Finding the Groove

in that moment. It was great. And then I loved our experience on the beach too, just like taking that minute to just really soak it in and everything. Um, but I have I have cheese grapes, and I wish can I describe what's in front of you? Okay, so on the sweetest little cocktail, big tea play. I need to really frame it. It is a big It isn't Dixie, there is I'll start with this, I think what I believe to be a wheat, then a few of those some red grapes, and my favorite part, it just really

feels like you care about me. It is some sort of cheese cube. Several we're not going to get crazy. We each could have two and a half cheese cubes and they each have a toothpick. Is not to cross contaminate. And it all just matters a lot to me. I have no idea what this means. But I was like, well, what you doing up here? We're having a little Sam's Club sampler on a Saturday. What's going on trying my cheese?

It's great? Uh No, I just got back from therapy and I walked into this platter of and let me just set the stage too. Is this gonna happen for me tomorrow? I don't know. If it does, I'm gonna be like that was for me. Um. But I it's been like a crazy you know, with Thanksgiving and the birthdays and um and filming the Chicago fire stuff. It's just been a lot of UM. I've just been like on the go so much. And I told Amy, you know a few things our therapist and just was like, oh, girl,

like there's just so much going on. And and so I walk in and mind you, right before I go to therapy, I had I worked out, but I didn't have time to eat right, So I just through a prute protein shake in the car because I was just rushing from one thing to the next, right, and I'm just like, God, I'm starving, Like I should have grabbed a protein bar or something. I love that the other option is to chew the protein and so of drink the protein. If anyone's wondering what a Janet Cramer action

figure looks like. The protein bar is not sold separate, Well, I'm getting off of those, not like I'm trying to eat, you know, just like the real foods, really cold cold drinking. And so I was just thinking, like I'm starving, and I walk in and Amy has this like beautiful plate of I ate all the strawberries, which is why this robberies aren't on there just like here it takes them

to go. And I was like, what is this? And she goes, when you sent me that email that it's just it's been a really crazy season and some of the things that we discussed over the phone over Thanksgiving because I just had a few you know, when you just have those sessions like I need to talk to you like right now, ya um, like processing a few things. Yeah, And you know, She's like, I just think that you forget to sit and nourish and also celebrate you too.

And she's like, so this we're having a little party and I want you to sit here and like eat, you know, share what we have to share and work there. But I was just like, I was like, you have no idea, Like I started crying. I was just like I'm so hungry and like, hey, I'm with this beautiful spread and she's so it was really sweet and then yeah, we threw a party because something that I had told her about, um you know, uh you know, my birthday and um the holidays, and she was just like you're who.

She's like, We've had seventy sessions since I've known you, and she's like this is the this is the like the most proud I've ever been, Like, this is the you're like you've come to you know. And it was just like really, I was like, but I feel that, Like I even texted you something after wind down because I was like, I'm just really proud of you, I know, and we're not good at like accepting that it's like weird for our type or something. But I just thought back.

I was like I sat back and I was like thinking about it. I'm like, not only did you well first of all, you flew home in a whirlwind, like after wind down. I think you had like literally sixty three minutes in your house to like king back, yeah, and get right back to the airport with the kids, to drop the kids off in Michigan so then you could fly to Chicago because you wanted them to be cozy and tucked in. I mean, that's just like it's

so much and you're doing it alone. I think people assume sometimes you have like full time nanny or Katherine's with you all the time. But Catherine has three kids and a husband, a husband she's choosing to keep, so like now she's busy having sex in her vest life. So anyways, I just had that moment when I was like, you know what, it was the night your movie came out. I was flying home with two kids, all right, RSB,

who's living the best life? And I kept thinking, Um, I didn't spread it on the plane for those of you haters, um, but I just kept thinking, I was like, here you are, like you just don't want to get a breath, to chew anything more than a protein bar, but also to even celebrate the winds and the hard work. Thanks. I appreciate it. What it's crazy. I was talking to her too, and I said, um uh, I was saying, last year, I kept a toxic relationship around because I

didn't want to be alone for the holidays. In this year, like, I'm so excited to be alone for the holidays and not have someone. So today my girlfriend was like, do you want to come to Jamaica and January? And I was like, no, I want to go to a beach by myself. Like not envious of the single part I have. I have a cute little family. I just I just missed the quiet. Yeah, and I think that's like what we were explaining. What I was kind of telling her today.

