Wind Down with Jana Kramer and Michael Kaufman and iHeart Radio Podcast.
We have two more days until we're free.
But as you're saying earlier.
Well, no, they don't know what I was saying earlier.
Well, off air, it's going quick.
Off air, it was like doom and gloom, and I'm like, what do you mean we're doing this? Once we said the first three days were really hard, and then it was like we need to, Like because I was talking to my friend pamelin back home and I said, once we set a schedule for each day, like, it just helps everything. I think it helps my anxiety too. I'm like, okay, I know from ten to eleven we're outside, eleven to twelve is lunch, twelve thirty, j just goes down, you know.
And I feel like it's made the days go by a lot faster.
It has what I'm realizing, my tape job on my headphones is coming off with what is going on. What I'm is, I'm like, why does this feel so different? Because we spent so much the last year like not leaving, not doing anything. But I'm like, well, last year we could still technically leave the house, Like I still went to the grocery.
Store and you went to home depot. I'm like, honey, is that essential going down? She's like building this thing for the kids. Absolutely?
Absolutely, And but I'm like, now these two weeks we weren't allowed to go anywhere.
I mean, it's not it's not a recommended, it's a you're staying or you'll go to jail for right six months.
It's like, if we want to run the risk.
I'm dying, doant drink some mon?
Oh my god?
Your so.
Okay? Yeah, we run the risk of someone actually coming to the house and doing like a house call and checking it we're here.
Yeah, oh which, sorry, that just scared me. I'm like, I think they just showed up.
Is your wardrobe guy?
Yeah? So yeah, it's it's been and that part, that part was what was giving me anxiety. But at the same time, there's people online that were like, stop complaining, like we're all in a pandemic right now, We're all can't we all can't leave. And I'm like, that's technically not. I mean in California you can't really, but it's like you're still go somewhere right, No.
One, here's the thing again, here's the difference. No one's gonna possibly show up at your door to make sure you're at home. You have the freedom to leave. Yeah, in theory we could, but we run the risk of getting like a seven hundred and fifty thousand dollars fine or possible imprisonment. I really don't want to do that.
No, and we've already done it like we're used to. I think what I said to someone, I was like, honestly, it's just about the comfort of your own home. Yeah, I know we talked about that last week, but I uh, yeah, I feel like wherever I am with y'all is home.
We do a good job at making that happen for ourselves and for the kids.
And I'm sorry to Peter, but Wednesday we're going to the zoo. I got us lined up to go to the van Uber Zoo on Wednesday, nice little tour. I'm like, well, you know what's so ironically sad about that? What I just thought of it, This is terrible. We're free that day, but the animals are not free, you know. We're like, we're basically the caged animals right now.
So what you're saying when we go to the zoo and we're cast suck at line. We're free.
No, but I feel bad. No, but I genuinely feel bad. Now now I get it, like I'm a we're zoo goers.
We are we are zoo goers, and.
Now I'm oh my god. They live that life every day. They can't roam free, they can't. I feel terrible.
You can all of a sudden become a non zoo goer.
Peta, Yeah, I feel terrible now after we go to Vancouverso yeah, after because I need to get out.
Yeah. So we celebrated Valentine's Day in lockdown quarantine and we made them most of it.
Last Valentine's Day we were also well, it was pretty much like well, we weren't locked down yet because that was March, but we spent it at home. Remember, we made homemade pasta and we ended up having to so last Valentine's Day, Mike was really wanting wanting it to be special because we just kind of went through a little thing last January, and he was just he was putting so much pressure to make homemade pasta and basically it ended up looking like yogurt.
Well, no, I just I second guessed myself because I was going by this recipe, and the recipe was like, oh, basically, you don't have to boil the pasta before you put it in the pot with the sauce. I was like, what that doesn't make freaking sense. But all right, like who am I to say otherwise? And then it's just like doughey, limp noodles.
No, it wasn't. It was one big bowl.
