Dancing with Intimacy

And I said, couples therapy today. And I just feel like Mike is loaded up and ready, Like I just feel like he is ready to just lay it down because there have been a few things that you have had brought up. And I was just like, oh, he is just gunning for me this one. And it was such a good episode. I was so well, you know, I lived my life in episode. No. I just thought it was such a great session. Yeah, it was. And in all honesty leading up, like earlier in the day,

I I felt a little like that. I felt a little locked and loaded. And that's why when we when we pulled into our theordy we went to our therapists house, and when we pulled in, you know, I wanted to really let my guard down, and I was like, hey, just so you know, because I kind of felt that tension too from you and I was locked and loaded no that you were thinking. I could just tell by your energy that you're just dreading this session. You're like, man,

this is not going to be good. Well what were you locked and loaded about? Because you didn't really come in guns blazing? Well no, I think as the day went on leading up to it, I was like, I don't. I was like, why do I want to go in this way? I was like, nothing's good, gonna is gonna come out. I'm not gonna feel better afterwards, and so I was just trying something different and it's like, you know what, I'm just gonna go in. And that's why

I told you in the car when pulled up. I was like, just so you know, I'm going to going in with the mindset the session to learn something about you and to be open, which I so appreciate. And I felt like I then reciprocated that with therapy. But I'm curious was something that maybe that you wanted that you were locked and loaded with that you didn't bring that You're like still kind of stewing, because I think

that's bad too. Know. That's the thing. I just I I tried to have a different method Uh methodology is that right? Eastern said a word. That's a word. I don't know if it's the word I try to I try to go about it in a different way and have a different strategy. So did you still express what you wanted to do, but just from a healthy way and not Yeah, not trying to prove you wrong, improve myself, right, it's just can you share what your therapist said about

the two different ways of doing things? And I think that's kind of cool for people that listen. Yeah. So you know, Janna and I have talked about it's a lot on on here, just kind of how we process things differently, and there's you know, I'll have feelings that come up. Is I'll give you all an example. Say we'd planned on going to a splash pad with the kids and I made up and I started to think, Man,

you know what, I'd rather not go. I'd rather Janna just take the kids because there's some things I want to take care of her at the house that had just been lingering. I just want to get them done.

And so I like future tripped and made up in my head that if I asked Janna that, hey, I know we talked about going to splash Pad, but can you just take them so I can stay back and do X Y and Z, I made up that her response would be like, uh um yeah, yeah, sure, yeah, I'll take the okay, yeah uh huh sure yeah I'll

take the kids, and which would be totally fine. But for me, my expectation of her would be just say sure, because that's how I respond typically, and so my expectation is so high where it's just like love languages, right, how you receive love. You'll love somebody else that way until you learn their love language because you're like, well, this is how I receive love, so I'm going to love them that way. So it's like making somebody else's uh,

making my truth somebody else's truth. So even though I would respond yeah, sure, no problem, she doesn't and that's okay. And so when she was if she responds that way, like the Jana way, I would take that personally and like, well, clearly it's an issue, because if it wasn't an issue, she would just say yeah, sure, no big deal, go for it. So I brought this up with my individual therapist and he hit it on the head. He sees right through me. I mean it just right through me

every time. And he talked about two different ways of the two different ways that Janna and I process, and he said, Mike, you're a delayed internal processor, for example, which that means I'll say, hey, Mike, do you an apple? And he'll go, um, do I? And I'm like, do you want to apple? It's like, it's so true and so and then he usually just forget it. I'm not bringing you one for or I'll just bring you one.

And it's funny. I use that example with Mark and so he said it just like that, and then he was like, now Janna, he's like, she's like an immediate external processor. So if you ask to Janna, hey, Janna, do you in an apple? She goes, um, do I want an apple? Well, there's only two apples left. If I eat one now, there's only one left for the As we have two kids, I don't know if that's gonna be enough of Jolly because she eats a lot more now and an apple sounds good, but we're not

gonna go to the story later. So but you know, we do have some bananas and they're going bad. Maybe I should have a banana, but but we have those mangoes in the first that you just cut some. You know, I'll just have a banana. And that's how Janna processes. She she mind mouth, she talks it out. She she she speaks what's going on in her head, how her head is processing. I don't. It's all internal. So it was just really an enlightening way for me to realize,

like her response isn't about me. It's not about what I'm asking being inconvenient to her. It's her just processing the change of what we had planned, which is okay. And so I just need to be able to sit in that and I'll be codependent around it and be like, hey, I want to stay home and knock these few things that you get me taking the kids. Bade her process that where she processes it, and then that's that. I do have a question, though, because I would because I

