High Stakes Q&A in Las Vegas

Wind Down with Janet Kramer, an iHeart Radio podcast.

Okay, we are live in Las Vegas. We are in the Bows studio. This is so fun.

I love this.

Cat just asked me. She's like, have you ever done a podcast outside? I'm like, well, technically we're in like a little booth.

Yeah, but we're still outside.

We're looking, We're definitely still outside. But yeah, we were in Las Vegas, Nevada, and we are here for the iHeart Radio Music Festival. I'm so excited. This is powered by Bows at the House of Music at the iHeart Radio Music Festival. So I'm just very happy to be here.

Can we tell them what just happened?

What just happened that we.

Walked in and the best ever?

I feel like it really shows our age. But it's great.

I mean, immediately you just started jamming.

We here, don't go and I'm like, we're walking in through the metal like security. They're doing their their their sound check or whatever. Start going. Then I'm like asking a Rainbow yesterday and Noney.

Like, but like it's guys, because they're our age too and they know so.

Yeah, and earlier today we were we went to go do the Cheryl Burke podcast. Yes, and we ran into well Brian Austin Green was in there, who we just had on the podcast, but also Lance Bass and I told him, I said, it's just so cool that you guys are back, and He's like, we didn't think people would care. And I'm like, you don't understand our generation. Everyone care, We all care, we will. We needed this.

Everybody's comparing them, like to Taylor Swift, like the stuff is everywhere, like forget Taylor Swift, Like let's go.

I mean, come on, yeah, I mean I love Taylor Swift.

I'm just saying, it's like it's our it's our age.

It's it's our age. Yeah, and I mean yeah, we're trying to get Taylor Swift tickets right now, actually wearing insane.

I can't wait.

I hope they do a tour. I hope it's not just for the movie because they have a song for her, but they have to. They have to. It'd be absolutely epic. So anyways, this episode, we're just gonna have some fun. I'm a little nervous though, because Catherine has a sheet, a couple sheets.

I love the power of this.

This is great and she's gonna it's like a Q and A episode, which again is scary, but it's gonna be fun. Let's just have fun with it. We'll take a quick break and meanwhile, can we just talk about I need these headphones from both Amazing. I love them. They're like a well little green. I feel like Alan would like these. It's very Scottish color, Scottish Scottish color. But no, they sound great. We'll be back in one minute. Orry cat.

Where to begin?

Well, you have the sheet? She's like, do you want to know? And I was like, no, I don't because then I'll be like no, I don't want to say that or I don't want to answer that. But again we're in Vegas.

Oh, you don't get any like a safe Wait.

Do I get what's the thing that what's his face does for? On Bravo? Do you get to like take a pass or a shot?

I can't taking a shot. I don't think you can do that. You get no pass?

I get one. I get one, Alex dupre fake shot.

Okay, fair, I get a real shot in that case.

Catherine is I'm.

Too because we never podcast at night. It is great. Yeah, okay, I'm not going to just like jump into like the deep end.

But okay, I might, by the way, be careful what you ask, honey, because I might have a picture.

Okay, so go for it. We're just gonna jump in, okayn't kill me, don't shoot the messenger. Kristen would like to know who rust or I have wondered the same thing myself. Who was the best sex you've ever had? Oh?

My god, are you kidding me?

That was the really bad giggle earlier, and I felt like we should just start there. There's a god that's the worst.

Part the best sex I've ever had? I mean, obviously my fiance obviously obvious. No, but I do. I will say though, how at like an.

I'm sorry I didn't even give you any buffer.

You didn't know, Like we're so sexually compatible. It's like I feel sexy because he makes me feel sexy, and I feel like I make him feel sexy, and it's just it's probably the sexiest sex I've ever had.

Oh okay, so that answers the second part. Then what made it the best? You just explained it.

Yeah, he just like he makes me feel sexy and like powerful and the same with him, Like I feel like and I'm so attracted to him, like we just like we mesh so well together and it's just the best.

Okay, well, we're gonna have you.

Ever had that kind of amazing sex?

Yes? Is my husband obviously? Okay, so on that trained because we're just gonna we're just gonna jump into those and then we're gonna move on because we can't talk about sex the whole podcast. However, Stephanie would like to know how often do you when you're FI have sex?

Well over there like a school teacher crossing these off the lists. By the way, So I the Avid wind Down listeners know, I like sex. I like to have sex. I struggled with what I wanted more sex in my past relationship obviously, and so with Alan and I like we are very in sync and it's like in sync, it's gonna be yes and it's uh we I would say a couple times a week, Yeah, yeah, I liked about every couple of days.

Okay, and you're good with that.

I'm great with that. Okay, great, it's getting a little harder though. I'm not gonna lie because I'm like it's like the other day, Oh no, you know, He's like, I don't know this. It's like, I'm just gonna turn over because this is nothing, like there's nothing I can really do.

Now that's all you can do?

Yeah, because it like hurts, like when he like lands on top of me, you know what I mean. So anyways, Okay.

So I think we'll we'll get off that subject.

Okay, thanks, you're welcome.

I just thought that was a good start. Okay. I love this one. And we've been talking a lot about this actually lately. Do Mike and Alan get along?

They do get along. Yeah, they do. H Mike came over like a couple of weeks ago, and yeah, I mean it's what I love about Alan is he's so respectful and he knows that that is the father of my children, and he is he's just incredibly respectful. And Mike is great with him as well. Like they they have conversations at the soccer games or baseball games and they have you know, some laughs, and it's just really nice to kind of witness.

Do you all sit together at sports.

Most of the time? Yeah, yeah, most of the time.

I like that. What did you think of it?

Well, No, there was a time when I have a really hard time putting those soccer chairs back in the plastic or whatever the bags. So Alan was out of time, out of town getting his visa or whatever, and I I was having hard time. We're actually no, I didn't even start putting it in. I go like old times, and I gave I gave Mike the uh the bag to put the chair in, and he laughed and put it in there.

Yeah. I mean that's just like a man thing to do. I feel like, yeah, you know that's yeah.

But yeah, I know he's offered because those bleachers are kind of tough for the pregnancy bone.

But speaking of you been complaining of that tailbone's killing me.

But yeah, he offered me like his chair one time too. Yeah, So yeah, they get along. I mean, I don't They're not going to be like I don't think I ever seen him like besties or whatever. But I think they they're very respectful and I think we're doing a great job with that and respecting the boundaries of all of it.

Good.

But we might talk about that more if and when he ever comes on the podcast.

Hmmm, that was going to be one of my next questions. I guess we'll just go into that. Have we decided that that we're doing that.

We Yeah, he's gonna come on. We Yeah, yeah, he's gonna come on.

Okay, Jana has decided. I'm kidding.

We talked about it now.

I'm just good. Yes, you asked her.

I think it's gonna be. And there's a lot of people that were like, no, because it's not good for your healing. And it's like, I don't carry the weight of that, Like, yeah, it's not like we're gonna go way back. I mean we'll touch on some things obviously, but I think there's a there's a balance, and I think there's a lot of growth and healing that can be done in that kind of conversation.

Yeah. And I also think these people listening, we're all a part of it with you felt like they were a part of it. And I think there's a lot I got a lot of messages just myself about how important it is also for them to kind of hear from him.

Yeah, And a lot of them are like, well, I wouldn't believe him anyways, And at the end of the day, I'm like, you don't really have to. Sure, It's like you can make up your mind whatever, Like you don't have to believe him or not. But I think people still get it chance to voice their story or their thoughts and because he hasn't really had that opportunity.

Yeah, no, i'd agree with that. I think that that's a fair decision.

It's getting hot taking this jacket out. It's kind of hot.

Who this was just kind of I don't know why. This one's kind of funny to me from Jess. Will you allow Mike to hold or care for your new baby if you were in a pinch? No, Yeah, that seems a little.

That seems a little. Now. I will say this, there was something that someone told me one time where when the baby gets old enough to let's say the baby is or like the little boy, I keep wanting to say his name. I'm saying his name so much now. If he is seven, I don't know, and he really wants to go with Jase because they're super tight or something, then I could see maybe being like can he go over and play with jas on your night or whatever?

Yeah, that makes sense. I don't really thought about that.

But because it's like he'll be sad to see his right if he still wants to hang out with them, or he wants to go to a game, like, hey, he really wants to go see his whatever. So I could see that happening, and I hope that we could get to that place. That would be really great for them. I would if he ever had kids, I would take on. But I would never give like that would be I

Yeah too, I'd agree with that, yeah.

Because that's just I don't know. I mean, if not his kid.

At a game and like your hands are full and you're like, hey, hold the.

Baby real fast, I still wouldn't do that.

Yeah, that's the only way I could see it, being kind of.