I was like, I know, I'm I know one day I'm going to find my one and I'm going to host all the in laws. Yeah, and I can't wait for that day. But but I don't need to rush to get there. And like I'm actually like from kind of the nothing last year. Last year's served its purpose

and and I needed that. Maybe you know, I didn't want to be alone, but like this year, it's like I I look forward to really getting to know myself in those moments and spending time alone and yeah, embracing it and just not being sad about the fact that I'm not like in love in the holidays or I have a boyfriend, like I'm enjoying just like really truly

just being in love with yourself. Yeah. Yeah, speaking of being in love though, UM, we are going to take a break and we're going to get on these three beautiful women who are starring in a TV show. Um it is called, uh well, it's called Back in the Groove and it's kind of like a plan still out a groove back Um. It premiers um on Hulu. So we're gonna get Sparkle, Brook and stuff on in a second. Everybody, Hi, ladies.

Three out of three we have Brooke, Sparkle and stuff um who are on the Hulu show Back in the Groove, and I, um, I have we have. Me and Christen have a lot of questions, um, because when I was reading the breakdown, I was like, oh, these women are They're beautiful, but and then I saw dating I'm gonna go date half their age, and I was just like, oh, I have so many questions because I remember I have a few younger stories of dating younger. One was great

and one was tragic. So I'm just curious, like, have you guys dated someone younger than you prior to doing the show? I have. I have a couple, maybe like three relationships that were younger and someone was good. We were together for about four years. I just didn't end up you know, going into marriage or whatnot. Um, there was a bit of a you know, emotional immaturity there. We weren't on the same page after you know, three or four years. So that was that. And then the

other one, UM was very tragic. It was very dysfunctional, very toxic. Um. So yeah, you know, I've never I wasn't always into younger guys or you know, when I was in my twenties thirties, I always dated my age, but as I got older, younger men kind of were always approaching me. So I was just like, okay, why not. But um, yeah, I mean they bring like a you know vibe, you know, a vibrant energy and their fun um.

But they typically bring abs as well, which is nice. Yes, I'm a personal trainer, so it's you know important for me to have like to be with a guy who's taking care of himself and whatnot, and you know, it's never hurts, so but yes, it depends on the man. It depends on their life experience. But yeah, I've had a little bit of both. So here's a question, and I don't know. If you all don't feel like sharing it, that's fine. But you look so young to me that, like,

to me, half your age would be about twelve. So I'm confused what are we we're dealing with here because you all look so young and beautiful? Well thank you? Um yeah, not half my age, definitely not. You guys are in your forties, right, I'm forty three now, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's because when I was reading, I was like, all right, like, you know, forties, and I'm like, have you been married? Have you guys all been married before? Or or no?

I have Okay, how long were you married? For? Staff? For like two weeks? Amazing? Same kind one of those. We were in a situation we were really really young. I married my son's dad, and you know, I just it was just kind of one of those things where it was just like, all right, well, we're young, we don't really want to do this, but my mom was like, no, you have to. You know, you have kids now, and this is you know what it is. So we got married and after we got married, we just realized that

we weren't getting along. So, you know, it was just one of those things where we didn't want to, um, you know, raise children in a household where they didn't see their parents, um, loving on each other and showing each other love and you know, growing up in a really happy home, you know, versus you know, raising kids in an environment where you're constantly arguing and you're fighting and there's always something going on. So I was mainteened.

So it was just one of those things where I should have been reading books as a most playing house, you know. But you know we did that. We you know, as far as with dating younger, I've only done three years. So this has been a whole brand new experience for me totally. So we're trying nineteen over again. That was happening. It was just I don't know, things just about it buzzing. I was like, okay, let's just try something new, you know,

why not. I think there's something to where um, you know, now that I'm single and you know, divorced now at almost a year and a half or more than that, but the younger guys, there is something to be said that they definitely again, I'm I'm gonna be forty next year. They they really do make you feel like a queen. Mm hmm um. I I just don't think I would be. I don't know, I'm just thinking about now. I'm like,

I think there's that piece of um. It's I've rarely found someone under, you know, Like I've kind of sat like I don't want to go below thirty five because when when it ducks into that like thirty, I mean, there's just so much. It's like I'm a mom and it's like are they you know, are they secure, confident?

