Hey, guys, So we are going on the wind Down Tour. Michael and I are so excited. We can't wait to get out there and just talk about life and love and laugh, maybe have a few good cries in there.
You never know with wine Down, and we're gonna bring you know, people from from the seats, from the audience up on stage. We're gonna come out with some microphones. We're gonna get you all involved. It's very interactive, a ton of fun and honestly, some nights we don't even know what's about to go down.
Well, that's the coolest thing about the wind Down Tour is that you know, you guys can ask us questions and you really kind of guide, you guide the night for us. And so we are going to San Antonio, We're going to Austin, We're going to Dallas, We're going to Houston and then Los Angeles and Sacramento. So you guys get your tickets. Go to janakramer dot com slash tour to get your wind Down tickets. So excited to see you guys.
Come on out, y'all.
Wind Down with Janet Kramer and Michael Coffin and I'm her radio podcast Gang's all here.
Just another Monday.
I mean.
You here we go.
No, no, no, I back at it. No, because we've got Easton and Mark too.
I know.
How does it feel like to have like the whole gang? Because last time it was just you and me isolated, isolated in our emotions.
Uh huh. No one wanted a part of that.
Everyone's like, nah, you're good.
You guys got it.
Even if we've been here last week we hung out of that one.
Yeah, I was like, come on, somebody throwss the lifeline.
Hell no. But I mean it's good just to hear y'all's voices and to be back with everybody and just get back into our zone.
Mike, you've kind of learned what you said that you caught yourself the other day with the kids where it's Joelie is just kind of like doing things I think to just get a reaction. Even Jason right now too. But it's what does she do in you were like, you caught yourself to not be like critical.
Yeah, last night I was upstairs with the kids and we were playing like before bathtime and everything in the playroom, and I had Jason my lap and Jolie was playing with this little toy like ukulele and stepped on this like a platform plush thing that we have for Jase to crawl on, and she stepped on the edge of it, so it flipped up. She fell forward, and like you know, usually when kids do that, it's not so much that they got hurt, but it more scares them and they
still cry. So she got scared. She kind of hurt her hand a little bit and started crying. And my immediate, like the first thought that came to mind of what I wanted to say was why would you do that? Like I literally wanted to say that to our four year old daughter, and I had to I had to catch myself and be like, no, it's not what I want to say, and I calmed down. I was like, okay, hey, Joeli, are you okay? I'm sorry that happened. Hey, you know
that happened because you stepped in the edge. So if you want to do that again, just try to step more in the middle then it won't fall on you. But it was just that was my natural reaction to think the other way.
But I was like, wow, what a cool teaching moment, because I think I remember my mom and we've brought this up a few times too. She yelled at me and said something like why would you do that? I was like, well, mom, I don't know. Why won't you like why don't you teach me? Show me how to do it right? And it's like I've remembered that so much now as a parent because I'm like, it's so easy to Joulie, why would Jase? Why would why would
you do that? Like can't you see that it's gonna fall or that you're gonna hurt yourself for this or that or other where it's like, hey, don't do this because this can happen. Like I think, I don't know if it's the we expect them to.
Know that, and I think too a lot of us receive that. I think every kid has received that at some point in time from their parents of why would you do that? Use your head? You know how many times have kids heard that, like why would you use your head? Just use your head?
Okay, you're getting triggered right now, but I mean that really was something for you though, Yeah, where it's.
Like, you know, it was just I would feel stupid and then like shamed and feel like, oh, yeah, why would I do that? I don't know right, you know, but it's at least you said you don't.
I think just like being conscious of it, Like there's gonna be times we're gonna be like what are you thinking? But then it's like kind of been like ah, sorry.
You know, and more so now than when they're like sixteen, and it's like what are you thinking?
Yeah, but isn't that one like you really want your parents to be not your friend. I get the not having your friend, but also not doing kind of what happened with I'm like trying to like with the you know where it's like they you yes, they might have really screwed up, but they've come to you and they told you the truth. So instead of saying what were you thinking, it's like, hey, thanks for coming to me. Or if so they got caught. Let's say one of the kids got caught with like, I would be very
upset with the whole vaping stuff. I'd be so upset if I caught one of the kids vaping, especially with all the I mean, who knows what's going to be vaping at their age, but like let's just say right now, if they're older and they were vaping, and I would be like my first thought would be like, what are you thinking? Like you could die and they don't know, Like, honestly, rather you have a cigarette of.
All of you know, And that's our that's our feelings behind it, that's our reaction, right, But.
I would rather be like, Okay, why did you want to do this? Is? Are there kids that wanted?
You know?
Did you feel cool doing it? Instead of saying why would.
You do this? No, for sure, I'm just saying it's gonna I honestly think when the kids are older, it'll be more difficult to have that pause like I had last night.
Wouldn't you have wanted that from your father?
Oh? I thought I would want it. Every every kid would want that from their parents and I and I'm practicing it now. Is going to be beneficial for the when the kids are older, because that's really when they're going to be developing these skills to learn from and bring into their you know, young adulthood.
What did our couples therapists say the other night where their cortex something in the brain shuts off at at like ten and then doesn't come back online till twenty three, So from like ten to twenty three, there's acting like crazy. Yeah no, but that's that's basically what they said. They're like you just there is no reasoning really right, because they're not really acting from there. It was that they're something some part of the brain.
I don't know. I don't remember exactly. I don't want to say it.
And how you how your kids, how you react to your kids hurting themselves is an interesting conversation because I don't know the right answer because I think moms tend to rush to their child's aid, like, oh my gosh, your poor thing. Are you're okay, where dads tend to be more You're fine, get up, shake it off. And I don't know what the right answer is because I
feel like both can have both can backfire. When you rush in, oh my gosh, you okay, suddenly they know that all they have to do is kind of scrape my knee and I can get this kind of love and attention, and or they'll even think it's a bigger deal than it is, especially when the young If your parent has a big reaction, you're like, oh my gosh, I'm really hurt. What But the other element of it, get up, shake it off. I feel like there was a message there like you just scraped your knee, you're fine,
get up and keep moving. And I tend to be more of the get up and keep moving kind of a guy. But I'm not sure that's the right way to go.
Devil's Advocate does that then, maybe not teach them how to have empathy?
Possibly, Well, it's a way to suppress your emotions. It's a way to like kind of train you to suppress certain emotions.
