Mommy Issues

Wind Down with Jana Kramer and Michael Cosson and iHeart Radio Podcast.

I still don't think that it just really it really still doesn't sound extra like rift in there.

That just doesn't doesn't seem right.

Did I play the wrong one?

I don't know.

It's just still just an't.

I don't know.

I feel like maybe, oh, you know what would be really cool is if we had a contest and someone could send in how cool would that be? Like a new jingle for us?

Wow, I don't like that to.

Have both of our names and saying iHeartRadio Podcast. It's like a cool some guitar solo part for Mike.

And then Tory could just redo the voicing, right.

What do you mean read the voicing?

Because she she does the voice on this, doesn't she? Then Alison can she can?

Wife?

Doesn't you can still record her voice for that whatever the person sends in, I mean, yeah, unless it sounds great.

Yeah, it's like the audition tape for the middle, because you know how many people went out for that song, right, hundreds hundreds. I was a little offended. I didn't get asked, but it's fine, just totally kidding. So I am very intrigued by our guests. Today we have I don't want to pronounce her name wrong, but it's soon. He soon, He and Angelica. There's a new show on TLC called Smothered. Basically, Sonny is obsessed with her daughter Angelica and she doesn't

Interesting.

I'm not judging at all. I'm just very curious to understand kind of their thought process with with that lifestyle and how it's working for them. And you know, does Angelica. I think she has a boyfriend, So yes, it'd.

Be interesting to see what you know soon he the mom, what her like backstory is on what kind of caused her to create this kind of environment? Right? You know what I mean? Like was she raised that way?

How would how would you feel if like I was doing that with Jolie And I'm older in my fifties and Jolie was in her or my forties.

I wouldn't let you, But.

Why does it have to be to let you thing? I would I'm not saying I would do that, but.

Yeah, because it's it.

Kind of sounded like I will not allow you to do that.

Well, just like if I did something that you didn't agree with, you'd be like, no, you're not doing that.

No, I totally get what you're saying. I just it's something where I just don't wonder. I guess I don't understand it, but I don't want to judge it, because if that works for them. But at the same time, you know, for me, I want to raise a very independent girl and son. So I feel like I would be holding my daughter back if I was doing things.

Like that, right for sure. And I'm not saying I wouldn't let you from a dominant male point of view, I'm saying when it comes to parenting, that's obviously one of the things that when you have a couple ship with somebody and just hade to have kids, that you

The mother daughter relationship though interesting because I know, like from my mom when she moved out to LA with me. It's one of those things where you have to be careful of the boundary of friendship and being a parent too, and reversing the roles, And I think that's, you know, can be very tricky because sometimes if you're reversing the role and the daughter feels more like the parent and the parents are more like the child, it's really kind

Mom right, which I think is a natural thing later on in life where you know, like our parents, our grandparents are getting to the age where they need to be taken care of, and it's our parents that are starting to take care of them. So it's one of those things where it's like it comes full you know, it's a cycle, it comes full circle at the end where you know, the child becomes to the parent at the end and taking care of the grandparent.

So sidebar, would you let your parents live with you when they get older?

It depends. It would really depend.

Or would you put them in a home?

Oh? Man, it would really depend. It would depend on where we're at. It would depend on what you know, what age the kids are at. It would depend on the financial you know, financial finances around it, because those homes are expansive, you know, so not saying that we'd have to pay for it, but still it's expensive. I don't know.

Well I remember you saying that you wouldn't you don't want another kids because you're like, hey, I want like the house to ourselves. Well, then our kids are gone, but then we're basically bringing in a younger you know.

Parents are going to have to move in when the kids.

Are you know, who knows if they get sick or if they when they get old. If we're having to have them move in with us.

My thing is just knowing me though, because anytime that you know my parents, we've both through my life, I've had both sets of grandparents live with us at some point.

So I like my space too much.

Not trying to be like, no, I do too, but I'm saying it's it's because that's what I've witnessed. I've witnessed my grandparents us living back at my grandparents house, through transitional times I've experienced where we've had my grandmother live with us, where my grandfather has lived with us, and now my grandfather lives permanently with my parents, And so it's one of those things I'm exposed to that

I mean, of course I wouldn't say no, you know, go down the road to Sunset, you know, retirement home. But I mean it's like I lived with my mom right after when I moved to LA, Like she lived with me for a couple of years. I mean, shoot, we all lived together, us three live together. So I feel like.

