Flyind Down with Janey Kramer and Michael.
Coffin and I'm her radio podcast Another Monday.
I'm actually in a really good mood.
You are in a good mood, and I keep.
Asking you, are you okay?
You just keep kind of just because I'm not matching your energy.
Well, hey, there's something to be said about that, though, because there's times when you know I'm not matching the energy and anything something's wrong with me.
So I think it is something.
But you know, sometimes I think it was because the other day you were like, I'm just like so blah, and I'm like, Okay, is there anything surrounding that, because if there is.
I'd love to hear. If not, go be blah dude, I'm grab my glass of wine. I'm gonna go watch Dancing with the Stars. See you later.
No, I think it's in any relationship. It's one of those things where it depends on the degree of passiveness that has existed in a relationship. So at times I feel like I'm more I question maybe your blindness.
Because I'm usually not blah, because usually.
You're not blah, and when you are, there's usually a reason behind it, Like there's some passiveness behind it, so.
I'm like, and it makes sense.
Ninety eight percent of the time, something eventually comes out. I keep chipping away at it, but I will say that I wrote something down to bring up about that was I haven't said, you know, the other day when I was blah or whatever and you kept asking me, I wasn't like.
I didn't like, I wasn't harping. I just was like, I was giving you moments of.
Hey, bab I as well checking are you sure you're okay?
Yeah, you gave me opportunities. Yeah, but you weren't pessed about it. And I even affirmed you that night because to me, it felt so good to be able to just be blah for no reason, like melancholy, blah, whatever word you want to use to describe it, and not feel guilty about it, because you you know, my partner isn't like, what's wrong? What's wrong? Tell me what's wrong? I know something's wrong. I'm like, no, I'm just bla. So I appreciated that a lot, and it meant a
lot to me. And it's one of those things that I feel like should exist in a relationship where as long as we articulate it right, and you say Hey, I'm just in a blah mude. I'm just kind of cool, chilling by myself right now. Then, I think it's huge for your partner to respect that.
It's so hard though, because we're so codependent, I know. So it's when you were sitting you know, I had just gotten home from something, and you went straight got your food and went into the game room. I was just like, and you had just kind of hardy told me that you were a blah But you know, I thought, you know, I just came home from like getting a fresh new cut in color and so, you know, and then I saw you grab you're Jimmy Johnson, go sit in the game room, and I was just like, okay,
I know he said he was blah. He said it wasn't for anything, but I'm just going to check in with him again. So but you know, I wanted to sit at the game room. I wanted to sit there with you and be like, Okay, what's wrong? Tell me everything? Why are you black?
And you're just like waiting by the barn doors and waving at.
Me sha around the corner. So instead I went in and was just like, all right, babe, what are you doing? He's like you're like, I'm just watching football. I'm like, okay, well, if.
Anything comes up for you, we just know that I'm here and I love you, and yeah, that's it. And so it was just so hard for me to just leave it at that, but I did, and I've poured my glass of wine and I went in bed, and it was, I think the very first time I was ever like, you know what, I have my mood and I can't control his mood and I'm going to be happy and not let him like I don't want to be blob because he's so it was the first time
I actually noticed not being codependent. I was just like, oh, this is nice. I like to not be codependent and match his mood.
It was.
It was very because I've never seen it on the outside. I've always been I've always either matched your energy or you'll do the same thing and you'll be like, I'd be like, why are you upsecited? Like, well, you haven't been, you know, very happy this morning, So I'm like.
Why do you gotta match my energy?
You know?
It's just like but that's just what we do.
What we do, and it is I've had those moments too. I'm just maybe you're kind of in a grouchy mood or whatever, and.
I'm just like, grouchy.
Yeah, it's like a respectful way to say it's unpleasant. Yes, that too, And so times are being grouchy. And when I have those moments where I'm not being codependent, I'm just like, you know what, you know, my codependency isn't saying what did I do wrong? What is she mad at? I just know I I'm yeah, not grouchy. I didn't do anything to cause this, So, you know what, I'm just gonna let her be that way. And it's such
a relieving feeling to do that. But why can't we just be normal people and do that all the time.
I don't know, we have the exact opposite problem and our really Yeah, because actually my wife and I got into a tip the other night because I self married too much. Well, like we're hanging out and I'm like, Okay, I'm gonna fold my laundry and then I'm gonna go take the dog on a walk and then I'm gonna finish up some work.
And she's like, I don't care.
Do what you do serious?
She's like, also, I would get along great.
Yes, Wait, she says, she said she didn't care.
