Wind down with Janet Kramer and I'm heart radio podcast.
Guys, tell us I like it when Kramer comes in fresh.
Oh, she tried to break up with me again.
Amy, Oh, may because she thinks you're healed. Well. It was actually a really beautiful moment. So it was this is I'm like, this is what happened? Okay, I set the scene, so I was also I was twenty minutes late because my so I don't have full time help. I have a sitter that comes two to three times a week for five six hours, and the sitter was running late, and so I texted Amy saying, Hey, I'm going to be twenty minutes late. But it was one of those where I was driving there, going I really
don't have anything. But sometimes those are the best sessions because then something comes up. Right in two weeks prior, I was I don't even know if I should share this story and not share the story. Oh, I'm gonna go for it, okay TV So every time, but Kat was witnessed to my breakdown. I feel like I have a few times every few months. But so two weeks prior, because I've been going every other week to therapy, so twice a month obviously duah. And so.
The last time, I was like, I'm depressed, you know what I mean, Like, I'm just like so.
I was like I think I might be like, you know, actually depressed. So she even read me like the check lesson. I was like, no, no, no, so you know, and I was like, okay, well I guess I'm you know, I'm not clinically depressed. I was like, I just I don't feel happy, Like I don't know, I just am like I feel like I should. I feel like I should be happy right now, Like what's wrong with me? Like do I is my supplements off? Or do I need more testosterone in my injections? I'm like, it's like
something feels off. And so we made like this collage and that helped a little bit, which I've never clauged before.
I be gus, I've done that before. I love it.
Yeah, I've never done it. I've always seen people do it, yeah, but never done it. And it was it was nice.
I liked it. I enjoyed it. It was nice, it was lovely, it was lovely through it in my trash like you know, I wasn't a moment.
I'm sorry. I didn't even know, it was like because it was a bad moment, I thought it was just like that was lovely.
I was like, I was sitting in my car, like I'm not going to hang this up, you know what I mean, I'm not a college like a single house. You know, where do I put my Where do I put this big child's high school like poster? You know you wear Cramer and where in your closet that, yeah, you don't reminded of it? You know what I'm going to I'm gonna get a clause. I'm gonna put it right. And maybe I'm actually making right now. So I'm personally
offend to continue. I'm making a vision board collage. Okay, I'm not doing an imposter board this time anyways. So, but what the problem was is I was feeling a little slumpy, and you know, I kind of go up and down in like my career slumps and like what am I doing? What is what is the purpose I'm even serving? And you know, so I go into like my career, I'm not living my dream. We had a lot of noise in the back of our house, so
I just my house is like my sanctuary. I wanted to be nice and quiet and peaceful, and there was a ton of noise, a ton of dust, and they were knocking down all these trees and it was just loud for two weeks and I kept telling Alan, I was like.
I need to I just I need to get away.
And I had kind of been mentioning this four day break because like, Mike has the bigs for Labor Day, let's go somewhere, you know, maybe we can go to California. And this was like months ago, and so he and then so then the two weeks before, I was like, hey, let's go to or a month before, I was like, let's go to the lake. I just need to be around water because whenever I'm starting to feel a little off, I'm like I need my center place. I need to go to water. So we like going to tims Ford.
So he's like, leave it with me. So I'm like, okay, I'll leave it with them. But then, you know, two weeks before, a week before, I'm like, hey, things are kind of like running out out here at Tim's Ford, you know, and he's like, leave it with me. So come Friday of Labor Day, you know, at this point, I had therapy on a Thursday, and then that Friday, and you know, she was just like she's like, she's like, I have you hung out with your friends? I'm like no,
She's like, what about Cat and Kristen. I'm like, well, I only I see them and then they leave. You know, it's like we don't have time to like hang out in chat and catch up. I'm like, are you gre and I got canceled that week. It was just like all and like one week, I was like, I'm missing the fun. Like Alan and I are both so busy that we're not even like being able to connect by the end of the night. We're both tired and you know. So that's why I really wanted some time just us
together without the bigs. And obviously we have Roman, but like, you know, he's easy. So when Friday rolled around, I'm like, all right, you know, where are we going? Because he
said leave it with you. He was just like, well, you know, I'm sorry, I've just been really busy, and I just like I went in the other room and I was like I just started to cry because I'm like I just I felt for the first time, like a claustrophobic feeling in my own house and I hadn't traveled since the honeymoon, which is like I have never not traveled, like you know, I've usually traveled by that point,
and so I don't even know. This is such a long story, but you know, I come out and I'm like, you know, I'm just really disappointed, and I said to leave it with you, and you know, it was something I really wanted to do, which is why I mentioned it, and I would have planned it, but now it's too late, and and I was like, I just need to go for a walk. I just need a minute to myself.
