Wind Down with Jane Kramer and I'm heart radio podcast.
Friend. Holy Matt, You're not supposed to be here, and either is this baby? Why am I still pregnant? So last Thursday we had an episode and you texted me saying, all right, yeah, you're like, bs, I'm really trying to have his baby before you head out of town and my husband heads out of town. Well you sew this. Let's see. So a week ago, a week ago, six days ago, I wake up and I'm having contractions every three to five minutes, and you thought, did you think you're for sure having the baby? Then?
No?
But I was like, well, I'm not not having a baby, you know right. It's like a weird feeling because I'm like, well, doesn't feel this intense, but it is. And my obi was like, you should probably just go into triage have him check you out. And she's not a panicker, so I was like, hmm, she definitely feels something, you know, no dilation. It's like such a defeating feeling. So they sent me home, and honestly, I hope somebody can relate
to this. I feel like a lot of it is just the noise and the stress around me and my body right now, Like me and my bodies feel really good about this baby. The baby and I are like in alignment. God loves us. We're ready to rock when it's time. There's so many moving pieces around us. Like my husband is touring and will he's starting to go further away, so he goes to Utah, Denver, New Mexico. That feels very far if you're going to have a
third baby, and it could be quick. Yeah, So just gets noisy and I just feel like all of that. So you know, it's like everyone's like hyper checking in on you, tour managers all the things, Like there's like three camps of people going. So you feel, how do you feel? It's like I've never had such a public cervix in all my life, Like can I just publix? I just be pregnant and just patiently await a baby. But I can't well, I mean, selfishly, it's been I'm like,
can we like have a sea section? You were like you were actually I have to share the selfish moment. I was texting you and I was like I just don't know what's happening, and like there's no dilation. I'm not I haven't been a water breaker before, so I don't anticipate that happening this time, but you never know. And you're like, you can elect for a sea section, we can have a sea section right now. And I
was like, oh, I love you so much. The artist doesn't sneak up much, but when it does, well, No, my doctor had always like when I was pregnant with Jolie, she was like, or you can have the baby at thirty nine weeks and do a sea section. Yeah, I haven't. I hit thirty nine weeks like today, so it was just a little early in my Yeah, it's just really been something. Anyways, I was up all night contracting, So that's great news, I hope. So most likely, well, I
mean I'm not this is all. This is going to actually kind of make me sad. This is the last, man. I am not emotionally stable enough for all the last It's a lot of last I know, the last time being in this house, in this room doing wind down, the last time you will I mean the baby, the night time you have you do wind down, you'll have a baby. This is my last with baby podcasts. I got emotional on our last wind down two or two. Yeah, I just love it so much. Yeah, I don't want
to be gone long. Well you won't, okay alive from Centennial Hospital. Can we do that? I'm just kidding you know, ma'am. But we were sad to miss you last Thursday. It's always uh, and we will be sad to miss you. I don't necessarily have to miss too much. No, I mean you've known. You were my first call when I found out I was pregnant. Love that we get to say it out loud. Yeah, this is a really everything to me. Oh yeah, if we've really been in it. I have FaceTime pictures of you and I both times
i've been in labor. I really would prefer it if it was like in person. Yeah, but we can do that again if we have to. When I called you, did you what like? What was your first initial when I told you that I was pregnant because we never got to have like your we got like Catherine's. And did you think that I would even though I've told I said no to like I wouldn't have another kid? Did you think I would have? Yes? I thought you'd have another one? Really? Yeah, Alan's handsome and you guys
just are magic. I mean, and I like it when our plans get thrown out the window and God has bigger plans, especially for people with our personality type. Do you know where I struggle though? And I'm not trying to get like no, tell me everything. Yeah. So the last so Thursday's episode, this before I went back to my guy now and because you know, I had that hemorrhage or whatever. Yes, I didn't know how much everyone knows. Well, I told that I was bleeding for the first trimester,
which was scary awful. Yeah, I mean because that was the reason why I didn't want to have another one, because I just don't want to go through another miscarriage again. So I think so many people relate to that. Yeah, I mean, yeah, it's I even feel it right now, Like if I don't feel a baby, right, it's the scarcity mentality sticks with you. It's the PTSD, right. So the whole like hemorrhage, hemorrhage, hemorrhage thing has been so
like just like scary, you know. And so what we go back and they're like, great news, your hemorrhage is down below you know, it's like below two centimeter. She's like bad news. And I'm like like why, you know, like, can I just have good good news? Can it? Just like she's like, you're fibroid. She's like, has like pretty much doubled in size. I means that doubled. But she's like, it's one of the on the larger ones we've seen.
