Wind Down with Janet Raymer and I'm Heart Radio Podcast.
So why do I always laugh? I get uncomfortable. That's like the I laugh when I'm uncomfortable. Same like it's even when I'm I probably have laughed one time when we fought her.
I can think of a very specific time.
So I just get so uncomfortable.
I do the same.
Oh man, why are.
You so uncomfortable right now?
Well, because we have to break another announcement, another announcement, another announcement. So I sold the house.
Yeah, yeah, thank god.
Yes, I thank god. Your husband is about to get nick is my obviously her her husband, and what's excess and her husband is my realtor and it's sold. It's so stressful, by the way, Well, the market's so interesting, yeah, so interesting right now. And from watching Selling Sunset, I've just been you know, like because they've been talking about the market.
Oh, I love Selling Sunset.
Have you watched it all? Yeah, it's an off air. I have to tell you a funny conversation that I had with one of the cast mates texted me. But sorry that was rude to you guys. But yeah, so because it's like it's just wild right now. It is some things are selling, some things aren't. I'm not really worried about like because I know interest rates will always they're always up and down.
But I'm stressing about interest rates and it's like, don't stress so much about that, and just like do do world Also, we get so used to the being so low. Those were not it was like down to like what three yeah, yeah, or even less, which is not what it's you know, traditionally been so right.
But yeah, so that piece, I'm like what I was getting worried about. I was like, I can't afford two mortgages, and then he wants to make the worst was we were doing like this walk through at the new house and the builder was like good news. He's like, I know, I told you October November. He's like it's looking like August, and Nick goes fu.
He didn't come home and he was like, damn, builder told her August.
And so now that I'm like a big Ted Lasso fan, I just my Ry Kenton impersonation. You have to watch it. I need you to watch it. It's going to be over so sad. But yeah, he was just like fuck so yeah. So but so I got a little worried, and I know we priced it high, but at the time, like things were just like time at the time, Yeah, we had just missed that window though when we priced your high and no.
One really knew what was going to necessarily happen.
Yeah, like someone in my neighborhood, oh did it, Like they're right at the right time. And there's was like sold for more than what my house sold for now and it's like there's this less square footage like not. But I was like, but I'm like, you know, at that time, I didn't know I was building a new house, right, So but anyways, yes, the household we've been it's been crazy because I thought I've had I would have a lot of time to get out of the house, right.
So like the new people coming in are just a wonderful couple, Like they're so sweet and they're like, yeah, like stay free rent for the month of June, like just stay take your time.
We know you're a MoMA.
Too, And I was like cool, cool, thank you. And then breaking news, I booked a movie yay, and so I have to leave when does this there? Oh I'm leaving today.
I'm leaving today.
So I'm leaving today. To go shoot a movie and so yeah, yeah, so I you know, obviously the rewind a week where I'm at present time, present day. I have to pack the entire house and you know me, like I'm like with my money. So I'm like, I'm gonna pack it. I won't hire because I had someone come over. I was like, whoo stickers, sticker shock, I'll pack it. Never mind. So like, so I've been doing like that and it's been like kind of stressful but
also like so great because here's the deal. I went to therapy last week and remember in the beginning of the year, I don't think I spoke about it on the podcast, but I was like I was depressed because everything was like a bubble above like I couldn't touch it. I'm like, Amy, i feel like there's this, and there's you know, maybe this movie and like maybe this and like I don't know, and like the house and like all these like things and I'm like I can't pop it.
I can't. It won't come down, you know what I mean. Like I'm like and I just feel like I'm stuck. And this is like the worst beginning of the new year. Like I'm happy, very happy in a relationship that's great, kids are healthy, but I'm like, work wise, just stress wise with the house, I'm just like I don't understand, like nothing's moving. She's like, well, let me talk about seasons and everyone has like different seasons and all those things. This season has been breaking news.
This is your.
