Making the Cut with Nick Viall

That's good. Um. So for those of our wind Down listeners that don't know you, let me just give them a little rundown. Nick was on The Bachelor Bachelorte Bachelor in Paradise. You first started Andy dorphan season where you receive the first impression roads five years ago. Five years ago, so if you're like forever kind of confessed his love for her as one of the final two bachelors, Oh Dune, Dune Dune. She chose someone else and then he popped

onto Caitlin Bristow's season. It was more or less invited and final growth thereon, she chose Sean ca Dm. She did every everyone knows this okay, and then you want to bachelor on Paradise, But then you had your own season of the Bachelor, which, by the way, when that choice came up, because you were kind of like hated a little bit. Not then, No, because I was when you were a bachelor. No, when I was on That's why I was the Bachelor because of Paradise, because that

was oh quite quite much. Yeah. Um, I mean, accord, we all know Janna hated me. I guess no, no, no no, no, it was just an interesting choice because you had already had two shots, three shots apparently. Um, he had staying power. I know, but like both three girls. Well you turned down the one girl? But then did you turn it down because you knew you wanted to be the bachelor? No? No, you just didn't feel the love I did. Not do people eat Paradise Actually in relationships, yeah, Jade and Tayner

arguably has a better track record than the Bachelor or Bachelorette. Um, can I just ask you a question? Sure, so I know both? No, because I know I'm friends with the Andy I was would say I know that I'm friends with Andy. Oh well no, I mean I'm friends with Andy and how close? Um? Why doesn't matter. I mean we're not like besties, but we chat whatever. I'm in New York. We'll have a drink, We'll get a glass of wine. She's a really nice girl. I like her.

I was friends with Caitlin. Well, not that I'm not what happened? Oh whose podcast is this? Because I'm the one asking the question. Son Um, I mean we're fine now, but we have a little bit of a falling out. I wouldn't say we're I mean we're we're fine now. But I also know Vanessa because obviously she's on my heart radio. So all his women have like really strong personalities. They do super super super strong. It's exhausting. But then why do you continue to pick the same women. It's

a great question, that's my question. Excellent question. You. Uh, couple of things. Okay, mommy issues. No, my mom is truly a saint. Uh. Interestingly enough, my mom is exactly the opposite of those women. Those women I have, in fairness to those women, always been attracted to very strong personalities. Uh. And my defense is relates to those three women. Those

were obviously, as the show goes, unique circumstances. I didn't select Andy when she was the patch slor At I showed up but not new Caitlin was a unique situation where we didn't know each other and I actually specifically came for the girl. Uh. And then as when I was the Bachelor, do you guys think you would have really made it work? Though? Yeah? Yeah, made she made the right choice. Um yeah, And then and you know, I also didn't pick the thirty women that came out

of Lima when I was the Bachelor. You didn't have one say no, now, you didn't get to look at any of the girls or something. I would have cast it Liz who affects with at a wedding. And then we didn't talk. And then I was like, hey, come on, let's talk about it. That was weird. It was a weird one. Um, did you not watch Paradise? No, I don't watch Paradise. I just watched the beginning to miss on your part. Also, it's like my best work franchise, So no, I did. I did not watch Paradise at

all anyways. Um, but Vanessa was sweet. She was you know, she helped kids, she was but very strong personality. Again because I exp we just hung out a nappa, but so sweet her her first impression and yeah, strong, beautiful, great is the room. She's an absolute pro at the first impression. What's the second impression? Just like I'm just saying her first impression, it's fantastic, right, But we go deep on the show, we go real deep. We talk about you know all of it. Um, I don't know

share our first impression is great, It's really great. I was gonna say, I think strong personalities, strong real personalities tend to get attracted to strong women. Personalities do sometimes sometimes not. I have sometimes find it is it will be opposite to try. I think. When it does, though, it can be great because at the same time, if someone who has a strong personality get someone who's submissive all the time, that's not a challenge. That's not fun.

You and I, I mean you and I have to have someone that challenges each other otherwise we walk all over them. I don't know you that well, but I don't know Mike at all. But do you guys have strong personalities? Yeah? Very strong, And I mean they were sweetest of guys, Like, I mean, I could name them. They're they were so sweet. But it's like I will literally walk fall and I did want anything. I can do for you right whatever you whatever you want, hey,

um or listen. I have found to Mike's point, Um, listen, I haven't figured it out yet in terms of my my match. Yeah, I know my skin. Uh, I'm just kidding, but I listen that what I've learned in life is that sometimes, um, someone with a strong personality. I like confidence. I'm attracted confidence. I think most people are, and I think sometimes it's easy to mistaken people with strong personality

is confident people. Sometimes people who are who have strong personalities and project what seems be confidence over time reveals itself to be a lot of insecurities, and sometimes that big personality will project project their insecurities and another person

who is also confident. Because if you are, uh, if you're position yourself and present yourself as a confident person and then get yourself in a situation where you feel threatened or feel intimidated, and whether it's a friendship or work situation or a relationship, sometimes that can come out.

I have found in relationships with women I have dated that again, I'm sure I'm doing things, and there a lot of things I can work on as a as a partner, but I find that I bring out some of those insecurities because I've always been a confident person and it becomes contentious and it doesn't. It's not a relationship where you're bringing each other up a brother bringing each other down. Yeah, what is your fault? You think in relationships? Like where do you think that you could? Like?

What's the one thing that you know that you have to work on? M that you like? For me, Like, I know I'm super passive in a relationship. I need to learn how to not be as passive. I'm not. I can some I need to well in life, I need to listen better. I also will play devil's advocate

a little too much in a relationship. Um, And what I've learned, I mean, I'll you know, I've learned this from female friends and all friends that like sometimes especially maybe let me know, Jenna, But if a woman is expressing her frustration about any situation, sometimes she doesn't want a solution. She just wants to set the up and let her vent. And I can sometimes struggle with that

because I'm a solution based guy. It's like, all right, let's break it down, all right, Like you know, like this is a math equation and one plus one plus one, he goes four for three or whatever. I don't know. I ter carry the two and here's here's how you do it. And she's like, just go, but I don't want to yell. Yeah, and so I can. I can be better at that? Interesting, I mean most men probably. I mean I'm not a rare bird in that, but not at all. But I really I could really work

on it. I'm like, yeah, yeah, I could really. I mean, you want to settle down very much, so sometimes my actions don't reflect my desires. But do you have any interest, like in dating anyone that's not a social stature? Like do you consider anybody and everybody? It all just kind of depends on Yeah. Really that it's a really opened the flawed gates. I'm really open to anything at this point. What about Tanya? What about Tanya? She's a sweet girl.