And then don't go to Google because I'm goovering you know, large fibroid, you know, with the size of mine, and because right now it's at eleven centimeters okay, and like a large is like ten to fifteen. And she's like, if it keeps growing, we're gonna have She's like, and we could already have. She's like, we can have issues. We can not have issues. And I'm like, okay, what are like because I like to be in the no right, I'm like, okay, what are the issues? Like what could happen?
And She's like explaining all the stuff to me and I'm just like, oh my god. And then you know, but then but then the flip side's like or it could be fine. So there's nothing they can do, right, No, they can't. They can't go in and get it. Now what I didn't think and this is what's so great that will shrink it? No, I've done like I've looked and Google, so like, which so crazy is that I I had like stomach pain before I was pregnant and I was a little bloated, and so everyone was just like, oh,
it's your gut, your gut, your gut. So I was like doing gut stuff. Well, now, come to find out, it's because I have this massive fibroid. Yeah, like huge, Yeah, so I should have it would have you should take those out before, But I didn't know, Like how would I know that I had a fibroid. It's not like I'm going to get like ultra sounds on my stomach
or whatever. So but long story short, I'm just kind of like, so now when I go do the movie, she's making me, not making me, but she's like, you, we need to see what this fibroid's doing because it's like a blood sucking it'll try to take the placenta. And I'm like if I well, I want I know.
And that's where I was like starting to struggle. Was just like I won't be able to make sense of God blessing and then God taking you know what I mean, Like I didn't think that this is like I'm this is such a miracle, baby anyways, like, how in the world did I get pregnant so easy? So it isn't on any medicine easy, and like that never happened before. I was like, you know, having to do the IVFS and then this and then that and the like having to have the progesterone in my body for the other two.
I think that's why that worked. But I'm like every other time i'd lose I'm like, how So it's just like it's a lot. So we just need to like if anyone has because I'm like a Googling like fiend right now, be like, okay, massive fibroids, you know, like healthy pregnancies, and I just like I don't see any forms or anything. So if there's anyone that had a very large vibroid right next to your baby when you're pregnant, can you please DM me? Because I just want someone.
I want to talk to someone about it. Yeah, and also liked scary Yeah, and I'd like good story, but I mean I want to hear all of it. Yeah. But also I think there's probably more good stories than Google likes to share too. Google sucks Google well for a lot of reasons. Where would you like to start it is tricky though, Like I do feel like it's the noise, Like that's where I got to last week, Like I got home from the hospital and I just got in a bathtub and I was like, I need
to shut the door in present's like got it. I just feel like we don't even get a chance to like listen to our own heart beats because everything is like so noisy and so catastrophic, and it can be those things. I'm not living in a false reality, but I'm also like, okay, but also can I just have a minute to like remember whose I am? Who gifted me this baby, Who's gonna walk me through this baby? Because God and I have done a lot of ear
bending with each other. But that's where I have a hard time, because I'm like the babies that like this still bursts and the like the myth I'm just like, and I can look at it now now having my children going Okay, these were I understand, but I wouldn't. I hope I will never have to make sense of right that I will say this. Do you remember Okay, so you know a year It's been over a year since I walked the still birth with my friend Ashley
Micah James. We talked about him on Windown. Little baby born at six months in utero, one pound, one ounce, precious little man. She had her baby last week. Oh I love that, I know, and I have to share this because this is really hopeful too. So she and I were the only two women in that room that walked that together, and we both were due within like a day of each other with these babies.
I know.
