care anymore. So what was the important thing we have to talk about? Why are you looking at

me like that eating your chocolate? I just, oh, I just I'm annoyed with you today, it's all Why because I apologize and do the right thing, and then he totally take away my apology in the car because it wasn't good enough for you, even after after he said after he said, you know, if that really meant a lot to me, thank you so much. And then you throw that in the car while we're in the car parking in the I Heart radio garage about my BS

apology and I'm like, damn, that was a heartfelt apology. Well, I appreciate. I apologize for taking away from your apology. I do I docks. Have we covered why you were apologizing in the first place. You always just want to get it goes there. I get scared, but I yeah, this is what I love about this show. It's like a cake. What got it with a knife, you know, because like the center, there's no Well. I walked in and Sarah looked at me and I was like, I

hate my husband. And again we all know I'm wearing pink, so like stood up and put my arms up and she just looked at me. I was like, and she comes over and shows I hate my husband. I was feeling excited, but it should have worn my black. Would you like to start, honey? I mean, what is there? I apologize for coming back on your apology. I accept it. Is it about the Mark wants to know? Apologizing the

first place. Um, Jane is feeling a lot of stress and pressure right now because she's just busy all the time, Like she always has content to shoot in social media, stuff to post and just it's just she's doing everything and being a mom, being a rock star and all that. Well, you know now that I'm not doing the medical sales gig, this is my gig, and then other stuff that we're building as a brand together is my job as well.

Which a lot of things are an infant stage, so there's only so much you can do, right And so Jane is just feeling a lot of stress because a lot of this stuff immediate immediately right now is is up to her, and she just kind of feels like she has to do all the work sometimes and wants

me to help out in other ways. And we still are working out communication where sometimes you know, she might kind of unload unload on me or expect something from me when I don't know, Like I'm trying to figure out this whole world, this whole influencer entrepreneur, entrepreneur, self employeed type of world. I've always been structured, you know, So this is entrepreneurial. Is that the way? Yeah? So she's she's used to to kind of being her own

motivator and used to that. Again, this whole world I'm figuring out, so I don't always know what I might need to be doing or taking care of. And we had we were on a hike at Priming the other day and we had a discussion about content stuff and it was finally a good open conversation, educating me on why we need things, what what we should be taking pictures for content And so now I'm like, okay, thank you.

Now I know. Now it's explained to me. Now I'm mindful when I'm at home or we're doing stuff why we might need to take pictures or why we might not need to do certain things. Because before that, just saying hey we need content stuff, I don't know. I don't know what the hell that means. I don't even know what the questions ask. It's just you. You have the social media platform. I just assume you're taking care

of it, and so which is wrong to assume. And instead of saying I should you know, I could have been saying, hey, what can I do? Explain this to me? I could have been more proactive on that front. But so it's been a lot of that, and Jane spent a lot of pressure and I just again, while I'm still learning, I need to take a more proactive approach on helping out in different ways. And something out of my pressure that I shouldn't have said that was not

very nice and not very nice. It's not that it wasn't nice, it just I shouldn't have said it, and it's a big trigger for him. So honestly, I don't have a issue saying what it us because I feel like nowadays, with women growing in in the world financially and everything like that, there are probably more husbands at or spouses that deal with this as males where their wives make more than them or they make the money, or whatever it may be. And so her comment was

she was so frustrated. She was like, well, I have to do everything. I'm the one making the money. And that's like an ultimate trigger from me ever since at the beginning of our relationship, because pretty much from the beginning of our relationship was when I was retiring from football making really good money. So that's always been something that weighed on me. And now when I felt like we were finally in a place where we're we're co workers,

were doing stuff together. We're building this brand. We have so many different olive branches that we're putting out there and directions. And then to still hear that that's such so validating the one making the money. I said, I I feel the pressure to make the money. That's what I said. I have to make all the money. No, I have the pressure to make the money like the money, which is said to him, regardless of value said it.