Yeah, She's like, she's like, Eastern drive me crazy by just like announcing everything you're saying you're gonna do, like your Superman or something like I do not care, just go do it. And I'm like, well, I don't know what if you wanted to, like if you had other plans.
I just want to make sure.
And what did she say?
She's like, I'll let you know.
That's Jana's that's Jana's dream. She wishes I did that.
But how did you guys end the tiff? Was it an actual TIF or was that like your guys' way of fighting?
And you mean, well, I mean.
We don't fight very much like I thought was the most aggressive. I just said, okay, I'll stop doing it then fine, And that in itself is an announcement of what I'm going to do. It's like I already broke my own rule.
But is Wife Swap still on TV? Because I feel like these two couples should maybe mix it match and be very happy.
To get you know what.
I would love Wife Stop to come back on because I think it's like you you want something else, but at the same time, I think you would miss can.
We do celebrity wife swap?
I don't think I think it's done. I don't know. If they have those.
Bring it back for a short it'd be kind of.
Probably dangerous because then we'd be like, oh, I like this better.
I feel like, see how he treats her, see how she did treats him. It wouldn't be good for us.
It's been twenty thirteen, so sadly not to be Yeah, but I do think an issue is that wives with children don't really have the luxury of disappearing for an hour. I think that's part of it.
Great point, Mark, what a beautiful point.
Thank you.
What do you mean wives with children? What about husbands with children?
But you guys don't take like the main priority of here we go like Mike's poops are at least thirty minutes song, And then I go in there and he's playing a game on his phone, and I was like, do you know how much I would love to sit down for a poop and have it last thirty minutes?
Look, you have a gall brider, so you just falls out.
I'm just saying true, But still like I would love to close the door for thirty minutes.
We used to joke about my dad taking forever. I'm like, why is he in there so long? And then as soon as I have kids, I'm like, well, I get it. It's when you become a dad.
I used to have my showers, like showers are my thing, but now I have to shower with Jolie. So it's like I don't even get my showers anymore.
Wow. But I think. But the thing is, it's not like I. For me, I don't just disappear if we have the kids. I'm not just I just don't like leave the room if no, if we're both kids, I never do that.
No, you're a great dad.
And it's when we're it's just Jan and I or maybe it's just Jollie and it's nighttime, so you know what, we just have a TV on for Jolie for an hour and so we can get a few things done before bedtime. So it's it's never like that. But still, I just I don't know the announcing it.
Feels like you're asking for permission. And that's one of your biggest things is you hate having to feel like you're asking for permission.
Well, it's just like when you say, uh, like hey, I'm in the office, like, hey, what are you doing? If I just say work, Jana, he drive her nuts. She's like, but no, no, no, like what are you doing?
Like what kind of works?
I'm like, I'm getting some work done? What does that mean?
Mike?
And it's like, okay, like you're saying like Jana was kind of saying that women do, or like Easton like you were doing. I'm like, Okay, I'm gonna email this person. I'm gonna email that person. I gotta ca hold this person. I gotta, you know, write this up. I gotta do this. And I'm just like, well, just why can't we just all fall under the umbrella of work, because we.
Want to make sure that you're checking off the proper process to make sure you're calling Matt the long guy because we have like ten trees dead in the backyard and you know, following up with a few other people for our work stuff. You know, just just just that goes back to the good old times.
So email us our listeners out there about any situation like this and how you and your partner handle when it comes to uh time apart? Is it? Do you con side yourself disappearing? You have to announce your plan like Easton and just to make sure it's okay or it fits their schedule or whatever it is. I would love to hear some stories around this so we can talk about that.
It is wind down at iHeartRadio dot com.
I kicked ass yesterday.
And it's so good. He did laundry, he folded, I mean put it away.
Kids, laundry I put away and it starts to finish hair appointment. I just I crushed it yesterday. Crush as a dad and husband left you in a little card like yeah, I mean just ten out of ten across the board yesterday. Yeah, okay from husband and dad duties. So literally yesterday you couldn't have I can't. It seemed that I couldn't have done anything better. That's the best I got, Honting. That's it. That's me. So now it's
all downhill. But yesterday when I did, you know, when I did just want to like watch some football for a few minutes, I was like, I have no guilt in the world right now because I owned today and there's nothing that Janna could say with any validation or legitimacy behind it that would cause me to feel guilty. Mm hm. At all. Yeah, because I did. But also because I know how Gianna works and she's constantly doing something, I have to have like that kind of day in order to not feel guilty.
No, because there's.
Been times where you'll say like, hey, I know there's something I'm just like, I'm so tired, Like I'm just sure achnowlogy. But it's the how I then reciprocate with him, because if I'm crappy about it, so I try to make sure to be like absolutely babe, because if.
