Jana’s Holiday Away

I felt like this would stress you out. Yeah, okay, Um, well, we're having there, like we're having some sort of like really severe weather. But it's crazy because in Moscow right now, it's thirty five degrees. In Detroit it's like thirty two degrees, and here in Nashville it's negative one. I'm sorry what, I don't know what's happening. We got a tiny bit of snow, just a dusting and that's it. So we have nothing to report other than it's just really really cold.

So I've been Sarah Bryce called of me obviously, and she was just like, you're gonna be stuck in London forever. Why would she do that? And so I've and then my dad's like you know, it's the airports are shutting down. So I've just been a little I'm not gonna live. I've had a little anxiety today just because I'm like and Sarah's like, wait, when do you come home? And I go, I come home on Christmas Eve? And she says,

you're cutting it that close. I'm like, well, I don't get my kids until noon on Christmas Day, so I figured I would be fine. You're I promise You're gonna be fine. We don't have any snow and we have sunshine. You can see the sunshine. Is this the coldest Nashville's ever been? I mean it's the coldest it's ever been since I've been here. I was just texting your girlfriend of mine in Michigan today and I'm like, there's no I mean, I don't I would remember us going to negative.

We've never been negative. Yeah, I don't remember that either. That's crazy. Okay, well are you ready for Christmas? Like? How are you doing? Um? I really am trying to pretend like I want to participate in this small talk, but I'm like, yeah, okay, so tell me. Okay, so we're not in this. I'm gonna let me lead this podcast for two seconds. So Hannah and I are not in the same location today, not because of weather, but because of answering arm and San Diego and where in

the world is Diego today? She is live from life. I am live from a place that's like a few hours away from London, Okay, And I know, joke, feel like I have been living the holiday. I mean, I swear to you. It feels that. It's so funny too, because I had mentioned that on when I was flying here. Everyone's like, I hope you find your jewe law. So have we found the jewe law? I'm not answering that question, Okay. Um, well, I hope that they used the video from this footage

because that the smile on your face says otherwise. And that's fine. Listen, it's been You know. What's so interesting is I called you the first day that I was here, and you said something to me that it's honestly, every time I thought of it, it's made me emotional to think about it. And I'm gonna butcher what you said. But it was so short and sweet and simple. But it was like travel far enough away to find what did you say, like travel far enough away to find

you find yourself. Yeah, it's not. I did not make this quote up, but it's like literally one of my favorite quotes. Both my kids have it on a travel map and it says travel far enough, you meet yourself. M hmm. And it's like literally one of my favorite quotes ever because I remember some of my darkest times, like divorce. I had a job where I traveled a lot, and I remember the tears from Corpus Christie. That's what I called that little segment of my life. But I

literally just you're so alone when you travel. Sometimes times you're never alone, but then you're so alone, Like you can be on a plane with a thousand people and still just feel like really lonely if you're in your own you know heads. So I was like, let's just use the opportunity of travel for you to at least just find more parts about Jama. Yeah, and I think

that's what's been the most. Just like you said, like when I was traveling this past summer, I have and you know me, you've you've known me since I was you know how many gosh, how many seven eight years now eight years eight years at least because we were pregnant, were was before we were pregnant with the girls. Yeah, I don't do alone. And the last you know, I think divorcing, like I was forced to be alone. And I don't think I really got comfortable being alone until

earlier this year. And I think it's been the greatest gift that I've gotten this year was because I mean even just when I is running on these like country country roads out here, you know, against Sarah called me and she's like, aren't you scared? Like you're just like in the middle of nowhere on these country roads, And I go, you know what Sarah I said about a year ago, two years ago, five years ago, even when

I was happily married. I yeah, I would have been scared running alone out here, and I go, I have never felt more safe and just like peaceful like I was. I could have ran a marathon on those little country roads because I almost like my body just didn't even want to stop. It just felt very just like I don't know, there's something about just truly just being alone in the open and in a new place and just exploring and like like you said, and he said that quote,

WHI is like finding myself through it. It's been such a beautiful thing that I think that's been the journey of like shifting. You know, obviously I came out here to see someone, right, but to have a lot of time also to myself has been and just really affirming to me that it's a It's so filling for my soul. I also think there's something too when you said not

being afraid. First of all, I think it's fair to say we need to stop answering the phone for Sarah Brice because I just don't feel like I love her so much, but she is just not helping the anxiety. Yeah. The best thing too, is like we're going on in a girl's trip in January. Sorry, you couldn't do it. I already asked you, you you said you couldn't go. But I love that publicly. I like that we cleared that up publicly. We had to. We had to clear publicly.