And apparently I kicked Nora out.

Yeah, because she didn't like but all as well now, but you know, it's just one of those things where again if she was sick, and of course I would, but my first instinct is I would rather not, just because I do like to be able to have our own space, and I get so nitpicky with pushing the chairs in and if they're not pushing chairs in or putting this the dishes away, like even when our family comes to visit. It's those things that when someone's in your space it becomes frustrating.

We have less tolerance if it's one of us that leaves something somewhere, like even us, like we'll have more tolerance with each other's like okay, they know I don't like when the dishes in sync, but okay, like we give each other pass if it's something right every now and then.

I mean, mine's a total double standard because the second, you know, if you die before me, and then I'm left like I'm moving into Jason's house, I don't care what the wife says, like I am moving in Jolie. I don't want to live with her, but Jace, like, I'm moving in with your wife. So I'm going to play you this when Jace, you know, Mary is the love of his life, but I will be living with you and you have no choice.

Thank you.

I also like the dynamic there when Mike Mike said I wouldn't let you, and you were like excuse me.

Now.

That's a very common thing I think in marriages where the dad can be like, hey, I'm going to go do this with the kids and the wife says, oh, no, you're not right. But if he switched it around, the wife's like, how dare you tell me how to raise.

I'm a grown woman. You cannot tell me. The man will not tell me what I can.

Or cannot do quality baby.

Yeah, yeah exactly. Then you guys say, no, you're not doing that. Okay, Okay, you got.

The problem is it's just there's two different things. So what I'm doing would be taking the kids to this above all trampoline park and Mike's like, hey, let's go RaSE four wheelers with the kids, and I'm like, they're three, so there's a household present.

Is there a four wheeler out in the garage?

I don't know about.

I mean, I love this hypothetical.

Reality, like that's like what the guy would like something crazy like that, where it's like something for example, my my no a.

Four wheeler for a three year old.

So for example, my.

I'm sorry that you want to take the kids to color me mine?

Do you want to go?

Oh my gosh above all extreme sports is so great big Champlaine Park. No, I mean you're like, let's go, let's go bungee jumping, you know, off off of a cliff.

I'd like experiences.

So but my dad, for example, he took my brother when he was I think nine years old, because I remember him coming back and it was the most dangerous hill you could possibly even imagine, and they went bike riding down and my brother falls off his bike and completely destroys his face. I mean he comes back bleeding and just like blood. Everyone is like his skin basically is ripped off his face. And my mom was like,

Think that's an over exaggeration, but yes, but that is the worst when she says, you know, maybe not, that's really dangerous, you know it anyway, and they get hurt.

Oh that's the worst. The seeah, I told you, So when you get thrust into that situation, Uh, the worst.

All right, guys, I really want to talk to our guests, So let's take a quick break and then we'll get them on there.

Do it.

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Son Hey, son Hey, we have Sony.

And Angelica from Smothered.

Welcome ladies, Hello, thank you, thank you for having us.

So I just I kind of just want the backstory from you guys first, because I've read a few things, but I want to hear it from you guys, and I want our listeners to to kind of understand. Can we start with Sonny.

About the relationship.

Yeah, about just kind of your upbringing, then your relationship with your daughter.

My relationship with Angelica has been more than just a mother daughter relationship. It's been more of a companionship and she's been the sunshine in my life. So we have healthy boundaries and a very respectful, loving relationship.

She didn't have a good relationship with her mother, and so she's just built our relationship throughout the years. And ever since I was young, I just could always remember my mom was always there.

That's awesome. And so for the son here is that's something where just because you didn't have that relationship that maybe you always wanted, where you're just just overcompensating. It's just like I'm going to give Angelica everything I got.

Yes, that is perfectly sad.

So what what makes you feel that you're why why do people say that you smother them if you have healthy boundaries.

Because they only are going by what they see. They don't know really the the.

Whole detail of what do they see.

They see that I smother her, they see, So.

Which way is do you do people see that?

I think in.

Ways of controlling the relationships that she has. But it's really not that I'm controlling. It's more like I'm looking out for her. I'm being protective and what mother wit and in the situation that she's in.