We both know what the outcome was, right, we both know how it made me feel, right and which I said, I'm very sorry, but he says, I have a very hard time apologizing. Initially, you do because I have a reason of why I say things right and right and again so because of our lack of communication. Your reason behind saying things is because really you just wanted me

to help with more content stuff. You wanted me to help do some more research on some things that maybe we can set up for future endeavors, which again are things that I might not think of because I'm still new to all this, right, and for me, it's more myself. I'm I'm very insecure, and so I put the pressure on me because if this doesn't doesn't work, then I'm the failure. And then I've just totally made him take a leap of faith to to do all this stuff

with me. And if this podcast fails, if our book thing falls apart, if our show docuserius falls, if all these things don't happen, Mom and Babes doesn't like, if these things don't happen and I'm not successful, that means that we're not successful. So that's all the pressure on me, and that means that then we're both broke. And and then I let I made him, not made him. I you know, he left a great job to to do this, but if if I can't build it because of my name,

then we're screwed. And so that's all the pressure on me. So I'm just like, that's like working together, living together, being together, and like there's a lot going on. You know. It's really interesting though, to bring it all the way back around to what we talked about at the beginning of the show, is that you both are in a gender old school society, gender role reversal, and it is complicated. It is no matter how many times people say like I'm cool with it, I'm cool with the being Mr Mom,

it's it's hard well. And what made it worse today was I had a shoot today, a photo shoot at the house for some promotional thing, and I we were having an issue with um overloading the nanny. We don't want to make sure that so we're kind of having an issue there, and so I said to him, Hey, can can the nanny take Jolie to the park because I can't have her here while I'm shooting this stuff. So you know, I can have Jason while I'm doing the shoot, but then if you don't mind just putting

him down. But all he hears is that his stuff that he was going to do was not important because because I make the money that he so that his his time wasn't important. And I'm sorry, that's what That's what when I said that, that's what it made you feel, because that was not my intent at all for you to feel that at all. And I believe that. I believe that it was just unfortunate timing because of what was said last night, and then this morning with it being a decision, ran like at the top of the

morning and said something we discussed last night. It was hey, you know, even though she said even though you said, hey, I can watch Jase while I'm doing the shoot. In my head, I'm I'm in a corner. I'm like, you can't watch Jace while you're doing a shoot, Like that's whatdiculous superwoman, and I you don't have to. I'm like, I can take him. But then I felt like it was regardless of what I had to do or didn't have to do this morning, that was not. I felt

it like it wasn't even acknowledged. It was like, it doesn't really matter what how I read into it, what she didn't say and she didn't mean, but because of my fears and triggers, I read into it like whatever you had to do, it doesn't really matter right now, like I have to do this, I have to work.

So basically, watch ja swam ar Nanny takes Jolia to the park, and that's what's gonna happen where I'm like, it was not I'm not saying it was, but that's where I went because of just recent events and just the way that panned out. I'm like, so, therefore, to just wrap this up, I then apologize for how he felt when I made that comment, and then that we

should communicate more. And then he really sincerely appreciate the apology, and then somehow we started fighting again the heart parking lot garage on the way that he said that my apology was b asked, which makes me so angry because it's so hard for me to apologize anyways, So the fact that I did it from a good place and didn't say but afterwards or and afterwards. Then when he said that, I was like, mother, you're ready to easton

like letting it out today. Anyways, here we are. I feel like this is therapeutic, though I don't think this will be the last of this discussion too well. We have couple therapy after this, so I'm just like, this day sucks. Good times. Well, on that note, we have a really interesting caller on this show man. So this is Caitlin, and I will let Janna sort of talk a little bit about it, but she is from Love after lock Up. I just we just need to get

her on the phone because I have to ask her. Hey, Caitlin, so you're with the Wine Down crew. It's me, my husband, and my girlfriend Sarah. Hi, guys, I have so many questions to ask you, so let me just start from the very beginning. You're dating someone you're dating someone that's in prison. Yeah, how does somebody? How does that happen? I don't know. Not only was he inpertance that he was also missing a tooth. Totally not my thing. I'm

sorry he's missing a tooth. I haven't got some pictures of him, but he's totally missing a bottom tooth and I referred to it as a toothholes. You know, I've never been a role that would a date one in prison or v that was missing a true how did you? How did you? How did you meet him? Oh? So I actually we met while he was incorthrated m I kind of yeah, while he was in prison close Guest City. He had a friend posted an ad on from Craigslist. Wait,

you can do that from jail. You can go on craigslist. So he didn't do it hisself, as friends did it. And I'm literally sitting there on the couch one day like Ford, just kind of you know, looking for So she's entertained my Craig post, asked right, and I stumble across this picture and I like, holy crap, he's cute. And that was battle she wrote from it. Oh, so can I ask what he's in jail for? Um, he was in for the possession um and eluding. So the eluding was um kind of I guess avoiding on that.