I did not not invite you, and actually invited all of queendom um. And so you know, Sarah is coming with me, and she's like, if you think that I'm going to be running in Tijuana by myself, I go, Sarah, We're going to the Bahamas. Like, first of all, we're gonna stay on campus, you know, like, yeah, we're gonna stop. Respectfully, We're gonna stop. Bryce, if you're listening to this, we're gonna stop answering the phone for Sarah Brice, Um, who

I am now effectually changing in my phone. Her contact information now says chicken Little. So we're gonna be done. Um. There's something to what you're saying. And I know that you and I both really deal with anxiety a lot, and I've read so much about how anxiety is sometimes just getting ahead of yourself and your own brain. And I think when we feel like, listen, there's something to

your own intuition and feeling safe. Like you and I both grew up in Michigan, Like I'm not gonna walk probably downtown Detroit at two am by myself feeling I get it. He is actually intuition in a little bit legit. But like in so many instances, I think the unsafety that we feel is not unsafety. It's just anxiety. And that's just from us not living presently in our own bodies. So when you're out running and you're like, well, first of all, running it is just so wildly it just

puts me so in tune. It's like my heart rate, my anxiety, my thoughts, my feet, everything matches for the first time. But I feel like when you're doing that and you're so present in yourself, that's why you can feel safe because you're in alignment for the first time in a while. And that's been this year for you in general. I feel like, yeah, it's been it's been

really great. And it's also something too. I remember when I was flying here because this is the first time flying somewhere by myself with you know, a long distance. Never this far. Ever, this is far. I mean that's an eight hour nine hour flight, right, Yeah, it's eight there and nine back. And so I did, like I had some anxiety, a little type chest you know, Amy Textama. She's like, this is just another kind of thing that like you're going to prove to yourself that you can

do it. And it's like, I know, Amy, but I'm not on medicine anymore, Like what if? Like that was blah blah blah, and so I just kind of started to go on a little bit of rabbit hole. And then I was on the plane and I was like, Okay, I did what you did, Like I got the little the eyemask and and everyone was like, how did you deal with an anxiety free flight? And honestly, the one thing that I did was so I cocoon, like you said. But what I realized was, and you know, I always say, like,

I'm not alone, there's God us. Having said all of that, one of the things that really helped my anxiety this trip was I talked to people. Literally, the guy next to me, I was like, Hi, how are you like? My name is Janna. It's nice to meet you. And instantly I was like, I'm not alone. I've got Gary

next to me, and like Gary is cool. And then on the train, on the little car ride to baggage claim, you know, I met this beautiful family from Wales and had a conversation with them, and I just started talking to people and I'm like, I'm not alone, like because in my man I'm like, well, what if something happens and I'm alone and no one's here and I'm anxietly It's like, no, I'm not, like I've I just met this beautiful family and this couple over here, and and

even in the moments where i'm a I'm like I'm okay.

And so I think just like reassuring myself. You know, yeah, I feel like this this and listen, I'm not like going to go crazy on this, but like social media, media, the news, like all these people have created this and I'm not saying they're completely wrong, but I feel like we have created this anxiety written society where we're like everyone it's like we assume everyone is like it's like assuming everyone's guilty until proven innocent, Like everyone is an

AX murderer until they're not. And it's like you like, there's really a lot wonderful people out there, Like there's a lot of Jannas of the world. All we have to do is just kind of like say hi, or like you learn someone's story. I kind of like use those I use those little instances in my own brain.