Yeah. Yeah, it was like we were noodles back to their home, which became one big ball of dough.
Oh were those things that my grandma used to make dumplings? Dumplings? They looks like one big dumpling.
Yeah. So we ended up ordering food.
No, we ended up making well, yeah, so yeah, we ended up making or No, we ended up ordering from a place in Nashville. But this so this Valentine's Day, I was like, babe, let's just get pre made noodles, let's get some fasta sauce.
You're lucky we're not home. I'll totally try to redo it and do it right this time.
But it was great. A little bath, a little airwork.
It was a good day.
I wonder though, because a lot of people don't like to celebrate Valentine's Day because they call it like a hallmark holiday.
It is.
I mean, well, then what's Mother's Day?
Appreciate mothers?
Well, then what's Valentine's Day? A day to appreciate your.
Day for making money for all these companies Christmas?
Remember we learned about Christmas what Christmas was when we were watching the Scrooge and we looked at when did Christmas actually start? And was to make money for the companies? Remember when we looked that up. So it's like the same thing. I mean, it's all essentially the same.
Well, no, our question was when did Christmas become commercialized? Right?
But it became commercialized because of the money and right.
But there's still you know, the wise men brought gifts.
Why are men so against Valentine's Day? Like you're fighting Valide?
Because here's the deal. Here's the deal. It's not really a if you.
Say here's the deal twice or like more serious, No, if I.
Say it three times and I'm really serious. So here's the deal. It's they don't put a name on it, and it's in terms of Mother's Day or Father's Day where it's one specific person. Right, But the way society has been it puts the pressure on the mail to have a you know, give a great gesture of love and the women just naturally are the receivers of that, and it's like false. Wait a second. You get your birthday, you get Mother's Day for your mother, we get Christmas anniversaries.
You're telling me that we have to take another day out of a month and say, hey, honey, here's all the stuff to show that I love you.
Because you don't have to be money. You could just write a nice handwritten card and say I really value and love you and you're my Valentine.
Mark. Done good.
Yeah, I've never asked for any gift on Valentine's The only reason you got me last year was because you ruined Christmas and got me a biday for Christmas.
Okay, some cultures, that's a win.
Mark.
Can you back me up on this? Do you feel more pressure that's next for you? Do you feel more pressure as a male for Valentine's Day? I do.
First of all, I'm very much enjoying the show. I was muted, but I was laughing out loud. So I just wanted you guys to know that I think that they're all Hallmark holidays. All holidays are made up, so I don't see why one is more than the other. So I don't know that I can go with you on that, Michael. No one really knows when Jesus was born.
They just picked a day.
But yes, there's a lot of pressure. And I have an issue because my wife's birthday is two weeks before Valentine's Day and it's all right after Christmas, so it's like three under row bam bam bama. So I gotta plot it out. I gotta start planning, and I got to, like, you know, I have a list in my notes section in my phone where I can like organize what goes to what birthday and what goes to Valentine's Day and what goes to Christmas.
Otherwise I'm going to be out of luck.
Welcome to being a woman. We have that, I have that, like the whole year planned out, like Father's Day, that his birthday. I mean, that's just what a woman does. And I'm proud of you that you even have that, because I have to be like Mike, write it down. I would like it.
The last time I did that, I got her bed day and she hated it because.
I didn't ask for it, did you kid? Oh my God. I literally said, we're going to go back to you, Mark, but I know joke. We were at a friend's house and I was like, ooh, this warm seat feels really nice. You said I didn't want nice as my main gift for Christmas.
Your driver to pick and chooese. I'm the gonna give it. It was just the warmth of the seat.
It wasn't that I don't like. I don't even use the spritzer. I don't use the spritzer. I just like a heated seat. I like it. I like I like a good old heated seat. But I didn't want it for Christmas.
And so the only said a lot of money on that one, Mike, I don't know, because then I ended up paying having to pay for it to double down this last Christmas too.
