Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heeart Radio Podcast. Yay's thanks all back, Thank god, my captain's here. You're welcome back. Things are a little rough.
You guys, don't have to put the phones out, Saday. You can just come in and sit down.
We just trust your eye too much when we have to do it. There's no trust in each other room, like wait, did you pust?
Did you do this?
Airplane mode? I don't know.
And then I also go back into like that mode of when you have like a like a boss and you don't want to disappoint someone like it would be my luck that I wouldn't push.
We would take that hour out of her literally no time, and then we would record it and then we would have bested up, and it would just made me just really sad. Welcome back to night.
We're glad to have you, glad to be here.
Have you like gotten back on.
A I got it Saturday night. I slept like ten hours and it was amazing love A ten.
We're so good. I mean I went to bed at eight thirty. That's nice? Is that a girl? Yeah? It was so nice? Good.
Yeah, So it's been good and I'm yeah slowly getting back into the the sleep.
Are we feeling all supported on the home front coming back? Yes, good, laundry was done.
I need to know. I've been just dying to money.
You should say that, Cat, I need to know. Ye was done.
And No, it was one of those where it's like where the kids bag's unpacked from the trip. No, you know what I mean. Things So but it's fine. It was a greenhouse. I didn't even care. I came back just like very joyful and to be unhappy. Yeah, to get home because it was a long one. Yeah, and I'm sad that you weren't able to come out on this one because it was you would have loved it. Yeah, this is this is a good one.
It ended up being interesting because Emmy ended up being sick.
That's home.
When we were gone, she had like one hundred and two fever.
That's where I'm at right now today.
It's it's a thing. It's a viral thing. We tested twice for everything. Weird.
The baby had it Saturday, love has it today.
So she was really sick. So I would it would have It would have been a struggle for me to leave because she's usually fine. But like her fever got pretty so I would have felt it so it worked out. Yeah, I was bummed, but it worked out like well, of course.
It would have. It definitely would have been a fun one though. Yeah. Oh, I can't wait to see you.
It's so good. I'm so excited. There's a few things that I'm real proud of in it good. Yeah, it's a little jockey. It was out of you. I was a trainer, oh not a jockey trainer. Proud of that too, thanks girl, girl. Yeah, that's that though.
Guys. We're just happy you're back. It feels weird when and it was like, a, really this is so sentimental and ridiculous, but that's my role, right, that's what I do.
Right.
I just like being here though, Like I felt like far away from you, so it just felt like good to just even be like in your space.
It was definitely the way to do it. It was sweet and not psycho what I just said, because like, my house isn't set up for it. It always doesn't sound good, it doesn't look good. It was just so much better to just be here. We could be here, the setup, we could see you, well, it was it was perfect.
Yay, yay, don't ever leave again. Let's me do that again. Well, I might have a few coming up. But anyways, that's fine.
I mean, that's good, kine.
So any life updates? Did the in laws come? What's happening?
No? In laws didn't come? You said, did you?
Oh? You kept saying what if that's what you want?
That's right? And it ended up just shaking out good I am guys?
Are you?
And I hope you're proud of this. I'm trying really hard to use the word surrender over and over and over again. Yeah, not a doormat, but just to know what will be, will be sure, because I find myself anchoring in these little nooks of nervousness or anxious overworrying. It does me no good, it does my body no good. And so I'm just trying to continue, like when I tell you it's minute to minute back re surrendering, really
sing surrendering. So I thought, you know, what, if they want want to come, it will be what it will be. And what do you know? Just over here other side of having my husband home for five days and no hosting, great, Hey, So I do want to set the record straight that I do like to host because I found a lot.
I got a lot of support. They're like, I stress about having people over to Okay, I got.
A lot of support. People were like, and I said, I'm just nervous. I'm coming off like, yeah, got frigid, you know, Like I do enjoy it. I think I'm just in a season where I'm hosting three of the people I gave birth to, and that's enough for me.
It doesn't make you a frigid bitch, you know what I mean. Like every personality is different, and that's what I'm learning. I always kind of thought that about myself because I seem like kind of cold and stuff like that. But now I'm realizing through this and people reaching out like that's my personality too, and that's okay. Yeah, Like there's a lot of people like that. Like a lot of people would prefer to go to someone else's house then hosted their house, Like that's.
Not a yeah.
I'll just say this though too, Like when I met you, Catherine, my first impression wasn't you were cold?
Or that you were right?
You know, I'm just thinking back, Yeah, like when I met you, I wouldn't have become friends with you if I thought you were old, right?
You know well, and I think too, you have a good personality for me in that situation. If someone is also like me, it's harder. It's harder for both of us because we're fine once we get to know each other.
One of the other girls that it was kind of in another acquaintance group where it's then you guys just like stand next to each other and don't say anything because it's.
Not who it is.
Yes, I can already just say yeah, a lot for you when we met.