And she had her sweet little boy, Knox Isaiah, six pounds three ounces, like three days before Hermiicah James anniversary. I love that. See that's like and those stories are amazing. I love that. And what I said last week is I was like, I like, I'm done after this. So it's like, oh please, this is where I've been. So the four of us can't be together on a podcast. So that's where I'm like, please work. No, it's gonna work. It's gonna work. But there's just there's so many like
and you don't know, there's just never stressors. But I'm just like, oh my god, Like it's like like because I just I wouldn't this was this is it? This was a one and done. Yeah, you know, it's so crazy because I have tried to keep myself in such a positive place, but the what ifs are so real. Well, and it's the thing is like, you know, we have a name for this, babes, and it's like it's so
you know what it is too, it all matters. And it's like I just can't imagine people that, like, I know, but I like that, I just could not imagine because I've like seen like people like my friends just had a still birth, and I'm like, I can't, like I can't imagine. I know, but God does walk you not trying to be like all niggies, you know what I mean. No, no, no, I mean I just I walked it with her so
intimately that I'm just I've just never seen. That was the most sacred anointed space I've ever been a part of in my entire life. I can't describe how that was probably the most the closest to God in the thinnest place I've ever been in my life. Hmm. And there and that baby didn't cry. Oh it's gonna be I'm just I know, but it does. Matt. I mean, it's like He will just never bring us somewhere he
can't get us through. Yeah, he just won't look at us. Yeah, holy shit, look at us right, Yeah, for sure, And I know everything always like I think it's just like, well also early, you know, second try master, it's just scary. It's just it's a I well, also, you love you're a good moms. If you were like, yeah, give or take, I mean I'd be really questioning, you know, like this is a you love your people so well, yeah, and it's fair to be scared. We just have to go
one day at a time. I know, I text this to you the other day, but I was like, I think for our people specifically, we love like a plan, we love. We just love to know a lot of people do. But like the things that make us stay inside of a minute before it pushes us to another minute are really a gift to our type are a
type personalities. Yeah, so this baby's making you do that, right, It's just would be nice to not have to like yeah, you know, but you know again, I know abid fight, right, but I also know how fortunate I am to be able to be pregnant and how people you know are not are struggling and going. So it's like I also see that side too, So I feel very fortunate. You can hold both. Yeah, I can be grateful and have a little grief, yeah and the yeah. So yeah, but
I mean, so far everything's great. It's just hopefully fibroid gets it doesn't grow anymore. So if it stays the same, I'll probably have pre term labor, is what she said. Okay, so they would just but you'd see section anyway. Yeah, but the thing is like, you want to catch it before that promption. So okay, staying inside the minute, staying inside the minute and stay and so I lets talk to a supermodel today.
I walked in.
And I was like, I'm dressed like a gangster wrapper because that's the portion of the program. I can't even wear any tight fitting cute maternity col But I'm trying to find was was she the one we talked about? So it's Olivia Colpo's sister, But was this the one that was married that hap yeah? Or is this was she the one that gave the hall pass? But then wait, oh it is her? Okay, great. Hannah's like, yes, I wonder do you think it's something where we can talk
about that. I don't want to be like rude, but it's also she put it out there. Yeah, I mean, how many people ask you you put out there? I know she know what podcast she's coming up. Listen, Aurora, listen. But no, I'm excited to she's got any podcast coming out, so that'll be I'm interested to hear all about it. Let's take a break and get her on. I'm jan
I'm Kristen him. All right, girl, So I have to start with and if it's okay, So we actually covered something that was on y'all show because with this podcast, you know, we've talked a lot about infidelity and marriages obviously, like we talked about like my divorce and because he had some affairs, and and then we talked about how on your show you basically said you gave your now ex husband right a hall pass, And so we discussed it and I'm like, listen, like for me, I'm like,
I couldn't. I could never do it all pass. I mean just because for me that trust is so important in a relationship. And so when doing a little bit of research now seeing that you are divorced, do you think that trust peace was the kind of nail that just killed it all? Welcome to wind Down? Yeah, sorry, welcome, Welcome were jump right into it.
No, I was excited actually to be on your podcast because I feel like you and I kind of have that in common where it's like I really have no shame in my game in terms of like I'm not embarrassed to talk about the things that have happened that I tried to work through that you know, some of it didn't work, some of it did work, and hopefully, if nothing else, like people can learn from it. So
it's interesting that you phrase it like that. It's a trust thing because the whole reason why I gave him that like hall paths, which we called it a one a year. So when I met him, I had come out of this relationship, well I thought it was a relationship. It turns out I was like the side piece who thought she was the girlfriend and this guy was an MLB player and was basically having a girlfriend in a different city. And I think when I came out of that,
I kind of had this. And to be quite honest, I don't know if if if I don't know if I still don't believe this, but I felt like men are wired evolutionarily to want to spread their seed far and wide, and so for them to be in a monogamous relationship. I wasn't really sure if it's if it was possible, and if it was possible, are they are they happy? Are they living in their in their like
true self? So I felt like what we had was so special and that if a man needs some kind of sexual escapade, you know, or the freedom to feel like he is allowed to do that, then that wouldn't interfere with what we had because it's just sex. So and for me, I felt like I didn't need that, But if he did, who want to tell him not to explore that as long as I'm the one who he wants to be life partners with. So I said, okay, you're allowed once a year to have sex with somebody else.
They don't roll over, You can't. It can't be anybody we know. You can't keep in contact with them. You have to use protection. If there's any kind of emotional feeling, do you have to be upfront about it. And I don't want to know about it because I had a feeling that I, you know, I would have feelings about it.
And I thought that by giving him and he our agreement was that well, what he had said to me is like just having that freedom, knowing that, like if I go on a trip or if I'm out, just knowing that I have the freedom to possibly connect with somebody else in this way, you know, I'm not going to have to use it. And he didn't use it.
He didn't use it for like eight years, and they ended up using it when I was pregnant with our second child after COVID, when our relationship was already like on the rocks for so many other reasons, and of course somebody DMed me and they were like, just so you know, like your husband slept with blah blah blah, and they gave me the full rundown on like everything
they did. And I'm like, you know, when somebody describes sex with your husband, like you know that that's I knew it was true, and I confronted him about it and he lied any gas lit me and he said, you know, if you keep if you keep digging, if you keep X, Y and Z, then like it's over.
And this we had already been in therapy at this point, just for other reasons that we had grown apart, and so people think that our divorce was because he, you know, took advantage of this freedom that I gave him, but actually it's not at all like the I didn't like that he lied to me after, and of course he said like, oh, well, you weren't supposed to know. He
told me not to tell you. You know, when somebody wants you to be honest and they're asking for honesty and you're not giving it, and then you're making kind of an excuse that's very convenient for you to not be honest that you know that, that definitely was did not make me feel good. So when I ended up finding out, and you know you always do, I was like, I was like being serious, like a detective, and I ended up putting out in some like encrypted message system.
I never looked through his phone our entire li relationship, but I did this one time and I ended up finding out about it, and he and so he admitted it, and I said, okay, well, I thought i'd be okay with it when I made the agreement with our relationship was so strong. I don't know if I would have been okay with it then, but like at this point
in time, I'm not okay with it anymore. And it wasn't a freedom he was willing to give up, and he mostly was upset that I had changed my mind about everything, and then we ended up, and then we went therapy for a year, and we ended up calling it quits with our marriage, not because of the one year, but basically just because of like I was no longer the kind of person that would that, well, I no longer yeah yeah, and he and he was upset that
I had changed my mind because honestly, he had been this. He's the same person he was when I met him, and I'm not so I really don't hold any resentment towards him about that, and if anything, he's resembled towards me for changing my mind, and then also now kind of sharing our story in a way that I think he was a little surprised that people didn't look kindly on that. And people call it cheating, and he's like, you told everybody I cheated on you, and I'm like,
I know, I actually never did. I sent me in an agreement with you. You took advantage of it, and I'm not okay with it anymore.
And it is interesting though, that like, you can change your mind, but he is not allowed to change, like he didn't use it for so long. So he also changed his mind actually, and it's okay that it didn't like it's very that's very gas lady.
Well, I also he said he started using it because, well, you know, I had one baby breasted him for fifteen months. He didn't sleep for the whole freaking year. I was like up and down with my moods from my hormones, and I had got pregnant with another baby was covid. I was breastfeeding her and like he was like, well, you're not giving me sex. You know, that's like always the thing. You're not giving me enough sex. He's like, and sorry, I was once a week, but it was
like the like it wasn't like passionate love sex. It was like we got in this cycle of like me feeling guilt tripped into having sex and it's just not it wasn't working.
So yeah, well, I also want to affirm you too and just say, like, I hope his gas lighting of making you feel like it's your fault, that it's not your fault. I hope you can like let that like that you know that it's first of all, it's one million percent okay that you're not comfortable with your husband sleeping with somebody else and that you know you ended up not wanting that in your marriage. That is one
million percent okay. So I hope his gas lighting of well, you've changed you you you you you doesn't think in well, if I would have only done this, like we would be happy and I'd be married, and like, you know, I hope you don't carry his gaslighting.
Yeah, no, I feel okay about it. Like I take full responsibility for my part in that. You know, I did give him the impression that this was something I was going to be okay with, and I did. I think I felt bad for a while about like changing my mind. But now that we're you know, we're like almost two years into this divorce. That's like the never ending divorce. I actually, on June ninth, I have to move out of this house. Every day after I stay, I owe him a thousand dollars or I like really
need to move out. Like after this, I'm gonna like start moving stuff into my storage unit. I'm like living in the most tellish limbo right now. But I feel very good about I just know that we're I feel I believe in soul contracts. I believe we've meant to have our children together. He's a great father. I'm happy to do like this partnership with him. It would really suck if I had to speak to somebody every day who I can't stand. I have a lot of love for him, but I don't don't I don't want to
be in a partnership with him. He's just not my person. Nuts damn sure.
So next relationship, what do you want? And do you still think that men have to have because I don't know. Maybe I'm just like I mean, I've obviously been through the ringer with the x is, but I still believe, like I believe my fiance when he says he's never going to be with another I do. I believe him
he's never going to be inappropriate with another woman. And like I get people to say, there's a lot of people that have that same thing, like men are not supposed to just be with one woman like that, you know, monogamy is not normal and whatever they say, But I just I don't know, Like I know it's hard, I know it's stale and stuff, but I still just think like there's they're not that someone can be faithful.
Yeah, no, And I have a lot of respect for you with your story and your and you're with your ex, because I think it is a lot of there's this there's kind of this CULTU now of just like oh it's hard, let's move on, like let's give up. And I do believe in trying, but I also believe in really like listening to your gut and your body. And sometimes I do think when we know it's time to
move on, we have a responsibility to do so. And like I said, like I believe in soul contracts, and I think sometimes those contracts can totally be for a lifetime and sometimes not. And if you're with a partner who is growing with you, and you guys are are committed to checking in with each other and being on the same page and really trying to build a life where you are mutually helping each other's evolution, then for
sure that can last a lifetime. It's not easy, and I don't think that most people can do it well. But I have faith that you will because I feel like you've done a lot of work and you've you know, you've been through the trials.
Well, thank you. But for you, though, like what is going to be like do you want to get married again? Like do you what would you tell your new husband? Like what what? What's your stance? Now?
Oh my god, I'm on hingin Ryah right now. Yes, I started. Oh, it's like literally and.
What do you think about Rya because I feel like it's just like model boy, model boy, model boy, and they all like no, I mean the area is like whatever I mean I met I didn't meet my fans on Riya, but I mean like he lived in England when I met him. But it was like all these people on RYA are like not from anywhere close.
I feel like I know, they're like just they're like I'll be in La for like twenty days, like want to meet up for coffee. I'm like why, and then back to Brazil. I'm not having luck. I'm not gonna lie. I started talking to one guy, funny enough, he was from England too, and I ended up like finding out that he lied about his age and by like three years and my ex was fifteen years older than me.
Like I'm not afraid of an older person. So just to start off with a lie, and to be able to lie so effortlessly and about something so trivial, like I was like, okay, this is not a foundation I need to start with The other guy started talking to me, was like, yeah, I've been in polygamist relationships. I've been in blah blah blah. And I told him about my situation. She's like, it sounds like you were in a polygamoust relationship too, and I'm like maybe I was, but like yeah,
I mean I would love to get married again. I would love to have like some kind of a blend family that that's like a dream of mine. Right now, I feel like I'm in such a I just know that what I'm attracting is instability in another person, or like I'm seeking a person to try to make my life more stable because it has been just so okay. We've been nesting in one house, like he's been at our other house in Palm Springs while I'm here so
that we don't have to uproove with the kids. And now I'm gonna be renting when I keep like losing the It's like if my life is just very chaotic where I just don't see me attracting anything functional at the moment, I would love to get to a place where I feel so grounded in myself and like just really like in love with myself and so I can attract I just know that I'm not going to attract that until I get there myself. So do I want it to happen Dune, Yes, I'm going to have to
make some serious changes because I don't know. The wine every night is not doing it for me.
But there's a season, Like, don't be hard on yourself either, because there is a season, and space matters, like you're not even you don't even have your own home home right now, All of that matters. You can't settle a soul when you can't even you know, you have to settle inside some walls too. Yeah, And I think for sure the awareness that you have too is great because I remember when I got divorced, I just thought it
was like his issues and like not mine. So I just was like straight into a relationship and like the first person that like told me, I was pretty like fell you know, fell into and then you realize, like there is work to do. But also like I always equated happiness like in a relationship. So if I was
in a relationship, that means I'm happy. If I wasn't, then if I wasn't a relationship, that means that I'm you know, not lovable or I wasn't happy, so like I had to get to a place where I loved myself, happy with myself, and then that's when it found. But it took, you know a little over a year to I love myself and like you know, and that's sitting with yourself and doing some hard work, you know. But I mean you'll you will find like that person that will love you and that will not I know it's
out there because I've found it. I know I did.
Sweet whenever, like you find something that really works and you just like want to convince the other person. It's like I promise it's it's there. It's there. It's like you can you can you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. Like I feel like, yeah, we all need to like get there when when we're ready,
and and I do. I don't know if you found it a little different, but like since I do have two kids, I have a two and a four year old, I'm not like I remember my old self always being like I need the guy. I want to have the kids. I want to have the white picket fence. Like I kind of been there, done that, and like I have my kids. I always wanted to be a mother. I'm so happy to be a mother. But I don't really feel that timeline pressure anymore of like finding somebody to
be the guy to have the perfect life with. So it's almost like, I don't I feel kind of content in just if you're not, if you're not making my life more magical in some way, then then I'm really I'm not going to force it.