I don't know, you're always trying to pimp out Tanya. I love her, She's great. I don't know if we would really, I think we're better friends. Yeah, So, like, would you want confident? But then I feel like you also want submissive. It's very confusing. I think you're a very confusing bird. Like I can't I can't read you, because I think that's what the draw is. I think that's why girls people because interesting, because I often am told that, and yet I often think I'm an open book.

I'm a very honest, blunt person. I will tell you how I feel if you ask me a question, and yet for some reason people can't figure me out. I think part of it is because I have many different opinions about things, and I do have you know, sometimes they can be really quiet. Sometimes I can be big, like loud, um, what do you think? Just on the I don't I didn't watch it as much as Jana, but the first few seasons, yeah, but it seemed like

guys weren't warm and fuzzy with you right like. It always kind of seemed like they the way Maybe it's just the way they produced it or edited that you were kind of on your own and not you know, buddy Buddy with all the all the all the bros. Some truth to that early on and some of it TV show on Andy season, it was very browy season. It was like particularly like like Bro. It was also can and Sean just like fun. That's the thing that

Caitlyn thing is so specifically to the Andy season. It was a browy season and it was a poorly cast I mean, Andy season was one of the lowest rated bat Shirts of all time, and that was mostly because it was kind of a boring season where they didn't really have a villain. I was made to be the villain and that was the runner up. And when you watch it back, it was like, it's not really doing anything.

He gets he seems relatively normal, but like, you know, I gave Andy, I mean, I was a villain because I was strategic. That was my big crime, as I gave her flowers. And so I think there wasn't at the worst, you know, you didn't have the chat or some of this real drama, all these different storylines. It was a bunch of guys who were like bro and everyone was like cool with each other because and I was just like and I really liked Andy and there was a real relationship and I just was like I

didn't have time for them. Um as far as Catlin season, I showed up, right, I showed up as the perceived villain, right. So all these guys at the time, the Tanners and the Jared's and the bends of the world, you know, there you know, then I came in they had this literal target on my back. They were all really sweet and it's funny. I'm you know, Jared, Jared Tanner, some really good funds of mine, as well as Ben Higgins. Um,

they're all really cool. It was at that point just so the story of the entire season was just Nick versus Sean. That's that was the literally the whole season. So are you? Are you Caitlin versus if you could pick, it's a Caitlin or Sean team whom nobody you guys, you have like a total hatred for her. No, and that's not true. Caitlyn called me last week. Oh well, there was a big article in US about how you guys, I call it big another artist. Thanks for keeping up

on me. No, no, I'm not keeping up on you. I was keeping up on US weekly there for my stories. Um, okay, well that's so you guys are fine now, she called. I mean I was always fun. I was always annoyed with Caitlin. Um because over the past, I mean, in reality, I showed up for a season which she uh basically asked me to show up. I was I willingly also

wanted to show up. I very at the time strong feelings for you know, the little relationship we had before h um, and since you know, then she picked Sean, which was ultimately the right choice, and then I basically went away. You know, I didn't talk about her. If anything, when she was getting criticism for the whole like sex and whatever, and she was getting heat, I was defending her. And then other than that, I just kind of went away.

And basically for the past three and a half years, when it was ever convenient for her, whether it was like a snarky joke or on her podcast, I was always mean thrown under the bus by her for whatever reason, and this implication that like, well then the producers maybe bring Nick or blah blah blah, and I'm always like, yeah, none of those remotely true kind of thing. And so I was just always frustrating, and she made some more comments, and at this point now you know that the excuse

was always Sean. You know, I was like, well, you know, because Sean is insecure San, Sean is this, and um, so I was pretty pissed, and so I made some comment which I probably shouldn't have done, but I would when it came when it comes to Caitlin. I'm very sensitive about that situation because it was like, dude, look what the well you took the high road and she kept throwing ja well not only talking the high road, it was no hyrod like. It was like we broke up, like,

you know, like I showed up. I'm sorry your fiance hates me, but like what did I do? Um? And to appease him? Like I was literally the butt of jokes except when I was the batch or whenever it was convenient for her. She would willingly show up on Jimmy like she if it was you know, and so that was frustrating. So anyways, she called. We had a very nice conversation. She was very gracious, and it was a conversation that she acknowledged should have happened a much

long ago. And it was a great It was a great conversation and it was water under the bridge, and it was probably some closure. I'd probably even thought I I needed the time, but she certainly validated a lot of things I had always thought and kind of acknowledged and admitted. And it was it was nice to finally hear so and her and Sea are done. Yeah she's dating, So that's probably why she was able to finally have

that conversation with you. It sounds like it, but it really kind of piste me off the sense of yeah I can I told her this. I was like, dude, like I went away and it's like, for some reason, you've painted this narrative for three and a half years that I was like some sort of prior to you, when in reality there were stories that she too like it was like quite the opposite. It was like, um, and so again she was gracious and kind of things that she admitted and acknowledged, and I was like, well,

I'm not great. You know. It's like I know I'm not crazy, but thank you for acknowledging I'm not crazy. Um. I think I think people's own insecurities can kind of get in the way of you know, yeah, yeah, that can happen. So so what are you doing now? You've done all this bachelor stuff, You've done everything under the sun, Like, what what about Nick? Now? And moving forward? About now? What about I like that? What about Nick? Now? It's a good show? Nick Now? I have named my podcast

now you should have the vil Files. Nick Now. I have a podcast. It's called The Vile Files. It's Uh, that's going well. Seen people seem to like it, seemed to dig it. Jan is going to come on. I am super pumped about that. What's the topic of conversation. It's a lot of dating focus, but it's not I'm just going to grill you about what is it? Like you know, because you you I don't think you go you need to go a little deeper, like there's something deep rooted in you. Yeah, don't you have you listen

to podcast? I don't know. Well, are you talking about me? I don't care. No, but I mean you haven't listened to this, probably exactly, but no. Um, like I feel like you like there's something that you're trying to find and in myself. Yeah, you want to put me on your couch, so to speak. Okay, Um, we do a

lot of dating stuff. It all kind of stemmed from my questions with Nick that I do on my Instagram and so fans will call in and with a lot of dating questions, sex questions, Well we'll dive into it. We cover the Bachelor when it's on Bachelorette rather for a little bit. No, we're just gonna talk about life and you know, so he's doing oils now I also have also oil company that jan is all about essential oils. Well, she now has USD organic essential oil blends from natural habits. Yes,

and can you because Michael doesn't. And I really don't know what they're doing either, but I just know that I've been told they're good for I'm constantly diffusing around the house and then I'm how what do I do to Jay's? But I'm doing it wrong. I wish people would see like before It's like she's blessing Jay's before he goes to bed with essential oils. It's like on his forehead, on his feet, like behind his ears, and Jenny, you want to be careful, uh, depending on the essential

