Intentions in the Sand - podcast episode cover

Intentions in the Sand

Mar 24, 20251 hr
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Episode description

Jana, Kathryn and Kristen have been feeling sensitive and emotional lately, which leads to a conversation about playful teasing, and when it goes too far.

 

How do you set boundaries with toxic family members?? Jana tries to help a listener protect her mental health by limiting access and trusting her own instincts.

Plus, find out why Jana had to abruptly end her vacation in the Bahamas!

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript

Speaker 1

Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heart Radio Podcast. All Right, ladies, we are back. I missed you. I know.

Speaker 2

I got the best text message from Kristen about what it was, just like, what has happened?

Speaker 1

You said?

Speaker 2

He said, how's I'm gonna I'm actually gonna post it. I saved it. I took a picture of it, and she goes, hey, PF, how's Bahamas? And all I said was hah.

Speaker 1

And then I go.

Speaker 2

That's a perfect and she goes, oh, no, is it not good? And I'm like, well, I'm not there.

Speaker 1

I'm not there.

Speaker 3

One overseas a day one comes on earlier. I have a lot of questions.

Speaker 2

I go for it.

Speaker 1

Okay, how is the pause? I guess your day?

Speaker 2

Catherine knows because she's on the group message with my manager and agent, and so we okay. At about three ish and we got to the hotel or it's not even a hotel, it's they're like little bungalows, so beautiful. Got there around four ish and uh yeah, we got We're on we're on the beach and we're getting ready for dinner. We go to dinner and I don't like having the phone at the table, but it was just kind of on my chair and I picked it up.

And the group chat is called Badass Babes. So it's my two managers, Catherine and then my agent, and I'm like, why.

Speaker 1

Are they texting me on a Sunday? And it was kind of late.

Speaker 2

It was late, well, it was well, it was like East Coast, like, yeah.

Speaker 4

I was thinking it was a little bit like maybe I didn't see it till later because I'm everything like damn.

Speaker 1

Yeah.

Speaker 2

It was maybe like nine o'clock Eastern time, and they're like, hey, you're getting an offer on a movie, and I'm like, oh, yay, I'm so excited, Like I'm so excited. I'm like awesome, amazing.

Speaker 4

And I really, I have to say, from my point of view at this point, I could tell you hadn't read the whole thing yet because of how much excitement.

Speaker 1

But like with the details, like.

Speaker 2

With the dates, well, I didn't seen the dates yet.

Speaker 4

Oh they were oh well they had at some point put it and then you were like wait what.

Speaker 2

Yeah, so I just saw the one thing and then they said Ina and it were pumped because you got a movie. I'm pumped right. Well, this was the funny piece of it right. So I'm that Sunday, like before we went to dinner, I just did a little I was like watching the sunset go down. And at that point, I have so many projects kind of up in the air. When are things going to be going? When are they not?

What's happening whatever? And so I said a little prayer to God and just said, hey, if you know, just continue to show me that I'm on the right path and things are you know, things are going the way they I'm doing the right thing. And if one of these things could just finally land would be awesome, because I just have waiting for a few of the other ones.

And I didn't want it that quick. He answered it quite quick, and so yeah, So then my my agent was like, you have to be in West Virginia on Wednesday, and what day is this? This is Sunday night. Yikes, And I said, I'm in the Bahamas with my get away because again, we haven't had a true get away since our honeymoon, because you know, we can't count any of the work ones because we're technically working, so I don't count that as a true unplug and get away.

And so yeah, we really were waiting for this Dhammas. I was so I was we needed it. I needed it, and and I think what the bummer was is I really wanted to just completely unplug from everything and have zero stress, because that's just how I've been. I've been feeling so stressed and anxious and bear like, and so I just wanted to chill.

Speaker 5

And so.

Speaker 2

That was what bummed me the most, because that night, it was my excitement of relaxing was a way stressing. I immediately go anxious, what do I do? What decision do I make?

Speaker 1

Do I do this?

Speaker 2

Do I not do it? And now I'm having to I didn't want to do any work too, because I just wanted to have three days of just nothing, just to relax and be present with my husband and don't do any work and not in the phone. And so that was a bummer because I didn't get to have that unplug and so then I was anxious all night, didn't know what to do. Then Monday, I'm reading the script and that was another thing too. I'm like, I don't want to not do a good job. This is

last minute. I don't have a lot of time to memorize, and I but I'm like, how do I get home and then I've got the kids the second part of spring break, and we had plans to go to Chattanooga and or Pigeon Forge and hang out with them, and so it was just a very it was kind of a logistical nightmare. But my managers and I was kept telling Alan, I'm not gonna do it. I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it. I don't want to, you know, I don't want to cut

our trip short. But he was just like, you're doing it, Like you're not not doing it, like absolutely, go do it. And so, I mean, it was it was hard to turn down. But the main reason why I took it was because it's a it was a way different role. If it was just like the wife of somebody or playing the you know, typical role, I probably wouldn't have taken it, just because like why, I've done that before.

But this my managers I called them and she was like, I really, we would really like for you to take this. This would be something great for the real you don't usually play this part. And they they kind of made their case for it, and I'm like you're you're right, and so yeah, so and it was only four full filming days. So I mean, how great is that?

Speaker 1

Incredible?

Speaker 2

Get to work with you know, Steve Gutenberg, who's fantastic, and it was. It was great. It was just logistical, logistically kind of crazy. I'm like, all right, well we I They're like, can you fly from the Bahamas to Pittsburgh And I'm like, I don't have anything for Pittsburgh.

Speaker 1

Bis and just fly straight, fly straight there.

Speaker 2

I'm that And then I'm like, I need to figure out, Like you guys, I've got the kids. I have to go get the kids.

Speaker 3

Also for me, I think like the older I get like home is so centering that no matter what, I just need a pit stop.

Speaker 1

Yeah just for a second. Yeah.

Speaker 2

But it's also like I'm big on I've got all my supplements.

Speaker 1

I only have.

Speaker 2

I only took so many of my things, and I don't want to be five days without all of the stuff that I take. And so there was there was or the worst jeans or something that wasn't some sort of and flow floral dress and so yeah, so I we figured it out where we had one full day in the Bahamas on that Monday, and then Tuesday we

left and flew. We had two stops and then we flew in Nashville, and the only way to get us to Nashville was a private out, but the production handled that because you know, it's really on them, like if you want me there.

Speaker 1

Because they wanted Tuesday night.

Speaker 3

I want to be.

