Bad Influences

Wind Down with Janvick, Taylor and Michael Cousin and I'm on radio podcast.

Happy Monday.

Bo. Yeah, so I learned something new about Mike and sure we were on We were in New York last week and Mike leaned over to me and he goes, are you guys.

There, Mark, Yes, yes, we're here, of course.

Are you ready for this? So he leans over and he's just like, you know what just drives me crazy?

And I was like, what, what was it? I don't remember the Southwest? Oh yeah, I don't know why. It's just when people that are maybe not foreign and live in America and get onto a Southwest airplane or are boarding a Southwest airplane and they ask a million questions because they don't understand how to.

A situation on Southwest? What's that because you don't have an assigned seat? Is that the issue?

Yeah?

Yeah, and people it just blows people's minds. I'm a granted we travel so much, I mean, but it made me think. I'm like, when when was the first time I took a Southwest flight? Like my first experience? I don't remember.

I think I was super young when I took my first one.

But how long has Southwest been doing that.

That's actually a really good question. I don't know. I'm going to look that up. How long is Southwest? Mark? You gotta you gotta see how long I can take care of that.

Yeah, But you know a great thing about Southwest if I may, because I know some people are a little bit honked off yourself, like, yeah, they don't charge bag.

Fees, yeah, and for change fees for Southwest.

I understand it.

But I'm baffled by that because at this point, if they didn't know, what would get mad at them.

But they don't, and I love that.

You'll see they opened in nineteen seventy one, But when did they start doing the seat yourself thing?

I think it's always been seeing yourself? Maybe really I don't I think so, but I mean, obviously I don't remember remember. But it's funny though, because Mike said that if it was an American he gets angry at But then he said that he saw these like two Chinese people not knowing where to sit, and he's like, oh, well.

Just someone who's foreign who doesn't maybe isn't from America and it's new to them. I empathize with that, but someone who I guess and it's just wrong for me to assume that everybody flies all the time and should understand it. It's not just asking one question. It's just I experienced these these group are like three people the other day when we're flying back from New York that just asks like ten questions and just couldn't wrap their heads around it. And I just wanted to be like,

I can't imagine what questions two through ten would be, because the first question would be so I can sit wherever I want?

Yes, right, It's just funny what you get because like you can be very it's just funny what you get upset about. Like I think stupid people that are stupid you don't like, Like I think stupidity really bothers you, because I know you get a little bit more annoyed with me when I say things that are wrong or I say the wrong grammar, and so I think you it's just it's just funny because I think I think

It's all about my perspective. How is it view the world? If you don't view it my way, then it's oh, I'm kidding now, it's just one of those things.

I have an interesting topic. Well, I don't even know if actually I can talk about it. Why if you knew, Well, because I don't know who listens to the podcast, Like if it was someone that listens, and I don't want to be offensive.

I think you have to go for it now. Now, yeah, just genericize it.

Okay. Let's say there's someone in the neighborhood that has a problem child and they were kind of known from the last neighborhood for example, like lighting things on fire, vandalizing I mean to the point of like really gross stuff that would you know it is throwing rocks and then also I mean bullying kids, inappropriately touching younger children. And then you find out they moved to your neighborhood.

No, you can't do that. You can't they we don't have the power to.

I would never want a kid, but I'm just like, what, what do you like? Do you talk to the kid that's in high school? And I empathize and I want to be there, but also the things that I've heard is scary. They basically we were warned stay away, So it's do we make ourselves? Does he?

You know?

Mike was like, do I talk to him? And but I'm like, but I don't want him to get scared and then do something to the house or or bully. You know, our kids are young.

But it's just something to be aware of.

I think, you know, I feel like you were going to say something to the mom, which I was like, I don't think you should say. I don't know.

It's one of those I want to where my heart is. I want to kind of treat it as innocent until proven guilty, but the.

Cops have already been over there. They were already in. He was already in like one of the other houses.

Right.

I understand that I met he seems so nice, but when I I mean, my text for my friend was stay away. He is bad news. He's the kid that would potentially go into a school and do some bad stuff and that terrifies me for you know, other people, especially the other kids in the neighborhood. But I don't want to be that person either. I would love to be able to help, but then you also hear the stories when you help, they are also the ones that hurt you too.