Right, So.

I'm thirty one, Oh no, I just turned thirty two.

That's right, congrau.

And oh thank you. Hey.

Is it true that you have a boyfriend but you won't let the boyfriend move in or you want to move out? What is it you want to move in or outer?

So I do have a boyfriend and we've been together for about two years. He has asked me to move in, but I do want to bring my mother along as well. Interesting, that'd be perfect.

For us, you know, because you want her living at the house. I do because you want her to, or because she wants.

To, I want her to live there. I mean, our perfect, our perfect living situation. We would be my boyfriend and myself and her fiance and my mom just all in one household for sure.

And how does the boyfriend feel about this right now?

I mean, I think he's fine.

He has to be.

He doesn't have a choice, So.

I mean, I'm not forcing him to do anything.

So as if he did understand a relationship, wouldn't I wouldn't be with him exactly with him?

So he So you're saying like, if you guys, you've already been together for two whole years, so he obviously understands y'all's relationship to an extent. At least for right now.

Right, Yes, he does. I mean he was brought up by a single mother and his mother is also Asian. They have my mom and her actually have a lot of similarities, and so he gets our relationship. It's not he's not as close with his mom like I am, right, but he understands the dynamic because he was brought up the same way, which is interesting.

I guess I'm having a hard time seeing what the problem is. Why why you know, I guess I'm just having hard time understanding what the issue.

Is, like whired, smothered like this ship like it's.

Like it's not like Angelicae has a problem with any of it, So I don't see.

Why there's are like what things commercially have have been emphathiz sorry, empathized, emphasized, I'm sorry, emphasized on the show to make it taboo or we you know, or whatever people think of it or just different, like what things do you guys do that they kind of highlight.

There was in our sneak peek there was a scene where Jason was giving me a ring and my mom doesn't approve, so she asked me to give it back.

Did you approve of the ring.

I thought it was very nice, very lovely ring. It is. It's very nice.

She did approve the ring.

And what's your, sonny, what's your Is it just you want your daughter like you love her so much, you want her to have the best that she deserves or is it like, is it something else kind of other than that which caused you to not approve of the ring.

There's a whole realm of him not having his divorce finalized and his girlfriend's exactly exactly yes, you know his Uh, he still has his ex girlfriend's belongings in his home. And how is he able to honorably ask my daughter to move in with him when he still hasn't done these things as promised.

That makes completely that's a valid and again, but that's not being smothering, Like that's a valid mom point. I would say the exact same thing.

It's very rational thing, very rational.

So that's where I don't I'm like, that's where I don't get the smothering part of it.

You guys, what we read something about do you guys sleep in the same bed or are you used to you help each other get dressed?

Like there we we do sleep in the same bed. We have our own separate bedrooms, but we do sleep in the same bed. Sometimes I watch my mom put on her makeup, I help her get dressed, I help her do her hair. I'm just her little helper.

Does she help you do the same.

If I ask her? But I don't really need the help.

And you, again, you have no issues or no problems with that, Like that's just have this amazing relationship we do.

And I respect my mother so much and I will do anything for her, so if she needs my help, I mean I don't.

She taught me to ask for anything. She just automatically does it.

Exactly.

I mean, I think people can easily judge, which isn't fair because at the end of the day, if it works for you guys, great, right, you know. I to me sometimes I would if I would hear it, I'd be like, all right, well, what about independence and wanting you know, your child to live on your own. At the same time, I loved living with my mom. He was the one that did want my mom living with us.

No, but I mean essentially you did.

And it's okay because I'm like, all right, I guess you're right, But I mean I would have lived with my mom the entire time because I enjoyed have her own. She's my best friend and I.

Loved her exactly amazing.

That's where, like I do, I understand that, and I think, but I think people you know, have a hard time with it because they have I think, place their own judgments on it. But that's it just might not be right for other people, and that's okay.

Yes, And it seems as though the ones who don't have a close relationship with their parents they have an issue with our relationship. I don't know what that is or they put some sort of negative connotation. And how can you when we clearly both love each other and respect each other, how do you do something like that to someone's relationship. I just don't understand, right.

