Jana and Gen Z

like seven and eight. And then finally my Katherine was like, uh, they're like thirteen in for I'm like now, I'm like okay, now now I know they're fourtune and fifteen. Um. So I wanted to have Ava and Dylan on because we were having a conversation. Well, first off, this is the first solo trip right that they ever took. Um, I've been trying to get them to, you know, come down and visit me, and so we finally talked about it

and I was able to fly them to Nashville. And when we were talking, um, Dylan, it was actually you and I. We were having a conversation and I was just like, God, I'm like so many people, especially not only parents, but like kids or adolescents. Set Um. I know, there's not like a ton of kids that listen to this podcast, which is a good thing, but like you know, just even the things that you were saying that was so helpful for me as a mom and um So I was just like, would you want to be on

the podcast? And then you said yes. I was really excited because I was like because I saw when I was coming, when I came in here to put on my stuff down, I saw like the little like this whole area of the whole setup right here, and I'm like, this is really cool. So, um so, what why would you want or like what part of um coming on the podcast? Like why why did you want to do that? I feel like there's like just things that have like the things we talked about should just like more people

should have to hear it because they're just important topics. Yeah, which and Ava what about you baby? I mean I feel like there's like a lot of topics that kids go through, so like and like sometimes it's hard to tell your parents, but there's like ways that you're acting that kind of shows signs of like going through something hard. So maybe it's like for parents who like listen to this, they can like us from like what I'm saying to see like find in their kids and like see what

their kids are going through. So let's start with that. What is something that you for a parent that the kids acting a certain way? Like what does that look like? Um? I mean for me, like when I'm normally sad or like going through something, I normally tend to not leave my room and I'll tend to just like sit in my room all day and like my go to thing is like I'm tired, like I don't want to do anything, like when I want to do something, but I'm just

like not like just not happy, sad. I'll just sit in my bed all day and not leave my room and not want to talk to anybody. Does it bother you when your parents? Like what what helps that your parents do? And what is something that is like it would be better? And by the way, so this is my niece and nephew. This is from my brother m my older brothers kids. Um and uh, they got divorced real early on, like when we were like babies like

one one and too. Yeah, um, so go ahead. Um. I think maybe like when you're in your room or like when you're sad, like the parents just like give you space and just like respect your space that you're like sad and just want to be left alone, but then also like checking in but not like all the time, just like every couple hours, just making sure they're okay, or like trying to like talk to them and not just completely leave them alone, but not like bother them

every ten minutes. Yeah. Yeah, I feel like that would be like such a balance for me because I'm always like what's wrong, like and it's like to know do you do you say like, hey, I just need some space right now. Yeah. Normally when to my mom, like when i'm sad, I'm just like I don't want to talk to anybody right now, Like I just want to be left alone and I'll come talk to you when I'm ready to talk about things, but I just want

to be left alone right now. But you would get annoyed if the parent was like keeps asking, keeps asking, and then and then I feel like in a way, you would shell up and you wouldn't want to then have a conversation. Dylan, is that kind of the same for you, but for me, it's a little bit different. Like my mom just kind of like she just, you know how like parents are just come in your room, check on you, just in the middle of the day.

She'll they'll normally my mom will just typically pick up if something's wrong and then just try and like pry it out of me, sometimes trying to help. Yeah, she tries to help me by Yeah, that's that's her method. Normally it works, and then we end up just having a conversation about like what's wrong some of it. Most of the time I try not to tell her because I just I don't know. Normally, I like just keeping like my things to myself and I kind of just

figure it out, you know. But is there a reason why you don't want to tell because I think that's like when, you know, even when I talk to Julian, I know she's young, but I'm like, hey, Jeli, you can tell me anything. You can talk to me like I'm I'm you know, whatever, and so what why wouldn't you want to say something? I don't know, honestly, it's just like sometimes I'm just afraid of like just conversations.