oil and the quality of the oils. Essential oils have medicinal benefits and they're very potent in a great way, but you do want to be careful by putting pure essential oils directly on your skin and children's skin because they have sensitive um. If you're gonna put essential oils on your on your skin, you wanted to loot it with a cry oil. Essential oils does that with their

roll ons already. So we have the pure essential oil that you put in a diffused it or you went on put into a couple of few drops under warm back and you can get the aroma therapy that way. Um. And we specially we blend them already so they're already blended, so they have specific like you make me a baby blend, I want to mean a baby blend. So another company which I won't name because we're promoting yours, the level

marketing company called Young Living. Oh yeah, man, they have a get not us dr again, but they say this for baby like gentle baby sniffle ease for the kids. I mean, that's all marketing in a sense, but we try to focus on the actual like benefits. And you know the thing about the Essential oil company, sometimes it gets a bad rap because central oils can be very beneficial for you, right, they can have a lot of various benefits. But sometimes because I think my husband's we

have like the center blend is it's specific. It's blends of various oils to help reduce and um headaches. So if you're prone to headaches, you would diffuse it in your house or roll it on the and the roll ons and well, if you have a headache will help reduce it. And if you are prone to headaches. It will help you not at them at all. Our release is great for winding that at the end of the day are going to sleep. It helps with anxiety. That's why I started using essential oils. You have anxiety to

very bad. I have terrible anxiety, So I would use the release a lot. The rise of something you'd use in the morning kind of gives you a little uh mental clarity. UM focus, you know, kind of gives you some energy boost of energy. You use them all through the fusers. Mike a warm bath if you ever bath up, I'm a big bath. How did you put a few drops? And our protectives for immunity boost with UM so the

the blends that are already in there. And so if you if you call which one I put on any well, I mean, like I don't think your baby gets headaches, and maybe not that. I think the protect would probably something I would put on because it helps boost their immunity. You can put the UM release on there for sure. Okay, why do you have anxiety? Why don't I have anxiety and put it on you? When you put it on a baby, put on the bottom of your feet, they're temple.

That's one of the many locations. It's diluted. It's diluted the roll on UM so are it's safe. But you know, if you want to be extract cautious, UM sample it and if they don't have any type of reaction. But what differs you, guys from all the other essential oils, Well, the biggest ones. We are U s D Organic certified, which in the essential oil space is unique. We're not the only ones, but we're one of the few. UM. A lot of companies will call themselves add percent pure. Uh,

some kindanies will call themselves therapeutic grade. That's it. If you google it, it's made up designation that's not recognized by any official third party in the U s D. A UM has qualified our oils is organic because of the farms that we source for oils from and they have no contamination or wrote off or adulter ins or fragrances or alcohol that we put in them. So an you really think it's helped your anxiety? Yeah? Absolutely? Is it just in your head? No, it's absolutely not your

head when it comes to essential oils. It's listen, it's it's something. It's one thing I used to help with my overall mental emotional and physical well being. Exercising also helps my anxiety. Eating right also helps with anxiety. Staying off my phone, it's one thing that helps me. Um the center Blend. It helps me with my headaches sometimes. Have I ever still taken an idear hero thin because my head is so bad? Sure? But this has allowed

me to take less medication for anxiety or head aches. Uh, I don't get sick very often, you know, in terms of using it to boost my immune system and so um. Also just keep in mind too forgetting about that. When you are talking about essential oils. Do you use candles? Jenna? Probably? You know? Do you want to know goes into the candle? What toxins lead, paraffins, egens like uh, I can't even pronounce some of them. They're terrible. Canary and coal mine?

Have you ever heard that story? I know, canarian a, cole mine, West Virginia coal miner. Are the candles all bad though? Pretty much? Well? I mean candle, you're still burning it? I mean you can There are really yes, there are some kind of are really or yes, aesthetically they're great, sure, but those are like a hundred and fifty dollar candles. But most candles you're spending bucks on have in they're colored their chemicals, and you're setting it

on fire and you're breathing it. How much of those malone candles? I don't even know how much do they cost? If if they're if they got bad stuff in them, then I'm gonna really do an uproar because those are expensive. Candle? How much like bucks? A candle? A candle? And now how long if you burn it nonstoff? How long will last? A couple of days? Couple days? Well, an essential oil blend is around fifty bucks? And so how much is this set that eighty eight dollars? And then all right,

now are blends are forty dollars? They're usually fifty six? But there right now? Okay? And then where do the listeners go? Dot com and follow Instagram? In natural habits? But yes, carry in a coal mine. Uh. Coal miners would carry canaries into a coal mine to make sure that the air was safe because birds in general have sensitive respiratory systems, and if you put a bird heard specifically canary, next to a candle, they'll have you tested. This. No,

it's just like a feeder. It's just a fact. My point is is this for all the people who are so worried about what they're breathing, and like your plugins, your glade air fresheners, also all chemicals and synthetic adulterants you're putting in your air and your skin and your respiratory system is when your largest organs and then all goes into your blood. So before you start burning a candle, when you too want to make some love and have some sex, set the mood right, light some candles, blow

it out. I'll be fine, but don't fill your indoor air yourself with um. Diffuse them instead. Do you have a diffuse in every room? I do? Actually, I mean I own the company. So I have two black ones in a white one in my house. Can we get some more of these for that? Like? How like how should we have it in in a house? How many should you have? Should you have one about four to six square feet? So this would be Jolly's room, rolly room. Ums.

Two settings where you have a set setting where constant stream last about four hours, and you have one where it will look um kind of intermittence. We have one of these that look the exact same one just doesn't say that in the bottom I don't know. I got it from I think a different company, but same a lot ceramic and it's sup stone diffuser and it lights up if you want. All right, so n h oils

dot com. Nick, You're awesome. Good bye. Hiring is challenging, but there's one place you can go where hiring is simple, fast and smart, a place where growing businesses connect to qualified candidates. That place is zip recruiter dot com slash jana. Zip recruiter sends your jobs to over a hundred of the webs leading job boards, but they don't stop there. With their powerful matching technology, zip recruiter scans thousands of resumes to find people with the right experience and invites

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Information visit JD power dot com. We just got back from almost a week of traveling and Jane and I are so happy to be back in our sick number. Yeah, because it's so great because Mike likes a little harder, I like it a little softer, and it's just so great that we're able to choose truly what we want for our sleep to have quality sleep. So coming during the Memorial Day sale and say one thousand on new Sleep Number three sixty special editions smart bed for temperature balancing,

comfort and exceptional Value. You'll only find Sleep Number at any of the five Sleep Number stores nationwide. Find the one nearest you at sleep number dot com slash Janna. Okay, so we have another fun guest, and this is going to be interesting just because we've had many discussions and arguments around finances, which I think every couple does. Yeah, right, I mean that's one of the major stresses in life.

