A Delicate Waltz with Jessie James Decker

the like, let's play the guessing game. Who is Cat in love with? Is it someone you met on Hinge? Absolutely not? Also Hinge lasted all of Like, does he have any kids? He does? Oh? Does he have one kid? Nope? Two kids? Does he have three? Yes? Yes? Three? Does he want more kids? Absolutely not. Is that part of the reason that you're in love with him? It's actually scheduled? Oh really? Oh yeah? Wow? Okay, so there's a great amount of intimacy in your relationship. Well we have to

worry about snipping. Well, that's great that we've become intimate with who y'all are so funny? Okay, So Nick and I are not getting divorced. Some people here have called it. You know. Also, how many times did I say are

you sure? Are you sure? Because everyone thinks that I'm like the reason, like the chat's blowing up, wow yeah um, because it's like literally everyone was like she just wanted to be single, Janna Janna as the reason because she just likes miserable people, like she wants to be miserable without people. And I'm like, y'all, I'm like, after every like after the more work you've done, I'm like, Kavin, are you sure? Are you sure you don't want to

be back together with Nick? Like? And the funny thing about it is like I really kept towards the end a lot of that to myself, a lot of it, like we didn't even talk about it that much, like right in the beginning though I did though for sure, I'm saying before like making the decision, when people are like you like convinced me or whatever, it's like we

didn't even really divorced about it. Yeah, I know. That's why I was like, well, I remember when you came over and I was like what, yeah, Like, I mean through the years, I wish and discussed, but yeah, I just didn't really talk to anybody about it. It was like me and my therapist, you know, so whatever to those people. But those people call people miserable as they sit behind their keyboards and have opinions about everybody as

his life. Yeah, but anyway to shame. So anyway. Yeah, So, um, long story short, Um, about a month and a half ago, month, a little over a month ago. UM, we just kind of started working on things. You know, long story short. I won't go into all the details, but um, obviously everyone knows a lot of our issues, you know, stemmed around me and my lack of vulnerability, vulnerability and intimacy,

and that's just something I knew I had to work on. Um. And as I was starting to kind of work on myself and a lot of prayer, praying about it a lot, a lot, UM, I just kind of kept going back to him like he was my safe place, and I was like, oh, I have to start here. You know, there's things I need to say to him. Even if you were to not get back to kind yeah, there was not. At first. That wasn't the goal. Yeah, the goal was just to open up, tell him how I felt.

In the beginning, it was like we're getting divorced, after fifteen years, and I need to tell him. I think he's a great dad. I think that he did was a great husband, you know those things. But as it kind of went on and I was able to like dig into my emotions, it's like I realized like that I didn't want to lose him, you know, that he was my best friend. I just wasn't a too open up and I needed to work on that. So I

started to work on that. But it just happened to be that I wanted to work on it with him, you know, And so it just kind of overtime. So I mean we were sneaking around because we don't want we didn't tell our kids. So it was like, you know, he had a rental and I had my house. