Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heart Radio Podcast.
Okay, so this week's adult education which, by the way, Hi, we're back from hiatus Enid, Oklahoma. Any things you want to call out about Enid, Babe.
We'll get a show out to the Italian restaurant which shaved, which saved my nutrition every day.
It was lovely. It was called Napoli not Police. Yeah, Police, great Italian place you.
Can I salmon with no butter and no oil.
And yeah, that was a tricky one, is en We knew what to expect. Yeah, it was a It was a cute little time which we chatted about it this week with the girls too. But it was really sweet and happy to be back. I'm kind of a psycho when I get back from filming. Uh I just I love to be home, which is nice and so just getting back into the grind of things and go in and work in. But speaking of working, you have been working with our next guest who is he's ginormous huge,
He's huge. He's a he's an author, speaker, counselor. I mean he has worked with some of the biggest names, I mean in this industry from you know, business Moguls, professional athletes. He's worked with, Robert Downey Junior, Charlie Sheen, I mean, Kanye West, so many people.
I think the kind of the dynamic of our relationship is he's almost like a business type mentor for me. Yeah, although but he'll naturally, he will naturally delve into because he wants to get to know you and he needs to. He'll delve into the personal side of your life, which then complements the business ideas that it has. And the way he structures your vision old my vision, but he helps me structure. So yeah, almost like a business mentor.
And he's incredible, like you just you could talk to him for hours.
He really is. I Mean we met him through a mutual friend and I've known his work for a little bit and watch some of his stuff, but I mean he's just we got to watch him speak and it's just the impact. And then I just love that y'all have been able to create a really great friendship too, And because I think it's really nice to have that mentor in person helping guide guide you along, you know, pass where you might need a little motivation or a mentorships and or a mentor, you know, mentoring on.
Yeah.
So, but his name is Tim Story. He's phenomenal. Do yourself a favor and follow him on Instagram. But he's got some coaching programs too that we'll talk to him about, like Alan is doing with him. But let's get Tim's story on. Let's not let him wait another minute. Hi, Tim, good.
To see you. Thank you for wearing your glasses today.
I mean, you know, I just really wanted to channel Tim and so I thought, you know, and I just want to see you better too.
So there's that it's working.
We're so happy to have you on. So we'll just kind of jump right into it. But you and Alan have actually you guys have been working together.
Yeah, yeah, we like besties, are No.
I love that because it's you know, it's we We got to have the honor to see you speak. And I've obviously known about you for a long time. We share a mutual friend and I finally got to I've seen your you know stuff online and uh, but I got to actually see you in person. And you know, to be such a motivating person to so many other people, I always like to know where do you personally have to motivate yourself in your daily life, Like where is that like? Because I even like when I look at
my therapist, I'm all right, where do you struggle? I need to know where we can like be on the same page and know that I'm you know that I'm not the only person that's struggling here having a tough time. So it's when you're out motivating. Is there ever that piece of you like you're still trying to find something to motivate you?
Yes, so great question. I think that for some people it's innate, it's inside them to just be full of inspiration and see things positive. I was fortunate enough to get that gift. So like when I was a kid, I was a first one up of the five children, I was the youngest. I was up super early because I wanted to get the television so I could watch my cartoons. I was very motivated to do my homework. So there's there's a lot of just inside inspiration that's there.
And then the second thing is I've been very, very fortunate to have a lot of male friends around me since I was a child that really have had my back, that really check on me see how I'm doing. And I think that that has been a real strength to my life, so I never get too depleted because I always find that there's people around that want to lift me up.
I also it's interesting for me too because we've had a lot of these conversations where baby, you've said that you're very cynical.
I can be.
Yeah, And you know, when we were leaving that Aspire workshop and you know, hearing some of the speakers, you know a lot of times it's like, you know, stand up if you believe it, or clap you and it's like, though I want to believe it. It's like, is me standing up right now saying all this stuff? I'm like, is there am I going to get that part that I really want I if I or is this just
kind of luff to make me feel better? Like that's the cynical part of me that goes, Okay, yeah, I love it and I'm motivated, but it's been ten years. I haven't been back on a show that I really want and then like, I can do this till I'm blue in the face, but like, I don't know, And then that's where I kind of can relate to the cynic side that you sometimes go to bed.