Um mature? It's like you'd have to find I would have to find a very old young for it for me personally, because I'm like, I don't have I don't want just an f buddy, right, So it's like do you do when you guys wanted to this, Like did you Are you looking at it from like I'm trying to find my one or is like I'm just gonna be fun because I think I think there's a season for both right where it's like, yeah, I'm gonna go.

Like my girlfriend just slept with like a really young dude whatever, and she's like whatever, this is a fun piece time in my life and like who cares? But like, or are you actually going on thinking? Like okay, like I could actually find my one among these younger guys. I went out there just to have a good time. Yeah,

you know, it was just I didn't. I was just really open to like the possibility of you know, maybe meeting someone who is so amazing that changes my mind and makes me think, you know what, maybe I can give this a shot. But you know, I had like a really rough year, you know, with the cancer and then my surgery and stuff. So I wasn't really like, Okay, I just I just wanted to have fun and whatever fun meant, whatever fund meant, or whoever fun with meant,

you know whatever, That's what I wanted to do. And I didn't. Yeah, I sparkle, what about what about you? Ben? Well? I also went to I'm gonna type of person. I'll try anything once. And I David someone a few years younger, not significantly younger. UM. I have always, um wonder what it would like, wonder what it'd be like to date, you know, with an age gap. I have even really dating me abouty much older, except one time that was

a horror story. So I was anxious, you know, to meet somebody younger and just to see because I don't, you know, I feel like age is just a number. I want to have fun as well. I've been married. I got married at a high school when I had a baby two years after that, and then I was running my business for twenty years, so I was kind of ready to let go of being so serious. I'm just to see what else was out there. So I

also went to have fun. So I married. My first husband was five years younger than me, and it was really great for the first few years, I think, just like the passion and the craziness, and then there was this I feel like a period of time where I super sped up and he kind of stayed the same, and I became kind of mother like is that a fear that you have or something you've experienced before, Like, because it is a tendency in just women in general to be so nurturing that we can kind of take

this like a weird rule over and become mother like to these younger guys. I think that's why my relationships didn't work out, because there was this stagnicity of growth um and I was became resentful and I wasn't. I lost some respect for him, and so yeah, there's definitely that, UM, but I think that can happen and with any relationship really matter how old the guy is, um. There you have to really be on the same page with someone. And you know, a relationship lasts only if you guys

are on that same path and continuously growing. So UM, trust me, I've had I know, a lot of marriages, you know, friends that you know, relationships have stopped, um and ended because of those same issues and they're the same age or you know, they're older than my problems. But I think it's just, you know, it really depends on the person and their willingness to work and do the work and be committed to the relationship and love each other. And but yeah, there's a lot of that.

I am taking a step back, Like I came into this experience and went on the island and had this you know, wanted to have this amazing experience. But you know, of course with the younger men, but I've always wanted to find my person. I've never been married. I've been engaged in my twenties and have gone through you know, long term relationships and I just have never found the

one that you know as my life partner. So regardless of they were, if I was going on the island to meet younger guys or my age or whatever, I'm still looking for my person even to this day. So, um, you know, I'm still looking for my person no matter what. So spoiler alert, you don't end up with the person, then on the show, you'll have to see you. I'm

so excited. But I think, like the staff, it goes back to like what you said to and it's especially like the closer I am to forty, I'm I'm kind of like I look at things in seasons, right, So it's like after my divorce or this past summer, I was like I had h hockerel summer and it was so fun and because I didn't want to be in

a relationship and I just wanted to have fun. And I think it's okay to like have these different seasons, and um, you know, at first, when I was reading the breakdown, I was like, oh, like, you know, these these girls are beautiful, and like I really want them to find their one and I wish that they would also maybe thrown in you know guys. But I also know it's a TV show and that's a different twist to to it. And again that like fun opportunity, So

that's that's awesome. Um So yeah, I can definitely see like how you would look at it that way and go, you just went for you know, a good time and um and who knows. And I think age is truly just a number. But I think it's just when I draw from personal experience, I'm just like, like, what would I you know, what would fit best with like me and the kids. And at the end the day, it's like it is it's not the guy who knows how old,

but it just has to be the right fit. Um So Ta Digs as the host of this and I want to talk about if anybody found Ta Digs to be there one because he used to be everything to me a feet I would say like, what when was he a big deal to us? He is? He canceled that question in the world of guys that are in relationships and they act singles. So I don't think any of us were looking at you that way. We just kind of saw me. It was just really cool and he was, you know, he was really funny and stuff.