Not, then he gets that.
I want him to feel comfortable, to be able to just like have a lazy day or and if I'm on him, then he won't. So I have to be like very mindful of that, which I think I've gotten a lot better with.
Yeah, you have, and I think it's we have gotten a lot better because if I didn't have the perfect day like I did yesterday, I need to articulate it because then it then you're not sitting there thinking, uh, he's just sitting around being lazy, But did he take care of the things and get frustrated? So if I articulate it to you and acknowledge that, that helps you, so that that's a good way of compromising.
I think, yeah, for sure, without having to feel like you're right, without having to feel guilty and or asking for premissure or being you know, or.
You come in and be like did you get this done yet? Why are you watching football? Why are you doing that?
No, it was it was so funny.
I came home from something the other day and he's like, the things were folded in my head. I'm like, okay, there's kids laundry in the dryer. I'm like, there's no way it's going to be done, so I won't even And I come home and it's like.
My laundry's folded, kid's laundry, and I go, jas, I'm gonna grab you really slowly, and we're gonna walk away. Somebody has broken into our house. I don't know who this man is. It's very scary.
He's a shifter.
It was so funny.
Well, uh no, I think that's a good topic for people to chime in on.
Time time Chime.
Time chimes wound up.
I am well, Bob Saggett is here.
Oh yeah, yeah, but.
He's such a good friend of us. We actually just had dinner, so I cannot wait to see him again. Lola is a female founded company offering a line of organic cotton tampons, pads liners, and all natural cleansing wipes. And what's also great about Lola is there products are one hundred percent natural and easy to feel good about, so no bs, mystery fibers, or doubts about what's going in your body. Plus, Lola products come in a simple,
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So extre shoot. I just I jumped the gun.
I was so excited, so happy to have our friend Bob Sagat back in studio.
Yay, I owe you a meal that was so good.
Last time we had the best dinner ever with you.
Yeah.
It was really relaxing and it was like, really nice.
It was nice, right.
Bob is referring to a dinner that we all went to in Nashville with h with Bob and his wife Kelly, and Kristen and Preston, and we had a little couples night.
It was really fun.
It was really sweet. Nothing happened weird. It was cool. There was no swinging. We didn't swing.
No, you did get us to go out another night. Oh no, you got us to hang out like long that night. And I was just like, we didn't get home. His car had was left at valet.
Oh my god, I thought I had to boot or something. I got scared.
No, No, I we had to go get it. The next day. I felt like I was in my twenties again, I know. I was just like, wow, this is you also popped Jana's cheerry in a sense of that was the first time she ever heard last call at a bar. Ever, she was like, what is that?
They don't say that to me. That's a problem. That's why. That's why I definitely have to I slowed down my drinking because they locked me in.
Okay.
So I was just texting with Kelly a couple of days ago. Is your house okay?
House is okay to my knowledge? Yeah, I don't know if it's got like a lot of ash all over it and a lot of smoking, you know, damage, but it's evacuated. We can't get there. So it was pretty weird. We had to evacuate the other night, and I always do after a big meal. But I didn't know. I didn't know we were gonna have this problem. And it's really sad. And about ten people lost their homes in the area, or eleven people, but our street was so
far pretty protected. So the firefighters, they're just amazing. They are truly, it's unbelievable what heroes they are. It is they're my favorite people. They they're you know, I don't know, they're the heroes, they're the superheroes.
Yeah, for sure.
Are you guys living up in the hills like that? Is it pretty common to have fire insurance?
Yeah? Yeah, I've had fire I have. I would have it anyway, because even if I lived, you know, in a condo and a high rise, you never know and somebody leaves the gas on and next thing you know, your windows got blown out, and you know, that's the end of that.
I'm sure if in a place like Southern California, if that was like an i know, like home insurance cover would probably cover that. But still I feel like that would be a way for insurance companies to get a little bit more from Southern California, right, like earthquake insurance, fire insurance or something.
Well, I don't have earthquake insurance because it's so expensive. It's so silly, because the money you're going to spend on the insurance is probably what you're going to spend on your house, and if it comes off the foundation, you got to rebuild the house anyway, and they don't give you enough money to rebuild your house. So it's kind of a sham earthquake insurance for sure. So maybe I'll make up. But maybe I'll make up my own company and that'll be successful.
You know, perfect sounds legit.
Okay, so you're on the whole Dog and Pony Show right now doing the Nashville Square.
Yes, in the middle of all this, I stole at three am, I stole two outfits to do pressing. So I was like, Kelly's like, I just need underwork. Let's get out of here. And we took two cars out and went to a hotel. But I'm getting closed for press.