Season, Like all of a sudden, it was like ture your season. And that's but that has like helped me go Okay, truly, it's just like you're never I'm never not gonna work again. Yeah, I'm never the house was never not going to sell, but it was truly like it's never gonna I'm never working again. And I got into this really I was depressed. Yeah, like just like no, it's not gonna work. I'm just well, maybe.
That'll help in the next season when it does slow down.
Again, so remind me, Yeah, we'll come back.
To this podcast.
Yeah, because but I think it's like a good reminder that like you're not going to be stuck in that season forever, right because but I truly but when you're in that season, you think you're stuck in that forever. Yeah, Like this is just what it's going to be.
Like, and especially with your career. I mean, it's just definitely.
Lends itself to that situation and it goes it's you know, at ebbs and flows, it's like, we're not very busy, We're not very busy, We're not very busy to holy crap, now we have so.
Much now in a week and the household and I'm booking a movie and I'm going to be gone for a month and now I'm okay, the kids crap.
Well, you know what I mean.
Like it's like all the moving pieces were like and I thrive in that. Yeah, I don't thrive in the seasons of like, yeah, what's going to happen? Right, But it's a good teaching moment. Yeah.
I do think God teaches you in those moments for sure, to sit, not try to control, being patient, all the things.
Yeah, So we did a whole thing in therapy about just kind of remembering that in that moment when it is a bad season. She's like, I'm keeping this letter when you're in back in the season that we were depressed and whatever for you to read to know that like it's not the end, but yes, yeah, because you just don't know. I'm like, I don't know. I don't
know that, wow, Stephen, Like I don't. Yes. So for the people that are in the season right now where things are slow and you don't know when something's coming, like you're going to be okay, your season is going to come. Yeah, So we've announced engagement.
Any like progress like a planning a wedding or like any of the.
Things, well you know, well they don't.
I mean no, I am curious.
Well, y'all could have talked about way more. I mean I'm just curious, like, are y'all starting to like it.
Will be that date next year?
Yeah?
Later later next year. We're just still working on the where.
I cannot tell you how many emails I've gotten from people like like about wedding stuff already, just random. Really, I'm just kind of stashing them a minute because I think they think that you're like planning it like right now.
You know, well, given my history, that would be a very just wise observation. Yes, but no, we're going to wait until next like later next year. How sold. We're going to be in a rental for a month of July and August and then write like a few miles down the road from you. It's gonna be fun.
Friday working summers of you.
We yeah boo. Book in a movie, which I'm so excited about. It is the coolest script ever. It's so fun. I'm gonna be riding horses and I can't tell you where Arizona like it's gonna be.
I wish I could come out there. I love it.
Needy movies, you wouldn't be able to find it exactly.
I'm not coming to them nowhere here so sorry nowhere.
I wish I could.
It would be so fun in the first week as heck, yep, it's gonna be great. But god, this is like where I get like pitted in my stomach, pitted.
I know.
I'm the worst with analogies. There is also something else that I have to tell you, guys, So how many people you think, like, because did you see when I teased out like we have another announcement coming? What what did they say?
They said it was like half and half with Book and being pregnant.
So there is going to be another A wine down baby. This makes me.
God, I can breathe look at that.
Bumping. So yeah, I am I am, I am, I am? I am pregnant about how pregnant? When this airs fifteen weeks, wow, which I would have liked to have kept a little bit. I would have I would have liked to have not shared as early. I know they say, like it's okay to share when you're twelve or whatever, but fifteen it's been really hard to hide. Yeah, this pregnancy obviously third baby. I mean at twelve weeks, I was like, oh I got a bomp. Oh.
People have definitely been picking up on it.
Yeah, and they're like obviously, I mean there's you know, the people that's online or whatever, some of the things that you've sent me to and they've sent me as well, they're like, are are you pregnant? Like you haven't shown that you're wearing a sweater and it's eighty degrees out, you're wearing really flowy dresses. You usually show your body.
Off, wear the workout in the mirror or selfies.
I know, I was like, well that shot me in the damn foot those workout mirror selfies.
Yep.