Sometimes it's just I feel like a lot of the times I either just figured out myself or like sometimes when I go to therapy, my therapist helps me out, but you know, just sometimes I just most of the time I figure it out by myself. So let's talk about that piece. You've been going to therapy for how long? Since about third grade? Third grade? And why did you

go into therapy? Um, It's kind of hard to remember, but I'm pretty sure just like so many like thoughts and struggles as a little kid, you know, there was a lot of like like loss of innocence type things I was going through at the time that really had like an effect on like my younger childhood days. So I just started going to the same doctor. I still go to her. Um. Yeah, and it really honestly helps.

What's been the biggest benefit you've seen going to therapy? Honestly, like ever since I don't know if this kind of is the same, but ever since they put me on the medicine, that's honestly really helped. And just like having somebody even if there's nothing wrong, just having somebody to go to talk to, like about your week, it just really helps. Yeah, But because how long have you been going for Um, I just started. I mean I had

a therapist. I used to go to um Dylan's therapist in fifth grade for about like a couple of months. But then with just like anxiety attacks when I was just I don't know what it was about, but I used to do that. And then I just started going um like in August, and I've just been going to her once a week every Wednesday. And I don't even have things to talk about most of the time. I

just sit there and I'll have like a conversation. So like when something does like strike me or like I have an anxiety attack or like depression, like she knows how to help me because I like talk to her about my life, so she knows how to approach it with me. So fourteen and fifteen, where is y'all's anxiety coming from? Like what is this stem for you guys?

Where that's coming from? I would say my biggest is school and doing school work, because I mean I have volleyball and just like all of that like pile on top of it in school work, and then teachers like sometimes I'm as lenient with like do dates and stuff or like when things are going on in your life, like they don't really understand, so they'll just like pile on work and like it's just causes anxiety because like you need to get it done because they won't accept

it late. And it's like just a lot. What about for you, buddy? Honestly, it's yeah, it's pretty much just

great since just likes the pressure. And also on a different note, just stuff like we like we're exposed to these days, were exposed to like so much, like what like just like because you know, we have all the social media and stuff, so like we just see a lot of stuff, right, Yeah, I mean I feel like, um with social media definitely causes more anxiety, I guess with just like especially with friends and like school and

that kind of stuff. It's like seeing that like certain things like like what what's giving me a certain thing? Like when you don't get invited to something, and like you're like you have like a friend group and they're all hanging out without you, and then you're kind of just like scrolling through your phone, like just laying in bed and all you see is like pictures and videos of your friends together and you're like, man, why I

get invited? Yeah, it's just kind of stressful too, just like, oh, like do they not want to be friends with me? And then when you try to talk to them about it, it's like they're like no, like we just didn't like you'll come next time, Like we just didn't know you wanted to come. And it's just don't people know that everyone wants to be like I don't want to come

to things. I just want to be invited. Yeah, you know, I would like to actually stay at home, but being invited it feels good because if not, it feels you feel left out and you go, will something wrong with me? Like? And I mean that's kind of my biggest thing because

like I've been in so many friend groups. I had a friend group pretty much growing up, like we were close, our parents are all still close, and I would feel like at times like I would not be invited to things like when we would all go camping together, like they would all hang out and then kind of like leave me behind. And then even last year I had a friend group too, and they would like just hang out without me, And I'm like, what wasn't me? Am I the one that's like driving them away? Like do

they not want to hang out with me? Or is it just like I'm just they don't want to invite me, like because they were all friends before, so I was like, am I just not a part of it? So it's kind of like stressful to be like what's the talk that you can like, what what do you do to to to regulate the self talk with that? Well, in that moment, like when I realized I'm not invited, I like think like, oh, like they don't want to be

friends with me. But then I also think to the times were like I was invited and then maybe some else in the friend group wasn't invited, and I kind of like reflect on that, I'm like, well, they maybe felt the same way, and I feel like sometimes not everybody can like be together at the same time. So that's kind of like my thought process when I'm really

thinking about it. And how do you guys work through I want to talk about depression to you, but how do you guys work through the steps of like when you get an anxiety attack? Like would it would are tools because a lot of people that listen to the show um not only have kids that have anxiety, but also they suffer themselves, and so I think, you know, I would say, like you gotta have a toolbox full of stuff because what what What might work one day

for anxiety might not work the next day. Like I used to do this thing where I count backwards from five to one and some days it would work in all our days and like screw, Like this isn't working. And now I'm like and so then you go to, Okay, what's the next thing in my toolbox that I can potentially work on? So is there anything that has been helpful for you guys when you go through those moments?