So so how's it going now that you guys are with each other constantly? Well, I mean it's a world of difference going from twenty minutes uncles together. I'm telling you that one. Um, you know, and it's we're adjusting. I mean, I there were things that I don't think that I thought about, things that I don't think that he thought about. But getting out of prison alone is a huge adjustment. And then you know, so a girlfriend and that hasn't been there, you know, and he's not

used to relationship. It's all been a huge adjustment. What is your family thing like when you told them what was going on? So initially, you know, I kind of got some I don't have a huge family. Um. Actually there's like a lot of tragedy within my family within a lot or five years and I'm sorry that so like, realistically I don't have a whole lot less but the family you know that I do have. Initially they were supportive, but then that's just release. They kind of started to

get closer. They're like, really know how we feel about this, and while I can understand and appreciate that, you know, well, they don't have to go to bed with them. Yeah, you're like, I'm going to do me. I mean, look, you know, okay, it sounds it sounds bad. I mean, I'm not one to judge. I'm not I'm please don't think this is what we're trying to judge you. I'm not judging. I mean you found love in a very different way. And I mean, is he is he doing

better for himself? Is because I because I I talked to you for two seconds and you already seemed so sweet, and you seem like you've been through a lot, and so I want to make sure that you're okay and that he's not going to keep doing these bad things, because I would love for you to have something stable

and have a great man there for you. The stability is definitely like what what my goal for like is currently you know, and that and I have had many, many lengthy conversations about I guess expectations from one another um and he honestly from I would probably say the fourth or fifth email, and I felt some sort of sense of comfort from him that I never felt from anyone else. So he, oddly enough, you know, has made

some graduates and this and that. You know, um, he kind of opened a lot of doors for me, um, and I think we both want to do better. You know, life is hard in us. We make mistakes, learn from them to move on and do better every day. So you know where our heads has been since the beginning? Really, did you feel any loss of intrigue once he got out where It's kind of like, yeah, where maybe that was part of the initial experience and attraction and infactuation

and was like, oh man, this is kind of exciting. Yeah, it was any of that lost like once he cut out. So here's the thing. I don't know. I don't know, you know what everybody's vision of prisoners, but I don't think prisoners sexual um any means I've heard he told me a story's about taking a bird bath, and that's especially bathing in your toilet in front of your celly, and that just does not sound attractive to me at all.

But you know, there there's there's been stuff that I've learned, like she doesn't necessarily like to pro laundry away, or maybe it doesn't necessarily make it in the laundry basket or you know, but I think that's a man, just a man. Oh man. You know, my grandpa was the same way. My grandpa would leave his dirty socks from the hallway and then my grandhaway they want. I mean,

it is totally amancing. But you know, coming into the relationship, not sending even one night together, I had been without a shirt on. I have no idea of what he was going to be like, and him me even you know, so it's been a crazy life. I have a question for you for signing a lot. Well that's that's good. Um, the first time you guys had sex, you can technically have sex. I was in prison, right, Yeah, so I guess podical visits are things that I think it's different

from state to state. You have to be married, um for thirty month time organs they'll let you do overnight. Um. Physical much was super limited. You know. We had four visits, um, and I would go, you know, sit at the prison and visit with him for six between six and eight hours, and it was like you get a seventh seconds, you know, embraced, whether it be a hug or a kiss, and that at the beginning of the visit, and then another step for the end, but there in between, I mean, these

guys get gets one hand. You can hold one hand. If you're holding two hands, somebody comes over in the one hand, you're doing too much or you're like for too close to hit that. Wow. I mean, I guess some people get away with more than that, But I'm too big of a chicken to even attempt it because I don't want to go to jail or prison. No, thank you? How old are you? Thank you? I'm pretty true. Do you want kids? Yeah? Yeah? With him? Yeah? Is he the same? Is he older? Younger? He is twenty nine?