I mean, well, wait, so you found a hotel, but Lebron James did not find a hotel.
Correct. I left immediately and I just called a hotel ahead of time, which I had a relationship with and not a relationship. I mean, Kelly's my relationship. But the hotel I knew the people, I didn't have a hook up with them. But well, there was one person behind the front desk.
Right we text friend, I don't want to hear.
No, Kelly's the best. Kelly's at the hotel right now. Just sending your love to you.
Guys. You're about to celebrate or just did celebrate one.
Year last night. Yeah, it's our ash anniversary because of the fire.
What'd you guys do anything special?
We had dinner. We had dinner and just chilled and it was really nice. And then you know, I'm not a gentleman, doesn't talk about romance and stuff. Let's just say it was a very reminiscent beautiful anniversary.
I love that.
Okay, Nashville Squares, we have to do it because we on the show too. You also promote the show as well, but for Bob because I couldn't. I couldn't think of a better host.
For that show.
It's so silly, right, you wouldn't think it would be me naturally until we became friends, you wouldn't know that, oh, Bobb would be good at that, right.
But it made sense though once once, once you were there, and once we were there, I'm like, there's nobody better for this, for this job, like you were. That's so funny, and it was, it was it was just cool.
Well, you couldn't count your music. In general, country artists have a certain happiness about them, Monk, except for the ones that are singing about their dog and their wife up and left them and they're drinking. But but you know, my dog died, but I write songs about that. But I've been writing country comedy songs for years, so it was kind of a serendipitous thing that they would ask me to host it, and I knew how to do it because I've hosted so much. But it's just a
free for all. It's not like I was offered original Hollywood Squares, but Tom Bergeron did that and and and I didn't want to do it because it was so scripted. But as you know from being there, this thing is not scripted at all.
And they were telling all the you know, the artists to just talk over each other, and I'm like, what, we're allowed to do that, because usually when someone talks, are not allowed to talk.
And if you want to drink the bars right there, oh yeah, half the people have been through rehabit are cleaned up or never went and they're fine. They have their sparkling water or diet coke. And then the every I disd a commercial and then the other people are just you know, Tanya Tucker's laying sideways holding Dennis Quaid's dog in the middle square and I think.
She fell asleep too, didn't she?
Yeah, she did.
She did.
I think the Dallas Cabalt too many. You guys woke everybody up. You guys were wonderful on the show.
It was fun, but it was again it was it was to you because you you drove the show and you you made it. You made it fun for us to sit there and we got to play against ech other too and also be up on the in the squares. But it was just great having you be the man that ran the show. So National Squares is out now you can watch it.
It aired. It just aired on Friday, the first episode, the first episode.
But they ran two episodes on November first. But now it's on every Friday at eight o'clock sent No at eight o'clock I know my television terminology at eight o'clock Eastern.
Uh.
And then of course you got to go seven o'clock Central and then six o'clock Mountain. Mountain. People are gonna watch this show. I have a feeling. And it runs in my house at one am every night all night long. Yeah, and it's but it's it's really fun and it's that old TGIF spot. I used to have a full house. So's it's like.
A warm blanket. You're just you love it. That's where you live.
That's home.
That's home. I can't go there. Right, What is.
It you've done all this hosting stuff. What is it when you go into something like that. What's the difference between that and obviously acting? You have everything scripted? You have kind of a script in your head when you go out to do hosting or is it just like all right, I'm gonna take whatever presents itself. Now.
Hosting something that I don't give a lot of thought too, because all the prep's been done. Acting is new every time you do it. You got to learn your dialogue and you got it, but you have to know what it's about. Like, I love acting a lot. I host because it's another facility that I have. I did this show one Versus one hundred and it was on NBC and it was on before a Deal or No Deal and Millionaires on and then they decided to take all the game shows off. They said, oh, game shows are done,
and then look at the past two years. I've already done Alec Balbyn's Match Game. I've done to Tell the Truth with Anthony Anderson because they text me personally, so I'm like, oh, no, I gotta do it, I'm screwed.
So but but like if not, they'd say, you changed.
Right, Bob is so changed. But what's great is with Nashville Squares there was no script. I mean, I just do stuff like you win this or she just said this. Now what do you say? You know? But that's the script.
That's it.
The rest is it's a free for all and it's just like hanging with friends and acting crazy and there's some games involved. You know, put your hand in this box and touch this, and you hope it's not poop, you know. But but I mean, it's just it's it's a fun, fun gig. But I'm also doing the finishing
of Fuller House, which ends this year. It's the fifth season, and we have the first nine episodes air before the end of the year, and then in the beginning of the new year or the last nine episodes, and we shoot the next the very last episode in like two weeks.
I do it. Did you think Fuller House was going to be that successful to get five seasons?
I thought it would get a little more. But Netflix is also smart about what they do, and sometimes all they need is five seasons, and sometimes ratings slip. I mean they pretend sometimes they don't have, but they do. And you know, I don't know how long you know, The Upside Down will be on? You know, Uh, what's that wonderful show called you Guys? Yeah, I don't know.
I've been watching Dead to Me and The Politician are my two favorites that are on Netflix.
I want to see that. Is the Paul Rudd show Netflix? A new one?
Yeah it is. I haven't started that yet.
He has a new show.
Yeah, and I hear it's fantastic. I hear it's unbelievable. Kelly said, you got to watch it, and it's only twenty minutes long, and apparently she thinks that's all I can last. But that's not right. But then I've got then I got the dirty video show that I did, which is scripted after dark, right, yeah, after the videos after Deck will come on. ABC's been saying in the Winter Spring, which sounds like sounds like a Game of Thrones, the Winter Spring is coming the Wildlings.
Yeah, because I know we talked about that last time, and I didn't want to bring it up last time I saw you because I didn't know what happened with it.
So I was just like, oh, yeah.
That's sweet, thank you. No, they're going to run it for sure because it's uh, you know, they love it and it's money, so they so they want to make money.
Is there anything with all the hosting stuff? Is there anything like on your bucket list? It's like, oh, I want to be able to host this one day or is it just whatever opportunity presents itself.
Well, the Oscars are always something. But I got to do some movie work and I also have to do some directing work. And there's a movie I'm directing, a documentary about Martin mull right now. But that's just something because I love him and he's a great artist and he was one of the first person people that I ever saw. They did comedy music and he did a lot of country music too. He's very very smart. He played with Glenn Campbell and he's very talented guy. And
you know him from like Sabrina and stuff. You know, gen X Millennials, you and But I'm also working on another feature thing. And as I get older and I'm in my seventies and eighties, I want to direct. Then that's so much fun. And then I want to make I want to make some really good movies. Is what I want to do, and that would be I guess I could be a seventy year old man hosting the Oscars. Absolutely, I mean otherwise, I don't really care about hosting too much.
It's just something I do, just another thing I do.
Well, you're putting it out there, and that's that's the best thing you can do is put it out there and keep working towards.
It and entertain people. And entertain people whether you get them involved in their lives like you guys do You get people involved in their lives by you getting involved in your lives and sharing yourselves with people, and then you're entertaining because you know, sometimes when you bicker, it's like the funniest thing in the world.
It's good batter People are like, it's so cringe, so cringey. I'm like, well, it's one of the other one or the other.
Well, no, it's but it's honest, and it's not like you're on the Bachelor or anything, you know. I mean, those people, it could be worse, You're right, No, it could try to make you feel better. No, I'm just saying those people they come on there and they unveil things that that's it for the rest of their life. That moment will be remembered.
And their stories are produced, so they can't even control that.
No, it's not even them, it's not even what they think, right, except for when this this this cold guy, this really nice guy, he went and screw the pooch. He told it ahead of time. He blew the couch. I don't know what he did. No, you don't want to do that. That guy that was the last Batchelor. Yeah, Wellton, Colton sorry,
and Colton Underwood. He said ahead of time that I've been seeing her and I love her and I've already been with her, and that caused a whole ruckus and then they had to put on the Batsorette all of a sudden. At the end of that episode, it was it was quite troubling.
You know, watch since you know all this information.
I watched it because they did a stink preview of videos after dark afterwards, so it.
Wasn't like required viewing caps. Bob Sagan, the real.
Truth, the man that can't go home.
You know, you have a million other places you've got to go. So thanks for stopping in to say hey to us, and well.
I love you guys, and yeah, I'm going to come back to Nashville because the show CMT is really excited about it and they think we're going to be shooting in Nashville.
So that be amazing.
That would be amazing, and you'll be on it all the time, and then we can go to dinner and we'll.
Do dinner all the time and it'll be great.
And we'll leave cars at ballet.
It'll be great.
That we love you, Bob, thanks for.
Having me, love you back, love you, love you, miss your already.
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He's the best.
I love him so much. He's so cool.