Okay, Yeah, So I think the caveat to that is so I do have a little bit of cynicism, and a little bit I lack trust in certain people in situations,
probably in business more than anything. So I think the positive spin on that is when someone comes along in your life that you feel that can be a real mentor that you feel that you can improve with every word that they say and every word that you say to them, then that's even more important and even more powerful because as a slight cynic I don't always get people like Tim involved in my life where I look forward to the sessions and when I come out of
the sessions, I feel energized and ambitious and hungry and ready to go and work. So the part of the part where I think the cynicism can almost be a powerful thing because when the because you don't get drawn in by everyone, if you're a if you're a little bit cynical, but when the person, when people do come along that are right for you in your life at that time, that particular time and for that phase, then you embrace them and they empower you and hopefully you
empower them. And that's just this kind of what what Tim's like for me. He's like a mentor like a business exactly. It's just everything that I need to bounce my ideas off of and my thoughts they go through they go through him in those sessions, and it's not it's not very often I embrace people. But with Tim has an aura and a natural energy around them where you want to extract his energy. His information has guidance everything.
So yeah, and and yeah, and it's like yes, absolutely, and then it's about how do you like that get up and clap and like if you believe it? Is that just to like get the people to feel something.
Yes, So number one, thank you for the compliments that you're giving me. So I think that in life, we're all going through recovery and discovery at the same time. So if there's three thousand people there, everybody is going through recovery of something and hopefully discovery of something else. So it could be recovery from a health issue, or maybe something has happened to their parents, or they're going through their own challenging situations financially or even in a relationship.
So the way I come across as a person that is speaking and working with people, I first am looking after those people in the recovery zone. So I'm definitely not trying to hype somebody that's in a hospital. So what I what I am doing is I am being my authentic self. Like in sports, I was a captain of every team I've ever been on, even if I wasn't the best athlete. So I'm a natural born leader.
I'm a natural born cheerleader. So what I am saying, let's clap, It's truly coming from who I am, because I'm like that in my daily life. Like I could go to CBS and the lady behind the counter will say, do you know how I look forward to when you come? And I asked her the other day why she goes? Cause you just are always giving me compliments. You even notice my hair. That's just been me since I was
a kid. So but in the idea of inspiration motivation, I'm very careful with people because again, someone could be in deep recovery. I'm definitely not trying to clap them out of it.
M Okay, that makes and I love that. Like recovery and a good discovery like that is it's set so true. What do you think your recovery discovery is?
Like?
Does does everybody have like it. Everybody has one right in the moment that they're in.
Yeah. So I think I think for your husband, before he even answers, the discovery is finding you. I think that you guys found each other and you have this nice alignment as two bright people that are doing great things. I think the recovery would would be some of the challenges that he's faced in the past, maybe in relationships or even stepping into what his profession is now, because in getting to know him, when you have so many talents,
it's which one do we do now? And so I think that there is some recovery and discovery going on at the same time. But that's a beautiful place for him to be.
Agreed, Yeah, because I think when we've discussed and you know, if you're open to sharing, where you just there's so many things like so when you have so many directions, you almost feel lost in that because it's like what do I do? Which direction do I go? And that that's a that's a tough place too, And that's.
It comes down to. It comes down to prioritize and like I've explained to you many times, it's like I've got these ten plates spinning above me, which one do I grab and bring down and embrace and prioritize and focus on. And that's that's that's the difficult part. And that leads to the sessions with Tim, where's okay, this is this is the direction, and this is this is
how we move old. It's tough when you when you have a few different options to prioritize because it's so difficult to do so many things properly, really really properly well said.
So there's a book by a guy named Keller called The One Thing, and so as he's saying that when you feel like you have these spinning plates going, the strength that he has to have at this stage of his life is to go after that one thing. So, but there's a one thing in many parts of our life, because our life is many things. It's relationship, it's you guys have children, it's his business side, it's your business side. But really going after that one thing and mastering that thing.
And this is part of the blind spot of many UH creatives that I work with, is that they don't really stick with that one thing. So they don't cultivate the land and dig deep and pull out the best of it. They move too quick.
