Ep. 24 A Visit from The Nanny

How you start your first five minutes of your day really sets the whole groundwork for the entire day. It sets the whole tone. If you start off going this Monday awful, what's going to happen? You're going to get out of bed, get in the shower, get on your spin bike, whatever you're doing. Whatever you're doing you're spinning, think, well, that's what I did. So I posted something this morning.

It was Sometimes we forget how magical it is just to wake up in the morning, take a breath, wiggle your toes and open your droopy eyes and take a moment to feel some gratitude that you're alive and that you get to live this amazing day. Also, you are exchanging a day of your life for whatever you do today, So it's important to really set the tone and be positive. But no matter what's going on, wouldn't that be great if you could actually be regimented in that kind of mindset?

You have to train. You have to train yourself. Well, Mike and I woke up and thought, this morning that was fun Well, that is not a good way to start the tone. What did you guys fight about? Well, let me just say it's really funny because what we thought about. He just asked me coming in the exact same thing, and I go, and I go in my head, I'm like, oh, I'm gonna save that for the podcast because I said, this morning, are you okay? And it turned into a complete s show. You're welcome Easton for

not having to blue that. But then when we walked down the stairs going to record this podcast, goes what's wrong? And I was like, nothing, honey, But I was like, we just got into a huge fight because you got mad at me for asking you what's wrong? But yet I just so here. I always said we were last week we were gonna talk about therapy. You have a therapy moment right now. Details. So what did you just see?

How you how hypocritical you just were? Trust me. As soon as I said, I was like, let me just take it back. But see how easy it is to when you see something. So this morning when I saw him, he had woken up earlier. Uh he woke up about an hour earlier than me. And you know, Jolie was she's in this mood where she just wants her the first thing she wants in the morning is to wear a dress. And it's just if you you don't put a dress on her, then it's a complete just it's

it's a nightmare. She screams, it's it's very frustrating. So but you know, we had to get her ready for school as it was a little chillier this morning, and we don't wouldn't want to put her in a dress, So a little bit of a thing there, but we we kind of were like passing and I just said, hey, are you okay, and he was like yeah, I'm just walking into the bathroom and I was like, oh okay, Like um sorry, Like I didn't meet I just was

asking if you were okay, Like I'm sorry. It just came from nowhere where I was just like kind of walking by a straight face walking to bath and get something. It's like, oh, you okay. I'm like yeah, I'm I'm fine. I'm just going through the morning. And then it was that was one thing. The second thing was we were all going to drop Jolie off together and then she was going to go somewhere before we came here, and Julie and I started walking out the door and I

like halfway closed the front door. She's like, oh, are you gonna wait for us? I don't know. I just said I said, hey, are you going to wait for me? Because I still had to go in the kitchen. But he just was so already mad that I asked the question before that he kind of already shut me off. And then I go, you know what, bab, why don't you just take Jolia to school? And he's like, no, come on, let's go. He's like I'm like no, I can tell you're frustrated. And now he's I'm fine, I'm fine.

I'm like you were hid and I was like I'm fine. I was like I can't go outside with Joliana. But that right there, that tone is what gets me, like, an't if I ask you if you're okay, okay, but well, I don't know. You just seem like you were like, but why why can't you just be like, of course and then that be it? But why do you have

to ask? Why does it matter? I love everything about this, but it's so fascinating because this is like so many people can relate to this, And what I've learned is it's perspective you can I had a thing recently where three people told me the same story. They were all together and witnessed the same event, and they each told it to me differently, And I think that's what's happening. Mike perceived what Janna was asking in a completely different

way than you intended it. You misinterpreted the tone, But I said, but I just don't understand why he couldn't have just been like, yeah, I want to know, why are you okay? Triggered you well, and so he comes so so okay, So then time out, So then he leaves because are you because I'm like when he when he responds in that way, I'm just like, clearly you're not okay, and I can't get to wherever you're at right now. And Jolie's sitting like standing there. I'm like,

please just take her to school, Please take her to school. So, you know, he leaves, takes her to school, and he comes back and I'm waiting for my uber and you know, he comes in and he says, Michael, I say that I can embraced hers and give me a hug. I said, I'm sorry that, you know, if my reaction could be pre sensitive at times, it's just my kind of your saying my interpretation like how that makes me feel when

it's kind of we're just getting our days started. I'm still trying to wake up, and I'm just kind of walking through the bedroom. And after you know, fifteen minutes of us being up together, I here are you okay? I'm like, God, the day just started, Like yeah, I'm fine? Like why am I being questioned so triggered by are you okay? Did you guys used to have that be my whole thing? Like what I told her is my whole issues with not feeling good enough are so ingrained

in me that if I here, are you okay? That triggers me to think, am I not acting like I'm supposed to be acting? Am I not doing what you need to me to be doing? And so I'm like, should I be doing something else? And then I'm all of a sudden not confident in what I'm doing in that moment. Again, it goes in, it goes in phases. I'm not like that every single day seven It's just

some certain times are more sensitive than others. I don't know why, it's just I am So then, what's the difference between you asking me when you see my face when we're walking down here, when you ask me if I'm okay? How how is could you say? How contradicted struggling we're walking? No? I wasn't at that point. So interesting, Like I know that it's like you guys are like dealing with it emotionally, but for an outsider, it's so fascinating to see the way people interact men and women.

