Ep. 17 Health Yeah!

two years in the fire department, Fire department. He was incredible. Just I know, I can't stop. I was going to stay like it's like what you need a tissue to like, because it's gonna start bleeding. No, I just I can't. I cannot handle this crater pimple creater pimple that I have. So we woke up super early and Michael is like, I don't He's you're like struggling today, Yeah, because I only slept like three hours. The bed that we're staying at my parents house kind of sinks into the middle.

It's like literally grabbing on the side of each edge of the bed, and so a couple of the nights I just kind of got up. I was like, all right, this ain't gonna work. You have my pregnant wife the bed, and I'll go sep, is it your childhood bed? No, it's not. My brother sleeps in that one. Now, wow, it's your childhood home. Um, I moved there when I was going in junior in high school. So yes, and no, I grew up in a different house, but that one's

still long enough. We had a lot of fun that we surprised his dad and so he had no idea that we're coming. So it was really sweet. And I even did like I even posted a photo of us in l A to try to like throw him off, and then he he everything just worked out perfect. He like just got, oh my god, here piece of six stock on your forehead now, like right, he got home like two minutes before we pulled in the driveway. I mean, it was perfect, and he just looked at Jolie. Jolie

right knocked on the door. It was so cute that it was really fun, and he was, Yeah, he was a fire chief, so he had a long, great career, So what's he going to do now. I mean, after being in such like an adventurous career for so long, what's not he doesn't have the personality to sit at home. He's got things in the work that he's going to work for the state. I know. And then I was like, why are we here that you're really not retiring, You're going to go back to work. He's like, wow, so

it was good. So that was that. That was good. We're traveling. We don't feel like doing life today. He's like, I don't feel like being a dad. I don't feel like being a husband today. I don't feel like being I know. Oh my god, I'm just staring. He sorry, I know. So to re app last week, I have not heard from the friend. I probably won't hear from the friend. That's fine. Yeah, with Michael and I talked about it. It makes me sad, he knows I'm sad

about it. Yeah, you'll grow through it. I heard from one of my friends that's like a weird not friend anymore, but not enemies, and she just sent a random text. So I write right back to like engage at well. I was even telling um, Sarah, actually we're going to pick up Jolie from preschool and I was looking back at my text messages and she was like congrats in your pregnancy, and I said thank you, but nothing after that, Like wouldn't you, like like any other of my friends

would have been like are you so excited? How are you feeling? Like when the baby dad? It was like literally that was it. And so I was like, you know what, And I deleted the text message because I was just like, there you go. You're already moving on. I know. It's sad though, And my friend Leslie text in this morning she said that she was you know,

she listened to it. She's like, you seem sad, and I was like, I'm I'm bummed, right, you know, well, no, it's it's always heartbreaking when you have a long time friend that you know you're going to have to split weights, but you're going to have to agrieve it. Yeah, and you have a lot of great friends in your life. So what about you beb do you if you ever had that you kind of talked about a little bit.

I kind of have one too, where you know, friends for a long time and you know, I don't know, just time goes on in life goes only go in different directions. And sometimes it becomes one sided and you find yourself just having the same conversations. It's not really going anywhere, it's not getting any deeper. What has this been? You know, you were at the age now where it's

quality of a quantity. Absolutely with the especially when you start having kids and family, your time is limited, so you don't have all this time to stay in touch with all these friends, you know when they live you know, different places, is tough. But I know for Jamas situation that was kind of there's some writing in the wall there. It started to become one sided there for a few years where it's really just take take, take, take take by her um and a lot of gift by Janna,

and that wasn't reciprocated. So yeah, that's exhausting. Yeah that's a vampire. Yeah really, I know. I'm sorry. And then we can't talk about um my sister in law. It's just we can't. It's too bad and it's too much of a like it wouldn't be good. How would you best describe it, Michael, I'll tell you. I want you to be sued and not me. All you have to say. I learned a long time ago that fire is hot and I shouldn't touch it. It seems like it's blazing

right now. Yeah, there's no reason to walk over hot cool. No, so we're gonna just we're gonna let that one rest and peace and peace because just sometimes you just gotta just take the highway anything. Yeah. Absolutely, it's it's narcissism, and it's got to the point where saying anything is literally a waste of breath. There's no logic or reasoning in any way, shape or form. Even if you try to be empathetic or understanding or validate the feelings, it

wouldn't matter. It would not matter. So it's just like, Okay, that person is going to be that person and we're not going to let it affect us exactly. It's another situation where you just have to move on. It's just so hard for me because like Michael and I want to be in like our therapist setting, like we were talked about it's like, I mean, what if we like sat her down. It was like, so, you know, how does it how you feel, like what's going on with

your world? Like how do you interpret this? And we just we can see the outcome of this situation. Her just her just still not understanding and just going on because I feel like, what's the thing, and that's it's like they'll they'll only see their side, and it's like, do you even want to waste your breath on that? Absolutely not why you want to sit there. But it's so frustrating. It's it's erupting. It's just frustrating. It is, Okay, I have to tell you guys what I'm recently obsessed

with lately. I took my extensions out. I felt like my hair was really thin. And then I started like trolling people's Instagram and I was like, oh my gosh, their hair looks so good, and they were promoting sugar Bear hair. So I was like, I wonder if this really works, And I'm telling you it does. And what I love about it is that it's actually good for you to take to It's as much vitamin A as four cups of broccoli, as much vitamin C as one cup of cranberries, and as much vitamin B twelve as

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Thank you. I walked in at the right time. We're talking about narcissism. I know, I know, well, in New York we run across a lot of those times. Do you live in you? I do live in New York. Awesome, We'll welcome to beautiful so happy to be here. When did you get in Friday? Friday afternoon? I love it? Are you here for work? Work? All sorts of stuff? Nice? So um, honey, I know, I know you're here and I love you. But we're gonna talk about some of vaginas a little bit. Do you know guy stuff too?

Or is it just I know some guy stuff? Like what would you say, specialized in the guy realm? I mean, I'm a gastroentrologist and interns. But through my g I work, I deal with men, women and all their complaints in the behind area. So the buttle, yes, that that. Well, No, I mean guy to have issues there just as much as women do. So I deal with it all. Have

you ever had a hemorrhoid? No? Never? How you know what, women get a much more because when we have babies and we're carrying all that pressure in the area women, it's much more common in women. So I had my first hemorrhoid when I was pregnant with my daughter Jolie, and I literally had to stick my finger up my butt like to push the hemorrhoid back. It happens, didn't go through that, You didn't. It's miserable you didn't get hemorhids. But I don't have it with this pregnancy though. I

have now a hernia. It's called an inguinal hernia inguino, that's what I called it. Inguino. You don't know what you're talking about. That's in the urban dictionary. So like, what can I just ask you a question about that? Because so my doctor basically said that I can't have surgery on it until unless it twists. Should be then life threatening and you'd have to have surgery. So what what should I not do to not have it twist?