Mm hm. I mean we even had an argument this morning about about the tension around the money issues because we were playing Alexa and Jolie wanted to watch TV, but it was like, you need to subscribe to whatever and Michael goes, sorry, Jolie, we can't afford that, and then I said, yeah, because Daddy spends our money, like I was saying it in a joking way, and he got you, what's so upset about. It's been a sense of thing recently because our whole situation with although iPad

game and all that dumb stuff. So it was just it felt like a jab in the moment. I was like, are we over this? Because I'm not really receiving this as a joke, even though that was your intention, right, But I didn't know because we really haven't completely settled it as all right, this is we're done with this. It's in the past. There's no animosity. Let's move on. Well, now we gets talked to a financial expert. His name is David bach Um. He has nine New York Times

best sellers. That's pretty Yeah, that's impressive. Oh, this is interesting. So basically, the latte factor explains how the money we waste on frivolous things. So the Hulu subscription you never watch, um, the latte that has become the habit and isn't even enjoyed, so the bottle water and so on that you don't even um. Basically, all those things that you can save

on can make you rich. So, for example, if we don't have certain subscriptions that we don't use, but who may think we use And that's a great, a great question. I have a great question around that. But also I have something to say. I was thinking this the other day. What are your thoughts on when we get to the Nashville house. I would really like to cut out plastic water bottles, so we like I buy a case of water. You go through it in like two days because you

drink so much water. I do drink a lot of water. Here's my problem. You can even tell the difference between Arrowhead and Essentia. You can tell. The people will say you can't taste the difference. I promise you when you drink a water, we'll get the best filter money can buy. If we can get the filter that goes through the house, then yes, refrigerator has a filter. No, but those are not good filters. What's a good filter? What is it? What is Essentials filter? What do they use? They? I

saw the thing on YouTube. Let's reach out to Essentia. Let's hey give us your patent technology Instagram the other day just to try to get a free bottle. No luck yet, but I'm working on it. Um No, but I just there's a lot of things like lead in water. Right when you need do those tests. People can do the tests of what's in the water, and water can be very bad. And that's in order for it to be as much water for county to allow it to be drinking water, it has to pass certain tests and

all of that. Okay, Flint that with Mike on this one. Tap water is just fine. I will say this. There are parts of the country where it's not so fine. But Nashville, I'm sure has fantastic tap water. Yes, okay, so up North Michigan we have the best freaking water ever. I mean to the point where my mom used to bring home jugs like milk carton jugs of water. But you can taste the difference between a britta and essential water.

I promise you same amount. Michael. You even sat there and you go this taste like lake water when you were drinking, because I had just taken a sip of ascension and just taking a sip of a lake arrowhead local water. And what is the reasoning that you want to get rid of the bottles? Because? Is it because the waste or because because we're We're right, but we

do go through a lot. And just from a cost standpoint, like we're like where we're about to where we're about to talk about with David back, is I feel like maybe that's something where we could cut cost because we buy so much because we drink so much water. All right, that's an idea. Okay, fine, I can cut that. That's huge for me though, you know, that's like I'm not saying we have to. I'm just saying it just it's a thought. She's setting you up. Now, she's saying that's huge.

Now she's gonna go back for you to give something. It has I think you should not golf ever again. Um, excuse me. Can we just give me wife points? Because I was going through the checklist with you last night. Yeah, I have the I have the best wife ever. Because I ripped out this page and like a recent Golf Digest top hundred public courses in the country for two twenty, and I told her, I was like, you know, this

is kind of like my new bucket list. I want to be able to cross off every one of these courses. And she's like the only wife I would know that. Like last night, yesterday, we're in Vegas and I went and played Shadow Creek, which is probably the most beautiful course I played to date, more than Pebble, even though Pebble's number one on the list, And she was sitting there like next to me, crossing off she and she was like, you know later, you know, next month I

have to go to organ. Maybe come to Organ. Here's something organ And like trying to logistically plant it out with me, and I looked at it like, you're like the coolest wife ever, because no other wife would do this. Every other wife would be like, why are you going to do that? You're gonna spend money, this and that. So if it's something that you enjoy and it's an outer circle, you know, behavior, Yeah, it is my number one thing for me. So I appreciate that, right, and

so don't take away my water. Kid me by water water bottles. I mean, if you can get the essential filter mark, what do you do? Can you like Google like how to get the best filter? Because I water like, no, it's not. If you drink a vy On water, it tastes like lotion. And I promise you if we get an evy On bottle right now and you drink Von versus An, essentially you can taste. I would like to do a taste test with you guys on water, different bottled water. Next week. We'll do That'll do That'll get

a million percent. Know Evon literally tastes like lotion. It is very curious if if your palette is that sensitive, you could tell the difference. Yes, you can, think you can. So you're could you do a hydro flask out of refrigerator and live on that. What does that mean? You know, the big hydro flasks, the big heavy things that everybody's carrying around right now, Tony's got a hot pink one. Well, I have a new line coming out and I'm creating

my own technic. There you go. So that only drink the water out of the refrigerator, which is filter want to be digit water. I don't like. I don't like refrigerated water. I do drink only room tip because cold water is not good for your system. It's not she's been Okay, she's been trying to convince me of that since we started dating. Let me just google it right now, but I will tell you that it jump starts your

system in the morning. It's not good for you. But it's not as cut and dried as that cold water is bad for you. It's not bad for you. Wait, it just says there's no evidence that drinking cold water, according to the Indian turned Well what I've been told. Okay, time out. Now she's going down the rabbit hole where she's gonna search, search until she finds what she wants to see. Drinking cold water does have its benefits. Okay,

Oh wait, I don't want to read that. Um, it's just not as simple as it's bad for you drinking. I will say to defend Janna with the whole water thing is there's two things that Jana splurges on, that's wine and water. So if she really puts up a fight, I can. I'll just do my part and me and the kids won't have, you know, water bottles and if the if the if you thank you, Mark, that's the kind of guy I am. No, I will say, I agree with you. We have a ton of water bottles

and I need to stop with the essential. If we can find a filter that is good, and I know that's good for me because sometimes we forget to change the brittle filter. It's been it was like seven months and we just changed the brittle filter. That's another exaggeration, but anyways, but I'm just saying, if we can just

make sure because I mean, even our refrigerator filter. I know we should stop talking about this because who cares, But like we don't change the filter, and then I'm like, I get I don't even like people drinking my water because I wanted to be clean because it grosses me out. She won't let me take a sip for a water Bottleney, Can I just have a SIPs? No, I'm like dying. I can be dying in the desert. Nope, I'm doing better now I'll let you know because now that Jolie

does so. Anyways, So okay, water? What else could we cut out on for you? Bread? Tell our daughter that? No? I mean, what's what's what's spends? Want? We don't really do Starbucks? We don't really. I mean, what else? Smart? What is your TV situation? What subscriptions? Do you have all the subscriptions? We don't. We just have enough Flix all the movies now we don't, but we have all

the movie channels. Oh so your cable bills? Pretty asterna cable bills because we cancel cable and that's saved its a good hundred bucks a month. Should we cancel cable? What do you do for sporting events? Who do Live? Okay, I'm right this. Who do Live gives you your local channels. It sounds like we've just transitioned into a commercial But we have your local channels and live a whole bunch of cable channels. Live YouTube TV does the same thing.