So I'm focused on the guys there, and that's fair. I just got excited when I saw Tay I. I didn't know he was in a relationship be there, but they know and that's important exactly. That's good. That's good. So did you girls have to because obviously we haven't seen the show yet, but have you guys? Did you have to like like fight to like pick a guy, like what if one of you guys like the same guy or how or is it like you guys both just got your own little bundle of boys setting over us. Yeah,

there was no time. Yeah, it was never and never a time that any guy that we could have potentially you know, been into. It never overlaps. So that all that worked out and we were into some pretty cute guys. You know, we all had our fete favorites and it just never it just never overlapped. So that was really good. I love that Chris and i Ey gets mad at me whenever I'm like, oh, this is actually pretty funny.

One of my girlfriends boy this check. I guess my ex husband didn't know that we were friends, and he liked her profile on a dating app and she was like, oh my gosh, I'm dad look who liked my profile, And so then I sent it to my AX and I said, hey, do you wanna do women to hook it up? Because she's like a girlfriend of mine. Because I'm like, I just want people to find their ones, you know what I mean, Like I'm not like ed straight up make out with somebody and be like not

for me, but you know who would love this? And I'm like, what is happening? That is just not how I operate. I just want people to find their one. Something might not work for me but work for someone else. And I don't know, does any okay kind of have a scenario We did kind of have a scenario where two of us had a couple of us had maybe a common interest kind of and then the other ones, the other ones like go for it, yeah, and we

were like, are you sure? I think that's our age again too, though I think it's the girls in their forties who are just kind of like, you know, we want people to what would you say stuff? Oh yeah yeah, but we're just thinking when we're at our age now, it's just like we you know, we're not going to settle, right because I mean, especially like Brookly you were saying, I mean, you've you know, you're you're you're not going to settle, You've you've waited. It's like, so you're gonna

you're gonna wait for your one. So it's like if someone doesn't work out for you, there's no hard feelings to go, Hey, this might work out for Jessica. I don't know, and don't you also agree? Like at our age, So I just I'll be forty one in a couple of months, and I feel like our intuition is so like it's getting super clear now, so it's like if it's not, you just know kind of quickly do you agree with? Yeah? I know totally. Yeah. About it too was that we all were we all liked what we liked,

so we really like overstepped like what Brook like. Spark and I really didn't like like it. I mean, it wasn't that we didn't like it, but it was just like that's just not our vibe, you know what I mean? And then were Sparkle and I we were just so in tune with what you know, with each other and

what we like. I think everybody was just like you like him or you want to look at you said, you know, everybody, damn wait, can we like, since I'm like single too, can we all go on like a girl's like Miami trip please and just like Miami, but you guys can come, Oh my god done. I'm like, I got our week off in December, so like how fun would that be just to go I'm like and be like, all right, you got that one. I got that one. And then we're just like each other's We

were each other's wing man. We each other's wing man. We did a little bit of gossip in had to kind of change data. So this really had his benefits.

So when we go on his girl trip, we'll be able to you know, we've been put it together intulate because I think it's like again like we have and I think Kristen always says it too like the older and we get we're like you said, we listen to ourselves more were And my therapist was just saying to it, she's just like your your body is letting you know when something isn't safe for when it's um triggering you so like and you're listening to that more and so I think that's such a good a good thing to

have and you know, um, I don't know. I'm just like it's all it's all good, like I'm excited. Okay, wait, so there's three of you on this island, Tay Digs, I just want to mention one more time. And then also, how many how many of this like young man collection have we brought to the island? What started with twenty four men? Yeah? What's their ages? Roughly? Uh one to what they're getting three? Okay? Right? Yeah, yeah, very and yeah. I to have fun. I came here and I'm still

let's just say I'm still having fun. Oh, I got spark. I can you guys? I really am interested to Brooke has this look on her face like she just has some information that she's not allowed to share, and I'm just really excited to watch her. I can just tell there's something. There's so much we can't share. I know you can't. And I'll give you an I'll give you a hand. What is gonna give us? I'll say, I give you a hand, Brook, I give you a hand.