Is like I had to do this during cm A week because I sometimes feel lonely in CMA week, which is ironic because I'm surrounded by people, but it's a lot of like fakeness in our industry and it's a lot of um insincerity sometimes, and so I use these like I frame things in my head like a scavenger hunt to like find the reason I'm put into places or situation. So like I was looking for lighthouses this year. That was my thing. I was like, I'm gonna, I'm

gonna hug a few lighthouses. I'll sign them. But like I feel like in travel like that or just anything, there's a reason you're put where you're put and up. But he needed your smile, or somebody needed your sentence, or somebody needed you to like, you know, pass an

extra sugar or whatever. And I feel like we just sometimes forget that humanity has connected a little bit more tighten it than we think we are, and we're so afraid of everybody now that we're I mean, listen, don't give out your number, Creamer, because I know you that person you met, Gary's probably coming to Easter with us. And that's fine, I know. I feel like sometimes it just doesn't have to be, Like it's just so good to remember like we're we were all made and created

to connect to each other. We're made to like lean into each other and to learn from each other, and we get in our own little like isolation bubbles, and that's not good for anxiety. People and people do want to like they do want to smiley face like you I want you know, like everybody wants. I want to be Gary come home. So tomorrow I travel might start my travel home. Right, So it's, um, I've got about a three two and a half hour drive to the

Heathrow airport and kind of close. I'm just kidding, totally kidding. UM, So I'm gonna I'm gonna you know, start the journey. And then when I get to the airport, you know, I'm starting to Okay, it's gonna be a long fight. But again, it's it's the just remembering. I think, like just knowing speaking into anxiety sometimes really helps. And then also you know, um, for me, beah, my tip is

help talking to somebody else. And then just really I mean I'm gonna get you know, good nine hours to myself to Binge the new Emily in Paris, or you know, just kind of reflect on the trip or write or read and um. And then you know, I'm I'm so excited to see my babies there. I'm just like so so pumped about that, and you know, I'm gonna go home. And I started to get a little sad about Christmas Eve, just because I've been so strong about it. I've been

so like, oh, it's all good. I'm going to celebrate on Christmas Day and like that's gonna be a Christmas even, like everything's all great and like gravy and like positive, positive, positive, And then it hit me their day. I was like, this does suck and this is gonna be hard. But you know, I like I let myself feel those emotions too, which I think is normal and I think you have to like feel your feels. But overall, I have been

I've really enjoyed this trip. I have a feeling I'm going to come back at some point, and m is there anything else tell us about the trip? Cramer? Is there? I think you said something and I know that you know people are coming on for a little bit of tea, but I think what you said the last podcast was protect Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I contradict myself. And I'm like, I know, because you're like tell me, tell me, tell me.

I'm like, wait, no, christ It's gonna love this. I wanna because I think it's true that I again, I give so much that I'm like I don't get a lot to hold to myself. Okay, So I want to

add this. I want to like lump this in for you with Christmas Eve, because something hit me when you said you're gonna be in Christmas Eve by yourself, and you know, obviously you and I are openly Christian, and we celebrate the birth of Christ on Christmas Day, and I feel like, I feel like I just want you to sink into a moment of and I won't get too godly here, but like how scared Mary was on Christmas Eve and how she knew her life was changing, and how the next day there was a birth of

something that changed the world. And it doesn't obviously obviously you're not Mary Um and obviously you all know that one like any other comments about that, but there is something that is changing. So I would just encourage you to sink into, like, Okay, the fact that you get a silent night is actually kind of redemptive and a

little symbolic to me. I think it's gonna be good for you to just sit in it, and maybe you maybe this Christmas just feels different because you just get to soak into what is what is being born out of you and what you are kind of celebrating, and obviously the King, but there's just a lot of symbolic, wonderful little things in there that's pretty poetic to me, and in that you're a new chapter of being protective

of said gentleman. I just really can't get enough. Um, I was privileged enough to face time in and see that dapper gentleman earlier in the week. I want to let everybody he is rather handsome and very polite and wonderful. As Jannah just gulps water because she has nothing to comment. Um, you need in for something, Cramer, but you are just really like what a wonderful way to close out your year. Mm hmm, Like look at your growth And this isn't me fan girling, this is like me just like as

