Wind Down with Janet Kramer and Michael Cosson and iHeart Radio and People's Choice Award nominated podcast.
We got the nomination down there.
What is that gonna stay there for years to come? In like three years? Nominated back in twenty nineteen.
For the wind Down. Yeah, I mean that would be nice if it said Wine Doown winner, that would be great. Hey, speaking of Wine Down, we are doing a Wine Doown tour and we are going to Atlanta, Chicago, Michigan. I don't know why I always have to sing Michigan because it's my hometown. Nashville, Philly, Philly, Maryland, Maryland, a few other places, Louisville, Louisville. So get your tickets because we're gonna sit down. So people keep kind of asking, like,
what's this live podcast thing about. It's not really a live podcast. It's more like an evening with So we're gonna sit down, we're gonna talk, we're gonna play games, we're gonna have fun. My girls, Sarah's going to be there with us, and then we'll have some surprise guests along the way.
We interact, we interact questions, we ask questions, we bring people up on stage, We uh, Jana sings at the end of the.
Yeah, I sing like a forty five minute hour set. It's just a lot of fun. So we really want you guys to wind down with us. Go to Janacramer dot com or Ticketmaster to get your tickets, and then we also signed to at the end of the show, so it's really fun. We get to meet all of you guys. And if you want to go to an actual live podcast, Ben and Ashley are actually doing one too, the Almost Famous Live January eleventh at the Palace of Fun Arts and sin fran So get your tickets on
ticketmaster dot com for the Almost Famous Live. So super fun. You know, it started to really take off those events. Even I was talking to the scribbing in girls because they're they're wanting to do that too, and I think it's a I think it's really cool. I know Dak Shepherd's coming to Nashville soon, which I want to check out.
That's about the competition, I know.
Well, I wonder because I know it's a live podcast, but we don't record ours, just because I feel like if it was recorded then it was like people would be like, I'll just watch it on YouTube or listen to.
It and our outlook is people want to come see something that they can't get elsewhere.
Yeah, so that's what I'm just I'm just curious, like if are they all and when they say live podcasts, is it actually can you listen to it on the show? I don't know, Yeah, do you.
Know, Mark, I think it depends on I think it almost famous will be a podcast you'll be able to download. I think it varies from show to show, but I think most of them like to do that. They like to kind of double up, you know. They they did the show and then they record the show and then there are podcasts that's done for that week.
And I can see the entry on that too for people for audience members if they you know, if the podcaster interacts with the audience like we do, and they get to go back and listen to themselves interact at the you know, evening with on the next week during the during when it aired. But that's not what we do.
Well, if they want to see that, then they can go to Tully and download the Telly app because that's kind of a little version of that. We have a show called in Perfect Harmony that we're doing too, So that's really fun.
So just lots going on eighth Central.
Look at that, babe, So excited for the show.
Today.
We have Gabrielle Stone coming on and I actually met her mom because she played my grandma in the Lifetime movie that's coming out November seventeenth, Dee Wallace's daughter. So she's got a book out that's out called Eat Prey hashtag FML and the very crazy story because I actually I was talking to her mom and I had no idea who Gabrielle was the time, But then when you started talking about this guy that she dated, I was like,
oh my gosh, is your daughter Gabrielle? Because I knew all about Gabrielle because the acts told me, and you.
Knew Gabrielle's name.
Yeah.
Interesting, but you didn't put.
Too never put two and two together ever. So it's just it was like, so stay tuned to hear it's interesting.
Yeah, gabrielle story is very interesting.
It is. So I'm excited to talk to her and sit down with her later and then drink a lot of wine tonight with her. Yeah why not? So what's new in your world, Coffin?
Oh man, we have a lot coming up the next couple of months. So really everything I have going on, you have going on. This week, we've been surviving without a nanny.
Yeah, that's been that's been fun. But also I feel like it's doable too.
It is it is. I mean, you know that signs spoiled or we're fortunate enough to have a nanny that we love and that you know does a fantastic job, but it's it's I will say I'm impressed with how we've handled it this week because there's been a lot. It takes a lot of communication, right to be on
the same page. And I feel like any relationship, and us especially, you just kind of anticipate or expect the other one to know your schedule, whether you put it in the calendar or whether you talked about it two weeks ago, and expect the other person to remember. I feel like we've done a good job at staying on top of this week and expressing what we needed. Now, maybe we can carry that over into weeks that even when we do have the nanny, right, it would probably be helpful.
Yeah, because I feel like there's a lot of times it's like, hey, I have this at ten o'clock, I have a call it's very important, can you take the kids? And if not? Because most of the time I would never say anything, and then I would just get mad at you for like, don't you know that I have this thing today at ten? So I would like unfairly get frustrated with you because I would figure that you either looked at the calendar or like that I had
to work. So it's just I think naming like what you have to do has been.
Helpful for sure, and I appreciate you are challenging that. Which part the fact that you understand that you don't I have in the past, I mean, done that, always do that?
Oh yeah, yeah, well I've definitely feel like I've gotten better at it. It's like ask for It's like, ask for what you need. But the problem that I have a hard time with because I remember talking to my therapist, She's like, ask for help, but I'm like, I have a really hard time with that because it's like when if you ask for help but then they don't really do it the right way or they don't do it. It's like I don't want to have to ask you to do the kids laundry. I don't want to ask
you to clean up the stuff in the back. I don't want to have to ask you to do those things. But then it feels like when you're doing everything, so it's like how do you because I'm like, I would just think that you would help with those things, right, and then we have our duties and you have yours and I have mine. But then it's just you know,
So that's where I have like a hard time. I have a tough time with that because I'm like, what's my role and there's your role, but then also asking for help and like when to ask for help?