And but I totally would do the same, like come on, you got to hear fine.
You're fine, up and not to I mean, I have very few wins I feel like in life sometimes, So to go off of my win last night with the kids, I will say, with the topic that we're talking about, I think it was kind of the best of both worlds because Okay, I didn't say, Julie, you're fine, like stop, you're fine, get up, you're good. And I also didn't rush over to her. I sat where I was and I talked to her kindly and softly and said, what
you know, what happened? Do you come here? And she came to me, and I hugged her and kissed her and then explained it to her. So it was. I liked it. I would like to think that it's that was kind of a way to meet in the middle where she didn't get this overbearing reaction of oh my god, but she also didn't get, you know, the dismiss the dismissed feelings.
What if we call it pause parenting, paused parenting, paused parenting where you take a pause.
Easier said than done. And then I know, like there's gonna be some days where when Jason's older, I'm gonna be like, dude, stop being a.
Dick, but stop because that's not that's not what you would have wanted from your dad.
No, but I'm saying when it's an important moment, no, But there's gonna be times where.
He might do something brushing her teeth an important moment.
Okay. What I received is a lot more than hey and playfully stop being a dick.
Okay. I'm just trying to play devils with you here because I just want you to be cautious, because you you don't want the same pattern repeating no.
For sure, trust me, I'll be very conscientious of that. Speaking on the topic of the children, though I don't look at comments really often, but with being back on the podcast. I'm looking at comments just on the podcast app.
Oh don't look.
No, it's the worst, the worst. I think if either one of us look at it will end up fighting each other. But I did, I did. I did see a few, and I've seen these before that I can't not address and I have to defend you me. Yes, because a few people commented about how you talk about Jolie and like shaming you and how you are and playing playing favoritism and all this bullshit, and it got
me irate. I was like, only if y'all could see how is to our kids on a daily basis, y'all wouldn't have to say no. Seriously, it gets me roughed up because that's unbelievable. They don't see what behind what goes on behind closed doors. And this is our podcast. We can speak our opinions, we can vent, we can talk about our kids annoying us and being little head sometimes because they are. Anyone who has kids understands that you want to be able to call them that sometimes
because they are. And yeah, right now, Jace, it's hard for him to do any wrong because he's one years old and he's the most adorable little boy in the world and Jolia is four going on fourteen and she acts like it, So I mean, it's inevitable we're gonna feel that way at times. But this just because we vent or Gina vents about that or talks about it and jokes about it, doesn't mean that she plays favoritism.
Doesn't mean that she speaks that way to Jolie. She's the best mom I know and would do anything for both kids and loves them equally. So it just pissed hery. It pissed me off when I started seeing that stuff because I was like, that's one area that no one has a right to comment about because they don't know.
Mm hmm, So thanks, babe, I appreciate that. My soapbox, Ma, well, no, I appreciate it. You know, people are just gonna That's why I said something there on my Instagram because someone was basically called me. You know. So when we've had the conversation our last podcast, everyone there was a like
ninety percent was super positive. And then I made the mistake of reading comments on a on a other website and those were all obviously terrible, but one of the girls on my Instagram left like a really like nasty DM, and was just like, you know, you're basically an idiot for staying and like that's not showing your kid's strength.
And because of your daughter and how you treat her like a baby, she's going to be like basically messed up until she's fourteen or and jas won't talk until he's fourteen, and then kind of like mocking Jolly's speech delay, I know. And I was like, look, you can go after me and my love life all day long. I
don't care. I've got thick skin, but you talk about my kids and making fun of Jolie and making fun of how like I'm a parent, or criticizing how I parent, or that Jase isn't gonna talk till he's fourteen because you know I treat him like a baby. Like it, I was just like f you. Basically I ended up putting it on my story, but then I took it down because I was like, you know what, I don't want to put the negative out there because I know
there's enough positive. But I did say something where I was like, I I just don't want to say people that well, I just don't understand people who can say mean things about other people's kids, Like I can sometimes like that. You know, there's the kid at the playground and I'm like, hey, I'm gonna don't hurt my kids or be nice.
And oh, yeah, you have no problem going up to a little kid, and.
Well, I know, but I would never like be mean or something.
Oh you've been mean, You've always been respectful.
But so I just don't get people that say mean comments online. It's just really bothered me.
I get that that's rough, that is really rough, and it's scary that that's you know, well you should read those and blah blah blah. And people just love being anonymous on the internet. But it's scary that people have that in them, that they have those thoughts.
Right, And I get.
And I had my friend Brandon, who's so sweet, Brandon Leslie, they're a married friend of ours, and you know, he sent me message he's like, look, he's like, when you're in this world, He's like, you're not going to have one hundred percent approval, right, you just aren't. And that somewhat kills me because I want people to like me, but them at the same time, what I want, what I want, honestly is I want people to disagree with me, but still respect me. That's what I want. I disagree
with a lot of my friends. I disagree with a lot of you know, I disagree with my friend's political background, but I still love her. I'm not going to be disrespectful. That's all I usually ask is you can disagree with me, but don't be disrespectful and that.
But that's just the whole theme of society where that's why politics, religion, all those things are such you know, hot time topics or you know, hot buttons for people at over the holidays or at big gatherings or family reunions or whatever, because people just tend to get disrespectful and heeded about their opinions or going against someone else's opinions when it comes to those kind of things. Yeah, so it's just, I mean, it's just the way it is.
We have our guests here. I'm super excited. We'll introduce them in a minute, but first let's take a break.
Okay, I am real excited.
Who isn't.
Do you want to do the intro?
Janea's nervous of saying the name incorrectly.
I just want to I don't want to mess up Alexa's name because she's beautiful and she deserves the biggest entrance ever.
So everyone, welcome to our studio. Mister Matt Fraser and Alexa Pepagotis, Yes, thank you.
I got it.
He almost got it.
What I messed up? Matt Peas, I said, go didn't? I?
You put the goat in it?
Very difficult.
So on e meet the Frasers Monday, ten ninth Central. How much fun are you guys having doing this together?
Oh my god, it has been a blast, literally a blast.
I know it's not often. I mean, you guys know, it's not often that you get to work with the person you're in love with and with, so to do it all the time. Plus our families is like a dream come true.