For me, I just distracted myself. I use anything, every anything and everything that like just around me, and I distract myself. Um. For me, I do have a really close relationship with my mom, and I think that's something really important, like to be close with your parents, and like for parents to be close with their kids because whenever and my dad too, like whenever I'm upset, like I can always go tell my parents, Like if I'm having anxiety, like the first thing I do is I'll

tell one of my parents. But another thing is because they're supportive when when you are going to them. I think that's key too. Instead of being like, oh you're fine, it's they talk to you about it. I think just having someone like you trust, especially like your parents are just like someone you know has been through stuff too, Like you can go to them and talk to them and then they can help you. But one thing I also do is I like clean and like distract myself.

So like sometimes I'll catch myself like cleaning my room at one in the morning because I'm just like so stressed and it just helps me clear my mind and I'll listen to music and that's one of my main coping ways. Yeah, that's good. I like that. It was kind of interesting when we were at church, to remember they were talking about the three a m. In the middle of the night. I loved that, Like I was just like, what was he saying? I wrote down on

my phone. It was it was very profound when we were in church, and it was like listening to it. But what did he say? He said, um Um, I wrote it in my loan notes. It says, uh, because when the night gets the darkest, that's when the light

hits its hardest. So it's like you might feel so dark in that moment and it's it's and I'm nice to have the same thing where I'd wake up at three o'clock in the morning, and it's like instead of looking at it like, oh my god, I'm alone and it's dark and I have anxiety, it's like this is when this is when the light is like going to hit you hard. So depression, what do you guys think is you guys are struggling with on a depression level

in with where you guys are at age wise. Honestly, for me, like how like my depression just builds its just honestly builds on each other or itself. Like sometimes it'll just be nothing, but then like I'll just start feeling MOPy, sad, I don't want to do anything, and then pile that on with like all the task I have to do throughout the day, and then it just builds upon itself and then it just gets worse from there. Do you do you have a thing where you can go back to and go, Okay, this is where it

kind of stems from. I try to, but some of

the times that doesn't always work. Okay some of the times. Yeah, I think for me, like my main like stem cause of it has to go Like I do a lot with friend issues, so like that's mainly like the cause of like trying to fit in, you know, as like a sophomore girl in high school now trying to like fit in social media, like dressed way the other girls dressed, trying to be like just like everyone else, like everyone wants to be like each other, and it's just kind

of hard like to try and fit in. And then when you feel like you're not fit in, like you're not fitting in with them, you start to, like, especially for me, like a sad And then it just has a lot to do with like relationships with people and like stuff like that like causes like boyfriends and friends and all that really causes like some hard depression and

just sadness. Do you think your life would have been less, have less depression, less anxiety there wasn't social media, I think yeah, because I feel like sometimes I tried thinking like wait, what if I just got rid of like

all my social media? But then the thing is is like that's all everybody uses, and all everyone uses a snatchet and TikTok and Instagram, Facebook, well not kids, but you know, and I feel like if I get rid of it, then I'm just kind of like not going to be with Yeah, So I feel like if nobody had anything, it would be way better because, like my mom always tells me when she was a kid, like they didn't have social media and everybody would just like hang out and like go out with like no phones

and like no social media, And I feel like that would just make everything better. I honestly agree with that. It's but you know, I still have to kind of have it. As she said, I don't want to isolate myself. I want to get out there. But so what do you think the balance is? Then? Um, you know, I feel like I don't know, because it's just kind of

hard because like everybody, that's all everybody uses. Like I'll try and text you my friends and they won't answer, but then I'll like send them something on Snapchat and they respond right away. So I feel like there's been times where I have deleted like Snapchat or like I've not been allowed to use it, and I've just been so like left out and like like never was invited to anything, never like and I lost like a lot of my friends because of it. So I don't know,