am an external one. Am I an external immediate I'm an immediate external processoral processor because I'm immediate sound like a freaking computer because I'm immediate external processor. And I say uh yeah, like and like yeah, yeah, yeah, I can take him. Is it okay for me then to go? What if I really wanted you to go to the splash pad with us, like it's the first time, Like I really want to spend time with the family. It

would mean a lot to me. I'd understand. I just want you to know I'm a little bummed or like do you like can you you know, like what's how do you how do you play that? Then? Yeah for me, you know that because I think it's okay to be like like bummed, and also like I really need you to like I really want us as a family to go. Yeah, it's one of those where you know, like Bill was talking about the other day in a couple of session, it's like then we talk it out on what is

more important in that moment. It's like, you know, you could say I still want you to get what you need right and like I hear like I wanted to fix some faucets in our house and replace this one in the bar, and like it's not stuff that's needs to be done right now, but it's the stuff that's been lingering that I want to get done. And so you know you could have if you just said, I would have said, like these other things I want to do, Like, I hear you, I know you want to get this done.

I want to get them done to But I was really looking forward to going to the splash Pad as a family. Would it be cool if like you still came and we've you know, carved out of time for you to do it later, that would be okay, And you wouldn't get bummed about that as long as I feel hurt. As long as you're like I hear you, I totally understand you want to get that done. I

get it. Instead of like going into a guilt trip of well, I really wanted to spend time as a family, but yeah, sure, if that's whatever, Yeah, then I would be like ever very was about did so what have I done wrong lately? You haven't done nothing wrong? Yo, Okay, I don't have anything nothing. We just had couples, we processed. I mean that was like the big stuff though, what

about the littles? No, I have no complaints. Great? Um, well, super excited for today because we have Cheryl Burke coming on the show, which, by the way, she's married to Matthew Lawrence. Remember the Lawrence Brothers, Like nineties heart throbs I remember being in the audience last year UM Dancing with the Stars and I saw Cheryl but I was like, like supery, but well it's like Cheryl and are like we're like homies. Like Cheryl, like you know, we did

the show together. And when I saw Matthew, I was just like, it's just the nineties star, you know. It's like when I ran into J T. T at coffee being, I was like tongue tied. I was like, it's gt G. I had teen Bop, tiger Bop, big bop whatever bopa boppers like and them all over my wall and Matthew Lawrence is one of them. Do I ask, Like I've never told Cheryl I had, like you know, but I'm sure like, hello, like what nineties girl didn't have her

husband on their wall? Is that? Do people still do that? By the way, like if posters question, I don't know, I feel like we wish on here. So I'm like, wonder if his daughter like had because I don't know, I'm like, did this do they do? They do they even still have teeny bopper whatever it's called big Bop. I don't know. I just I'm curious on the whole. On the whole poster thing. Do people do kids? I mean,

they gotta still have teen bop. But I wonder who the big bopper is right now there's no J. D. D. And Matthew Lawrence who was there? Geez, he's a No, I don't think he's I don't think we want him on our walls. I think he's a great artist, but I wouldn't want Jolie like I would want her to go a little younger. I was just saying that, like, oh, you know, great example. You know what I put on my wall right now? Deacon Reese Witherspoon's son who does the that new song it's so good. How old is

he's young? I think he's year old boy on our wall. No, I'm just saying if, like, if I was a kid in that age, he'd be my new because he's so cute. Look at Deacon Reese Philip and he's got that new look. He's got that new song long Run. It's so good. But I could see him like on Jolie's wall. You know, he looks like a little doesn't he, Dad Ryan Felippe Um, Yeah, no, what No, I'll tell you the side story later. They have to they've got like her look alike and then Deacon.

But anyways, I'm just saying, like I would, he kind of looks like Deacon to me is a Devin Sawa. So he was like my third runner up on my wall, Devin sa from Casper. When he walks down the stairs and like the song comes on, it's Alga, it's like your heart. The only person that knows his name, No, Casper, everyone else. I said that boy from Casper. Yeah. Anyways, I'm not going to tell Cheryl any of this. Maybe I will ask her what posters did you have on

your wall? J? T T, Devin Sawa, and Matthew Lawrence. But it was mostly j T. T. But it was from the teenybop magazines? Was Devin Sawa in anything else? Yeah? He had a few other, like smaller things. I mean, like you know in the nineties. I mean, I feel like Easton's very excited topping. He was in Final Destination. He's the guy from Final Destination. Did you see those movies? You're You're right, he is the guy. I say, I never saw any of those good They're they're a classic. Yeah. See,