Well that's that's the hard part work with the film. Well, I mean our family tends. Some people think us is hard.
Yeah, by dead people. I'm not. I'm haunted by the living. I'm haunted by my family members.
Yeah. Yeah, Who is it? What inspired you guys to kind of combine and do this show together?
So, you know, to be honest with you, I don't even know. One day, great question.
Yeah, I think that I got to recall one day from MGM YEP in Los Angeles, and they learned about our relationship with one another, and they learned about, you know, my life as a psychic medium, and they were like, you know, this would be an incredible TV show to you know, see all parts of it, just not you as a medium, but also you with your girlfriend, and you were with your families, and you know how you interact with one another. So next thing, you know, meet the Phrasius was born.
Well, it's very different. I don't think there's a psychic pageant Italian like show.
I mean, you got a lot of places to go here. I mean, it's just a producer's dream I can imagine.
Well no, that's what I love about it though, too, because it's not just I mean, it's not just about about you. It's it's about the family, it's about the relationship, it's about it, it's all of that. So you're able to not just see the readings, but to see everything that goes on in y'all's life as well. So I think that's a cool new approach. Well, how did they how did they find you? What were you doing to
kind of put that out in the universe? Were you telling the dead people to talk to E like, were you well, I going to remember.
That before before the TV show, you know, I was out touring, so I had sold out events across the country. I had a two year waiting list for private readings before the TV show came about, so, you know, and Alexa was Miss Rhode Island teen, USA twenty seventeen.
Yeah she was, Yes, she was, Yes, she was.
So you know, I was doing my thing, she was doing her things.
So, you know, I never really feel like, you know, I've gotten many calls over the years of different production companies wanting to do a TV show with me. And in the beginning, you know, I've gotten calls like to do shows like about finding you know, missing and murdered children, and that just wasn't that to me was like too sad. They wanted me to you know, to go into haunted houses and you know talk to you know, spirits and
haunted houses, and I didn't want to do that. I wanted to do something that was going to help people, you know, showcase what I did on a daily basis, but also have my family involved as well. So when I got a call and they said, listen, we just we don't want to we don't want to script anything. We just want to, you know, have you be you and do a show just about you and your life. I was in, I was signed up, and I was ready to go.
That's awesome. So before we talk more about the show, what's y'all story? Like, how did you guys meet? How long y'all been together and all that fun the stuff.
Well, this a real story, that's a fake story.
Yes, so I'll just give you that.
I have the real one, honey, now, honey, yes, I do.
Okay, she'll tell you that. All right, Fine, go ahead, Okay, I'll just have my turn. So that's okay.
Well, well, according to you, you were scrolling on Instagram one night at eleven pm, true with the cats land bed, and I guess I posted a picture or selfie of some sort and you were like, ooh, ooh.
I didn't know what I was. How do you know what I was was? Are you a psychic?
I'm just guessing.
Oh, okay, you're like ooh.
And then you followed me, even though you don't think you did. I don't know how you messed that up. The lives start to come in and you followed me.
The screens are sensitive Okay, Matt just accidentally hit it. It wasn't purposeful. I got your back, man, I got in right that.
I know.
It's one of those things. Don't like it, don't like it to scroll, don't exactly, but you liked it, and you, you know, messaged me and basically you said, congratulations on you know, your title and what you're doing, doing great things.
Wait, wait, it gets better, it gets better. Tell the line. Tell the line.
Oh yes, he loves this line. I didn't know I was.
Being shut up? Are you kidding me right now? You're laughing at my life.
I just didn't know I was being followed by an Instagram star. Let me buy you a cup of coffee?
Oh yeah, and that's it.
Signal delivered.
It was like that. That call to action was on point, like it got you to that coffee shop.
So I was. I did, but I was a half hour late. And now let me.
Tell my side, because I says, I'm trying my hardest to contain myself and I really can't, like I want to just bust with this my You know what.
My favorite part is when you talk about when I walked into the coffee shop. Let's do that.
No, because you don't want to bet that back. Okay.
So here's the thing, Jana, Okay, here's what here's here's what happened. Okay, So she says, she says to me, I never followed you. You know you followed me. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. She was definitely a follower beforehand.
That's number one to know who you were.
Oh my god, that is the biggest lie.
This is literally like episode one of Me the Frasiers, and I love it.
Okay, listen, this is this is what happened. I'm like so upset right now. I'm getting all hot and bob and my nipple, my nipples a sweat. And it's because here's what happened. So she how could you not know somebody who's verified, who has a blue check mark on the instruct.
Pause, pause, pause, I'm going to defend my girl just for a second. Michael and I met on Twitter. He had a blue check mark. I had no idea who he was. He followed me a lie.
I can't accept it, Mike, I can't.
Accept So I had no I didn't know who he was. Yes, he had a blue check mark, which is why I then looked at the message because I'm like, okay, right, so I'm gonna now look, but I didn't know he was. I saw that he was all.
About a blue check mark. Because of that, I have my wife. If I didn't have that, this would not be happening.
So I'm just saying, I'm with my girl here that she maybe didn't know who you were.
Yes, because you know what, I'm young, so he's a psychic medium. I'm young.
You know.
I feel like your age demography is a little bit older, only because those people are old, you know what I mean, Like, but you know, like they've lost people, they've lost, you know, so I'm a little bit younger. I think you didn't lose anybody.
You didn't read the headline that said world's renowned psychic medium. You didn't you tell me you didn't see that.
I did not know what psychic was. And you know that because I asked you really dumb questions at the coffee shop.
Oh, you just pretending to be dumb.
No, this is I don't pretend I'm.
Getting out of this conversation. Is that if you have a blue check mark, basically that is like that, that is like real life. That is like that is like the we need like one on that, like for plenty of fish, Like we need like a blue check mark on plenty of fish.
That's why they have that's they have the ray of dating app now because everyone's basically a blue check mark and RAYA or Raya or whatever.
That yaa, that's amazing.
It's like a dating app for celebrities and people that pretty much only have a blue check mark.
Oh God, bless Yeah, how long is this?
We need that?
But how long ago is this? How long has this been going on?
Three and a half years?
Where's the ring?
Oh? Thank you?
Question?
Why am I only show right?
I want to see?
I feel a bus running over God?
Okay, it's not only me mark, because Jerry Springer real quick, well answer the question. You were just asked the question that you didn't answer.