Brook has another nickname. It's all dress Brook. Watch out Wait what is it called dress red Dress Brook? That that's that's the author ego that we never knew existed. And one of those young strapping men with abs just came in unlocked red dress Brooks One Lady, Was it one or was it a few? Ess? Flavorful sparks. I've had a variety of flavors on the island, so it was a lot of fun. I cannot this is I

cannot wait to watch. It's something just so up my alley because I'm so like, there's nothing against the bachelorettes that have been on, but there's something about women that are the same age and just like watching experience life, knowing the things that we've all been through. And so it's I'm excited to watch that because I'm like I can relate to y'all versus watching a twenty five year

old girl. Yeah, I just I can't being done. And it's about time that, you know, we see women in their forties, late thirties, forty isn't just full of life, still just wanting to find love or just have some fun. And you know, life's not over, Life's just beginning. You know. It's I think done that too, especially like when you get to your forties or your thirties, days just automatically assume like, okay, well you guys are getting older now.

So it's it's done for you where we feel like, you know, you know, you're getting into your forties, just turned forty two, so it's like I feel like I'm just getting started. Like I feel like, you know what I mean, Like I'm alive. Like certain things, you know, my sentences are heightened. Everything just looks different. I'm a tractor to different things now. You know, when we were younger, it was like you weren't really looking too deep into things,

you know what I mean. Everything was like kind of surface level kind of way. You know. Now it's like, I don't know, it's a lot hotter now, it's it's sexier, it's spicier, it's a you know, the chemistry is different than yourself having this type of a show like this because you know, so we you never see that on TV. You see all the younger girls, but what happens after because we all, you know, we all grow past thirty, you know, and you know, so it's like, you know,

when you get to forty, it's not over. So I really I really appreciate this type of show and then making something like this to show the rest of the ladies that you could still be forty. Yeah, And that's and that's why I'm like I genuinely was like, oh my god, these ones are my girls, Like they're like they're my age. Like this, I'm gonna watch this because like that's the kind of stuff that like I can

relate to. And yeah, maybe not relating to the twenty two year old guy, but like the season of like the fun again and remembering I can remember how Girls summer and like, you know, it's like it's just cool, like to relate to like what you guys have all gone through and then again our ages. It's like, I just I love that so much more and I'm glad that who was doing that. Like we like know ourselves at this point in our lives. We're not ways time and we own what stage or what season we're in.

If you want to have a heart Gil Summer, like we do it, girl, and we own it and we're not ashamed of it. And we're living the lives we want to live. So it's like empowering. It's it's not we're not living for someone else anymore. You know, we've gone through so much in our lives. Um, you know basically shoot me, you know, shoot me up and spit me out, and um when I went on the show, it was like I was finally needing that escape and it was exactly what I needed, just to find myself again,

um and have some fun. So I hope it's inspiring to the younger girls too. You know, there's a lot of twenties some things out there that feel like they've kind of grown up. And I don't know if you'll ever felt like this, but I came from a pretty tiny town where it was like prom engagement babies, so if you weren't married right away, it was whatever. And I just have spoken this word over our younger generation so often, like you just find you and the rest

will figure itself out. And I hope that these younger girls get to see three stunning in their forty year old women just living their best life and knowing exactly who they are, listening to their intuition and not settling for anything less. That's like the key to It's like because you guys know you're not going to be alone forever, Like it's you might not find them for a while. But again, it's like that's kind of where I was telling person before the show, Well, I was at the

therapist today. She was like, we were kind of talking about like how I was, you know, actually looking like I stayed last year in a relationship that was toxic because I didn't want to be alone for the holidays, and now this year, I'm like, I'm looking forward to

being alone for the holidays. And she was saying that there was like this like um sacred window where she's like, there's a chair, and she's like, if you keep it occupied with the wrong thing, the person, there's gonna be someone that can't sit down that's meant to be next to you. And so she's like, you know, she's like, yes, it will be people that come and sit down from time to time. She's like, but you don't want to keep that wrong person sitting there because then you're going

to miss out. And she's like, and there will be someone that occupies that chair in that space. She's like, it just might not be you know, in six months or a year, whenever it is. She's like, but you don't want to you don't want to hold onto something that's not who should who should not be sitting there.