Speaker 2

Tuesday night, but I am filming on Wednesday, so I had to be there Tuesday night. So I'm like, the only possible way is if I take the first flight out of the Bahamas on Tuesday, go through Charlotte, then Charlotte to Nashville, and then have two hours to gather the kids, pack bags, repack, and you know, get on a planet. But there's no flights out, there's there's no

one way is to Morgantown. You got to either stop, you got to go to Pittsburgh, but that those flights were already gone, so and then drive an hour and a half to Morgantown. So I'm like, the only way is if we get a private out. So we they have. They had a company, the production company, so they sent us a little plane and put the family only on the plane and we all went. But it was also

for me. I wanted the kids to have fun too, so I just studied super hard on the two days that I was where it was a Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and those three days. So that way, I took the kids to Nema Colon, which is like the Bessel Resort in Pennsylvania, and I just like full focus, just was like on the kids because I also wanted them to have fun too, because they thought we were going to

the aquarium and you know, or Dollywood or whatever. So but this was they had so much fun and that made me really happy and there was a really good connection time. So all in all it worked out. Everything was great, and then we got back on Tuesday night. So when we landed yesterday, I said, hey, babe, a week ago we were leaving the Bahamas and then all.

Speaker 1

The men also getting to the Bahamas.

Speaker 2

Yeah, so but it was so fun. I mean that's and that's the thing. It's you know, things like that come up usually not that last minute. But it was a good role, good opportunity, and I've like the most supportive husband ever who just was like, yep, we're going and next time the prayer will be, Hey, God, will you let me know him on the right path. After Wednesday, yeah, just like give me a couple of days.

Speaker 4

I know, he's like, hey, you asked for this, this is how this works sometimes.

Speaker 1

Which that was crazy.

Speaker 4

I mean I've never been I've never yeah, I mean for you, I've never seen you have to do that.

Speaker 1

That was crazy.

Speaker 3

Weet know anything about the role or the movie.

Speaker 2

So I can't share everything, but I can share that it's a true story. Okay, it's a really messed up true story. It's sad. I mean it's and it's very and my character is you know, throughout the movie. Again, I've only worked four full days, so it's not it's weird because this movie is like even Steve only works five days, and it's kind of all broken up into just different people and characters. But my character was one of the people that helped solved this missing true story murder.

Speaker 1

Oh I'm gonna oh murder.

Speaker 2

Yeah. But it's it's a really good uh. I mean, it's just so messed up, so messed up. But I got to work with all the people that I worked up in gas Lit and it was just great to see everybody again and do that. But it'll come out, I believe.

Speaker 1

In June. Oh wow, we are fast turn around Wow yep, Okay.

Speaker 4

I think fast about this movie. Yeah, so I'm excited for you. I hate that you had to leave Bahamas, but I just got so excited for you because I know you just like you said, wanted something to land and like, yes, it was quick turnaround, but like how exciting, Like it's great you got it, went for it.

Speaker 1

I'm sure you did a great job.

Speaker 3

I also get excited when you get to do things that aren't typical things you done say like, I get really too. My name is Lena Coy. I'm a pearl and probation officer in the Missouri Department. My girl, I probation officer.

Speaker 2

Yeah, but I will say there was a piece of me that was worried because it's not something typical that comes like natural to me. So I just hope it turned out good because I was still trying to learn the lines too, because I come I like to be overly prepared. Even I told the script supervisor said, you know me, I usually have my tabs, I've got my folder, I've got I mean, I know my lines weeks before

and this is a day before. So and I still didn't have to call out for a line, which I was very Oh wow, yeah I.

Speaker 1

Know, so did you study all day on Monday at your day and Bama.

Speaker 2

So what I looked. I glanced at it and I said, I'm going to give myself the day to just enjoy today good. And on Tuesday I'm the flight home. I will study like a madman. And then what I did was I studied all my stuff for Wednesday scene. And then Wednesday when I'm working. You know how it's like you have so much time on set, So I just studied like crazy, and I had really staty you know, the same girl like said, will you read these lines?

I script supervisors running onlines on repeat, and because it's like this stuff doesn't come natural to me, this verbiage, and.

Speaker 1

We still have to have time to learn it, like they have to understand that.

Speaker 3

Like I don't even remember why I walk into a room anymore, and you have to remember lines.

Speaker 1

I understand.

Speaker 2

And Marty the director, she was, you know, She's like, I mean we could use Q cards. I was like, Marty, I just had hides. I was, I would never do that. Ever, meanwhile, I'm like grabbing the marker and were never. I was like, I got it, I'll do it. I just like you know, me and Catherine this is just who I am. I get really like like overwhelmed, and then it's go time. Yeah then I can just do it.

Speaker 1

Yeah.

Speaker 2

So but it was so fun. I love you guys, thanks for asking. A great time. Kids had fun. We had an amazing time at Nemicole and and lots of memories were made, so it was fun.

Speaker 1

Hey there, folks, it's DJ Holmes and Amy Roeboch. Don't Morning Run every weekday morning Monday through Friday.

Speaker 6

Yeah, we'll be covering the biggest stories, everything you need to know, breaking news, politics, pop culture on our daily podcast, Morning Run, And of course it has a little bit of our own personal flare to it.

Speaker 1

Yeah that's right. Make sure to subscribe now, so every day when you wake up, you've got the Morning Run waiting for you.

Speaker 6

Listen to Morning Run wherever you get your podcasts.

Speaker 4

So, were you always supposed to have the kids? Who was supposed to have the kids for spring break?

Speaker 2

So technically technically me, but I asked Mike because in the Parenting Planet goes fall break and then spring break, and then it goes fall break and spring break. So that's back to back vacation times, and so there's no way you can really start a tradition with that, and it's a lot of money to go trip then trip, you know, a couple months later. So I said, hey, can we start doing it where you have spring break

every year and I have fall break every year? So that way we both have but it's not double each time. And you know, I'd like to start making a thing where, you know, I take the kids ear every fall break or make a make a what's that called? Yeah, And so he agreed to that. He goes, but he said, can we split this spring break because I already have plans to go out of town? And I said, absolutely, gotcha. So he was going to take the front end, and

then I was taking back. And so when I texted him the Bahamas, I said, hey, I got a movie role. Are you still leaving out of town? And he said yeah, you know, sorry, and I was like, no, it's not not on you, it's okay. Are you then cool with me taking the kids? They're going to miss school on Monday and Tuesday, you know, and he was he was, you know, helpful in the fact where he said, you know, I could always come get them on Monday. I'm like, oh,

that's just one day. You know, so thanks, but so gotcha. Yeah, okay, well that worked out.

Speaker 4

I didn't know if y'all had to like change what y'all had planned or how that worked out or whatever, but that's good.

Speaker 1

Yeah, so yeah, you went with coast I did. Was it fun? It was fun.

Speaker 4

It was a little chilli and it rained like four days in California.

Speaker 1

Go figure. I did say California isn't warm. I knew it wasn't going to be warm.