So I bought her a promise ring that she's got on.
A promise ring? Are we in high school?
You know? When did this become the roast of me? When did this become the most of me?
Like we're not talking Cubic Zirconian baby like promise ring.
We all got those back in the day. I feel like I got one, like I feel like.
When you're back in school and like the kids make fun of you and then like they they like, that's probably never happened to Mike because you know he's you know, he was very athletic.
I wasn't.
But you know when they when they when they when they form like the circle around you and it's not like the answering you. Yeah, yeah, that's me right now over the Okay, Oh, I'm so happy because maybe it takes that.
Wait, well can I can?
I can?
I ask? Like, so what is it? Because you know, obviously our our podcast we talk about relationships and kind of our struggles. What's what's the biggest struggle in y'alls reallylationship? And maybe you know why you know, what are not? What are you waiting for? Because a lot of like my girlfriend just is about to get married after six years of waiting for the ring, but it's you know, is there something in your marriage that are you scared?
Are you nervous? Or what is it like? And also what's the biggest kind of riff?
Yes, I can, I can tell you that.
So the thing is is that Alexim and I have an age different, so we're seven years apart, which.
I I'm twenty one, he's twenty eight, which I love.
Also six years a pot.
Sorry I failed math, but anyway, six year has a pot. I But you know, the thing is is that she also I don't want her to have to look back and say like I regret it anything like. I want her to also have, you know, the freedom of being able to do the Miss Rhode Island USA pageant.
I want her to be right, you can't.
Be married, you can't be engaged, like you can't do any of that because.
I don't want to.
I don't want to take away her dreams and her goals, you know, I want her to have that. I want her to be able to have it all because you know, I'm older, I'm not going anywhere.
I love her.
But at the same time, I want her to be able to have that to do the competition this year. I want her to be able to, you know, end that chapter of her life and then be able to move forward with you know, getting engaged and whatnot the way it should be, because I don't think that you should have to choose. I don't think that you should have to say, well, you know what, I'm going to get engaged by I can't do this goal or I can't do this dream.
You know, I want her to be able to have it all.
Yeah, you've been very respectful of that. And he does tell me sung too.
But I hate when people that are young they're like, but that doesn't mean that, you know, I can't get married. I'm like, no, no, not at all. It's just but you are still so young, so it's you know, there is no true rush right now. It's not like you're in your thirties and your ovaries are you know, no.
Write that biological clock. And my mom reminds me of that.
Like when I met Mike, I was like I was thirty and I was like, you don't get it. Like he's like, yeah, we can wait like five years. I was like, you basically just put a death sentence on my ovarreas she's like, a are getting married?
Yeah, I got it. I love it.
No, but it's true. And we are a little bit different.
You know.
We don't drink, we don't club, we don't go out, we don't you know, do stuff like that. And I like want to be a mother so badly. I want to be a wife so badly, and I always have have wanted that you know at a young age. I've always been a little bit more mature for my age. You know, all my friends were kind of smoking, drinking, you know, out and about. I was like at home doing homework, like washing the dishes or like whatever. And I still love that now. So I do think it's
the age. But you tell me all the time. Listen, if you were I don't know, twenty two, twenty three, whatever, and when we first met, you would have like had a ring on my face. We knew as soon as we saw each other.
But I love that you're respecting to you know, her journey and the things that you know that she wants to. So I think that's amazing and makes a good partner out of you. But I know some We've had a few mediums and psychics on the show, and my husband here is probably one of the biggest skeptics out there because he's what is it?
Why do we get thrown on the bus over here? It's always it's always.
Us, amen against the world. Right now, I'm like, I don't.
Here's the thing. I think this is why because I've had experience with mediums and psychics where I really truly believed it and I felt it, but I don't think he's had that experience before. I don't feel like he's had that. Ah wow, this is really.
Oh wait a minute, Wait a minute, because I have a soul coming through that passed the tragedy with you, Mike. When I'm connecting and did you lose something in the car accident or the car crash here in the physical.
I can neither confirm nor deny.
Yes you can, Michael.
He's stepping forward.
He was a brother here in the physical world when I'm connecting with him. Say that again, he was like a brother here in the physical world when I'm connecting with him, because he's telling me, like, I wasn't supposed to die like this. And he tells me when I'm speaking to him that there was also bad decisions that were made before he got in the vehicle that day, because he's acknowledging that. So that was a friend of yours.
So no, that he's stepping forward because when I'm connecting with him, he says to me, you know, can you just let him know that I'm okay. And it's funny because when I'm speaking to him on the other side, like he thinks this is so cool that he can speak to a medium right now when I'm connecting with him. But he was a party animal here in the physical world. When I'm connecting with him, like, he shows me that he was like always out and about. He actually got
in trouble with the police. He's telling me where was the police issues with him?
I didn't know about those if he had any.
Oh, that's both because when I'm connecting with him, he's showing me like that there was always issues with his car, Like I feel like that he either got a duy or like there was issues like that, because he's acknowledging that to me. And it was so unfortunate about the way that he passed because he says to me when I'm connecting with him, like, I don't he talks about not supposed to be driving, So I don't know if they took turns driving or if somebody else like took
the wheel. But he's acknowledging that to me when I'm speaking to him.
Right now, say the story, Michael, come on, how could you not like, hello.
That's you.
And sand that give the guy with the credit.
That's I'm on. I don't care because me the credit or not listen, I hear and see them.
You know, they're they're always around me no matter where I go, and he's just with you. And it's so crazy because you know, this is what I mean when I do this, Like I don't have to ask any questions because I already know because he's here chirping in
my ear when I'm connecting. You know, I'm always hearing them, I'm always sensing them, and you know, when I'm connecting with him, he's also telling me about all the things that we've done a memory of him, because he even tells me there were shirts that were made or shirts that we've done a memory of him here in the physical world when I'm connecting with him, and he just wants to thank everybody for that. So no, it's his
way of just bringing that up. And he also says to me, because you talk about he's it's so funny. He telling me about like a brotherhood tattoo. So was everyone was supposed to get a tattoo a memory of him, not.