So but no, it's just one of those things that you, you know, you want to have a we have a good heart about, but at the same time, ultimately you have to protect your family and your kids. So it's it's being able to be empathetic and helpful but also keep our kids away. I think that's where we have to stand with it. Yeah, we can be opened open to it, but are not with our kids involved.

You know, my problem is my I play too much scary movies in my head.

You did, I mean, you definitely go like worst case scenario.

I yeah, because our house is kind of like a fish bowl. We don't have really many shades. So when it's nighttime and he's gone, it's just you know that movie Strangers where I feel like I'm just gonna look to the to the all the open windows in the house and just see these faces appear.

Oh gosh. And that's why we're having an alarm and guns in the house.

And I know, but maybe shades. Maybe before you get the alarm of the guns, get some shit.

I ask for shades, but Mike says it's going to ruin the aesthetic of the house.

I put my foot down on that one.

I'm just like, give me some shades. I feel like I'm in a fish bowl.

It's great natural light.

I wonder if there's a way to tint the windows.

Yeah, don't they have like the you can bring the tinting down. There's like a sheet a tinted shade, or you just hit a button that comes out.

Even having the reservoir above the windows wouldn't look at more. Oi yo YOI I think we have some good emails we should dive into.

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Oh Halloween week? Oh yeah, what are we doing?

What do you mean? What are we doing? We just tried on our costumes, like we just but I appreciate the the surprise factor, but we can't tell people what we're doing yet. But again, I'm very much the family themed, so everyone, we're all about the family theme. So we're all a part of a princess fairy tale. We'll say that. Would you like to guess?

I would like to guess because one year right after Brooklyn, when my youngest was born, my daughter, my oldest was snow white, and I was Prince Charming and my wife was Doc and the little one was the tiny little dwarf was a baby, was dopey and it was the cutest. I'm going to send you that picture today because you will know he's beautiful. Yeah, I'm going to send you that. So I'm going to guess. Let me think you said princess fairy tale?

Is that what you said?

Yes?

Of course. Are you gonna tell me if I get it right?

Or no? Sure?

Yeah, think about this.

You get one guess though, since you're doing that one guess, you get one guess because you know, if not, you'll keep going. And then if we told you that, we're going to tell you.

That way right, Two boys and two girls? What? Oh? Yeah, okay, I got it, I got it.

Yeah, here's what I'm saying. Okay, Elsa vir Janna Anna for Jolee. Mike's gonna be uh what's his name? The guy with the donkey.

Spen Christoph, Christoph. Yeah, you're gonna be Christoph and then Olaf. That's the family right there.

Well you know what, I guess you don't follow us on Instagram because Mike was a seven foot ole off two years ago.

Sorry we were yeah, we were frozen two years ago. I ordered this off costume.

By the way, you still have it because I want you to surprise the kids.

No, I wish.

Remember we left in La John.

Walked into Jolie's classroom. That would have been so good.

I mean, I'll reorder it. Anyways, Mark, I found this costume from straight up from China, got it two years ago, sent to our house in La It was a legit, legit. I mean the head was like three feet high itself and I'm six foot five, so I was literally nine feet tall. Huge round costume, legs, slippers, everything. We go to Luca Lake to trick or treat, which you know it's crazy.

Place to go. Oh oh yeah, they're showing me a picture. Now, wow, you are tall.

And the best part about it, Mark, walking through to Luca Lake, I mean you would have thought I was paid to be there. Everyone wanted a picture with me. It was a it was a meet and Greek was a celebrity.

He was I mean everyone was high fiving him, and it was it was that will go down.

I mean it's hard to beat that.

It is real hard to beat that. But now I love that.

I know. Do you still have it?

No, it's literally it's humongous. So we threw it away in LA because we already did it.

You can't even have shades. I could you have a giant Olaf costume of that house?

Right?

I don't know. It's too big.

But it's gonna be fun though. Oh it'll be Jason's first Halloween. He's gonna be so cute. Oh, he's the best friend. He's almost walking. Hey Easton, what's up with the crocs?

Uh?