And then here's my question for you guys. After the hug and he said, I'm sorry, are you able to let it go and move forward? Because my problem is I will hold onto it for a day and a half and I cannot let it go. So that's how we used to. We used to not We used to not be able to rebound as quick. Now we're able to rebound faster but it's still inside of me right now. Like I walked in being like, why is it okay? If I just ask you a simple question? Why do you get so why do you have to go straight

to your I'm not good enough, I'm not this. I just asked a freaking question and wondering if my husband's okay? Why why does it have to be? Like why do you have to go into year? What gave you the inclination to ask me if I was okay this morning? You just seemed annoyed. You seemed quiet and annoyed, and you know, maybe it was Jolie, maybe it was you were in your head. I don't know, But why is it? Why is it wrong of your wife to ask you if you're okay or not. I'm not saying it's wrong.

I never said it was wrong. And you went straight into your stuff and then took it out. Is it not a man woman thing? Because if Jannah asked me, I would be like, you're so sweet for caring and being so like intuitive into seeing my body language. And men hate that s they don't want women diggy. So I was married to someone for a really long time who was the worst morning person on the planet, and I'm a morning person. I wake up happy. I'm so excited a SpongeBob, and so is Rocko. He hops off,

good morning. So I would walk around the house and I would be walking on eggshells because the energy was so dark and so frustrated and so angry. And I learned I would say, hey, everything okay, everything sucks. The world's dark, you know, like he was just so angry and so frustrated in the morning. And it's really hard. Now I'm with somebody who doesn't mind if I ask are you okay? And it's a totally different experience, it really is. I think are you okay is just one

step from we need to talk? It is you're right. It's like, oh now I have to open up. Great, now we're you know, I have to pull out my emotions. So I'm just wondering if you were in your head and the energy that Janna was getting was kind of like closed up, and that's probably why are you? Like are you okay? And maybe the tone was just you know, it was a completely just misinterpreted that's it. Yeah, I think it's just it was just a miss in general.

I see. I just I think there are times when you when when he is just fine and I do just ask a simple and you know, and I'm missing the situation. But I just feel like today there was something that you weren't that you were frustrated, that you weren't just okay and walking into the bathroom. Because the response that you gave back to me was so like just so like like just so annoyed at me that I was like, there, this didn't just come out of nowhere.

But I understand that, and I'm sorry that that your first reaction is to feel like you're not good enough, because I don't want you to feel like you're not good enough. I think it was, Yeah, it was Joey was being a pain this morning. I was just kind of waking up from the day. So your wife asking you a question on top of it, It's like, I just want to process this myself and get through it and I'll be okay and you know, and I'll have my emotions and I'll be fine. You want to take, yeah,

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Thank you so much, thank you, happy to be here. So um, Sorry, my husband, I kind of got into an argument it this morning was so big my opinion. I think I think we've I think we've cleared it for now. We're going to table it at the moment because we really are just so excited that you're in studio with us today. Thank you so much for taking the time to be here. And we were talking about how we start our mornings, and I loved you were talking to producer Amy Amy earlier about how you start

your mornings, and I start mine terribly. I look straight at Instagram, which is the worst possible thing to do, because I immediately just like my life socks. These people's are better like. And then but you you start your morning feeding chickens. No, not well, no, I said, the animals. Okay, that's my tropical fish. My dog and I have some wild birds so that live on you know, on the house and on the property. So yeah, that's my great pleasure. When I first get up, I put on my champ music.

I don't need to wear clothes. I just like to kind of beat chill and naked and walk around. Do you walk around butt naked? That's amazing? I love that stick. You know, once I get home, if I'm by myself, and even where I live, don't you get cold? Well, if I'm called, then I put on Okay, having a huge assortment of robes. So yeah, it's just so this is so like nostalgic for us. I feel like because I grew up watching The Nanny, it was one of

my favorite shows. Why have they not rebooted that show yet? No? Actually, and mean it was like it was a huge success something, but it isn't a reboot, but um, you know, you never know, something may happen. It seems like something that the fans would like, and uh, they certainly know where

to find me. But you know, recently I've been thinking more about it, and I think that if I come up with the right hook, yeah, I feel like that's a That's the theme nowadays is kind of bringing back older shows and kind of bringing the Murphy Browns that those those worked, So it's like why not you know in cable, I feel like needs that. Well for me, it would have to be really like you need Cardi b is what you said, Well, that would make it

for me. I can all come together and make sense and be fresh and everything like that, and she would be the nanny. I'd be some mom I SYLVI are in this version, Um, and get some sexy Latino to play my husband warning the perfect and then get like some Obama type to be Mr Sheffield. Fine, I love it, like a totally fresh version. But um, but you know, if it doesn't make my hearts sing, then you know I'm I'm always writing, I'm always producing, I'm always doing things.

And my organization, Cancers MANCA, keeps me very busy to do and that really makes my hearts sing. You know, I feel like I got famous. I got cancer and I live to talk about it. And I'm talking and I think that we have cancers. MANCA movement is really making a debt, like we're really changing the way people think. And this year at our Health Summit at Dorothy Chandler Pavilion on October, the theme is how you live equals how you feel, So we really want to connect those

thoughts for people to really start. If you don't feel great, you gotta look at how you're living. It's always because of that, so very rarely is it because of anything else. Environmental what you you know, And we have a very progressive program called Detox your Home because the home is the most toxic place we spend the most time and and ironically have the most control over. So start there with the in on and around your challenge. What are you eating all of your personal carer items? What are

you cleaning gardening with? Just kind of start with that, and you would be amazed if you just decided I'm not going to do industrial farm foods anymore because that's just full of agri chemicals that are not serving anyone well but the aggri chemical companies. And you know, can you start with stuff like that? And then you gotta look at what's your toothpaste? Does it say do not swallow or quote poison control? It's like do not use that?

