Wind down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heart Radio podcast.
Okay, we're back another adult education.
So there was an enlightenment on Dad Bod's Oh my gosh, we're back.
On Dad Bad Sidney, I told you this was going to come back. I just would would I say I didn't.
I didn't.
Actually, Sidney just goes I knew it. This is where this is where I say men are just a little bit more sensitive because I didn't.
I didn't mean it in a battle. I don't actually think you have a.
Dad bad I know I thought, but lessen. So this is so much. This is the difference between being sensitive and taking action. So I have a new structured program. Okay, okay, monthly program. Okay, okay. I approached someone on on Instagram and it's it's quite it's quite funny because he's his Instagram name is dad Bod Steve.
Wait, you're approaching dad bad Steve.
No.
I spoke to Dad board Steve because I liked the messages.
GMed him.
You slid into someone else's DM and this time it wasn't me. You slid into his Dad Bad Steve's Instagram.
I liked his messaging on his on his channel because he based he bases it around like thirty five and up for exercises. Okay, And although I'm pretty coherent and when it comes to exercises, I know what I'm doing. But I thought, you know what, I'll get somebody that gives me structure. So Dad board Steve. All he needed to was text coaching to Dad board Steve.
Oh yeah, superior striker follows Dad Bad Steve on Instagram three hundred and eleven thousand followers.
Wait, so we had we had the discussion yesterday and I told him, you.
Are kidding me right now? This is is this for real?
Yeah, I'm now on. I'm now I'm now on a p because we've been so busy the last few weeks and I've lesson been stuck in the office right of stuff, and I've lost the consistency. So it's not that he's going to hold me accountable, but he's just given me, Okay, here's your here's your program done.
So what.
I guess you just randomly went on Instagram and typed in Dad bads.
No, he's a fitness guy.
How did you find him?
Because there's loads of fitness I follow loads of fitness people and I listened to fitness stuff and he had a message around the amount of protein and stuff that you should be taking when you're slightly older. So I then delved a little bit deeper into his page to see if he's messaging was actually really good and whether it was interesting. And it was so. And I've seen the thing that said, okay, just text coaching for your your monthly custom exercise plan.
Does he know like you?
I knew what I did and how it was?
Okay, So like, what was your DM? Because I know what your DM like coaching?
I know text on coaching.
That's all you said, was coaching.
Well that's what it tells you, right, and then he.
Sends you the thing.
But I actually had a conversation with them, and were you like my wife said, I have a dad bad.
Yeah, I said to my had the discussion with my wife and she and diirectly gave me a bit up the ass, which is good. That's what good wives do. They empower the husbands in an indirect manner.
I literally did not. I think.
I said, just thought it was funny because his name is Dad Bard Steve.
But it's hilarious.
But he's good. So I did the first session last night.
His things that I helped men lose their dad bods d M the word coaching to lose yours.
Then you DM coach.
Hundreds of fitness mates and I end up text and DM and dad bod.
Steve literally like you're friends with David Beckham and those people and fitness trainers.
And like David Beckham fitness train.
To say, like you know, like you've worked with the most elite athletes and the most elite trainers and nutritionalists in this and you're dming Dad bad Steeve on social media because you read his thing saying I can I help men lose their dad Bad's DM the word coaching.
That's not what I read. But that's not a read fust it was. It was the divine timing of Dad Board's message. It's actually quite funny, and some stuff on his page it's funny as well. Like some people say, it's not a Dad Board, it's a father figure. Oh well, so I've got a plan, babe, all right, I have got a plan in place.
Yeah yeah, Again, we could just circle back to the conversation. I love your body. I think you look great. I never actually know that said you had to I just love a dad bad. I love the caush. I don't like the super shredded look in men personally.
I'll probably never have that look aade me.
It's just not my thing. I know some women like that, but I don't. I don't love that where it's they're so addicted to in the gym. Does that make sense?
It does?
But how do I say this? Because I don't want to come off bad either. I think there's when someone wants to be in the gym five hours a day. To me, that's just a little like I don't know that it's a lot. It feels kind of like they just care about their appearance maybe or.
Is that that's job?
Well, right, if it's their job, then then that makes sense to me a one thousand percent. But if it's not their job, is that too? What's too much?
I guess it depends if they've got a wife and a family. They've got a wife in a family, then it's probably a salefish isn't it to be in the gym that long?