What's what's up with the crocs?

Yeah?

Well it's c October.

Is that a thing? Or is that a thing that you made up?

It's a thing.

It's it's it's a thing that croc Crocs made it up. But I'm celebrating it in a.

Really big way. Do you have Crocs on?

I don't have crocs on at the moment because I'm at work and I'm a professional and Crocs.

Are a leisure shoe I was wearing.

I've been wearing them a lot this month, though.

Well, I saw you hiking with them, and I was like, I don't know if you should be hiking with Crocs on I mean, I love Crocs. Jolie calls them her alligator shoes, but I mean, you've really every time I've watched your stories this week or this month, it's been c October.

Yeah, I've a you know, I was gonna do every night of the month. I was going to profile a different pair of Crocks for my collection, but I only have three. I ran out of ideas after day three. But I you know, I took it as a creative challenge and I've just been doing original Croc content every single day of the month.

That's huge.

Any fine heard from Crocs?

Oh?

Yeah, I've been messing with CROs. I've been trying to get Crocs. I don't want like money or anything. I just want them to know that I'm a passionate fan and I have some questions for them. Actually, I've been trying to get them to interview with me. No no answer, no answer. And then finally Ben Higgins from the Almost Famous podcast reposted one of my stories and Crocs came reaching out.

Wow huge, your celebrity.

Hey I'm just trying to spread the good word. Crocs are a comfortable shoe.

Hey.

Did anyone read the Kanye West story? By the way?

Yes? Yeah? Interesting?

What are hey, Tory? Do you want to give the brief rundown of what the article said?

Yeah, So basically it's him kind of saying that he's redirecting his life. There was a lot in the article about him like starting a church, doing a faith based Christian album, but his struggle with sex addiction has been something he's been dealing with for a really long time, and so he's been opening up about that and basically, I don't know, I just I think it's a really interesting article to hear that Kanye West, and I guess

Yeah, The thing is it's Kanye West. So I feel like anything he says kind of has to be taken with a grain of salt. Why because he just he says outlandish thing and outlandish things, and he just has is he still.

Running for president? Didn't say he was running sween twenty.

Exactly my point. Okay, So the fact that that even came out of his mouth, it's hard to take everything he says. And you know, if he claims that he suffers from sex addiction, then you.

Know that may that's such a that's such a big thing to just come out and say, right, I mean, that would be kind of It's.

Kind of like when Dax Shepherd said something about that and he said, I used to suffer from sex addiction.

He said that, yeah, well, if you're a sex addict use right, I know.

But and he's even I'm pretty sure he's in a twelve step program for drugs or something like that. But so it's I don't know. It's just one of those things that as someone who's open and out about it, it's frustrating at times because I feel like in situations like this, it's just it just feels thrown.

Around almost if they're not making it. Because when you say, like I use, when Dak says like I used to be a sex addict, that's almost devaluing what the addiction is from someone who has a big platform to be able to talk about addictions. So saying, like I used to, that means that you can just get over sex addiction, which that's not true. When you're an addict, you're always an addict, right, Yeah.

I mean maybe his not to make this about Dax, but maybe his thing was more of something else alcoholic drugs or something that was and maybe the sex aspect was just a product of that. So I can understand maybe someone folks seen more on another addiction if they if they qualify for multiple addictions. Okay, so I can

So it's just I don't know, do you think people can recover from sex addiction? Like when people say that, so, I think Jada Pinkett also, I don't want to misquote her. I believe she also said too that she had a sex addiction.

She had, I don't. I don't see how it's a past tense thing. It's an addiction, just like anything anything else. People don't say I was an alcoholic, right.

I mean, I agree with you, Yeah, No, So, I mean I.

Think that's just a little frustrating because again of someone who's trying to, you know, educate people out there that it is a real thing. When it's thrown around like that, it just feels like it's undermining it, for sure.

Yeah, And you're right about the doubt, and he might have realized, Okay, this is where the actual, the stronger addiction is, for sure, and that could have maybe played a part of it with the sex. But to say to say that, especially when sex addiction is still not a accepted.

Super socially accepted, accepted addiction.

Yeah, it's hard when known or talked about.