Never looked at started So her said, like, you know, she's we have a three year old almost three year old daughter, and I was reading it says do not swallow, and I was like, maybe we should we need to get her like better toothpaste because she swallows it. Tooth bays should be like food. Man, if you kind of put stuff in your mouth that's toxic. The food. The mouth is the gateway to everything. People don't even realize. I mean, you can't get you know, like root canals.

That's not good. You get extractions. You have to be so careful you're with the right person because if you get cavitation in the drawline from a back moler, you know you're asking for breast cancer. There's so many things when you if you have skin problems, you know you'll go to a germatologist and they're trying to give you stuff to suppress the symptom that's showing up in your skin, when really nobody is looking at hormones or or liver.

Skin is liver, brain is gut. If you have brain fog any, you know, dementia, Parkinson's, schizophrenia, depression, anxiety, look at your freaking gut. The gut is and you know, it's a lot of fun. It's fun. It's fun. The universe is constantly presenting us with opportunities to, uh, you know, journey on this journey of self refinement. That's the only reason why we're here is so that our souls can become more refined. And get more woke. How you've been

battling cancer for two years? Uh no, I am eighteen years. Well it took my two years and eight doctors to get a proper diagnosis. So that's is that my phone? Nok ah? Where it is? Ladies and gentlemen, do you I do people just come up to you and ask you to laugh? Yes, they do. I call that my seal act. Is it just kind of like and you know, I mean it's uh, you know, my voice is very distinctive and thank god I found the way to monetize it.

Let me tell you that. But my mom was once being interviewed and they said, did she have a funny voice when she was a kid, And in a very similar voice, she said, we never knew she had a funny voice. I'm not as unique in Queens, but it still is unusual even in Flushing. Was it hard though, too? Did you feel like typecasted because of it? After the Nanny? You know? I mean I was. I wasn't mad at the typecasting at the time because I felt like I was in a groove with uh, like when I first

started the shows that were on TV. Was welcome back cod happy days, laverneon Shirley and then my first movie was Saturday Night Fever, so I kind of slipped right in and then you know, I, you know, being funny, pretty young with a funny voice, you know, that was my sweet spot and I you know, it was. It's good to be specific in this business. You know, not everyone can be Meryl Street and the rest of everybody who's non specific. You know, I think I have a

heart of time. You can be the greatest actor in the world and basically go unnoticed. But if you're you know, if you have stark quality, then maybe you'll be noticed. And maybe not. Everybody wants to be a celebrity. You know a lot of actors are really shy and they just want to be serious actors. But you know, I

don't I don't know if problem being a celebrity. I like, you know, leveraging my celebrity for the greater good, which it looks like you've done with all your cancer sponsor and you know, outspoken you are about things that you've been through, something that Janna and I talked about a lot on here were big advocates for therapy, personal therapy, A couple of therapy. I love it. What is it? How has that like helped you kind of overcome things in your life? For just do you still see a

therapist to this day? I kind of tell listeners about that. I'm on, I'm on a little break right now. But uh, but you know I went for like twelve years pycho therapy. And when I started, when Peter and I were splitting, I was like such a wreck. I went five days a week. It is well I couldn't, you know, I you know, I needed it and uh and and so much I had to look at because I was one of those people that didn't really let myself feel my feelings right and uh, you know, I've none my feelings

with pot or I just would very e them. And I was even a victim of a violent crime. I was ready to come point. I didn't really deal with my pain. I just said, you know, I can handle this march on person here. And then like ten years later, when I was famous on the Nannie and Alta, that kind of uh magazine TV shows kind of exploited that, and um, even though I had written about it, my uh you know, they put it on like it had just happened. And my mom was getting calls my parents

from neighbors. What happened to Brandon? It was like this happened a while ago, but for me, I re experienced it, and because I was in therapy, you know, I had like, um, you know, a PTS, and suddenly it was like, oh my god, this happened to me and I was I remember lying on the couch and weeping, you know, over and over again, until you know, I could sort it all out and really connect with how painful that all was. And I think that that was a contributor to my cancer.

It's almost poetic that I should have been denial of being raped and then end up with uterine cancer. Well they always say disease cause this disease. I always say that too, So it's ease. And you know, every trooper says, you know the issues are in the tissues. Yes, So if you're not gonna do with you're paying man, it's gonna show up somewhere, and it's to manifest somewhere. We talked to daughter on here and she said a lot of the same things. Well, she's she's done the um.

She's actually led meditations from my health summit. So cool. How did experiencing a disease like cancer changed the way you live your everyday life, oh, you know, exponentially. And mean, over the course of the eighteen years that I've been well, you know, and building this movement, I've really kind of tackled and looked at everything differently because you know, the twentieth century it has not really served us well. It was the modern age and the convenient age, and nobody

really channlenged your question. But is this thing healthy or safe for good for me and my family? And I think now in the twenty century, as we see an escalation in all kinds of diseases or to immune inflammation, uh, cancers, young, old, everybody, everything's getting mixed up. Um, we have to start looking at you know what we're exposing ourselves too. And frankly, everything old is new again. I say, keep it, you know,

clean and simple, and keep manufacturers honest. You or purchasing power is your power and uh, you know what you buy in for that matter. What you don't buy is your vote and your protests. And you know, I mean, if we all stopped drinking, call it tonight, it's I'm making it tomorrow that fast. We don't need to know who's in the White House. We don't need to care who's in Congress. They're all middle management, beholden to big business and the ruling class elite that's so high up

where the aerosode. Then they don't care about anything but weapons and slaves. Do you drink a red wine? Um? I don't drink as any anywhere near as much anymore because I am constantly managing inflammation due to the uh kind of elective removal of my appendix by my surgeon for my cancer surgery. So here's a little insight tip. Listeners. When you have to go to the hospital and get surgery and you sign that thing, yes, do whatever you think needs to be done, make sure you add to

it only that directly relates to what you're doing. Because I remember in the recovery, I said, God, the right side r it's worse than the left, and the doctor it's surgeon very matter of fact. They said, oh, that's probably because we took out your appendix, and I said why, and she said, well, once we open up your abdomen, you're at risk of getting infected, so we'd rather just take it out now than have to go in again.