It's like, what's next. I feel that. Yeah, I feel like I did the It's like, all right, cool, did that singing? Okay? Check? Now, let's all right. Now I get to create this thing and it's and then it's just which It's like, I don't think I've mastered truly any of them besides Motherhood, and I still haven't mastered that. That's just the you know what, I feel like I do the best at.
Yeah.
When you think of yourself, Jane, because you have so many sides to yourself, you know, you have the act inside, the singing side, the writer side, the podcaster side, the speaker. I mean, you could do anything that's in art in my opinion. Okay, So for yourself, what do you think is like one area that you want to really go after in twenty twenty five? Have you thought about it? And if so, maybe do you want to even share it?
Yeah? I think I this year, I think I hold myself well. I I feel like I hold myself back in a lot of the things that I do because I create a scenario like, oh I can't do that because you know it wouldn't be a success or I'm not good enough for that. And so I put my own limitations of what I believe myself on the things that I want to do, of why it wouldn't be successful.
And I think that's my achilles heel. Is that the word that's the negat thing for me, where I just for example, like I have an audition today, I'm already walking in the room going, I'm not going to get it because I'm not the age they want, the you know, the look they probably want. And so what I'm trying to do is because I want to well, you know, I want to get back on a you know, a
TV show. And that's like what I'm just like, my my, that's my gooseag, Like that's what I want so badly to be back on a show and and you know, doing the show that I love and acting and not just you know Christmas movies all the time and stuff like that. Like I just and but I have to somehow find the belief that I'm a capable of it and that I that I can do it and that
I'm going to find it. It's just in this industry, you know, it's just so hard because you get so close and things get ripped from you, and it's like I thought I had it last year and then it got you know, I lost the test and it's just so, but I have to find somewhere the belief in myself that I'm good enough to be able to get the thing that I want. And that's what I think it
has been holding me back for a long time. And that's where I kind of go, oh, I've been so like with the music, Okay, I got a few awards, a few platinum albums, great, check that off, because I don't want to. I did good enough that I don't want to continue to go and then fail. So I'm proud of myself for what it did. Now I'm going to go onto the next thing. And so that's just where I feel like I'm my worst self. I hold myself back the most.
So in life coaching, we look at it in quarters. So you have like birth to age twenty, then you have age twenty to age forty, then age forty to age sixty, then age sixty to eighty, and then eighty tow one hundred is what we call like the bonus. Okay, So when I'm coaching people like birth to twenty, so like seventeen eighteen, nineteen twenty people are just trying to figure it out. Okay. I find that twenty to forty, about thirty five to forty is when people really start
hitting hard and they're like, okay, what's going on? When people slide into the forties, if they're not careful, they can almost get a little fearful because they feel like they're playing catch up rather than just kind of gain going in that flow. They feel like they're trying to catch up. So when either one of you look at your life through that lens a birth to twenty twenty to forty and the thought of forty to sixty, what goes.
To your mind, Well, forty to sixty just sounds really old. If I'm not going to lie like that first, So I was like, oh, like, I haven't actually accomplished the things I want to accomplish yet. And then that just almost gave me a little anxiety. Fucking totally honest.
Yeah, yeah, I feel forty to sexty. I certainly forty to fifty. I'm now at the stage where I're like, Okay, you've done It's almost like being at university. You've done your studying. Now you need to really hone in on I explained this to you yesterday.
Tim.
It's like also, it's like my business is like a mystery to a lot of strikers because I'd never publicize what I do. I don't really show any sort of psychology stuff. Proper nitty gritty of the drill is nothing the mindset stuff. And now I've been really private up
to that point. But I feel now I'm at the point where Okay, things are peaceful and stable enough, and okay, now is the point where you start to for the next to at least two or three years, Now you start to really show people who you are and what you do. I never wanted to do that from thirty to forty. I just wanted to grind and study and graft and get to the point where I was deemed as one of the best of what I do, but
it was always private around it. Now I'm like, okay, this is this is now the phase where you show people your knowledge, you give them an unsay and to and too you and your program and what you do with players.
I like that.
So that's part of my life. Almost feels like Okay, let's go, let's let's let's do yeah, yeah.