That's what I'm saying. Y'all's personalities make it easier for me because if you're like me and it's hard Channa and I like Velcrow two, well, yeah, and that can work too. But again, I remember meeting Jane. I was like, oh, this is easy because she remembers and I don't remember feeling like you were closed off at all.
But again, you'll make it easier for me.
Yeah, if someone is also right, but it's awesome, kind nice, awkward at first, then we're just awkward and we don't know what to do. We don't have to until we get to know each other and then we're fine.
Okay, do has your has that changed for you?
What being in because I've noticed me shifting a bit.
The surrendering or the being in people's space.
Not being like even within work situations normally be like I'm a hugger, like I'm a lot more like highness to meet you, like I'm more I'm not as.
You're more reserved. Now for sure, I would, I definitely am. I think a lot of that changed with marriage, depressed into because we kind of the irony of like the roles that you play and just like I had a really good boss actually when I worked at the record label and we kind of had a talk where he was like, listen, as I've always been the hugger, and he's like that could be perceived as not professional at times, and I'm like, oh, you know, broke my little Michigan heart, and I feel like.
We come from a state of hugger. When I was doing my radio to Yeah, the label like basically said because I would hug the program directors. So some liked it and others were like they didn't add my song because I was like hugging them, or like because I was too friendly. I was like, I was just giving them a hug. I'm just a Michigan. A note like I'm frankly that was.
So interesting, but a little bit in the label's defense, these radio guys would think because you gave them a hug that they were going to score, and when they did not score, I'm just going to be flat out honest with you, then they were like, f you, I'm not adding the song.
So that was a same discussion, and that's bad.
It's so messed up. And it literally we basically had to tell you to not be yourself because these men would get it in their head after a hug. And I remember once you walked past a radio guy not realizing it. I'll never forget this. I think we were in Vegas, okay. I just remember being told because I was with you, and I was like, we did not I did not see him, but he was mad that we walked past and did not.
Say hello, then didn't play my song because we don't have enough TI.
I just want to defend that, Like it was not like, hey, just don't be a hugger. It was these radio guys. I'm sorry. They made it really hard for artists to beat themselves.
Well. I remember getting side hugged ones by a pastor because I was a hugger. Right, And then that's an awkward moment too, you know, like I just assumed everyone's a hugger and I went to be like, thank you so much. And that's a completely cool difference sided me. I understand it. Yeah, but at the time, I was like, well, that's weird. You know. I'm definitely super lovely still with women, not even as much. I feel like, I'm just I hate this word, but I am a little more guarded
in general, and it's not closed off. I'm just I think as we get older, the filter and the scanner and the discernment gets a little sharper.
So we're I think mine came from like, yes, we are Midwest girls, and that was I feel like we were it. If I wasn't that way, then I wouldn't be liked or I wouldn't be perceived as this really easy going, fun Midwestern girl, and so I felt like I had to And then but it was like almost like a not an overkill because it is my personality. I do would rather hug than shake someone's hand, and
I'm more reserved now, yeah, because I don't. I would almost did too much then because I was trying to portray this like easy free loving person.
Absolutely, I would agree. Yeah, and I think.
It's okay to you know, I think it's okay either way. I mean, your personality is your personality. But if you feel more comfortable not having to overcompensate, not having to be overly and by all means be more reserved, you know, would everybody be themselves?
Yeah? I love you. I want to hug you right now. It's hard for me. Hard for me, I would though there wasn't two microphones. Oh yeah, I love how you guys just like look back to me. So happy your bag? No, I know there's not smiling.
Oh my updates are literally I feel like I'm getting old.
Oh.
Also, when I was could have been at the movie I threw my back out for the first time ever Welcome to forty. It was awful and I could not walk.
How'd you do it?
You tried to crawl? Nothing, that's the thing.
What are you bending over?
I was making food and I like walked to the pantry and all of a sudden, I was like, oh, my back hurts. I was like, uh a, nick, I can't walk? Did it just like seas up? I guess I do not know what happened. It was like two days of barely being able to walk.
It was awful.
And then this morning I woke up and have a freaking crook in my neck and I was like, what is wrong?
Like that just falling apart. We got perimenopas, broken bags, like as I got my tailbhone drama back. So I'm really in case. This isn't good posture. This is me my backside. We're changing the name from wind Down the forties and.
That's the problem is that's my Worry's my wine about it? Maybe it's wind down.
And can't get up? Maybe that's the new title.
It was so.
Badly agree that you get it?
Yeah, because now I get it because I've never had a back.
Yeah, I got promotion. You will always.
It's like you are always maybe always, but you might have just tweaked it a bit. But this is this the beginning, This is the beginning of then friend on this uplift, I'm I'm getting a back oblation, speaking of.
Back, so what is that?
Yeah? I feel scary.