Well, and that's where I feel, you know, sometimes where you maybe you don't take something as your role. And I think we split things pretty evenly, like it just kind of goes We'll like a seesaw kind of goes back and forth because we both have done like everything that is required to whether the kids or dinner or stuff for us or whatever, we've both done those things.
But I but I do feel like sometimes when you do do something, maybe like even though you're doing it, your first thought might be, well, why do I Why am I doing this right now? Why don't I do this? And I'm like in my head when I when I do something, I just kind of do it because it needs to get done. I don't necessarily think, not, well, Janel should be doing this right now.
And that's what you think.
I'm thinking, mad, That's I do. That's what I make up. I make up that because at times, not often, not always, not none of those pronouns. At times you make it. You'll make a comment about the laundry or something or whatever after you had just completed that task, and I'm like, what, okay. In my head, I'm like then the whole time, you just sit there. Anytime you do something, you think, why didn't I do this already?
No, I don't think it. I can see how you think that. I don't. I don't do that. I just have a hard time with you know. I just I wonder the timeline sometimes and like do you see the laundry filling up? I'm like, would you ever get it? You know, I've talked I talked to Leslie about this a whole time. It's like even her sons, it's like they would probably buy new underwear before they ever clean their underwear.
You know.
It's just and like the same with like Chris, I'm not faulting you. I'm just really just trying to bring up a topic of discussion.
Okay, this is a great topic though, because I do ironically I have something to bring to your attention.
Okay, so.
Last week I had a poker night.
Okay, okay, you took a bath I did.
You had wine.
I was still drinking it.
There was a wine glass on the edge of our bathtub, in between where the two twel racks are that I saw sitting there for a couple of days, and I said, you know what, I'm going to leave that and see if Janna picks it.
Up, oh a little game.
After a few days, I said, you know what, I need to at least move this glass so someone's towel doesn't knock it and breaks and shatters all over our bathroom floor. So I moved it onto our counter.
I didn't notice that in.
The bathroom in between our sinks. I left it there for another two days, still did not move. So today I finally said that's enough, I'm just going to move the glass. I didn't say anything. I didn't bring it up. I just moved it, put it in the sink, and put water in it to clean.
I didn't even notice the glass.
Okay, and that's okay.
Yeah, I didn't notice that. I remember having it, and I remember putting it there, and I remember being too tired to go put it in the kitchen, and I truly have I totally forgot about it.
There, right, And so when I knows, two nights ago, when I let the dogs out at night and they're chewing my paintbrushes, I said, you know what, I'm too tired of cleaning that up right now, I'm gonna deal with it before the weekend.
Oh, it's so funny. It truly is funny. Though it really is like a double standard.
Yeah, I appreciate you admitting that.
Yeah, I do. I can admit that full circle.
I feel like there's a lot of relationships out there that are like, yes, yep, you're.
Right, double standard. Okay.
The way I've always looked at it was like that kind of like in basketball, like shot attempts versus baskets made, because like Allison is just drained in threes all day long in terms of keeping the house together, and I'm I'm not even taking a shot, you know, And like so when I do and I miss, then it's like a bigger deal because I was like my one chance to like keep this place clean, and I left my backpack on the floor again, and I think, you know,
and I see there's in there's an imbalance there in terms of like stuff being done around the house.
And uh.
And then I go into the whole. Well, I make all the money, you know, and it doesn't matter. It's it's our house and we should both be working equally to keep maintaining.
Is that what you say?
That's one hundred percent.
What I said.
What did she do?
Uh?
Well, she says that's you know, that's true, But that's not fair for you to say because because it's not you know, and uh, And that's an art that's a place that I like fall back to sometimes, uh, because I feel guilty about not doing more stuff around the house.
And that's what and that's what it is.
And that's maybe getting defensive and you know and being motivated by shame. But I see there's a problem.
I'm working on it. Yeah, No, I totally get that. And I mean I think there definitely is something to be said for that. And you know, like in our relationship, I'm not the breadwinner. But at the same time, like I can understand why in relationships like if I gave Janna all the time for stuff, whether around the house or anything else, it's like, well, I'm doing something here, you know, I am doing something to do. I don't want to have to remind you, but I do pull weight.
It may not look the same as you would like, but you know, so I could definitely see how that would be aggravating.
I mean, you know, again, it should be equal no matter who's pulling.
Right, And we do honestly for opposition, we do a fantastic job.
Yeah, we do.
We do a great job. I mean, there's plenty of husbands that I know that don't do half as much as you know what we do together, right, you do, so, Mad, Mad props always for that. October is a giant month of travel, and there's some things that I'm doing just for the paycheck. And you know, I hate to say that, but you know, because I'd rather be home with the kids, and traveling is just like to be away as much as I'm going to be in October, It's it's already
like stressing me out. But I know that I have to go and I need to make the money, and you know, for the family. And Mike does a really good job of at least appreciating that, and we'll text me and say, hey, I appreciate the hard work right now. And sometimes like that validation is like okay, like yeah,
let's get on this plane, let's do this. You know, so I don't know, like I do personally, I like that appreciation because I know that, like he's not taking it for granted, that he knows the sacrifice that I'm making because I don't want to be away from the kids ever, which is why I'm trying to, you know, smuggle the kids into New York when we have a New York trip later in October. So and he's like, well, I don't want to take him, and I'm like I do,
and I don't. I'm going to be gone so much this month and so, but yeah, it's interesting.
Yeah, I think that that appreciate that appreciation is important. I appreciate your acknowledging.
That you appreciate you appreciation. I appreciate you because I do try.