Was it a double at that point? Because I think something we share is wanting to control a little bit too and like just not we are very used to doing things ourselves and more than capable. So is it a double like disappointment and well like I to get pick it up? Yeah, Like I really wanted to go,
and I would have easily bookedshared. You know, it would have been done and we would have been leaving at you know, Friday at five o'clock down to the you know, or four o'clock to go check in, you know, and I know he's busy, but I would have had no problem. You didn't have to say leave it with me. I would have loved to have actually checked in a couple of times, and I was still leaving it with you, and then I left it with you and you just
left it. Yeah, yeah, and so you know, but I also it was a good moment for me because normally in the past I would have just like been really snippy, let it ruin the whole weekend in past relationships, and but I just I went out to the living room. I was like, I need to tell you that this
really hurt my feelings and I feel let down. And I've told you what I needed and left it with you, and so I went for a walk aside, I need a walk, and bless him, he like comes meets me on the walk and he essentially laid out three plans like okay, because in the middle of a talk, I'm like, like we could have gone to Nantucket or Cape cod like somewhere just like fun, and like, you know, like I just needed to get away, you know, I didn't feel like coming.
I didn't see it coming anyway, just somewhere fun, like we can just take Roman and go.
You know what I mean, like just fun, good for you. And so, like you know, when I said Nantucket. I could just see him be like, I think we all need but.
I've never been.
I want to go back.
I actually want to Tucket.
Let's go.
So you know, the guy doesn't even doesn't even live in the United States until like last year.
Where is that.
I don't think he knows at But yeah, so I'm like saying all this, and again I wasn't like I was not being mean or whatever. I just was like expressed because I was like, what I don't want is to hold onto this and men us have like a fight over the weekend or something. So I just say, I go for a walk, and then he meets me on the walk and he's like, okay. He's like, we can leave at this flight. We can go to Miami West Palm or whatever, and we can leave it, you know,
six in the morning. And mind you, this is like seven o'clock now on a Friday. We can leave Saturday at six in the morning. And then he's like, but because the flights are all gone hashtag Nan Dugget and he's like, or we could fly up to kate Cod and then take a boat over it an entire like he had it all planned out, and I was like
I love you for even looking at these options. Having said that, it is now seven o'clock on a Friday, I now feel anxious to just pick up and at this point go to Nantucket or like, yeah, buddy, well we had four. And that's the thing too. I don't love being home when I'm not with the kiddos like that long. So usually when it's more than three days, that's when I'm like, hey, let's go somewhere because I just I don't I don't like to not have them in the house.
That long without like being here. So that was like another reason.
But still we had you know, I was like, even so like that last minute packing things, I don't want to rush this either. I'm like, I was like, babe, I think what I just really need is like I just want to have fun. What I want is to be able for us to just go have it, eat something different for dinner. I mean, we have we have the same thing every night, watch the same thing. It's it's so rinse and repeat that. I was like, I just got to get out of the house and we
just have to mix it up a little bit. I just need to have like a little bit of fun and you know, He's like, well, okay, maybe we can just do a stay case somewhere and I'm like, yeah, if it's if it's for one night, then let's just grab a sitter and let's, you know, see if someone's available for one night. So we found a sitter, we went to The Four Seasons and it was I was like, that's all I needed was just to get out of the house for like a hot minute date my husband
and just like have fun and eat different food. And it was like the most amazing point. I don't know why I started this conversation.
Fired from you tried you almost got fired again from oh yeah, yeah yeah therapy. Yeah, so you know, no, there was something else, guys, this is it definitely started with starting.
With that, well you were depressed, trust that's right, So that's what So yeah, last mane lots of girls. So but to come having said all that, this is like a major squirrel moment. But it was I needed to have more fun and I'm curious, I'm going to throw it back to you and them and go back to the amy conversation. But is and once I had it, it was great. It was the best, and it's was
we had so much fun. I had, you know, lots of nature, but in this season in my life, I was like, that's just what I needed to just spice things up. Is there something that you girls are needing in the season from your partner or is it great? Is it like do you need to do you need some solo time? Do you need like I know for when I was, you know, telling you Cat, I'm like, I need girl time. I want to hang out with my girls. Like Queendom is like, you know, so far
everyone's doing their own thing. It's like it's we miss I missed that piece. But I feel like I was able to have a great moment with Alan to just like shake up the monotony. Which it's not bad to have that like routine, but I just needed a little bit of a shakeup.
We just did it.
We went to Denver last weekend. Our anniversary was last week so happy anniversary. Thanks nine years in the music industry. Feels like dog Gears, we really have nailed it. But I said, I think I just need like a day with you. So we just honestly I want I had bad naked all day. And I know when you say you have you need your days. You need a naked day. I just needed naked. Whatever day it was naked Friday,
we just I you know, like we got there. It's like sometimes we'll get to a city and it's like do you want to go get a coffee or do you want to go do walk around? I said, I don't want a retail store. I just want rest. So we watched The Perfect Couple, So good, so good, and we ordered room service and we did get dressed later and like we went down and had like just really us kind of dinner, like we're leisurely, like have a couple of bites, have a drink, have a couple of bites,
have a glass of wine. People, And it was wonderful. And I just felt like we had been there for four days and we were there just for one day. But I needed like connection. And even the minute we got back home, I felt it like it's just being pulled in a million different directions, like we farerapist Anna, our couple service told us at one point we have always done really well. When she calls it the piano room.
The night that we met, and it's when the world, when the world starts to come into our world, is when it just gets scattered in heart. I think that's for anybody. So it's like sometimes we just need to go and date. Yeah, even the kid obligation at home is beautiful. Yeah, I'm not a girlfriend in that setting, and I like to be a girlfriend.
Yeah, well all know I'm a little bit different. But I mean for me, like my alone time comes first. I mean in the sense that's what I'm missing when we're every which way, but also that has not been as much lately as I need actual family time. So we are constantly I'm with one kid, he's with another kid,
and another kid is somewhere else. For me, the way we connect, or at least I connect best is when we are all together as a family, traveling or just sitting down for dinner, which is a luxury these days because I don't I can't remember the last time we just all sat down for dinner unfortunately. So that's kind of what I'm missing in this kind of because we're just every which way.
But I also just love that love being in that so but I do it.
Is it's so quick and I'm already I'm definitely feeling that right now, so I'd say that, but I'm also definitely missing like the friend part of it. Also, it just feels so you look at the calendar and it just feels so impossible, you know, when you get past all your obligations, and I mean we're doing a decent job of it in the last you know, a couple of weeks, I guess, but at least trying.
But yeah, I think sometimes it is the impromptu is better. Yeah, like the invite out for like Saturday. I'm like, yeah, this is what I'm talking about because you can make sense. It's like looking at the calendar feels overwhelming or well, and it's.
That was kind of a thing where, you know, we had missed Pam's birthday along you know, like what last month, I think it was or two months in August. She actually canceled it, right, but like in a sense we still kind of Yeah, she had canceled it.
She'd been traveling.
Everyone's crazy, right, and so I had kind of reached out and it was like, you know, I would still love to do something, but it's just so hard to find a date. And so Nick is actually out of town this weekend, and so it just kind of and so I was like, you know what, I'm just going to say, We're going Saturday, whoever can go, and then we're just gonna have to start doing this and do
it more often and whoever can go great. Otherwise the texts become okay, no dates worked, and then nothing ever happens.
Yeah, and so I think that's.
Kind of like the new way to kind of do it in a sense, if we're ever going to make it anything work, you know.
Well, and to like, you know piece. The other part of the beginning section is once you fill that cup up that is so dry, you know, you start to feel a little bit better. Like for me, like once we got back from just that one day, or we went hiking somewhere different than just walking around the neighborhood, it was just like I just felt lighter, I felt
you know, hot, like just I felt good. And so when I was going to therapy, I you know, she's like, all right, catch me up, and I'm like, I really don't have anything.
I was like, yeah, I was feeling a little low.