So I was going to get it done before the movie, but you have to do these ablasion tests so you can't. They basically they put a needle in your back. So I went to the back doctor finally because I'm like, I can't sleep, it hurts, it's a constant looking pain, and I need to know about this bellow our back. So I've I'm here. I had an L three L four dis bulge that I've been dealing with. I finally a year almost a year later, because it happened in August.
I went to the back doctor a couple of months ago and I was like, I can't sleep, I'm I'm just in pain, and I'm this is so uncomfortable every time I feel it. Every time I'm going to my right side in my back and it shoots down my leg. So he takes the X ray, he looks at my MRI and he's like, I actually think it's because it's connected to the you know, it's the nerve. He's like,
I think it's this is what your problem is. And they're they're very good with not doing because once you have a back surgery, you're just it's not good.
So I know this is yes, resident rod Toading back.
So he's like, I think you'd be a really good candidate for an ablationon. So what they do They do two tests where they're going to put a needle in my back to where the nerve is, and they're going to put light a cane in it. If that works, that's what the problem is. And then what happens is I do one more test of light a caine with
a needle. If my symptoms are seventy to eighty percent better, then they'll go forward with the full ablazion, which they go in with this needle and this thing, and they fry off my nerve. So I essentially I lose that nerve to go and I'm like, great, like something needs to be done. So I have that oblazion rescheduled for the tester and a weak or so, so I'll let you know how that goes.
Sounds really painful to me.
I but I just don't, you know, I mean, like I don't even care. But it's basically like an epidural thing going in there, and like again, so probably can't get it.
Hopefully not. Okay, So right now I'm in I'm like, I can't sleep, you guys. First of all, as if, as if in our ripe forties we needed any other reasons to lose sleep, you know, Like I'm already three o'clock in the morning, you know, but it's like it's hurting so bad. It's like burning the tailbone. And I think it might be from four flights and forty eight hours when I did that key West quick trip. But that's also really ridiculous, and that what's wrong with your tailbone? Well,
it's just after the baby. It's brained after delivery. But I got myself back to a pretty good position, I thought. But now we're it's like hurting it keeping me awake. Oh, I know. I'm interested to know your back, doctor is. We're gonna do it great. Over in Nashville, Franklin, I hit Bonum Blaze. It's Ablazion is really aggressive. It's like outer space to me. I don't know why. Yea anyways, So that's.
Our So that's that's the haven we figure out if you're a menopause yet.
Stay tuned. I did my blood work yesterday with Nate.
So I walked in there and I'm like, hey, buddy, how you say every day?
Yeah? Hey buddy, I was like, what is going on?
Uh?
Yes, so TVD mine mine's back today too. Okay, that means I'm next. Yeah, so let's move on to wine about it.
Every time that was my whine about.
Yeah, I did get a promotional package in the male promotional package.
Not a promotional package from one of our favorite b our our I was like, and you, guys, I almost sent you the picture. It literally is all It's not just perimenopausal support, it's literally menopause important. And I thought it was sweet when they reached out because I'm an a you know, I'm an ant client of theirs and they send it to me and I was like, Okay, they really we're really just into a whole other chapter. Like I mean, all of it is literally the support,
and I thought this is something I know. I know. Are you guys struggling with getting older?
I mean, besides my body hurting, no, I don't want my body to fall apart, but besides that.
Not really.
I don't know.
Actually, so I would like to say I'm not, but I might be a little. Yeah, depends what day of the month, right, But I would say, like a few weeks ago, I was really struggling because I don't I starting to feel it's weird to I don't feel my age except for the bust and tipping, but like, you know, like I don't I feel like we're I don't know, we're just constantly all operating in like this way. I
don't I feel like we're all very young. We're in shape, we're trying, you know, like we're taking supplements and we're like we tease that were in the forties. But for the most part, I mean, we're all just like little go getters. And I just hit this time in the day. I looked in the mirror and I was like, well, that can't be accurate, you know. So I don't know, you I think I'm teetering.
Yeah, I love I love being in my forties, but I know what comes after forties, and I think that goes ooh. But I also think there's maybe peace in
the fifties. Think about it, you know, and so that's yeah, but maybe there is, because right now is such a I think what I need to kind of focus back on is I don't want the forties to go by and it be so rushed and chaotic and crazy because of the life that we have with the young young right and it's just like a So I want to try to find like I want to try to find a and I do enjoy it, but I also don't want to feel like I keep missing just not having
like honest not having deep conversations in the connection, missing the connection that makes sense.
Way less deep. But I have been like thinking about cutting my hair for a long time just because it's Pam just cut there and so I but it's weird, like it's just a weird thing because I'm like, well, you don't want to be the older Yeah, you don't want to be the older girl, like right now it's crazy long. But I'm also like, I just it's like I don't want to be the older girl with way too much you know, that's always kind of a creepy vibe when sorry, I'll just just prepare myself for the
DM as I say things. But you know, when it's like super long and and you're older and it just doesn't look as healthy. But then I also I'm like, well I'm now at that age or if I cut it short, is it hot? Or did I just put myself into category? Right?