When people are just kind of throw it around, especially people in the limelight or whatever it's. It just kind of gives me a bad taste in my mouth because I'm like, you're not helping the cause, you're not helping anything. Because then next thing, you know, is it is it going to turn into some fad right you know where just nowadays people are more open or there's more you know, sexual controversy and headlines a lot with me too stuff and abuse and all this, and it's oh, well sex.

Addiction, And then you can say and then yeah, the part is saying like, but I'm not anymore. It's like, no, you still an addiction is something that you have to continue to work on because when you start to become weaky, I think that's what scares me. Two when people are like, but I'm in control of it now, well you need to have those steps right to be able to continue to not let it overpower you.

Yeah, I mean that's what that's my belief. If someone else believes that there's a cure to addiction, then okay, fine, but there isn't anybody that in any kind of twelve step program out there is going to say that anything else works other than twelve steps. No, one else, No one in twelve Steps thinks say anything.

And you're not more powerful. You're not more powerful than the disease or not at all. Yeah, because you may feel that you're healthy right now in this moment, but come if you don't practice it and practice the twelve steps, you're going to end up maybe falling back to the addiction for sure. Yeah.

And I mean some things may seem simpler than others to change about your life. I mean there's some aspects of you know, me being the program that are easier to handle than they used to be. But that's because I'm being you know, deeper and deeper into recovery. But it's as we saw with recent events, it's still there's still things looming that I have to continue to work through and you know, get by. So yeah, just I don't know, it's just again it's Kanye West. Who knows

So did he ever say anything about the twenty twenty election that he remember how he's made a whole thing about it.

I think he has it a while, you know, he said on E actually on the E article that he still has something planned, Like he's still planning his campaign, is what it said. So I feel like this guy has a whole family. He has what four or five kids. Now, I don't see him coming out and saying, hey, I'm a sex addict just to make a point and like be Kanye West. I think that's him kind of being like, here's where I was and now he's like starting a church.

And I just feel like.

Why are we Why are we trying to judge the way he's telling his story, Like it may not be on a podcast, it may not be in a sit down interview, but to him, this is him expressing something because he has like kids.

Again, you know, he's not going.

To just see somebody says a sex addict or is he says on a sex addiction from age till now having to kick the habit. It just presents itself in the open like it's okay, and I stand up.

For it, and you know it says he's more addicted to inspiration as much as he is.

In this set, I could have been like he.

Says he's addicted to porn and that could have been something that inspired his music and now he wants to change that direction.

Yeah, I think you know what I mean, How I don't know.

I'll at you because you're in a great point, toy, and I totally understand that. Again, unfortunately, because it's Kanye West, and because he's had periods of just outlandish comments and everything where it's until there's consistency, it's hard for me personally to believe what he's saying or that.

If I think what you're saying too is because of the sex addiction not being a very socially accepted addiction yet that it's just like, oh I was one and maybe I'm not now, which is not the true sex addiction. That's not right.

Yeah, again, that's fine if he's if he's saying he's changing his ways and all that, because he is a family man and he's a man of God and all that. I'm not questioning that. Just don't just don't throw something on top of it, and obviously it impacts me more personally. Don't throw something like an addiction on top of it. If you're not gonna take it seriously. And you're just gonna kind of throw it, oh yeah and just shake my life and uh yeah, sex addiction. But it was

Every time he talks, I say, wait what, so exactly exactly.

I don't know.

I'm kind of I think it was pretty cool for him to open up with it being the Kardashians, because I think that's a very interesting dynamic to have your wife be kind of a sex symbol and then have him open them up on that.

I think it's a very interesting dynamic. Yeah, I'm just more curious to understand the what he meant by either he was or he is, because I think that's that's the big difference. And that's where I would have more of an opinion too, because I do know that, like you have to be in the program and working it so to maybe hear more on that. But again, it's his how he shares it. And yeah, let's try to get him on book. Sure, Yeah, we're got that.

We'll have a talk with tell shre heally we need to hold off. We we're gonna get Kanye West said, all.

Right, well let's take a quick break and do some emails. Yes, do all right, Mark, We have any emails.