And and you don't need it anyway. Well, fast forward eighteen years and enter my world with doctors that went to medical school, drank the kool aid, started practicing, began to get woke, realized that there's a better way, and now are reinventing the wheel of health rather than sickness. Um, the appendix is the brains of the lymphatic system. Well, they took out the brains from my lymphatic system. Mind to mind too, I'm so stressed. Wow, do you have inflammation?

I just thought it was bloated. Now now you know, Brobot, I bet you a million things I connetlist that you're experiencing. Do you get sinus? Yeah, I'm I'm struggling with watery eyes and sinuses today. Wow. See that's I mean, look, that's well, it's because you don't have an appendix. So you're gonna have to double down on detoxing your life because unless you do that, your body is gonna start getting more and more congested because your lymphatic system isn't

working at an optimum. Now there are ways you can support it. Dry brushing always up towards the heart down and depending on what okay end of the heart you're brushing dry brushing is very I'm sorry, what is dry brushing? Uh? You know it's like a natural kind of hard dry brush and it's made out of and you brush your skin. Yes,

I just thought what was that was? Was it a real was in a real movie or no, it was it was that was like a Hollywood movie, but they were they were brushing this what I can't skin really soft. But it actually does stimulate your lymph nodes and that you're you know, the lymphatic system is you know what is your helps detoxibody. The massages, then the limp lymphatic massages, you know, definitely that wouldn't hurt. I actually, for years before I connected these thoughts, used to feel sick after

that because it was actually releasing taxins. So when I'd be on vacation, I said, oh, I have a lymphatic massage, and then I'd like start to feel like Louis or something. And it's because it was releasing this stuff. So I don't really do that that much. I do other things to help detox and but it is a good thing. I do reflux oology to stimulate. Are you cancer free now? Yeah? Thank god? Eighteen years? Yeah, So you know, I was

still on stage one. You know, I'm wearing a busy line, so it may sound like a speech and paname, I'm sorry, listeners, my teeth are getting so pretty. Are you still? Are you still? Like, where's your heart right now? With love? Right now? I'm not in love. I'm in love with myself. And say it's a first really, I mean like big time. I'm so happy by myself with my self and I was subsequent to the therapy, so we started briefly talking about the therapy. I went through every member of my family.

I went in because my marriage was breaking up and I thought he was the problem. But then you know, I started going at everybody that I you know, in my nuclear family and peeling away all those onion skins and getting in touch with my own pain and everything like that. Then with my second marriage, when after I thought that I had figured everything out, this dude pushed

so many buttons. I'm so grateful for the relationship because you know, I learned so much about myself because of him, And so I ended up going to this shaman that became like my therapist as well as kind of a holistic helper to the way I go about living my life, and uh, I found him to be very helpful. And he said, you know when you feel that feeling like you now you're they're scraping a fork in my insides because I'm in so much pain that this guy and

I are fighting. He said, that's because you are filling yourself from the outside in, your filling that with people and stuff, and you know that will only satisfy you for so long. Then eventually people are going to disappoint you because they have their own stuff and stop is you know, never gonna do the trick at all, not even come close to people, But eventually you're gonna have to face the fact that you are responsible for filling you. And I said, okay, well, look I have heard that

my whole life. But how what what do I have to do? How can I turn this into self love? And he said, are you listening every time you get that feeling, that angst, loneliness, the oh what did I do wrong? Oh why can't he love me? Why aren't I in love? Why? It is as in somebody, all of that stuff. Every single time you don't get a job,

you feel like it's the end of the world. All of that stuff you must discipline yourself to say and every time you may have to do it forty times a day in the beginning, I love you, Fran, I know how special you are. It's Fran and Fran till the end of time. Well, if I tell you just the first time I said it, it eased me, And every time I said it after that, I got closer and closer to understanding. Oh my god, this is my journey.

It's not even about anybody else. Everybody that comes into it is just my opportunity on my journey of self refinement so I can become a better human being. That's it. It's like the healthy way of self soothing as opposed to looking for outside validation. Did you ever consider kids to be like? Is that something you ever strived for? For maybe that happiness or for that love? You know? No, I actually was that everybody's caregiver. Um, I really was

odeed on that. I didn't even have insight to why I was surrounded by so many basket cases and I felt like I had to take care of I mean, it was totally self imposed. It's amazing how I needed to be needed. So I surrounded myself what needed people. And then when I started to realize this, you know. But but through all those years which would have been my the they likely years that I would have had a baby, Um, I thought, I cannot have one more person need me, and if anybody needs you, it's a kid,

like exactly. I mean. So actually now I think I would be the best parents I ever could have been. And even now, I you know, I mean, I I think, um, you know, i'd probably maybe walk away from the business because I don't really have to work, and maybe I just kind of, you know, enjoy a village life with a kid and you know, teach them how to um be truly connected to nature and love themselves. And if you got those two things going for you, you know,

your your your it's money. How can our listeners help with your charity? Thank you for asking. UM. Please go to CANCERUS minsit dot org slash summit and get tickets for my Masterclass Health Summit. Be prepared to blow your mind. It will be a game changer. You will walk away uh and you'll you'll know what to do and you won't feel helpless and you'll just be transformed forever. So