Speaker 4

And here's the deal, it would have been beautiful and perfect had it not been stormy, stormy and rainy, because like the days that it wasn't or when the sun would even partially come out and it wasn't raining, it was like exactly what we kind of expected and wanted. But again, we made the most of it. It was fine, It was great. There were things that we didn't get to do because of the weather that we had planned, but like what we were going to go whale watching

with that guy canceled. We were going to do kayaks and La Joya, but we thought better of that choice because the water was I was like, I will, and then we saw them the day we were supposed to go, and I was like, I would have died. I would have fallen. Like it was the just the you know, the weather. It was just the waves were big, and I was like I never could have done it. So we just kind of pivoted and did different stuff and

it was great. You know, it's so different now with teenagers too, and like what they want to do, what they like to do.

Speaker 1

But it was just chill and do they like to do shopping?

Speaker 4

Oh, it took the girls shopping when Randy day. Kayden doesn't like to shop. Cayden fished some. He went fishing and he caught his first fish in California, like a bay bass or something that you know, he had never done.

Speaker 1

That was good.

Speaker 4

You know, they're good with like going and seeing things to an extent, but then they're ready to be done, like let's go back.

Speaker 1

And get in the hot tub.

Speaker 2

I saw the Disney thing. It was funny with this is kids in Disney Disney Life.

Speaker 1

Oh yeah, they were just.

Speaker 2

Like on the floor.

Speaker 4

They were like done, you know, like and I'm like, this is about Ramsey. It is her birthday and they were like so like Ramsey wanted to ride this one ride a second time at the end of the night and you know, like with the Genie Pass, you have to like plan it. So it wasn't until like eight that night. We'd been there for like twelve hours. Yeah,

and so I was like, this is about Ramsey. So like I'd catch Kate and be like, hey, Ramsey, do you want to do this or do you want to go back and get in the hot tub.

Speaker 1

I'm like labor alone.

Speaker 4

But I mean they were really sweet and it was luckily that day, like it was rainy, but it wasn't like hard, It was just drizzle, so it was fine and it was fun. But we had a great time. It was you know, as they get older, like how often are you in a room together? You don't really think about that. I mean our room that we had was like two rooms, so it was like us and

them but connected. But one night for Disney, we were in one hotel room and that was probably our best night because we were all just like picking on each other and laughing and Ramsey's crying but we're laughing, like you know. It was just I was like, you're never in a room together when they're teenagers anymore.

Speaker 1

Yeah, I mean you are for a little bit.

Speaker 4

They'll hang out in the living room for a little bit, but everybody goes to their own rooms, you know, so it's like that kind of drives them crazy for a minute, but then it's like, you.

Speaker 1

Know, it's fun.

Speaker 2

You and Nick got to have a good full circle san Diego too.

Speaker 4

Yeah, well, which is funny because we you know, hung out with his friends that he went and saw.

Speaker 2

Oh that's funny.

Speaker 4

So you know we were separated, he went and stayed with this friend JJ and his wife Samantha, and so that was kind of part of like, let's go back and see JJ and Samantha because we were friends with them when they lived here and so yeah, so it was kind of but I feel that.

Speaker 1

It was also full circle from like years ago.

Speaker 4

Oh yeah, we didn't talk about that, that's it.

Speaker 1

That's funny. I hadn't thought about that.

Speaker 2

Full circle was when I wrote you about Instagram, So I knew Nick went there when you guys were separated, but I was talking about.

Speaker 1

That's so funny. God, when was this? This is when I was dating How long ago? Man? Like a long it was.

Speaker 4

I mean, I can't even think I'm sure I had I would have had both kids, two kids, not Ramsey. We had gone because she was dating someone who lived in San Diego Eastwood.

Speaker 1

She just said I was trying to protect her.

Speaker 3

No, no, no, no protection she herself and so I have to reiterate Eastwood.

Speaker 4

Nick and I went and we bought so bad on the way home, this huge.

Speaker 2

Come over to my house or no.

Speaker 4

Yeah, that was like our biggest fight probably ever literally.

Speaker 1

Separated ever.

Speaker 4

I forgot about that. I mean I remember that we had fought. Oh my god, yes, that was our house in Britwoods. That was a long time ago. That was like our first, like huge fight and I.

Speaker 2

That was the first time I from even being friends.

Speaker 1

That was the worst by that And you were like there and in the.

Speaker 4

Middle of it for sure, because it was like I can't even remember why I wanted him to take me on a trip or do something and he's real cheap and didn't want to.

Speaker 2

We all got back from San Diego and it was just the biggest It was. It was just yeah, and.

Speaker 4

I was like, you should want to do it. And we were married seven years, that's what it was.

Speaker 1

It was like I never see you as fight. This was this was a blow up.

Speaker 4

We did talk about that and Kayden was like, what happened? I was like, don't worry about it, and we were just laughing about it. But we that's where I was just like, so funny. We talked about it for like a minute. But he was definitely more on the wavelength of thinking about being there single sure, for sure, and so that was kind of like, you know, his whole thing. And then hanging out with JJ and Samantha and they were like, yeah, when you were here last was.

Speaker 2

Trying to teach you guys how to surf.

Speaker 4

I'll never forget that. We did talk about that a million times. I was so exhausted by the water.

Speaker 1

Girl. I like water, but I'm not a surfer and can tell you that much. I'm not strong enough.

Speaker 4

It's like by the time I too out of shape for surfing. It's like by the time you fight the waves to get out there, then they expect you to push your whole body up. And I was like, no, I'm good, just stay right here and surf. Their float just float.

Speaker 1

It's hard.

Speaker 4

Cayden was going to take surf lessons, but he's got the fractured stress fracture in his back, so he didn't do it.

Speaker 2

All things really ended after that trip.

Speaker 1

Things for all of us.

Speaker 2

It was like rip to all of.

Speaker 1

That's so funny. There was parts of that trip that were fun though.

Speaker 2

Oh, I mean so fun. That was it.

Speaker 1

That was it was. It was to that era. That was just a fun time. That was a fun Jammer era.

Speaker 7

Era.

Speaker 2

Hie, yeah, that was it was just fun nothing. Yeah, all fun that one. Yeah, that was just well good. I'm glad you got to have the.

Speaker 4

All the yeah, all the full circles, all the full circles.

Speaker 1

Where were you?

Speaker 5

Kb?

Speaker 1

We don't have our spring break until after Easter, so oh that's I would rather that.

Speaker 3

It's wonderful, actually warm and yeah, it's really lovely and I like it a lot. We just did a quick overnight to Tampa because the guys were asked to do the first ever halftime at the Savannah Bananas.

Speaker 4

Guys, it is a total riot and how fun for your kids.

Speaker 3

Oh, we lived our best life. And the corporation from just we met the owners, Emily Cole, is outstanding. They have this foster children program Bananas Foster. You know, like, none of the puns were lost on me. I was living. It was amazing and it was entertaining. If you ever get a chance to go, you have to. I've had a lot of friends tell me about it, but I've never because it was sheer incredible a couple of years ago.

They do a fantastic job. There's no fan left behind, like they will make sure every single person feels the effect of the Savannah Banansa.