That I know of, maybe maybe some other some other friends of his, but I wasn't included in that. But uh no, I mean this as much as I as reluctant as in situations like this, I will say, you know, I had a friend that I grew up with who was like a brother to me, that died in a car accident a month before his eighteenth birthday. He was in the passenger seat and the kid who was driving lived. My buddy did not. And uh, I used to go to his grave every time I was home from college break.
Anytime I was back home, I'd always go see him. For years, I did that until I moved.
Every Well, he says that everybody did because wh I'm connected with him. You're telling me this, and he's showing me beer bottles at his grave. People used to go and drink with him at his grave or like leave beer bottles at the grave.
Some of the other people he was close with as we got older were I could definitely see them being the ones that did that for sure. Yeah, so cute. That's damn okay. I'll give you that. I'll give you that. And people, our listeners have heard me shut down most other people we've had on the show with the gift like yours. So I appreciate that.
Though, Listen, I get shut down every day no matter where I go. I deal with the hardest skeptics. I mean, I didn't get a TV show by being wrong. Let me tell you, I have to you know, that's why I don't.
I don't ask. I'm different than other mediums there.
You know, there are people out there that don't have the gift of that don't have the ability. But I don't have to ask questions because they just tell me, so I'll know different details, are things like that that happened with their passing. When I was connecting with your friend, you know, there was even a question over who was driving that night and if he should have drove, and he was telling me all of these different things the
moment I was connecting with him. But also, you know, he's stepping forward not because of the fact that he's with me, it's because he's with you to let you know that he's appreciating the ways that you still think about him, the ways that you went to with his grave, you know, the things that you did with him here in the physical world, and you know he's bringing that through.
Wow. Oh and did you also, wait a minute, did you also just lose a dog?
No, well, Jane, did.
There's a dog that's coming through to me and your grandmother's here, Janna, So your grandmother?
So your grandmother departed?
No, mine, I've both grandma's right.
Then, this is this a woman that's stepping forward. It's like a grandmother student that's stepping forward.
I have a great grandma.
Were you close with her though, Yeah, it had to be somebody that you were close to.
She we were close for I mean yeah, we were close. She passed like when I was like thirteen, No, ten, twelve, hold on.
Wait a minute, I want to make sure. I want to make sure there there's.
A lot of people in the room.
Wait a minute. I felt Wait a minute, hold on. I don't know if I felt.
No, it's definitely with you because I saw I saw this dog that's here with That's what this woman. I'm just wondering if it was a grandmother or if it was an aunt to you?
Oh, wrong side a dog? Hm hm, oh your aunt and the dog is still there.
If a dog's so alive, well, I mean.
You know, I can mess up.
No, I only talked to dead people. It's definitely.
Jane gets a little bit of the string, its just starts pulling it.
Yeah, yeah, she was just excited.
I'm the same way. I'm the same I'm like, ah, yes, okay.
So I was going to ask you, Alexa, when you guys first met, were you already a believer in this kind of gift or were you skeptical at all?
I was a believer. I am into all of that stuff.
Well, tell about that first date, Tell them what happened, because I have to, like, Mike needs to know this.
Means anybody needs to know. It's Mike needs to know this. It's so important.
So fortunately I've only lost my grammy knock on wood. You know, we don't want any of that. So but I was very close to her, and she passed when I was younger, and in my family we have like this little pouch of like her prayer beads and little crosses and things, and whenever someone in our family needs it, we take it. So we kind of pass it around. And at the time that I met Matt, it was actually in my wallet and I kept it hidden away,
like you know, in my way, in my purse. And I actually put my purse like totally on the other table. So we sat down, and of course, now I know, like how annoying listened to you, But I was like who do you see behind me? And I wasn't expecting anything. And he was like, oh, he's like you have your grammy that passed. She's literally right here with you. And I was like what and he's like yeah, he's like
where's her preabes? Like what don't you guys like have something that you all pass around and blah blah blah. And I was like, oh my god, and I have anxiety. So I started like seeing black the cold sweats from like my head to my toes.
Like jar, oh god, okay, so she had to untant.
I like went and I'm like holy like he's so on point. Oh my god, Oh my god.
Yeah, but you ran out. I did it, ran out, And I didn't think she was gonna run back in. I was like, I was like an Ash's I had my head in the sand. I didn't know what the hell to do.
I was.
So I was like, oh my god, like I'm literally going to pass out in front of my date right now.
But the good news this is that see I I used to be the I used to be the e m T see. So if she would have if she would have she would have passed out, I would have.
Revived her if she died, were to talk to her, yeah, I said, every day.
But it's true. I would have you know, if you was a cute thing.
It's a cute thing.
It's not a cute thing. It's the truth.
Yeah, but you passed out, I'd revive if you died, I would talk to you because I'm a medium and I can do that.
I was shocked on that day three and a half years ago, and still to this day.
You shocked me.
Every single day. You floor me. I cry over the readings. I get chills over the readings. His new book came out, and read the book, I'm like crying.
The book When Heaven Calls Life Lessons from America's top psychic medium.
Yes, okay, well everyone Amazon right now When Heaven Calls.
Yeah, you can pre order on Amazon and Barnes and Noble.
When was the first experience that you had like that you knew that you had this gift?
So it's so crazy because my grandmother was a medium who passed it on to my mom and then in turn passed it on to maybe. You gotta remember that back in the day, you know, nobody talked about this. My grandmother didn't do this professionally. My mom didn't do this professionally. It was something that was kept close to home,
just for close friends and family members. And it was so secret that not even my grandmother told my grandfather that she could do that, shed even tell her own husband, so you know, it was kept a very secret, you know, just for close friends and family. And then when I was growing up, I too was seeing and hearing the departed. It started with me seeing my grandmother that had passed the psychic one. She passed when I was three, and when she first died, I was still seeing and experiencing her.
I never realized that she actually died. But then after that, other souls came in trying to talk to me. And it was so crazy because you know, growing up and seeing and hearing the departed, it wasn't comforting to me.
I was scared.
I was literally like living that movie the sixth Sense, Like I remember like pulling the covers over my head, pulling you know, the pillows up to my ears. I didn't want to hear, see or experience them. And that so I spent most of my life running from this. And I never wanted to be a psychic. I never wanted to be a medium. And that's what people don't understand is that, you know, I started my career as
an EMT. I had a wonderful career working at the World Trade Center and boss, and you know, I was going to be I wanted to be a paramedic and then physician's assistant. And then I went to see a medium for the first time, and it changed my life because you know, I wanted to at that moment. I wanted to see what it was that I kept running away from, and seeing a medium for the first time showed me it wasn't something that I had to be
afraid of. It was something that could help use and teach others that there's so much more to life than what's here in the physical world.