It's personal preference. I prefer Hulu Live because it's fewer commercials now and I'm very happy with it. And if you use code East dot com and you get nothing, get nothing, it will say invalid. Michael Haytes duk TV. I think we're getting what in Nashville table we can't have. We can't have satellite dishes hanging on our house in the New neighborhood. Are you getting You're getting Comcast Spectrum.

I'm not sure what they do, but Spectrum has it now where you can just stream your cable through them and it's tons cheaper. You can pick your cable channels. You can do it all a cart that's p I like that because it's either with directs that you have to buy all the movie channels. Okay, so there's that.

We don't spend much in that. We have all the channels from She watches like the local channels like seven ABC and all that stuff, and then I'll watch the ESPNS in Golf channel and then nothing in between like two D two until like five or anything like that. You're not watching the LRA network or so whol live. There you go. It's got your networks. All your shows are on demand without commercials. If you pay the extra

five bucks of my for the code for this. ESPN and the Golf channel are on there, because that's my dad watches when he comes to visit, and it's streaming, and it's thirty five dollars a month, maybe forty with the ads fifteen bucks extra. You got HBO. What about Thunderstorms it's streaming. Oh, that's only satellites like direct TV. But is the NFL sendy tickets still exclusive? Hey, I'm not sure. I think it is exclusive. I think it is. I just love how we go real deep, like last episodes,

like super Deep, we're talking about like sex addiction. Now we're talking about Hulu Live subscription. This is going to touch more people than that, Probably more people A canna be stacking their heads, see honey. Yeah, Well it is a dilemma. Everybody's dealing with it right now. There's so many services and scribe. I don't want to know the best one to save us money for what we watch because we really don't watch that much TV. That's a good thing to sit down and figure out what you

can come without. So TV that's good in the middle. One on demand we're really bad at We're terrible on demand. Yeah, that's bad. But at the same time, though, I mean, we don't not anymore, not any more because the kids did I mean watching movies and on top of everything else, you're paying a month for TV. Yeah, that's a good spot. I mean we we. iPad games aren't no more because

we basically you're non existent. They're not existent because I blocked the in app purchasing on Michael's iPad, so he now does not have he doesn't have your parenting code. But here's the deal. I gave him three don't worry. That doesn't make me feel like I'm a child. But could you do it without it? No? I gave you three choice. Still couldn't. She didn't tell me that it happened. You told me to, and then you said I shouldn't have to. I said, you're right. So I was going

along not buying anything. And then and then he went to go buy something. No, it accidentally like I was trying to click out or whatever and accidentally try to run, you know, because dumb print, even if you try to click out of it, it will reach your dumbrint try to purchase, and then it comes up and tries to purchase as in that purchases have been turned off this mother, I'm sorry, and for all the people that are just catching up and they're like, oh, you're so mean to

your husband. If your husband spent over ten tho dollars and thousand dollars, the number increases every time. Well it's it's around six thousand. That's only for the few months that I've checked. So what game costs six thousand dollars? Yeah, you don't want to get into a share because it's exactly thank you very much, be your wife be blocking that. And then I and then I brought the you know,

the situation that was just one month. You know, if I was if I had if I was playing video games again, like regular console video games, this isn't part of that. You don't have to have in that purposes. You buy the game once and then that's it. And she was like oh really. I was like yeah, She's like, m maybe we can talk about I think that's a bad road to go down. I think video games are an addictive thing. Because I'm a victim of that. There are no video games in her house because I cannot

stop once I start. Yeah, I definitely used to be that way. I think now it's like even Janna, like you know, she she would if we had a serious conversation, was like, honey, I really enjoy this. You know. I know in the past it was triggering because of our own issues. And just so people know, so this isn't just Jenna coming from a place of just authority or whatever. It's yeah, I don't want people just to think you're

coming down on me for no reason. In the past, I would always express to Janna like my only vice is video games, like I just want to play video games, when really I was doing other things behind her back, which were you know, the affairs and stuff like that. So that felt like the curtain for my behavior. So Janna kind of correlates to two and so I empathize with that. So I understand why, which is why I took a hammer to his advices to my that's right,

So I so I understand. So just so people know, I don't want people to get on you for no reason. So there's something behind that. That being said, if we want to have a real conversation, Janna would be willing probably to be like, Okay, we'll talk about it, but we don't have time. I don't have time yeah, I have no time. No. I mean maybe if we get on the better schedule with the baby, maybe when the kids get older, but I just want to golf. So anyway, let's take a break and we'll talk to David back

when we come back. So you spend a third of your life and sheets, so it's about time for a betting upgrades. So this is a true story I want to tell you guys about. So we changed our sheets in our bedroom and Michael gets into bed and he says, honey, these are the most amazing sheets ever. What are these? And weird you get on It was like, um, these are brook Lennon And it's funny because their tagline is these really are the best sheets ever. And that's exactly

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So let's let's figure out where we can had some stuff. David, are you in the line? I am sorry about oh don't be sorry at all. Um, it's Jane and Mike. Hi David, how are you doing? Hi, guys, I'm doing great. We're really excited to talk to you because, like I think probably every married couple, we've definitely had our um financial arguments, um, which I'm sure obviously you are an expert too, and so that's why we're super pumped to talk to you because you are I feel like you're

kind of like the guru for all things financial. Well, thank you, you're welcome. Um, So the Latte Factor that's out now, right, Yeah, this book just came out last week. Congratulations, thank you so much. We're so excited. It's really just like taken off. This is my thirteenth book. So it's been really fun because this is the first book I've done. It's a story, it's not a classic non fiction self

help financial book. And people really reading the book like from you know, in one sitting, and it's having such a profound impact on them that they're already going out and buying four or five, six, nine copies and giving them out his gift to friends and kids for graduations. So, um,

it's been an amazing way. That's awesome. Congratulations, that's so cool and what would what would you say as like the log line for the Ltte Factor the log line on that phrase before um, If I were to give you the the three minute story of The Latte Factor, it's it's a story about a young woman named Zoe

Daniels who's the Millennials. She's twenty seven years old. She works in Brooklyn and she's been living in this She's been working in the city New York City now for six years and has her dream job and is actually making more money every year. But at the end of six years, she sort of looks up and realizes that she's still living paycheck to paycheck, that she still has

student loans, and that she's not getting ahead. She's renting, and she's starting to question if all of the hard work that she is doing is ever going to lead to anything even remotely related to financial freedom, because she doesn't feel like she's living her dream life at all.