I feel like, just know your limits with it. I guess I think it's hard to because they're so the bullying and I think which what The bullying that can happen on social media too is just unlike anything I've ever It's horrible. Yeah, I mean I've had hate pages

made about me. I've had these like stupid TikTok accounts made where they're like the post a video of me and be like if a Kramer cheated on her boyfriend eight times, And I'm like just like stuff like that, Like people just post anything to try and get attention,

and it's really just stupid. And like people will like tell me, they'll just like text me to nowhere and be like you're ugly, and then like the biggest thing that people say is like you're a whore is what people will tend to say to each other, especially like girls to girls are like a guy to it and because like Katherine will say like you whore, but like as a joke, yeah, I know, like they mean it seriously seriously like they I feel like one of the

biggest like bullying things is like guys tend to like shame girls what and I feel like just as kids, just like yeah and just like that and like guys and I feel like a lot of girls like now like want like that male attention and all that stuff. And then with like when a girl doesn't get that, they tend to like be like depressed or like sad, and then a guy will like start slut shaming them

and all that. And I feel like that's just like the main thing of so some media, especially like with like I hear stories from girls like in my grade all like I'll overhear them talking the hallway about like stuff that's going on between like her and a guy, and like what a guy says to them. I think it's just like, yeah, it's it's it's terrible because half of these things these people are saying, like whether it's online or behind someone's back, they would never say to

their face. That's how bad it is. It's just they always yeah, they're they're never going to say this type of stuff to the person's face, so they just do it over social media. Yeah, I mean that's what I mean. Y'all seen my, my my that. Yeah. Those Native people, it's like if you actually knocked down their door and said would you like to I mean maybe some of them would still say to my face, but I just it's so hard because like I can sit here and

tell you guys, you guys don't listen to that. You guys are both you know, you're beautiful, You're just like you're stunned, like you guys are just amazing, um and your talented like all the things. But it's like when you're seeing something like this and you're reading things and you're having to have these because high school feels so big. I mean, it feels like it's the only thing in

the world and it's like the biggest thing ever. It's like, you remember when Matthew, my high school sweetheart, cheated on me. I was like, my life is over. It's like everything just feels and like and I'm like, you know, I want to be guys, Like there's so much you know, more out there and it's and but I also remember how I felt when I was in that moment and my mom was saying this same thing, and it's like that doesn't help me when she said that, But I'm curious,

like what would help? Yeah, I mean, one thing my mom does say to me, she's like and I've kind of like had to realize it myself. But it's like, in four years, it's not gonna matter. Like she told me that all freshman year. She was like when you graduate from high school, none of the populated kids are

gonna be popular. Like when you go to college, like none of this is gonna matter, and the kids who like like end up like bullying and like all that stuff, they're going to be the ones who are like struggling to get into college and do good in their life.

So I feel like that really helped me because then I was kind of like, Okay, so like I don't need to worry about this, Like I need to worry about myself and like do good in tests, do going to test, do good just in school in general, And then like one day when high school is over, because I mean I have two years left and I go to college and I feel like there's so many colleges where it's not gonna matter who you're with in four years. Yeah, how are you guys though? With are you guys? Because

obviously people have unfortunately bullied you. How are you on social media? Like what do you do back in retaliation? Do you want to go? Well, honestly, for me, like I'm not like as out there as Eva, Like she's like, I'm just so there hasn't been like pages made about me, but I know like a lot of people, don't. I know, people who don't like me. You know, well, it's kind of like, you know, I'm I'm a little like I'm a little bit more like different. You know, he's more

into like his own things. I'm into my own stuff. Yeah, and that's that's not different. That's just you like different things. That doesn't make you like. Don't label yourself as different. You're like you just you like other things, and that's okay. Don't let anyone just because you don't just because you're not into football, into football or yeah, the you know whatever, that doesn't you're you're so knowledgeable. I mean, my goodness, gracious, move went to the zoo and the plants, Like you