And when will I know if it twists? Well, Okay, So basically what a hernia is is where part of your intestine is kind of protruding through a little hole or defect in the muscle. Yeah, so I've an intestine all the way down to my vagina. Yeah, You're intestine actually passes all through that entire area. So basically, what can you prevent it? Part of it is unpredictable. We

don't know when that might happen. But you also want to avoid like straining a lot carrying very heavy things, which if you're pregnant you probably shouldn't be doing anyway. But you know, I think where I got it from. Those started, Michael, when we were moving out of our Nashville house. That is when it started to hurt because I was lifting all those heavy boxes. Had laughs. I know, I was pregnant and I was lifting all those boxes and we're moving like heavy heavy stuff. Yeah, so that's

probably why I can't where it came from. And in terms of how would you know if it is getting what we call strangulated or twisted in a dangerous way. It hurts, So sitting down here, I'm like, I mean, like they like, it hurts so bad, So it's going to get severe paint. Not necessarily Um, with the pregnancy, yeah, I mean, as there's more pressure there, it could be. But also once you finish your pregnancy, it might get a lot better. So I think it's like reassess after

you deliver, but most likely have a surgery. It probably makes sense to do that, yeah, because you don't want to have this kind of ticking time bomb for am I allowed to still work out? Um? I mean I don't know what's going on with your pregnancy and all that. So I've been so fine being able. If my doctor was you know, he was just like I just don't want you to like lifting heavy weight because he doesn't know like whether he's like, well you need to talk

to a surgeon about whether you can work out. But pregnancy, I've been healthy, yeah, I mean, like aerobic type stuff is fine. I wouldn't do weight bearing exercises that affect that area, pulling on that because it hurts, and I'm always like, honey, my heurne out like I feel like I'm like eighty years old, but I heard and it gets like super So, I mean it's like a baseball down there and you haven't seen a surgeon yet because

it's just because, well, just because this one. I always tell people who may need surgery for something is go see a surgeon, have a conversation, because what you don't want to do is three am on a Saturday night, have an emergency and have to call the random person who's on calling the r who we have no relationship with. So I think it's always good to establish that relationship.

I tell people of gallstones who aren't necessarily ready to get the actual surgery, meet with someone having, like, you know, a relationship, so that if God forbid, something does happen that you do need something done, even before you deliver, you have the person in place. So if I tell my husband because I'm kind of a hypochondract where like we were in Park City, I'm a hypochondract, I freak out really fast. I get like I get superum. For example, we were in Park City for his birthday and I

had a rash on my face. I've never gotten a rash on my face, and I'm like, I can't breathe, I'm gonna die, like and then yeah, and then I thought like my lungs were closing up. He's like, you're fine. I'm like, oh, nine one one, right, now and he's like, you're fine. I was like, oh my god, not listening to me. I'm having an anxiety attack. And he's like, you need to breathe and I'm like and I was

so angry and for not calling that on one. Eventually I was like I can't breathe where I could totally breathe bag because when when the nine one did come, they're like, you have like oxygen, check it again, and mind you it's about eight firemen that come walking in, paramedics that look like they're on the calendar. She was doing good looking guys. I was like, they're like, what's wrong. I was like, I have a rash on my face

or like we don't see anything. I'm like, this is a rash to me, it's but it's like spread like crazy. But anyways, so if I tell my husband like, hey, I'm in a lot of pain in the hernia, like he needs to take that serious. Yeah, because it's a life threatening can become a serious emergency. Yeah, what about Nanna's hypochondria, what's like your best advice on that? Because it's hard, you know, I mean you have always like this morning, my feet hurt. So I decided answering my foot. Yeah,

I was like, I have this is the end. Like I just was like, oh shoot, like can I can we just get to line already? You know. Part of the problem is these days with the Internet, I think hypochondria has exploded because you can have a little cough and then you look it up and you're like, oh, I have lung cancer obviously you know so, and you can just find all this information. So I definitely tell my patients and even my friends like all of that

kind of information. If you are someone who tends to get anxious, ignore it, like, don't even look at the Internet, because you will drive yourself crazy. If you're someone who needs to look, just remember that all of those things, or let's say the majority of those things haven't necessarily been vetted by a doctor or a medical professional. And

it's also very individual. So one person may say I took X Y Z medicine and I got a horrible reaction, But that doesn't mean that the other people who take it don't do fine. You know. Like so I always say, when you're reading that information, process it within the context of a conversation with your doctor. So if you see something internet, hopefully you have a good relationship with your doctor.

Obviously you're not seeing them every week, but you want to discuss Okay, there you go, but before you believe anything you see on the internet, discussed it with someone who actually knows what they're doing. We are oh yeah, I'm like, oh, there's like a little bump on my arm that's been there for eight months. I'm like, whatever, it's just something. Everybody's like, you need to go want to get that check right. I mean, the flip side is also not great. You don't ignore things. Um, so

there's a happy medium there. But I also think it's funny that people there are people who are so you know, obsessed with like every little rash or this and that, and yet they eat terribly, they don't exercise, like they're not doing the things that actually will keep them healthy. And if you focus all that energy on that kind of behaviors, chances are you're gonna be great and be

very happy whenever. Like, because we're hypochondriacs, So my dad told me whenever I have an ailment that I'm required to wait three weeks before I'm allowed to worry about it because I would be like because it goes away like the feet thing is already gone, like that was this morning, the footing. The footing was this morning and last night a little it's gone. And like I have the scar and I'm convinced that like the thing they removed is coming back, like I just right three years. Yeah,

I just can go crazy. I mean, I will say that. With the hernia thing though, you you were mad that I hadn't checked on it because it's been like two months. But I thought it was cancer. That's why, because it kept growing and I was like, it's a lump. I have cancer. And it's interesting because you thought it was something terrible and for that reason you didn't go Yeah, And that's like I have patience like that, And sadly sometimes I will I do colonoscar Bey's all the time.

I'll find cancers and sometimes people have no symptoms and they have no idea. But there are other times where people had symptoms and they were so scared about getting that diagnosis that they delayed going to the doctor. And when it comes to some like cancer, time is so important, especially exactly, but there's something you can't touch, right, Yeah, I mean there's some cancers addict. I was just gonna say you just have the stomachache and then you're done. Yeah, unfortunately, um,

and not everyone. But it doesn't have great survival race. Yeah, it doesn't cause symptoms until it's quite advanced, which is which is so what can you do in that situation? Well, there's not mine. I mean, even if you have a family history of pancreatic cancer, there is really still no screening test for it, unfortunately, because again, like it doesn't really manifest even on a cat scan until it's fairly significant.