Oh it needed to be spectacular.
And I killed it.
So it's okay, no, but that's the thing. And this is what I told him, because we actually got into a huge fight about it because he's like, I was like, you, what you don't get and what you're missing is that it doesn't matter how much you spend. I mean, sure, diamonds are great. Every woman loves diamonds. I was like, it's the intention, the intent and the intention behind the gift. He got me this thing from probably uncommon goods. It probably was like maybe a hundred bucks, and it was
the most thoughtful gift I've ever gotten from him. It was like it was a Chicago map where we met. It was like a little heart pin and I it was just like, Wow, that's so sweet, and I'm like, I love that more than the diamond this you gave to me that I wear once, you know. So it's truly for women. It's about the intention, and I think going back to Valentine's Day, it's just about appreciation and telling that person you appreciate them and that you love them.
That you don't have to do grand gestures. But sure, I'm so sorry that we get four things out of the year to show that it should be every day and that.
You should Valentine's Day and that of course defense rest.
No, no, no, you're no no. What I'm saying is like we should have we should have every day. You should show us that you appreciate and love us and write little sweet notes. But can you at least do four out of three hundred and sixty five or however many days there are in a year.
Well, we don't get actually better when we do do more than.
That, Sure you do. We're a lot softer and nicer. What are you laughing at, Mark.
I'm just enjoying this. This is I mean, because you make really good points. You both make a really good point.
All right.
You know what, Mark, I'm going to put that to the test in the year twenty twenty one where Valentine's or we already did Valentine's and I had no choice but to be just sentimental and cheap. But move forward Mother's Day, birthday, anniversary.
And I'm not saying you have to be I'm just saying, like there's.
I'm gonna go super inexpensive and just sentimental. And guess what one of those days is going to be a lottery pick where she's gonna get the grand slam of no material gift. All she's gonna get is eye contact intentional words. I'm saying, Honey, I love, I appreciate you so much, and that'll be your gift. It's got to be written down.
Already down to you like you sound kind of like you sound kind of arrogant right now, like you got it at least like like I said, frame it, you know, and I did that and it was amazing. It was my favorite gift. And I still haven't.
You just said, you said, how do I sound arrogant?
Well, you just sound kind of like like we don't deserve I'm gonna write something down and make a card.
I'm not saying that that's part of it. I'm saying, if you really think there's no material isn't behind it?
For Valentine's Day? No, I don't think so. For a birthday? And for Christmas, yeah, I think you know something nice, you know, if that's what we agree on. If not for like kay, let's just do the deck next year, then we agree on it. But I'm not that girl to say I want a deck for Christmas, you know, like most couples say, like it's our couch. I don't want a couch for Christmas, you know what I mean. I would like a nice pair of shoes. I don't want to be like, well we had we spent a
lot of money on the couch this year. When you buy yourself ten guns, you know. Anyways, I rest my case, and now we're gonna get comments of how materialistic and whatever we are.
No I think you make a good point. I think it's a combination. It's got to be sentimental. But gifts are nice. Everyone loves getting gifts. Valentine's Day, Birthday, Mother's Day, the four days a year, guys have to step up. I think that's the message.
Yeah, And that's the thing. I have no issue with it. It's hmm, or don't.
Sound like you have an issue, like you get.
Four days out of the year.
Where I have the issue is when at times women will say, oh, it's not about this, it's not about that. I just want to know I'm appreciated. I don't know it yet, No, no matter what it is, and or even we even said who is it? Your brother? Your brother and his fiancee. They even said, hey, don't get it. Don't She even said, don't get me a gift, and he said okay. And the day come, he didn't get her a gift, she said, and she got him with
she said, what the where's my gift? He said, you told me not to get you a gift.
Well, that's different. I've never told you not to get me something.
I agree. I'm not saying you have I'm just saying women in general, this Yeah, that is a thing out there where if men, if you and I agreed, hey, let's not get an any you know, get each other anything for Christmas. As a guy, I'll be like, Okay, we're not getting each other anything for Christmas. You knowing you, you'd probably still get me something.