that's one thing. Join It's free and you'll get all kinds of information from us, and if you can't come and support us, which ideally would be amazing, and then you could get face to face with the doctors and me um, it's going to be uh live stream online. So but again it all goes back to go to Cancer Spans at dot org and familiarize yourself with some of our programs. We have a bee that changed me and Jamie Fox did an education video uh, and it's

targeting teens. They're the first generation particted to not live as long as their parents in US history, and we don't want to make that a self fulfilling prophecy. But you know, they don't vote, they don't pay taxes, therefore

they don't wield a lot of power in Washington. We are empowering them because there are multi billion dollar demographic and frankly, they're not terribly discerning to advertising b s. So we're trying to wake them up to that because you know, nobody in big business really cares about them and the stuff that they are being convinced to buy because it's cool or it's gonna make them popular, it's gonna make them pretty, is actually gonna make them die

young and it's not serving them well. Well, on that note, brand Dresser, we really appreciate it. Thank you so much. Thank you, guys, thank you so much. So I have a question for you. Do you guys ever feel like we are more divided than ever? All Right, if you're tired of hearing about all the things that separate us, you have to check out Spit. It's a new podcast from our Heart Radio with twenty three and me where they explore all things DNA and how we are all

genetically alike. So the host sits down with some of the biggest artists, including John Legend, Melissa Etheridge, Pete Wentz to talk about how the world of genetic testing is changing who we are and the world's around us. So, you guys, make sure you know I love that you guys listen to this podcast. But I also encourage you guys to check out full episodes of Spit now on the I Heart Radio app or wherever you listen to podcasts.

So I got my Thrive box in the mail the other day, um from Thrive Market, and I gotta tell you, guys, it's so nice. You know, right now it's getting a little harder to move around because I got a baby on the way, but Thrive Market makes it really, really really easy for me. It's a revolutionary online marketplace on a mission to make healthy living easy and affordable. So you can shop for thousands of the best selling non GMO foods and natural products at to fifty percent below

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I've always loved Amazon. Well, Thrive Market offers more. Get off your first order plus plus three thirty day trial at thrive market dot com slash Janna. That's thrive market dot com slash Janna for off your first order and a free thirty day trial, no promo code, just thrive market dot com slash Jamna. So how about the legend freend dresser as you so well, I mean, we grew I grew up with watching I know. That's what I'm saying.

That was a good perfect even you said, You're like, how how crazy was I never thought that we'd be interviewing friend dresser. I mean, I just love it. I love her voice, I love her laugh. I loved being next to her. I have a weird voice. I can resonate with her. You don't have a weird voice. It's just different some five year old. You don't sound like a five year old. I was. My whole plan was to be a CNN inchor growing up. I didn't didn't

work out. It was incredible. Someone's phone started ringing and I wrote down, like, oh, I better take this out, and then she started that laugh, and I'm like, hope this is saying it. I will say I. You know, I have so much anxiety around everything. I mean when it comes to the cancer stuff, because I feel as if I'm I know what we put on our our desk or what we wash with them. The Meyer stuff is good, right, that's or definitely ganic. We have to

stop using dryer sheets. But I can't everything, and I can't stop. I was gonna ask Fran and I was gonna bring up you know, our conversation with some of some of the hairs that we had a few weeks again stuff where yeah, like, at what point I understand their cancer survivors, So of course they're going to be all in, hyper nuts, hyper sensitive in a negative way, but very proactive in their life and what they put

on their bodies and their bodies and so on. But for those that unfortunately do not have to suffer from that, like, I still believe in everything's okay in moderation, you know what I mean? But is it though with all the

stuff they're not putting in things? I mean, look at our grandparents are Our grandparents didn't have all the pesticides on things, all the things they're pumping in the chickens, all the things, you know, all the they probably didn't have as much and whatever they used for Did they even have deodor? I don't even know back then, but they did and it was air assault. It was even worse, I do know. And I only know this from experience my stepfather when I he passed away when I was

twenty one, he was fifty years old. He was forty eight and a half when he was diagnosed with a brain tumor and so I kind of lived through that. He was the healthiest person. He used to go up every morning and bike twenty eight miles. He was a golfer the eighth grade. He was executive. He loved his job. He didn't he had cancer. He ended up woke up one morning with a brain tumor and it was terminal, and I took him to treatment. I took some time off of school. I took him to treatment every day.

It was there was nothing we could have done. We changed everything in the house in that meantime. You know, there was nothing we could do. But is there something we could do before that? And I know what you're trying to say that that's why cancer is such a beast because you can't be eat it, like even like your your stepfather, like he lives essentially almost a perfect life life from a health standpoint, and there's still nothing

you can do. There's so many people out there that suffer from that that there's like, what would you have changed your life? Nothing? Really? Maybe there is something, really, you know, maybe it is the food, Maybe it is the stuff we're putting in our system. Maybe maybe those things are the steps to take. So you know, I mean, like for example, I had to think then bar every morning I read the label and every morning I'm like, this is probably not good for me. It's not you know,

an an egg with avocado on top of it. It's got stuff I can't even understand, pronounce, or say, probably shouldn't be eating that every single morning. So my sister, she is battling cancer herself right now. Oh my god, I'm so sorry. Oh it's okay. It's been like, no, it's not, but it's not. But she found out she was So she found out she was pregnant and had cancer all on the same day. Um, and when did you find out? This was like about like a year and a half ago now, so she's been so the

baby is how the moral of the story. But basically she had to choose the homeopathic rout because you can't do chemo with a baby. Um, so she had to go through the whole homeopathic rout and it was just like she's got a cancer, it's okay, thyroid. So she

was probably stage two, stage three. So it's very very intense and um, I mean she chose to fight for her life for her baby, which was so amazing, and it just shows that there really is a way like she's still battling it, but like there's so many alternatives out there, and like for her, she's like never own a microwave, she never uses teflon. She's a nutrition as her husband is allergic to soy, so like it's so it's like one of the number one contributors to cancer.