Sometimes catch it if they're in there for something else and do the whipple, because I'd watch a ton of grason at right. Well, whipple is an absolutely massive, massive surgery that, like you know, you're getting for another very serious problem. Colon oscarpy is mostly from men. No, I'm so glad you brought that up, because I need to get a colonoscopy soon. No women are. She did because her husband passed away from colon cancer. Women and men

have the exact same risk of colon cancer. It is the third cancer killer from men and women, and we're all supposed to get it. We used to say age fifty. Just about a month ago they changed the recommendation to forty five. So yeah, I'm forty six, So I definitely fell into that. I didn't think I needed it. I literally thought it was just for men because Uncle Roy when got his done, and so I just thought it was like for dudes. And I've never heard like my

mom get one? She should do your parents get a colonoscopy? I know my dad has. Yes, See why is it like maybe just I don't know, maybe it's just one of those things that I get a colonic Yeah, that's totally different, totally different. And what's the deal with mammograms to what age are we supposed to do that? Yeah? Well okay, first, why did they lower it for colonoscopies? We are seeing a trend of colon cancer occurring in

younger people these days. Interesting, not exactly clear why. It may actually have to do with food, processed foods that were those to also lack of exercise. Um so when you know, fifty used to make sense, but we were seeing more and more younger people, so it was, you know, established by societies that we should to make an appointment in June. There you go. Oh my god. Mammograms is a very marking issue. Yeah, in terms of when to

get a mammogram. UM. The guidelines keep changing, you know, guyde colleges feel differently than breast cancer surgeons who do feel differently than in the American Cancer Society. I generally still think forty is at the right time for women to have at least a baseline mammogram. So Dr Rush, can we give a little p s A about your first mammogram because I got totally freaked out the first time I went, because they called me a few days later and all they said was we need for you

to come back in. They didn't say, oh, because this is your first one, your breast might be more dense that we have nothing to go off of. They just said, we see something you need to come back in. So for like three days, why don't they tell you like, oh, you know, I'm really sorry, but you know, we need you to come back in. But it's only because you know, you might be a little more and we don't have

anything to go off of. Yeah, no they should. I mean where I get mine UM, and I also have dense breasts, so every time I go they need additional views. I mean luckily they do it right there. Like the doctor will look at it and say Okay, no, we need to take more um. But yeah, even for those five minutes, it's like nerve wracking because you're like, why, why do you need to take more. It's a very routine part of a mammogram, so women shouldn't be alarmed

when that happens. Of course, that's easier than done, and it's a scary kind of phone call to get. But yeah, depending on kind of the density of your breast, it's harder to see things that something might look like something cancers when it's really not. They just need to take different angles for your first one. Just remember if they call you back. My girlfriend just had something like that

happened where and then there. Then she asked those cancer the doctors like, I don't know, and they had to take a thing, but it was just her lymph nodes on both sides just had to But it was you say a prayer. I'm like, oh my God, like why is this happening? And they made an ultrasound as well, like untually get ultrasounds. Now I don't node in college behind my right nipple. Are you serious, asked my trainers, and they kind of gave me one of those. Uh,

he's probably gonna get that checked out. Can men get breast cancer? They can. It's rare, but they absolutely can. And if they have a family history breast cancer, meaning a female relative, they're at higher risk for it. Well, my grandma, but there's more lung cancer that got hurt. Oh my gosh, did she smoke? Yeah she did, but she had breast but then it went to her lungs. But anyways, I almost died. You didn't realize contribute to

the breast. But you always you always say you have lumps places though, like you show me things all the time. You're like looking behind it, behind your ear. There's one. It's just limplanes just kind of flare up whenever, or can when you have an infection or and you might even realize that you have a little virus, you know, and that can make your limp node swell up. But if it's permanently swelling or certainly getting bigger, you definitely want to talk to you. What do you think about

boob jobs? Then? What do I think about them? Like? Do you think it's do you think it's do you think it's not good? Because of what? I don't think it. I don't think it. It poses a medical risk in terms of like breast cancer or anything like that. Um, I think it's a very major surgery, so I don't think anyone should just take it lightly. And with any surgery, you know, you can have a risk of infection and

things going wrong and dying from anesthesia. You know, like these things can happen, so it should be a very careful decision. I feel like I've gone down so many times from anesthesia, Like it's like my skittles, Like I don't have my gall butter on my appendic tent. You know, I feel like I've gone down a lot. Do they even give you anaesthesia and romanium when you go It's a long story, but so okay, So I don't have

my gall bladder independix? What is that doing? Is that bad? No? Well, losing your and by the way, the thing with the breast surgery, um, you know most of them you have to do. I think all of them replace it every ten years, every twelve years. So it's another thing just to think about another surgery when you're ten years older. You may not be as healthy, but now they can put that in there, yes, then they're not as round them. When did you lose your appendix. That's another one of

my hypochondria years. I actually googled the other day most common age for appendicitis and I'm out of the way right. Well, I mean appendicitis because they could come out like any age though cana the Well, my story is a little different because I was nineteen in Romania. I was shooting a horror film and I kept having like really bad pains down there. Um, and so when one of the night shoots, my leg went numb and they rushed me the hospital and they said my appendix was a plane

that they had to take my appendix out. Well, really, it was never my penis that was the problem. It was my gall bladder. I was passing stones, so they took out. So they took out like they took out my appendics didn't even need to. And then, um, I had long story short, I had to get flow like flown back to the States and then within twenty four to take my gall bladder. I was. My pancreas was so messed up and pneumonia, it was a whole like it was crazy. I know, it's really bad. Yeah, but

the real life version will be a lifetime in twenty years. Um. Yeah, your appendix luckily doesn't do anything really, so you don't need it. Then why did God put it in our body? We're not sure. It's called a vestigial organ, meaning at some point it probably had a purpose um evolutionarily, for whatever reason, we kind of outgrew its purpose, but it's still there um and really at this point only it does contain some immune cells, but you have plenty of others,

so you don't really need it. And then what about the gall bladder? Now, yeah, you know it does contain bile, which helps you digest fat and things like that. So sometimes people who lose their gall bladder may not process fat as well, they may get diarhe a little bit more. But now, like in real fast going number one or number two because the same amount of time, how can bathroom? Honey? Do you have any questions on why your swings left or right or anything like that. I don't any any

of vagina questions or anything I do. Uh, what about testosterone? Like, do you think that's something that guys should get checked? Is it something? Yeah? You know I found this in New York to be this craze now, especially with like Wall Street guys and everyone's taking testosterone or feel like they have a testosterone, and I think it's sorry, I don't know that. So testosterone is a male hormone. U, yeah,

we have estrogen. Men have testosterone, But why would you want more of it to make you stronger, able to look more ways, able to sexually perform better, more frequently, whatever it is. But the truth is, too much testosterone can actually harm your body and your heart. Um, So it's not something you should just take without real life, you know, checking whether you were actually deficient or not.

So some testosterone is normal to decline a bit as a man ages um, but before getting any sort of supplement or injection, you really should check the level with a reputable doctor because there are some you know kind of doctors will just give it to anybody. I know a guy that gets uh, like pellets like tesac and like pellets injected his but and that's like the newest thing I heard of it. Yeah, yea yeah, not not

the whole or nothing, but right right, right, yeah. So it's just interesting because I, like you're saying, I've heard more about this, like guys taking I'm taking to and I'm doing this undering that I'm like no, and like human growth hormone is like another thing that's sort of being used in a similar way. But again, like all of these things, you know, even if you can buy something without a prescription or whatever, that doesn't mean it can't harm your body in a significant one botox does.

Is that harming me? No, it shouldn't. It really shouldn't. I mean there's a few people who might have that random you know, one and ten thou reaction where they d b I. Yeah, they get you know, a Drew b I or whatever. But for the most part, it's it's safe. It's very superficial. Why do people say, well, it's a whatever, it's poisons it is, And I mean the way it works is it paralyzes um the muscles

of your face. So you can imagine if you injected botox into your heart and it paralyzed your heart, you would die, you know. But it's not getting to there. It's it's such a superficial injection. So what about the other fillers. There's this new one sculpture that they are injecting eight vials in each like butt cheek, and it helps build collagen instead of having the Brazilian butt lift, and it lifts up the button builds collagen have you. I don't know it um in particular. Again, I my

thing with cosmetic injections. I always I have a couple of very good friends from med school for dermatologists, and I'm like, go to a dermatologist, you know, don't across the hall. Yeah, that's what I did this weekend. I had that injected. How does it feel? I don't know, We'll see. I don't understand why people like I don't. I just understand that, like why, like why do you want the kardash Ham But I don't want the kardashi Ham? But I just want Fine, you asked about it after

you already did. I'm asking for a friend. I do not want Kardashian, but I just I'm going to be forty five in June. How do I get rid of cellulate? I don't have. I don't have any for anyone listening, but just for some reason, you can't, can Yeah? I mean so you know what cellulated is, right, It's those those fibrous bands of tissue that kind of cut across the fat and give you that dimpling appearance to your skin.