Of course I would, because I appreciate you. That's the thing. It's about appreciation and being like I appreciate you. Whether it's five hundred dollars or five bucks, it's showing appreciation.
But what if we agreed not to get each.
I still think you still get something small? God, we do so much like we do, We do so much, and we all we get are four days. Some only get three if they're not a mom.
You know, well anyway, two each their own.
I would like to start throwing myself half birthdays now, just to prove, just to prove my point of appreciation. We're going to celebrate my half birthday.
Bring it. I'm ready, all.
Right, Mike intro, our amazing guests for today.
All right. Speaking that doing too much, this is a lady that knows how to do too much successfully. Miss Nicole Walters. She was a former employee for a Fortune five hundred company, decided to leave that company and start her own business and became the CEO and founder of her business, which is called Inherit Learning Company, you know, in that she specializes in UH business development training, strategic
coaching for emerging entrepreneurs and established business owners. So we're going to have her on and let her teach us all about that and pick her brain.
Yeah, they also have a show her and her family. She's called She's the boss on USA, right, and the girls that she has they're actually adopted. So I'm excited to hear about that story. And then I also want to ask her to she quit her job like on like online basically, I mean in front of people.
Yeah, just kind of like I'm curious.
To ask her that. So we'll take one more break and then we'll get her on.
Hello.
Hi, I'm so sorry we made you wait? That are okay? I apologize, I apologize, I apologize.
Don't be don't even I'm the person who's like, please don't send me gifts because I'll never send you thank you Notes's let's just own who we are. It's a pandemic, you know.
It's so funny about the and like we can just let's just go right into it. But thank you cards. I'm terrible with thank you cards. Yes, I like, can I just text you?
No?
That's the thing like if kids' birthday parties, I'm like, I don't have the time. I feel bad, but thanks for the unicorn for my daughter, right right exactly.
I'm always like, why are you even putting me in this position? I need thank you cardless friendships. I need you to understand I don't want that pressure, you know, because it's it's the layers to a thank you card. It's I need stamps, I have to get to a post office. Well why stamps? Like what is that?
I well, And here's the thing too with that is I'm like, when I get a thank you card, it doesn't do anything for me, you know. So I'm like, I just I personally am like, well, of course you you're thankful that I you know, like you don't need I'm like, I'm always and I say to my friends, like, you don't need to write a think you card? Like do not write a.
Thank you card? Yes, it's pressure because.
I'm like and I'm like, it's just wasteless, and like I got time to I got to open it. Up.
I compare it to ringing the doorbell, right. I always make the joke like if you ring our doorbell, that means you don't belong here. You walk in. You either know the door code or you just walk in. So if you send me a thank you card, we're not friends. You don't know us exactly right.
It's like, honestly, whenever I get a card, I kind of recondo it. I'm like, I hold it to my heart and I'm like, Okay, sentiment received, and then I throw it in the trash, Like what am I supposed to do with this thing? You know? I know, I get it.
I know we're getting super off topic, but it's kind of the same thing. Even like I love doing the Christmas cards, but we don't have anywhere to put them, so I just feel bad like putting people in a drawer, do you.
Know what I mean? Like their whole family in the drawer, every single piece of it.
Yeah, that's the one that even this past year, I was like, Jane, we need like one of those little decorative like trees to put it on, because that's the one. I do feel bad because I know we go and actually these pictures and people put effort and pay money to have them professionally done, right, And so I'm like, yeah, I don't want to be throwing in a drawer money and think.
About it like I have to buy furniture to display your photo at this point, Like I mean, if you don't put me in that position, you know what I mean? This is supposed to be a relationship of depth, Like what do we do except it virtually where I can then add it to a nice little folder, you know what I mean, post it on my page, let the world know how cute, and then we move on with our lives. Like it's what it is. I get it, you guys, get me listen.