are the most knowledgeable young man I've ever met. And it's like, I that to me is so much like you have so much intelligence, Like that's amazing, Like you should own that and don't say you're different, because you're so special in like the most amazing way. Like those football guys would love to have a little piece of your knowledge. But yes, I mean, do you like, how

do you does that weigh on you? That is that what causes maybe some of the depression, maybe a little bit, but that's not like that it doesn't really get to me because I know my worth. Yes, I love that. And would you incurage other parents to put their kids

into therapy? Honestly, yes, I would, because if you can really get to know somebody and trust them, even if like as like in the younger in the younger days, not a lot going on, but if they just have someone to talk to and get to know, when they do get older and they start having these issues, they have someone they can go right to and help them solve out their problems. I selfishly want to ask with them,

why not the mom? I know there needs to be and hey, I'm gonna probably most likely you know, put Jolie and Jason into you know, a therapy at some point, But like what is the piece that like you wouldn't feel comfortable talking to your parents? One thing? Like why

I went to therapy? Like my main reason it was because you know, I tell my mom literally everything, like everything, even if it doesn't involve me, like some some drama happen in school, Like I tell my mom and I feel like like I can trust my mom and I can trust my parents, but I feel like my mom didn't go to school to be like a therapist or

like like going to counseling. So I feel like having somebody who like actually like their profession is to help you and be able to listen and talk to you through things is like why, Like I think kids should go into therapy because you can tell your parents, you can trust your parents. But I feel like some things they're not, Like they didn't go to school to learn. Like my therapist she went to school to learn how to Like, we definitely didn't go to school to learn.

I didn't learn much. I mean like, yeah, when I have my really good perspective, I like that a lot because that's what even my mom told me. She was like, like, when you go into therapy, like you can tell me everything, And I do tell her everything, but it's like she went to school to do I don't know what, but

not be a therapist theist. Yeah, and there's different things that they have a different way of looking at things than maybe a parent's two and like something that they would probably have a better response or not a better response, but a response that you and really um connect to. Yeah, And I feel like a therapist is like more real to you, Like when I tell my mom stuff. You know, she's always gonna take my side, like she's not going

to take someone else's side. But then when you talk to your therapist, are like, well, maybe you know, like you shouldn't have done this to that person, like they can give you like their perspective when your parents are like they're gonna give Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that's all really good information. Yeah that makes sense a lot, same for you, Dylan, Yeah, probably the same for me. It's just honestly, I just I like talking to the therapist a bit more. That's

just honestly, just that's just what I prefer. That's just preference for me. It's almost like you're able to be more open. Yeah, but it's I want to even say it's about being more open. It's just honestly, like I just like having somebody who's just like not in the family, just because it's like it's like anonymously talking on it. Right. Yeah, No, I like that. That's cool. What Um and Dylan, we kind of talked about this the other night. But what

do you think. I mean, obviously your parents got divorceder my brother and your your your mom got divorced really young, and I know you guys don't remember it, but through the co parenting, Like, what is the one thing that like I I can learn or make sure that I'm doing. Yeah, co parenting is like that's like a really like how you like do this in their younger days is going to have a giant effect on how they like. I'm like,

I don't honestly their mental health in the future. All I'm in all you should do is like as of right now, just try to maintain some sort of like in front of the kids, some sort of positive relationship between you and Mike. Yeah. I mean you guys saw us at the basketball game. That was good. That's like

exactly it. Yeah, because I feel like when I hear stories or like when I talk to my friends his parents are also divorced, they're like yeah, like like having two parents is like so hard, and it's like because you know, their parents aren't close, and it's like I hate having the fact that I have to go like to two different houses for Christmas and my family can't

be together. But for me, honestly think if it as a plus and not the fact that I get to Christmas present, I just know I can trust both them and that they're like good with each other together, and it just makes me feel a lot more comfortable like having divorced parents, because I mean, my whole life, I grew up with having divorced parents, but I mean my