M right.
It's hard tricky times navigating, you know, it's interesting. I just did you see that post by Candice Beret? I think that's how you say she just cut her too. Yeah, but did you see her post about how she gets all the DMS about looking old.
Oh because she doesn't, because she.
Does any like botox and stuff like. It's that kind of stuff that I'm like, like, I don't think any of us look really old yet, you know, like we haven't started, and I don't think she does. I think she looks beautiful, but I do think that will be kind of hard. I don't really care about well image stuff so much. But also if you had people coming at you, like telling you you look old and you look bad all the time, like that would suck.
Like I look tired, hurts my heart, you know. Yeah, I did see this thing. I wish I could find it really quickly, could play it for you guys, because I saw this on Instagram and it was the most silly but enlightening. Should I try to find it? If you have yes, okay, because it literally plays right into this and it was almost like a perspective that I don't know that we.
Well, I think it's so I was speaking of perspective. There was something online that has been going around where it's an eighty year old body basically woke up and got to have the forty year old body again, and it was like it didn't. It didn't wake up in pain, it didn't wake up you know, aches and all that stuff.
It got to wake up to a you know, a toddler at home and kids, and he's like in that person, they enjoyed all of that, and they instead of maybe skipping words when reading the bedtime story, read every single word.
Because that it was.
So it's basically like, enjoy the moment that you're in because when you're going to get there eighty, you're going to wish that you could have that snapshot again and like that moment again.
Yeah, so I love I love that period.
But to the Candice thing, I noticed it the first time because this has been it's been now a year that I haven't done botox, and I noticed on this last movie because the makeup artist, you know, obviously was putting makeup on my face and not wear makeup a lot, so I don't really see the creases. But when she was, you know, putting a decent amount of makeup on my face and towards the middle of the day, I was like, damn, like the makeup creases where my wrinkles are or my
eyes are. I was like, this is I was like Hayley. Sorry, girl. I was like, come, I'm wrinkling out. She's like no, She's like I love it. She's like, I love your wrinkles. And I'm like, oh, but seeing it was was challenging and so I still have just debated what I was going to what I'm going to do with that piece.
But yeah, I just missed the day of us being able to age and like it be. Everyone is aging and everyone has wrinkles and it's beautiful. But now it's like, well, shit, can I age normally when everybody's getting botox? Which I've done botox. I'm not against it, yeah, just but it makes it that harder. Like if we were all in our forties and we all had wrinkles and it didn't
you know what I mean. It's kind of like we do it all together, but then when you have all these people who are doing all of that, it's like you can't. Then it starts to make you feel like you need to. I'm really going to try to find this. It's so good.
The person that posted it, it's not on their story anymore, but it is literally this and the way he frames it is just so interesting because he's basically saying you can try, you could do all of that to look twenty, but we're just gonna know that you're sixty trying to look twenty. Right, No one's gonna think this guy's twenty years old. They're just gonna think you're a sixty year old that wants to look twenty. It was kind of like that perspective, and I was like, wow, okay, yeah,
would you ever not do botox? I don't think so. I don't know. I'll say this. I you know, obviously during pregnancy didn't, and this time I was like wow, because I haven't seen a non botox forehead in a long time. It had been like five years. It's also strange to me, even for myself, that I do that, because I also I am so holistic in all the other areas of my life that I'm like, but then I'll
just shoot my wrhead of bacteria. But I do just I love a clean forehead, so I don't know, like I'm clear, but I love watching women age, so.
I feel love women with wrinkles and like personality to their faces. Well I didn't.
I just had this kind of heart to heart with myself because I'm forty three and I thought, how long do I do this? You know, like I don't want to be I don't want to be fifty trying to look like I'm forty. I have really great genetics. My mom and my grandmother have beautiful skin, so it's like, I mean, even when my grandma passed away, she didn't look to her age. She was just stunning. So I thought, maybe it's just time. But I don't know when that happens.
Yeah.
Hm. I remember running into uh Jesse Decker's mom and I was like, you look beautiful, she said, I stopped all this and I was like, I wouldn't even know, but you look stunning. And I think there's something to be said for women that are aging that when you do too much you do to me, they always look older, you know. And when yeah, but also again, do what you want to do to your face and know all
the things. And I'll probably do botox again, I think, I don't know, maybe not get started, rancombized some creams that Nate just gave me, so TBD. My mom's never done it a day in her life, and.
She looks great. She looks so young, So I do think it's tricky too, like for me I get really it gets very wrinkly, like it's it would be at resting wrinkly listen again, whatever. But there is a lot of things we can I'm learning about right now internally that helps support all of that too, so that maybe we don't treat it topically and we treat it more internally.