Thanks for coming on our show already. You're just I mean, you're a total boss. Can we just back up for a second though, because I mean, we insured you in the very beginning, but you quit your job online.
I did live in front of ten thousand people because were you?
Just like I'm done, drop the mic, like what did you like?
What was your classy? Like? I was raised right, just like I don't show up at people's houses unannounced, you know, you know, I was like raised right. No, it was a situ situation where I already had built a place for me to go, so like I was going to hire myself, Like I knew that I had a thing out of myself. Yeah, I had a plan. So it was really just I called my boss and I said, hey, you know, this isn't an alignment, you know I'm It
was actually people don't know this. It was right before a performance review, so like my annual performance review, and he was like, oh, I'm so excited to talk to you about all the cool new things for that coming year. And I was like, pump the brakes on that because I'm not going to be here.
And that was that I might have if I was in your shoes. I ought to wait for the performance review just to get that validation, right because you know, you probably you know, you probably killed it. Like Nicole, you are amazing. We can't we see our future with you. Thank you so much. By the way, I'm.
Out right right right right. It's like, oh, well, it's really funny you say that because I'll be transitioning all my logins because yeah, I'm not going to be here.
So what made you want to do that in front of ten thousand people? Like what was that?
Wow? The incentive so I mean, like, obviously you've had the people who are like the flight attendant to like, you know, dispatch the emergency thing, and it wasn't one of those. Like what it was was I'd been detailing my journey online already, so like people saw me building the business and getting clients and like I was already sharing that. And so the truth was I wasn't planning on sharing my quick day ever, Like that was not a thing. But I told everyone, Hey, I'm doing it today.
I'll be back later to let you know how it goes. And everyone was like, no, no, no, no, no, keep us on the line. We've been following the journey. We want to watch it live. So that's what happened. They end up seeing the whole thing.
I love that.
That's very crazy.
It's crazy.
And now you have a show. That's when is it airing? It's on USA, right.
Yeah, it's on USA. It's airing on February twenty fifth at ten thirty pm Eastern on USA network.
Okay, and then you have three three kids and they're adopted. We read that right, So you did you try to have kids and you didn't or was it just adoption? You always wanted to do that and that was just your route neither.
So we had pretty much said to ourselves, we're not even going to try until we're I'm like thirty two, you know, let's hang out, let's be married, then you know, get stuff done. And then we actually got our kids by we were driving in Baltimore City and we met a woman on the side of the street and she was panhandled. I'm so serious, like she's panhandling with her
with her three year old. And so we were talking to her and she mentioned she had two more kids at home, so we were like, well, maybe we can help mentor get you guys some groceries. And long story short, we found out she was going to jail a year after that, and or not a year, I'm sorry, a month after that, and we said, okay, well what's the plan with the kids and she said, I don't know,
and we said, okay, well we'll take them. So from the moment we were on the side of the street, thirty days later, we had the kids and we still have them and now I'm mom, not mentor wowntids. Yeah, so we had it was a three year old and eleven year old and a fourteen year old all girls sister, Oh my goodness, Oh no, I'm not. Absolutely. I actively try to keep them from licking outlets, you know, I
like I criticized even the fourteen year old right. Literally, kids are trying to kill themselves constantly, and like you know, I'm always criticizing their eyebrows because that's like a family value. So I'm very as a mom. I do the best I can.
Don't lie, eat right, and make sure your eyebrows are makes so you.
Get it, so so you get it clearly.
Are you in Are you located in Baltimore?
No, so we move from Baltimore to Atlanta, Georgia. So I'm now like officially Southern. I use y'all periodically, you know, I fit.
Are you from the Baltimore area?
I am so like I was born and raised in DC, went to Hopkins and like you know, my husband's University of Maryland, that whole thing. But I'm a Southern girl at heart, like entirely like love country music, love like all. Like I was the girl at the front row of a Chris Young concert in Richmond, right, black girl cow. I had singing every lyric and people are like, what are you talking about? You know, but I'm like, you don't know me. This is my life.