You know What's It's actually a perfect segue into what I want to talk about because with Bob, it's just his name. Just when it's said or spoken, it just registers so much nostalgia right for everybody. I feel like, from from fifty to ten. You know, he covers that like such a wide gap of generations, which is pretty impressive when you like think about it that so many people of so many ages know his name and what he's done. But you know, I was thinking of nostalgia recently,
and do you ever have those things? It could be a song, it could be a movie. This may sound really stupid, nothing stupid to a lot of people, but I felt it when I was playing my little handheld
video game thing the other night. Just do you ever have something that's so much so nostalgic, it's it's almost, I don't know, it's almost uncomfortable, or like you hear a song or watch a movie and you're just like, this reminds me almost takes me back too much to that moment where I just don't even want to like listen to it or.
Or what was what was your thing?
Well, no, no, it was this legend of Zelda linked to the past from Super Nintendo when it seems.
Like nodding as sad.
Yeah, yeah, when I was a kid, and it just every time, like this opening sequence came on and all this stuff, it just brought me back to being a kid so much that it was I just felt like the the my brain waves just kind of like the sparks flying, and that just super nostalgic feeling. It was a good feeling, but it was almost I could just feel it so much. I was like, God, this is kind of uncomfortable because it just I feel like I'm ten again. But then on the other hand, there's things
like there's this song you'd heard it if you played it. No, it's what it's like by Everlast Classic song. So that song I haven't listened to since. This friend of mine that I grew up with from the time we were in third grade through high school. He died in a car accident our senior year of high school, a month before his eighteenth birthday. And that was like our jam when we were in elementary school, Like, we just listened
to the hell out of that song. So it's one of those things that Adam foot and you know, we grew up together and even in high school we didn't run with the same crowd, but we're always good buddies. It was one of those you know what I mean, Like we always had our childhood and it's just one of those things where it's so painful, the nostalgia. I just can't have any part of it. I can't sit through it. Do you have anything like that?
I mean, well, thank you for sharing yell that was. That must be hard.
I can't imagine losing a friend that young, like just thinking back, like how because it death scares me, not to get like deep into death talk, but that death scares me in general just thinking about it, especially now that we have kids too. But I can't imagine, like I remember obviously when we lost my grandpa, but to lose a friend, I don't know. I just like, at that such a young age, how was that to deal with?
You know? It was uh, And I've been very fortunate where I haven't had a deal with much loss My grandma when I was young, but I was too young to really process. I was like fourth grade.
Yeah, when I feel like in grandparents like it's sad as it was my grandpa Dad, Like you know they're older, right right right.
I haven't had many sudden deaths, only really my friend and my aunt a few years back. But uh, it was it was really difficult. It was hard to comprehend. It's hard to understand. It's one of the things.
You know.
It's interesting at his at his funeral, there's this other friend of ours, Eric, that it was like the three of us in elementary school, Like we just rode our bikes together, like we did everything together, and same kind of deal. Eric was like in a different crowd. Still
hung with Adham a lot more in high school. But it's like when Eric and I saw each other at the funeral, like we had this hug and this embrace of that was just like unmatched because of just like everything behind it and growing up together, and I don't know, it was hard, man, It's just one of those things, you know. And he was an only child, so I have so much empathy for his parents and and everything. But you know, I know there's a lot of people out there that have had to suffer way more loss.
You can't measure someone's pain, No, you can't.
You can't. It's all about what you're exposed to and everything. But no, yeah, it sucked well.
And that song came on and you had to turn it.
Yeah, anytime I hear that song, have to turn it off ever since, ever since then, ever since I was eighteen years old. You know. It's funny. My mom had a similar thing where the house I grew up in. I lived in the same house from the time I was four until I was sixteen seventeen, and so it's the house I grew up in, and it's near it's in a different neighborhood, but near the one that my
parents live in now. And my mom same thing. She was kind of like driving by, She's outside looking at it, and I think the people that lived there had just gotten home, and she was like, I'm so sorry. I don't mean to be creepy. I just, you know, raised my kids in this house and we're just you know, I was just you guys did a lot of changes. So I was just looking at it, and they're like, oh, you want to come on in, And they let my mom in and they let her take pictures and she
was saying the dream. Yeah. She sent it pictures to me and my dad and my brother and my sister. My brother doesn't remember it, but my sister and I were like, that's so crazy, it's so weird, that's nuts.
I my aunt Susan and uncle Roy live across the street from the house that I grew up in from three to whenever my parents got divorced after that since seventeen, and I want to go in so bad, but no one lives there anymore.
No one at all.
Well, apparently it ended up being like I think they were doing like meth or something in the house. But my brother and I talked about because it went on the market, and so I wanted to buy it because it's you know, or deal. Yeah, you know, but I think someone bought it and then they just run it out. But gosh, I I.
Would love to.
I don't know it's just I would love to go in the house because we had this little gremlin room that it was called the Gremlin Room and it was but in the gremlin room as we had you know into the wood where you see how tall you were, So we did that in my closet. So I just would love to see if that was that's still there. Yeah, and like bring Joel there.