It feeds it quite literally sa much sugar. So she had to learn a lot from this, but it's like she still got it and she's like the healthiest person ever. So it's just kind of that thing where it's like life happens. But she even invesigating. She's like Eve, when you buy organic food, it's like really not that organic anymore. Our soils are just so like just filled with pesticides

and toxins. So it's really hard. I think we just live in this day and a age where it's like you can just do the best you're gonna do and like things are going to happen, but there's like ways to overcome it. Which I love her story though, is that you know, sometimes it's like you really have to pay attention to your body, like your liver is so crucial. Like my sister Kylie, she realized her liver wasn't functioning, so sending all the toxins to her like your controller system,

but it's like your PlayStation like controller. You can't work without it, you know. So she just had to really go through a lot. But I mean it's true. It's like telling I mean, she is an awesome story. Is just like you can't really do anything to prevent it, and like genetic speed a lot into that, and you're, I think, there's what you just said, there's there's nothing

you can can do to prevent it. If there's if you're eating McDonald's cheese burn every single day, or if you're having Splendors day, then maybe isn't My sister's like I'm not going to live my whole life like fighting this, Like I want to go to breathe and like have a cook you with my kid. But it's like also tough because you're like, but you're battling this deadly beast. She can end up doing chema. So she's she's really

against it. Through the research, and again, everybody does their own thing, and um, I respect that, but investigating her decision to kind of see how far she can make her body as healthy as possible before going in. Um, Western medicine does kind of compartmentalize, so for her, she was like, I want to see what is going wrong

with my body before going with further things. But um, yeah, she she I think she'll have to go get like surgery, maybe get it all taken out because it's getting to her lymph notes, which is like a little bit because then write what happens after thyroid goes to your lungs goes to your brain? Right? So yeah, well, I'm really sorry that you and your family and you know she's going through that. But it's crazy. I mean, we get

all learned how to make our bodies healthy. And I love that she's using her story to be like, hey, guys, like, let's figure out how to make our bodies healthy. And I think that's really not Yeah, and I think to your point, Mike, it is about moderation. But I think there are things too that we could be more conscious of. That for sure. I mean, again, anyone's out there and thought about it's like what could I cut out today? Yes, but I don't want it because I like having him

in the morning. They're fast, it's easy. But yes, I like Stevia in my coffee. But I see that here's and I wanted to start drinking. Well, I don't know what is I mean. I think they say they're all bad. But one of the reasons why I don't drink coffee not only because of my anxiety, I've been really craving coffee after this baby, and I was like, man, I can't wait to have a cup of coffee. But my problem is I'll put ten splendas. So I actually stopped

drinking or no, I stopped in my tea too. I would do five to six slendas in my tea, I know. So I stopped doing splenda all together and then just drinking regular tea, which I did pretty well there for a minute. But I don't know if I could do that with coffee. So I don't know. It's just I think we can be more conscious, and I'm curious with the listeners out there due to live a conscious, conscious life. Um, So you can emails at Janna Cramer I heart media

dot com to give us some tips. What you might have been cutting out to help without yea, what do you do instead of dryer sheets? Well, I've been using the baby Ganics for Jolie's dryer sheets. But are those good? I don't know. I mean, I just know fran Bonnie Hunt. Why what do they say about dryer sheets though? What are they? What's wrong with it? They're just so toxic and then we're you know, it goes into our clothes, and then we're putting our clothes on, we're wearing them

for fourteen hours a day. But again, okay, we've talked about dryer sheets a decent amount. Okay, but that's on top, that's topical, right, that's on top of your body. And also other things we've heard is you know, putting things inside your body I would think are more important to

change before dry you know, you think about deodorant. Deodorant doesn't go inside your bottom, but it soaks in your bid just something on your shirt could soak into your correct correct But that's not the fastest route to your organism, to your you know, your system. So that's all I'm saying is that my dryer sheets would probably be towards the end of things that I cut out medical summit.

I just don't I'm just stressed. I'm scared. I'm stressed, And honestly, one of the things I mean not to bring up your stuff, Mike, but I because so many people that go through a tragedy or a a big event in their life if they don't, which I'm glad we've talked about our stuff, but that's like one of my scariest thing is because we've had someone that's gone

through affairs and she ended up getting cancer. I think there's something to be said when you don't, when you when you hold in all your disease absolutely and I and I'm like scared. I'm like, am I going to get cancer? Because the two years that we've fought, you know, so that's always been kind of in the back of my mind, which I'm glad that I haven't, but I still hold in certain things. But then it's like everyone has again but out. But now we're doing things to

alleviate those those mental stresses and stuff. And that's why I'm glad Fran said that because therapy is a huge mental aspect to alleviate problems that you might deal with that cause stress that ultimately can cause cancer. So that's taking care of yourself mentally as opposed to in addition to physically and keeping things out of your body. But you guys aren't stuffing feelings down right, we're letting them out.

I think we do at times, Yeah, but at some point you're letting What are you guys doing like specifically though, to like wake up each day and like alleviate your stress, Like what do you guys do together besides therapy? Obviously it's a huge one, but communicate? Can you check in every communicate that alleviates us from the pressure and building and building and building up to our neck. It's just it's a little bit and then we let it go.