Speaker 1

But it's awesome. We had a great time. Yeah, it was really fun, but it was quick.

Speaker 3

And the night before we left was storm warnings here and you know how I am put the helmets on even at the thought of it. So there was no sleep and so I was coming in on like fume Sunday, baby shower, changed in the car, got home, had to go to cheer and I was like, we just skipped school Monday. I'm like, I'm not doing this.

Speaker 1

Yeah, I don't blame me. Yeah, like I was toast.

Speaker 3

It's a weird feeling to feel hungover and not drink and that's how I.

Speaker 1

Felt for like two days. Yeah, it was wild, but it was banana. It was banana. I love that so fun.

Speaker 2

Let's take a break and get back to whine about it.

Speaker 7

You met Michelle Lally in the hip Bravo show The Valley. You met me literally during the most difficult chapter in my life. Now it's time for you to meet the real me Michelle Sennye. Yes, I change my name, and I want you to follow me on my journey to the Pursuit of Sassiness. So much has happened to me before, during,

and after the show. Before you can really understand the eight weeks that you saw on TV, I think you have to know what was going on from the very beginning, from being raised by two immigrant parents, paying my own way through college and working at Hooters, to starting my own real estate empire, getting married, having a baby during COVID, to that very same marriage falling apart on national TV, to losing my mom, to eventually finding love again. There

is so much to unpack and share. I'm on the pursuit of happiness and most importantly, I'm on the pursuit of sassiness. Listen to Pursuit of Sassiness starting on March seventeenth on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Speaker 2

All right, girls, what do you got?

Speaker 4

I don't really have a wine about it, but I do have something really stupid that I did. I'm just going to share this with y'all real fast, and y'all are gonna make this is the stupidest thing ever. You know how I am not good at like makeup, eyebrows all the things.

Speaker 2

Wait time out. I thought that you're not good. You just do basic. Okay, that's not not good.

Speaker 1

Okay.

Speaker 4

Well I also just don't know what I'm doing. It's great, Okay, Well have you noticed anything about me?

Speaker 1

Sorry? How the wait stare at me.

Speaker 2

A second?

Speaker 1

I don't you just look pretty? I don't know. Okay.

Speaker 4

So I missed, for whatever reason, for like my last two appointments for my eyebrows.

Speaker 1

Okay, and you have a full brow. A full brow.

Speaker 4

So besides that fact right now, because I have that appointment next week. And when they said about our wind down next week, I was like, but I have an appointment. That's why I'm like freaking out about my appointment.

Speaker 1

Side note.

Speaker 4

So then I decide, for the first time in my life, and yes, I'm forty one to you trim my brows on my own.

Speaker 1

Okay, I literally cut out a chunk of my eyebrow.

Speaker 2

I'll show you how to do it.

Speaker 1

I don't know how I did it.

Speaker 2

I can't even tell. Well, it's grown back, okay.

Speaker 4

But everything, and he would just keep looking at me and she's like, yeah, that's.

Speaker 1

What she said.

Speaker 4

I don't know how my daughter knows this, but she's like, oh mom, i'd have to like fill it in every day anyway.

Speaker 1

So I cut my eyebrow in half right here last week. Anyway. It let me stare at it.

Speaker 8

I don't see it, but I literally I'm like, how did that happen?

Speaker 1

A whole thing just goes.

Speaker 2

It was God, I did use the brush to brush I thought I did.

Speaker 4

It was so bad, y'all. Anyway, that's how you know. I now I know and will never ever ever do it again. So I sit my brow girl, and I was like, I have to reschedule, like I have to reschedule because I needed anyway, That's all I have this week.

Speaker 3

I have one that I don't know how widespread this is or if this is just a Nashville thing.

Speaker 1

Oh, let's hear it.

Speaker 3

Themes, dress codes and themes for parties.

Speaker 4

I just don't go to anything. Just Pam, love her, love Pam, and she always has dress code, which is great.

Speaker 1

Love that. Otherwise I just don't do anything that has themes or like I already have such a hurdle to leave.

Speaker 3

I don't love leaving my you know, like we're all in the season of like nesty and babies, and it always sounds like a great idea when it's like four weeks out and you're like, oh for sure, yeah, and oh my god, are we going to get dinner before? And it's all just like this really fantasy world that we live in. And then the closer we get, the more I'm like, how do we get out of this?

Speaker 4

That is not a Nashville thing. I think that that's very common. No, that part I think is okay.

Speaker 3

Yeah, it's just that when you add the layer then of like it's a theme or you can't wear this color or you can't wear that color, or it has to be I mean, I don't I don't know if this person listens, So I don't go this person under the bus Pam No, No, No, I don't really that would have.

Speaker 2

Been that we can easily say. I mean homegirl told us we weren't allowed to wear pink at Valentine's Day. No way to be red.

Speaker 1

No, it could be I think she was going to wear red. No for I could to Manaska.

Speaker 8

So it was all pink and yeah, anyways, we love you, Pam.

Speaker 2

We need so much that I'll say this, I do love people's attention to the detail of things. Sure I've only made you guys. Sure, I've made you guys do one theme party. That was it for my fortieth. I think when it comes to a fortieth or a fiftieth or some bigger thing, then I say, yes, you know, and if that's.

Speaker 1

My only one that year or a couple of years.

Speaker 3

So we also knew that was coming, like we had like a you know, it's like when you get a couple of weeks out and it's like, hey, we would love for you to celebrate the birth of this baby in pastels only.

Speaker 1

Do not come in white? Do not. And I'm like, for the love of Pete, Like, well.

Speaker 2

That's that's for the grand Yeah, it's just for the folks.

Speaker 1

That is a lot of Nashville. Yeah, yeah, and that's where I'm going. I don't know a theme.

Speaker 4

I don't know that a theme necessary. I think that people obviously will do themes for different things outside of Nashville, but I think what has happened a lot in Nashville because it's such an influencer world is the can't wear this color. Let's all match so we look good for the photo that we post on Instagram.

Speaker 1

And that's why I'm out. So did you go no sad thing? Okay? No?

Speaker 3

And I hate it And it's not even I'm I think, I just am like I I'm in a point in my body where I want a dress to be comfortable already, and not even sweatpants. I just want to dress and put on something that makes me feel pretty and and if that doesn't work with the color palette, then I just I'm gonna have to sit it out for some reason. I don't know what my deal is. And I've been in a little bit of a tender spot anyway, so's yeah, yeah, and I've been super sensitive to a lot of things.

Yeah same.

Speaker 2

Oh really, what's going on?

Speaker 1

I don't know. I don't know either which earlier it's like, I'm not I'm off my period. I don't know.