Because the other day I was like I tried to within the book announces been coming. I'm like, I got to post a photo that doesn't show a bump, so to maybe like get them off the like pregnancy idea, right, right, But then someone's like, oh, you're totally pregnant. You never take a picture with your like workout t shirt on. I was like sports Bro sports Bru. So I was just like, all right, Catherine, we gotta.
Like these people know you. That's all I know.
Well, and it's funny too because I'm like trying to like film things and I'm like, oh my god, okay, the bump. So I'm like, you know, putting my phone higher and so. And I've also been so sick too, so I've been like puking so the like the from five weeks to like twelve, I'm I'm still puking a little bit. But I was just miserable on my stories and I was super like absent and gone on my stories. So yeah, that's why I'm like, are you feeling better now?
So I puked the other day? M Yeah, but I only puke like once a day now, like in the mornings.
Oh so that's not good. Yeah.
Uh but yeah, it's been a shock. It was a shock. I didn't think I could get pregnant.
Yeah, no, I know you didn't.
I And I told people, like when I dated people that I wouldn't have a baby.
I know.
I feel like, yeah, just conversations so many times, would you have a baby with and You're like no, and I was like, yeah you will.
Oh I know he was a run persons. I was like, you're like would you I'm like no, yeah, and You're like you did.
I knew why new new, knew new. I don't know.
I just feel like when I think in general, and not just necessarily you, I think a lot of women once they've gotten divorced and they find someone else they love, they want to have a child with that person. And also like a lot of your pregnancies and births and stuff were a little tainted. So I feel like you kind of wanted to do over a little bit, whether you knew it or not.
Right, and not in a bad way. I don't mean that in like a negative.
Way, no, but they were yeah. Yeah. It's like I mean, if you read the whatever first Fight, first book, Good Fight or whatever, it was like, you know, I found out something and then I found out, but I was like, oh, like nothing was enjoyable, Like yeah, when I was pregnant, Jolie, he was you know, and so it's like, yeah, you're right, like everything was.
Yeah, so you deserve to have a happy pregnancy.
That would be yeah, yeah, but no, I just I didn't think, I mean with all the miscarriages. And then so when he had asked me, he's like, would you want to have another baby? He's the first person that I was like with you, yeah, I would, but and then I remember, you know, being upset, going like I just don't think I could, like and I don't like if you really want one, I might not be like your girl, because I don't know if I can physically
carry a baby again, I don't know. Yeah, And so he's like, no, no, he's like, he's like I don't. He's like, I've got, you know, my son and then my stepdaughter. He's like, but you know, it's like it would be so beautiful to have something together. And I'm like, I agree with you, I would. I would love that. But if it's something like again, like you're really wanting it,
like I don't think. I'm like, I don't want you to be like, oh, well I should have been with someone else or whatever, because I like, as a woman that has had like a bunch of miscarriages, I feel broken and I don't you don't feel like in a way it's a weird to say this, like, yes, I know I'm a woman, but like when you miscarry that many times you're like, am I I can't even carry a baby, right, So I'm like, I don't want to
relive that again. Feeling that way that was awful, So like when we had talked about it, because we had a pretty like in depth conversation about it in the new year, because I'm like, look, I'm gonna be forty in December, and you know, I don't know if I go. I don't know if I could possibly go through another miscarriage emotionally, if I could handle that. So I don't
know if I want to because of that reason. And then the other side of it was we could sarrogate and we could do IVF, because right I did IVF with the two kids. Obviously I lost those ones, but then got pregnant naturally from I think being on the IVF medicine. But I said we could do IVF and
saragate it. But then it's like I miss out, like what you said on like having that like enjoying that pregnancy with someone that I know is being faithful and like loves me and like going like experiencing that and to have that like moment that I've always like the way that it should have always been. So I fought with myself. I'mlike that, I'm like, I don't know what to do, and so this is the wildest thing is I kind of as a woman, I'm like counting. I'm like,
all right, I don't. I also know I don't want to be like in my forties personally trying. I'm like, I have two beautiful, healthy children, and like I don't need to have another one. I would love to have something that we created together that would be so beautiful, so silver lining, so like the the you know, the the glue to the you know, the blended family, Like I would love that. But I also like, you know, I kind of want to when I'm in my forties, like I want to travel and enjoy and like my
kids are getting older and like it's getting easier. So I go, if we try this month, it'll be before my fortieth birthday and then maybe it's just a god thing and then after that, let's just see. But in my mind, I'm like it's a one and done. Oh really, in my mind, that's why I try one month, try one month, and just be like, hands up. If it's meant to be, it's gonna happen. If not, I don't want to do that. The trying and then losing and then like the aid, I'm just like, I don't you know.