I do, I do try to make a conscious effort because I know your personality. I know you don't want to and my person and audi not that I want to be away from the kids more than you. Do, or I care less than you do. But my mindset maybe this is just a real thing too. It's like, all right, this is my job. I gotta get it done. I gotta go. End of story where I feel maybe
this could be a generalization women. Maybe because of the mother motherly feeling, You're just like, no, I don't want to leave at all for any reason.
Yeah, I hate leaving.
Yeah, I know you do.
I hate it because then I'm like, my kids don't even know me. It's like we just spent and I'm really like, I see them all the time, but it's just those two three four day trips that just kind of eat me up back to back. But it's all good. Okay. Well, in other news, Sarah's here and also my friend Gabriella just pulled into so let's get them on the show. Okay. I'm really excited because I know I just because so I had the pleasure of I'm going to talk about you like you're not here right now.
Okay, cool, I'll wait.
I had the pleasure of working with our next guest Mom on Christmas in Louisiana, which is premiering November seventeenth. Don't laugh, Cruise I'm.
Laughing at Christmas and Louisiana.
Yeah. I was on a Lifetime movie Christmas and Louisiana. It's always on late day movie.
Yeah, Lifetime is lit. No, I love it, but I just I don't know.
I don't like especially Christmas.
Oh yeah, I don't like to like you known. Okay, here we go.
Janna's in a movie that's coming out November seventeenth on Lifetime.
Christmas and Louisiana, Thank You, with d Wallace, and I had the pleasure of working with her, and she's she kept telling me about her daughter and about her book because I was kind of sharing my story with your mom and she was just like, oh, my goodness, you know you and my daughter, you guys have so much in common. And then I got your book that second I amazoned it and it was called Eat Prey hashtag FML, and I was like, oh, she's already my best FRIENDECT.
I love her. So everyone welcome. Gabrielle Stone, Thank you, Thank you. I love your book. Thank you, because some halfway through I haven't finished it yet, but what I love about it, and this is what your mom told me too, was she was just like, you had offers to do a book deal with other publishers, and you were like, no, like, I'm doing it my way and this is how I want to do it. And I love that because it shows too in the book, like your your voice in the book is just like this
is this is it? You know, and you didn't like hold back on anything. I think maybe people would be like, well, maybe like ten, like go sus softer on this note or yeah.
And that's what a lot of the bigger publishing places wanted to do, is well, maybe we should tone it down, maybe we don't write about like this bad situation. And that felt so inauthentic to me. And I knew that when all this stuff was happening to me, if I was going to share it with the world, it needed to be done in a vulnerable, true, authentic way, and the best way to do that was to just kind of keep control and do it by myself.
What inspired you to share it publicly?
So for a little backstory, I was married for almost two years, found out my husband was having an affair with the nineteen year old for six months, filed for divorce, left shortly after that, met a man, fell madly in love with each other, was like a whirlwind romance and convinced me to go on a month long trip to Italy with him. Forty eight hours before we were getting on a plane, he told me he needed to go by himself, and I was absolutely devastated, broke my heart
like my ex husband never could have done. And I was like, well, I have a decision to make, and that's either stay at home and be heart broken or go travel Europe for a month by myself. And I was like, well, good, I'm gonna go. So to answer your question, I knew the second that happened and I decided I was going to go by myself, that I was going to write about it because it felt like I was going to move. I mean, my friends would call me and be like, what's going on this week?
In the Netflix episode It's Gabrielle's life, like it was ridiculous, one thing after another, and I knew that whatever I was going to learn at the end of this experience was going to be really powerful in a healing way, and I wanted to be able to share that with the women and men of the world. That actually had a lot of men reach out to me after reading it, which has been really cool.
That's awesome. Yeah, what with your first marriage. You know a lot of people have talked to as Jane and I like why do we stay?
Yeah?
Why were we willing to work on it? In your situation, how did you know? Like why'd you know I'm gone? Period? Yeah?
Which is so interesting because I've listened to this podcast with you guys talk and it's I was so excited to kind of like compare everything because my situation was drastically different we my ex and I I was not in love with him. I didn't realize that until I met the guy after that and was like, oh, this is what it lopposed to feel like. And I think I married him because he was safe. I come from a long line of like abandonment wounds. I lost my father when I was a little girl, and then I
lost my boyfriend when I was in high school. And I think I married him because he was safe to me. So when I found out about the affair that had been going on for six months and there you know, I write about the main one, I'm pretty confident that there was other things going on. There's one, there's usually, yeah, but the depth of it, like I mean, second phone, hotel, rooms under a different name. Like the extent of it
was so intense. I was just like, God, you must be exhausted, dude, Like you should have just been like, Yo, this isn't working, Like let's get a divorce. I would have been like, Okay, cool, let's try and be friends. But the way he went about it was so dirty and deceitful. But to be brutally honest in that answer, it was a way out for me because I didn't know why I had been miserable for the last like
six seven eight months until I found that out. But it was a way that I was like, oh, okay, I'm done, and it was just the disrespect level and the trust I wasn't I knew that there was no way to rebuild that for me and him personally, and I didn't want to. I think, if you want to and you love the person, that's obviously a vastly different situation. That was not the case for me, and I really
counted as like a huge blessing. I'm like weirdly thankful to him because I can't imagine still being in that situation.
Well, I feel like a lot of people do that.
I feel like so many people get married because they're like, Okay, he's safe or she's safe for like, we've been together so long, why not let's just get me, you know.
And it's like what And it's like, I'm twenty six and then we'll be married for a couple of years and then I'll have babies and then and now I'm like, oh my god, I'm only thirty, Like what.
What do you think if that, if he never had affairs or anything like that, do you think you would have ever reached a point where you're like, I can't do this.