Yeah? So I guess that's just like what is too much?
I totally would understand if it's their job and and everything, but just to to be in there for that long when it's not their job.
That's just good of a dad. Board Steve been fifty minutes done.
Okay, well I'm yeah that's awesome. Honey.
Yeah, thank you.
What's how many? How many days? What's your program?
Like?
I've got this month? Sort it?
Yeah, okay, I love it. Well, speaking of you just said that you love beer, that.
I like beer too much and say I love those.
Differences I love.
Yeah, okay, would but see that's the thing too, like you do things in moderation, so you're not going to not have.
What's what do you mean talk about that?
Because I think there was a few in my life that I had when I had an unhealthy relationship with.
Would you like to talk more about that?
I think when there's certain things happen in your life and you end up and it's not because because of divorce or because of certain incidents, but I think a lot of it is loneliness. You know, like when you were divorced, you got into you get into habit where it's fine just to have a glass of wine ever really and it becomes an unhealthy habit. It's not exactly totally unhealthy because you're not over drinking or over consuming, but you hadn't have a a healthy relationship and a
lot of it was lonely. It was loneliness because alcohol heard something a few months a when it was really it was really powerful, and it was alcohol wants you to be lonely.
Oh wow.
And it's so true because if you think about it, eventure, if you're drinking too much, then you end up having argument, you end up ruining relationships, you end up sneaking off the drink on your own. It wants it wants you to be on your own. And that was something that is really It resonated with me like probably like a few months ago, a couple of months ago ahead and I was like, wow.
It's kind of true and I won't won't bring up, but you know.
It's really true. Like when you talk about the cabin.
In the woods and yeah, the cabin the woods are I just want to go to my office and be alone.
You know. It's yeah. And there's also the fact that during and listen, everybody has different phases in their life. But I didn't really have anyone to hold me accountable, Like I lived on my own. I was seen Troy limited the amounts of times, so so many nights I was on my own and you think, oh, it's okay just to have another one. It's okay just to have another one, but no one's there to be like no, not tonight because that's two or three nights in a row.
Or where's you're good at that? What do you mean you'd be like okay, well, because you know what, I try and stick to be a wise the two and two method, which what some weeks, but there'll be things that I'm like, okay, maybe it's maybe had a couple of bios on a Thursday, and then it's a couple on a Friday, and then I have to get one on a Saturday. Like babe, that's three three nights in a row.
You also told me to hold you accountable, and I appreciate it.
So when someone says hold me accountable, I'm going to hold the person accountable and knowing that it is something that you want for not only your self, but I mean just for your health too, because now that we've done more research into alcohol and the effects of alcohol, but with holding accountability, it's like, I don't I think it's hard to fall like you said, like it is
a lonely thing or yeah I did. I would listen or I would drink, you know, probably out of a lonely thing too, and just it was my I think for women, it became a this is your mom juice. I mean I almost call this podcast mom juice because that's how I was, like, oh, just and mom juice. And you know, it's it's okay to have the glass of wine at the end of the day. But I became so reliant on having a glass every single day that it became a habit. And I don't I've never
had a habit forming thing. I used to be able to smoke with cigarettes and then put them down and never have them again. But when I truly had to break the habit of drinking every single night, and it was Roman that essentially stopped that habit because I didn't drink when obviously when I was pregnant. So and then learning more stuff talking to people like doctor Aim and having you know, people like that on the show and just kind of hearing the certain effects of alcohol and
what it can do. And then you know, I think too, for you you grew up in a society or I write like people drink Scottish people drink.
Irish, yeah, a lot.
And so when I looked in, you know, at our relationship with your drinking, it was something where I was like, well, that's just his culture. But then you know realize, and I think you also heard people say close to you like, hey, you're kind of drinking a lot. That that made you maybe then take a look at it?
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
And then it made me go, Okay, maybe I can then maybe step in two and say, hey, how did that make you feel when this person said that, Yeah, do you want to address it?
Do you want to look at it?
Which I have done.
Yeah, And I think I'm proud of you for that too, because that's that's breaking like a true cultural thing too.