I mean, I use my little blooming thing that I do the ads for. I got my red light. I'm just show you the creams. If it ends up working, I'm gonna try it first to see. I use the bloomy too because you said it, and I use your code welcome crowl.
Oh.
And you know what, I have nothing to whine about.
It's a fine day. That's I love it.
I mean, I got plenty that I could, but I feel really good. I feel grateful, schools all rest over. And this is what I'm gonna say. So this is like my my grateful about it. Okay, Okay, there we go. I love summer and I know that it's so crazy and Catoch and the kids are home, and I love it.
I I don't know, I just I love summertime. And I think it's I'm looking forward to it and that is and I'm excited because there's a few things too that might be coming up in the pipeline that I just would be towards the end of summer, and it's like, all right, I'm gonna just really hone in focus on the kids. And I love that time when I'm not working.
You know, I used to not love summer so much when they were younger. I love that, y'all do. But now I love it. Yeah, Now I like really look forward to it. I mean, I'm an uber driver, but I love it.
Yeah. I think Kiden drives now, so that makes it easier. I also just think there's just such a you know, you've obviously we've all seen it, but like for you and I were halfway through, Kramer, We're we're nine summers into our eighteen summers. Yeah, I know, I don't know how Like I'm emotional for neighbors that have sent me graduation announcements. I'm like, this isn't even my child. Yeah, and I'm still emotional.
So when Maria Pam's daughter had her fifth grade walk through at a school, I was like, because, I mean I cried at church the other day. Because Jolie is now finally at the age that goes down to the front of the thing, and I was like, I've seen that when Dakota started that, like legend just wrapped up his games on the little fields and we've been out there for almost four years, that little four diamond, you know, and I just was like, and I'm watching, I'll get emotional.
So ridiculous he's like six, but I'm like watching all of these like little cherub but like wild things just like run on the field and like it's so Sandlot feeling, and I'm like, man, it.
Just is like I feel like I am so fully present and intentional with these kids in a way because I know I've heard it a million times we all have how fast it goes. But I stood out there other night and I was like, I don't want to go to another concession stand, you know, Like it's so silly,
but it's such a magical season for them. Like you want them to get bigger and get better and have to move up, and you want the you know, the balls to just be crushed so far that like we're checking deductibles on cars now because they can't their home run balls need bigger fields. And it's awesome. It's just so bittersweet, like I'm about to have a second grader and a fourth grader and the baby's about to be two in like three weeks. That's weird. Yeah, and fast.
Each season is so fun and so different though, and just so enjoyable in different ways.
I know, I just am. I am soaking up the hem giving me the shout out at first base and the you know, like I know that they'll look different, and I think I never we still have that, but it's like, oh, it's different for sure. It's just that like like over the top, you know, like it's awesome. Yeah.
Chrissy teak and reveals she's let alcohol back into my life.
It's a beast.
She goes on to say that she was talking on a podcast and saying, hollywoodakerd change my life, change my perspective, and change how I view the effing beast that is alcohol. But to have to admit all of to you that I've led it back in my life, to let a lot of you down, oh I feel it deeply. I was so proud every time one of you told me on the street the Holly and I made you want to rethink drinking, reframe drinking. I still am the truth is, I don't know what I'm doing. I one hundred percent no.
I like me better sober. I one hundred percent no. I get more done. I absolutely feel better in my body without it. And I'm one hundred percent pissed that I can't be normal and have a cock with my husband on VAKA without it turning into eight and feeling like so a few things with us A. How do you guys feel that she came out talking about this and what are your thoughts on that.
I like that she's kind of talking about it while she's in it. I mean, I know that can't be easy, and it wouldn't be easy for a lot of people, but I think it's kind of cool for everyone who may be struggling with this to kind of see her ups and downs and kind of see, you know, the in between, and because she doesn't know what she's doing, she's trying to just do it on her own, and you know, I think that that's cool. I can't imagine being in the position of not being able to just
have one drink, you know. I mean, I've never been in that position. It's never been hard for me to have one drink and stop. It's never. But there are a lot of people who you know, they have one and then they have eight, like she said, and that's scary. So I think it's good that she's talking about it, and I hope for her say that she can get back to being sober, because you know, having eight cannot be healthy.
Sure, I didn't realize she had an issue with this.
To be honest, I didn't either. But I don't follow her. Yeah, I don't follow herself.
I remember that I don't like her.
I just don't.
Yeah, I don't think I follow her either. I think I used to, but I think I kind of just unfollowed a bunch of different like celebrities and stuff. But I remembered seeing that she was sober, and I was like, oh, I didn't know she had an issue. So I did see that when she had, when she had.