Let's and we know who should not be sitting there, and we do, we know in our bodies, Like and now that we're again, we're more aware, and that's like I think again, coming to the age stuff is like your body tells you, you know, and like now we have the voice to be like no, I'm good, Like I know, I'm not gonna deal one forever. I'm just gonna take some more space alone next to the chair. I really have an empty chair. I don't want to popularly.

I know a lot of maybe simber romances that have lasted, and they're like full of fire, and I want to say, does these days these younger guys, especially some of the guys that came to the island were pretty like well established and were pretty ambitious and had ambitious goals or already had ambitious careers. And you know, it's not just the thing where the woman, the older woman has to be the cool of his sugar mama or the guy has to be the boy toy. These guys were wise,

they had things to offer. I love them were but quite a few of them had things to say, you know, and we're just definitely mature. So it just kind of like put things in perspectives. Okay, age is really just a number. Seriously, I could definitely open myself up to you know, seeing what seriously something could be with the

younger guy because I've never experienced young guy before. But going on the show, I was able to see that, Okay, this is not just this dynamic where it's like some dud and then you know an older mature woman, he's actor, you know what she has. This was really, um an enlightenment experiencing that. I mean, I found the guys to be attractive. I was shocked. I was shocked. What's what's one thing that you guys all like to wrap it up?

Like the one thing where, um, something that you took away about yourself, like what you learned about yourself through going through the show. In the process, I had a bunch of breakdowns and breakthroughs on this show. So I feel like I learned. I feel like it's almost like a rebirth. It's like, it's my sound so corny, but I feel like, um, I went to the show one way and I left another way. It was it was really like life changing for me. I think eating eating

my group sisters. It was just like, I don't know, it was met in a way. You know, it was like wow, it was a really great experience. You know, you'll see you'll find out in the episodes, UM, a little bit more about each and every one of us. But you know, I I stuffered pretty significant loss in my life leading up to the show. I was grieving, UM, and so the show allowed me to escape my my life for a little bit. Sorry, I'm getting a little emotional. UM. Wow,

you'll never put alone on the show. I promise you. Don't you dare to start, I can't. UM allowed me to escape my life for a little it and kind of really tap into like who I was again. Um, and like stuff said, I felt like I was really born and I don't you know they say all reality TV whatever whatever, but it was. It was the best thing that I ever did for myself to reinvent myself, to find myself again, to heal. There was some instance where we were we we I mean the sisterhood that

we formed. I am so grateful to this day for because without them, I could not I'm not the person I am today. And I came back home and I knew who I was again. I'm like, yes, this, I am Brooke, like Brooke is back and I am so confident in myself. The world is my oyster like I am. I am just so excited for this new chapter in my life. And I couldn't have done it without the girls.

And I just feel like the Sisterhood Reformed was was everything, And we were on this journey together every single day from you know, when we woke up to when we went to bed. Um, we were together in this and I'm just so grateful for it. Um back a new woman and I'm I'm I'm on fire. I feel like I'm I'm just you know, yeah, read she's she's there, spark. What about you? That's that's that's amazing. You know this, I would say the same thing. Um, I've rediscovered a

lot about myself. UM. One of them one of the things for strength, you know, and you think, oh, why would you think strength? You know? One of them to me guys. But you know, it's just a new experience for me. Um. I think I'm going through a season of so many changes. So I was a little bit scared, you know. Um again, I just closed my business for twenty years. I don't know anything else. It's all I know. My son he just empty and I'm just empty nest

and you know, my son just left. And now I'm embarked on this new journey with these girls, and that was probably the most pivotal part, was to be able to create these relationships with them. Um, the guys was great, but I had a permanent sisterhood. Uh. This relationship that we force, it's just amazing. We still talk every day everybody. We're not talking about anything at all. We are always connected to one another, and that is priceless. I'm gonna carry that with me for the rest of my life.