So give our listeners kind of like your elevator pitch of what your business you started and created is.
Yeah. So when I quit my job, I basically quit because what I realized was my friends who were bloggers and New York Times bestsellers and on TV and all that they were doing a great job doing their craft, which was writing books or being on TV or writing their blog, but they were trash at making money like it just they had no corporate skills and frankly, they weren't supposed to be. And a lot of people beat themselves up because they're like, I don't know how to
profit from my skills for my gifts. I just know how to do the thing I do well, and I know that I need or they're all smart enough. Most of us are smart enough to realize I need more money coming from different places, but we don't know how
to do it. So that's what I do. I opened up an online school called one K One Day Academy, and basically that's what I do is I walk people through education courses much like college, but it's like the stuff you actually need, where I show you how to do everything from building online store to sourcing it with products to opening up a business bank account, just like the real skills you need to have. So that that way, if you're an influencer, you're actually getting paid.
That's awesome.
Thanks, It makes a lot of sense.
It does.
And it's like, you know the fact that you know it's attainable too, you know, oh totally. It's helping people the steps of what they need to do to you know, get ahead, to get ahead.
Yeah.
From yea from a motivational standpoint, let me ask this at kind of asking for a friend here, someone who who wants to start you know, more of a passion project business. And but I find myself where my friend finds themselves questioning, like having days where it's like one day you're more motivated than other days. You're like, are people really going to get this? Do they? Is this really something I want to do? You know? What what
do you tell? You know, your clients and the people you work with, like, yes, believe, continue to believe and get it going.
Yeah, so I know that for a lot of people. The way my brain works is it works corporate style, right, so it's more tactical and less emotional. But what's great is that translates into action. So like odds are for you or your friend, Like you know, it's a situation where I wonder if my idea is good enough. Well,
the reality is all ideas usually have a home. I mean, if you think about it, Steve Jobs, when he held up the iPhone, he didn't invent something new phones existed, He just took buttons off of it, you know, like little tweaks can make a whole new thing. So what I would tell that person is, instead of comparing yourself to somebody with big brand ideas who's super accomplished and has already hit a million dollars, just realize you can start small, like you literally, just launch it small, see
how it goes, then expand and make it bigger. Oftentimes we just say to ourselves in our brain, it's not going to be successful if it doesn't blow up right away. But the reality is that's not how ninety nine percent of stuff in business doesn't work out that way. Everything starts small first. So though odds are, you can do it. If you think you can get what one hundred sales, ten sales, you can get a million of them. So start small.
I love it.
Yeah, what so the show that you're doing, what what can people expect with that? I mean, especially like your dynamic with your husband and tell us all about that.
Well, so my husband's not a cool kid, right, Like, he doesn't look like this in a hat. He's a round Jewish lawyer, kind of shaped like a bowling pin. But I'm into that. So it works. You know, it's like it works out well, very hot, very hot. I'm into his brain. So so that said, our show is a little bit of both sides. You know, I'm a working mom, right so I'm spending time in the office, I'm on stage. I have these top celebrity clients. I'm
building businesses, making a multimillions. But then I go home and I can't get my kids to shower regularly. You know, I can't get them to get their lives together. I can't get my you know, eighteen year old to move out of my house. You know, I mean these are all the things that every mom deals with. And it's hilarious to watch. You know, someone who people think is a boss, you know, not be in charge of anything.
So get home and just get owned by everybody else.
Owned totally owned. I mean, I go in and I was just joking. Yesterday, my nine year old comes to me and she's like, so I have to write an article about a famous African American for a Black History Month. And so I'm of course coughing, like famous, I'm black, I know. She looks at me and she's like, yeah, no, I know, Like I know you're an African American, You're you know, but what what are you even famous for?