I had like, did you have posters? I mean listen. I'm trying not dad talking about your college years, which the pin up girls? What I never had that in college? Really don't guys? Do you think like football players I had? I remember I had when I was a kid, Like Cathy Ireland was like the one woman I had up. I had like a Dodge Viper car poster. I had Michael Jordan's, Oh she's pretty, but look she's old. Well she wasn't old and ninety three, but I mean like, okay,

so okay, fifty seven years old. Yeah, well at the time she was like thirty. Wow, so I love thirteen year olds. Thirty year old? Who else did you have on there? I think she's the only woman I ever had on a wall. Yeah, random stuff that is so funny. I'm like she was she a model, like a swimsuit It was like a s I swim suit poster or something Eastern. Who did you have on your wall? He's like, I had blank Winnity two on my wall, And you

know what's funny, I had um. I had a post I got out of Maxim magazine on my wall of Brooke Burke, who now has a show on I Heart Radio. And it's been a very big moment for me. But um, I had Brooke Burke on my wall, and uh, I had that there was a cover of like rolling stone of Jessica Jessica Simpson with like a vacuum cleaner. I don't know if you guys remember that there was that post. I had that that went up too, But was that when she was didn't wait, Daniel, I need you on here?

Like have you did you have anybody? Oh gosh, mine's kind of embarrassing. Um I love him now that I like know who know him better? But I had Lance Bass on my wall like he was my guy. I had the doll, like the insinct doll. I had like every poster like I loved Lance Fast so much and it's like the nicest human being. I like, oh he's

so wait, that is so fun. So because I always wondered who was you know, who wasn't Like obviously Justin and j C were the biggest, right, So with that in sync grew, But I always wondered, like the people that went for Lance or the other two Chris bats true boys. So I always wondered, like, you know who who those people? Girls liked them not saying that they mean they were cute, but you know, it's like j T and j C. You know, were like the hot shots. But Lance, did it affect you when he came out?

Like did your little childhoodself? I guess I have the worst gaitar but like literally like this is not true and like everyone and everyone was like how did you not know it? Like I am shock, literally shook? Did you question your I mean did you just question your entire child entire childhood? I'm like, this doesn't mean anything anymore. But knowing that he's like the coolest and nicest person ever, I'm like, you know what, I'll still I'll still stand

by my my childhood crush. That is amazing. Who's is today? Though? Like, who do you think kids like today? I think you you have your hairy styles, your Shawn Mendez? I mean does BTS boys people love them? Yeah? Oh yeah yeah. I will say in sixth grade, Mike g easy, that should be on my wall. No, actually, post Malan would be online. Um, Britney Spears when I was in sixth grade, you could not do any better? Really? Well, yeah that was my girl for sure. That's awesome. I loved Brittany,

I mean I still love her. It to day now that I know her sister, and her sister is awesome. So I'm getting distracted. Bike what's wrong with ratchet eyelashes? Right now? They're like falling off. I'm just ficturing with like nails being like yo, listen here, sorry, I put enough glue on. Um look at and trying to like got these like the you know, the books coming out next week we're super excited about. We're doing a bunch of zooms and don't get mad at me. Um okay,

but I'm super excited. Cheryl Burke is coming up soon. So before we get to her, let's take a break and I'm gonna reapply my lash. Hey, I'm a J McClean and I'm Cheryl Burke, and I am Renee As I know who you don't know but you will know on our new podcast, Pretty Messed Up. He's the pretty. I'm the mess, and Renee's the up. He is the up. I don't think. I don't think everything, and if we do, you better not do it on camera. Yeah. No, I don't think we're fighting right now. Is this fighting that

we fight all the time? And yeah, we fight constantly. That's our way of communication. I don't think we'll ever fight, you know, even though we are very similar personalities, which a lot of times it doesn't work. I think, take off those sunnies. This connection, Oh you can blink. I have been teaching him also, not just a smile, but to blink. We doesn't look like a psycho killer when we dance live on TV. I can't wait for the podcast. There are so many stories about a j's honesty at

the wrong time. You know. Obviously a lot in the public has been said about me, my journey through recovery and sobriety, my ups and downs, my highs and lows, um. But there's still so much left that not a lot of people know about. And you know, I've compared myself to an onion because there's a lot more layers to me than anyone really knows about Funion exactly. I can't wait to do the podcast because I can just call him out and Renee can give me advice on how