Speaker 3

Like I wondered if it was like a moon thing or a retrograder, Like it's that kind of feeling like I woke up this morning and like literally could cry. I saw Kat get out of the car, and I wanted to like curl up in her lap, and I was like, I'm so glad that you're just still in the driveway and she was like me too. And I was like, I don't know why I'm so needy. It's weird, and I have my husband home and that feels good. I don't know something.

Speaker 4

I think a lot of things. This, this can become a whine about it. So I can remember when we were in literally like a couple of saraby before we got married. Okay, stick with me, And I can remember this guy who did it for us, who talked about, you know, when you pick on people, like in a marriage specifically, especially like when you pick on each other, and that's kind of like your love, like it's funny and it's all those things.

Speaker 1

It's all those things.

Speaker 4

But when you get a couple of years in and you pick on her because she dropped the dishes or something, it's not funny in that moment and she gets upset or whatever. I can just remember him saying that, I'm like, no, no, no, whatever. Well that is become so true for me especially, and I've noticed that like with our family as a whole, we all kind of like pick on each other and like it can be hilarious, and it can be funny, and it can be fun and it can be all

the things until someone's feelings are hurt, you know. And so it's like it's just been something that I've noticed a lot lately, and I'm like, oh, I'm sensitive to that. Like I know it's true, but like I'm sensitive to that, or like you know, Nick Nay said the other day we were talking about something. He was like, Okay, you know,

it's like your mom says that I'm needy. He's like, I am needy, but like in that other moment, it hurts his feelings If I say that in that moment it's funny and we're all laughing about how he's needy or whatever. It's just been a common thing in our family in general lately, and I am just more sensitive to those.

Speaker 1

Kinds of things lately. Yeah, I think everybody is. Maybe as you get older or I don't know, I don't know.

Speaker 3

I remember my dad was a crier, Like he cried a lot as he got older, and I was.

Speaker 1

Like, oh, maybe there is something to know, Like don't we just get like a little more tender as we get older.

Speaker 2

Is there a point for you cat that you can go because I think back, Okay, this is probably what's making me sensitive about something that happened a couple of days ago, which is why it carries on and today. So is there something where you can go This was said about X that made me feel maybe sensitive today or something that happened or was it because I we didn't put the notes in the I restore mask on Instagram.

Speaker 1

I'm kidding, No, it's not that.

Speaker 8

No, no, no, it's gonna yeah like no, no, no, I know, I'm like, yeah, you know, I think for me, it is more like that kind of stuff will drive me crazy in a like I'm hard on myself kind of way.

Speaker 4

Like if I didn't put the things in the notes or whatever we were right, that is that hits me different. But if it's like something I know about myself that I think people see in a negative way but pointed out, I get really sensitive to that and they can get sensitive to that well, like and I kind of told Kristen this and not, you know, not to bring this out on here.

Speaker 1

But like guys, sometimes I forget we're recording.

Speaker 2

I know, did I say something?

Speaker 4

No, Well, it's kind of both of y'all but not in a bad way. Again, this is where I'm saying it's no, no, this is where I'm saying.

Speaker 8

It's that's where you had the gratitude thing. Yeah, like that's joking.

Speaker 1

Yeah yeah. But I came in with the old mom on the second and I.

Speaker 4

Told and I just I told her on that because she was like, hey, let's talk about San Diego. And I said, hey, that thing on the thing kind of you know, I'm like, and she's like one of the most sounds like I'm super sensitive too, like.

Speaker 1

Right now, but I told her saw it. I was like, I don't there's there's.

Speaker 4

Not even a reason to be sorry, because like like I told Nick, and he was like, oh, I didn't realize that that would And I was like, one hundred percent, and in any other day it probably wouldn't bother me. But for some reason, I think because I see that as a negative in me, uh huh, then if people joke about it, I'm like, oh, see that negative too.

Speaker 1

I just thought you were responsible.

Speaker 2

No, but I mean I get that, like there's sometimes when we all say one hundred percent, you know where it's like you'll make a joke.

Speaker 4

I actually said this to Nick when I said it, because it's like, oh, I'm surprised that you're He basically said, I'm surprised you're being sensitive to that. And I said, but it's like in the other regard, I'm sure. I know for a fact, I have said things to Janna that probably like I meant as a joke that we're like, okay, thank.

Speaker 1

You, like you know what I mean. It's like we all do.

Speaker 2

But I know you your intention one.

Speaker 4

Hundred percent, That's what I'm saying. I know y'all's intention is not to be like, oh my god, you know whatever.

Speaker 2

Right.

Speaker 1

I think it's.

Speaker 3

Hysterical because we were there for literally twenty seven minutes the beach, Oh the beach. We got there and had very limited time.

Speaker 1

Yeah. Well, and I think for me so much.

Speaker 3

So I wanted to tell Janna that I was pregnant and I didn't even have time.

Speaker 2

Just so people understand, Yeah, yeah, yeah, we Kristin and I went to the beach to write our intentions, and on here we talk a lot about how we will write our intentions out in the sand or do therapy

things like the bear in the Woods and so. And you don't like that form of certains it's too like touchy emotional, right, So there was a Julie Solomon had group messages in our queendom chat saying, hey, guys, there's this group thread of a gratitude thing where every day we say something that we're grateful for, and so you know, let me know if you want to be added on

to it. So we're like, yeah, yes, yes, And so Catherine had said add me too, and so I just I think I said shocked or something like I'm shocked or yeah, or like an exclamation point or something. Yeah, And because I just didn't think because of the other stuff that it wouldn't be your cup of tea.

Speaker 1

Right, which is fair. I understand that. I think for me, I could see how that might have hurt you. So I apologize.

Speaker 4

No, there's honestly, like, honestly, there's no need to apologize, Like I know, kind of like when you're in a bad mood, like on your period.

Speaker 1

Like I know I'm being sensitive, you know what I'm.

Speaker 2

Saying, But if it's still her your feelings, it's still something like I shouldn't. Well, that's awesome that you want to be on that group chat because it's something that is a graded you know too.

Speaker 1

Right, absolutely, And here's the deal.

Speaker 4

I may not send it in, I may not be super whatever on it, but I do enjoy that other people like that. I do enjoy seeing that. I do like to push myself. I think when it goes back to this, all goes back to we were on the road for wind down. I was tour managing, which is stressful for me, and so during the day on those days, I like to stay in, do my emails, get prepared for the day, and then usually y'all kind of like

to go out and do stuff. I mean, I would love to do that too, but I'd rather be prepared for the night because it stresses me out. So when I think back to that and y'all going to the beach, I don't remember y'all saying y'all were going to write your intentions in the sand. I thought y'all were just going to the beach. I don't know that we had a plan. I don't think y'all planned on doing.

Speaker 2

When we told you, you're like, yeah, not my thing or somebody.

Speaker 1

I don't think that y'all had in my mind. Y'all hadn't told me y'all we're going to do that. Y'all were just going to go to the beach. We knew. Yeah, I don't think you're just gonna it's it. And I think y'all told me when you got that I was.