So it's it's hard. I mean, there's anything that claims to really get rid of it is really only going to maybe temporarily reduce the appearance of it. So there's some kind of caffeine based creams that can do that. Um, But it's really just for for some reason, certain people are more predisposed to get cellulate than others. But you know, toning exercises, losing weight can help a bit, um, but unfortunately it's kind of genetic. Why did you go into career? Yeah, um,

I in med school. I loved like surgery. I love being able to look inside someone and immediately see a problem. I think I'm kind of a little bit of an impatient person, like I like to see the issue and fix it. But I didn't love the surgeon kind of lifestyle of you see a patient once, you may never see them again, or you'll see them like one time after to check their wound and then they're done. So in gas from geology, I kind of get to do both.

I do these mini procedures colin ascopies and ascopies where I can actually go in remove a polyp, you know, biopsy of cancer, fix a bleeding ulcer, you know, kind of the exciting stuff. But then I also have to me exciting. I love it. You have such passion for you to I do the days of doing procedures. It's like I'm not working. I just enjoy it so much.

But then I have those long term patients with Crohn's disease or irritable bell or whoever, so that I've known for years and years, and I get to develop those relationships. What's the best and worst thing you can eat for those symptoms? Um for which symptoms? Well for just digestive, just general for to be healthy and your digestive tract. The best things you can need. I would say fiber.

Fiber is like we hear about it, so you know, we've heard about it for years, but now we're even learning more about how important fiber is and how most of us are not getting nearly is enough, you know they I think the recommendation for women is twenty five grams a day most American women are getting, like you should be meta mucles great. I think you can get it in food though as well. And we know how where the plant based diet is, so if you get

it that that yep. And then probiotics, I'm interesting passionate about probiotics, healthy bacteria. You know it started in the g I world and how good it is for our gut. But we're now learning that healthy bacteria and maintaining a balance in your gut effects your immunity, your metambolism, you're

the way you gain or lose weight, even personality. They've done studies now on things like depression and anxiety and what's the best probot because we give we give our daughter a probiotic in the morning in her in her milk. But what I've never actually heard of adults taking probiotics. Oh yeah, for sure, I think you know, and I you know, full disclosure. I have a probiotic skincare company called Tula, and we actually have a to U l A and we have a probiotic supplement as well, which

is for GI health and skin health. But I think generally when I'm talking to any patients like, yeah, now I designed it, you know. And this is the thing about probiotics is that anyone can really put anything together and market it. It's not very regulated the probiotic industry. So there are hundreds of probiotics out there and it's kind of hard to tease out which ones are good or not. There are a couple that I do recommend to my patients if they have specific GI issues. Aligne

is one, cultural is another one. But what I also tell people is we're now learning it's important to have a real variety of bacteria and that the best way to get that is really through food. So yogurt that says with live and active cultures, um kafeir is like a yogurt, like drink, um sauer kraut, kim chi, tempei miso. All of these things have a variety of probiotics in them, So really trying to get that into your really your daily diet, okay, and what not to eat. Processed foods

are not good. Sugar is really anti inflammatory. I think from fruit it's okay, But the added sugar, you know, refined sugar, we don't like. Um. I mean the worst things in the world really are processed meats in terms of your g I health, So only cancer cold cuts are terrible favorite and cheese and wine is like my like wine is good, cheese, I'm I'm really leaning more towards the antibiotic free, so organic cheese is I don't like the antibiotics in the dairy. But um, hot dogs

are terrible. Oh yeah. I mean if it's as nitrate free, then it's fine, But it's the nitrates in the hot dogs which are really cancer causing. Red meat. Absolutely, red meat is not good. I mean even like even if you bought a cow, because we eat steak a lot. We love, not a lot, but I mean we like every two weeks or so. Yeah, well every two weeks is fine. Yeah. I would just say on a daily basis,

the majority of your plate should be plant based. And what I mean by that is vegetables, fruits, les, nuts, you know, things that come from the earth. But what if like your body type, like sorry, maybe what if the blood type thing, because some blood types are meant to be like more carna. Whatever is that? I don't know if I really buy that. I don't think there's anybody that benefits from like a high red meat diet.

But what about like back in the day, like they ate meat and they live a long time, they didn't really live a long time. Yeah, maybe that's what our appendix was for. Maybe maybe besides probiotics, is there anything else you recommend with daily multi bottom? You know, I know fish oils years back when I was in athletics, that was like a big thing which was taking fisher wars every day. Is that? Yeah? I think fish oil

you know why? Fish oil as good as the omega threes, and I think I recommend getting that through walnuts and fish um as opposed to the supplement. If for whatever reason you can't get it in your diet, then I think fish oil is a good one. I think vitamin D is something that a lot of people these days are deficient in, so that actually when emple meant women, Yes, and it's important for a bone strength, so that's an

important one. But even just a regular daily vitamin. I mean, the studies have really gone back and forth on that, and some recent studies show it's it's harmful to take a daily vitamin. So again getting those vitamins from a variety of brightly colored fruits and vegetables. I mean, I know I sound a little pollyannical about it. It's the true. That's actually the healthiest thing you can do. Yeah, well,

I switching gears. You just want to know the most common question you get that women are embarrassed to ask you, but you get it all the time. Um, I get a lot. I mean women when they come to see me Um. Women, unfortunately, we're raised to like not really talk about our bound movements and passing gas and diarrhea and all those things. It's not ladylike. Um, that's what you know. I think that's changing, which is a good thing.

But um, so I think a lot of times women are embarrassed about like I passed so much gas and I can't I can't go to the bathroom and my boyfriend's place because it's so loud, or I'm so embarrassed to go on dates things like that. Um, And so then we'll talk about, you know, what are they eating or could this be a sign of silliac disease which is a you know, reaction to gluten wheat protein, which

is very common these days, and the different causes for that. Um, I guess I would say that's probably one of the most common embarrassing complaints that people talk about. Yeah, getting rid of that stereotype, which is great, you know, it's true. Like even doctor Oz back in the day, the fact that he talked about what should your poop look like? I mean that is why I know right after school and I was like, if my poop looks like it's the toilet, like I have a healthy poop. I'm like,

doctor as would like that poop doctors approved. Yeah, it's so funny. I like I remember catching that. It opened up the door to um. These kinds of conversations. I wrote a book a few years ago called What the Yuck? The Freaky and Fabulous Truth About your Body, And it's all about these embarrassing questions that women have. You know, when it comes to pregnancy, all sorts of weird things happen, or fertility or anal sex, like all these things that

women may not feel comfortable discussing. Is anal sex healthy? Should we be doing that? Or not? Well? Should you? I mean, I'm prescribing it to you. I don't know, but um, anal sex is one of those things that if you're going to do it, you mean, you need to do it the right way, meaning there should be a lot of lubrication. You have to be relaxed because if you are tense, um, you could cause trauma in

that area. And that's not good because I said, well, it's it's not really hemorrhoids, but you can cause irritation, like an actual inflammation of your colon if you're breaking the you know, the skin there you can get an infection and you're more prone to getting STDs if there's broken skin there. Um, you want to be careful about not having anal sex and then immediately having vaginal sex without cleaning. Yeah, I mean you can, Like those are

the worse than a bladder infection and you can't. Oh my god, that I'm that I'm waking up the husband at three o'clock in the morning. I need the orange pill from for the U T I. Yeah. So it's one of those things where I certainly don't say don't do it, but if you're gonna do what you have to do, well. On that note, Dr ros Dr Rage, where can we find you? You can find me at Dr Roshani Raj dot com. It's d R Roshani Raj dot com. Okay, So what I think is really cool