If it's meant to be, it's gonna happen.
Yeah, And here we are, and here we are. I guess I was mental.
So yeah, I was shocked, but it was also like freaky because I bled so bad, so I was like bleaming, like gushing blood, and I'm like, all right, here we go. I'm misscaring. Here we go, like and I'm bawling my eyes out and he's you know, he's he's seeing you know. It was like I couldn't make it to the toilet, so he's like seeing I'm just like bawling. I'm like I told you, like I couldn't do this, like and
it was awful. And so I called my doctor and we you know, rushed to the doctor's office and they're like, baby's still there, but she got a big hemorrhage. So she's like and then I was freaking out. And then so then every like two days for like four weeks, we went back because I kept bleeding and it's so not natural for like, it doesn't it's not nice to like look down and so that's like the worst nightmare
when you've like miscarried before or and pregnant. So we went like yeah, he went every time and showed up and the baby was still fine. And then we have another check cup right before the movie. But yeah, I mean we had the baby had to get bigger than the hemorrhage. And the doctor was kind of like, it's fifty to fifty you'll miscarry, you won't, or you won't,
and like what he heard is it's fine. Yeah. So like we're driving home and I'm bawling my eyes out, thinking I'm going to miscarry, right, and he's like, you're gonna be fine, and go, that's not what she said. She said, it's fifty to fifty I miscarry or I Like, I was like I'm gonna like I just like I'm
gonna lose it. And then and then at that point I was like I wanted it so like I was like because then I was just so I saw the little gummy, little gummy baby, you know, and I was just like and oh, so yeah, but then you know, she's like, let's just keep monitoring and make sure she Once it gets bigger than the hemorrhage, you should be good. Then we'll talk about the third trimester later. I mean,
so she's like, let's just get there. Yeah, and then it got bigger than the you know, I took the progesterone and you know, protected the lining as much as I could. And yeah, so now it's smaller. The hymodge is smaller than the baby.
So I love his positive I know he's so positive, but he's literally heard only it's fine.
I'm like, she didn't say it's fine. She's ad fifty to fifty and I've like, you haven't like been through this piece of you know, so like we weren't like fighting, but you know what I mean, it was just like a very like yeah, he was so sweet to be in the positive stance when I'm just like, it's gonna go it's gonna go away.
You needed that.
I know that was probably hard, like in a sense like you did not hear what she's that. But at the same time, it's like if y'all were both.
Like, oh my god, we're gonna lose this baby, Like yeah, that wouldn't have been good for anybody.
No, and he has been like I can and not tell you how incredible this man is. Like he I have not been able to now I am like built in the last like week, but like when I'm talking, I haven't done a thing around the house. And for like five straight weeks I laid in bed while he cooked and cleaned, did laundry, like I mean all of it. Like would you know take Jase to school? Like he would do drop offs to you know, him and Mike would coordinate with like soccer and like drop offs there
because I'm like I was so sick. Yeah, I mean anything I wanted food wise, I mean what you know, his sweetest thing happened. Oh my god, I wanted to kill him, but it was so sweet. So he's like it's been so hard for him to see me like just eat like bagels and cream cheese. So like one night and this is when I was like still really sick and nauseous, he made me salmon and I was like, don't you ever make me salmon?
It was disco.
I was just like, please remove this from my site immediately.