Yeah, it's I think it's also choosing the right moments to drink. I think they realize when I'm emotional because I like to have a couple of beers because it relaxes my mide. So there's two reasons why I like to do it. I have a couple of beers to relax and unwind, which is not unhealthy, a couple not too unhealthy. But then there's times where it helps me. It helps me be creative in my office if I sit and have a well I'm doing like app stuff.
It helps me be creative because you almost lose the fear of not the fear of failure, but it takes it takes some of the feet away for you to then be more creative and you're thinking again. There's a balance to that and so this part of me, okay, I'm going to have to be creative and I'll use a biro too to kind of open up my thinking and lose diminish my feels.
And what's a while.
A lot of entertainers drink before their shows. I mean that was me and the band guys would all have drinks before the show because it loosens you up. It's sometimes some of my best auditions are when I have a little glass of wine before because I lose that fear or that I get to I feel more playful, you know, and it helps me be more creative. But on that note, we have Christy Osborne coming in the show. She's got a book coming out called Love Life Sober. Let's get her on.
Hey girl, Hi, how are you.
We're good. We're just you know, chatting all things alcohol right before this. So amazing we are We're glad to have you on.
We were just saying how we have we have both formed new relationships with alcohol. My new relationship came post post baby and Alan you know, he's Scottish, he comes from a very cultural background of drinking and and you know he's I would say, what in the last year or ten months, you've you've kind of readdressed a new
relationship with alcohol. Yeah, And so when we saw you on the rundown, I was like, oh, this is going to be interesting because we've we've got some you know, someone on here that has some some knowledge and you're going to share your story.
So thanks for coming on.
Yeah, thanks for having me. And I get the cultural thing. I've been living in the UK for the last sixteen years, so it's very similar over here in England to Scotland.
Yeah, yeah, absolutely, Okay, So, how how long have you been sober for?
Since twenty twenty so four years?
Forgive me what can you share your story to sobriety and why you chose that.
I started drinking like any kind of like normal teenager, like just tried it, thought it was disgusting, then went to college, was in a sorority, but never really wanted to get to out of control, and so I was like the girlfriend that always held your ponytail back and all that. But then I saw upticks in my drinking kind of as I got older, moved to the UK, I went to law school. It became this this thing so that I could rest and kind of get a reward after.
A long day of classes and all that.
Then I became a mom, and I was alone in a country with no friends and no family, and so it was the thing that you did with your kind of NCT group over here, you're like prenatal group.
We would go to the parks and we would drink rose.
And it just became this like like the whole mommy wine culture thing, the thing that I did to relax. I had pretty bad postpartum after my son and didn't know it at the time, but was just really really really sad and using the wine as a break at the end of the day. I remember we got a baby nurse at one point, and the whole point, right was for her to get there so I could sleep, and I just literally went in my room and had a massive glass of red wine.
And then in twenty eighteen.
My own mom passed away and that's when I started drinking to cope with like some really serious grief, and so that looked like drinking at home but also out on the town in London with my girlfriends to all hours of the night.
And it just got.
To the point where I was really, really sad. I knew I wasn't in a place where I wanted to hang out with my kiddos. And these were two people that I prayed for desperately, that I was so grateful to have, and I just I preferred having wine or I prefer drinking to being with them. And so it was two years literally to the day of my mom passing, and I just literally looked in the mirror and I
was like, Jesus, I can't do this anymore. I was exhausted, I was fighting with my husband all the time, and I just wasn't like being the woman that I wanted to be. It was, but there was like no rock bottom moment.
You know.
There wasn't like this duy, There wasn't this massive thing that happened. It was just like a slow eroding of the person that I wanted to be, my values, like my character, and so I just went on this amazing journey of learning everything I could about alcohol and starting to feel so much better in the promise in the process, and so that's kind of yeah, I'd try to do that really fast, But there's a lot there.
Did you try and cut down and provide more balance with it, or did you just go from your drinking habits to completely sober?
So I definitely the a few dry januaries, so October is all of those things. But when I was doing that, it was very much a let me take off thirty days to prove to myself that I don't have a problem, because everywhere I looked, my drinking looked the same as all the other moms around me, and so I just thought, if I can take thirty days off and make it or thirty one January, then I'm okay, there's something wrong
with me. I don't have a problem. I can continue to like drink like all these other gals around me.