It is interesting and for me, from my perspective, it would just be people's discomfort because the relationship that y'all have is something that they never experienced. So like even for me is I'm very close with both my parents and we have a fantastic relationship.

But you wouldn't take a bath of them.

But I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I mean, there's still certain things that would be a boundary for me. But that's just me because certain things would make me uncomfortable. You know, what is it? Do you guys have anything that you do individually or for yourselves that doesn't include the other?

We basically do everything together.

I don't know.

We get stumped every time we get asked that question because practically, in our everyday life, from morning till we go to sleep, we are very much involved in each other's life.

Whether it's no. I was just about to say that that's the only time we're apart. We work at different places, Okay, but.

I mean essentially, now you're on this TV show, so you're kind of becoming this how do I say, like your reality going to be reality stars in this new world, So you're technically working together now too.

I think that's awesome, it's amazing.

Well, here's the thing. The reason I love like our situation because I work with my husband. A lot of people maybe didn't, well don't want to work with their husband or their spouse or partner. And that's again, it's whatever works for you, and I think that's great that it works for you. And you know, now I'm going to try to get my mom to live in with us now, even though I just said when she's old, i'd put her in a house.

But that's what my daughter, she always says, no matter where I go, no matter how old I get, you will always be with me.

I will carry my mom.

So what happens when that day does come though, when she's not around, Like, will you be able to because you know we can't taxidermy or you know, like but like, how will you be able to because you've depended on her so much with that relationship.

I don't know. Yeah, and I don't. I don't want to think about that. I know it probably be the worst, worst time of my life.

Yeah, yeah, would Yeah, I mean I can't even imagine. I mean, obviously losing a parent, I can't even imagine, but to have like the closeness that you guys have that every single day. Because I don't see my mom every day. I wish I could, but I I you know, she lives in a different state, and so I can't imagine how you would feel if that, you.

Know, on Smothered on TLC in the show, give our listeners a little bit of kind of hindsight on what you guys do. Is it them just kind of following your alls? Everyday life or are you do you guys kind of have a mission behind it of showing people, hey, this isn't a different it's not a rehearsal, and it's we're comfortable with it, Like are you guys trying to just expect they just be like, hey, we're okay, and this isn't some weird thing that well.

I think the misunderstanding of people is that they feel that I don't give Angelica her space or the respect of that she has her own life outside of our relationship. But she does and she is given that. But in everyday life, what you see on camera is what and who we are right right, And I think which is love.

And I think people, you know, just because my mom and I are close, they expect that, oh, she's just the cool mom. She never was a disciplinarian or she never you know, taught me how to be responsible.

In my life.

It's she was very much everything to me. My mother, my father, my my disciplinarian, my best friend. She was everything. And I think people think that just because we're close, she wasn't a strong mother or a good mother. And I want people to know that that she is.

See. I love that if I just again, I just think it comes down to this is what works for you guys, And I again, because of how close I am with my mom, I love it and I get it. I just don't. I hate that people are going to cast their judgment on you because it might just not be how they live their life, or they may have insecurities because they want that with their parent or something close to it.

I always wanted a very close relationship with Angelica because as a child, I was not brought up with love and attention and affection. So when I found out that I was going to have a child and I knew it was a girl, that was just an amazing day. Ever, because I knew at that very point that she was going to be my everything, and I wanted to give her a different life than what I was brought up with.

So I.

Did that, and that's my healthy boundaries. Giving love and giving some guidance. Those are the things that I did not have.

And son, Hiana, Janna and I both want to affirm you because the fact that you were able to break the cycle in your family, because so many times you see people who just fall into that same cycle of whatever it is, the bad behaviors or bad trends that happen in their family of origins. But you made the decision to change that and you did that with Angelica, so I we definitely affirm you for that and being strong enough to raise you know, a strong and it seems to be independent woman still.

You know, it's interesting because some people would look at this show and think to themselves, oh, look at these crazy freaks, and then and then like Janna is looking at the show, well, I think that's kind of the idea of reality television crazy. But then the other side of it is like Jana is looking at it like this looks ideal to me. I wish, I like, it sounds almost like you hope that Joelie someday and you have this level of closeness.

Yeah, she wants to with Jason, not Joey.