Like what would you even be famous for? Like she was really like in my face, and I was like, you know what, it's fine, it's fine. What's famous? She was like, well, you don't even have a billboard. Even the kid at the dentist has a billboard. I was like, you know what, you know what, that's fine. So this is what my life is like what I mean, it's like that.
Well I can't wait to watch it, just to see my future because the other day, Jolie just turned five. She's like, I'm five, I can do whatever I want. And I'm like, oh god, here we go, and.
Of it, the reality of it, it's like a regular They get into this I know that phase where it's like I know things because in their brain. They've been here forever at this point, Like, it's not a baby is three, you know what I mean? A baby's not five. But I'm like, I literally was fishing your turns out of the bathtub like five minutes ago.
Yeah, I watch you ask yesterday. Now all of a sudden you can do whatever you want. Like, all of a.
Sudden, you can do it everyone. That's not how that goes, Like, are you kidding me? But you know, it's the joy of parenting.
Where can our listeners find you? Because I want to see more of you too.
Oh you're awesome. You can definitely find out more at Nicole Walters dot com. But I'm all over Socialist Nicole Walters and you can listen to my podcast, the Nicole Walters Podcast.
Oh my goodness, I love you. I'm excited to watch your show. Thanks for coming on. And yeah, excited to excited to watch the show. It's gonna be awesome.
You're the best. Everyone can watch February twenty fifth, at ten thirty pm on USA Network.
AWESO, Thanks Nicole. We appreciate a big times.
Bye bye, Hey Mark, do we have any emails?
We do?
We have some nice emails here and This first one is from I believe it's pronounced janil je n i la janil. Recently, this past summer, my sister opened up to me about her marriage and the issues they were struggling with. I thought they were making progress, coming to find out, over the summer, my brother in law said he could not stay in the marriage any longer and left her and the.
Two kids at home.
He even started speaking to another woman, but he didn't say anything wrong with that because he was just trying to find himself. Long story short, they've been working on their marriage. They've began couple's therapy, he stopped speaking to other women, and he moved back into the family home. My struggle is, how do I move on from the pain he caused my sister? How do I move on and forgive him for leaving his kids and his family and thinking he was doing the right thing. Janna, how
did your family ever forgive Mike? Did he ever have a conver with your family after everything that happened between you two.
I'll go ahead and start with this. Yes, I did have many conversations with you know, Jana's family, pretty much everyone in her family at some point, and it was very, very difficult. But here's the thing, and this is what everyone in Jana's family told me when I would talk to them about these things. They say, look, we're not
happy about this right now. Obviously we don't approve of what you did, Mike, But at the end of the day, we love Jana, and if Jana chooses to love you, then we'll choose to love you too, or we'll choose to support her in loving you. So they just watch Jana. They just observe her. They feed off of her energy. They and you know, as the time goes and we have more and more moments together around the family, it gets more and more comfortable. People will realize, Hey, you know,
we can do this. We are doing this. I don't have to be defined by my past actions, and now my relationship with all of them is fantastic, probably better than it's ever been, you know, from a connected standpoint for sure, with everybody. So yeah, that's what I would have to say, is just look at your sister and feed off of her energy. And it's your job as her sister too. Yeah, speak your truth, but also to love and support her and her decisions. And this is
what she wants. Then you got to learn to deal with that. Now, if he hasn't talked to you, you do have the right to talk to him about it and express your feelings.
Yeah, I think you have a right for that. And also on the other side of it, he didn't do anything directly like, yes, he hurt your sister and that's wrong and that's bad, but he is not your husband, boyfriend, lover, like he didn't hurt you. So sometimes if you bring in that negative energy to your sister, that's going to affect your sister's thought process with things, and that's not
fair either. Is this making sense, Like it's it wasn't a personal attack towards her, and so to not don't take it on as a personal attack.