Well, I think that's an interesting point too, because when I've spoken to people that help with mental health and you know the things that are happening around alcohol, a lot of people will say, well, I don't drink during
the week I just drink on the weekends. But the problem is is the binge drinking, so you are drinking so much on the weekends that it is it's almost you're gonna drink more than if you just had a glass during the week each each day, like you there, that's that's now the epidemic is what they're saying with with alcohol abuse is the binge drinking. When you do drink, you're drinking so much, and it's like, that's that's where the problem comes in.
Yeah, one hundred percent. And the problem with the whole I'm not drinking during the week thing, right, is that you're just constantly making these rules for yourself that then you tend to end up breaking because alcohol is really really addictive, right, and this is why I feel like it gets into this the insidious for women, and then we can't hold up to these rules that we're making
for ourselves. We can't do the you know, wine and then water on a night out or eat first, and all these rules that you're making for yourself, and so then you end up feeling like this failure and then the goalposts are always moving, right, It's like all of a sudden, Thursday is the new weekend or Wednesday or whatever. So strange this day and for that day, yes exactly.
Yeah, yeah, still providing excuses, don't you. Yeah, and you start finding ways to okay, well I can. I'm okay to do it here because I did this here, or I spent four days not doing it, so now I can do it for three days. It's almost like when you're younger and you have mates who have jobs, whether they're so miserable in their jobs that they just live for the weekends. So Friday comes, they walk out of
their office and they go crazy for three days. It's almost what it's like, well, okay, i've spent the last five days not having ending. I can just go. I used to do that when I played. I would not drink from months and months and months because I was
a professional. And then we'd have like ten days off and the team would go on a night out and I'd only drink once, but that one night would be just absolute craziness, and the whole team would be like that because you don't drink much when you play, so it's like, Okay, you've waited, you've waited, you've waited, and now you binge and all of a sudden you're love. I was like what the hell are you doing to me? You're not done this for months and now you're now
you're killing me and your and your book. There's a reference of a no failed plan mm hmm, and you offer a forty day alcohol fast.
Yeah.
Can I ask why why? The forty days is a science behind that, based on physiological systems and no.
So my the book Mary's basically scripture, So the Bible with neuroscience and my story because when I was doing all of my research and then I started coaching gals, I couldn't find something that had that had both, and so the forty days is a reference to.
Forty the Bible. Yeah.
So, but the no fail part is what I love talking about because the thing is is that I, as we were talking about, with all the rules, this is about learning and growing in curiosity and grace and not not failing. And so much much of the sober Verse is about counting days and then if you get to you know, day whatever they ten, let's say, and on day eleven you have a drink, you have to go back to day one. And that's just so extremely defeating.
And so this is just about for forty days, look at your relationship with alcohol, get curious, figure out why you're drinking in the first place, and figure out if alcohol is actually doing those things. And so it doesn't matter if you actually have a drink as long as you learn from it. And I have lots of exercises in the book of if you have a drink, did it actually do that thing? If let's say relaxation, for example, did it actually relax you beyond the thirty minutes? What
did you feel like the next day? Did you really stick to your plan of one? And so it's really about getting curious about the why behind your drinking because we have so many subconscious beliefs, and most of them are positive, even though we've had you know, negative experiences with alcohol, that alcohol benefits us in a number of ways. So it's getting really curious about is that true or not.
So I don't even you know, I don't care if you have a few drinks along the way, like obviously you'll feel better and you'll have more positive benefits if you don't. But this is about grace and compassion and learning and figuring out if your life is better without alcohol or even just you know, on a break.
I think this the thing that can be challenging because I have definitely I mean, I really drink now, I really do.
I don't.
I mean, gosh, like we talked about earlier in the show, when I was divorced, I would have a glass of wine every night, and it was to what you said, it was the mama, mama, mama time and this was my you know, I couldn't wait to pour that glass of wine when I put the kids to bed, to just like relax and you know, have peace. And then when we started dating, it was something fun that we
did together. And then it was after having our child that I was just like, I really want to form a new relationship with alcohol because I actually don't like the way it makes me feel. I don't sleep good. You know, I've heard all the negative benefits of it. There are times when I do enjoy it, you know, when I have like tonight, I've got a yugur night with my girls. But there are also I feel like there's this and I want to say pressure, and I also don't want and I'm gonna give give an example
and I'm not saying you do this at all. But the other night, when we had our friends come over, I said, you know, I'm not going to drink tonight because I actually just didn't want to, but I felt the pressure of having to drink because we were going to have a game night with our friends and this is what Everyone's going to have a drink And if I'm the only one not drinking, then that must mean that I'm not fun. Right by no means no, no, I'm
not putting this on you at all. This is what I make up about myself that people are going to think that I must not be the fun one, nor am I going to have fun if everyone is not drinking. And I did say I'm not going to He's like, you're not gonna and you said like, well you're not gonna. You don't You're not gonna drink, And I'm like no,
and you didn't press it. But there was a piece of me that was like, does he think that I'm not fun now because I don't want to have a glass of wine because I want to.