So I started to be open about this.
I started to you know, read for close friends and family members like my grandmother did back in the day.
And then I don't know what happened.
All of a sudden, word traveled quickly about the one who could speak to the dead, And here I am with you.
Now.
Are you able to turn it off? Though?
No?
Never, No, you say that like it's a bad thing.
It's not a bad thing. It's not a bad thing. But I feel bad for you.
Sometimes I feel bad for myself because there's no customer service hours.
I have no customer service hours in heaven. Like they just call up any time.
Yeah they do.
All right, So let me hear one thing before we let you guys go. Well, it's like your elevator pitch to get people to watch the show. And what can they get? What can they expect an elevator pitch?
Oh my oh, what's an elevator?
Basically eleven second? If you had eleven seconds to pitch somebody your company and your brand or your business or your show, what would you say?
All right, So I'm a psychic medium, might have a pageant queen girlfriend Alexa, Papa Jonas. We have two loud, crazy Italian families. We live in Cranston, Rhode Island without three Bengal cats. And if you think the dead is scary, just meet my family.
I love it. Everybody watch Ninth Central on e Love you guys so much, Thank you so much for coming on the show. We really appreciate it.
Yeah, thank you again. Check out Meet the Frasers every Monday ONNY. I mean, if there shows anything like the interview, it's going to be entertaining.
She's so sweet. I really like her, She's cute.
I didn't really she was twenty one, definitely, I saw in the rundown that she was.
I was like, I did not see that.
She did not ask or present herself as a twenty one Nothing against twenty one year olds, but us being significantly older than that. Yeah, it's it was very surprising.
Agreed she Yeah, she just really holds herself.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's that kind of shocked me.
So Mike, does this change your opinion at all?
I'm dude, come on, you at has to that one. No one's brought that up.
No, they have, and that's something that nobody would know. So I give him credit where credits due. You know, something still felt fish like fishing when he's like, yeah, fishing for like the alcohol piece or you know, partying. But the biggest things for me was, yeah he was, but I'm saying that he made some bad decisions that they like, I felt like he was trying to figure out if it or like he had a dui. He never had a dui as far as I knew, But
so something seemed like fishing. But still there were enough things where that really interest me, especially when it came down to you know, he wasn't sure if he should be driving or not driving, the fact that he was the passenger. So there are some things that definitely uh.
Like how would he know that? That's such a random and it's not like a gram or Grandpa passing. I mean, that's that was a friend of yours that died in a car accident. That's to this day, you've talked to me about it, no one else. Well, you know that at least on the podcast, that it's affected you and you still think of him. You can't even listen to a song.
That's true. There's a song I still cannot listen to to this day because that was like our jam.
But he knows that you're thinking of That's so sweet.
Yeah, I mean that's that is pretty cool. I will say that.
Wait, you did talk about this in the podcast once I talked about ever Last.
Right, Yeah, I talked about the song, so yeah I have talked about yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I have talked about him. See, so maybe he did his research.
Mark, come on, I always feel like there's a logical explanation for these things. Although Easton at a very very odd situation with the Long Island Medium where she knew something that I had no idea about Easton and nobody else know about Easton.
What.
Yeah, you know, we had Teresa Caputa of the Long Island Medium on with Ryan Seacrest one morning and I was like filling in as an engineer, you know, at this other studio, and so there's no way of her knowing that I was going to be there, but she she was like, oh, someone in this room had a like a lost a friend to a drowning accident, and and I I had lost one of my close friends like a year earlier, and it I was I'm totally
a skeptic. And so by the time I came out of that, because she got a couple of things wrong, but mostly it was pretty accurate, I was like, Okay, she either it's either the real deal or she has the best researchers on the face of the planet. And that's impressive too, you know, because like.
Either way, it's impressive, you know, like like either they.
Have like CIA levels of like researchers and and their talents are being grossly misused.
I'm going to go with that it's real and that because I don't want to believe that someone's that Connie, you know, to like to do that, especially when people can really get some healing and some validation and some love from it. Now, you know, obviously they're going to say, like you said, they're going to say a few things wrong. But I think it's the the fact that he did get that so right too. Sure there may be pieces that may be wrong, and.
Maybe that's that's the expectation I have because I'm such a skeptic. It's like, I need you to tell me their name. If they're talking to you, they can tell you their name, exactly where they were, how it happened. Like that's where that's where my skeptical brain.
Goes that they're just as spirits.
All right, Well, they're still talking to them.
That is a good point. Actually, shoot, that actually is a really good point.
If they could say a car accident, right, they can say all that stuff, They could say their name.
Maybe when they say that they're talking to them, it's more of like images and a feeling.
Subjective. Anyways, I enjoyed their interview, I enjoyed their company.
Yeah they're fun. I'll watch it. Remind me of he reminds me of Todd crisly, very just like out there and fuel very unfiltered character.
So I have a word with my grandfather. If any medium ever can tell me the word that I have with my grandfather.
Then I'll buy it blueberry pancakes.
It's not the word.
Ah wait, next time we have someone on we have to ask them. That would have been so good. Mark.
Well, but that's the thing is, I don't even like, I don't even like queuing them up for that. I feel like, if it's legit, they'll just have it and they'll have the word.
Yeah, but you're I mean, if you can just say that, there's no way they're gonna be able to guess the word.
How many words are in the dictionary?
That's true, that's true, but that'd be kind of crazy.
I'm going to start guessing.
I know, we're just going to start sounding like.
Depending on how many years we have on this podcast in the future, every day is a new word. Our thing.
Me and my grandpa. This was our thing, and there's no no And I know he would say it because he almost when he was laying on his deathbed and like in convulsions, he kind of referenced this word so I know, what's the first word he would say if you were speaking to me, Oh, my heart?
When did you lose him?
I was about twenty and he's my only grandparent that I was really close with. I had a hard time with that one. Yeah.
Is it a single word?
Oh my, it's a single word. It is one word. No, so.
Heart.
Oh that's so sweet though, those are the words a woman would think.
Hey, what would you think of lego? Yeah?