And so she goes on a journey where she starts to think about where is her life going and she meets mentors, starting with a woman named Barbara in her office that began to teach her how she can basically be financially free and go for her dreams and ultimately be rich, and how it can be as simple as

starting by saving five to ten dollars a day. And so she's taught this metaphor h called the Latte factor, which is a way to look at where are you spending money and then learn how to redirect that money to putting herself first. She learns how in this little short book, the Little Story, Little short of Story, she

learns how to do what's called pay yourself first. And she's really taught that's critical at a young age to becomes financially selfish, to put herself first, and learns how to do that, you know, not through budgeting, because she learns, you know, budgeting doesn't work, and how to do it through automation, so the money that she's saving is saved automatically. And finally, like two learns you know, the two critical lessons of wealth, which is that she needs to also

own real estate. She have to own real estate and you have to own stocks because those are the two primary escalators to wealth. And finally, by the end of the book, she really learns how to go for her dreams and learns that you know, money is a tool to three her to live her best life. And at any age you can start to go for your dreams.

So that sounds awesome. I want to read act what David, What inspired you to do it in this format of more of a storytelling than you know, educational life, you know, kind of help? You know. The honest answer is that with seven million books out, I've had nine consecutive New York Times bestsellers on money and and that's incredible and I'm so grateful for that. But but I've been frustrated. I've been frustrated realizing most people will never read a

financial book. They may even buy them, but they won't always read them. And so I just started really over, you know, over ten years ago, asking myself a question which was, how could I package would people need to know into a really short story that anybody could read? You know, we even start like starting as a teenager. And so I my personally, my personal life, I've been very impacted by storybooks like Who Moved My Cheese one of most all time classic business books by Spencer Johnson.

Um The Alchemist by Paula Quelo is another book that really had an impact on me. And so I started, you know, asking myself the question like, how could I take how could I create a story that would especially inspire young people to learn the lessons about money they should have been taught in school and they never were. And then anybody could get through in an hour to ninety minutes. And that's what's happening with this book. This book, you know, the thing that was probably were the most

exciting for me. I have a fifteen year old who has never read any of my other business books, but he read this book cover to cover and read it on a plane flight and he turned to me at the end of two hours and said, well, Dad, this book shows how you can become a millionaire starting at nineteen and I'm only fifteen. So if I do this, I could become a multi mulpen. And I was like, you're right, you could. He's like, well, then let's do this.

Let's set up a retirement account for me. And so now fifteen, he wants to have a raw th ra A. Well, I couldn't get him to read any of the other books. I couldn't get in Blake. So I think stories have a profound ability to change people's lives. And it took me ten years to to go from an idea to fruition. That has to be extremely rewarding for your son too, for it to hit him like that and be that into it. You know what, I gotta tell you something.

It's like the most rewarding thing I need that's ever happened to me in my career. And I have two sons. I have a fifteen year old and I have a nine year old. And the nine year old when he started, when he heard his older brother all excited it about this book, and I'll motivated. She turned around and said, well, I want to read it. So he's nine, he's halfway through the book. Happens to be I'm actually, I'm actually doing this with you, and I'm in my son's room

right now. The book is by his bed. He's nine, he's read half of the book. He's told the teachers about it, and he already gets the fact at nine years old, that the lock factor is a metaphor that's not about giving up your coffees. Because he said to me the other day in the kitchen. You know, Dad,

I don't have a lot factor. I don't drink coffee, he said, but I have a v buck factor Now for those who are listening who have no idea what a v buck factor is, that those are the digital coins you need to use in order to buy things inside video games Minecraft. And so he says to me, I have a v buck factor and then he goes, Wow, Dad, I wish I had all that money back that I wasted last year on v Bucks, because if I could put it into these investments, I could have a whole

lot more money. Later, hear you on that because my husband spent so much money on those iPad games, and boy, I'm like you just you literally just peeped all that money away into the universe. And I'm like you, honestly, when we talked about it, I was like, you could have bought your motorcycle with all that money that you spent on your in app purchases. And it's just it makes it makes me sick because we have I think we have a very different um habit with I guess spending.

And so it's hard at times because I'm like, that money could have gone to your motorcycle, or could have gone to this, or it could have been to our house, or could have gone to Julie's you know something. And I don't know, it's just it's very It's like what do you do with that? How do you go to right? Like and go you in the in the Lawe Factor, what's happened? Like Joe Daniel, her dream is she wants to chance to travel. She's ironically she's a travel writer.

She worked for travel magazine in the book, and she's never traveled. She doesn't even have a passport. And and as she's these mentors, they start to point out to her, like the amount of money that you've been spending you you know, if you just saved it for two or three or four months, you'd go in your first trip.

And she also wants to be a photographer, but she's not taking pictures, and they and they start to say to her, like, with this amount of money that you're spending, you could start taking pictures, you could take you could go take a class on how to be a photographer. So a big part of the lessons, like when you're talking about, is most of us are not consciously thinking about how we spend our money. But the problem with that is everybody is consciously thinking about how to take

our money. So like those video games that you play, they're designed to stuck money out of your pocket, right that that's that's what they're intended to do. Everything that we do on social media in between seeing our friends, is an ad designed to separate us from our hard earned dollars. And we live in a world today where we can just be on our phone and then five

seconds later click on something and spend money. It's never been easier to spend mean unconsciously, and so the core message of the Latte factor is actually looking at what's most important to your values, your dreams, and then consciously spending money to get you closer to those things. So what do you do when like there is there is that difference in spending in a relationship, So like how do you Is it just you know, does someone have to bend obviously? Like what do you to to keep

that money? Is it just where is the middle ground? Yeah? Yeah, So, by the way, I've been where you are. I've been in a position where I've fought about money with my wife, and years and years ago I wrote a book called Smart Couples, Finished Rich, where interviewed couples that didn't fight about money and became financially well off. And we're still married and still happy and still in love. And so here here's what couples of co are successful at dealing

with what I would call the money compromised too. The first thing is you need to agree on a pay yourself first goal, a number you start with. You know someday you're gonna want to have money for the future, and you need to agree in order to do that, you have to pay yourself first. So what percentage of your income could the two of you agree to take off the top and pay yourself first? I would tell you it should be least ten percent of your gross income.