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I'm gonna let you do the intro because this is your is this your friend like bestie eating is I just had massive vertigo, So more like my sister. M J is the one m J from Shows of Sunset has just joined us. Oh my god, I love the enthusiasm. Thank you. You want some siddle. So m J is more like my sister than she is my friends. She is.

She was my real estate client. Yes, yes, and so we spent so much time together because I well know, the thing that you do when you're seducing your clients is that you take them on a really nice brunch before you go house hunting. For about three and a half hours, we went to Coyote this one time, nice and on time. It's on Beverly bol of a liquid brunch for sure. We also ate food, did we Nachos

and Margarita's cane? You had vegetarian, but it was a vegan and it was also a double date by yes, So well, you don't want to go grumpy, hungry on or angry on house hunting, right, No, you can't because you're just out. If it was if we were house hunting and went to Mexican food this day, this time of my life, I would have bathroom emergence, sees the whole. This was twelve years ago, wasn't twelve twelve? I think?

So they're teen years ago and you just got married, I did, How okay, so how long have you been with your now husband? Exactly four years since we swiped on Tinder? Yeah, it was it was all all the communication was within the app, and then the app would crash and then we would have absolutely no way of getting in touch with each other. So and then I would panic because I really liked him, but he wouldn't

ask me for my damn phone number. He wouldn't push the relationship to the next point of even phone number, And then I had to ask him, when are you gonna ask me for my phone number, and then he said, okay, well whenever you're comfortable. That was game. That was That was a game. And Michael and I met on Twitter, and I like Twitter and Tinder, like we just have the classic left star. So he definitely sought you out. Duh when I was your first mine? What did you hi?

I'm a big fan. Did you use all on forty characters? I followed him when that's when he was like, hey, thanks for the follow like I'm a fan or whatever. And then but then I gave him my number because I'm like, I'm not gonna like props for you for waiting, but I just like couldn't. I'm not like, I'm like, here's my number, let's just like get to hours later. I was. It was twenty four hours. Oh that's that's as well. There you are you guys beat us? Do

you now have a baby? How long altogether since you tweeted? Since we're starting from swipe, we start from four years ago. But let me tell you it's been a ride, sister, Oh for sure. Yeah. I was actually thinking about how I think, you know, they say work smarter. It's kind of an annoying way to say what fight smarter is when I was thinking about in the chart, what's your

biggest issue with your husband? Oh, the stupidest thing you could come up with, Like he tossed his food into the trash bin from a distance, and so then it like trickles onto the floor and inside of the trash can has like catchup, and then it gets dry and crusty, and so then I start dry eaving while I'm trying to clean it to ice cream. And then eventually he'll get he'll get angry because we're both real hotheads, but I love Tommy. Is a problem with you guys both

being hoteads? Yeah, because like the last fight we had, he didn't talk to me for seven days. What do you think about that? I don't do that. We're hot heads too, but we've learned to. How is your communication? It's improving. I swear it's improving. I'm really I don't know if it sounds possible, but I really think that he's listening to my grievances and fixing them. He loves you so much, and you can see it when he's looking at her. It is the sweetest, sweetest, It really

is what makes you a shock? The phone rang, Yeah, and someone I thought it was a crank call. Someone said, would you be interested in participating in this docuseries about your family and friends? And I said, why would you want me? Yeah? And then you know it was a r N Secross production, and so the development guy who's I'm still close with, um Jesse lead, he came over and got to know us, and he put together the sizzle reel and the rest is history. What's the craziest

thing about you? Oh, oh my god, lightning around? Um, I can say, like I do gross things. I don't think I like like like no, no, like I just picked my nose. Um, well, okay. If Tommy was here, he would say that I don't take the food into the kitchen right after I finished eating it. But I'm like, but I might want like another bite later, like how much later, like tomorrow. I have no idea what my craziest thing is. What's your craziest thing, honey, that's not nice?

Probably well it's it just depends. Like we talked earlier, like I'm a hypochondrac so like definitely that's something. And then I just, um, I I ruminate a lot, like that's my crazy. So that must really hurt you because if you're wondering and worried, you know, up staying up at night, worried about what could be wrong with you. I would want to hear you from having that problem. Thank you. I'm cured, okay. During during your pregnancy. Her

craziest thing is her nightstand. What your nightstand got like ten lacroix three days ago? Things that like if I don't clean it off, it would be I mean, as tall as the lamp on the nightstand, just how it is. It's just mostly when she's pregnant. I hate Lacroix. Only when I'm pregnant I can drink it. Oh, it's my favorite thing. Do you get heart burn? I didn't get heartburn? Wait do you have any so no kids yet? Do

you want to have kids? Of course? Yeah? Yess Here so first I froze my eggs and then i'm did you freeze your eggs? Here? What do you mean like in l A? Oh? Yes, we're which were play? Which place? Um? Actually? SCRC Southern California Reproductive Doctor um doctor Shoen Goodeer. Oh he I just did a second with him and the doctors. He's awesome, He's so sweet. I am in such good hands with him. Yeah, he's awesome. Yeah, and I went to high school with him. That's funny. Yeah, so he's

actually a really, really good guy. Um. I would run into him it's places like Rackons, and he would say, you're my only friend who hasn't frozen their eggs. So I really had um an ignorant mentality about it because I thought I had all the time in the world.

I'm now forty five, but at the time, I was in my third late thirties, and I think that the false, um misleading things that we read about women getting pregnant late in their forties gives women in their late thirties a false sense of security that they should wait when they shouldn't. Well, and I will say this because I feel like I got misquoted. I would went to a premier last week and US Weekly asked me something and I said, I personally wanted to be done at thirty five.

But for me, it's like they put such a target on women over thirty five because after thirty five year geriatric. But I didn't mean that. It's not it's not a bad thing to be able to have. I heard about that. Actually you're getting backlash for it. Yeah, But I'm like, I didn't say like for me personally, I just wanted

to be done before. We've had a really hard time getting pregnant, and you know, I'm blessed that we're pregnant for the second time, and I I just I want to stop after this, Like I don't want to test my I don't want to go through like what we've been through. I would love to have had my kids younger. And I think, first of all, you should be able to have an opinion. That's something that we're not allowed

to have anymore without getting crushed in the media. But I respect your opinion, and I think that if you're going to harvest your eggs, then women, you guys should do it now. Don't wait until you're forty and over, because you're just ruining your chances of like how many eggs you can harvest and the quality of the eggs too. And that's but that's what I meant to say. And the thing was like, it's sad that it's called geriatric at thirty five, because women are, you know, having totally fine,

healthy pregnancies forty on. So it's like, but why at thirty five, I'm like, that to me is still young. Why has that being called geriatric? I mean, I know the chances of healthy pregnancy and all those things go up, but it's still like it puts such a negative kind you know, and like makes you just feel old and gross. I'm like, why why would they do that? I don't know, I don't like it. It's no, it's total manipulation. I agree.