Speaker 3

Going to tell everybody about the secret baby. I was caring, but we didn't have enough time.

Speaker 4

Right right, right fast, And so I think it goes back to It just goes back to that, and I see that as a negative in myself that I'm not comfortable with that kind of stuff.

Speaker 1

So then when it.

Speaker 4

Gets why I see that as a negative though, well I think other people see that as a I don't know. I don't think it's negative at all. Well, it's just something I see it.

Speaker 2

It doesn't resonate. But why, right, I guess.

Speaker 1

Because I should want to be able to Why I don't know. I don't know.

Speaker 3

Listen, when things could too woo woo for me, I don't want to do those things like right, it would be in the safety of the fact that like it's Janaus.

Speaker 2

Just because everybody else likes or other people might like it, doesn't mean you should like it.

Speaker 1

That's true.

Speaker 2

Some people's like you should read more, right, or so you should read because other people are reading. It's good for you will know. If you don't want to read, you don't have sure that you want to read?

Speaker 1

Yeah, sure for sure.

Speaker 2

So anyway you that Or is it because it's a go deeper because you're more emotional?

Speaker 1

Probably Yeah, I'm sure it's way deeper.

Speaker 3

Sure do you want to get I don't always down.

Speaker 2

I just say, like, is it deeper? Is it because you don't want to.

Speaker 8

Tell you if I'm told you now because I am super down, if I'm getting sensitive about it.

Speaker 4

Generally, yes, it's going to be Otherwise, like obviously it's a joke. It's no big deal, you know what I mean. Like, generally it's going to be a little deeper than that.

Speaker 1

Like even.

Speaker 4

Like I even said to Nick and I was like, because like it was you know, we'll also commented on my post.

Speaker 9

Back to back, if I'm being honest, we did, privately, you did on Instagram on Instagram too, we do which one you'll make the comment on Instagram.

Speaker 4

I think that's why the text hit me so much, because it had.

Speaker 1

Already been commented on my Instagram. Yeah, somebody I learned apologize at the front door of your house.

Speaker 2

I was like, I didn't I hear san Diego photo. I was like, did you write your intentions in this?

Speaker 4

And then I'm on my text and I was like, and so I'm telling Nick and I go, I go.

Speaker 1

I go, and you laughed and he goes. I thought it was funny. I didn't know what was happening. I was like, no, I'm just saying it.

Speaker 4

Just in that moment, it kind of felt like it was all piling on a little bit, you.

Speaker 2

Know, it's funny.

Speaker 1

Though.

Speaker 2

After that, I almost thought, is she gonna be? I was like, no, she's not gonna be. Like I almost think it depends I texted you you know, you know that was just a joke, and.

Speaker 4

Yeah, I think it depends on when it hits me. And I'm just more sensitive right now. I really do, because that's what I was telling her outside because I wanted to cry.

Speaker 3

I was like, I never want to make you feel sad like it makes me want to cry right now.

Speaker 1

I don't know why I'm more sensitive, right I don't know either, And look at me.

Speaker 4

I had the tears because I made you sad and we all let me just say, and I I am so guilty of this, so please don't take it.

Speaker 1

We all joke with each other. We all nervous.

Speaker 4

I hate no, I'm inspired, I get nervous. We all do this in our family. We do this in our friendships. Like we say things that we are trying to be funny and pick on each other that it just depends on when it hits.

Speaker 1

I will say, Preston and I have had a little bit of this.

Speaker 3

He's been home a little bit, like a tiny bit, and that's an adjustment in itself, sure, but like I'm not like my role in the house is this and this and this, Like I'm the A type and I'm the organized and bah blah blah blah, and I'm like, well, somebody fucking has.

Speaker 1

To be you know.

Speaker 3

Like I start to get a little bit like do you I mean, I would love to just kick it for a day, but I don't if I do that, yeah, you know, Like so I'm with you.

Speaker 1

Like that has been like a tender point for me.

Speaker 4

We literally and Anaheim are all picking on each other in this hotel room. So this is everywhere, all picking on each other, all doing something. Well, Kayden did something that upset Ramsey, but it was hilarious and we're all dying laughing. Well, then it's like quiet and I'll look over her and she's crying, but it's also still hilarious, so we're all trying to not laugh.

Speaker 1

But that's where I realize.

Speaker 4

I'm like, she might laugh about that tomorrow, but in this moment, she's crying, so I'm like, can it stop, you know whatever. So it just it rolls over in all aspects of life. It's just been an interesting thing to see because I'm not always sensitive to it, but sometimes i am. It's just it's been fascinating. So anyway, I'm not mad at y'all, and I love y'all.

Speaker 2

I think it's actually really glad we talked about it, because I think it's a good point. Like you said, Catherine, everyone deals with this where when you're that close, whether it's a close friendships or a relationship, you say things thinking it's going to be funny, and quite possibly it is funny, but it's the wrong time.

Speaker 1

Number seven.

Speaker 2

Then people's feelings can get hurt because essentially you are making fun of somebody or something totally you know, even though you can all laugh about it at one point, but sometimes you're not going to laugh about it, So It's a very valid thing and just a reminder to yep, be cautious of people's feelings in that moment when you do it. And I'm sorry, I can't wait to write.

Speaker 1

I can't wait to write. We're going to Wilmington this weekend and we're going to write some intention.

Speaker 9

Circle circle right here, we'll post.

Speaker 1

I'm going to work on and you don't have to like that. I don't have to like it, but I'm going to do it.

Speaker 2

Or think that you should or not like that part of you. You know, there's many things that people you know, there's things there's many things that people don't it.

Speaker 3

I do love this friendship though, too, because the other thing is is I like that we allow each other to change. That has been something I've noticed in my forties where like you almost to like, you know, We've had a guest on where we kind of talked about she got pigeonholed to be a certain role at one

point and it was like this stereotype or whatever. It's like I have done so much learning and changing and healing even in the last like five years that like, I enjoy that the friends I have with me are like watching me do that and are like, oh, this is like she's she didn't do that anymore or whatever, And I like that about like and that.

Speaker 1

We can talk about it on air for everyone to hear.

Speaker 4

Yeah, sometimes I forget ye, I didn't think we were I had a whine about it, and here we go to tell y'all, I have.

Speaker 1

A whine about it's you. Oh wait, we are not supposed to call people that I would see you.

Speaker 5

Welcome to Casual Chaos, where I'm telling my story unfiltered, unedited, and unapologetic for a moment you didn't see on camera, to secrets nobody's dared to spill. I'm bringing you behind the scenes like never before. I'm talking love life because let's be real here, it's been a journey wellness and the truth behind the headlines, and of course I've got the receipts. Plus I'll be sitting down with some of the biggest names in pop culture for casually chaotic conversations

you won't hear anywhere else. So pour yourself and espresso martini and get ready because once you start listening, you'll be waking up in the morning thinking about so many things. Listen to Casual Chaos starting on March twenty fourth, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your.