to handle him. Sometimes because all I hear is the tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk talk talk, excuses, excuses, excuses, and careful Listen to Pretty Messed Up on the I Heart Radio app on Apple podcasts or wherever you listen to your podcast. That's right, sure. How are you a huge fan of you? Guys? I love your podcast. You're so sweet. I love you. I'm so excited that you're on here. Um. We just had like a massive conversation about oh my god, I missed the nineties. I love

the nineties. And who we had on our walls. Did you have a specific person on your wall in the nineties? Luke Perry rest in Peace was my jam. I think Mario Lopez was on there. Uh, and definitely anything in sinc Okay, so for no, wait, no, sorry, New Kids New Kids was New Kids? Yeah? No, New Kids was good? Oh man, who was the lead? Jordany night I had bed sheets, not even just post her. I was sleeping on his face. Yeah, oh that's space. That's why I forgot about him. I had. I had a thing with

Jordan McKnight too. Yeah, he was one of them. But I was curious how you felt, because I have to be honest. I had Matthew on my Wow, I did. I'm so sorry. I'll be sorry. That was so crazy. I had Ben Savage on mine. Fantastic, But I'm like, I wonder how that would make it her husband hanging on my wall and he would be so flattered. Well, no,

because I was saying too. I was like, you know, obviously, when I saw you last year taking Since the Stars, I'm like, oh my god, Matthew Ward, that's so funny. And I was just like I was like stanning over you, even though like we've met obviously before. But then I was like, oh my god, it's Screamer from Wine Down. Oh my god, you're hilarious. And we also dance. I mean, I was on your season when who did you dance with? Think, Oh my god, Ryan Locked. That's when we got like

bombarded on the dance floor. Yeah, that was so scary. That was really really scary. And everyone said that they thought it was a setup, and I'm like, I don't know if I don't get that, I don't think so. I don't think anyone's like that planned out. I hope not at least. Okay, Well, I'm we're super excited that

Dancing with the Stars is coming back. Um, I wasn't sure how it was all going to work out with you know, the pandemic stuff, but I'm so happy that you guys are dancing and you have a j Backstreet Boy. He was definitely not on my wall, but I know the songs, that's for sure. I think I was like a fan of Backstreets music, but then the dancing was in sync hands down. Well, so here's my question, because

I was more in sync too. Um, I mean, I'm now obviously more of a fan of Backstreetvoice because they continue to do music and you know their stuff is really good. And but are you a little worried that you might start singing like an in sync no one? The first of all, no one wants to hear me sing because that is like, honestly, even like when I mean I'm sobered out of what I used to drink, I wouldn't even carry obee, that's how bad. I won't

even sing in the shower because I'll embarrass myself. Does that make sense? Like I'm I'm I'm talking? Yeah, wait, how long have you been? So far? Fun? Almost two years old when we got engaged, So it's been about two years okay, because I remember we drank a little bit. Oh yeah, we were Yep. Sometimes I wonder if I should start to getting kidding, but like, yeah, what was

your decision to stop? If you don't mind totally. Um. Well, so my father passed away about two and a half years ago, and he was an alcoholic, and um, I thought for sure when he was sick, it was either going to go one way or the other. Like either I was gonna go like in hardcore and like check myself into rehab, or I was gonna just quit culturkey. But it was kind of like I promised, I just made to myself. I never I didn't even tell Mad

about it or anybody. It was just a decision. And I think subconsciously it was like I would start reacting to the alcohol. So like I started getting hives randomly, and mind you, I could drink like I'm half Asian, so like normally, like I never got the red Asian face, you know what I mean. Like ever, I was very proud about it, and so I could drink like I have a bottle of vodka and just be like mom sober, like no one knew, you know. Um. But then all of a sudden, I started reacting as soon as my

father passed away. And I think it's just the whole thing, like a subconscious Um. Yeah, so it was not It's not like I went to a a or anything. But I know that I have that. Um, I guess I have traits of an addict, you know, so um or I am an addict, I can say too, but like I I don't know, Um, I don't know. It's just a problem I made to myself. And I just feel like I never went a day without drinking. So it was important for me to kind of, you know, see

if I can do it, and I just stopped. That's awesome. Good for you. Yeah, has been supportive with that for sure. I mean, like Matt and I have a long history, right because we dated back in season when it was my season, my second season, Season three of Dancing and starts like twenty five years ago. It feels like met him through his older brother Joey Lawrence when he did