I was like crazy, crazy, interesting.
And we try to be like objective about these things, like it's just a house, it's just four walls. It's just.
That Miranda Lambert song, the house that built me. There's something about going back to that house that it's that built you. And the memory is from you know, maybe your parents fighting. I mean for me, I mean some
of the my nostalgias, unfortunately, are all pretty negative. And that's what kind of bums me out when I think about certain things and it's you know, for my house, it's like my parents fighting or arguing or there's I hate I hate that, but it's there's still something that that house built you.
Yeah, and the bad it's I can't remember what I did two days ago, but I can remember twenty years ago. And you know what I mean when I was playing catch with my dad in the front yard on our street. And our street we're like flat, but then it gradually goes downhill. I overthrew my dad and he had to go running down after ball. He's kind of pissed, but then he chucked the ball from I don't know, felt like a football field away, like a pop fire. I
go up to catch it. It's off the tip of my glove and hits me right in the right eye, and I had this huge shiner and I go in. I mean it was old fashioned, like I put a steak on it, like straight up, had a sand lot like it was. It was unreal.
Yeah, there's a smell that I don't I cannot and have not been able to place. But it was the same smell that I smelled in the Romanian hospital when I was sick I had surgery. So every time I smell that now it brings me. I get like a pit in my stomach thinking about that experience. Terrifying, I know, but I'm like, I can't figure it's some kind of cleaning solution. If I walk into any other bathroom or I can smell it and I'm like Romania.
They say the smells are the most effective at bringing it back to a memory.
Oh yeah, that makes total sense.
Yeah for sure, because it's.
Just wolf crazy. Well, way to walk down memory lane, guys.
Also, with the emails, I want to hear some of those two take emails.
We have some really nice ones this week. Do it. This is from Sarah, she said. First of all, let me just give you Danielle's she saw on your Instagram story, the Jolie and Jace cupps that you reposted from someone else.
Oh, yes, you can get them at Dollar General.
There you go. Where do you get them?
I'd love to purchase them. And I love your show and I hope you get the People's Choice Award. You guys deserve it. Sorry, Beca and Tanya, I love you guys too, Love you too.
Back on Antonia. That's very sweet, Thank you.
Sarah says. My husband Brian and I are both thirty one. We've been married for five years and we've had her ups and downs. Until last May, I was really happy in my marriage till my husband expressed to me in a counseling session that he was unfaithful five times within the first year of our marriage. While I was pregnant with our first child. He also admitted he was he had attempted to act out while we were pregnant with our second baby in the periods in between, compensated with
pornography and almost ninety thousand dollars in online shopping. This summar, he filed for bankruptcy and we filed for separation. He then left for an inpatient treatment center for sex addiction. He comes home November ninth, after completing seventy five days. By all accounts, he's doing well, he's progressing, he's giving it as all. But I am so scared to come home and to find out what that new normal will look like, and I'm so scared of being hurt again.
I just wanted to say I appreciate your courage. It is a daily kind of courage to share openly all the things we didn't choose for everyone to find out either. My husband was our church worship leader. If you're ever near Asheville, North Carolina, let's grab dinner. Otherwise, keep doing y'all, praying for your family, your marriage, and continued to recovery.
I mean would love to sit down with you guys. Yeah, love, Thank you for your email that's beyond sweet Sarah, thank you, But I will say it's pretty amazing he did tell you.
That's very Yeah, that's something to when you're having a hard time hanging on to hope and having those fears. The fact that he got to the point where he had just couldn't live with that double life anymore and he told you without you discovering, I mean, that's that goes a long way.
Is that a sign that he doesn't want to be that guy anymore?
For sure? For sure, that's it's a sign of it's taking contrary action, which is why you know all the stuff that Jane and I were dealing with, you know, with me deleting and not telling. It's all about taking contrary action, doing something that you wouldn't have done in the past. So that's something that's we know. It's tough, and it is, as Sarah said, is a daily battle.
You have your ups and downs, but hang your head on that at least, and all you can do is, like Jana says, she trusts me today until I give her a.
Reason not to well, and he needs to be like showing up and stuff too. Because the hardest, the hardest recovery we've had was when he was gone in treatment. It was the two years he got home from treatment. That's been the hardest adjustment and it just takes time. And it's but again, if two people are willing to work, I know I say that all the time, but if you know, you just got to keep fighting it out. But we will also be praying for y'all's marriage. And thank you for sharing your story.
Yeah, thank you.
And well, so she's she's it's okay, she's scared, but it's okay to be optimistic.