Said that, I mean, I love it when anyone can take accountability for things. I'm dealing with something right now where a person won't take accountability, and it's it's and I had had to send a text message to this person to say nothing, nothing will change if you don't hold yourself accountable and accountable to other people. Now, and this person's like, you just want me to scream it
from the rooftops. I'm like, I actually don't. But if you if someone asks you what happened and you lie to them, that is completely feeding your addiction of lying and also feeding the problem of what truly happened, Like you should be honest if someone asks you what happened, hold yourself accountable, like be accountable for your actions. And you know, I think she doesn't have to share this, but the fact that she is I have mad respect for because she's wanting, I think, in that change and
you know, and she's trying to figure it out. And I think that's a very vulnerable place to be to be like, this is what happened, and this is I don't know what I'm trying to figure it out. And I think that is that's a place of someone that is open and willing to have growth.
I agree. I agree.
And as far as alcohol, I mean, you know, I Alan hasn't had a drink in I think over two months. He started it as like a month journey thing, and you know, he's like, I don't know if I'll ever have a drink again. And it is not that he has a problem, but he also knows that it's kind of that where it's like it's not just one. Yeah, you know, it's always like more after and is that healthy?
Note because he wakes up and he feels like crap, but he you know, and and so I mean he mentioned something like maybe when we go on a vacation, I'll have one at the pool or something like that, or you know, he just likes the way he feels better. And honestly, the last time I had a glass of wine was two movies ago or the last what was it, West Virginia movie, and it was I don't like the how I feel. I feel like crap. But it doesn't
mean I'm never going to drink again. But I also can stop at two glasses of wine a ukro NIGHTE like, I'll have wine for you. That's probably the first time I'll drink since that March time or whenever. Yeah, And and I went on a date and I had a half a glass of wine.
That's the only time I drink wine now.
Yeah, And it's like there's a piece of me that misses, like even last night, I goes, God, I could really use a glass of wine, and I almost did, but I Honestly, I don't have bottles here anymore. Like I don't keep my wine here anymore. So I've saved a lot of money.
Now fine wine.
You know, the only thing Jana Kramer spent money on ladies and gentlemen was wine. Why really good wine? Really good or not at all?
That's how I roll. Yeah, I mean, honestly, it's not. It's true.
I mean, like I've I have bottles in my thing for like my mom when she comes, but I won't. I don't my mom will drink the fifteen dollars bottles. I don't like those. There's no point for me to drink. I want the nice ones that taste really good.
And so.
Yeah, so I went in there and I'm like, I wonder if I have anything in there. The only thing in there was a Camus Special Select, which is my favorite, but it was one of those big magnum ones, and like, I'm not wasting that for one So I was like, I'll save that for a girl's uker night. But yeah, so I just am like, there are times when I do want it, but it's not ever, it will never be how it was right when I used to drink every single night.
Yeah, one thing for me, And she kind of said this in there. I don't have to be in situations anymore where I'm uncomfortable to where I need it, and she had mentioned that that was me. Yeah, and it wouldn't be eight, it would be one, but I would need a glass of wine to socially loosen up, you know. And so I'm not in those positions as much anymore. And I think that's been huge for me because I
don't I don't like that. I don't like that feeling like that you have to have alcohol to be able to talk to people and feel comfortable, like I never liked that feeling. So it's interesting she brought that up because she's in that position a lot. I'm sure if she has any kind of social anxiety at all, that's uncomfortable. But I do enjoy when we are social, which we talked about last episode. We haven't been very social. I do enjoy having a drink when i'm social. Yeah, I
just think that it's fun. I'm not going to drink at home by myself, but when we're together, it just it makes it feel it just I don't need it, but I think it's fun. So I think the more social we are. I might drink a little bit more, but I love a good glass of wine. I super love a good glass of wine with dinner, like a great.
I know, right, But like even that, I fall in the habit though, which is I gotta be careful of that, so I can fall in the habit of having the glass of wine every night.
So I can't. Yeah, I can't either, really well, yeah, I just can't anymore. It's good and.
I don't anymore, but I could be that I love like when you say you yeah, yeah, I.
Love it too. But that's how it's meant to be. I think it's like it paired and enjoyed and all the things. I just it's like, now, what do I like better? Sleeper? Wine? Sleep? You know. So I'm kind of like even in this season we're at two. Yeah, like even when Preston's home, He's like, baby, tonight, are we going to open up a good bottle of wine? Like we just don't drink at home. I'm like yeah. And then we get to like thirty and he's like
popcorn and I'm like, I might have an ollipop. Oh man, this is and on this episode of being old, I will say though I used to love a dirty martini. Your girl over here a dirty Voka martini was Oh, like, I do like cocktails. I loved it. And since the baby, I cannot do it. I want to be able to do it, and I can't do it for some reason. Are any of you guys following the Ditty case a little bit? Yes, I'm not, I am following. I shouldn't even say this, but fifty cent? What have you followed?