Do you guys have like a code word of when you're like, hey, we need to discuss this, like I'm maxed out or something like what do you do? Like we try. We're having a hard time with that. I think we had. I think that's what's something that hopefully we'll be able to get better at. We need to learn how to table things better, and we need to learn how to check in better. No, because our chickens are great, but it's I guess it's hard to I

think we do. You know what I'm saying. I'm trying to understand because I feel like we don't table things well, like table it for later. That's something that we need to get better at we do not table things while at all we've gotten better, but it's still not good because we're stubborn and we just want each other to hear our sides. Listen to me, listen to me, So we should we really read an email? So I like this one. I want kids and my husband doesn't. I'm

thirty been married for five years. I'm happy for the most part, but not always. My husband is thirty six and isn't as ready for kids as I am. This worries me because part of me feels like he would be fine without having kids completely. But I'm not at all okay with us. He says he wants kids only one, though I want at least two. I'm just worried when a kid does come, which we are currently trying, he isn't going to be as involved as I will be because I am much more of a kid person. I'm

a teacher in love kids. Also, how do you keep the love alive? Sometimes I feel so annoyed with my husband. Some days I wonder why marry him? Is this normal? It's so normal? Like today with our argument this morning, I just and he doing it so funny? Is I almost instagram this morning? I just want to say that I'm really annoyed with my husband right now, and it's okay. I still love him, but I'm still annoyed by him. Yeah, but I think it's so normal for people to be

annoyed with their spouse. But I will say, you guys, you're not gonna like me every day. You're gonna love me. Yeah, I'll always love you, but yeah, some days I don't. I don't like you every day? Why But with with with For Kelly though, and she wants kids and husband doesn't. If the husband's actually trying, and that means he at least because I know has say not at all, and they don't even try try. Isn't this a conversation they

should have had before they got married. Yeah, And we're not laughing at you, Cali, We're not laughing judging at all. I just think this is something that people just assume and they're so excited to get married that they forget to have this conversation. And it is such an important conversation. It is. But I do know someone right now that they did not. They both were very strong and adamant they do not want kids. Well, now six years later, she wants kids and he doesn't like I've always told

I told you I do not want kids. She's like, you have to defend him in that case because they have that as that discussion. If she wasn't authentic from the beginning, no, but she was she did not want kids. Well, that's the thing. I mean, it's okay to change your mind. I think it is because you have to accept the fact that he maybe is not going to be on that same pat What doesn't mean they need to go something.

I mean if if Michael, if we had gotten married and he said, you know, I don't want we said we don't want kids, and I change my mind and he says, well, actually I have a great one. My girlfriend, she was married, he didn't want to have kids. She ended up divorcing him because she's like, I will forever regret not having a kid. I will regret I will be um, what's the word like resentful towards him. And

so she left and she ended up adopting. Okay, So, Kelly, you need to investigate if your husband is going to change his mind where he said he wants. He said he wants kids, only one though she wants to. Now they're trying like you said, Janna, obviously he wants you because they're trying to have one. If you have one, and she's worried about him not being an active parent

and present parent. I'm optimistic that that will change once he feels that love and compassion for this human being that he helped create, because once you have a child, I feel like that's when you really understand unconditional love on a whole new level. But there's no guarantee because and I may be single parent right for four years, and if he really doesn't want one, then it's like

there is no guarantee. And that's why I made sure to choose my wordy incorrectly, not say positive or guarantee. You I said, I'm optimistic, hopefully, hopefully that he would be that way. Should we read another one? Okay, so you guys we have we have one from Anonymous. I know why anonymous is anonymous? Most speech man of honor speech for a groom I don't like a man, right because oh it is. It's a matron of honor, so she's actually married. Matron of honor means that she's married.

I mean, we've all experienced this once in our life, right, So I'm about to be matron of honor in my very best friend's wedding, but I hate the room. It's a capitalized h. Have to capitalize hate. Yeah, I do not think he's good for her, but she has set in her ways and that's who she's choosing. It sucks. But if she's happy, I am too. That's not true. But how the hell do you write an m O H speech when I can't find one nice thing to say about him? The whole speech will just be how

much I love my best friend. And that's fine. That's totally fine. That's it. She answered her own question. Just make it about your making about the bride and how much you love her, and how happy you are that she's happy, that she's happy. And again when you said you don't know, you don't think she is, I think you know. You still want your best friend to be happy. I hated my and my my my girlfriend, Amy love

her to death. I hated her boyfriend for like the where we even weren't we couldn't even be friends because he hated me. I hated it, like it's just it was just bad. No, No, she's engaged to a lovely guy, like she's getting married next year. I'm so happy for but there's a point where it's like, if she's happy, you have to just accept. But it's it's it's sometimes gonna be so hard that it's just you can't even. Have you ever been at a wedding where you know

this will not work? My own wedding? Yeah, I was a bridesmaid in a wedding and I remember just standing up there in a terribly ugly bridesmaid dress just thinking, this will never last, this is a waste of time. Not you know, I haven't besides mine, not Michael's the other one. Um, besides that, I haven't. The ones that I've been at, I really truly felt like they would stay together, and they have so far. What about and

your friends? All all my friends. I definitely gonna make it fingers crossed so hard, but like they some will, some won't. Yeah, I heard it now, Drop Duddy that came out that said Jane and I single handily raised marriages. Are they do it like it's not? It's a forty percent or something, And then their article had like a million reasons as to why and because nobody's getting married, I think the people are getting married later so that

becomes a thing. And then also um marriages down there may be marrying smarter and then they just don't want to get divorced and split the money. So I think they just live miserably fantastic, so much fun that's on trend right now, just staying together and being unhappy hashtag miserable miserable. No, no, no no. So I just was traveling this past week, and let me tell you, I walked around trying to find a cord to plug my phone in for at least twenty minutes. It was so frustrating.