Speaker 2

Podcasts headline, Kim Kardashian is considering filing for full custody of her and Kanye West kids after public drama. I've been kind of under not really reading into a lot of this, but apparently there's a song that Kanye did with Sean Diddy Combs which feature featured vocals from his and Kardashian's eldest child, North, and it seems that they are kind of going back and forth. And you know, she said she sent the paperwork over so she wouldn't

be in the ditty song to protect her. And meanwhile West applied allegedly replied and neither of us will recover from the public fallout. You're going to have to kill me. So there seems to be a big back and forth. What are y'all thoughts? We need to go to our local Kardashian expert.

Speaker 4

There's no way I would allow my child to be released on that song.

Speaker 1

I mean, one thousand there is a zero way.

Speaker 4

And I am proud of him for standing up to that, and something needs to be done. There's zero way.

Speaker 1

I don't know anything about this song. Well, it doesn't matter. It's he's got a ditter.

Speaker 2

Why would he want a song with him to begin with.

Speaker 1

I don't know when it was recorded.

Speaker 2

But that's besides the thing exactly.

Speaker 4

But like I would hope this is recorded before anyone knew this information. First of all, right, second of all, it all goes null and void now I'm sorry.

Speaker 1

Yeah, like it is done with.

Speaker 2

If he wants to put it out, fine, that's his. I mean, he's gone on his own little rants about awful things. But to have your daughter in it. If I was him, I one thousand percent agree with you, Catherine and Kristen. Like I, I would fight tooth and nail in every court to not have that released.

Speaker 4

I think of all the things that I've heard about, that they've gone through, that they've thought about.

Speaker 1

This would be like a game changer for me.

Speaker 3

There's a lot of Kanye stuff right now that I'm like, I want full custody just because I want full custody for a minute.

Speaker 1

Yeah, I don't, Well, you get your shit together.

Speaker 2

I think it's hard. There's a lot of things obviously that we see we don't know what's how opening in closed doors, so it's you know, it's obviously if a child's being endangered and not taken care of properly, then yes, absolutely full custody.

Speaker 1

I think it's.

Speaker 2

Still so important to have their dad in their life, so hopefully they can figure out something.

Speaker 3

But I don't mind full custody with visitations and some monitoring. Well, I think we have someone who's a little unwell right now.

Speaker 4

Maybe there's just a way for her to have control over I don't even know, like over that kind of stuff, like they still get to see their father, that I still get to be around him obviously, but like those kinds of decisions, he doesn't seem to be making the best.

Speaker 1

And a parent.

Speaker 2

It's hard though, because someone could say that they're on the shows and social media and that's not good for kids either to be a part of it. So just I'm and if he never condone anything that he's doing. Yeah, and that's actually a very I'm just playing the other Absolutely, that's a very good point.

Speaker 4

And I think that if he had a problem for it for a second, they shouldn't be allowed to be on there. I mean, it takes two parents to agree to things like that for children. The song and the show. So if he disagreed for a second for the show, I don't think that she has a right to have them on there takes.

Speaker 2

To did they disagree about them?

Speaker 1

I don't know.

Speaker 4

Yeah, that's why I'm saying I would think not if they're on there, because I think legally you have to have approval.

Speaker 2

By I don't know, But it's just I don't know. There is you know, stuff to say about all that, you know, I mean, Mike and I've had conversations about it.

Speaker 1

They've been.

Speaker 2

A part of the social media, part of my social media, his social media obviously so. But it's more when things turn to spie versus Sure, but I think in this area it's not about spite. It's about Sean Didycombs, who's a known woman like abuse her and of young exactly so that.

Speaker 3

And their father, who does not have anything politically correct to say in his body right now, is also a liability in my opinion.

Speaker 2

I fully am just like you know. Of course, Mama Bear is showing up and rightfully so, yeah, I agree. Do you guys watch Did you guys watch Christine Quinn on selling suns Up? Yes, so she has pulled back the curtain on her hairrowing split from her ex and the abuse, and she said, I didn't really have a choice. I was granted an emergency protective order some X can come to the house. He violated that and would keep

coming back. She said it was very difficult to stay in a hotel during during this time, and later a couch surf with friends since she felt she couldn't go home. What's worse, she says, is that she didn't have access to her own personal accounts, including her bank accounts, credit cards, email account because her ex command dear command, what is that command? Come and com and dear thank you her phone number. People really don't know. I was hacked out

of my entire life. I was stripped of my life overnight. I literally had nothing. It was to humanizing.

Speaker 1

Awful.

Speaker 2

I don't I didn't. I didn't watch really selling Sunset when Christine was on there. But regardless, I mean to be to be in that situation and not, you know, not be able to have access to anything. I mean, I remember when my first abuser kicked me out of the we were at the arch Stone apartments. I mean I had nothing like literally locked me out of the place.

It was all in his name everything, and that was by that point, it was like I had no friends, no nobody to like go to, so it was like knocking on doors kind of sleep at your place, you know. So it's just it's awful. It's awful. What are your all thoughts?

Speaker 4

I mean, I don't I don't have a big opinion on it. I know that she has a really not the best rap from the show, so I feel like people will have a lot of negative to say towards her. But this is sad, and no matter who you are or how people look at you or whatever, from a show like abuse is not okay. And I don't even understand how she got locked out of everything.

Speaker 1

That's crazy.

Speaker 4

But I mean, she lived a very very lavish lifestyle and then to be locked out of everything, it's hard for everybody. I'm not saying, but I can imagine it was very traumatizing for her, going from a lot of money, a very nice house, all the things too, having nothing.

Speaker 1

Is He commented it all not that I know of, not that I've seen.

Speaker 4

And he wasn't really on the show. It was all kind of weird. Honestly, it seemed weird a little bit to me. On the show like she had a baby, kind of out of nowhere, kind of just happened quickly. I feel like, maybe not out of nowhere, but it just seemed and he wasn't really involved in it, so everything seemed a little odd, a little off. But I mean I read something where it's like he would like lay in front of her car for her to not leave and stuff like. It was just all really bizarre behavior.

So I hate that for anybody.

Speaker 2

And I would say for those people getting in those or not knowing that they're getting into that relationship, but always to always have control of some account or finances so that you're not left absolutely nothing.

Speaker 4

And she obviously did the show, and she obviously has sold homes, so she has obviously made some of her own money. It's not like whether she was or wasn't, it's not okay, but some of that money was her earned money as well, that she should have a right, you know, she should be able to get totus.

Speaker 2

Jason Isaiahs calls out double standard of being asked about full frontal scenes. I don't watch White Lotus, but he was basically saying how he had showed full frontal. I don't know much about that show or anything like that. I just personally don't think there needs to be so much nudity in everything.