Fifty cents? He is going after Diddy? Oh good, I would say that. Yeah, is he? I'm going to be on the stand, I don't think. So he's in the court, he's outside of the courthouse right now with the shirt really fifty cent. So he's convinced it's free Diddy these shirts everyone's wearing. Oh wait, this is my extent of knowledge. Wait, he's for Ditty.
No, no, he's saying the free Diddy.
He's saying people are getting paid to wear the free Diddy shirts outside of the courthouse, and that those people there's no possible way those people really care or I know. And so that to frame again, like just to enlighten media, our brains. Media, right, we see people with a sea of shirts to say free Diddy, and and he's saying those shirts are supplied those people or getting paid to do it? Are they? I don't know, but that is that wouldn't have crossed my mind if I saw it,
to be honest, Oh it would have mine. I know, it would have kick cats out of the bag. I mean, there's just so there's a lot stuff where it's.
I've the things that I've seen what they're they're talking about, what the prosecution that the people that are going to go against Cassie and say well, this is what she did. And there's nothing more frustrating than when that person tries to then go after the victim to be like, well you did X, Y and Z. It's like, did anyone watch the tape? Can we play can we play back
the hotel tape? I remember when I went to court for the case that the guy tried to kill me, his lawyer goes, did you have to drink that night?
And I was like, long drink?
I know, yeah, wild like and I just remember going, is this really?
Like?
My lawyer was like what He's like, Well, because she might not have an impaired I was like, did you see the bruises? Like you know what I mean, Like I had to like one maybe or two he said, well you were impaired then, so what your statement to I mean, I just was like, how how does that? How do I don't and I'll never understand. I know everyone has to have a lawyer to have the person to fight for them. Fine, but it's to Oh, it's just dirty.
It also feels a little guilty to me to have to go and attack someone like that. Like I don't even know if I'm going to phrase that correctly, but if you have to go and like start attacking in these attacking someone's character in that way, that makes me feel like he's got even more that he's Well.
That's always going to be the case. They're always going to do that. They're always going to try to make them look not credible. That's their job, that's what they're going to do. And I think that's you know that going into it, probably if your lawyer has prepared you for that, But like, also, are you really prepared to be attacked when you're the victim.
But you know, my thought is if she's willing, she has to know every time she knows, and she's still unafraid, Yeah, then there's some fish to fry because she she knows the truth, and she knows all the things they're going to try to say about her. She knows all her insecurity, she knows all of the dark parts, and she still doesn't care whatever that is, whatever that is is worth being brought to light to her than him going another day.
Yeah, And so many people that have been involved are too scared or do not want to get involved. But then the other two women, and I don't know their names, I apologize, but I had just read this, but the two women who apparently were involved, and one had said, you know, I was here and he did this. We were both there, this is what happened X, Y and Z. And then the other girl came out and was like, well,
that wasn't what I remembered. Well, now they're saying that he paid her off, you know, for her to come out and say that's not how it happened. That's not how you know, And so it's like, how do you even know? That's where I get so overwhelmed by these cases, and I love to follow them, but my brain just gets so reloaded because it's like what's truth and what's not? When it's these high powerful people who pay people off, you know. So it's and it can be both ways.
I mean, you can be paying someone to say something bad too, So it's it's a struggle for me in these situations to really sift through all of the information. But yeah, I know there was an article about I don't know, there's been so.
Much but that it's a lot and it's dark. Yeah,
it is. And I think what's interesting is probably the three of us two have at least a little bit of a perspective when it comes to music industry and how easy some of this could be to be true, and like the people wanting their break and they're wanting their big chance and the things that are promised and if you just do this, and how easy your integrity can get compromised, or who you know to be can be compromised because you're so wrapped up in the chase
of it or the promise of it, or just well.
The one woman I was talking about, he handled her finances, he had her record deal, he had all the things, So like, can you blame her for going okay when he says, you know, if he paid her to say that, That's not how it happened. Sure, part of me is like, can you blame her? I mean, like, what is she supposed to do?
Yeah?
You know, she probably has no one in her life, not saying she doesn't, but probably Key's promised her this, He's got her finances, her record deal, all the things. It's just so deep and so convoluted that you almost can't blame the people that weren't able to speak up against it. Yeah, it's a lot.
Listener advice. I'm a big fan of the podcast and love listening to your advice every week. I found myself in a situation I could use some advice on. My ex husband and I got divorced three years ago because I found out he was cheating on me with multiple women. We have a good co parenting relationship and have moved
on to new relationships. Recently, my daughter and I went on a who I share with him and I went on a weekend trip with my ex husband and oh sorry, and my ex husband gave her his iPad to use to watch movies on the airplane. Long story short, my exes logged into his text messages on his iPad and while my daughter was using the iPad, there were a lot of inappropriate and graphic text messages that kept popping up. She told me about seeing a gross picture and I
instantly took the iPad away. I went to the messages to see what she was talking about, and there I found multiple text threads to different women that confirm my husband is cheating on his current girlfriend. Sorry, my ex husband is cheating on his current girlfriend. I am so disgusted by him, but also not surprised that he hasn't changed. My question for you girls is what do I do now knowing this information? Do I tell his girlfriend that
he's cheating on her? She's also supposed to move in with him soon, and I don't want my daughter to go through another broken relationship when this all blows up. Please give me all your advice on what I should do. Thank you, Love you girls.