But the two of you should talk about that, Like, let's agree on that so that that money is taken right off the top and put away into a retirement account. That's number one. Number two, let's agree that. Well, let me ask you a specific questions. You guys have children. Yeah, we have two kids. We have a five month old and a three and a half year old. Okay, so do I don't know, do you have an insurance policy to protect you in case one or both that you

die right now? So that's done, so you're taken care of. Like, because there's all these questions that like couples need to think about, like is your family protecting Great, you've got the will, you've got the insurance, so that's good. So then it's like who else the size retirement? Could the two of you agree on that you want to save money for that you could both be excited about. Well

Mike wants his motorcycle college for our kids. Well no, but he's saying like that's already set up, you know, like our retirement is insurance. Yeah, yeah, yes, yes, we do have that set up. Look at you guys, you're doing so much right, So we're good, honey, that's spend spence. No, but we did. I will say this though. I did send an email to our business manager, which is very huge because I have a very hard time talking about money.

It makes me very uncomfortable. Um, but I I I said, I set a meeting for when we're back in Nashville because we're moving to Nashville, you know, and hopes to save money and you know, from not in l A and basically where it's like, Okay, how much are we spending a month and where can we not overspending the months? So it's like, so we're not spending crazy amounts of money and we're able to try to save and then

put into those investments, you know, portfolios that we have. Um. I think that's like kind of what you're saying about figuring out like what's kind of left and how to like pay each other out. Yeah, And I mean you see, you have a business manager, so they should be tracking where your money goes. But another thing the two of you can do is you can also like put an app on your phone that will prap where the money is going, so like mint dot com or clarity money

dot com tracking where the money goes. It is a really useful thing to do, especially when you're a couple. You can kind of get the end of the week and go, you know, where the money really go. Once you see where the money is going, you can start to really think through like do we need all these things? Are there some things that we could change that we're doing? Um?

Because I think the most important thing as a couple just to work as a team and don't let the money fight fester, Like the moneys fight usually are over stuff. And I always start to get couples to focus on the bigger picture, which are your values and your dreams, your goal Like a smart a couple of finish churches. Basically you can read. Honestly, you can just take that book and read it and you can sit down with

the financial plan or do it yourself. Write down all your goals, write down all your values, and work on it as a team. But the kids that you want to work at it as a team, because you don't, the fights will continue. How do you determine, David, whether it's whether you're a married couple or an individual. You know, you talk about um focusing and prioritizing and things that are important for you in your life and your well being, but how do you you know, I feel like people

I know myself just from my personal experience. You people can find a way to rationalize or justify something to themselves. Would have come to purchase. Okay, yeah I should give up my coffee, but I really need my coffee or I really like my coffee. Like, how do you determine really the hierarchy of of what's important and what you can cut on? It's such a good question. Um, here's the thing that's so hard for for some people, not everybody, but for some people. Ball it's to imagine your life

twenty and thirty years from now. And the amazing thing about money is that well that not even money. Time you blink your eyes and you're twenty years older, right, Like I remember being in my twenties and we had you know, I was I was a brand new financial advisor and I was in training and we had a sixty one year old financial visor was getting ready to retire, come and speak to my training class. And he showed us his chart. It's absolutely the back of the book.

It's the first chart in the back of the book, which is about the Camp Miracle compound interest in starting early. And he said who in his rooms twenty six and a bunch of us raised her hand. He said, you'll just say five dollars and forty one a day, you can have nearly a million dollars by the time were sixty five, just two thousand dollars a year, and I are a county ay six. And he said, to you, guys, how many of you going out for a drink after

work tonight? And so we all laughed and we all raised our hand because that's the first thing you do after a training class. And he goes, just have one less drink tonight, because because more than five dollars to have a drink in Manhattan. But he's like, just have more less drink and then go back to the office and funds your retirement account. He goes, because I'm sixty one and I'm retiring a multiloying her. I'm out of here.

I'm done. But I can tell you this, most of the guys in your office right now, when you go back to your office and their fifties, they're still broke and their financial advisors, which he goes, is pathetic, but he goes because most financial visors don't do for themselves when they do what they do for their clients. And he said, so all I can tell you is at whatever age you are in this room right now, you're yourself. Ten years from now, he's gonna thank you for having

made a few changes to save more money. And they said, in yourself in twenty years and thirty years, is really gonna thank you, because he says, you don't know it right now, but you're gonna get tired as you get older. You're not going to have the same energy and the same hunger and the same as typically and you're gonna be really happy to turn around your fifties and your fifties and have a bunch of money and some of the stuff that you're gonna need to give up to

get there. It's just not that big of a deal. And that got me, That got me to start investing. I just did an interview right before you with People magazine and the one woman interviewed me fifty nine, and she was reading this book and she said, you know, I love the book. I'm I'm super emotional right now. She's like, I just wish I had seen what was in the Latte Doctor when I was younger, because it seems like it's too late for me now. And I go, but it's not too late for you, fifty nine. Not

too late, But you have to get started today. Like you can't spend time worrying about money. You have to go to work on your money. And then you have to get your money to work for you. And what do you mean when you say that, Well, so most people have a whole lot of money to have money to have in the bank account, right and a bank account earns nothing, maybe earns one percent, So money doesn't grow at one percent. Take seventy two years for your

money to double. At one percent, you'll be dead by then, so money has to grow at a rate that's five percent or higher. And in the lot you've got your book, you know, the mentors go through the different ways to make a higher rate of return, talking about from bonds to stocks and the first five portfolios. And like I was just talking to somebody else who was on the phone with me, and they were like, how can you make ten percent way to return? I'm like, last had

the SMP five hundred. The stock market is done for the last twenty five years. If you if you just went to van Guard and looked up the SMP five hundred funds, that's an index fund, you'd see that since inception the fund is earned ten percent annually. Now there have been years it's done better and there's years it's not worth but ten percent rate to return your money

doubles every seven years. And if you don't want to take the risk of being all on the stock market, you can have a boring, diversified portfolio and those of average So you've got to get your money to earn money. And what when people go, I don't how do how does compound interests really work? What happens over time? Like in a couple of decades. Is that your money just starts making you a whole lot of money. It makes it while you sleep. This is why when people go,

you know, the rich get richer. The rich get richer because their money is making them money. The poor stay poor because what money they have is not doing anything at all. It's making somebody else rich. Right Like if you have a money in a bank account, it zero. It's making the people who own the bank rich. So you just have to do on that. You have to get in the game of building wealth with your money

versus just having your money sit there. Absolutely, and if there before we wrap up with you, David, that's such amazing stuff and I hope the listeners take all that to heart. What are three areas just off the top of that, just real quick that you know that you could cut our listeners like where they should cut? You know where they're Jim coffee, cable subscription, whatever it is, Like, what's the top three that you've seen people will be