I ended up having to walk way past my gate. And now I'm so excited because I get to talk to you guys about away luggage. So it's first class luggage at a coach price. What's so great about it is that you can charge anything that has a USB cord. So carry on cellphone, tablets, e readers, again, anything powered by USB cord, It's going to be charged by your away luggage. It's a hundred day trial. Live with It, Vibe with It, travel with it Instagram. If you don't

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and enter Janna. Yes, Darling, I'd love for you to read this one. I've just gotten a brief all right. This is from anonymous emotionally abusive boyfriend. Today's my five year anniversary with my boy friend Shane. Sorry she's anonymous. Well he's now. That's normally a good thing that makes people happy to say, But today I'm feeling extremely defeated. I'm currently sleeping in my car as I write this

email to you. I had helped his parents clean up a bathroom had overflooded with poop water from their septic being full. So once I cleaned up, I asked him for some cuddles. When I asked for some time with him, he said, I give you attention all the time. I see you all the time. I want time to my effing self. Oh uh. And last week I was suffering extreme from extremely bad migraines, to the point I blacked

out behind the wheel almost struck a telephone pole. I decided it wasn't a good idea for me to be driving anymore and made an appointment to see my g P. His response was, I'm not waiting an hour for you to see your doctor. So I had to find another family member to get me to my appointment and take me home after. Why are you still with him? So I sit so currently, I sit bundled in my car with a blanket pillow in my central needs to make it through the week. I haven't received a text or

own call from him. My question is when is it time to throw in the towel? Now? I know I've been dealing with emotional abuse for him from him for years, and I've accepted that's just who he is. But I'm constantly torn between giving up and fighting for him, because, as as we always hear, when you're in a relationship, you're not supposed to give up easily. But when is

it time? I'm so lost and confused and don't know what to do if I was to leave him, I have nowhere to go, Okay, I just need to start because i'm My first response is to cry because I remember sitting in my car from my abusive relationship with my X, and I remember being like, when is it time? And that was I still stayed with him a year after that, and because I was like, I have nowhere to go, I have no money, He's in control of everything.

I I need him. Because they make you feel like you need them, they totally manipulate you into thinking that you're the problem. You're it's all your fault. You're not good enough. You're never going to find someone good enough. I promise you there is a better guy for you than Shane, because how he's making you feel is just is so uncalled for. It's but I feel bad, you know, saying leave now, because I remember being in that situation and not having the strength or the willpower to leave.

So I feel like a hypocrite saying now, leave now because I didn't. So that makes me like a huge hypocrite because I stayed in it way longer than's been through it, so you know, right, But I also know where she's at and it's going to take her time unless she has like the really truly the power to realize that she deserves better and she like it's I mean, it took me to him trying to kill me to get out of my relationship, and I still slept with him two nights after he's tried to kill me. But

don't you wish you would have? And awful, I just can't share that. But yeah, but that's how, that's how. What did they make you feel? But if you could have gone back to then and you knew someone who went through a very similar situation, they told you that they contemplated it, we weren't sure and struggled with the decision, but then ultimately made it and it turned out okay. Wouldn't you like to hear that story? And here, if I could and go back, I would have left then.

I don't think I would have left. I still don't because when when she says, because she goes right here, I'd have nowhere to go, and you feel helpless? Yeah, and because I had, I because I he made me feel like I had nowhere to go, which and all, and I'm saying to this anonymous, you do have a place to go. You have hopefully you have your family, but I was. My mom didn't know that I was secretly married to this guy. My friends didn't know I

really truly had. And when I did go somewhere, I was, you know, they didn't want me talking to the person. I'm like, well, you don't understand, Like it's just we just had a fight. No it's not. So that's what's like, you have you have to get to that point yourself and where we can tell you to leave, and when you say, like when is it time? That he doesn't sound like he's willing to change and for and then

I look at our situation. I should have left a million times too, but when things kept happening, but I stuck around to see if you would change, and eventually you did, thank god. But it's still a cycle. Yeah, but there's still there is progression through our story, right you know what I mean? So it wasn't just like woke up one day and everything is different. Is progression is both of us learning how to deal with things

and be different in our own way. And if he's not trying, if he's not showing any progression and given anything, which from the email he hasn't, then it's like, you know, he's twenty seven. I imagine she's around the same age. She's not as young as you were when you were going through this, So that's true, you know what I mean. So, yeah, she's a little smarter, maybe has a little bit more stability hopefully. Um So, I mean, in our opinion, in

my opinion, it's time to go. Jen, you agree, Yeah, I think she needs to work on herself for and find her voice, and I think she's probably in a really insecure place and it's going to take her time she has to leave. It's just miserable. And what the positive of this is they're not married, they don't have kids exactly, twenties, like, you got so much ahead of you, so much to enjoy, You deserve to being a loving relationship,

so much to enjoy, so much to be optimistic about. Yes, you spent five the last five years of your life, a lot of growing years in your mid twenties, right, that's when you grow a lot. But you've got nothing but time on your side now. Well, I hope she leaves because it just breaks my heart for her. Anonymous, get back to get back to us, let us know, Um, I love you guys, thanks for winding down. I'm kind of upset right now, so I'm just gonna end this episode. Love you, guys. Ki