Got some good ones this week. This is from V. She's wondering if she's a bad person, and he hears why. I'm separated and single and I've been seeing someone on and off since my separation.

We've been intimate.

I'm starting to grow feelings for him, but he's technically my husband's cousin by marriage, not a blood relative, and my husband's cousin by marriage. I feel like I'm doing something wrong by seeing him, But at the same time, I like spending time, and the time we do spend together is wonderful. We get along great. I'm smiling the entire time I'm with him. Am I horrible for continuing

Or maybe I just see where things.

Go wait time out. Is she married still or that's her separation.

She's not divorced, are they?

They're separate, but they're getting divorced.

She did not say that necessarily.

In my opinion, this might be the the not the popular opinion. I think you should wait until you get divorced, especially since it's a family person. But I think you like who you like and if the.

End day, of course it's okay to date your ex husband's cousin.

I'm not saying it's okay. I'm saying I think it's okay to like who you like and your feelings. You know, that's just like I mean, look at Shanaia Twain is married to her best friend's husband and they swapped basically husbands. When you're so close with and I'm sure there's so many times when someone has fallen in love with their brother, their their husband's brother because you're so close with them, you know them, you get them, you have this connection.

Who I'm trying to I'm trying to do the family tree here. A cousin for a cousin by marriage, So let's talk that out.

Hmmm. That's a good point.

Because I would think the way I would the way it sounds to me, is that it would be Okay, it's his cousin's husband or something. Right, So right if unless he's married and having an affair with with her, the one who emailed us, how else would it be his cousin by marriage?

It could be his cousin by marriage.

See what I mean.

It's confusing, and there's such a thing as.

You know it would be.

It would be like if if my cousin Eric, it would be his cousin through marriage.

Be Jessica, Right, That's what I'm saying.

So like you dating Jessica.

But but Jessica is married to Eric. That's how she's a cousin.

Maybe they're separated and get a divorce, might see my point here, But we don't know that backstory that's true. Can you mean us again next week?

Yeah, we might need some more information on this, but also more information. I mean, the heart wants what it wants is a very convenient excuse the people for really horrible decisions, right.

But.

Yes, and it's also the heart is something you should always listen to.

But you know, there's so many questions you can go so deep with this is okay? Is the attraction to the cousin by marriage? Is that maybe part of what causes separation without the husband knowing, you know what I mean? Like why are they separated? Are they in agreement that why they're separated that they can see other people? Are they living under the same roof? Like, there's a lot of questions to know.

How close is your husband with this cousin by marriage, because some cousins are like brother and sister and some like I have cousins, I wouldn't know if they walk past me on the street.

Oh see my first cousins there, they're like my brother and sister.

Same. Yeah, we're very close first cousins. We both grew up the same way, where like our first cousins were like our siblings.

Yeah, because the street.

Yeah yeah. So there's just a lot of questions here on what to know. I think ultimately, again it's it depends on if you handle this situation with integrity, then it doesn't have to be that bad. So again, if her and the current separated husband under agreement of what they can do, what the boundaries are right now while they're separated, if when they do get divorced, she doesn't be sneaky about it, and she explains that this is the person that she's seen.

So I think it's also a female thing too. And we always said this in our relationship. If I was ever too cheat, it'd be some close to us, right, because I'm just that emotional that I'm more of an emotional cheater, if that makes sense.

I think that is more of a woman thing and guys, at least from me maybe, but for me personally, that would make me uncomfortable if it was somebody that we knew.

Mark, all right, this is from Callen. I'm super close. This is actually actually flows nicely from that one. I'm super close with my parents, my brother, my extended family, cousins, aunts, and uncles. My fiance is from a broken family and only talks to them a few times a month. I talk with my family multiple times a day. We've been living together for four years. I moved across the country with him, and now we're engaged. He still he still

He is.

I'm absolutely in love with him, but I don't want to change the relationship with my family to prove it.

I don't think she has to.

She shouldn't.

No, No, just include him. So if you're having family this is something that I'll say, you know, if they're having family group messages, just include him in the text message, include him in the family messages. And I think that could help him feel a part of things. I know it always a part of things when i'm when you know, your mom includes me in the messages, and probably vice versa. We don't really do group messages on my side, but you know, I think that would help maybe that situation.