I want it to almost.
Be okay and and more normal that you don't have to have a drink when you're having parties with your friends, that you can just you know, like I just I had my little hydro drug and who they didn't know what was in it, but I knew it was just water with a little bit of lemon, you know, because
I actually just didn't want to drink. I wanted to just because because I just know all the negatives that I'm now feeling in my forties with alcohol, and I'm like, I don't even I don't want to have a sleepless, sweaty night of not feeling good or like having that anxiety, Like I just don't want to feel that, you know, I like it for the thirty minutes of like that calmingness or that calm feeling, but then afterwards, I just I don't like how I feel in the middle of
the night or when I wake up in the morning, or how my body feels, and so I just I want it to be And you probably are, like when you open a beer, you might feel my judgment of oh here's he's drinking.
I don't do you feel that or is that your your in ourself?
I probably used to not so much now because I've I've controlled it and balanced it out a lot more. But I think you do. I think when when it's been a question that's been raised, like going back to you one where you were, I would raise that because I know that you enjoy having a glass. Very rarely we have more than than one glass. So that's why I'm like, Okay, you're not drinking. That's strange, Okay, because
I know you enjoy it. But yeah, there'll be times on like maybe so I like to I like to grab it if I'm I grill a lot, like we I grill like five times a week, probably four times a week, so on like a Thursday or a Friday or a satur when I'm grilling. I like to have a beer when I'm grilling, And there's sometimes I'll go into the fridge and I can feel the eye following me all the way the fridge, all the way to the group.
I love it. I you know, I also just don't like.
I also know your habit that you're also trying to break, you know. So it's like that hard thing where I want him to enjoy his thing, but also I know the negative side effects. I know he's working to clean his liver right now. I know you're you know what I mean, Like, we're working so hard to clean our clear our systems of the the damage that we've put on it, whether it being stress or the food we've eaten or the things that we've consumed alcohol wise.
So yeah, the good news is that a lot of those non alcoholic beers taste like the quote quote real thing. My husband's gotten really into the non alcoholic beers.
Well, even said like we've been even drinking a lot of Stevia because you just like the fizz of like the carbonation.
Some things I would like. I just love having the refreshing, culminated drink. So the some things like I'm happy just gonna like and might be a fridge those like the Stavia Cola's called some things that going on, I don't want to be. I just want to sparkling combinated refresh and drink. So maybe it's a maybe it's my relationship with colbination that's a problem.
I don't know.
I'm like really into my sparkling water. But you bring up a really good point. And so the fun part of it too. I talk a lot about this in the book of Giving alcohol jobs, and that was my hardest to break as well, was alcohol is fun. It makes me fun, it brings the fun, and so it was just doing a lot of testing of that out.
Is that true can I have fun without alcohol? And it took some time and doing different things, and then to the grilling part of it, right, it's the job of almost the ritual of having the thing at the end of the day of grilling for the family.
And having that glass.
And the good news is is that we're in a time now where there's so many options with different mocktails and stuff like that. So it's really about just asking what is the job that I'm giving out alcohol and is it actually accomplishing that job or doing the opposite, which I know if if there are listeners that like are into their their drinking, that sounds like a totally crazy thing, But it's just about open, being open and curious with all of it.
M hmm yeah.
And and then you know in groups such settings, people are like, you know, like even tonight girls knife, I was to say I'm not having I would probably get a comment being like, oh, you're not drinking? Why does that have to be even a question?
Are you pregnant?
Yeah?
Yeah, definitely not. But also like I just I guess, I just don't. I wish that wasn't even a post question, and like why are you not drinking? Couldn't be like, well, why who cares? Who cares if I drink? Who cares if I don't?