Yeah, but again, men many times process things different than a woman does. So Janna, you have different moving parts than he does, even though you're married, because you're you're the mother, right and you have other responsibilities. But so I think that that's the challenge many times of being multi talented, where you have these different things that you can do, like when you're saying, like, my music hit these levels, which I'm well aware of because I've known
of you for many, many years. So I think that with the music, you're still just scratching the surface. I think that as you mature, and even on the songwriting side and the lyrics side and the musical side, I think we'll see you really elevate in a beautiful way on that side. But then on the acting side, I'm going to give you three quick words. Number one is revelation. Secondly is conviction. Thirdly is action. Before somebody takes a very strong action, they have to have a revelation of
something like Oprah would say, an aha moment. So it's that feeling when you know that you know that you know, like duck on it, I am a really great actor. And you don't say that to everybody, but you say it to your green room, your inner circle. So you have the revelation. The revelation leads to conviction that you know that you know that you know. So when you are going into auditions, you're like, I'm pretty hard to beat. You don't tell everybody, but you could tell us because
we're in your inner circle. But it's that revelation conviction that leads to action. And I think that that's when you would see like the al Pacinos of life, the Meryl Streeps of life, where they just dog on have a revelation that they know who they are.
I'm going to take that into an audition. Today's kill it.
WHOA, It's you've done work.
Yeah, you both work.
You've gone to acting classes, you've done one on ones, you've done groups, You've been on things that you enjoyed doing other shows maybe not as much, but you've done the work. It's like before I go speak on a stage, like a lot of guys, they have like headphones on and they're like, you know, really getting in the moment. Some people are meditating, others are yelling at themselves. I'm
joking with people. I'm joking with the sound guy, I'm joking with his kids, I'm asking his wife questions and they'll say, like, Tim, you're on in five minutes. Igh, I'm good, Tim. Seriously, you're on in two minutes ago. I'm good because I've already done twenty hours of studying for a forty five minute speech. I'm not cramming for a.
Test, right, Yeah.
So I have such a revelation of what I'm going to do on that stage that it's almost like like this, like I'm kind of excited.
I love that. When you're working with people, what would you say is the number one thing that does hold them back?
Believing in themselves? Truly? Truly? Not where or they have said they believe in themselves to so many friends, but behind closed doors, do they really believe in themselves? And so I think that so many people, they hinder themselves from moving forward because there's an imposter syndrome that hits many Many people just block some of the good doors that are open for them because either they don't think they deserve it, or they just don't think that they're
equipped to step through. This is an interesting thing. So, because I get to work with a lot of high profile people, I would say to them, while we thought you were amazing, did you ever feel like you kind of sucked. And I use that word, and this one guy, famous famous athlete, started laughing. He goes, only you would add that.
He goes, I totally felt like I sucked, he said a lot of the times, I said, so even as we saw you as like just dominating, could not be stopped.
He goes, yeah, because I looked at my weaknesses and I wasn't like a perfect father, and I wasn't a perfect husband, and so I didn't just see myself on the court. This was a basketball player. But is the same thing with famous actors that say to me that even at their height, whether they're they're still or not there now, they would say, I still felt less than which is interesting to me.
What is the like how do you get It's like, okay, how do we believe in ourselves? Like what is the what is it the tool or tip that you give them to have that because or is that something that you can't give them and they just have to find it themselves.
Oh no, you could, you could one hundred percent work through it, because I think too many times we're thinking through the lens of our faults, our flaws, and our failures. So even in an audition, like false flaws failures or him soccer slash football false flaws failures. So it's important that we don't look through that lens of false flaws failures, but look through a different lens. And that takes time to apply that lens and then learn how to look
through that lens in a different way. And part of that is is that, hey, I may not be what I want to be, but thank goodness, I'm not what I used to be. Like I'm a work in progress. I am better than I was. That's a good place to be.
Yeah, that's true. I mean I feel like I walk into a lot of things and go, I'm good but not good enough. Like even with auditions, like I get close, I'm good, but I'm just not good enough. And it's like that's the piece that it's like I haven't been able to and I feel like that's I've carried that with a lot of things and just it was a good really but not good enough. I mean obviously now I've the relationship piece that's different now, But it's just you.