Kat Well, First of all, couldn't care less about the current girlfriend. I go into mom mode. You have this stuff on an iPad you gave my child. I would absolutely lose my mind. I would do anything in my power to make sure that that could absolutely never happen again. You know, when a child sees pornographic material, their life is never the same and when it happens young, it usually becomes a major problem.
So something left untreated, unhelped, unhealed.
Yes, yes, yes, so that would be my focus. My focus would be what do I can I do in my power to make sure that this never gets seen in front of my child Again, I don't care about the girlfriend personally whatever you know, well the moving in, But at the same time, like to me, it's just fixed that problem and what you have to do first for that. I don't know what the legal situations are and what you can do, but I would do anything to have my child not.
Be around that. Yeah, isn't there something I mean that has to fall into some sort of neglect category? I would think from a parenting perspective, I think abuse of some sort, even if it's indirect, because that's just not appropriate. Yeah, that's a really tricky position, especially with a girlfriend moving in.
I care about the girlfriend knowing because if you and this is from the mom point of view too, because you don't need more transition and more In my brain, Cramer, we should probably let you speak to this because you are is someone that co parents. But my heart of hearts is that it's just another transition another person they have to know that they probably don't get to keep, and specifically if they're moving into the house that is, that's a lot for children to process, good or bad.
It can be magical, and it's still a lot for them to process. So someone's moved in and then finds us out and then potentially moves out, then we're just this is just a lot for kids. Yes, it's a protective kid.
My guess is that girlfriend's not even gonna care, not even do anything about it. I think, Kat, and I just feel like I've just feel like it's and we've all been in that position. Women don't just listen at first to coming because.
The usually a man who cheats is so good yep at covering up his lies, to cover up his lies, to cover up his lies, and the person that he's with is used to that manipulation and that cycle, and it's usually the person will say, don't listen to the ex wife because she's fucking crazy. Usually that person doesn't like the co parent because the X has brainwashed the person to not like the person the last wife. So to your point, Kat, yeah, I mean I'm sure I
would if if I was in this situation. A hundred percent go, I'd go mom mode with what I need to do with that all, you know, the messages and everything, but beyond that, like I would, I would because it is I don't want the more change for the kids and you know, for the daughter, So I would. But what I would say to tell this person is screenshot and have proof, because if not, they're gonna yeah, They're going to talk around it, and then the person will most likely be like.
This person's about to say all this, but this isn't.
True, and then you're going to see just more lies. And it's really good information for that person to have to have that guy lie to them and then see the inner workings of how they lie and it's like no, no, but here's the proof, right that wasn't Yeah, you know, And so I think you get a lot of information in that in that piece, but and it's not and it's it's also to end up protecting the kids to like you said, yeah, I know you don't care about the girl.
I mean, I'm not saying I don't. I think I just would focus solely on that first. Yes, not saying I wouldn't tell a girlfriend necessarily. I just think that that's kind of the least of my worries in that moment, m just because it can be so detrimental to their their health and their growth.
And yeah, but that is a that's a sticky situation to be in. And also, you know, isn't it just great validation when that I mean, there's a piece in this where it's like it happened again, and there's a there's a lovely validation that comes with that to go, Okay, it wasn't me and this is just who he is.
Yep. And I also would advise to just go slow. I think the protective part of us, at least in my experience, for anything, the protective part of me just goes leads and it does. It's almost animalistic. And it's like I would just encourage you to get all of your ducks in a row, super tidy, like Creamer saying, get the footage, document it, make sure you have and
own those screenshots and that stuff. So that because there's a manipulator like this knows how to manipulate in ways I mean, in so many intelligent ways they manipulate, but then also in so many ridiculously ask nine ways to leave something like that, don't get it to it to be so stupid. Yeah, cheaters are stupid. They are. Yeah, sounds so. But also just go slow, like really be intentional and thorough is what I want her to hear. Well, ladies, this was nice to be back together again. Welcome and
thankful to have you Kramer. Let's get that summer schedule going. Guys, here we go, last week of school.
And we've already got one thing on the books. What's up for her to hanging out? Oh yeah, see, look at us. We made it happen.
And Catherine's like, do I have to dress up?
I know, making me dress a hybrid?
We're in a hybrid. Okay, okay, bye bye.
M hmm