Yeah, something like that.
My lego?
Who would you think of something? Not what you're saying? Probably Mark.
Do we have any emails?
Selene needs some help? So these are that's the kind of serious, which makes sense after last week's episode that the emails are kind of serious. This week, she said, I've been with my husband for over three years now. He's a recovering drug addict. I found out about his addiction when I was newly pregnant with our son about two years ago. He's relapsed a few times, and every time it's completely apologetic and remorseful. Every time I say I'm done that I'll not put up with his addiction
around our son. And he doesn't think that he needs rehab and that it's something he will stop because he wants our family together. So we've agreed for me to do random drug tests when I'm feeling insecure about his sobriety. He's been clean for almost six months now, but I don't want to continue to live in constant fear. Every time I ask him to take a drug test and it comes back clean, I feel horrible for not trusting him. I live every day with constant anxiety of finding out
he's been using. Listening to your podcasts every week, hearing how both of you are working through it gives me the faith that we, too can be happy and work this out. I love your podcast and love to hear how much love you have for each other. Such an inspiration.
Janna just gives me a little snap and okay, you're up. First of all, Selene, thank you for sharing. You know, our our hearts and empathy go out towards you and your family and what you're dealing with. What I would have to say, I can understand. Jane can speak more on this, but I can understand how you how you would feel, or how she would feel like horrible after the drug test comes back clean and she feels bad for not trusting him. Having said that if he's willing
to do that. You know, Jane, again, we'll speak on this. That's a tangible thing where if he's not grunting and growing, it's like, oh, you got it. You know, I feel
like a kid. I feel like I'm being controlled all the things that I would say in the past about You know, what Janna needed is if he's willing to do that, then use it and try to maybe talk about it with him, tell him your fears around it, but maybe find a way just to do some therapy work around it, to discuss it with him, just a way to look at it differently than you know, living
with that fear and anxiety. But again I can empathize with every time you're waiting to get that test back, you're probably terrified, absolutely terrified, praying that it's not going to be positive. So I think again, if he has a positive attitude about it, I think that's great because that's something tangible that he can give you, which is
something that is difficult for me to give. Janna. I'm assuming, because she says she feels horrible for not trusting him when it comes back clean, I'm assuming that his attitude towards it is probably pretty decent, So that's the biggest thing. Guess we're assuming his attitude is positive because she doesn't allude to it not being that way. So I'm hoping that's the case. And if that's the case, that's why
I'm saying use it as a tool. If it's not the case, then that's something else to discuss, because I can understand even more so, while you'd have so much for your anxiety, if he's given a shit about it.
It's just so tricky. And even when you had said that one thing, like you wish you had tangibility. I think that sometimes where even I can get sometimes a little envious of because that would be something that she can hold on to at least knowing that he's not. And there's no I can't drug test you or ethan lie detective test you. But that's not even accurate because.
It's not as black and white as drugs and alcohol. So's there's too much gray area.
Yeah, and with a drug test, it's you know, here's the thing that at the end of the day, and this is where I can have empathy for her. It's we don't want to have to do that, Like I don't want to have to do some of the boundaries that we do, because it's it's exhausting for us to have to sit there, and it's like, we just want to trust you, like why why do we have to do this? Because why can't you just be honest or stay in
your program? And so I think it, at least from my experience, it's just it just gets so frustrating because you're like, we don't want to have to do it.
And I love that you guys are willing to, you know, let us do these things, but it just gets so exhausting, and that disgusting anxiety that comes up when she waits for it or when we check balances and stuff on a boundary list, it's just it's that waiting for the next shoe to drop and that you know that that's just like such an ugly, yucky place to live in, but at the same time you need it for safety.
So it's like, I don't. I wish I had the right answer, you know, for for even her too, because I don't I don't know what I've maybe the balance of doing it like not obviously not every week or not every day, like maybe just do it where it's not I don't even the That's the thing, I don't even know, because no matter what, you're still going to
have the anxiety. But hopefully, over time, when he starts proving to you that he's being honest and that he's staying in recovery, that that anxiety won't be there because you'll be expecting it to be negative because of how great he's acting and how much he's been able to
change and grow and live in recovery. Yeah, so I think hopefully you just just think about it where it's like, Okay, in a year from now, I'm probably not going to be this heightened because he's gonna will have shown negative this entire time, and I can I can really start to trust him and build put the building blocks on there and put some stuff in the relationship bank.
Yeah, that's my thoughts.
This one is uh, it's titled Mike's Confidence, but it's really more for Janet from Andrea. She says about last week, I needed this episode. When I heard Mike say you can't truly love someone until you love yourself has struck a chord with me. My husband and I have been going through drug addiction issues that include ongoing lying justifications et cetera. We got to the happiest place in our marriage ever, and then two weeks later he relapsed. My question is, Jianna, how does it make you feel to
see Mike love himself and be proud of himself. It sounds terrible, but I have moments where I'm mad that my husband has so much confidence in himself and pride because I'm just not there yet. I don't feel that way yet because of hurts, because of the relapse, because of the doubt. How do you handle Mike talking about all the good he's being and well he's doing it, all these things. I don't want to keep my husband down. I want to be a cheerleader, but how can I
truly do that with so many reservations? I love you, guys, Thank you for being so vulnerable. It helps more than I can put into words.
Was she in my therapy session of like let ago?
What a great great topic?
Yeah?
I know it's such a great topic because I remember, you know, when everything kind of happened with the boundary slips a month or so ago. You know, You're like, I'm gonna do this and I'm gonna get healthy, and and I'm like, wow, cool, like, you're doing all these steps to be healthy, and I'm just kind of sitting here, still angry and still and it's just we want to
be happy for you. At the same time, I'm like, you just crapped all over my side of the street, and now I got to pick up your crap on my side of the street, and I got to pick up my stuff. So it's just like we just got we get dumped on twice, and we've got extra crap
to clear out. And you know, I remember talking to my therapists Amy being like I want to be happy for him, but I'm like I'm also looking at him being like, oh, you're so healed, and just being real, just nasty because I was hurt and I was like, how do you get to be happy when you keep hurting me and people? You know, we talked about comments earlier, and I'm like, yeah, you know why I've been disrespectful because you've given me no reason to trust you. You
keep breaking it. How can I like, you know? And so it's like I go in that tailsp but I'm like, but you get to be cool and healthy. And that's when my therapist finally sat me down and she's like you have to stop focusing on him and his recovery and what he has to do for himself, like in what y'all's relationships. She's like, this is a this is your therapy session. We need to talk about you and how you are going to get healthy and what you need to do to be healthier and better and happier
and lighter and more free. But it is hard to sometimes see, especially when you guys kind of puff out your chest and you're like this great new shining version, like shiny version, and I'm like, oh, buddy, like we've seen that version twenty times and try to like come out of different shells, you know, where it just becomes we get we get sickest seeing the new shiny version that you keep saying is going to be there, and then it's never there, so then we don't respect that version,
and then we start to become bitter, and it's just becomes that cycle. But that's where it's like my therapist too, is like over time, just continue to watch and see if they can consistently stay that person, but then also ask them to help you, like lean in, you know, what is something that they learned that you can help them lean into their recovery and your recovery as well.