Know, Tim, what do you think the difference is between And this goes back to your point as well, but not believing in yourself at times, So you have people who won't believe in themselves in certain situations, whether it's on an addition or whether it's they're on set. And then you have people who, certainly, in my realm of work, how I feel is I believe in myself, but I've
got a problem with perfectionism. So therefore, when I when I'm critical of myself, it's not because I don't believe in myself, it's because what could have been a bit better or I could have done this instead. So what's the difference between lack of belief and because they must be they must be connected the lack of belief but also that the ability to like the perfectism thing as both a weaknesses is guess what I'm trying to say.
So what psychologists would say is we are minimized many times by our mentors. So I think, all three of us, we have to see who are our mentors like? What were our parents like? What were our siblings like? What were our teachers like? Were we minimized by religion or maximized by religion? So a lot of people that I work with, they were minimized by their mentors. So I know grown men that are still afraid of their father and the father's opinion, and the father is like so old.
And so these are things that we need to think about, like what kind of response did we get when we really did well when we were children?
Huh? Mine was just not good enough? There we go. What was yours?
It was a mix? Really, yeah, yeah, it was a mix of getting the praise and.
Not getting the priests, which is yeah.
But for Janna, I mean, and for real, this gets down deep into us. It's almost like if you're walking through New York and it's cold and it gets so cold it gets into your bones. This gets really into our bones of this idea of not being good enough. So then what do we have to do. We have to unlearn what we've learned, and we have to change our mindset. And so as we know, our mindset is
ours to set. So what I would do if I was working with you one on one is I would have you read books that really help you to change your mindset, because that's going to change your perspective and even how you look at your self.
Okay, can we get on that. Let's do that. You now have two clients in this household, two bank customers, one and two.
Two brilliant ones that in my opinion, and this is not just fluff, I know when I when I feel it, I remember meeting like different stars before they became stars, like ones that if I named that everyone would know them like I met them like at fifteen or seventeen and you knew it, or even people at thirty five when I knew they were going to the next level. So I think that I think that life is speaking to both of you that I call it. Your calling
is calling you. So there's a difference between a career and a calling. The career is not what you guys are looking for. You've done the career. Now you want to step up into your calling, and that is to live out your purpose and also through your purpose, help change a whole lot of people's lives. So when you're in that place, that's a beautiful place to be because now we are doing and growing and living for more than just ourselves.
Yeah, has a celebrity ever come up to you, because obviously you've worked with a lot and you just go, I can't like, because it's your time. Your time is very valuable, It's precious, and I know business is business, but at the same time, or there are just people that you're like, I just can't I can't even give my energy to it, or do you think or are you just like I want to help everybody in all No, I say no.
And I've said no to probably three of our biggest celebrities of all time that are still alive. Yeah, because they were not honoring me. So it's like what your husband's doing with the whole idea of being great on the field and being a striker, if he's got like some young guy who's not respecting what he knows, and he knows that because of the way they're talking to them or him or treating them. So three of our biggest celebrities I've met with before, and they were making
it like I'll try it, I'll try it. Well you helped him or her, I'll try it. And I said, if it's just like trying it, like maybe there's somebody next, I think we're missing something here. So no, there are some people that I did not connect with, but I will give it to one of the three. They came back around when they're in a better place and said, damn, Tim, I'm so sorry. I was so full of myself. I couldn't see straight. Let's go at it. And I've been working with that person now for three years.
I love that. And what is if there's one thing there like this is kind of my mantra that kind of gets you through tough times or to staying positive, believing in yourself. What's the what's the one thing that you kind of have on repeat in your in your head?
Yeah, I think this idea. In life. We all have life interruptions. So we have momentums. We have these times where there's momentum in our life and then there's a life interruption. And interruption is like a knock on the door that we did not expect, Okay, some kind of a challenge. When most people have a life interruption that I call a set back, they don't know how to
handle it. They sit in the setback, they settle in the setback, and then the third one, they cement themselves in the setback, so they constantly talk about what could have been, So they settle, they cement. So the mantra that I really have in my mind is that you know, while I'm feeling the sting of a setback, life is
already preparing my comeback. So no matter what I'm going through, I really have that in my heart and in my mind while I'm feeling the sting of it, because I have felt the sting of setbacks, but I believe that life is already preparing my comeback even while I'm feeling the sting of the setback.