whole life, they've been able to like work together together. Yeah, and that's really helped me knowing that my parents are like still like my parents and they like obviously be like I don't know how to explain it, like they just know they can co parent together, and that's really helpful for exactly. Do you think it was easier too

that you guys were younger? Yah, I look at you know when the divorce, the divorce that your dad and I, um, I went through with our parents, and it was I mean, your dad was let's see, if I was thirteen fourteen, he was fifteen sixteen, and we saw a lot of stuff that we should not have seen. We were witnessed to a lot of stuff, and I think that really

shaped my adolescent years. And you know, same with him, and a lot of stuff that like, you know, I know that he personally, you know, deals with from that like childhood trauma. I guess place um, but I don't know, Like I obviously I hate the fact that Julian Jason are in a separate house. Having said that, you know, I think at the age was helpful. No, I don't

think they're going to remember too much. And so that's why I'm really trying, like okay, like you know, inviting my acts to the birthday parties and like just trying to have something that like they can see us, like you said, together and that's the best thing you could do. Yeah, and then I can still have my own personal feelings on whatever. But in front of the kids, like I mean, I like, yeah, that was Schuman Shuman laughing. Yeah, Like no, but I mean I mean we're good. You know, we

have days, right, but like good and bad. But I think, um, yeah,

I think that's a really good thing. And is there anything else that you should think that I should be aware of, Like that's not a good thing to do, or I have to think of past experiences, probably not having a relation, like not having the kids meet I mean the kids have only met one person, honestly, Like when um our mom remarried, that was honestly, like that was a good thing because I felt like, honestly, it was just like it was a really good thing to

happen after the divorce. It's another parent in your life, another parent, because I mean, we love our stepdad, we love our stepmom, like and they're two like really good people who we are very fortunate to have in our life, and that we can also trust them, like I can trust my stepdad and I trust my stepmom like and you know, I think it's good to have that relationship or like bonus parents exactly. But your mom will always

be your mom, your dad will always be her. And I think that's when as when I was going through why I didn't want to divorce your uncle Mike, But it was because I was like, I don't want someone else to raise my kids. But at the end of the day, like your mom's your mom, your dad's your dad. And I said, of people get to like Kristen, who's I love her and she's you know, your stepmom and she's my sister in law, but like, and I adore her.

So it's like, oh my god, that's so cool. Like she gets to love the kids, to like more people to love you guys. It's amazing. I never really thought of it as like a negative type of thing because I know, like my dad, like I always love him as my dad and like nobody can replace him, and

nobody can replace my mom. And I think just having like a stepmom and a stepdad too, that just can like help because I think it's hard being like a single parent, especially because when I was like little, little er, my parents were like I don't know, I just felt

like it was more hard for them. So having another person to come in and help with the income and like just like help them, like help us and just be a good parent for us is like really helpful and like good for kids to It's interesting because a lot of times, like I remember, um, people are like wait till the kids are older to like settle down, Um just focus on and it's like, yes, my focus is always the kids, but the waiting to settle down, I'm like I I would think that it would be

I mean, either one like right, you gotta do it's ever best for you, so something, you know, nine, I know some people that have waited until, you know, getting remarried or getting into relationships until after the kids are older. But also like my kids are so young that, yeah, it is nice to have that partner and then of all them also to have that family. Yeah, I think,

I mean, you settle whenever you're ready to settle. I feel like there's not like a never settle baby, never settle you love and yeah, never settle, you know you know what I mean? Um, I think just like getting into another relationship, it's like and like getting married and having another person there for your kids, Like there's never really a time for that, it's just whatever it feels right.