Like, obviously he's going to meet the baby.

I bet he asked to hold the baby. I'm taking that bet he's gonna I.

Wouldn't say no, But it's not like i'd be like, here, take my baby.

Well, and that feels a little like, hey, guess what, I'm remarried, happy in having a baby. Would you like to hold him.

Yeah. No, I mean if he asked, and I'd be like, yeah, sure, yeah, I think he would to hold is if he had one. I'm like, oh my good because you know, because I'd be so happy. Yeah, like him and his I.

Mean he has already been like, hell's our baby. Oh but I mean that's a that's a good question.

Yeah, okay, interesting that you wouldn't either though.

It's yeah, yeah, no, I mean it just again, well I wouldn't.

I would give the baby to outan the dad.

Right, I guess yeah. I mean unless Alan wasn't there he needed help or something. No, I just yeah, it does feel little, but I hadn't thought about when he's older.

Yeah, I think only just older, Like they maybe want to sleep over, and he probably wants to, like and it's his weekend.

And it's going to be so far removed at that point.

Yeah.

What is your daughter's relationship with Alan?

Like, their relationship is so sweet. You know, he taught her how to ride a bike and he was so patient with her. It was so beautiful, and you know he's always wanting to help her with soccer. That relationship

Do you think that's hard on Mike.

I think at first it was, but I know that he knows that Alan's a good addition to the right

So did he only call him dad once? Like was he talking to Mike or did he?

Yeah? He said like because he had called me and was just like, hey, so like Jace just called him dad, and I was like, listen, you know, I thought we weren't doing that. And I'm like I can't tell him, like, don't call him that because you know, he's also confused because he was asking about the baby and about what the baby was gonna call Alan. I was like, well, he's gonna call him daddy. He's like, but he's Allan.

And you wouldn't want him to feel any guilt or shame around it. And he did.

Yeah, and that's what I and you know, Mike and I had a great conversation. It's like, end of the day, they know your dad, they know. But and Alan's just an amazing addition to love our kids, just like the next person that you were with that you marry will be a great addition to love the kids. Like people loving your kids is great. And you always told me that. Yeah in the beginning, absolutely, but I was like, no, no one will ever like I'm the only but she

Yeah, I mean, and I don't think that it's not going to somewhat still be hard for you personally. I think it's very different and it's not all I.

Think it's different because I have them seventy percent of time, so they're not going to have the time. I think that's where and that's something that you know, you can even talk to Mike when he's on the podcast, like because he's technically Alan spends more time with the kids than Mike. So for me, that's where it's like that would be hard on me, But that's I don't they're just going to have this time with this whoever you know what I mean, really not going.

To be It would just be kind of like a that first initial like hearing it, like I can ever I could understand that. I mean, I think you'll be fine. I'm not saying yeah, you won't, but I still feel like that would be like a weird.

It rolls reversed. That's what he kept saying, and I'm like, yeah, but again, I'm with them so much that I just don't think, yeah, that time would even quit.

Well, And I think again, my my opinion on it is you can have a feeling around it. That doesn't mean that you need to correct the child. That doesn't mean that that's how it needs to yeah, because that would be awful for him to see.

Well, and I had to tell like I had to remind Mike. I was like, I'm not saying like, you have to call him, do you know what I mean? Like I would never do that, Like I'm always like Dad, like, let's call daddy, you know what I mean. Like then then this is also what he says, normal dad or real daddy. So I'm just like Dad and Alan, you know, so it's just and then you know, I'm like, and then I might figure it out.

Yeah, and then once you've got the other little babes running around saying daddy, it's gonna get a little trick. Yeah.

But again, like I think it was good for him, like for my ex to hear like I'm not like telling him I have to call him and you are dad like, because I want him to feel because that has to be hard. I can empathize that would be really hard to be in a situation where my kids are with someone else more than which is why I'm always very mindful, like I'm like, hey, you know you're gonna be away from the kids more than a week.

Yeah, yeah, okay, switching gears a little bit. How much Okay, so from Becca, how much pressure do you put on yourself to bounce back after baby and continue to look as good as you enter your forties.

So I got into this a little bit with Alan because he was like, I saw a photo on Instagram of when you know, I used to take those pictures of myself in the gym mirror, and I was just like, oh man, I was like I had a you know, a pretty good stomach going on there, Like it was I felt really good. It took me a couple of years from Jason. Then after my divorce, I lost a little bit of weight, so I felt really good and strong, like I was running and working out and so I

Well, it might look different on the scale, it might look different in clothes, and might that's the thing, it's so different.