a friend. I mean, I just think of like the depths of where you started the year and how you you're even your relationships with men over the year, and now you're going to fly home. You you took a huge leap first of all, to fly too, like nine hours away, to get to know someone better and give it a real chance and not live in a fantasy of what it could be because it could be the holiday movie. But you got there like boots on the ground, like let's see, do I like you do? You chew

with your mouth open, like can I even deal? With this, and now you get back and you get to you know, decompress and process on your way home, and you get to come home to a cozy house and just really reflect on a silent night and just all the things you've done for yourself, and it's probably your last chance alone for the rest of the year. Let's be real with each other. So I'm just really proud of you. But yes, this is a really fun new chapter. Thank

you again. Like you've always said, these trips are not about even in the summer when I was doing whatever, it's this is I'm finding pieces of me along the way, you know, and getting whole more whole every second. And I truly like I was. I was telling my friend um Rachel the other day, it's just like, my my greatest thing is the lessons in the hard times, like what I learned in missteps, and you know, there's things

that I that I've said wrong or done wrong. It's like, okay, like there's there's lessons in all of this, and I think that's just been Like the coolest thing is to like I you can you just keep learning, you keep growing, you keep finding out who you are and and bettering yourself and and again, you know, just boundering up real hard and what I want and not settling and just being happy because God, life is so short and I just want to have fun and I want to explore

and I don't want to live just anxiety written right, because I feel like for the last thirty years of my life, I've always held myself back from like doing things because I was so afraid that something was going to happen or I would get are just something. And like, I'm so sick of living my life like this. And it's like I feel like this is my first step to go okay, Like I'm not going to hold myself back from exploring my heart, exploring who I am and

and having fun along the way. And I think you've gotten good and really protective too with like who you surround yourself with. Like one thing you and I have in common is we have a tendency to over explain. We have a tendency to overshare um. And I feel like we've meet up hum. I feel like we have

done really good job this year. But one of the things I think is most important about what you've done this year is you've really kind of cut out the noise and friendships too, Like, not everybody needs an opinion on everything you've done. Queendom has been quiet, but not because of Queendom has been has been quiet of other of of things not involving my love life. It's been other things. Use is just all the like that because

I would want opinions. It's like now it's just not even about I don't like queen them in as much to that. Yeah, and I think that's good, Like we're here to all laugh about stuff and make good jokes and like, but ultimately in life, Like I hope people

listening to this. This is one thing I hope people take for their New year is really surround yourself with people that just do not have judgment of what you're up to, can fully support you, can call you out sometimes and be like, hey, I don't really like love this for you, or this makes me nervous, but I think that there's And mostly I say this just because whenever I'm on podcast and you and people when we talk about queendom, people are like, oh, I wish I

had to queendom, and I'm like, but you will. You just have to really start to get picky, like it matters to not have it matters with who. You don't be so desperate to have a friend that you just pick anybody. It's the same thing in love, like have the people that can really just walk it out with you. I mean, this life is so tiny and it is so quick. And I just was talking to Kelly Rizzo actually yesterday mobsag wife because she's coming up on I've been thinking of her a lot. She's coming up on

her first like three six without Bob. So I just reached out and he's like, you know, I love you, and I've just been thinking of you. And it's like, think about where her life was a year ago, m h A year ago she was celebrating Christmas slash Hanka with Bob, and this year she's in Chicago and she's tucked in and she's and I'm saying all this because she's posting about it too, so I'm not like sharing

her business. But like things change so quickly that we have to just like really love who we're with, like your friendships, relationships like fly to London, meet yourself, meet strangers, Like let's like really start to like live this life a little bit. You and I get so trapped in our anxiety and our what ifs, and like I mean, there's a lot of things that aren't going to make sense, and then there's just a lot of things that like we'll figure out the lesson ten years from now or