I think I would have stayed a very long time trying to make it work, because I I even leaving with the cheating, I was feeling guilty because my mom had just given me this dream wedding. We had just gone on this amazing honeymoon. All of our friends and family came and like we're so supportive, and it was this big spectacle, and all of a sudden, it's just
over that quickly. So I yeah, I think I would have stayed a lot longer trying to make it work and been really unhappy doing so, until it ultimately just wasted a couple more years of my life. And then I eventually would have would have left.
I feel like I have to kind of retrack something that I said, because it's always kind of bothered me because it was a headline that said I didn't take the easy way out, and I think that's not a fair thing to say, because sometimes it's harder to leave too, you know, sometimes it's the strongest thing to do is leave.
And I think it's dependent on the situation.
I think it is completely dependent on the situation. I agree, but I thought that always is kind of it's like one of the things like she didn't take the easy way out, and I'm like, oh, that's so. That doesn't mean that everybody that leaves is taking the easy way out. No, either or not, because sometimes it's harder.
Yeah, on both ends.
And I would say, like, honestly, sure, there were times when I'm like, it would have been harder for me to leave. They're both hard, but sometimes it is harder because of the logistics of the kids, and like.
Starting over life, I was starting off, I was so lucky that like we didn't known a house together, we didn't have children. I mean, I can't imagine that would have been a completely different decision making process if other elements would have been included. I was really thinking.
Did he want to stay and work it out?
I don't. I don't think so, but I don't really know. I didn't really give the opportunity to like have that discussion when he was on a business trip when I found out everything. He came home. I like had the papers handed to him when he got back to our house and had like a fifteen minute conversation where he continued to light in my face and was just like okay, bye, and walked out the door, and felt like a whole weight was lifted off me.
I can imagine like you were probably like you said, you were, like.
Yeah, dodged like not a bullet, like an army of snipers, like completely.
So then, how how soon was it that you met your next.
Okay, so the next dude we'll call him. Character name is Javier.
Oh and by the way, I know Javier, so that's another connection. You know him because we're friends, you've met him. But I've talked about Hoavier before.
And this is the only podcast that I've ever done where someone knows one of the main characters in.
Because your mom, her mom was talking about her life and I go oh my god, I go, is it Javier? And she goes, oh my god, how do you know? And I said, oh my god, I remember him saying he was going to take a girl to Italy and he decided this person. Yeah, I've known him for twelve plus plus years old.
Yah.
So when her and I connected and yeah, messaged each other on Instagram, I was like, I'm kind of not believing this whole situation. She's like, I know, oh, I know.
So I was just like, yeah. So I was just like, I remember him vividly saying for you, she was going through some stuff and you know, he's like and then he said that, you know, he just needed to not go with her. And then I'm like and then I'm talking to your mom and I'm like, oh my god, Like this is just like crazy because I remember this conversation.
So his backstory is about a year and a half before we got together, he lost his brother and it really really affected him, as you know it would, and I think he stuffed down a lot of that grief.
And suicide too, which is like a nut whole.
Yeah, and I think he kind of buried it, and you know, when started working a lot, and you know, just kind of tried to run. Felt like he dealt with it but didn't. And when we fell in love, I think that opened up a floodgate of just lots and lots of emotions.
Well, and he's never loved someone the way that he loved you ever, too, Like that was like, oh, yeah, I think that probably scared the crap out of him.
I think that's exactly what happened. Yeah, I just got caught in the crossfire of it. But I have a lot of compassion and we're still friends and I care a lot about him. But it was a really difficult situation. I mean, he coming off of the divorce. It was like I was fine. I know that sounds weird, but I was like, this is where I'm supposed to be. I'm really happy that this happened the way that it did, Like I am gonna go live this amazing life now.
And it was the second situation with Javier that really like broke my heart. I know, it's so funny like having so, yeah, we didn't actually meet for the first time after I left the house. We reconnected two weeks, but granted this was like a month now that I had known about, you know, my ex and that I was going to get a divorce, but we he popped up on my Instagram page, I followed him. He messaged me. He was like where have you been for the last
six years? I was like, whole funny story, And we ended up going to like get lunch and go to the beach. And but before, like six years earlier, before I had met my ex husband, we had casually gone out like twice, like went dancing, made out. That was
the extent of it. He was like the one person I had ever been like casual with and then was like okaybye and like lost touch, went got married, got divorced, And so we went out this first night and it was just like an instant thing to the point where he was like what are you doing on this date?
I'm going to take you to a wedding and like you need to meet my mother and I was like okay, but like we were it was both of us and like his friend's family, like it was like this is the girl I'm gonna be with, and everyone was like
how is this possible? His mom and I clicked like instantly, and it was just a month and a half of really intense connection before the trip fell apart, and keep in mind the whole book, So me finding out about the cheating, the divorce, me meeting Javier, us breaking up essentially and going to Europe for a month. That all happened in like a three and a half month period.
Wow.
Yeah, So it was very like really intense and in your face there was no breath or break between any of these situations.
So kind of has that been kind of something that you've done your whole life, had like very fast moments of attraction and love and.
Not to that extent. I'm a serial monogamous, Like I'm not alone a lot. I do go from like one relationship to another, never as quick as it happened then, and it was never as instant and as intense as it was.
Well that's probably why it was so because you're like, yeah, yeah, this is something I've never yelt and done before.
Yeah, and it wasn't. And that the feelings that I had with him made me realize that, like, oh I was never really in love with my ex husband at all. Wow. So it I mean, it taught me a ton about myself even before I left on that crazy trip.
So after Javier, what was it after that? Like, how did you get yourself back together? Like what did you? Did you fund another relationship? Did you work on yourself? Like what helped you so well?
You left for Italy?
Yeah?
Was it?