Speaker 1

Literally everything agreed.

Speaker 2

But he says he goes to talk about the perspective of Anora and substance for the nudity in there, I think a little nudity is I just think people are getting I think it's getting out of hand.

Speaker 3

I watched a show and I can't even recall what it does. It doesn't matter, but I remember we watched it, and Preston and I like three episodes in He's like, I feel like we're watching porn. Like it was that graphic that I was like taken back, like I didn't even and it didn't apply, you know, like I missed the kind of Ross and Rachel under the sheets, you know, or like cut scene to the next morning, or you know, like, yeah, there's just some mystery left in that and sweetness about it.

Speaker 1

I agree.

Speaker 4

I do think his point, though, is valid and interesting that it does seem to be a double standard how many vaginas are on TV and movie compared to penises.

Speaker 3

Now, then, do I necessarily want to bess because there's way more women's breast.

Speaker 4

That's true, I think that's kind of his point, is the double standard here, like why can women go around being naked all over these shows that men can't?

Speaker 1

And it's kind of always been that.

Speaker 4

Way, Like it's it's so much more shocking to see a full frontal of a man than it is a woman.

Speaker 1

But is that because we are women?

Speaker 9

Do?

Speaker 1

I think it is? In general?

Speaker 4

I think it's because it's been that way for so long. Not many as full frontal.

Speaker 2

I mean, the first time that I've ever seen the full frontal was that movie sex Life. Sorry to the TV show. Yeah, that was the first time that.

Speaker 1

Probably that it doesn't happen much, But I just don't like why.

Speaker 2

That's what I always why for what reason?

Speaker 1

But I feel that way about both agreed this.

Speaker 4

I'm saying, like I agree with him in the sense that it's a double standard, but also why do we need to see any of it?

Speaker 2

If we want? Would?

Speaker 3

That's where I'm at, Like it's wild and you're and you're getting into shows where it's like I don't even know what the radiants count for anymore because it's like mature audience and it's like oh okay, well yeah, or you know whatever, and all of a sudden, I'm watching things and I'm like, this is wildly graphic.

Speaker 2

They're just like it's starting to desensitize people too. And that's what I just think about it, which is why what porn does to people? Right, So when porn doesn't satisfy the needs or the eyes, then they go deeper into it.

Speaker 1

Yeah.

Speaker 3

Absolutely, So I don't like any of it. I don't need to see anybody about my husband. That's my official stance.

Speaker 4

I just think ninety nine percent of the time, like you said, there's no point for it now there.

Speaker 1

I know what's going to happen. There might be like a comedy or something that there was like a point to.

Speaker 4

It, like whatever, okay, towel drops like and it's supposed to be fun you know, Okay, fine, but like do we don't like it?

Speaker 2

And something's got to give with Jack Nicholson when his butt's showing when he's walking, like that's funny.

Speaker 4

That's funny, and there's a point for there. Just always naked, it's like what we don't like.

Speaker 3

Yeah, also like we already know what that like. We're good, yeah, solid, see, I'm with you. How can I establish healthy boundaries with my in laws when they constantly disregard my wishes and make me feel like a bad mom. My husband and I have had several conversations with them, but things never improve. His family is overbearing, passive, aggressive, and judgmental, and if I stand up for myself, it only makes things worse.

Although my husband supports me and is bothered by their behavior, it's still challenging to find a balance that allows us to maintain a relationship with them without causing too much stress. We're trying not to cut them off completely, but attending every event, holiday and birthday feels like it only exacerbates the tension. Their behavior is affecting my mental health. I'm experiencing significant significant anxiety, feeling judged constantly, and it's difficult

not to care about their opinions. They use social media to weaponize their opinions, and even though I know it's not true, they make me feel like my kids love my husband more than me. How do I maintain my confidence as a mother and protect my mental well being in this environment without losing the connection with my husband's side of the family.

Speaker 1

Wow?

Speaker 4

Whoa uh, Well, my answer is probably not the best one. I mean, I would have like hardly any access. I wouldn't allow that to continue, which we've had to do with my own family. Like I feel like my family's a little judgmental. The access is not there, and if they're doing it on social media, that's wild. That's wild, and there would be there Facebook. They also I've had to unfriend.

Speaker 2

I'm I don't know how to get I'm.

Speaker 4

Yeah, but like I have unfriended people family members on Facebook.

Speaker 1

Oh wow.

Speaker 4

Yeah, because it's just a lot, and not because they're attacking me or my family, but I have seen them attack other people in our family and it's just too much. I think you just don't personally for me and my mental health. Less access if you're going to judge me or not. If I don't walk away feeling positive. Now, I can do some some holidays and you know, just try to not let it get to me.

Speaker 1

You know.

Speaker 4

I know that that's easier said than done. I could do a few holidays, but less access is my answer.

Speaker 3

Kristin, I would agree, un looks less access. I also think, like the husband wife teamwork is the critical part. Yeah, because it feels isolating if you're the only one that really feels that we are the only one challenging.

Speaker 4

It sounds like that they I think she said that they have had conversations together, and yeah.

Speaker 2

But that's my husband supports me, is bothered by their behavior. It's still challenging to find a balance.

Speaker 3

Yeah, I think sometimes the husband's and even my personal experience, the husband will agree, but then implementing that is sometimes trickier. Sure, like the actions are trickier for them because it is their parents. Yeah, yeah, I guys, I'm the boundary chick.

Speaker 1

I freaking love it.

Speaker 3

So we've had to do some pretty important, some pretty substantial roles in our lives. Those people are at an arm's length still currently for over a year, just based on some violation of things that hurt and just I honor my house and be in such a safe space. I didn't grow up having my house feel safe, so it really matters to me. I just and I don't. I can't have that in my house and I've worked so hard to make that like a haven for me that Yeah, I can't, just can't budge.

Speaker 2

I would say, just remember you are mom. You know what's best for them, You know what is right for them. Their opinions are only their opinions. And that's exactly what it is. Their opinions. You know what they need and you know what's in your four walls, Like Alan always says, like, what's the truth in your four walls? Fine, yes, we all need to do the birthdays and this, that and the other. But their comments are again their comments, their opinions.

Letting it affect you for what why? You know, you know, you know, we just had this incident. We had some feedback. Well, I'm trying to go thirty thousand feet with the story based on a recent visit from some family members, and it was like, I just I heard Preston start to over explain, and I was like, we I'm we're in the season.

Speaker 1

We don't over explain.

Speaker 3

We don't owe anyone an explanation for how we do life here, and specifically how I do life here, because I'm doing it by myself at least one hundred and fifty nights a year to two hundred nights a year. So whatever the system is that works for us is what works for us. And in that yeah, and I'm not explaining that to anyone specifically this particular person, Mama knows best.

Speaker 2

Amen to that. Yeah, Well, on that note, see you next week.

Speaker 9

Hi,

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