maybe never. I love that and I think that's a great thing for the listeners to. You know, if there's one thing that you've been wanting to do that's held you back, whether it's take a trip or um reconnect with someone, or just whatever it is that's that's that's held you back, write it down and and and make that be maybe you're you're one of your goals for

this year. That's what I would say. Like the winter solstice, in the darkest day of the year is actually my favorite day of the year because knowing that like encouraging, like things are going to get lighter each day. I just love that whole sentiment, the whole the whole feeling behind it. I love it. Well, what if we what if we adopted that knowing in our own hearts about every part of life, Like we know scientifically things are going to get lighter. Sure, we take a deep breath

and we can rest in it. Like, what if we really take the time to just go like, I know things are going to get lighter, and just like knowing the point where you're manifesting it, you're praying it boldly, like all of those things. London, that trip to London.

It's it's crazy to me that we did a trip to London in the same year because the London trip so many wonderful things for me, for my marriage, for myself, But the biggest thing it was for me was that I had over this last year and I hope I don't get emotional, but I lost five people in eleven months and the definitely gonna cry. I almost made it to the end of the year. Framer money, it's real,

you know, um. But I had gotten so anxious about loss and so like it's not like me to not live, but I just got so like scared to do anything. Like instead of being like, oh well what if I could you know all the what if the good what ifs, I had all the bad what ifs. And that London trip was like I remember we went to Paris for one night, so romantic, right, like who am I this little girl from Michigan And my husband's like we're doing for a night and I'm like, what is happening. But

I remember turning the corner. I've never seen Niffel Tower in real life. I have dreamt of her my entire life. And when I corner and I like it is a picture, it will flash before my last breath. I already know because it matters so much to me. I turned to the corner and I kept my head down because I didn't want to get any sneak peaks of her until I was right up on her, Like I had to be face to face with her, before I could really like absorb her. So I was like in the car

and not really looking around. I was afraid I'd sneak a of our you know. And I turned to the corner and I saw the Eiffel Tower for the first time, and I just thought to myself, how could you ever be so scared you missed this feeling mm hmm. And I never want to be so scared that I miss feeling like I felt. Mm hmm. It's so simple, and that could be anything that could be For some people,

it's you know, going to target. Like there's real anxiety around our world right now for like the scene and the unseen, you know, But I feel so hopeful that if we can push ourselves to just like know and sort what is true and what is being like kind of manufactured fear for ourselves, Like we can really go and meet ourselves and really take a deep breath, really like remember why we're supposed to be breathing, Like, go do the things you want to do, because I never

want to be so scared. I missed something like that ever again Yeah, mmm, I love that. I'm taking that and that's a good again. The people write, write, write it down, write something that you you've been wanting to do. Don't miss the beauty and it. No, I'm just so proud of you for doing this, Like I'm like, that's right. Take the run, don't be spared, don't answer the phone for Sarah, Bryce, keep drinking water. Your flight's going to be.

Like I know, for sure, God moves pieces. I've seen him do it in my life so many times that it doesn't even make sense. So when I think about those as facts, like it's going to get lighter as a fact, it just all feels a little easier, you know, for sure. Well, Kaybe, I love you so much, and um to everyone listening. Right now, we are going to take a little bit of a break and we will be back on January ninth. So um, have the best

Christmas and we'll have an amazing new year. We'll see you next year to just give you all that we can. It's a big year next year, Cramer. It's a big here. It's forty, it's fun, it's fabulous. It's gonna be the best highs and lows ever. We're taking Wine down on the road more next year. I'm so excited. We're adding someone to the panel and wind down next year. Can I say that? Sure? Okay, that's all I'll say. I love that. Okay. It's a sneak sneak peek. Also possibly

another show we'll see. We are busy. I love it all right. I love you so much. Travel safe, cocoon up. Tell Gary we love him. Garry, my little British Airways friend that I met so sweet. And then he's like, I don't think he was very talkative, and that's fine, but you know you can just like press the little thing and it's like goodbye, don't take it personal. And I was like, does he not like? You know? All right? I love you big, I'll see you Merry Christmas friend,

Merry Christmas. I love you. Come home, Come home. Bye bye