Right, But it's almost I make up that it's almost harder, right because if you're not directly affected, you don't have that that confusion of but I love this person, but they hurt me type of conflict like you know, like maybe you have or you've had in the past with me where it's like she just sees red or she just sees enemy because she wasn't directly right, so you.
Know, but it's also not her place too.
It doesn't mean she has to go, you know, shooting from the hip and causing shit. But it's almost easier to be angry.
It's easier for It's almost one thousand percent easier for her to be angry. But I just want her to remember that, you know, the best thing you can do for your sister is just show support. And also if you have feelings and he hasn't talked to you, then be like, hey, is it cool if I have a conversation with him, because it is a personal thing, it is your sister. But I also like, try to remember that it's not your life. That yes, it affected it, it's.
Something affect indirectly affected.
But it's not you weren't directly affected. I feel like I'm being insensitive, but I hope you guys know what I'm.
Trying to say now. It's just being directly versus indirectly effective. And at the end of the day, it's not Janille's life. It's her sister's life and decision. So she can have her thoughts, she can have her feelings. Janille can she can you know, express them in a healthy way, but it is her sister's decision. It is her sister's life.
And you're going to have to. You know, you don't have to like it, but if you want to be comfortable, you're going to have to, you know, Like, I'm sure there's plenty of times where my mom, you know, did not like Michael, but she's still tried, you know, when she's still put on the happy face because she knew that I needed that of her. So now if it continues to happen, then of course you have to have tough love. If you're like, I can't have this in
my life anymore, like I you know I have. We have a friend whose sister keeps staying in an abusive relationship, and she's like, I can't keep watching you go through this. That's it, you know, when it continuously happens, that is affecting your life more and you sometimes you're like, I can't, I can't have this. I can't be in front of him knowing this is happening. So do you have anything else?
This is from Danielle Jenna. How do you deal with your anxiety and ways you cope since the pandemic. I've noticed I've been getting more anxiety, and I've been trying to find ways to deal with it better. I just had my second baby, so I've been home a lot with my family and my husband. But I'm longing for the days to get back to normalcy, aren't we all, Danielle preach.
Yeah, I hear you, Danielle. And it's been it's been tough. I think what I have to. There's been a few things that I've done, even here in Vancouver, when I started to get anxiety. I don't know if you're religious, but a lot of times I ask for God to take away my anxiety. To help me with it. I do grounding exercises, so I either count five, four, three, two one, or I literally count my fingers all the way to ten. I'll go outside put my feet in
the grass. That's a grounding exercise, and it just kind of brings your body back to reality, back to here, back to what's not in your brain happening. Also, another grounding exercise is if you're in a room, listen to things like what's something that you notice right now that you can hear, or that you can see, or that you can feel, and that again grounds you, takes you back. Meditation is really helpful therapy if you do emdr and it's really good for anxiety to kind of bring up
things that you're needing to cope with. Maybe that's more trauma underneath, and then you know, get juju with it and get some oils in.
Lavender and yeah, just Danielle, honestly, you know, go to Google.
Tell someone too, by the way.
Go to Google and just type in search for like mindfulness exercises, and that's just a way to again kind of like Jana saying, getting grounded, but it's a way to take your mind and focus it on things that are in front of you right in that moment, rather than things that are outside of your control.
Yep.
And just know that I would say I'm fine, I'm not dying, I will be okay. And sometimes the best thing that I've ever done for myself is when I do have an anxiety, I say, whoever I'm with right now, I'm having an anxiety attack, and the second someone comes in and helps me, or Mike and he's like, okay, like what are you okay? Like what do you need to sit down? I feel better knowing that I'm not alone. So hope that helps. All Right, Well, guys, I'm really excited because when.
We talk to them next week, we'll be free.
Yeah, me too, And the animals will still be stuck at the zoo, but we'll go wave and say hi.
We'll free them all. Catch us on the knees.
When we free all the animals, we'll be at the Greater Vancouver Zoo letting go of all the monkeys and the tigers.
And then in prison.
So see you guys next week.
Later