This experience was the experience of my time. Unnot wait to watch you now. Girl. It's entially rarity to have people come out of reality TV and all three feel the way you guys feel. The ladies feel the way you feel. Really special, that's great. You should be part of our little group chats and all the stuff. I mean, would love and I want you girls way more fun and group. Yeah, I'm just married with a couple of babies. But I'm here for the commentary. Oh well girls, I'm

so excited to show. We'll do a girls trip. Um. But in the meantime, I'm going to watch Back in the Groove and I want everyone to on Hulu. You girls are so beautiful and I just yeah, this is this is not the end, it's just the beginning. So catch us in Miami. Happy birthday, Thank you, thank you so much. All right, guys, appreciate chelsee soon by girls.

These are like fun girlfriends. We need them, yeah, especially well it's hard sometimes, like I love my queendom obviously, but yeah, but it's you know, you guys are all married. I'm the only single one. I know. You had a half a chance with Katherine. Go damn real, he was like pulling for that one. I'm kidding, I would never. I always like, I was so happy, happy, and even like when she was like we barely actually start after you,

You're not the same human. No, like if if I would call for you, but I love pressing too much to ever acting, but that would be but do you know what I mean? Like, yeah, you know because Katherine and I speak different love languages, like she she touched for instance, yes, that and like she would want to be alone, whereas I'm like, let's go to Miami, you know, and she was like, or we could just head to

a craft fair. Like for example, when we were in California, me and Kristen were like, we want to go feel the sand under our toes and be real, berthed, salted air and like and wash aware. Insecurities were like words on the beach and the waves and the tide took them back to my mother Earth. And we really we were like holding hands and just crying and like you know, just like praying, and and then we're like, can't you want to come? And there's like it's so much fun.

She's like, I'm just gonna stay here and work in the hotel. She's got her laptop and her little tiny bag of chocolate crackers and she was like I'm good here, like okay. And then when we were there there, I was like, oh, this makes so much sense. This is not Catherine, Like she'd be rolling her eyes that are like write something in the sand to let the way do you want to be let's baptize you get She's like, I'm good actually, per my last email click click click

click click click, that's more cats stage. But when we came back though, she was so like, oh, this is the time I needed to be alone and it was so good for us. Yeah, and we were like we'reborn. We came back so happy. She was really dealing with a lot before we left, oh man. But yeah, so sometimes again, I would never want any of mine. That's

why I'm finding new friendships. Yeah, you have to like Krista, like she's you know, she's obviously um someone that it was single, and that that's to to have that like to go out with or to hang with, or to understand, like you know, with the Christmas stuff. I was telling her, like we both stayed in like those relationships. Now we're like, oh, are so proud of to see each growth and like help each other, and so I like to have those

relationships too. And then the fun one, so like you know, like those worlds would be like my like fun when I want to, like they are so cute and they're

actually just so sweet and kind. Yeah, it's interesting because I had this relationship with a friend a couple of years ago who was married but in a real toxic marriage, and I really stayed the course for a long time thinking that I don't know, maybe I could just be like a sense of light or a sense of like reason or whatever, and I didn't quite see it at the time of the toxicity kind of took over my marriage too, little by little, like so now it's like

what you're saying, but even in marriage I need to find married friends that are like praying for my marriage and assuming the best of my husband, or you know, like you can vent a little, but really it just comes back to like being supportive and trying to help each other and navigate it or leave it on a good note. And I was in this. I didn't really realize how toxic it was at one point, but it was so nasty. That's such a um a true thing that you just said to because I'm sure, like you know,

you've come to me obviously and told me things. And if I was like, Preston, that's son of a whatever, all that bleeds into your then thoughts and yeah, but you're always roll around it because you love him. Well no, that's what I'm saying. But if I wasn't like and like, if you're around people like that, they're just like, oh, like he sucks or how could he like that? Again bleeds in so then you're gonna start thinking like, yeah, he does suck, and then that's going to affect your marriage.