But I just had to change my scenery up a minute, because that's helpful for me, Like I always have to have something that's what's next, what's coming, and then you know, a little change of scenery and you know, at the very end, she goes she's like, I don't want you to read too much into this or get upset. And I was like, oh my god, you're breaking up with me. She's like no, she's but she said, you're not in
crisis mode anymore. She's like, so, I don't want you to feel like you have to come every other week. She's like, you, you're at a place now where you are at the top of the whatever it's called, where you have the self recognization and the healing and the growth. She's like you, She's like, you can space your visits out more. She's like, you can come again as much as you want. She's like, I'll be working for the next twenty years.
So she's like you.
But she's like, if you just want to come once a month or every month or every other month, She's like, I want you to make that decision. She's like, because she's like, you don't have to come every other week anymore.
I'm like, but also, I was like, that's I.
Know that good time.
Yeah, Okay, it's good news.
I feel like you have to Yeah. Yeah, So it was kind of felt nice.
Yeah, it's also just like wonderful to just be wonderful for a minute. Yeah, and just know that Okay, things come in, but what are where's what's the toolbox of things that I can bring in to go?
All right?
I'm feeling a little like like when I'm not working or I feel sad or something. I for me, it's nature. I got to be outside and I need to go out and have some fun.
Yeah.
Well, and I even said it to you last week. I was like, you have do you want to go walk in like a park? Yeah, real park, not a neighborhood because I park today. We're going to walk in a neighborhood. But I just A'm like I'm missing like
the fall does this to me too. I think it's the Midwest fall piece of me where You're like it's crispy and the air gets cooler and it just feels cozy, and I'm like, I really just want to hear birds and maybe like see a deer, but you just seein my own air for a second, and not be in a neighborhood. I get tired of the beautiful but nature. Were you going to say something okay in the park the you know, speaking of not being able to have it all, you actually can't well. According to Canyon, we've
got Stacey Schroeder Clark coming on. She is from vander Pump Rules, and she is a two times New York Times bestselling author, and she's got a new book out called You Can't Have It All The basic bitch guy to taking the pressure off.
Let's get her on. How are you good?
How are you good?
I'm Jana, This is Kristen. That's Catherine.
Hi.
Hey, thank you guys for having me.
No, thank you so much for coming on. We're really excited to talk to you about all the things I feel like. That's just like, is that like the word of twenty twenty four? All the things I know?
Because you know what it perfectly encapsulated.
It can encapsulates like a certain like what you mean, you know, it's like hard. It's like you know, when say it's giving something and people are like, can we stop saying it's giving?
Or like or the I always say, you know what I mean. It's it's really you know what I mean? And in all these things I say you know what I mean all the time, but I'm like, you know what I mean?
Right, Like you need someone to clarify that they understand what you're saying, right, Yeah.
Exactly, And you guys, there's none of us are dealing with just one topic at a time right now. That's our world and that's actually all the things, and it's giving us overwhelmed life very much. So Okay. The book that you have is called you Can't Have It All. It's released September tenth. What was the main goal for you in writing this book? Like, what did you want people to know from this book?
Honestly, for I started selfishly writing this for myself after I had my two kids. I was just like, well, actually, after my first kid, to be honest, I realized, oh my god, this whole thing that women are constantly asked about, like can you have it all? My whole life, I thought I was going to be this woman that's like, yeah, you can have it all, you can do all the things. And then my kids just like made me realize, oh
my gosh, I don't think I want to. I think, like, why are we striving to be the best and want more in every single category all the time. It's exhausting and it's not the way that I want to live. And I started writing about it, and the more, like friends, I talk to or like, you know, other moms that are you know that like I go on play dates with, or just like random people that I spoke to they were like I feel the same way. I feel the same way, and it just felt like something that people
were talking about. So then I just wanted to get it out there.
I mean, that makes total sense. I guess my question to that is what would you want right now that you that you don't have? So you know, you've you've got the book, you've got a successful career, you've got beautiful you know, beautiful family. So what is it that you want that you that you feel like you can't have in this moment.
I don't feel like I'm wanting for anything right now, maybe some rest, a nap.
I'm wanting to just like sit a little.
I think. You know, I'm often asked and I bet you're probably often asked this as well as like so what more are you working on?
What's next? Like?
What are you?
What are you?
Like?
What's the next thing? And why isn't what I'm doing right now? Just like enough? There's always just this feeling of like we should be onto the next and doing more, and like I'm over that.