Why? Why are you not? Why?
Why are you eating a cookie? And I'm not like, I'm not going to say like, oh, you're not eating a cookie. I know, but I just for some reason, it bothers me that that's even like a question.
Yeah, it bothered me too. It's I tell clients to respond to that with I'm trying something new and I'm learning that I'm feeling so much.
Better without it.
And if your girlfriends are good, that's a hard one for them to argue with, if you're feeling better or sleeping better. The other one, too, is like we're all we're all struggling with anxiety, right, and we know so much now about how alcohol affects cortisol and adrenaline and how long it stays in our system. So you have a glass of wine on a Monday at book club and your cortisol levels are still spiked seven days later, you know, And we have so much on our plates.
Is as moms, we don't need that, And so it's we have so much more information now about how it's actually affecting our brains and our bodies, and so as soon as and you can be the first mover in your friend group too, write and start like lying this down very gently and gracefully. But we know a lot about how it doesn't make us feel good and how it Yeah, so.
I heard, and I'm going to butcher the timing of what this quote said or this article said. But it was like in ten or fifteen years, alcohol will be viewed the same way that cigarettes are viewed today.
Yeah, I mean, let's see.
I don't know the exact timeline, but we know, as I said, we know so much information.
Now.
It's a class one carcinogen right up there with tobacco and asbestos and like all these things that are really really awful for us. It's directly linked now to breast cancer. And I don't like love rattling these facts off, because I don't. I think it's hard to come from a scare tactic place. But it's more of empowering and educating ourselves. Right that three glasses of wine is that going to
increase your breast cancer risk by fifteen percent? There are health organizations say that it does, and so it's just about empowering ourselves and learning. Just like we didn't know all the bad things tobacco and cigarettes we're doing to us. We're learning so much more now.
So what do you say to the people that talk about the benefits of potentially having a glass of wine. I mean, you look at people in Italy and they're living their best life, like having all the carbs, all the alcohol, and they're living long and they look healthy.
I don't know, yeah they are.
But a lot of the research about alcohol being good like red wine for your heart that we all grew up with that message, right, has been completely debunked that alcohol is actually like really really really bad for your heart. The World Heart Federation came out with the statement on that, I want to say, two years ago, and then the
whole blue zones argument, which I get a lot. Actually, the research is showing that there's just as much death coming out of Europe from alcohol use is there as there is in the States.
We actually just.
Had an expert on about that over on my podcast talking about that exact same.
Thing of you know, we looked really pretty, but there's.
Just as much illness and death coming from alcohol abuse in Europe. I mean it's like, you know, Scotland and England. We love to drink over here.
So I didn't know that about the heart and the wine stuff, because I mean, yeah, I used to. This is so messed up. But you know, I'm a Christian and I would always be like, it's my Jesus juice, like Jesus drink wine, you.
Know, but that's the name of my podcast. But Jesus drink wine.
Oh yeah, there you go.
Yeah, And then that's what I would always say, it's my Jesus juice.
But no, it's not.
Apparently well, I mean we I fick that the whole other episode. But everything, right, the Bible says everything's permissible, but not everything is beneficial. And the whole reason I wanted to write this book is I ended up getting closer to Jesus. I ended up renewing all of my faith and everything when I let go of alcohol. And so you know, it's possible. It's one of those things that are standing in the way. Although I heard that that Bible study a lot, right, But Jesus drink wine.
Right?
What would you say to the person that is sober curious? Do you talk about that in your book? Like what's the maybe one of the first steps to enter into that sober curious because I mean that is a there are many people on Instagram talking about they're living a sober curious life now on social media.
Yeah, there's lots of exercises in the book, but one of the first one is just to get really curious about the why behind your drinking, right the jobs that you're giving alcohol.
Figure out what it is.
That you need at the end of the day. Another way to put that is like, what's the unmet need? The kids are screaming, you know all the what do you really need right now? Do you need arrest? Do you need five minutes alone? Do you need to go to bed early? Do you need to call your best friends?
Like?
What do you actually need? And get and get really curious. Then if alcohol is is doing that for you, Because we all drink for reasons as women, they're very very similar and as soon as we can start like eliminating of those reasons, then you're drinking less and that's a win.
Is the book is the book mostly for women? As a can man benefit for this from this? Was it just purely directed towards females.