Did you go to Italy?
Well? So our original plan was to do all of Italy. Our tickets were booked to Rome. So his dad and him picked me up from the airport, I mean from sorry, from my house. We flew to London together. You didn't, Yeah, that was sitting next to each other hanging out. But you know what, like honestly, everything was weirdly normal, like we've always you weren't nice yet at him, No, that's
the weird thing we had. We were so connected on this like weird soul level that like the only thing that changed was that we weren't kissing and holding hands. I mean he took the picture of me at the airport with my backpack on, where I was like peace out, guys and divorced, like this is what's going on in my life. By we hung out at the airport for like three hours, gone on a plane, flew to London together.
He then went on to Rome and I started my trip in London and like had nothing planned because I found out I was going by myself two days.
Before theres an ounce of you wish that he would like changed his mind.
Well, we thought we had like discussed when we got on the plane. We were like, well, you know, our flights are booked home together, maybe we'll meet up, depending on like how you're feeling and like if my heart is not in a million pieces still. So the whole book, when I'm on the trip, it's this whole like am I going to go sem? Am I not going to go? Seem And it's this whole rollercoaster ride of like can't close the chapter literally and figuratively. So yeah, it was.
It was a lot to kind of navigate, but that trip, and I wrote the book on the trip, so I brought a journal with me. I started at the first day in London, and when you open the journal, it literally looks almost exactly like how the published book is. It's like chapter one. I wasn't like journaling and then
made it into a book. I knew that that's just what it was going to be, so writing about all of it on this journey that I was on being alone, which was one of my biggest fears my entire life, since my dad died was like being okay by myself and this was the universe way of being like, Okay, well we're going to go face that head on. Yeah, so it was really like therapy for me. But No, to answer your question, I didn't like jump back into
another relationship. I was like trying to figure out if things were going to change with him or not, and knowing in my heart that I kind of like needed to be by myself and your just knew myself.
How old were you during this time?
I was twenty eight.
So that's impressive because the whole situation, the way you kind of handled it and him seems very adult. It really does, Yeah, because I just feel like even in my twenties and even late twenties, it was just dramatic and you know, big gestures and everything. Yeah, and drama. Just the fact that, right and the fact that you were able to accept he didn't say because he wanted
to go with another woman. You know, you knew the reasons why, and you guys are still be able to be adult about it and you handle the way you did and even him. I just I think that's impressive for your age.
I'd be like, come with me, And that's like normally, I, even my younger self, was very manipulative with men, not in like a scary way, like you know, if I wanted to get something like I'd be able to figure it out. And there wasn't ever a thought of like, well, maybe there's a way I can change his mind. I was like, no, this is like my journey that I'm supposed to be on. So if it wasn't for him making that decision, like I wouldn't have had this like
life changing month long trip. I never in a million years would have been like let me go to Europe by myself. It was such an out of my comfort zone experience, like with a backpack, like not even luggage. It was very completely new for me, and I learned more about myself on that trip than I had.
Yeah, what was the one thing that you were shocked to learn about yourself?
Then I'm never really alone and I'm always okay because no matter who in my life may abandon me, I'll never abandon myself. And that was huge to like start those abandonment wounds to heal.
It's like crazy because a lot of people have to do a lot of therapy and a lot of rehabit to like get where you are. And I feel like that's like amazing that you could just go on a trip and really find that in yourself.
Like yeah, I mean, and don't get me wrong, like I've been in and out of therapy my whole life. I'm like an advocate of it. I think everybody should go, even if nothing's wrong, like go talk about some stuff. But yeah, it really I knew that I was going to like do some serious work on myself, and and through writing the book, it really like brought so much out that I was surprised about that I could then look at and go back and heal on my own, which was huge for me.
Wow. So the relationship, now, what's different because you guys with vier no no, no, with your man.
Now, oh oh right right, I know I was gonna the very handsome man that you. So we have had an interesting courtships. Yeah, because we I'm showing the picture. Okay,
we actually met ten years ago. He played my older brother in a film Love and but have always been kind of just like friends on social media and whatever and kind of like Javier, Yeah, you know, interesting, that's how they that's how they come back and he saw the picture I posted the day I left for Europe of me with my backpack like explaining this whole cheating and divorce situation and like kind of airing all my stuff out, and he messaged me and was like, oh
my god, I'm so sorry, like I'm I can't believe what I'm reading, blah blah blah, like when you get back, please let me know, like I'd love to take you
to lunch. Not at all, you know, like that. He we had always like this very brother sister feel to us, and we ended up like running into each other, not even I know he's a good looking dude, not even like planning it, running into each other when we when I came home and I was like, yo, I'm not ready for a relationship, like don't even like a big wall like and he was like he was like, okay,
that's cool, I'll wait. And ended out he was the first person to read the book, like before my mom, and so I remember, you know, two months in of us kind of like hanging out but like not really yeah, and he was like, I've never had a roadmap of the girl I'm trying to court, and I'm literally reading all of this stuff about and he was just like, first of all, I want to murder the two men, and he's just he's a really great guy and sees
me for me. I've never been able to be more myself with someone and and he's okay with like me taking it day by day, like not having to have like a end game goal and just kind of like being together and being in the moment. But he's definitely like one of my sole people. And I feel that
way about Javier too. I think I don't really believe in soul mates as in like lovers and my husband, but but I believe in like soul people that come into your lives to, you know, drastically either teach you something or change or like be a catalyst for something that you're supposed to learn. And both of them, Javier and my current guy, I love that.
No, you're mate, yea one and only, but both of them, Javier and my my current guy, I met years before.