Yeah, no, no, for sure, I have a few things. First of all, I can totally understand, like how that would be frustrating, infuriating at times and painful to see that. I think for our particular situation. The difference and you can attest this or not. The way I feel about it now is I think I've actually talked less about the changes I'm making than I have in the past. Sure, we're in the past, I like, which.
Is maybe why I believe it more because I'm seeing it as opposed to you saying what I'm what you're doing. Yeah, you're not telling that what you're doing, you're doing.
It right, I'm not. Yeah. And anytime I reference something like you know i've been talking about that book, I'm reading a lot just because.
Mentioned the book, because I know you've really liked that a lot.
I will, I'll get to that, but it's it's not out of it's out of something that we're talking about, right to give an example. So I really feel like that's been a big difference for both of us. Right now is I feel myself just doing things and not looking to you to validate you to validate it or to acknowledge it. I'm not looking to you to be like, oh, wow, you really have been waking up at six and six in the morning every day doing your work. You really have been going to warment, you know.
And you're doing it for you, not for me, not for me to like pat you on the back, good job.
That's what I'm saying. I haven't even needed that because I'm actually not doing it for you, which is a first for me. And so I get why in the past a lot of times you would when you're in a bad place and I'll be saying things, well, it'd be.
The thirtieth it'd be the thirtieth book that you would have ordered from Amazon that you don't actually open up. So I'm like, what is that book gonna do? What about the twenty nine books that you say?
It's like, there's stack of books on my nightstand and be like, honey, see all these books that I bought, like but haven't read anyways, But now, but yeah, my point is again now it's it's different than before because I think both of us can acknowledge that. Having said that, part of the thing too is it might come across as us talking about it more because you or Andrea might be asking questions of for your safety, of what
are you doing different? What do you you know what I mean where especially early on, not now you're not doing that, but for the first month, it was you're trying to grab onto something, You're trying to get something tangible, so you're asking a lot of questions. We're having a lot more discussions and talks about what it's going to look like.
Well, yeah, because that's and that's something where I think men women we get in that struggle where if you've been hurt countless times, it's like, what do you have to hold on to when you've taken I won't do this again, I won't do this or this, and it's like what Okay, You're just like frantically searching for what to hold on to to see if you're actually going to do it or not, and that this it's just time.
Yeah, ultimately it is. There's nothing you can say.
But that's what we're thinking. We want you to say something, but there's literally nothing you can say.
It's hard because you keep asking, you know, and we're saying the same thing over and over again. You're asking the same thing over and over again, like we're going to give you a different response, waiting to hear that magical word.
But we want that so badly to give us hope.
It's a crazy hope. Has just been speaking of crazy cycle. So Yanna mentioned this book that I'm reading, No this crazy cycle. There's this book I'm reading right now called Love and Respect by this author, Emerson Edgers. I think you said you say his last name. It's again. I'm not a big reader. I'm becoming one because I'm doing
it more. The first ten pages of this book, I was just like already shaking my head giving some of those like church like mm, like you know, some of those like hand in the air, Like That's how I felt because it was just like telling our story of just like our interaction between husband and wife, and he talks about this crazy cycle, that that relationships, that marriages get on and everything. The ultimate underlying point of the book is love and respect. It's when it comes down
to it. What he's preaching is that women ultimately just want to feel loved at the end of the day. That is their most important thing. That is what they need. They need that attention, they need love, they need to feel chosen. They need that stuff. And for men, our biggest thing across the board, more so than not, is actually we have the need to feel respected. And I never really thought about it before, but I was like, oh,
that is it. You know. When he has some polls in there, he referenced the Bible a lot, and it's just fascinating. I think one of them he asked a group of I don't know, a thousand men or something, would you rather be in a marriage that your wife loves you and doesn't respect you, or that respects you and doesn't love you. And it's like eighty one percent of men said they'd rather be in a loveless marriage
as long as their wife respected them. And that means more to men in this guy's theory than love does. And there's obviously outsiders who will disagree and it doesn't impact him as much as love. But again, that's what he preaches, and it's about unconditionally respecting your husband and unconditionally loving your wife. And he uses the analogy of kind of like what came first to the chicken or the egg, So the wife wants to be like, well, I'll love you if you or i'll respect you if you,
you know, freaking love me. And the husband's like, well, I'll love you if you respect me. And that's what he calls the crazy cycle, because you're just waiting for the other person to do it, and so it's unconditionally thinking, in this moment, how can I love my wife in this moment? How can I respect my husband. It's an unbelievable book. I highly recommend it, even for all you non readers like me out there, go get it.
I love it.
I don't know how to answer that.
What you just said, Mark, I love because he kind of references references that, and he says, men, that is what we say if they ask. If someone asks us, does your wife love you, we're like, yeah, of course she does. And then he'll also ask, but does your wife respect you? And to your exact point, you're like, I don't know if she necessarily does. And to your personal opinion, do you really care? To women? He has the same question, you know, does your husband respect you? Yeah,
of course he respects me. But does your husband love you? I know, I don't really think he loves me, and so so you even saying that was kind of sparks my This guy's kind of belief behind it is because we just feel, Yeah, of course our wife loves us, they're married to us. That's enough for us. Again, I'm speaking in general terms, not everyone, but from his theory, that's enough for men to have enough love. This woman is willing to spend the rest of her life with me, that's love, all right.
We'll stay tuned for next weekend.
O h.