Right, I guess what I'm trying to get to is I'm almost like, because we've had this conversation so much, I just had it in therapy too, where I'm like sometimes when I say I love being content, but then that's also content, it's a negative and a positive thing for me. Right, So I'm like, I feel positive being content, I feel negative being content just depends on which mood
I'm at. Right, So when you say, like, Okay, you can't have it all, but really like right now you have it all and it's great and you're happy with where you're at, but.
I don't have it all.
Like I you know, I could be a better wife, I could be a better friend.
I could respond to.
You know, my family's texts more. I could you know, socialize more, but I don't, Like there are areas of my life that are that are that are lacking a little bit because I'm it's on other things.
Yeah, Like, you can't be perfect in every single aspect of your life.
You can't fill all the cups of everything of being like in this season, okay, I'm like you said, I'm not the greatest friend or whatever, like where I got to return this So it's like the cups aren't always full.
Yeah, absolutely, I just don't see. I don't I've never thought that that's possible. I mean, that sounds terrible, and I think that that is and has a negative I'm glad y'all talk about it, because I don't feel like I've ever had that conversation with anyone and would admit that. I don't think that I could be perfect at everything or great at everything.
I just said the other day that I feel like I'm doing eighty percent of my life seventy percent. Well, yeah, I'm just not nailing it right. But also I'm too tired to like go all in in any other areas right now.
But I think that's kind of your point, ye, like why do we have to be why do we have to be great at every single thing?
You know?
Like that's that's just not reality. I don't think.
I think it's just the book. Really. I hope that people read it and feel like.
Ugh, I think that too. I feel that too. I get mom guilt about that too.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah, social media makes me feel insecure or like I should be doing this a B or C. And I hope that when people read it, they give themselves grace and kind of just feel like, yeah, you know, like.
G it, I'd love that attitude.
I'm not really out where I am at in my life, so it took me a while to get there, but I'm about there.
So let me ask you this, did this start of this like pressure off movement for you? Did it start with the release from vander Pump or did it like when did the shift start for you?
I think, you know, twenty twenty, also with COVID two, and then also just like having kids, it's like everything happened at once, and you know, during COVID, we were just like stuck at home, and I had tied so much of my like self worth in how much I was working and accomplishing.
You know, I grew it.
Was like that growing up. Like however, you know, the more I did in school, the better I felt about myself. And then during COVID, I had to I wasn't allowed to do a lot of things. We none of us were, and so I had to find the joy in the little things in life. And that's also helped me realize that like oh, like striving for more and constantly wanting more and thinking about what more I can do isn't the way I like want to live all the time, Like.
I want to find the joy in the little things.
Where is that for you in life? Is it with your kids? Is it with your family? Is it within working? Like what is the where does the most of the joy for you come from?
Oh? No? When I say like little things like obviously my family is like my children and my husband one hundred percent, But like it can be something so insignificant as like having an iced macha just like that tastes really good at three pm and just being like it's really relaxing right now and I'm like really enjoying this and I'm being present.
And it's just like life's good.
It's like, oh a show came on that I don't have to wait another week for it. It came all out at the same time, Like I get to.
Binge it over the next three days. Like what a glorious life is that? Like it's really just like specific little things.
Like being on this podcast right now. To in your book, what was the hardest chapter for you to write that were you struggle in the not having it all area?
Well, the hardest chapter to write was the chapter about mental health because I was. It's something I really haven't discussed fully, like at length, and it's dark and I felt really vulnerable, and.
That is just that was tough.
It's even hard to like talk about it in a podcast or like talking about it with people. I think it was It's like, Okay, wrote it down, it's on paper, It's out there, like people can read it and hopefully feel less.
Alone or connect with it. And I'm like I buried it or like I've put it to bed, you know what I mean.
Was it from a specific incident, like from being it was it on the show or like social media? Was that where the feeling of the darkness came from? Was it connected to that?
No, it's heavy, It didn't come from the show. It's just something you know, I've struggled with certain parts of you know, my mental health since I was eighteen years old, and you know, there was a long period of time that I engaged in self harm and that something that I wrote about finally at length.
And that's what that is.
That was difficult.