Whereas you know, if you have people that go, I don't like what he did, but like, so how is you know, So what's what's y'all's plan? And then, but but I love you guys regardless. I know you guys are gonna like fight through it. Yeah, it just takes. It's it's really finding those friends special are better to find people that will pray for you, pray for your relationship, pray for your marriage, whatever the season is for anybody. Like, remember I liked your ex, I would say I like

him as long as you like him. Oh yeah, yeah, but the minute you stopped liking him, be out right because it matters, Like, I'm not gonna you know, you just don't. You don't need The world is negative. We all have our own insecurities, our own traumas, our own pastwork and against us anyway. So the last thing we need is some voice that's standing in a friend gap, posing as a friend and a supportive person saying you know this, this, this and this. It's just not helpful.

It's like you also are brillly brilliant person, so you don't need me to tell you much. Well. I also want to say too, though, when you say mentioned that about Max. Yes, y'all aren't friends. But for example, if you would have came to Jason's party like you would, you know you're still you'd still cordial, still nice. It's like, that's interesting because I had a moment with that. I haven't seen him since the second day, since he came here. It was still it was still officially his home, and

I saw him. I saw him on the stories at your party, and I thought I had this Charlotte moment from the Sex and as Andy I cursed the day you were born. I was like, what would I say to him, because my default is to see him just as the is a human, you know, not I don't know.

And I had to have a minute where I was like, Okay, I would have to you know, Detroit, Kristen would have to go in the back seat, and I would just have to be really I would never be mean to him anyways, but it was I did have a moment I'm not gonna lie with I thought, what would I even say to him because I haven't I don't we don't have kids in the same soccer group or all the things. And I know a lot of the queendom has run into him in other situations, so they're like, oh, yeah,

I saw him, no big deal. And I'm like, I haven't seen him in a year and a half, and it's okay to have those. I think even like my friend um Josh who's the husband of s she was there, um uh you know he was just like this was really big of you. And he's like, um, he's like I see, I know, well yes, but like he's like he's like, um, it doesn't take a way any of it. He's like, I just want you to know that, like

it doesn't take away. And I was just like, thank you because it's it's not, um I was, you don't have The thing is that you don't have to say anything. That's the thing because it's just like hi, like because there's no point in having like the because you can still have your feelings and still be cordial. And I think that's like the place that I've gotten to now. It's like, well that doesn't take away X Y and Z. I would always rather be the group of friends that

he's like really miss them. You know, of course he would.

You guys were awesome, But I would rather be that person to him always than and not like I'm braiding his hair or something if he had any But I'm just saying, like just to always be like best foot forward and like be you know that the higher road yeah, and because again it's just I've really just gotten to a place where life is just so short and I don't know, and I'm like, I just I don't want to hold onto any thing negative or just the things.

I just I don't want to hold it. It's like it doesn't take away from things, but I can still, you know, in that time, I was like, Okay, I can still in this moment, like do this for my children and and just be like to disassociate. Yeah, it's like, I don't know, but there's something fun for you in your birthday week that I did. Um starting at thirty nine up into my fort eve, I started making a list of things I would not carry into the year

into my fourth decade. And I think anybody could do it at any age, but I think it's really significant between thirty nine and forty to just really decide. And the decided heart for a forty year old is so different. It's just so life changing. Wow. I love that because like, for the next year, I'm going to weed out and you just down so I can then at forty because forty, it's like, that's why I was kind of thinking, like when I was from my thirty nine and just like

I'm okay being alone. I'm a thirty nine and like folding laundry and doing a bubble bath and having a quiet house. And then because I know, forty, like the year like you said, like the year from I'm gonna get rid of all like and just really just like share my truths and shed things. And and then forty, I want the biggest blowout birthday. I gotta I am busy so like and by the way, when need to start planning like in January. But I just wanted to be this huge bash and just like the celebration of

like life, the new and the life. Yeah, yeah, okay, um, this is good. What a fort empowering episode we've had here, Like, it's very empowering today. It is, I like when we feel old but still young, right. I love I'm coming into this new forty is my freaking favorite. Like I'm like, like I get excited. There's something really cool about getting older.

It's very set apart. It's a difference for sure. Well, in the meantime, we're going to eat from the Dixie Dixie play cheese cubes on a toothpick if anyone needs um. I don't know when this hairs but I love you guys. And Happy Birthday by thanks by, I love you.