the show. Um, and so I back then, I was like it was a big blur because like I come from like the competition world where you're like an Olympian, right, training every single day, and then you come on a show like this, and yes it's rigorous the schedule, but it's not like competition worlds, you know, So like it was a get out of jail free card for me, and it was like I never went to college, so this was my college years here, um in Los Angeles,

just like going out seven nights a week. Um. Matt, you know, he was already in the business since he was a little boy. Um, so he already went out and he was done with that whole club you know, nightlife scene, I guess from when he was like sixteen seventeen, and I was like, oh, I'm just getting started, and so well it only lasted like six to eight months. I went out in hardcore for like ten years, and then finally I was like, you cannot pay me to

go out anymore. And Matt was waiting totally. And by the way, we broke up and we didn't even run into each other at a Ralph's, Like it was ten years like and we lived, I know, and then we just like, so, how did you guys come back together? Was it? Did you reach out? Did he reach out? What happened? My little sister like loves Matt, So she goes,

whatever happened to Matt? When I was like just you know, trying to date and it's kind of impossible here in Los Angeles, you know, so she's like, well, whatever happened to Matt? We love him, and um, She's like, give me your phone and I'm like, wait, don't you dare text him? And she texted him and she was like, merried Christmas. And then he responded right away and he's like, oh, we should have dinner. I thought for sure he was

married already. I had no idea, right, and then we had dinner and I was like, Okay, we're gonna do this then, right, We're not gonna waste each other's time, Like we're not just here to have dinner. You're like, I want to marriage, I want kids, I want also. I basically threatened him, and we got married amazing, familiar it happily. Ever, that's the only way, No, it's absolutely

that's Uh. How is he with with the dancing stuff and and and that I know just from Jane doing her season, how demanding it that is in the time, So like during the season when you are grinding out basically every day, how is he during that process and not being around you so much? I mean, I swear this is why we got married. He's just he gets it,

like he totally gets it because he's in the same world. Right, So when he back in the day when you shoot movies, right, you would like go out and go and travel and be gone for a couple of months at a time. And I don't think anybody would really understand unless if you're in the business. And he's so supportive and right now, like he got we have a new little puppy that we treat like it's a human, little human running around everywhere, and he's so he's so great, like he's gonna be

such a great fall other one day. So he's he's so supportive, makes me breakfast and make sure that I'm like healthy and mentally healthy. You know, you know how the show is gets to you. How do you How do you guys stay connected when y'all schedules because you can't. It is so demanding when both your other work and

doing that. What do you guys do to stay connected? Therapy? Like, Actually, I'm serious, because it's like you have, like I said, a time right, So I'm very like calendar or like I am just like to the t right um, and so I need to block out time and schedule it. You have to schedule. I think you have to be mindful of scheduling time to be together because honestly, every day your everyday life can just take over and you haven't even made eye contact. I love that. What do

you guys, like, what's what's your biggest struggle in y'all's communication? Communication? But else? Oh okay, so who's like what who struggles were? As? Like, both of you guys aren't good a communication? Yeah, I mean I'll take just as much fault. Sure. I mean, like it's not really a bad thing. I think it's good that we're talking about it right first of all. But then like he tends to hold in his feelings like a typical dude, you know, and I'm like diarrhea

of the mouth. So I'm just like everything I feel I have to get out or else it's gonna eat me alive. And then then I'll I don't want to cause like I don't want resentment to build. So it's like if I hold something in and I don't like say it right away, but then sometimes I'll react and my reaction isn't great, you know, So like I need to I'm learning now just to think about the actual feeling as to why I'm being triggered too. Then Okay, maybe I need to just like listen, I'm trying to

be a better listener and not just like react. Isn't that so hard? They're like not to react when you're in that moment. It's hard to just like take a second because you know and even like something. You know, Mike, we I mean we both worked on it, but like Mike too will be like if we just take a minute, we're not going to have like the big explosion. I know. Like it's just it's it's so easy to like it

so easily avoidable. But yeah, we have such a hard like it's like I black out, Janna, Like I seriously like I have this like, oh my god, it's like a crazy ass feeling that I feel like I have to say. I can't even either it's like me walking away, which is also something I shouldn't do right or like him then just like knocking on my door and I'm like I just need a minute. I just need a minute. But then like I get it, like I get both sides. I totally see it. Um, but it's really hard for

me to buy my tongue. But I'm really learning. I'm trying. I mean, I'm meditating twice a day now, and it's like it does help me, like just to chill. It is funny. I mean we Jane and I were just going at it was that yesterday, yeah, I think it was yesterday office. Would you say you're kept ching? Yeah,