To absolutely, but it's both are totally fine and normal. Yeah, I'm still scared. You know, he's still scared. You know, you're right. Yeah, it's just those Yeah.
But it's been great listening to you on this podcast honestly today specifically, like you guys just see seem you're in good moods, you're happy, you're interacting in a sweet way, and you see it just seems like a very solid relationship today. The way you're talking to each other about each other's feelings and respecting each other's thoughts. I think this is I'm very encouraged by today's podcast.
Thanks Mark, thank you. I think we're good, right, now we agree?
Right now?
Hi, ive been yes especially coming off a perfect day yesterday, a no hitter, a perfect game, whatever you're gonna call it. I had one of those yesterday.
A little goes a long way. That's right, right?
We have any more emails?
Yeah, Sabrina. I was involved in a four year relationship that ended when I discovered my now ex boyfriend was cheating on me by soliciting sex from other women on Craigslist. It's been five years since then. I've moved on. My ex is now married to someone else. I'm with a guy who's honest, caring, and sweet. He's given me no reason to worry about him being on faithful. I think
you can see where this is going. I've been with him for a little over a year, but it's extremely hard for me to shake those feelings that I'm not good enough and that history will repeat itself With my new boyfriend. It has started so many unnecessary arguments because he does not understand how easily triggered I am. How do you shake those thoughts in the back of your mind?
How do you explain to someone who has never been through huge earth shattering infidelity that what you need is time and reassurance.
That's hard because the other person probably is like, I didn't do that, though, so stop putting me in that person's position, right, But at the same time, I think that person needs to be gentle and have empathy for the person that you know is having trouble with it. But at the same time, it's how Sabrina you're delivering it to him because you have to come from a vulnerable place to be like, Hey, I'm so sorry, I'm getting triggered. I know it has nothing to do with you,
it's just my past. Because if you're communicating from a vulnerable place, he's going to be able to be more. He's going to lean into empathy and not be on the attack or the defense of Well that's not me though, because if you're leaning in vulnerable, he'll lean in with empathy, is my opinion.
Yeah, I mean that's very well said, Honey. I think that was really well said.
Thanks Mark.
Yeah, I don't really know what to say after that, because it was pretty spot on.
Give it to us again.
Lean in with vulnerability and well, no, you know, be vulnerable and then hopefully then your partner will lean in with empathy. So you guys both need to lean into each other, but just one with vulnerability and one with empathy.
Yeah, it's all about validating that this has nothing to do with him, that you do not accuse him of anything. Because if you start if Sabrina started saying, well where were you? Or let me see your phone? If I was in new relationship, I'd yeah.
But I could also see how like in her situation, the same we didn't work out, I would be like, man, this is I don't trust anybody for sure.
I was just I was going to say that when Marcus Rena, I was like, could you imagine if you it'd.
Be really tough, right and I would need I would, but I would be very I was thinking, I'm like, okay, what would I say to a new guy. I would say, look, I've this is what I've been through, and I'm going to I of course I know you, that's not you, but I'm scared.
So you know, just if you be vulnerable, Yeah.
Like Jana said, be vulnerable. Guys want to be your night and shining armor. So if you lead with that vulnerability, like especially with her saying how caring and honest and sweet he's been. I optimistic that he'll lean into that challenge and be that you know night and shining armor and be like I got you, like there's nothing to worry about, and reassure you in any way that you need.
And at the end of the day too, he might who knows anybody has the capability of doing it, And that just means that, Okay, it wasn't the right one and if that's not what you want, and then move on. Just because people get their heartbroken. I think that's what bothers me that I want to get my heart broken again. Well then you're gonna be lonely forever. Then because you're gonna get your heartbroken, you're gonna get your heart broken ten more times probably, but.
Also maybe not.
Maybe not.
Great emails, that great show.
Yeah then okay, next up is people's choice towards. So I'm just excited to go. It'll be a good time.
This a great time.
Yeah, I'm pumped to have a date night with you. Yeah, all right, good.
Luck you guys. When the I heard a word last.
Year, no chance, but it's fine.
Come on now, you don't know, it's fine.
So I just you know, do something to go viral. And no matter who they announced, I just go up to accept the award.
Well, yeah, see, you guys are doing well, like going viral the past month or so, so good job on.
That you've been going.
It's off for the votes, right, I told yeah, all it with.
This Kanye thing. I told Jane, I was like, you got it like a devil's triangle between me, Kanye and Olivia Copo. They're probably both like, who is this guy.
Saying his name is Michael.
I'm on their radar. You are now public enemy number one.
All right, guys, daily challenge lean in.
You're so inspiring