Um so I froze eggs, and then when Tommy and I were ready to have kids, we created the embryos. I mean, I don't know why I said ready to have kids when I knew that we were going to have a future to get there before you met Tommy. And then I did another round when we were together, and then I we made embryos, thank god. And then now the other thing that's very misleading is that you think that once you have the embryos, that you can just get pregnant tomorrow. It's taken me off. I think

it's been a process of like almost a year. Because how many implantations have you done. I haven't done any yet, but I the day before two of them that yeah, it was canceled, and one because of polyps and another one because of the lining, and one of the rounds. I didn't see the increase in my medication on the calendar because it was really finite, like fond and I didn't know. So yeah, I mean, and I did a mock cycle to make sure that everything would go well.

So here we are. I will say, it's so frustrating, and I wish your husband was here because I know from Michael, like especially the amount of medicine. First of all, freezing my exact process. I mean, all that, all that, all those hormones, I mean, it makes you effing crazy, yes, and then going through the process of the embryos or you know that that month lead up before that, all the shots, all the injections. Thus, progester own shots are no joke. I mean, could you even sit down after

you got those shots? Basic right here, it's like there's like a nut underneath. Yeah, I mean it hurts so bad. And I mean, luckily my husband. I don't know how your husband was, but my husband's was just you know, he helped. I gave him a shot of progester own. It was not the needle and I didn't actually inject it, but I mean like he let me like put the because I was in the needles. It's a huge, but it's like it's long and thick and super scary and like.

And I even said to him, I was like, you need to give me a lot of grace this next month because my hormones are going to be up and down and I don't even know what's going on with me. Yes, I would ask Tommy and his friends please send him links to articles about being more compassionate, because Tommy is very Archie Bunker when it comes to this topic. There's no compassion. He doesn't care, he won't like, he doesn't

care about what. He doesn't care. If I have my body's going through incredibly emotional roller coaster physically, I would get migraines. I would have v Yeah. I really thought I was on the brink of an an irreversible depression because it was so hard the previous cycle, and I figured out I just turned it around. I must have been the grace of God, because before that, I was like, am I going to be stuck in this reverse feeling? How long is this gonna last? Is going to get worse?

And then the person next to me was not like compassionate at all. And we know Tommy loves me. So this isn't to bash him at all. He's just a real New Yorker. Yeah, very Archie bunker though when it comes to that. So it's hard because, like you were saying, you really need someone to be extremely like hoddle you and do that hand holding and just give you that encouragement that you want dessert. I mean, he's in the feel yeah, all I knows, especially the second time around

when we did it. Um. This last time, it was it helped me to be more compassionate by being more involved with understanding her medical schedule, knowing that she had to take Hey, honey, reminder we have you know you have to take this. I mean granted she was better at it than I was, but still making sure I knew what she had to take that day, I tried to do as good as I could. Um, because that

just naturally got me more involved. Whether you know Tommy does that and still doesn't express as much compassion, at least you probably won't feel as alone. Yeah, he'd be like, hey babe, remember today you up your progesterone. And I'm like, thank you, amazing, This is exactly I'm so glad that you said what you said, because I actually talked to Jenn about this when we when I did go to the doctor appointment alone, then he didn't know what was

going on. Right when I asked him to come with me, then everything he started to feel it more because he was seeing it rather than hearing about it when he got home that night. So it really does make a

really big difference and also really engaging him. So I would forward the calendar to him, I would ask him to check it for me, and obviously strategically just because I did succeed in engaging him so these previous cycles when he wasn't being that way, I wasn't having him come along this particular in the middle of a cycle now, so um, you're right. I think that's completely the best way to engage and and share the experience together at

being there physically. And have you asked him verbally said like Tommy, I need your help with this. Yeah, like in a baby voice, like babe, are you gonna help me? It's just just again from just hearing what Jen said, like an old you know Archie Bunker, New Yorker, that you know, masculinity, we want to feel needed and that our woman needs us to be able to do something.

So if you know, if jan came to me in a serious not in a way, but serious like, honey, I really need your help, like I'm struggling with staying on schedule. I'm struggling with this, Like I could really use your help to guide me to you know, get to where I need to be with this, Like can you help me? I think that you're a hundred percent right. And for anyone who's has this ahead of them, this advice that you're giving will work. We applied it this

time and it makes all the difference. So he's doing better now. Yes, okay now, but he has his mentality towards life is walk it off. It works. But also like no, he's in. He's improved because I started to make sure that he comes with me. Yeah, I mean definitely, that's because then he knows. But I mean it's for the whole year he didn't There was a whole like like nine out of the twelve months there wasn't that support.

So it's just on your body. Yeah, and then and then having to be able to go because I remember when they said that my line almost wasn't ready and I'm like wait, so all the as injections for for nothing, for nothing. All that money was for nothing for your body to go through that cool. I mean, so, how many embryos do you have? We have one batch. I mean, honestly, my doctor good Deer said, don't worry about the number,

and I actually don't know. I know that we have one batch that's sitting in the lab frozen and one that's currently like I don't know, Yeah, few, okay, I honestly, like psychologically at the time, I didn't want to pressure myself.

So it's it's hard. And I mean Jane and I having gone through it, you know twice, we just understand the amount of emotional pressure and you know how much it affects people that go through this, So you know, people don't realize sometimes how hard it is to get pregnant, especially through this IVF process. That we just were very empathetic towards you know, you and Tommy and people have to go through this because we understand. For Shandon, it's hard. Yeah,

I documented the last IVF. Obviously it didn't end well, but um we got pregnant and we lost it. But you should watch it. Usually watch like it's Michael's in it too, and it's just it's just shows kind of like what we go through, so maybe he'll be more empathetic after you see something like that too. So it's it's it's in a YouTube channel, so okay, yeah, we will check it out. Yeah, self flux, self fluck. Now I'm getting um, so when does it once? The show

on what night seen? It's on Thursday nights, okay, and it's the big wedding season for you. I get married at the end, so that'll probably be around the end of October. Okay, yes, and then we actually, um, I didn't watch last week's episode because that was the episode that was dedicated to my father. So unfortunately, after just a lot of health complications, Um, you know, he went to heaven. So he's resting, he's fully in a better place.

And I think that it's a really like what I am proud of right now about our show is that we did have a couple of scuffles, but then we all came together and they were all there for me and I really even though I didn't watch the episode because I wasn't I don't want to go through that right now, right, Um, all the feedback that I saw on Twitter and social was we really like seeing the way the bond is there and we come together for

one another. So that I think really warms my heart because you know, it's that's what it matters, what what matters in life? Right support from your family? Yes? Did I like that? Right? Well? I I just appreciate you being open and I'm I'm I'm excited. I'm hopeful for you guys in your IV because you have an amazing

doctor and they're a great center. And I mean I still talked to Dr Dancer and you know, I still send them a ultrasound pictures and even though it wasn't through them, but they're they're connected, you know, like they just they want to be a part of your life. Because after how any weeks do you switch to do they refer you? I still need well know so that when we lost the last five VF we got pregnant naturally.