I kept chirping. We were getting We kind of got on each other about something and it was a moment where Janna was able to compose and keep yourself composed initially, and I just kind of kept chirping away and we put our computer screens. We have desks that face each other, and we blocked each other with our screens the way by the way that you moved your computer so funny. I was, I don't look at you. And in that moment when I kept chirping and finally I stopped chirping,

I was just I wanted to plant my flag. There's no way I'm saying sorry, like I didn't do anything wrong, and just lettings go by, right, and I like start breathing. How different your thought is in thought process where Janna heard me like breathing, and she was like, are you ready say sorry yet? And I moved my screen. We had a good laugh. I was like, well, it's about to until you just asked me if I was ready say sorry, say like I can't. It's hard for me

to say sorry, and that's not good. It's my ego, right, So it's like I just like and when I do,

it's so listen, I'm super monotone. So when I'm happy, I'm like this, sad, like this angry like this, like I don't really like but he's so like animated and like it's like talking from his diaphragm, and like when he yelled, it's so like singing opera, like yo, man, chill, like I get literally like everybody in the neighbors can hear you, right, And like I'm just like this and so like and then I feel I'm like when you when he yells as a trigger for me, I think,

So then I'm like I just either stop or I like. But then I'm like deadly. I'm silent, but deadly, like I'll say some evil under my breath, right, I know you too, That's okay? Sorry, sorry no, but I mean no, but I mean the same. I mean, shoot, we've we've

all been there. I mean we we both have said things that we wish we could take that way, you know, because in those moments, you just your pain is speaking not the truth, you know, it's just it's just wanting to hurt because you and I think that's something that we realized to it and it's your thoughts. It's just your thoughts. It's like your own perception and reality of what you think it is when it's probably not what

your partner is thinking. Relationships, it's it's a lot. So let me ask you this show, going back to Dancing the Stars for a second. You know, you deal with having a new partner every year in that kind of environment together so much how I mean, just from watching Janna and Gleb and Janna coming home and bitching about Glad and being like you're such an asshole today and every day it seemed like a relationship like during that time.

So do you find yourself like with these people, you're you're in this relationship with them that gets you know, you get contested with each other, you get emotional with each other, you get angry, you get sad, you get okay.

So for me, it's like an arrange marriage, right, you have no choice unfortunately sometimes right, So it's like you're paired up with this person and I give this person and I've had twenty three of them, Okay, so I give them my feel, and it's like it's never what people first of all, it has no it's not like

as sexy as people think it is. Us dry humping like this seven days a week, right, Like it's not really sexy, especially because like, look, there's some men and I can only speak for myself that come on the show and hate to be coached or um. This is why I prefer athletes a lot, because as they don't care a man woman, they love being coached and that's all they know. So they're gonna just take the actual note, do it, and then think about it when they go

home and then come back a better dancer. Then you've got the emotional like actors, right, I'm married, I'm married. I'm married an actor like I love, but like sometimes on this show, like you have to be vulnerable, like

I don't care who you are, what you've done. Like, if you're going to come on this show, the only way to do this is to either make fun of ballroom dancing and like go full out, because you're not gonna look cool if you're trying to look cool, Like there's no way in hell, Like you can't make ballroom dancing look cool by like and this is like kind of like what me and a J are going through right now. I'm like, if it feels good, you're not

doing it right. So I don't know what to say to you, Like you have to act like an ask like you really do. Like I did this with Rob Kardashian because he had a lot of issues right when it was just his own insecurity or whatever. And so literally we would be on like the live show and I'd be saying the craziest at him, but it would

make him smile. It would make him just like exaggerate, because it's all about exaggeration, right, like if you have to actually distort your whole body in order for it to look good, right, and doesn't feel good at all.

But like with a hip hop dancer, like with someone like a J who thinks he has dance experience, which he does, and I'm gonna take that away from him, but it's almost harder to entrain the brain because it's like I need He's like he's also used to being down here, and I'm like, yeah, I don't see your neck and it doesn't look good. You've got to act

like you're like six feet tall. And so we're going through this all of these different like life lessons and then dance lessons, and then honestly, I am just like I lose my number between the hours of eight pm and eight am. Seriously don't want and don't want to hear from you. I don't want to even like talk dance because also I have to come home to my husband, like he doesn't want to hear all Dancing with the Stars talk? Are you kidding? So it's actually not that

sexy at all, actually quite the opposite. Yeah, And I'm like, and you gotta work alone, buddy, Like I'm like, you have to smell you from the moment you parked your car, because I think it's just rude. So how's it going between you and A J? Then that wasn't dark to the AJ is good at that by the way, a J. I'm just saying out of like that was a summary of all twenty three. But then let's talk about the positive.