I wrote it for women because I felt really alone when I started my own journey, and I didn't know any other women that were curious about this, and so I wrote it towards women. But I mean, anybody can benefit from a forty day break or getting curious, So yeah, anybody can read it.
Was your husband sober or did he kind of come along the journey with you?
He was the first person I'd said something to.
I was like, babe, I have no idea what this means. I don't know if it's going to be forever, but right now, I just know I need to take a break. And so for a very long time, he didn't drink in the house. This was also during COVID, but he cut back majorly. But he'll still have a beer when he's grilling, or you know, on a night out with colleagues,
he'll have it drink, but he's massively cut back. And I talk about in the book how it's just done wonders for our marriage because we're not having those stupid fights all the time, fickering.
Did you find that the fights were mostly alcohol related?
Yes?
Yeah, yeah.
I used to do this thing where at the end of the night I would write, like one eye open in my phone about why we were fighting all the reasons I was right, so that then the next morning I could win the argument. But of course you go back and you read those texts and they don't make sense.
But yeah, I mean there is something to be said. I mean alcohol can can cause a lot of issues, probably in relationships with with with drinking and guaranteed, I don't know what about free do you? Do you ever find a place where you think you would not not ever have alcohol?
No, because I don't really. There'll be there'll be a time and a place where I'll find complete and piece and by balance with it. But I don't. I don't think I want a life where I don't want to have one or two beers where I'm grilling. And so I think i'll I'll get.
What is the why? Though? For you, I'm just curious.
I don't. I don't really know what the why is. I think it. I think it brings there's a part of it brings a certain amount of peace while it's for the thirty minutes or whatever science says. I don't know. I think it's I think it's a man thing of I like to I just like to have a beer now and again. And I don't think I'll ever lose that habit. I don't either get to a point where it'll be healthier, and who knows, I might get to a point where I'm just like, you know what I've got.
I've limited it so much that why even why even do it at all?
I don't know, Coach, what do you hear when you do? What do you What do you hear when you hear that?
I think that if you have peace around it, right, a lot of the of the That's the thing that my client say when they fully give up, is that that mental noise of should I, shouldn't I, and all the rules we were talking about. When that goes, you have so much more mental real estate and more peace. And so if it's not clogging up your mind and you're.
In your you do have a good relationship with.
It, that's one hundred percent fine. I think I'm talking to the gals who know that they're drinking too much and are sick and tired of struggling with being stuck in this pattern and not know how to address it when it looks like every you know, everyone around you is drinking, and so we also all have our things right. It might not be alcohol, It might be social media. It might be we all have our things that are are distracting and so.
This ism is what yeah is what it is?
What I say, we all have that one thing that's some sort of ism in our life.
Yeah.
Yeah, but Chrissy, thank you for coming on. Everyone.
Get Love Life Sober available September twenty fourth, a forty day alcohol fast to rediscover your joy, improve your health, and renew your mind.
And where else can our listeners find you?
Yeah, I'm on Instagram.
At love Life Sober with Christy and I also have a podcast but Jesus drink Wine and other stories that kept us stuck.
I love it. Thank you so much for coming on.
Thanks babe. Nice to meet you guys.
Yeah. I think it's good. I think the balance is a good thing. But I also the more I think we dive into health things, it might be something that we both look at and go okay, because I could be one hundred percent done. I could be sober and not drink anymore. No, it sound good for you, it's not very nice, but it's just like I because I've cut that habit in a way where I don't feel.
Like I need it.
You've cut it down so much know that.
Yeah, well it's again. I just I don't like how it feel.
And I feel like when you stop too, you didn't you also recognize the benefits?
Yeah, I think those. I know that if I have more than if I have more than probably two, if I have more than three drinks like three beers, I know that I'm gonna wake up during the night and I'm gonna I'm gonna have fears about things. I'm gonna wake up and think, why did you drink more than three beers? And it almost brings it just it just brings all the dark things from your life and the
fears up when you go to sleep. And then I know that if I drank too much, I wake up, and so therefore I just tend not to do that to a point where I don't want to wake up with fear and anxiety.
So that's like one the only.
Fear and anxiety I have at night now is when you elbow me when I'm snoring. Anxiety. I have been elbowed midnight.
Elbow I do it kind now. Anyways, all right, well, we'll see you next week.