But like I think that just having like your kids grow up with another person there, because you know, we grew up with our stepdad there, so we basically he's like a glued in peace to our family, like when we think about like our family, like he's like in there in same with my stepmom. We didn't grow up with her, but I mean we've known her for like

a long time. And for me, honestly, having this person like come into their life when they're younger is better than old when they're older, because when they're older, this random person is just going to try and enter their life and they're like what instead of like when they're

little and they'll always be there. Yeah. I think just like growing up with that that person also helps because I feel like now if like my parents weren't married and they just got married, and then there's just like this guy like trying to come in and like trying to like parent me. But I mean, like I'm an older, moody teenager, like the old I'm gonna please be the

title of this podcast, old moody teenager. I just feel like with that, like it would just be harder to like a just and you just have so many feelings when you're older, and I feel like it would just be like kind of more more difficult. But I mean, I think people should just do what's right. But I mean I feel like for me growing up with having a step dad, like enter my life when I was like four, no younger than that, right, like three, Well, you guys were able to have that family even though

it looked a little different. You have two homes, like you were able to have that family unit. But I think you know, at the end of the day, you got to do what's best and do not settle because never settled. I love my family three and I would never settle again for because I know what my kids deserve, I know what I deserve, and I think you know, it has to be that right puzzle piece. Yeah, exact,

perfect puzzle perfect. What is something else that you guys want to either say two kids out there, like a message to bullies or to the parents, or like, what is something like if you could have one thing that you just want to say or a few things that you just something that needs to either be known or that you just want to say that you feel strongly about. Yeah, and what is that to you? Just don't let anybody define who you are as a person. You You're yourself

and nobody should ever have the right to change that. Yeah, I kind of saying like what he's saying, but like you should know who you are and never like change yourself for other people. And you should just have people love you for who you are. And if they don't love you for who you are, then they're not the right person. And I mean you can see that with friends relationships, and then for parents, I feel like when your kid is like you never know really what your

kid is going through. It's kind of hard to tell because kids are like really good at hiding things. Because I've had so many things from my mom like when I was and you guys are close, yeah, and when I wasn't able to tell her like I just felt like I couldn't. I eventually did, but I mean, like just over time, I just I think you should just

like be there for your kids no matter what. And they might not always tell you everything, and they might just act kind of distant, but just like you can be there from them and like remind them that like you're there for them, that you love them, that they're loved, and yeah, to be consistent and you know what, I want you guys to remember and know you're worth too when you get into those moments. I think it's so easy.

I mean I do the same thing. I get on here and I'm like, I know you're worth and don't settle and you know, love yourself and don't read those hate pages. And then two hours later I'm like, so it's like I think you know you were. We also have to take in what we say and know that, um, you know who you are. And I think it always goes back to like in those places like when you're not invited, or when you feel depressed or someone's being mean to your bullying, it's like, what is the truth?

You know? And like that's what I think you should go back through. The truth is you are worthy you are enough. You are smart, but you and you're not book smart. Okay we didn't we didn't we didn't get that gene. Okay, we didn't even see. Yeah, we were counting in our fingers, like I mean, and I felt seen so thank you so, But I mean, you know

and you know. So It's like we all have our our things and our strengths, and I think we just need to, like what the truth is that we are all all we are all good enough, we're all worthy, and we just if someone isn't being kind to us, we'd be kind to them no matter what. I think. One thing is like you shouldn't like take into perspective that everybody's going through something and that you never know

what someone's going through. And I mean, just like just I can't say be nice to everybody, because you know, people aren't nice to everybody. I mean, there's been times when I've been mean to people, and I feel like it's just like I don't I don't like being mean to people, but then there's also been times where I've been mean to people. People have been mean to me. But I feel like, just know that like everybody's kind

of going through the same thing. And that you should just treat everybody, like try your hardest to just treat everybody good because you never know, like something you could say could be someone's last straw or and you don't want to, like you never know what someone's going through their internal battle. And that's what I said. I got had this one Instagram question the other day. Someone was like,

who is the rudest celebrity you ever met? And I'm like, I'm not going to answer that because like, first of all, I had no idea what they were going through on that day. And there's been times when people have caught me on bad days because I was insecure about something, or Mike and I were fighting or something. It's like and I probably didn't I probably might not have been nice because we don't I don't know someone that has been nice every single day, but we can try to