Yeah, that's probably my favorite thing. I remember you talking about that, and I'm like, yes, like that is that was That was one of the big things that I took away from that from when I heard you talk about that, because it's just so true and it's it's so easy to sit in that setback. But I mean, I always believe in such a big believer in like next chapters and comebacks, and there's so much that you learn that you can then grow and then be the
best version of yourself. So yeah, I'm all about everybody's comeback. We all deserve it. We all have it coming too, we just have to be open to receiving it.
Okay, So tell me something that you're excited about of getting older the forty to sixty phase. Okay, becoming fifty fifty two, fifty five, fifty eight. Give me something you're excited about in that phase of your life.
I would just say the first thing that came to mind was more peaceful. I'm a little high strung at times because I'm just grinding, grinding, grinding, and I hope that this grinding and there'll be some massive winds that I can just be more settled in peace and not feel that I have to hustle and I got to support, you know, I'm always have that fearful growing up with a single mom having to work for everything, then having that reality and then going, oh crap, I am the
sole provider. I have to, you know, for my kids at that time. And then now you know, you know, we're obviously married, so I don't feel that pressure as much, but I still it's in my bones. It's been there since my mom was working three jobs. So I hope that's what I would like that piece.
But that's a beautiful thought, right, that's a beautiful thought. I would say that is the gift that I have given the last five years of my life is peace. In fact, one of my friends who lives in Nashville, who is an entertainer, he said to me one day, he says, Tim, are you're on medication? And I go, no, I go, why do you ask? He says, you're so calm, it's almost weird. I said, it's the strangest thing. I said, I just have so much peace in my life. And to be honest with you, the piece that is in
my life now. For a while, it was awkward, it felt strange, it felt different, and I was almost waiting for it to leave me. But I found ways to have it remain. But to be at peace is an amazing place to be. Peace does not mean perfection, but it is a state of mind, in a state of your spirit that can be amazing.
Yeah, I agree with that, Bibe. What about you.
There's so many things that need to be so many things that need to be achieved that you know, as to a light, we can never set at peace for a second. Even when we watch a TV show, there's guilt because we shouldn't be watching this need to be more productive. So I think the piece part of it is something that we've always discussed.
I don't wear my R ring anymore because it tells me I'm stressed twenty four to seven, so I've ditched that.
Yeah, I think I think the next few years will still be will be grinding, and we'll be building things with the view to fifty two or fifty three, fifty four, whatever it is, or we can take a step back and trust the fact that we can take two or three days off not have to worry about things. Or when you don't get the role that you might have hoped for, your fine with it because you know you'll get the next one. So I think the piece say
that it is important for me as well. I think where I see myself as an elevated, more composed, more digitalized version of what I am now, a version that people know better. Therefore I'll know myself better, So therefore I'll be more peace within our family life, for family dynamic, but also in our careers as well.
This is a good discussion. It's almost like Merrital.
Counseling Tim, we should just put you out retainer.
No, but because I like this for him. But I think that as I'm talking to both you at the same time and everyone else is watching us, which is a lot of people, is that for Alan's life. He's really there's a time right here where you really do need to strike like there are open doors you right right, you need to just like bam, hit it. I say that you know when you when you get that break through, it's a breakthrough. It's not a break sit, it's a break through. So there's a there's an open door, so
he's got to go after it. But that's only part of his day. There's other parts of his day. If you have one hundred percent tile, then we need a couple pieces of that pie of the day where he is still, where he's in the moment, where he's okay to be in the moment, but when he's working, he works bam bam bam, gets it done. And then when we take off, we we take off and we're very Eckard Toll. We're in the power of now, fully present, fully feeling, and fully alive.
I love that you've a masterclass out right now? Is that right?
Yeah?
Yes, tell tell us everything where our listeners can just have a little piece of you.
I think that I think the best place is timstory dot com. So that's s t R e y dot com shows what we do. I still executive coach companies, work with some people one on one and then on Instagram it's Tim's Story Official. And if you're interested in working with me in one way or another, just DM me and we can chat and see if there's a fit. But it's a privilege to get to know both of you more and I think we're all going to learn from each other. And that's the beauty of life.
It's it's our it's our honor, for sure. We're so yeah, we're so grateful that you are in our life and just thank you for everything, and we cannot wait to see you soon. But yeah, we love you so thank you for coming on today.
Thanks Tim, thank you You're the best.
I have a great d