So Javier and I had met six years before, and my current relationship and I had met ten years before. So and I that's a testament to me to like soul people. It's like they come in and it's like no, this isn't the right time, and they come back so much later and it's really you know, to to affect you. And I feel like there's you know, not to get into the whole past lives thing, but I truly feel with certain people that I meet that like I've been
with them in other places. Are your mothers are so like ridiculously she read She actually when she read the book, she called me and was like in tears and she was like I was talking to a bunch of my clients about like self love and how to explain it clearly, and she's like, it's such a hard concept to really explain. And then I finished the couple of last pages of your book and it was right there in my daughter's work and I was like, oh, I'm like, see I
actually learned something from you. It's a very like proud moment for her.
So it was cool, so sweet.
Wow.
So they made it Eat Prey Love into movies. I don't say why they can't make Eat Prey Hashi Fmo into movies. You know, it would be really funny, but also like again like healing and yeah, and it's.
It's written kind of like a Netflix series. We're kind of like it's been in discussion that we're thinking of like a ten episode type thing because it's written as a as a show kind of like you feel like you're reading something you should be watching. That's just kind of how I write. So yeah, and.
That's what you're doing, your writer. You're an actress. Yeah, you're kind of like doing everything. We're in all the hats. What what like? What do you want if you can do just like the one thing you just want to act in your own thing that you write or.
No, I really I've directed two projects now and I really love that it. I love having some control over what the finishing product is going to end up to because you know, as an actress, you're like, great, I'm going to show up and do my work, but like God only knows what this is going to look.
Like or why did they use that scene? Oh because they needed like this thing to look like the acting isn't there?
Yeah whatever. Yeah, So directing it's really nice because you can like have some control over the product you're making. So I would love if this went to series to not play myself in it. I would love to direct it.
Hello, Yeah, Mike can be my Javier and stop.
Oh God, don't make me the first guy.
Yeah, I mean, okay.
Such a long way.
I mean, come on, No, I don't want to like go like somber because it's this has like been awesome. But with your dad, I mean, how have you been able to?
You know?
I think because girls it's hard. I've I had daddy issues for a long time. He didn't die, but I felt like he kind of abandoned me, But with yours, it's like he'd passed. So it's how did you because you never you're not able to talk to him or you can.
But yeah, but not in the Yeah, there's no way to like get closure necessarily from him directly.
Or to have like some like that father figure there. So do you feel like you were always trying to like search for that?
I mean that's why I've always had men in my life, because I was trying to fill that hole that was left when he died. And it was even not even just in relationships, like I never wanted to be alone, Like even if it was like a roommate or my mom or my friends, it was me not being okay with myself. And it wasn't until I realized that I needed to go fix that for I could be in a space with someone else in a relationship. So I think, you know, there's no like said answer as far as
grief goes. It happened when I was seven. My dad remember it, I do. I remember it vividly. I write about it in the beginning of the book how I was the one that found him. My mom was like off shooting in New Zealand and had to fly home. It was like really traumatic for a child. So I do remember it, but I'm kind of thankful in the way that it didn't happen when I was old enough
to have like serious emotions around it. Like if that would have happened when I was a teenager, like my mom lost her father when she was sixteen, I don't know, like that would have been harder for me to handle. I think so while it did implement certain abandonment issues in my life, it it wasn't the hardest emotional thing
to get to get over. I mean, obviously it's it's sad and I feel it and I cry, and I had years time really does heal a lot, But yeah, I think it's it's about finding what those wounds trigger in yourself, Like as an adult and being able to kind of like peel the layers back and see what's at the root of it and then start working on that part.
So where can our listeners Instagram all of it, eat prey, hashtag FML.
Yeah.
I Amazon primed it, so yeah. So it's on Prime.
It's exclusively on Amazon. It's in paperback and ebook. I don't know if I'm allowed to say this yet, but oh well, I just signed an audio book deal for it.
I love that.
So is it you reading it? Like, oh, that's so cool when people do, that's so cool. And you can download audible.
To hear that degree. Yeah that that won't be out till like later later this year. But yeah, it's on Amazon for paperback and ebook. And I'm at Gabrielle Stone the books at eat pre FML and whenever people read and send me messages and stuff, I love to repost it. I love hearing all the feedback from people. It's been really really rewarding to hear how it's starting to resonate with.
Oh, I'm I feel like that's everything that you're writing about is so relatable. Like that's what's crazy is that, whether people know it or not, it's like like you said a life.
We all have to find ourselves. Yeah, anyday, whether you've been in a bad relationship or whatever you're going through, it's all about finding yourself, yeah, in the journey.
So and it's it's not just like a self help book either. It's like fun and you'll laugh and maybe cry and get.
A lot of favorite place in Italy you went, last question?
Oh god, Well I went everywhere. I didn't just do Italy, which was the one silver lining of not going with Pavier was I got to see a lot more. My favorite place that was probably Barcelona. Yeah, I met some incredible people there, but it like my heart, like really felt at home there. And I loved Amsterdam too. I think it gets a bad rap because everyone's like, oh, you can go joint and it's the canals and why
go across the world. No, it's beautiful, architects, amazing, amazing and the people that are so so sweet.
So yeah, well thanks for coming on the show. We're doing dinner tonight right, Yes, wait, Okay, isn't she so sweet?
She's a chip off the old block. Even from the small small interactions I had with her mom d on the movie set, She's definitely chip off the old block. But she was fantastic.
I knew she was a scorpion. I knew it.
I just knew.
I could just tell by like the way she was talking about like her relationships and her and her I just knew.
I just knew.
You know.
I love to have just quizzed you on that, since you think you're the Google I love.
On the topic of I'm all about I've been very interested in like trips to find yourself same.
Z's and I don't I'm jealous of why are you less?
Wait?