Well, it's a thing like one thousand percent. I was the same way. I'm like, I have two kids, I don't need any more kids. And it was not because I'm like, why would I settle to be in something I don't want to be. I will not be miserable again in relationships and like why would I settle? Like I got me and my kids, like I'm good, I
got my friends like happy. So yeah, if the settling aspect is like I was, like, I will never go back to that because I don't have that like ticking right time I'm like, oh my god, I need to have kids or you know.
And you know what I feel. It makes me feel so so sad because I'm like I'm able to afford a single life and a lot of women just aren't like they like, especially if they have kids and if their ex like doesn't make any money to pay child support and they're not making enough on their own. Like I'm looking for rentals right now, like within a ten mile radius of where my ex lives, like court ordered,
and it is so expensive to live here. I live in LA I mean, I don't know how anybody who isn't making good money can afford to not be in a partnership like they would. Probably that's probably like half the reason why these women are staying with men that they don't love, because they can't live without that half the income.
Yeah, that's that's so true. I remember, like, you know, I'll dm with a few girls that have you know, reached out, and that's like the number one thing they say.
They're like, I don't have like the resources or the money to get out, And I'm just like, oh, like that, Like it breaks my heart for them, because I never want anyone to like be in a situation where they they feel stuck and trapped and they can't get out because they can't afford it or And that's just like I was trying to do something like with Krista and we actually just talked about the other day, like something some kind of like single moms like charity where it's
like we can help like a mom, like here's rental rent for so many months or whatever the anpony is, Like.
It is a really good idea actually, Like they say in I think it's like the Scandinavian countries. There it's very common for them to live in communes and they
actually report like happier lifestyles. And we had something like that, like it's just like, you know, have a bunch of rich people donate and then buy some kind of a commune and it's like a place for moms and kids to go and live to when they're like in a transitional period and they afford, you know, to live on their own, but they're there, and I mean some of
these situations are abusive, you know. It's not just like oh I'm not happy in my marriage, which I feel like is reason enough to not stick around.
Hey, guys, throws in Scaniz and I'm Eric Winter and together we host that, he said Aadijo podcast. Yes, after eighteen years together fifteen married, we still disagree about a lot of things, but we do it with much more right Eric, Yes, dear, whatever you say. I mean, sometimes we're gonna be a dream pupper.
Okay, here we go again.
But I love the way we can be open and honest with each other. Yeah, maybe a little too much, but that's what people like, a real couple going through real things. Well, when we're not disagreeing slash arguing, we definitely chat with some fascinating people actors, musicians, life coaches, marriage experts. We definitely need those.
Oh God.
Anyways, we love our listeners and they've been so supportive through the years, so we must be doing something completely right. More listen to he said a yadio as a part of my coael Tura Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts or whatever. You listen to podcasts.
So you have a podcast now, I do, Yeah, I tell us everything about it.
One of my good friends. Yeah, it's called Barely Filter. It's with my good friend Kristin, and she she looks kind of like that, Kristin.
I mean we're copy paste. Yeah, she just had a baby. I'm getting ready to have a baby on this episode.
I didn't want to ask because you never asked that question. But I'm like, she looks round in these.
Macrol This is the most round one can look in the sense like we're literally thirty nine weeks.
Yeah, and having a boy or girl.
We don't know.
We're not find She didn't know either, And do you have other kids? Yeah?
I have a boy and a girl. So this is the type breaker.
Okay, she had two boys and she didn't. I think they didn't want to find out because it's to be so disappointed if they had another boy and it ended up being a girl.
Oh yeah, Statistically, that's like not like normal, Like right, isn't it hired to have, Like like Nicole's kid is like a third boy? Isn't that usually how it works?
I don't know. I know families with five girls. I know families with five boys.
Wow.
I feel like I lucked out with one beach.
But okay, so your podcast is with her barely filtered.
Yeah, and and we talk about we talk about pretty much everything. It's everything's very unfiltered. Talk a lot about
relationship stuff. She's happily married. She's kind of like one of those She's in one of those marriages where you just want to like geg because they're so like she like meet dangles him all over the internet, he's super hot, and we joke because she's like, she's like his six packs rubbing up against my pregnant belly, and I'm like, I don't think I've ever slept with a guy with a six pack, Like I need to be the hotter one.
I don't want to. I don't want anybody who's like making me feel like I need to go to the gym. But anyway, we talk about every thing. We talk about health. We have a lot of guests on who are specialists around like fertility moones, like diet stuff, glucose, a lot of kind of like spirituality aspects. We have some people who went through big traumas and talk about dealing with grief. Uh. Sometimes it's funny, sometimes it's sad. We laugh, we cry.
We were crying right before you came on.
Literally really yeah, yeah, you never know. You have to wear your water to proof mascara to recordings just in case.