Get it. My husband's younger than mine too. We're cougars. I love it. Love After lock Up is on we TV Friday's ten nine Central, So I'm like, I'm watching it every Friday. Strigued. I never watched, but now I want to watch it. It's so weird because I mean, it's weird for multitude of reasons, like the way the show came about. I mean, it wasn't something that we or I for say, I guess because he couldn't really do it for prison. Um, I didn't go seek sing

it out. They found us. And it's been a complete whirlwind, and you know, Friday night come around and I'm like, how am I watching myself on television? What is going on? Like? And some of this stuff, I'm like, oh, did I really say that? I'm gonna go hide now? And how do you deal with the negative? Judgmental people that you know are thinking? What the hell is wrong with this? Lady? People? People people have judgemental I mean, that's just your society

is um. You know, I'm guilty of the same. Would I seek somebody out online to speak negatively of them without ever having a conversation with them? So absolutely not. And my thing of the negativity, Like, obviously, I know that it's gonna be there. People are gonna have opinions, but let them have them again, I'm only confirmed with I'm going to bed with it, right and really, like, you know, let's embrace positivity. Life of heart enough as

it is without you know, people talking. Yeah, let's let's be nice and let's all get along and I help each other do better. Well, I mean I love that outlook. So I mean I'm rooting for you guys. Are as long as you're happy, that's that's all that matters. And uh yeah, dang, girl being happy and like being good to one another, and I don't you're significan another. I mean people want it can't be good to one another.

And well, Caitlin, love you and best of luck to you, and and uh and Matt and I'm now I'm super intrigued. So I'm definitely gonna be watching Love after lock Up. So thank you for coming on our show. We really appreciate it. That's what's so fun than you guys. I really didn't know what to say because I was super

uncomfortable with because I have so many questions. Well, no, I just don't want to like because I didn't because when I when Amy first told me about this idea, I was like, man, what the hell is wrong with her? She's crazy? I was saying all these things she's but then when she's talking she sounded so nice. Where I was like, I felt bad for being so judgmental, and then I who am I to freaking judge in anybody?

I know? But like, are you ever scared? Like I wanted to be, like, do you get scared when you go to sleep? Like I don't know? Yeah, he had it was possession. It was what does that mean? It could be could be weapon or could Isn't that what Robert Downey Jr. Went to prison for? He went to prison, and I would marry him, But I feel once you're in, like, you know, like there's got to be some like he's seen some stage. Well yeah, I mean finding someone in prison.

I mean again, even having the idea you you he she found matt imprisoned. To me, that's just so insane and so crazy and she's got to have the craziest messed up life. But then when she's talking, it's like, again, who the hell are we to judge? Who the hell are we? And for everyone listening right now probably things like that that girl is crazy. Who the hell are we to judge? I really have nothing to say because

I'm like, I mean, look at our situations. The relationship is moving past with people people that you two are crazy for coming on a podcast and arguing with the jow I know and back after infidelity, and you're crazy for saying with a man for six years, And I say people are obsessed with love after lots. Well, now I really like in trees watching it, like, but I feel bad not for judging her because she sounds so sweet. She has no family. I'm like, God, I I was

that trolling. Maybe it's like kind of one of the like she was saying that. I don't know. So Rumbert Downey Jr. Did go to prison, jail or prison, I don't know the difference. Um, prison is like no joke. He was possession, same as this guy. So everybody does deserve a second chance because look at what he's done, right, I mean the guy that I was married to that went to prison for the things that he did to me. I remember he found a girl in prison and at first I was like, who ever want to date him?

He's awful? But if again, if people change and people grow, I mean clearly he didn't because he ended up you know, repeating patterns. But it's just you know, Steve Avery had like multiple multiple girlfriends and wait, oh I had like seasons of Fonce's there's something about watch. Do you think it's something about the individual, whether it's being the female, the non con where something in their life, some kind of traumatic event where they need like they feel like

they're the answer for somebody who needs help. Right, there's something I make up that there's something deeper in their email. She had never like felt the way like whatever they were Like, maybe because because he was relying on her, like he was feeling safe and comfortable, like she needed to feel needed essentially, you know, so maybe that validates

certain things in somebody that makes you feel. Yeah, and then it kind of you said to I thought that'd be interesting, that appeal, like, oh this is dangerous and scary. That sounds sexy. But no, I'm like, straight I would be in fear. Well, I mean Tie is like, I mean, he's straight out of freaking Baker Laurel. But would be very scary. Yeah, not that he would hurt you, but like what if he was like yeah, like you know, I did some things, I mean, murders a whole different.