No and just to and just I can understand his insecurity because he doesn't have that relationship, so.

It's probably more to interface.

It's foreign. It's foreign to him. So if she just continues to include him, like janas saying, then also reassure him, hey, you are my family, You are a part of this family, like this is you know, everybody loves you too, or just something to kind of make him feel better or more comfortable around.

It, but also to have empathy for what he doesn't. He didn't doesn't and didn't have too, so to be like, you know that must because I think that's more self reflection on his part, while he's maybe projecting it is because.

He didn't have because he's insecure about it. He didn't have it. That's and yeah, and for he should definitely try to embrace it and maybe change his mindset. Because for me, I know, just even from dating people, you know, as a young adult or younger person, I always knew I wanted my future wife to have like an awesome family. So I wanted great in laws. I wanted I love spending time with my significant other. And so like Mary and Janna, I like hit a home run with that

So if my family sucked you and married.

Me, no, I'm not saying that. It was just definitely something that was important to me that I wanted to be able to have in laws, not just in laws, but in law family. Yeah, a fun family that enjoyed things, and I mean, we have so much fun every time we get together.

Yeah.

I have one more, really juicy one about infertility. But before we do that, tell me about no because I'm excited to have them on the podcast. Some are calling at the Amazon prime of high end jewelry.

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Can you wait till I do one more email? And then oh yeah for Jordan.

Absolutely.

This is from Christine. My husband and I've been married for almost three years and together almost eleven. We've been trying to get prgened for a year and a half. After the year mark, I'm thirty one, we went to a fertility specialist. He had a semen analysis and I had an HSG and several other tests. The results came back that I'm good. His overall sperm count is good, but the viable sperm are very low. So we've started talking about artificial insemination, but he doesn't want to go

Oh well, that's awful that the in laws are pressuring, especially when it's already such a stressful situation to begin with.

Yeah, it's unfair, Michael.

Let you speak on this because I know that you had a tough time with all of this.

I mean I personally didn't have a tough time.

You did with the playing like God and stuff like that.

Oh yeah, well yeah, but that's also because my account

That's more.

Is that what they're talking about doing or is it just like turkey based?

I think both.

So what I didn't like about the IVF thing is when they took one individual sperm and injected in the egg. I liked it where they basically put a syringeful's sperm in the petri dish with the egg against like let the best man win. I didn't like selecting one sperm. That's when I felt like it was playing god because the sperm that was supposed to go maybe wasn't that one. But with if it's just still you can still artificially inseeminate by not doing that. So I don't think that's

Mm hm, I agree.

So, but it's right, he's going to feel like a failure. I think that's what he's going through, is the feeling like a failure. And if you do the art insemination, you've given up, like it's like so many people surrendering.

So many people have to though, and so hopefully he can get past that to know that it's not just him that deals with this.

Well, everyone's going to know. If you guys have a baby together, you don't have to announce in the birth announcement that she was done via artificial insemination. No one has to know that except you and.

Your wife, right, And I bet the statistics are a lot higher now too with people that have to do that. Sure, Oh definitely, it's not like it's probably close to fifty, I would think.

And I think what he needs to also maybe to help his mindset is to realize, well, like for me, I would rather it be me than Jana because the women feel so much pressure, right, because that's literally like what women maybe think they were put on this earth to do was to bear a child. Right, So I can't imagine the height and emotions that a woman may feel if they're not able to be fertile and have kids. So as a man, it's like, I'll I'll take that

I mean, I was super off on the percentage. It's only two percent, but still I think that's still two percent.

Is artificial insamdation.

The and the centers for Disease Control and Prevention reports about four million births per year in the US, meaning one to two percent of all US berths are in nually, are or are via IVF.

Really wow, that seems very.

Shockingly low in my opinion.

But yeah, but there's also like three hundred and fifty million people in this country. So think about the two percent of that, and then it takes us back to the other one. There's three hundred and fifty million people in this country. Maybe you don't have to date your husband's cousin wait to bring you back. There is love.

Love is love. Oh what a good note. I love you guys. Happy Halloween.

Be safe out there.