No, I mean okay, and he's still with Jolly too, because I love again the relationship with my mom, So yes, I mean both of them, but I mean again, and it's something that like Angelica's on board with too, and that's the same thing. It's not a forced relationship. You guys aren't forcing anything. It's it is love. It is beautiful. You guys are together, it's what you both want, and again that's okay. Just like I know, I had a hard time with some guests. We had that on the polygamy,

Yeah, And I think I mean, even when Jane and I were kind of reading the breakdown on y'all coming into today, you know, we didn't judge, but we made the assumption that Son he that you're probably just an overbearing, controlling that you know, angelic, I just had to do whatever you said kind of deal. But clearly that's not

Thank you.

I'm going to watch I'm like so excited how to watch on Sundays it's ten nine Central, because I'm gonna call my mom and I'll say, Mom, can this please see us again?

I'm going to see you living with me?

And then the next day she's gonna knock on the door.

Yeah yeah, she would say, okay, I'm coming.

Oh is there anything that you want our listeners to take away from our conversation? Anything you want to say that you want them to know about.

I think we just my mom and I just hope that people can watch our show and you know, maybe encourage encourage them to have a close bond with any relationship. It doesn't just have to be mother and daughter, but that having a close knit relationship with someone you love.

Is okay, yeah right it.

Is, and they don't have to dissect it into something negative because it's so beautiful, right right.

Well, cannot thank you guys enough for coming on the show. I wish we were there to give hugs, but we superated and we just hope everyone watches Smothered on TLC ten nine Central on Sundays. You guys are the best. Thank you ladies, Thank you much. You know it's so funny. What you said to them too, about being like reading what we read about them but then realizing yeah, I mean it's definitely not the way that we would go about things, but it's still I still loved it and understood it.

Yeah, even just just hearing it straight from them, maybe like wait, it's not really that weird. They're just really really close.

Yeah, and you really love your mom and you really but I think what really when she started to get upset, Angelica, Yeah, that is what that is where my fear comes in from her, Like what's gonna happen? Like I feel like she needs to, like to your point, maybe go do something outside of their relationship so that she can start strengthening a different bond besides her mom. Yeah, because if not, she's gonna crumble when that day.

Moms.

My thing is when, yes, when that day comes, is her relationship with her whatever husband, whatever person she's with, you know, is that relationship going to be strong enough where it can withstand that tragic of a loss where it's like, Okay, now she just has her husband. Is that going to be enough for her? Do they have a strong enough relationship? Yeah, because she's because her mom's going to live with her wherever she goes, like she said,

It's interesting, it is.

It is interesting, I think. But I will say, at least just talking to them today, it killed a little bit of my judgment on the helicopter lawnmower parent, just because it seems like she has still established boundaries enough to be a disciplinarian and to be that way sound like.

She's being just whatever you want kind of Oh, here's shielding things.

Yeah. Yeah. So if that's she has a job, yeah, If that's true and that's you know, really how things are going, which it seemed like it was, then you know I could see that being the best of the helicopter lawnmower parents.

Hey, Mark, do we have time to do some emails?

Yes?

Indeed, we've got some real interesting emails here. Lindsay says, I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for two and a half years. He told me back in November. The date a one night's stand with some check when visiting the college he used to go to. He told me the week after it happened and seemed very remorseful. This was the only time it's happened, and he's apologized numerous times. I've been trying to earn my trust, but for some reason, I just can't shake this. Do you

I also find it.

Odd that when I was in school, he was always worried about me cheating and basically said he wouldn't put up with it if I did, so it's interesting he's the one who ended up cheating.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I have so much with this. So first off, I love the fact that he told her. That's huge. So that should help your trust block because the fact that she didn't have to find out he confronted and confessed to her that is like so amazing, because a guy that's going to continue to cheat isn't gonna be honest in my opinion. From correct yeah, from the things that I've learned through life and other relationships. That is. That

Or not necessarily that like I don't want to say that they're definitely cheating, or its just their their their self esteem, you know, their insecurity, insecurities and stuff like that, where he's fearful of it.

Yeah, would you agree?

So are you saying that the more someone in a relationship was obsessed with the other and cheating, the more likely they are themselves to cheat?

Think that? Yeah? Yes, do you disagree? No?

I think that's absolutely right.