Yeah, I mean to be able to write that, I mean there was I can kind of relate in a small way. When I wrote my book. It was when I had to do the audio recording of things was it was really hard to write in the book something things that I've never shared with anyone, but then to have to say it. I mean, it took me like a few times to be like, I don't actually even want to read this part. Can someone else read it?
Because it's it's hard to go back there, especially when you're you know, you're you're at where you're at right now, and it's those memories are are tough to to go back to.
Yeah, that's so funny that you say that because recording the audiobook, Because when I recorded this one, I had to force myself to just have zero emotion, Like I had to make an active choice to be like stoic, I need to just get through.
This and just read it. That's it.
I'm not going to try and feel it. I just want to get it out there. It's just something that's just really hard to talk about.
Yeah, it's very brave of you to do that, Thank you, And it's also really needed. And I know that that's probably really hard. But like I think that this perception that comes with Instagram, like you're saying like we're taking the pressure off, is because when we can get a little vulnerable and realize, like people as stunning as you, as talented as you, with like family, can experience something
like that. Like that's the bravery we really need, especially in a book that is about like just actually enjoying your life for five seconds instead of us like consistently chasing after something. Well, you know what I think is an interesting piece too, just like from hearing you know you share that and then you talking about it is the things that I have a hard time talking about. I'm now questioning why what is it?
Is it shame? Is it like?
And what what peace? Do I struggle with sharing? And like cause it's like I don't talk a lot about my domestic abuse background, like you know with my abauty it's and I'm like, is it shame?
Is it fear?
Is? And like and I'm like literally thinking here, I'm like, why why do I struggle? Like every time in an interview I start that's the one that like I have a hard time talking about, or I'll start crying or I'm like what what piece is that in that? And I'm like and I don't I don't even know which one it is? Is it shame? Is it fear? Is it sadness? Is it broke? I'm like, I don't it's it's I don't know. It's an interesting thing to to open.
Up all of it.
It's all of it.
And then there's also just like it's the feeling of like being like humiliated, like ugh, it's all of it.
Well, And I do think as you get older and you heal and you identify things, you start to build a more of a protection around them for yourself, so like you don't want to be hurting yourself all over again by going back into it. I think part of it is a beautiful protection that we create for ourselves. Like you know, I mean it's been twenty years since I was with my abuser, and it's like but it's almost like a sadness for the little girl, That's what I'm saying, you know.
Yeah, yeah, that's so interesting.
I think it's just beautiful. Though. I'm really proud of you. I just want to say it one more time.
Thank you. Sorry to bring down y'all's vibe.
It's never no no, this is our vibe the real time.
This is the real talk.
Yeah.
Do you wonder so you're going back into reality world? Right? Is that true? We're allowed to know that.
Correct, Yes, I can't way details, but yeah.
Okay, well we also like detail.
I really want you personally, I know.
I heard a rumor that you maybe you've said it, I don't know, but I read it or heard it that you turned down The Valley and I personally love The Valley. That was like the one show that I actually really got into. And then I started to go, Okay, who said this? Who said what? And I'm trying to now peace now I want to go back to watch the other shows. But I really did enjoy that. And then you know, I also, you know, heard other things and like, are okay, are you close with you know, Jackson,
Brittany because they're all out there. So but then I like feel bad asking those questions because I'm like, I also hate it when people dive into my personal life.
So so you're gonna look at me and ask me.
I don't know the answers, but I'm like, where do you stand with like your certain castmates.
No, I don't really talk to the two.
I have some you know, some friends who you know, we're still on Van or Pump Rules and stuff like that, but you know, the Valley wasn't for me. I like knew it in my soul that it wasn't going to be for me.
Yeah, well hey, we got to listen to that.
So is this an instant yes, when you got brought this opportunity? Did this feel more comfortable? Was this like a I can do this.
I wasn't bad the opportunity. I created the opportunity.
So it feels that's good for you.
We love we love that move.
Create it for yourself, that's right, paid by you.
Absolutely, that's also how you guard yourself. Well yeah yeah, and make it what you needed to make it to preserve your joy and all those things you worked so hard to have.
I love it. Okay, So what's okay? So this is next?
We've got the reality show is next, and everyone asks what's next? Right, so I know that we hate that question.
By the book that's next. Bye the book, Bye.
The book, which is out now right?
Yes, So what is your favorite chapter that you wrote in the book.
I would say the girl Failure chapter because I feel like failure is such a scary thing for all of us, and it sucks when it happens to us.