Yeah, after you.

Might be in the same size, you might be in the same on the scale, but you still like you have a belly or you know or whatever. Well that's also other people were asking about that. So from Jenna, as women, why do we pick apart our parents our appearance? And wait, why do we do that? And how do we change that?

Well, I will say, someone from my work setting said, how soon do you think you get back in shape?

Oh? Not me?

So I'm clear, no, not you, But wow, that is the pressure of the industry to go when when can you get back too in shape? And I was just like, I don't know, give me like two months maybe, or like in my mind, I'm like, it's it's going to take way longer than that. But I think it's the society saying this is what we have to We have to bounce back, and we have to h and it needs to be fast. But I'm like, it's not fast.

Do you think not to negate every woman feeling that way in the least, but do you think that there is an extra pressure being in the limelight, being in front of people to get back to a certain weight, to be a certain weight, and to bounce back quicker.

Yeah, but I remember I also got ridiculed for it for Jason.

Yeah, you sure did.

I posted, Yes, I posted a photo and I was like, a couple of weeks postpartum, yeah, and I got yeah, I got a crap for a having a flatish stomach? Can I forgot about what what like this is?

It's one of those standards.

So I think I'm just gonna I don't know how I'm going to go about it, but I I'm gonna just again, I have to just know that I cannot compare photos of back then, right of even a year ago.

Well, and I think just go yeah, But I also think to answer kind of that question, well, also for like women in general, like you're going to bounce back differently than I'm going to bounce back, right, you know, like our all of our bodies are so different. I start a different size than you start, you know. So it's like it's just so different for everyone. And to put that pressure on ourselves to compare ourselves. We've talked about this a lot, but comparing ourselves to other people

But also you compare yourself to your old yeah body too. Yeah, so we do it to ourselves. Yeah, oh absolutely. Yeah, And that's the thing that it's not only just.

You think you compare yourself more to yourself or to other people.

I will probably compare myself to my last because that's that's when I felt the best. Yeah, but not so much other people.

Yeah, it's just a it's a fascinating it is.

What about you?

Uh, probably other people?

Yeah, I get it.

Yeah, probably other people. And I'm not like huge, I've definitely gotten better about it. But yeah, definitely. All my post pregnancies were about the same until after the like I gained the same amount pretty much, I lost the same amount. It wasn't until after the third in COVID really that I put on that extra twenty thirty pounds that you know. So it had nothing to do with babies either, So I never really felt that pressure to bounce back after baby necessarily. That didn't stress me out.

Yeah, I mean I was just talking to Jesse Decker about that, because you know she's she's also pregnant, and uh, you know it's just this third pregnancy hitting different, and you know she's at this star for fourth. But it's just we have to just give ourselves grace and know that our bodies are changing and we're a little older, and again not compare the past body to the new body and embrace the new body and how beautiful it is and what it just did. Yeah, so remind me of that.

I will. And we've had two of those conversations in the last You're like, remind me of this.

Please remind what was the other? Reminder?

The dress tonight?

Oh, the dress? It might not fit. It's fine, fine, Okay, Let's let's ask one more.

Okay from Amy?

What is me sugarman?

Of course we have Kristen in here. We have Amy. Now, what is your dream for when you're seventy seventy?

Oh? Man, I would love my family and my friends and my grandkids to all be up on our lake house, you know, like a couple hours maybe outside of Nashville, my dream lake house with all of us and just surrounded by family and grandkids and just happy and calm and just not just not stress, like I just would love everyone to be around and not and and I don't want to be I'd still like to be working.

I was I was gonna say, are you still working?

I'm still working. I'd still like to I'll probably be the grandma in the Lifetime films. Fine with that, love it the mom of the grandma of that's great. But I would like to be at a place where we can just relax and like just love on our family.

I love that.

It's a good way about you.

I don't know if it'd be a lake house, but pretty much the same. Yeah, yeah, lakehouse sounds great on land literally, grandkids, traveling with family, taking care of grandkids, not working, you're working on your own. I'm kidding. I am going to be retired. I love you well, I don't know.

We'll say, okay, let me know when you're putting your notice in a sixty five or you're listening to wind Down Podcast live at iHeart Podcast Studio powered by Bows at the House of Music at iHeartRadio Music Festival. Thanks for listening.