Yeah, because I mean, shoot, even when I was being crappy in relationships and being you know, unfaithful, I was super amped up and I was like, oh god, it's it was like, it really is true what they say because I started to think I started to be really worried about the other person cheating when I actually was. So I think that's interesting.

You think it's possible that this guy just had maybe he just had to get out of a system, he just made a mistake, and that she can Yeah.

Yeah, I don't know if out of the system, but I think he made a mistake.

And he's sorry, he's apologized, and he told you. That's so huge in my book.

Yeah.

Should she set some parameters at this point, like, should make it real clear that this happens again, I'm out the door.

Don't don't make a draw like a line in the sand if you're not willing to follow through with it. So it's more so just expressing how much that hurt her, how much it still hurts her, but being able to acknowledge and affirm the fact that you know, yes, but you told the truth. I appreciate that, but you did really hurt me. So she can do both without having to draw a line in the sand, like if you ever do this again, I will leave right away and not talk to you ever. And you're a piece or whatever.

It's wind down at iHeartRadio dot com. This is from Shanna. My boyfriend and I have been together four and a half years, two of which we lived together. During this time, my boyfriend decided on a complete career change quit his job. His grandfather had been paying him five thousand dollars a month out of his inheritance, but he wasn't saving it.

Were they living together at her parents' house.

No, they went to their separate parents' house.

Oh, to save money, so they were living together in an apartment. Couldn't afford a new one, so they both went to their own parents' house.

Right because he had blown all of his money foolishly.

You know this.

These stories always shock me. And it happened to one of my mom's friends, Amanda, and they were actually engaged too, and they were together for I think six years, and he just literally disappeared and were like how I mean he was just over a week ago and they were in love and they're getting married and like, he literally disappeared, vanished, no call, no breakup, no nothing, just gone. And it was just like, did he get into a drug problem? Did he like, where did he go?

Well?

Ended up he had met someone else and just started a completely new life. So I don't know if that's what he did in this situation, but I mean to say, I mean, that's just that is so disrespectful. So I'd almost I hate that she said to feel worthy again, because I don't want you to put your worth into

Michael, mm hmm, I mean, how do I follow that?

I was like, I'm pointing like a president right now.

I mean, yeah, I mean, he's he's a goner. I mean, and but where do what is it?

What's the guy? I mean, get in the guy's head right here.

Oh it's not just a guy's head though, So you know, like my uncle. Yeah, like his whole deal. You know where my uncle is wife of ten years who is from another country. Oh yeah, went to go visit that said country to see family. Never came back, never came back. And for months and months and months he tried to get answers from her, like what is going on?

You were married?

They were married for ten years. Same and her daughter, whom my uncle essentially like adopted, was still who's in high school, was like seventeen at the time, was just living at home with my uncle. And he's just like, I'm sorry, I don't know where your mom is, Like she wouldn't even take her daughter's calls. And then finally at the end of it, the family's like, it has to be somebody else. There has to be somebody else.

Yeah.

So I mean for this situation, I don't know what. I can't even come up with another reason how it wouldn't be somebody else.

Well, as soon as I said, it's always somebody else. Maybe there's that one percent that it's not somebody else and they just want to get out of a relationship and they don't know how, and the easiest way is to ghost. Yeah, I mean, trust me the balls, I would do it in a couple of my relationships. Yeah, but I can't really disappear.

No, but you can't.

But I mean, but at the same time, though, it's just like, where's the balls in that? Yeah, having such disrespect for someone.

But like Jana said, you dodged a bullet, and obviously it's hard right now, we can't.

She got that DM this morning, so it's definitely raw, very very raw. What's her name again, Shanna?

Shanna? Yeah, that's I'm sorry, sweetheart, it is. That's super raw. But the best to your ability. Just again, like Jana said, you dodged a bullet and almost try to turn it into a positive of being grateful that he gave you this, Yeah, that he gave you this out because clearly he wasn't the person for you.

No, and I know it. I know it doesn't seem like it now, but you will find out the reason later as to why y'all didn't work out. Because you're going to be in a better relationship in a ca years or a year, or however long it takes, it will be the right person.

Then, do have the age does not know?

Twenties?

Yeah, it sounds like twenties.

Yeah, but then again, I mean, look at your uncle's situation.

Look at you know, they went and lived at their parents' house. Yeah, most likely their twenties.