But failure is like really.
The main place where there's an opportunity to be either who you want to be or be something different, do something different. Because when you're just like you know, on top of the world, you don't think to change anything because you don't want to rock the boat, so you kind of just stay where you're at. But when you feel like you're at a moment of failure or rock bottom, like that's when magic happens. So like, I think that's my favorite chapter.
Yeah, no, I mean I one thousand percent agree with with that piece. Like my biggest, most favorite lessons were when I was the most broken and at rock bottom. The rebuilding that's when you grow, and that's when you that's the planting of the new seed is what my therapists always you know, talked about. So I love that piece. All right, well now I'm going to read the book. Sorry, MoMA three. As you know, it's it's hard balancing it all because I.
Can't have it all, so I can't I can't I can't do.
It all, so we can't read the book.
Yeah, yes, yes, So I mean last question, like, as you know, as you're juggling things, what is it kind of your tip for the moms that are also juggling all the pieces too.
Oh you know, I think that you don't have to be doing it at one hundred percent, you know what I mean. It's okay if you like, give your kid a cake pop for breakfast, It's okay.
Those love cake pops around here. The birthday cake pops at Starbucks are our jam. So if you've ever tried to make them, don't try now through that Starbucks drive through.
Awesome.
I love it all right, Well everyone, you can't have it all the basic bitch guye to taking the pressure off as available now.
Thank you guys so much.
Thank thank you so much for coming on.
Y'all have a good day, all right.
I totally knew what you were saying about the what's next? I feel like it is always the question. She did like start it being like.
Yeah, well, then I wanted to be like, what's next, and I was like, well, crap, or I can't ask that question. I was trying to see what else she had on the horizon. But I get it, Like, for instance, it's a very good example. Like when I went out on my own to start working with you, everyone would ask me, where are you going to get new clients?
Are you going to do this? What's next? Where are you going to do?
And I finally I was like, no, I'm great, I'm happy, I'm glad, I'm happy with what I'm doing. It's just a natural question. Again, I asked her the same question after talking about it. Everyone wants to know what you're doing next, and so I understand where she's coming from where it's like, can't I just be doing what I'm doing and not have to have something next and have to have something more?
I wonder how many brides here on their wedding day? So when are you guys gonna start having kids? Not hearing me from the question exception, but you know, like it's it's that chest engage, engage, when's the wedding, you're married, when's the baby?
It's kind of just society though I don't think it's anyone's intention.
But I think that's also probably why that anxiety fills in the people that feel like they always have to have something. I always have to feel I have to have something. Yeah, you totally, So it's like.
A well, I think that's why this title can be a little triggering for some people, because a lot of people really love the you can do it all, you know, And so I can see where that's a little difficult for what she's saying, because working moms don't want to be told they can't have it all. But I don't think that that's necessarily what she's saying.
Yeah, I think, And yeah, it's tough. It's a tricky one because it's like, I definitely agree with what she's saying, and at the same time, I'm like, you can have it all, but it's you're not percentagely equaling it out. It's basically what she's saying. So it's exactly then, you know, the title just makes it a little hard.
Yeah, in my opinion, it's kind of like, wait, wait, wait, you're telling me I can't work and have kids, you know, but that's not I don't.
Think yeah exactly, I'm going to read yeah, Yeah, I'm going to let you know, I think yeah, because I definitely think it's one of those things where you know, when I when I look at it, it honestly depends on what mood I'm in, right, because sometimes I'm like, I can't have it all. I can't I because today's you know, I've got a I had so many things happening and I'm like, I can't physically fit in everything I need to do today. Nope, So I can't have it all today.
Yeah tomorrow, I'm going to feel like I can have it all today. Like I just I have like that positive and negative feeling for it when it comes to having it and not having it, and then feel that way with a fresh ships right now, Like I'm like, people are like I want to go, Like I have a sweet girlfriend that wrote to me was like I would love to go get lunch, and I'm like.
October, like I don't.
I would too, like honestly twenty twenty five, Like I just am like I don't even and it's hard that I'm but it's a weird. I also, I'm just prioritizing having a minute. I don't like rush, I don't.
Like to stack, and that's where we can't be one hundred percent in every aspect.
That's where I can't have it all. Yeah, exactly to her point, So everyone go grab her book. It's available now. You can't have it all