But like by yourself or together by yourself? I know, don't you feel like sometimes kind of just miss the boat.
Because I might go to Kilimanjaro, do killman Jaro next summer alone?
What? Not?
By myself?
Hello? Oh, I'm sorry? Is this the first world? Okay, you've never said anything to me about this is literally.
Just the other day. You haven't talked about it yet. But the topic about the trip I said, I'm thinking about it just came up.
Where's Kilimanjaro? What Sarah?
Do you know?
Wait?
Time out?
Sarah is made in Africa.
I think it's Yeah, I've confirmed it's in Africa.
Yeah, I have a friend who did well.
But either way you can have to get some shots.
Yeah, oh yeah, and you have to do like training. Wait, what is Kilimanjaro? Isn't it like as a mountain? A mountain? It's not like Everest, but it's like that, like I had. Okay, it starts with kill kill Himanjaya kill Vianjaro.
No, I have a girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure who did it. And they had to do like training, like hiking, breathing.
All that you be in shape.
No, no, but I swear I think she had to do like special whatever, wap time out?
When?
Where? What?
How?
What?
Bucket list?
Like bringing it up on here? Defense? Do you witnesses of what?
I'm just curious, like who's the conversation with Jason? Jason?
Who Jason? My best friend? Jason?
Oh that Jason. I don't know if his.
Brother, his bud, his other buddy Callum from what.
You fly to Tanzania and climb on kill was the tallest mountain in Africa?
Yeah, And you know what's the thing. It's one of these things where you.
Tell me you're already gonna go. This is Mike. He's already He already tells people he goes and then I'm like, okay, show me. Let me say I would love to, like, let's do it.
Let's yeah. I'm like, I'm all about it. I would love to. Let's get some more information. So then I get information, then I bring it to you. I don't want to be like, hey, I want to hike kill Jar one day and you'll be like, Okay, he just did that exactly today.
That's what I'm doing life trips, you know.
I saw this thing. It was uh I think it was the NFL Awards Honors last year and Chris Long, who's with the Egos and I think he's retired now, he does this. He did a mission like every year to Mount Kilim Majarro with a bunch of NFL guys that would go and hike it, and just the whole video like behind it and just what these guys experienced like when they did it and got to the top
and took the picture. It was just something like ever since, like last summer when the NFL Awards on A show was on, I was like, man, that would be really cool. In the fact that Jason just texted me like a few days ago about it, it just kind of retriggered that mindset. I was like, man, that'd just be something I've never done anything for myself like that. It'd just be something I'd want to talk about.
Would you do it by yourself?
What do you mean by myself?
Would you go by yourself? I think they have like guides and stuff. No, no, no, no, I'm saying, like, is it would you go on that trip solo? Are you going to Tanzania purely by myself? Yeah? Like, because like would she Gabrielle did, like she went to a you know, foreign country by herself, because that a lot of people say that to really soul seek solo is solo because that's.
Your your alone in your thoughts. You're alone in you know, in those moments, you're alone in the darkness, you're alone in all those things.
Two things, first thing is traveling around by yourself is one thing. Hiking, but doing hiking and doing something like that, you need you're still with the you need a base camp, you need like you have a guide, you have people around you, like, and you're still you're not talking the whole time you're walking up because you're sitting there. You don't want to.
Exist and that I'm just like asking, like, no, I'm.
Just explaining why I would not just go by myself, because it's still hiking, physical activity that could be dangerous that I would want people I trust around me, you know what I mean. I don't want to be like, hey, me and this tour guide who I don't know, maybe barely speaks English, but if something happens to.
Me for sure, Yeah, I just because when you say like going on and a soul search thing to me, like from like, I think people have those aha moments and those things like when they're doing things by themselves.
For sure, but I think it's also for me. It's not even necessarily soul searching because I know who I am nowadays, but it's more of a soul It's more of a soul cleansing. It's like just something just to like bring you back to neutral, to appreciate the things around you, reset your system, to get out of all the la and travel and everything that we do. And it's just it is because it's still just me and my thoughts hiking up this mountain accomplishing something for sure sounds hard.
See.
I would always love to do a trip. I just don't think I couldn't be alone. I couldn't do it, I know, but I think I would thrive. I think i'd I've had a version of myself if I went solo. I agree, I couldn't. I could. I would come back and being like I am the independent, I'm the I freaking did it. Because you're feel so proud of your I would feel say so proud of myself. I agree, I could like cry, No, my girlfriend just did it.
She went to South America, traveled for like a year by herself, came home thriving. Now this bitch is moving a BALI like she's killing the game, and I'm like, wow, three years No, three years ago she was in a five year relationship like she was in it and it's just like but it's it's also just like where do you you know? It's different lanes and I just I couldn't. I think it's cool, but I couldn't. I'd rather go to like a ranch or a spa and find myself there.
But sometime she's like, come visit me. I'm like, let me know when you hit the ritz Carlton, and I'll hit you there. I think I would have a better chance of like if I went somewhere in the States for three months. I could probably do that. Like I could go live in like somewhere random, but leaving the country.
That's where I would differ to me that would do nothing. Then I would be lonely and bored. If you go to somewhere experienced, like a new country that has things that are centuries older than our our continent, our country does, It's like that's something that would get my my juice is flowing and like this is something that I experienced. If I go to Des Moines, Iowa for three months, but no, no, no searching right.
Now, I would go to like I could go to like Montana or like Wyoming or Colorado, Like I could go do something like that for three months and just be like, you know, no, so but I could really months or a month or.
Two what like five days?
Oh no, Like I'm saying I could go for like a month or two Oh really, but I couldn't leave the country.
I can wait on that. I'm like, I wouldn't go like I would.
It would have to be far.