able to cut? Okay, the fastest thing you can do to cut your overhead is I would download an app like Clarity Money and take a look at what have you signed up for? Because what Clarity Money will do. This is a financial app is it will show you what you signed up for that our subscription fees, anybody

that you're paying monthly, will summarize it. If you don't want to download a new app, go through all your credit card bills, go through your checking account, and look at what have you signed up to pay for monthly? Because today we have we're paying everybody else besides yourself automatically, so like it could be gym membership, it could be Apple storage, it could be Netflix, it could be you're having a box of goodies sent to you. I don't know what it is, but going through those six expenses

and going what could have change? Because when you change a fixed expense that's fifty a month a year, and that's six thousand dollars over a decade. You do two or three of those and you've just found enough money to start seriously saving and investing. So I look at the six expensive number one, number two, I look at

what is your latte factor. I would go and track where your money goes for for just two days two days, carry pad of paper, spend money like you always do, write it down and then and then added up like people have done this and they're like, you know, I really do spend fifteen dollars a day at Starbucks. And then the question I go, will well quaint? So there's two choices you could make the coffee. You can don't buy Starbucks coffee, right like, you could make it at

home for twenty cents. Or if you're not going to give it up, then you should start to look seriously at investing in the company where you're where you refuse to stop spending money, right like, if you have an issue where you use Uber a lot, Uber just want public, you could own that. You could own Uber, right like

investing what you won't give up. And the third thing I would say is look at a big find a big expensive you could change, So biggest expense that people can change, and were most people are not conscious of this, but it's car expensive. So the average Americans car expense for a new car right now is five three dollars a month, and that doesn't include insurance, doesn't include gas. If you've got storage, it doesn't include storage. So what I've seen is that many people are spending two to

three months a year paying for their car. And one of the fastests you can do to cut your overhead. If your two car families go down to one car. If you're a three car family, for sure, get down with two cars and figure out if you can get your car overhead down, because the car overhead is almost like an expense that we take for granted. We just assume we have to have a car, and we have to have a certain sort of a certain amount of money that always goes towards a car, and we don't

really think about the overall financial ramifications. And today there are a lot of ways to get around without owning a car. And if you can cut out one car expense, that can be the extra time. It's a lot of money, be enough money to help you retire ten years sooner, if you gave up one car in a family, or you went from an expensive car to a chupercar. I love that. Um, that's some really good advice. I'm super pumped about that. And we're gonna I'm gonna go home

right now. I'm like making my list and being quiet over here making my list of what. Um, but seriously, thank you so much, David, and we're um, we would uh, I'm gonna read all your books now because you've got would you say thirteen. Yeah, but it starts to start with a Latta Factor and your for your listeners, come check out the website at the Latte factor dot com. Um. We've got a special big bonus gift thing going on there with like over five or dollars with a special

downloadable bonuses and things. If they join us, we've got a special insider team. UM, and that's gonna go for about another two weeks and then David bo dot com is the primary website where all the books are listed and you can get our friend news letter there David Bok dot com. Awesome. Thank you so much, David, Thank you so much. You guys are so welcome. I appreciate you. Thanks for having me on UM. That's really good advice. Money.

Just want to talk about money, literally literally just irks me. I know it does super good, just because I don't I wouldn't want to spend a penny if I if I didn't have to, I just want to save it all. I think we balanced each other out though, because you got like you get so much anxiety at around it where you would never do anything for yourself, and so you have someone who is a little bit more loss. I fear, which to a fault of mine, I am.

I tend to be that way. Um, you know, I'm I. I think I offer you opportunities to to take care of yourself or to do something for yourself that you deserve. I try to mean you force me like you just force me to buy, because otherwise, you know, won't you won't. All right, let's take an email mark what you got for me. But thank you very much. Jess says, due to blood pressure issues and being high risk, I'm having a C section next week at thirty nine weeks, and

it was not in my plan. I desperately wanted a v back, which I learned is a vaginal birth after c section. Not until I became a father. I had an emergency c section eight years ago, and it was very traumatic. I had a panic attack while I was on the operating table and was screaming and asking if he my baby was going to die. I was restrained, had a spinal tap, couldn't feel my legs. I'm a sexual abuse survivor, and I'm so anxious and so scared. I don't want to feel that way ever again, especially

when I'm bringing my baby into the world. By the way, my son was able to heal and as a healthy, growing little man. I'm an avid podcast listener, and I know that you opted to have your C section, and I admire your bravery so much. I'm just hoping you could share anything with me that will help me feel better. Oh geez. I mean, first of all, I'm sorry that you have all those triggers. I look. I if you listen to the episode where I had Jason, I freaked out.

I had a panic attack. I passed out. They gave me have to like to chill um. I was terrified. I think it's normal, it's okay. The amount of women I felt so stupid after that episode aired because I was embarrassed. But so many women have a hard C section and they freak out. But at the end of the day, like it's traumatic, but just try to relax. I know it's hard to say when you can't feel your legs, because I was freaking out and I probably couldn't relax if we had a third baby. So I

just know that you're gonna be okay. It's such a routine surgery and you will be okay. And put some good music on. That's my advice. I mean, There's not more I could say other than that. I mean, hope that helps. I mean, yeah, she's not alone. Yes, you're not alone. Yeah, you're not alone. I'm gonna be okay, and the baby is going to be You. Guys will be okay, I promise, And doctors have done this thousand times over, so you will be okay, and we'll be

praying for you. And A says, I'm twenty five and I've never kissed someone. I'm totally disinterested in online dating, and every time I made a new boy, my brain screams run. However, I do you have a cross on her friend? And I'd like to see if we could be something. He knows me extremely well, but I can't bring myself to even talk to him but anything of substance. It's all small talk and laughing. He's just as shy

as me. It's like we're in a shy standoff. I can feel a connection, but neither of us are willing to do anything about it. So, guys, what the heck do I do? Stay single forever? Hashtag one year old virgin. It's okay, just just go up and randomly kiss somebody. Ask your friend, just be okay? Do you think you and I could ever be more than what we are. I just say, make out with him, do it, Run up and kiss him. Take a leap. Take the leap. I won't jump off the bridge. Don't be scared of

the conversation. Yeah, you guys aren't gonna lose your friendship by having that conversation. Can I suggest something press I feel you're both so shy. I'm getting an idea that maybe you two have similar interests and if that's the case, maybe you buy two movie ticket to something. And then you pull a thing like, oh my gosh, my friend just totally bailed on me and I got the actor ticket. Would you want to go? Because then it's like no pressure,

it's no big deal. It seems spontaneous. And then you get the idea if he's interested, if he says no, maybe he's really really shy, but it could be kind of a spontaneous, organic way of doing something together. I love that. It's like the best idea ever. And then you just like slide your hand over like, oh sorry, I love you guys,