Um the cycle afterwards, you got pregnant naturally. Wow, that's amazing. Yeah, it was great, but it was scary because we had lost like so many before, but we um. Doctor Danzer was like, I want to see you like on a weekly basis to make sure like everything's fine. So I think you switched around like six. Yeah, and don't read stuff online about when you can get a positive I read it already, okay, because I did it on the

four days post five day transfer. It's not accurate. Well, so it wasn't at the time, and I was like crying and Mike's like, what's wrong. I was like nothing, and I look back in the trash and there was like a little teeny faint line. But I drove myself crazy for the five days following. Yeah, what I read was don't try to take a home pregnancy test because it won't be accurate and it'll give you a false disappointment. Yeah, so they must have seen what how U been to you?

And then something for me, I think there's this other crazy girls like me. They are like the third day afterwards and like, am I pregnant yet? M J? What's your timeline now? Like where are you guys at when you do you know when you're going to implant you? I don't have the My actual calendar doesn't go that far. I don't know if you guys remember that. You know, you take the the progesterone towards the end and the the lupron, which is you know, like the estrogen shots

and all those fun meds. So every few days we do the blood work and ultrasound and then we find out if we're this far along and if you're uterous line and if I'm polyp free because I had to have two poll up surgeries back to back in addition to that false um the lining. So so at this point, they don't give me, you know, anything past a week. And then even though I really want to know, and I ask questions or like, just take it as we tell you, and they're like, it's it is hard, but um,

it seems to keep a very positive outlook. Yeah, you're very positive, feel very Yeah, I feel happy. I just trust me. I've thought about everything and I default to just being happy via condos, you know, count your blessings and that's where I leave it. So we're just like trying to laugh a lot. And you know, I have the most shallow um library of movies. Like it's all these comedies like Practically like Cannonball Run and like Bad

Newspairers and Overboard, like the really shallow stuff. Because I'm just being you know, positive and send offs for your best age and I'm just so happy because I've known the boyfriends of the past. Oh I love Tommy so much. That's another episode. So happy to found each other and that you're in the space and I can't wait for this future baby because you were the first person to hold Rocko and I can't wait to hold this little

or two bundles or three bundle joy. No way that my my girlfriends have six and seven month old children and they are like running around out of control. I was like, five months was so much easier because you know Jesse and Marissa. Actually, so it's actually gonna be like this, how has your pregnancy been. This one's been hard. My first pregnancy was hard too, but not as bad. But they say when you get older, your sickness, but

then it's all about your mom. Like if your mom had morning sickness and you then you're more prone to have morning sickness and she didn't, then you probably want My mom is like, oh no, I drove myself ten minutes. I gave birth four minutes. Like she makes it sound so simple. Well I feel like I mean like my mom too, was like yeah, she's like no drugs, and I was like, give me the epidurl, she's lying. They're

lying out it was so painful. The second my water broke, I was like, give it to me now and then and end up having C section. And now I'm going to do a C section. Everyone's like, why don't you do a V back? I'm like, because of you google v back and what can happen? Like, no, I'm good, c section already scheduled, can't wait? Can you tell me? Um are you concerned about because you were saying, don't read anything online? But so I told Dr Gair that I wanted to do a C section as well. And

I'm not even pregnant yet. That's that's honestly, we don't. We don't. I would say to like, to some of my friends that I would say, dos actually, don't pee yourself when you laugh, and you keep your regina intact so your husband can never threaten to leave you because everything isn't is still still there. So yeah, so that's perfect. No c section all the way, It's totally fine. My Actually, my dad was like, when you have baby Sesadian, it's like really okay, And so now I have my dad

and my doctor endorsing it. Yeah, no, no, we'll visit you. I'll bring you some and when when you're all setting done. Great, thanks for thank you for having me. It was fun. It was amazing when you're like, sister comes into work and you're like, isn't it fun? So much fun? Like besties best So I'm in there. I am. Oh, it's gonna be on Bravo. Unfortunately, got stop it my worst nightmare. Stop now we have to watch it. I would never know, seriously, if it wasn't MJ. I don't care if my sisters

I'm not going to say her name. My real sister was like had her own show and was getting married. I probably wouldn't wouldn't do it. When was the actual wedding, it was um like it was like in me, like I hate that she knew that. I got backlash for that comment because it really bothered me. Okay, but she knows everything. M J is more up to date on pop culture than anyone I know. She watches more e

than anyone I know. She knows everything. I just feel like they didn't take like what I said on the car like I just I mean, and there's something wrong with saying I just want to be done by thirty five. There's something wrong with that. Some people just digested they

digested the information differently than you were. Yeah, but I wasn't trying to say that any after thirty five is bad, not not at all, Like I'm just and but technically it is a geriatic geriatric pregnancy, and like the risk and are a lot higher, and that's just something for me. I've always been scared of of course, and then not that.

But if I if I wasn't pregnant, we still would have tried, even if I was thirty six or seven, so obviously, but it's just for me now that we've been blessed, you know, with the second one now, like I would like to be done. But they took it as like it's I'm not doing thirty five because it's geriatric. But I'm like, that's not what I meant. Many people

like to criticize everybody any little thing they say. I mean, we'll probably get twenty emails for me saying that it's that shaming, skinny shaming, old shaming, young shaming, slot shaming, like green shaming, purple shaming. It was like everybody is saying it, Well, there's all kinds of different things you have to worry about after thirty five. You have to have the am neo you have to you know, there's different levels of concern, so it's totally fine. Yeah, I know.

I just bothered me because women are like, you know, I'm one forties and I'm still trying. But yeah, whoa to you that's geriatric. I'm like, no to the guy metically that the medical Dictionary it says geriatric. Like and for me personally, I just want to be done, like not saying we're done done with kids, but like Michael and I want to adopt, like I just I and

I don't want to go through anymore miscarriages. It's freaking heartbreaking Emotionally, I just I want to be like, if we're blessed to have this baby come out and you know, God willing, everything's great, like then I then I do want to be done. But now, but now I feel like I have like the shadow on me, like something might have in now because I like, you know, I don't think so. One of the things that I'm crazy

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trial and your first audio book is free. Go to audible dot com, slash Janna or again text Janna to five five hundred Michael, Why you on your phone? I'm a businessman. Um, you were just on your phone. I know. I got a text a weird book. I got a text from I got a text from my friend who listened to the podcast. Wait wait yeah, a quotes the

friend the friend, the best friend. UM, well this start, I'm not going to do go I'm not going to go all into it, but some of it was Hey, So I just listened to your wine down and I was like, based off of it. I know you might not want to hear from me, but I which that makes me sad because I do want to hear from you. But I obviously want to apologize for not being there for you when I should have. I took a break from social media for a while. Um does that include texting?