do better the next day and we can. Again, like you just don't know what someone's personally going through, So it's like just be kind you haven't you know even the mean people that are not being mean, and just remember the truth and remember your worth. One thing I had one thing I like reflect on is sometimes like when I mean to somebody like in the past, I like tend to be like, oh, like I'll feel really bad about it, and I'll like either send them a

text message or I'll DM them. I'm like hey, like I'm sorry, Like I was just going through some things and like I didn't mean anything, just like I just

wanted to say sorry. Like I always have to apologize for my actions because I feel like you just never know, and I feel like talking to somebody and like like saying like like sorry, it's just really helpful because you never know, like someone could be so mean to me and like say something mean to me, or getting a fight with a boyfriend and then they like text and I'm like really upset over it and like you know, just get like depression thoughts and then I'm just saying sorry.

It's like really yeah, it washes the energy away too. And also it's like because you're not a mean person. I'm not a mean person. You're not a mean person. No one likes to be me. And I remember one time I yelled, so I'll I'll say this is um because I announced that, you know, I'm doing a new house and I was having uh something was going to maybe potentially be in the backyard, and I was like, but my privacy, and I got really angry and I

yelled and I ended up. Whenever I yell or if I might potentially be mean, I just cry because I feel awful, Like I don't like the way that it makes me feel. I don't like the fact that I might have hurt someone or they saw a different side of me that's not really me. And I remember I just wrote like this long thing going like I'm really sorry.

I was really struggling with the fact and and at first I just said sorry, right, because you don't want to be like but um, and then when the conversation opens, that's and I'm like, yeah, I was just I was struggling with some stuff and and um. You know, once that's done and the conversations, it's like, oh, like, well, it's all good. It's like you didn't have to but if does, you're right, does feel nice to say you're sorry.

And I think communication is the most important thing, like exactly with everybody, Like I just always like have communication, Like whenever I get into a fight, like I communicate when I'm like mad with my parents, are sad or talking to my parents, like I communicate everything because I feel like it just makes me feel better about it, and like talking to somebody or even just one of my biggest things that I do, like coping with depression is I'll write myself a note or I'll like like

write everything down on a piece of paper and I'll just rant like say whatever, and then I'll tear up that piece of paper or all like burning or something, and it makes me just like even just communicating like that, like just to yourself really helps. But I love the reference to I love the reference. I didn't actually burn the book. It was yeah, they were like they just in the book. I love the fact that you don't even know that movie because I feel like, really, yeah,

I like word really that one that came background. And that's awesome because I was gonna about to feel a roll old uh yeah, I know there's something to um

anytime you have this. I learned this in therapy. So like one of my things, i'm not I'm not enough, you always replace it with like when you're having the thought, I know I am enough, and so like that's like retraining your brain to remember because of course we all have those shame messages like I'm not enough, I don't deserve this or I all those things, and it's like, no, I am worth, you know, I am worthy, and so, uh, last year I started writing the affirmations on my mirror

and that really helps the house. Yeah. Well yeah, my girlfriend Kristen, she she did that because I was, you know, having a minute, and so she she wrote those around and it's good. It's nice to see it. And for a long time I had him in a mirror and like, I am enough, I'm worthy, I'm lovable, and I deserve. I deserve like I deserve. I would always do Bible verses on my mirror. I would like right like or I would just take like a X marker and I would like write like something big on my mirror, so

I looked at it every morning. Or I would take like sticky notes and put them on the mirror of like Bible verses that are like your love, You're enough for anything around those lines. You gotta feel it. Yeah, is there anything anything else you guys want to say to the to the wine Down listeners, be kind, be kind to people, you never know what people are going through, love yourself, love others, stay cool. Well, thank you guys

so much for coming on the show. I love you, guys, and yeah, I just I'm it's been beautiful to watch you guys grow into to just incredible loving I mean, your hearts, and I just if I could take the weight of some of this world and the negativity off y'all, you know I would, um, and yeah, I just don't ever forget how loved you are. Thank you, thank you, love you.