But at the same time that I think about the kids, and I'm like, I could never leave my kids.
No. I feel like when you do that, you have to be like her, like no husband, no kids, like out here doing it.
To do all that. Yeah, I mean that to point you. Like my friend that that texted me about going. He lives in We grew up and we went to high school together as my best friend growing up. He moved to London or to England for medical school. Hasn't come back after college. He fell in love with it over It has an accent everything now because he's been there forever, which.
By the way, always like you're American, but I can see.
I can save a British But I can see how if you spend like a decade over there, you're gonna start naturally kind of talking that way.
But you talk like this because we're like moving to Nashville.
We live here, but things like that, I'll start coming out. Look at Schwarzenegger.
He's been in thirty years and he still sounds like he just got here from Austria.
Different, I guess, but he goes when he just has a few days, he'll go to down the country like that by himself. He'll have nothing planning. And so that part of me too feels comfortable going with someone who travels all of the time, who does this by themselves.
You know how I feel about him though, Oh oh, he's mean to you. I don't like how he jokes. I get you, he's he's very mean to him and it makes me it really it bothers me because her I get for my man but puts him down. Twenty fourth every time I've been around him, like he puts him down, I'm like, how are you gonna go find your Like, here's the thing. If you said somebody else,
I'd be like, go. But my hesitation with it is I don't want you to go to have this thing and he's gonna put you down the entire time you're walking up a mountain, because I don't want to pun him off the mountain.
Oh wait, if.
He says something to you like he's just like he's like, oh like he's just mean, and it's like that's their way of joking. But I'm like, that's not nice, like maybe unhappy. Well, I think there's other things going there that I'll say off the record, but yeah, that's mine. You think he's mean to you, No, it's our relationship.
We've always just ragged on each other. It's one of those things we'll go with. We could go without talking for a year, and the first thing we did is bust each other's balls. And it's one of those things because because we don't talk, because we live in separate countries, we don't talk as much because we have opposite hours. But when we do get past and we do talk for a while, we get past all that initial like jab jabbing back and forth.
It mean to you.
He's never once asked me a question, not once. That's another reason.
And how many times have.
Have I asked any questions? When it came to our house, I.
Was asking question, have we seen this man?
It doesn't matter, but he's been he's been in my house and he's never asked me. He's not once asked me a question. I'm sorry he was in your house and he didn't. His brother talked to me more than he talked to me, So again I have he's mean to you, and he doesn't ask any questions, and he doesn't care to get to know me.
So yeah, maybe he's scared of you. No, I think he loves Michael.
I'm just saying.
I think Mark, just I'm not going anywhere near that.
I think Mark.
Pause.
The pause was so beautiful, the silence I've never enjoyed silence more on a podcast than right there.
If we're gonna find out in Tanzania, he's gonna go find himself and say, you know, because like Ban, I wouldn't even be upset if you Mike came back gay with him.
I I am not saying a word. The the the the interweb is going to have a field day with this.
I'm crying. Look, Mike, Mike, I need.
Honestly, honestly, here's the thing. We thought, No, there's you're lying even even there's no thought. Even me and his brother had conversations on whether his older brother who him and I are really tight too, about whether or not he may be like men, which is obviously fine either.
Way, but it makes sense why he doesn't like me. I'm just saying, like the swallow, it's so quiet.
We just heard my My thing is after even talking to some people about it, even like my therapist about it, and talking to my friend himself more, not bringing up is like to me, what I've kind of open my eyes to is it's about his priorities in life. My priorities in life have been to have a family, have a wife, have kids. He's that person. He with his free time, he wants to experience the world.
How do we get out a lot of.
That is what is important to him. So because I don't think he actually is, that's my point is just because he doesn't have a relationship or doesn't, I don't think that that all I'm saying is that's why I don't think he is.
I was going to say sometimes like maybe when it's a friend from the beginning, like he just ride or dies so hard for Mike that he's probably just like if this beat, you know what I mean, Like not in that way, but.
But to that point too. When we were in London when you're playing the O two Arena, Sick and I went.
And it was a side stage.
It wasn't that big either way.
She still play. That's a big deal. Me and my buddy, you know, he lives in England. So we went out and uh walked around and stuff like that. And because he is he has been my boy since like thirty one. He had a little bit about that. But that was when we were Jane and I were like.
I feel like, you know, he's obviously taking your side and he's obviously and.
He was just like, what did I do to not have him like me. It's not fair.
It's not about that. It's not it's not it's about it's about seeing your friend irregardless of everything else going on, seeing your friend and pain.
Senior friends about when we came to our house with his hand, mom and brother.
Agreed like at a certain age. Hi, but I feel like, what did I do wrong?
If I messed? If I like hurt him, but I didn't hurt him, so like maybe he thinks he did. Well, love to know the stories, That's what I'm you know what I mean?
Like you never told him no, not no, not you, but do you know like sometimes our friends like regardless of what, like your friend's gonna, you know, have your back. I think it's if I were the one that did the wrong doing, then yeah, I could totally see that, but not if I didn't do the wrong doing. And Hi, you just came to my house and we have another kid in here, and like you know, like be more friendly. You no say hi and ask one question? Not where the is the bathroom?
You know what I mean?
So I know, well, well, I don't think we have time for emails.
I don't know you, I don't.
Know so anyways, I'll report next year from the top of killay.
I just looked it up, because you need five nine days.
Dr Romney was in Johannesburgh. You can and kill him and jar we'll skype you down.
Why don't you like start with like Machu pichu. Isn't that a little easier?
All or nothing?
Okay, all right, if it's something you really want to do, well, obviously we'll we'll chat about it. Look at the calendar, you know. All right, Well this has been fun, but one done later.