I love that. I love the title too, because I love that you're open. But I'm curious, are you How are you with the headlines of things and comments and people because you have a public family. You're like one of five siblings.
Right, yeah, yeah, I mean I feel like I've dealt with it naturally. I've dealt with it a little better than some of my sisters have, just in terms of different backlash of things that go on in our lives. I honestly, I think I probably just engaged too much.
Like I'm that person who's like fighting with Joshmo and Minnesota because like that, and especially when when there was a lot of like hot politic topics, I feel like I was always kind of on the verge of being canceled because like, I'm pretty open about my beliefs about things, and they don't always align with a lot of like the the culture in.
LA Like give us one, what's what's an example of that? Because I want to get into it.
Well, the most recent thing that I got that I that turned into a huge thing was I I don't believe it is ethically or morally sound to to give a child any kind of drug that's going to change
their body or when they're young. Like I'm all towards I'm all about like transitioning as an adult, but I actually think it's criminal that parents are are giving their kids things that are helping them transit when their brains aren't even fully developed and people kind of I think people a lot of times are like they're hearing what they want to hear, and they're hearing me basically say, oh, she's anti trans and she's not supporting people who want
to change their gender or their sexuality, which is not what I'm saying. But like, I'm entitled to my opinion, especially with regard to children, and also just like having the kids wear masks and schools. I was very much against that, and that was people did not like that.
Yeah, I have my I.
Have my views on birth control. I would think birth control is fine. I think I think and Kristen's very anti birth control. Like our our views are very different in most things. Actually, like she's pretty extreme and I'm a little bit more middle of the road.
But wait, what's review on birth control? In what's hers?
She's very anti birth control, she thinks, and we actually have a guest coming on too, and who's going to talk more about birth and and basically she says that it's like it changes women more than we know, and that it's just really bad for you, that it messes with your like potential fertility and and your brain.
Were you on it? Were you on birth control, No, ma'am, so I never. I never took birth control either, even though I have, oh you have, Oh yes, I was never on birth control. Oh I was on birth control. I was just like a.
Big fan of it, Like it made my skin clear. Crazy.
So the pill made me crazy.
I U D.
I did do IUD for a while. Yeah, it made me nuts. In between, I'm not saying don't go on you know people out there, but I'm just yeah, it made me nuts. Yeah, I went crazy, and we don't need to be any more crazy, so no, I.
Know, Yeah, for me, I think it actually made me less crazy. I don't know if it had any long term effects, like maybe I'd be a better version of myself now had I never been on it. But my thing is like she also like muckerdoses mushrooms and she smokes weed, and I'm like, okay, how are you okay
with that stuff? Because it's like, you know, it's like fringe medicine, but you're not okay with like like sometimes I'm just like you're just you're just picking a side to pick a side, like you just want to be contrary.
But I think that's like America right now though, like everyone just like picks aside and digs their heels in. I'm like, it doesn't even have to be this polarizing. We could just actually listen to each other and like hear what we have to say, and that would be okay too. Remember those days when we used to all do that? Yeah?
What was it? I said?
Do you remember the days when we all used to do that, like actually hear each other and have a conversation instead of it being like like listen.
With the intent to understand, not to respond, and also like not just yes, I totally I'm one thousand percent This girl, Africa Brooks. I don't know if you've heard of her, but that's her whole shick that like everybody is afraid to speak or to be curious about something
without with the fear of offending somebody. Like I was just on a trip and there were two there were a couple, two dads and they have three kids, and I was like, I was like, Okay, this is probably the stupidest question, and I hope it's not not offensive, but I'm just so curious. I'm like, how do you know what which kid the dad's calling? Like if they call you both dad and they're like, there are no stupid questions, and I applaud you for for like asking me.
I feel like people sometimes just like don't say anything, which is more awkward. It's like we should feel free to ask our silly questions because we haven't all had the same life experience.
Right, what did they say? Because now I'm curious.
He said ones called daddy and one's called dad, but sometimes they call them both dad. But that they could tell just by like the tone of the voice. Ah, right, which makes sense.
Yeah, No, I mean I personally, and I even tell the girls because we haven't usually another host with us, Catherine, and she's our opposer. Usually. Well that's I'm like, don't agree with me because I'm like I don't want to listen to something where everyone's like yeah I agree, Like yeah, let's you know, I'm like, have a debate with me, like I you know, we have very different opinions, so let's like, let's voice that I think in this day
and age, like you're saying, it's people. Don't people just want to go straight to like, oh, you must be anti this, Like no, I'm not. I'm just these are just my views. You don't have to agree with me, and you also don't have to be mean and hateful towards it too. We're all afraid of being canceled too. Like I'm afraid of getting two people canceled because I have this is my best friend and my husband's in
country music. So I'm like, I have to be extra care, I know, because I could get both of them canceled fast.