But if you're a drug person with your possession drugs, you know, some bad people people want to come and talk to you. I mean it's scary. You know, they can like kill people from prison. All right, Well we're gonna make things prettier. Oh my god. You know what they don't have in prison, functional beauty. They don't have good shampoo, and they don't have a good conditioner. But we do. Okay, so people in jail don't know this frustration, but I sure do bottles on bottles piling up in

your bathroom, each one falsely promising a miracle solution. I feel like my shampoo conditioners are just filled with chemicals and do nothing for my hair. But no, seriously, That's why I'm very thankful for Function of Beauty shampoo conditioner, because not only do they customize what I need for my hair, they also customize the bottle and they make

it look really cute. So in our Nashville home, we're going to have you do know that, right, Mike, We're gonna have Yeah, we'll go on that in a second to are we fighting again? I don't want to fight anymore. Function of Beauty addresses all your hair concerns by being totally customizable. Like I said, so, whatever your hair goals are, it's amazing you name your formula. Our products are so personalized.

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twenty off your first order function of Beauty dot Com. Again, use the code Jana at checkout for off your first order at function of beauty dot com. Do you really shave my down there? You don't want, dude, No, it hurts you shave? Yeah. The only time I wax as when I was pregnant because I couldn't reach down there, and it hurts now way, I I shave all the way and I shave with his razors every time he always goes, did you use my razor? And I go, okay,

we'll just we'll talk about that next week. Um, do you have an email mark? Actually, this is a pretty juicy one if you don't mind. If you have time from anonymous, those are always the best ones. My husband and I have been having the same argument for about eight years because he's a very sexual person. He wants it all day, every day. Even when I was young, I was never really crazy about sex, and if I wasn't in the mood, he would watch porn and handle

it himself. At first, I didn't care and handle it. At first, I didn't care. I was tired of pregnant or sleep your pride. But then I started having issues with it. Why did he want to look at other naked women? What was wrong with me? I am making a huge effort and I'm trying new stuff out of my comfort zone. But my question is how do you feel about it? From the man and woman prospect? Am

I being ridiculous? I'll start, You're not being ridiculous. You have to figure out what's right for you in your marriage, and it's for me. I feel like I'm not pretty enough or good enough knowing that my husband is doing that with other to a screen and I don't think it's all. I don't think it's okay. I think it's cheating, and that is my stance on it. Sarah. Um, yes, I'm just gonna say same. Does t I watch porn? No? Have you google searched his sister in the beginning? He

did in the beginning. No, I mean, like, I listen, let's let me make it very clear. The only thing I'm searching for right now is one thing and one thing only. The only thing I'm typing into his computer, by the way, which I got from Tanya. She was like, no, you know you have to like get on his phone and get places and then it'll just pop up, like you just start googling things and they so anyways, No, I'm not looking for anything other than like Harry Winston

dot com. Michael, Yeah, I mean what Janna said, it depends on your marriage. Um, if it works in yours, fine, If it doesn't, then talk to him about it. But I mean the fact that she said he wanted sex all the time and she was never really crazy about sex. It's like, well, you know, if she's not gonna give it to him, and that's something that she you know, they they've talked about and it's okay. Then okay, but it looks like she's trying now, So I mean, I

don't know. This is a discussion. You gotta find out what works for you. It doesn't bother me at all, because did you guys read fifty Shades of Gray? But that's like the girl version of that. Yeah, so you're kind of fine, and I don't know, maybe you watch something like that, but like, it doesn't bother me. It's fine. Who cares? So anonymous and it bothers some, it doesn't bothers other others. You gotta find out why it bothers you.

And there's there's multiple issterous here. What is it? He wants it more than she does, and then the second guy doesn't. Well, my husband, that's all our time. I'll see you next week on wind down. Do you need needing new? We didn't need to. Thank you, Thank you, thank my wife because she does all the work here. Thank you to open to fake It, full access to open fit, all the workouts, nutrition information totally free. Just text Hipercruiter tries hippercruiter for free at this exclusive web

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burger is they're really good? Is good Burger? Is grips to Hambger that anyone who can enjoy experienced Monties Good Burger Monties in Koreatown and Riverside or visit Monty's Good Burger dot com based and delicious. Okay, bye bye. That was That was funny.