Does she concluding texting and social media? Well, she just she does. I'm sorry for not reaching out when I found out. I'm at fault for that. I do miss our friendship and our talks, and do wish we could get back to a place where we talk more than once in a while. She says. You know, she had a hard time ruggling with balance in life once her kids came, which I understand, and then there was something

else that I'm not going to get into because that's personal. Um, but there was something going on, And now I feel bad because if I was a good friend, I would know that she would shut people out when something was wrong. You can you can mention that if you want what the other reason something, there's a there's a there's a health reason in her family. Oh, I thought it was you and me No, not because of you and me No.

So that and I feel like if I truly knew my best friend and I knew how she shuts people out, that I should have been that. Maybe I should have taken that hint and then reached out to her. But I feel like I was reaching out so much that I wasn't getting it back. So, you know, some of them like, well what could what can you do with that kind of I don't know, so but she says, anyways, I took what you said to her and will always support you whatever you do. I want to be best

friends again. Well you know what I think. I think this is a pivotal moment in this friendship, which means you guys can get on the phone and go all in or it now changes into a different type of friendship or an end. You have the reactions right, well, because here's the thing again, I know, you know she's busy. I'm busy. My girlfriends and national are busy. But I at least know what's going on in their lives. At least know what's going on, like it's more than just

like once of every once, And I don't know. I just want to I'd like I just if we're going to have friendships in our thirties, let's make it meaningful. Well, I think you need to you guys happen, so now I know, so yeah, maybe I'll give her, But yeah, i'll do that. I'll actually now that now that she reached out, which I appreciate, I I just honestly didn't think she listened anymore, Like I didn't know. I don't know. But maybe that's a good thing. When do you think, Mike,

I think it's a good thing. And I think this is where Yeah, and you guys went so long with just kind of not addressing the change in y'alls relationship, and you know, you assume there's something. She had her reasons, You had your reasons. Who knows what it really was. You guys didn't talk about it. So now it's hey, it's out there in the open. She's kind of told you out there to the entire Wine down Whine. I

was out there. Yeah, But I mean, you know, this is the moment to rekindle that and to go back to where you guys were, which was you guys could still go months without talking, but then as soon as you did, it was like you just picked up where you left off, which is which is totally okay. It doesn't mean you guys have to talk talk every week. I just has to get back to that closeness where it's okay and you guys feel comfortable in your friendship

not talking okay. It is absolutely no secret that Memma has been are obsessed with Hello Fresh, and honestly, even when Hello Fresh isn't coming to our door, we're still cooking what Hello Fresh wanted us to cook. The four Hello Fresh is so easy. It makes dinner time the most easiest decision ever, which is always the hardest in our family shows up at our doorstep. We don't have to go grocery shopping. There's no waste left over. We are obsessed. The kids love it. I love it. The

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sixty and enter Cramer sixty. It's like receiving six meals free or up to off three boxes. Now, well your emails if you'd like. Sorry, Mark, I didn't mean to talk over not at all. Probably my place. This is from Megan, she said, it sounds like you're the same issues I have. I'm the main one in my relationship wanting to have sex. I want it so much more than him. He's never cheated on me though he's thirty three. We've been together five years. We have a three year old.

We are not married. We do live together. I really want to be married. I barely get attention, but he works eighty hours a week, so I let it slide. He does little sweet things. He fixes me my plate at dinner, he brings my favorite candy from the store. I'm definitely the touchy feely type and any reassurance. I just feel like he's happy with how things are. But I'm not thank you for reading this. I'm a huge fan.

I'm meeting you in October where probably if she's a one tree hiller in Wilmington's because there's a convention that' um yeah, it sucks. I don't know what to say. Just talk to him, tell him how tell tell him, you know, tell him you need it more, tell him

you'd like to whatever word c bang me. Yeah, just just just say because here's at the end of the day, you know, I mean, you just you need you need that attention, and the partner needs to not be a selfish What would be the best, like Mike, we would be the best way for her to approach this with him. That's not going to make him head for the health. So thank you Mark for esking. My thought and opinion is, yeah,

she can bring it up to him. But again, if he's working eighty hour work weeks, he that poor guy. He's stressed out of his mind trying to provide for his his girlfriend and his child. So the last thing you want to do is stress him out even more. Where when he gets home it's like that's when it

feels like a chore. Where if it's like you validate, Hey, honey, I know you're working your ass off, I know you you're probably stressed, I know you're exhausted, but just letting you know you know where I'm I could really use some more US time, whatever that may be, whether it's sex, whether it's designated, no, it's called we call it now what intentional, intentional time together? Intentional that's nice, which naturally

will lead to right more likely. So yeah, just just just don't forget that he's probably working butt off and he's working this long hours and just validate that. But if you can carve time out to spend intentional time together, that will create a closeness that you think will lead in the direction she wants to go about. That's good ns and not light switches, ladies. Not all guys are just light switches. I like that he plates your dinner. That is nice, that it's really sweetened or train lindsay.

My dilemma is my boyfriend and I are both young. We're both twenty two. We want to take our big step and move into an apartment together in the spring. The issue is my mother. She's not supportive of the idea. She thinks I need to stay home on them out of school, which is five years from now. His parents are excited. The thing is great, take the staff, have fun. She always disc arges this conversation. My mom and never has an open mind when talking to me about it.

It's always inconvenience for her. I want her to be excited for us, but I feel like since I'm the youngest child, she's holding back because she moved out on her own when she was young and she really struggled. I'm not naive. I know that we might struggle. A lot of young couples do. But I don't want to wait until twenty seven to finally be an adult out of my own. I say do it. I think I

think it's will say two things. I think it's important to live by yourself before you live in moving with somebody, by yourself, by yourself. So I have a feeling, and sorry, lindsay love you, but I have feeling at this age you might move in with you, but eventually going to be living by your own, by yourself. And yeah, and and enjoy that time. And there is something I lived on. I would say, I could be the president of the Optimust Club. But twenty two, you need to live on

your own with a girlfriend, not with a boyfriend. You need to be experiencing your early twenties. Do not if you want this relationship to small town and they've been together forever, they're going to be together. But there's two issues here and there. There's moving in with a boyfriend, and there's a moving out and around they're kind of separate issues at time. I'm I am so pro move out on your own and get a taste of life.

You don't want to wait till you're the first time, because if your her mom wants to stay during college, that's the time you're You're gone. Baby, I love you. Get a girlfriend, don't move in with a boyfriend. I agree with her. I'm not. I just there. Yeah, that will not That can only help your relationship. Won't hurt your relationship by living apart. He gets to the place with a buddy. You need a place with a girlfriend. Release and they're saying sign here at lease. It's not

You're not committed to anything longer than that. Don't buy anything with like your friend or your boyfriend. Just lease a place for a year, both of you guys somewhere and then have fun there because that such a huge step already moving out of your house, so have fun. It's funny because this is not what she's asking. But I do think this is good advice that you got to get out from under, but moving with your boyfriend

might be a big step. We're giving her. The best advice are, Yeah, do it live on the edge with the girlfriend. So your mama drama just became live by yourself with your girlfriend. You're welcome, You're welcome. There you go. All right, Well that was fun. Um. Shout out to m J for coming in the studio in our sweet doctorage, for answering all of our hemorrhoid questions. I mean, she's a lightning around ourselves baring. She's awesome and I was

like trying to trip her up and she wouldn't. Going back to your one question, Yeah I know, I was like, she's squirrel. But thanks, Thank you guys for listening and for being my wine. Nos. Love you