Jessica, this is a tough one. I'm twenty four. My boyfriend of two years is twenty seven. We just had a very real pregnancy scare. He doesn't want kids, and it's made that clear from the beginning, which was perfect.

I don't either.

Lately, even before the scare, though, I'm not sure where I stand if if it happens, it happens, but I'm not going out of my way to have kids. I wasn't going to tell him anything at first, and I thought he would react horribly. Turns out he was surprisingly supportive and said if he got pregnant, it was one hundred percent my choice on how we handled it. So the topic was dropped until the next morning when he asked if it would be a deal breaker if he

So first of all, okay, you're twenty four, so I mean putting it in my perspective. I always knew I wanted to be a mom, but there's a lot of women that don't know if they want to be parents at all, which is that's okay. But in your late twenties thirties is honestly when it starts to kind of hit for a woman and you're like, you know what, I know that I said I didn't, but I actually I actually do. And because you're start kicking in and

Yeah, I mean, it's he's young to be thinking about if he clearly does not want to have kids, or so he thinks because he wants to have a vasectomy.

It's gonna be hard to change his mind. If he's twenty seven months of the sectomy.

Right, that would be That's just seems so early. I don't know why he'd be that adamant against it, but if you know, you know, I guess you know. But the thing is, he was even you know, kind of support you or not kind of he was supportive like she said about you know, possibly being pregnant or hey, you can do it's your but you know, I'll support you either way what you want to do with it.

But then flips it the next morning, then flips the next morning.

So I'm not really sure either, but I'll just say that. Say he wants to get one, okay, if you really love him and he wants to get one. First tried saying, hey, I don't know if I want kids or not, but I really want to be with you. Do you have to do this right now? And if he still says yes, I want to, I have to. I need to if we want to be together, I have to do this all right. So he does it, and if he changes his mind, you can still have kids. There's a way

In your case, we did and I'm getting right.

So, but it is possible. It's not like she's saying, Oh, I'm gonna tie my tubes, you know what I mean.

But it's just so final though it is, but it isn't.

But it's I mean, it's a little extreme for being twenty four and twenty seven years old having this discussion.

And Janney, you're the one that still wants still is one hundred percent sure that you don't want more kids?

Yeah, even though.

After I go, here's the thing, I know that we're done. It's just so hard because our little boy is going to be seven months.

He's so cool.

I'm on, but I just she's got I think she needs to hold off a beat.

What do you think, Mark, I think that she wants kids.

I think that she's telling herself she doesn't because she's twenty four and she doesn't right now. But everything I see in this email is that she's gonna want kids, and it sounds like he's pretty dead set against it. I like Mike's idea of putting it off and they can decide later. But if he goes through with a vasectomy. Think this is over. Honestly, I think that's I know that's extreme and everything, but I feel like I see clarity here. I feel that you are going to want children,

And guess what if he gets a prosectomy, she doesn't lose anything because it's like, all right, well, if you don't want kids, then yeah, I'll find someone who does and I'll be happier. So it's like there's no skin off her back, really, and.

She will She'll find someone, right.

So, thank you so much for our guests. That was such an interesting story in really good conversations with them, And for the emails. Those are some Those are some of the best emails we've had recently. Are awesome.

We've got any more wind down at iHeartRadio dot com. All right, that's it, that's a rap. They've Oh wait, we forgot.

Premature.

What's our dare for the week? Couples dare couples stare? Yeah, my dare for them would to be compliment them one like at least once a day. For a week, one thing like paper really that shirt on you for Hey, you look really cute today. One compliment for a week until the next one down? Yeah you like it?

Okay, bye, we start now do you want to compliment each other?

Now?

I just said, baby, look really cute.

Thanks, honey, I like your ses.

Oh you suck at this game.

You look beautiful even though you just worked out.

I don't believe that for a second, but thank you, Oh.

God, accept that you have to accept the compliment that I'm stinky. Not accepting a compliment is like asking for a compliment twice.

But he said I'm stinky.

Well that wasn't very nice.

But he said you were beautiful even though you just looked out, You're still beautiful, and you said.

Accept that, but he followed it with your stinky. So he's gonna have to work on this game, all right, Love you guys. Wind Down next week by

Mm hmm.