So the positive is a J is great. A J knows how to take direction, like he's been working with choreographers before, and just like being able to be a team player, right because he has a boy band, right, so it's not just him, um, but he's really, he really is excited and obviously his uh boy band or mate, I don't know what they call each other up. Nick was on and so I think Nick may have scared him a little bit just about like how ruling the schedule is. But I was like, it has only just begun,

my friend. This is not even week two yet. I feel like it's so sad though, with the fact that there's not going to be like and I get it, but that the audience, because for me when I was on the show, it's like, the audience is what made me nervous, which what made me like really excited. Yeah, so okay. So I'm really good friends with Leah Remany, who did the show right, and she's like, I wish I would have signed up now, she goes, I am so jealous that you guys, because I think it was

the live audience for her. Um, but the nerves turned into like nerves, not like what you just said, like it was like a good nervous you know. And I'm nervous about it because I'm just like, oh, so we're gonna be dancing our hearts out, giant kicking like crazy, sweating our asses off, and then crickets like there's not gonna be like any button. It's gonna be like the rehearsal, like when no one was out there now, except we can't swear right, because like it used to be like

a ratedar it was like dancing with the stars at dark. Yeah, I know, I wish people could see their rehearsals because that's when just like you really see the true like couple relationship. So yeah, it's definitely revealing for sure. So the ballroom is definitely filled with like you don't see gaps, so it's a it'll be extra lighting. It looks like a spaceship. It looks crazy in a good way though. And are they are they testing you guys? Like every

few days? Is that? Like? What is what's the precautions for five days a week, Monday through Friday, no weekends from the spit test to the swab up the nose, which is not great, but you know what is better safe than sorry, So for sure. And I'm just glad that the show, I mean they always say the show

must go on. Yeah, I'm just I'm glad that. Yeah, no, totally, And I love that it's back in the ballroom because I think if I was like I was thinking about it before you know, we got officially picked up, Like, how am I going to do this into my living room? Like it's gonna look crazy? Yeah, so I'm happy they pushed for that. Yeah, No, for sure, I totally agree with you. Um, Mike, so you you're sending a package? Yes, yes, yes,

you got it so super. No, I have not gotten it yet, Mike, you got it on the breakdown right, the Bailey Blue clothing, your masks, right, your partner with them for your mask, tell us about that for I'm so I haven't gotten it yet, but I'm super excited too when there's six of them and my whole thing

was okay. So I even before the pandemic, I did a live stage show in Japan and I saw, basically long story short, I saw these beautiful Japanese women walking around with like designer purses and clothes, and then they were wearing a dental mask and I was like, wait a second, this is crazy, Like why are you rooting an outfit like this is definitely an accessory, right, And it's like you wouldn't be wearing a paper bag as a purse. So it's like you need to watch what's

on your face and like, let's just look cute. So I went to my agents and I was like, we should definitely come out with the line of masks. She thought I was crazy cut to you know, a series of unfortunate events obviously, and I was like, you know what this is meant to be, I'm doing this, And so I partnered with Bailey Blue and we created six

masks that basically you don't swallow. So like, I don't know about you guys, but whenever I used to wear masks from whatever company, I would hal exhale, cry, laugh, I would just choke on my mask, so just ruin the moment um. So we found a way to like still be CDC approved obviously, but then still have space between like the nose in the mouth area, so that bridge here, so where you could like inhale x do you mean like running a mask dance in this, and

you wouldn't be swallowing your masks. And then I was like, why not put some glitter too while we're at it. I mean that's I love that. I'm so excited because now it's gonna just like, yeah, I got you the rum By one. I definitely sent this one to that one. That's that's so pretty. Where can people on a Bailey Blue Clothing dot com Bailey Blue Clothing is a b l U yeah, or just be you Bailey Blue Bailey

Blue Clothing dot Com. Also, I bought you the drive the drive mask this is obviously it's named after the dances you see on Dancing with the Stars. And then this is a mirror ball mask. It's got like a bunch of sequins on it. Que Oh, you guys have to go to the website right now. It's so cute. That stuff is so good. And Mike, I got you the song one Aware Yours. Mike got you the song the one. I love that. Um, Cheryl, thank you seriously so much, UM for just being I I just loved

you from from the first second that I met you. UM. You were just always so kind and so sweet and just thanks for being open and honest and being vulnerable. And thank you guys. I love This is why I love listening to you guys, because you're so wait and you have a new podcast. To me and A J, We're like, well, I know it's gonna be called It's Me, a J and his friend, UM, and it's the three of us it's called pretty messed up. It's with my heart, pretty messed up. Okay, what is it going to be about?