It was so like sweet, like you need protein, And I was like get it wayed, so like we went to the doctors like that next week he's like should it is it the baby?
Okay?
That it's only getting cream, cheese and bagels, and like doctor Norman, you know, is obviously like you know right now it's fine, like she will eat more food. And I was like, thank you. So this salmon he tried to place.
In front of me the smell alone.
But it was just like he's been so incredible, like it's been just like so sweet and the kids like how we told the kids like well, actually, you know, I'm going to save that and we'll tell it in another episode, but they are so excited. Every day. Jolie's like, hi baby, I'm like, you know, it is like always like up on, I mean every day, like she's just already like so excited. Jace's too, like he'll say, like the first thing he said was can you open it?
Can you?
But the way we told well, the way I told Jolie and then was just really really really special and it was really cool because she has every time Alan and I kiss, she's like you're getting married and having a baby, and I'm like would you want that? Babe? Like is that something would you really want like a little brother, little sister And she was just like yeah, like you know, I want to I want to be
a big sister. I was like, well you are already like to Jason, but like mommy like a baby like in her belly, like is that really what you want? And she was like yeah. I was like, okay, right about it. You never know, so yeah, I was really sweet. So we're really excited and yeah, now I don't have to hide it anymore.
So oh my gosh.
Wind down, We're having another baby. I got so Kristen too, you know.
So close, so oh I'm done.
But I just yes, the belly. I don't you know what you guys are always giving me a hard time my booze being out, and now you're gonna give me a hard time because my belly's gonna be out and I'm gonna show it off like Rihanna. You should because it's my fucking time. I can guarantee you.
That enjoy it. Yeah, no more hiding.
No, but yeah, I'm just I know how grateful. And I know KB said this a lot too. Me used to go on wind down like I I'm very aware how grateful that I am that I'm able to carry, and I pray that this baby stays healthy. And I again, I'm very aware that, like there's many women out there trying and it doesn't make sense when something's happened, and some things don't. But I just want to acknowledge that.
I know it's like tough for other women that go through that, that want a baby and that are struggling. So I don't want to take that away from anybody.
So sure, yeah, I'm really really excited. You're about to be really baby.
I know the gender. We'll keep that one too, you know, I got to keep you guys cliffing, and so.
Until next week, I have to tell that one when Kb's back.
Oh for sure.
Anything else, anything else, I don't know. Do we have any more announcements.
Anything I don't think I can handle. I think, well that's what I'll say this and we can touch more on this. Like another episode is my last therapy appointment I had. I go, I just was like crying, and
she was crying and she's like you've done. She's like, you've just like because I've been with her for three four years now and we're no longer than that four years and She's just like, I'm so happy that you get to experience happiness and joy, and I go and you know, just like USh just crying and and I go. It's really weird. Amy. I was like, I'm kind of waiting. I'm like, am I dying of something? It can't be
all good, Like there has to be a reason. I'm like, as I just feel like I've been so blessed with Alan and my family and how things are with my ex and I and the book and the movie. And I was like, I have so many blessings right now in my life that like I must be I must have terminal cancer, like there must be something that's like like this isn't like that. I don't know how to just I don't know how to like receive, because so
now my whole thing like is now. She's like, I need you to like just sit in gratefulness and receive. She's like, because you're so used to like some like something like finding something or something coming up or trauma where you're just like you can't stay on like sciety ground, like you're not used to like the receiving goodness. I'm like, nope, yep, So that's that's what's working on right now.
I wonder what it's gonna be like.
I know, for everything to just speak great and I tell you what, I use that so Maria and so and everything that I've said has not come to fruition. I wonder what it's going to be like when when I don't miss Carrie. I wonder what it's going to be like when I book that movie. I wonder what it's gonna be like with my house sells boom.
Yeah, it's totally can change.
Your out has completely changed. And I wonder if everything I wonder if I'm going to be I wonder if everything will just be okay.
I why have they weird?
But I love you guys. We're having a baby.
We're having a baby.