I know. That's like my sister. My sister's like like my mom has very she has very strong views, and she's one of those people who just like put it all on Facebook, and my sister like made her delete all of it because it's like what we say is a reflection of each other in a lot of ways. And so sometimes my sisters will text me and be like, we take your story down right now, like we're not going the.
Wild card I to do.
I love you, Thank you guys.
Well, thank you for coming on Wine Down. I love you. I'm so glad that we were able to connect. And We're going to listen to your podcast and yeah when I'm in La this week.
Let's oh you're coming this week?
Yeah for a week.
Oh amazing. If you have to have three like forty five minutes and you're in West Hollywood, please stop by, dear media, because we would love to have you on.
It would be so fun. Yeah, that'd be so fun.
I would love to.
Help her pack a box because she's got to get out quick.
I know.
We got to get you out, girl, We've got to get you out of your place.
I know. Yeah. Then we'll go on like speed dating or something fun. Oh yeah, I'll swipe have any friends.
He's got a brother and he's got uh they're all married. I think the ones in English married. He's not married. He's got an older son. He's Scottish. Okay, the accents enough. I gotta tell you, the accents really get our little American hearts. They knock them out.
Best is your is your husband Scottish shoe or English or something?
No, mine's just super Southern. Oh yeah, Southern accents. How I get myself in this position?
So, oh my god. Yeah, maybe that's what I need. I just needed an accent. My ACX was from Boston and that accents, that's not it.
Speaking of birth control, that'll do it for me. And I hate to be offensive. That's a birth control for me. All right, girl, Well, we will chat with you soon. Thanks for coming on.
Okay, thanks so much guys.
Ye what a fun a. I love Wildcard Aurora. She's fun. I just like how like, I don't know, there's just something really free. But it's not a challenge. I was gonna say free. Yeah, it's not like you know how sometimes people that are free I'm putting in air quotes like that free speech are like a like liveing a fence. She doesn't. She's just like, yeah here I am. Yeah, yeah, once a year would never work for me. I just want to be really clear. I would never Oh yeah's
a bigger woman than I am. I again, I this is my have to stay politically correct and things. I gave mine seven but not because I said so. No. But if it works for you, that's great. I just know for me that ain't gonna fly. No. Same And I'm a little territorial Cramer, I mean you and I both Yeah, I'm but no, that's mine. Yeah, I set like it gets a little like that geo like animal kingdom. For me, I just well and I have and again I believe in the you know, the respect and the
love and that it will be hard. But that doesn't mean to go sleep with someone else, no, and personally for me in my relationships. And that's what I think is so cool though it is about these conversations is like it is. I felt like for a long long time everyone was quiet. It was like the minute someone made a mistake in a marriage, no one was working
on it. Like my Dallas mom Pam was the first person to sit down with me and be like, Okay, she was on her third husband when she was open about loved it, and she was like, listen, it's not always incredible. You really have to work well. And that's the thing too, Like we've both been a cheater in past relationships, and it's like I don't want that for that, Like that's not who I wasn't wanting to be or intending to be or any of those things, you know.
So like, and I think some people just don't work well together too. Yes, I just talked to someone the other day who's going through divorce and she was like, I mean he's a good person, and I'm like, yeah, it's okay that you don't mesh together either, right, Like, no matter the work. Wow, Craamer, we really went all over today. How's the contractions? I mean, I had a strong one. While I was talking to her, I hope
it's today. I feel ready. It's funny to feel ready because I've been so like hopeless romantic because I know this is my last time. That's the emotional part. Yeah, like I here we go. Oh, I know, nobod, it's good. Why you crying because that's what I do. No, it's just hot when it's your last. Like, I didn't think i'd even get to do this again. So I've just hear. Yeah. I mean I acted like legend was our last anyways, and I soaked it up, and you know me, I'm
just such a feeling creature anyways. But yeah, I'm like really ready to know who this person is. And then I just also am like, oh, like every kick, I'm like taking videos. It's like I can't bottle it up fast enough. It's a lot. When more week, maybe less, maybe another hour? Well, my last baby, why don't you send us off? Oh creamer, goodbye house, Goodbye pregnant belly. Next time we are on Windown, we'll be out of a different location and down one lass heartbeat on the couch.
I love you, I love you too. This is a good end of the chapter. Front I'm proud of you. Proud of you baby. Let's pack a box and have a baby. Okay, yours not mine. Mine's too soon. Go bye and bye. Mhm