So our listeners can go from this one literally, so the three of us are all sober, and we're just basically talking about our journey and us always trying just to wake up and be the better version of ourselves that we could be, you know, and and along that journey it's pretty messed up. So that I mean especially you know, I feel like you can relate to that too, and the journey. What I do have one question because I'm always curious since I'm like learning new about addiction, Um,

that journey? What? Because you said you don't follow a twelve step program, So I'm just curious, like how, like what was the decision to not because I know, like when Mike his twelve step program, it's like, what what's the difference in choosing to do that or choosing not to do that? Well, I I've never done a twelve

step program. A j is currently in the twelve step program, but like, um, so you know, I actually I went with I had my dance coach was an alcoholic, and I went with him to a meeting and I just like from then on, I decided just to be in therapy. Like I'm I'm constantly in therapy, right, So I've been

doing that for like ten twelve years. And obviously when I was a kid, um, you know, I went through some child trauma, UM, being molested as a kid, and so then my mom got me into therapy and then it was my choice of being here to Los Angeles to continue it. Um. And so I don't I don't know, I don't know like why or I don't know the difference. I just know that this has worked for me, um, and you know, I'm just taking it one day at a time. I guess, good for you, Cheryl, that's awesome.

And that goes to show, I mean that it can look different for different people, because you know, that's the thing, as you learn about through recovery and being sober, it's everyone's recovery can look different, and it's it is, it is customizable, um, you know, to an extent. I also love I love the twelfth Step program. I believe everybody should do the twelf step program, whether you're an addict or not. You know, yeah, right, really need to make amends,

don't we absolutely? Um? But Cheryl, seriously so proud of you. Love you. Everyone listening to podcasts, go to Billy Bailey Blue Watch Dancing with the Stars. Her and a J are going to tear up the dance floor. Cheryl, I love you, and um please don't tell Madam. I'm telling you, I'm playing. She's going to text him right now, absolutely to day. I love Its awesome, Cheryl. Thank you so much for coming on by Cheryl. I can see why

you love Cheryl so much. She's so sweet. I'm so proud of her though, that she's sober and she's living her best life right now with Matt and just I love that. I love that they're marital issues, that they're fighting for their marital issues, like obviously there's conflict like any other marriage, and they're going to therapy and they're working on it. And that's just so inspiring. And I think you should be on their new podcast. I'm just

putting that out there, Daniel. But I feel like this was an amazing show and I just, yeah, I'm excited for people to listen to. You know, I wanna end it with something very topical for this podcast. Oh let's hear it. So my heart dropped during the show because I got this random text message that popped up from some weird hotmail dot com that says, how are you there? From Catherine Dalina and my my heart dropped when it came.

And I'm sorry for triggers that come up around this and willing to do whatever we need to do to look into this, whatever you need around it, okay, but it's scared the out of me. Appreciate you bringing it to me. It sucks, like why are it, Like are

these people and why did they reach out? You know, like but so it's you know, as those of you who are avid listeners, remember you know where Jane and I handled a situation like this poorly just earlier this year, and where something came to my phone a spam picture and text mess and message similar to this, but this one doesn't have a picture, and you know I deleted it without telling Jenna because you know, my justification was,

all right, I know this isn't anything. Why trigger her or bring up past when I don't have to so, and I'm not gonna lie. When I got it, there's that that split second in my head where I'm like, I really don't want to trigger you. I really don't want to bring this up or deal with it, to deal with it because I'm like, because you're not doing

anything right. So it's just, you know, it's just it just sucks, and it sucks that I you know that I've done things in the past for for this to be triggering, but I wanted to do it on air because I mean, this is what we do, you know, this is what we talk about on this show, and this is as real time as it gets because I've literally got this during the show. Yeah, so, well, I

appreciate you bringing it to me. Does suck, does bring up certain things, but you're bringing it to me, you know, is the best thing you can do, you know, because that just shows me. Yeah, so thank you. Yeah. Well, guys, on that note, we're going to have a fight and I'm kidding. I totally getting no, no, I know, I super appreciate it. I swear I really do, so thank you of course. Can I delete it please? Thank you? Um yeah, so good episode ending with the bomb. But

that's the thing. Be honest, be real time, because in the end, it's so much better than him deleting it and justifying or not telling me. Um, be honest, communicate I love you guys, see you next week, later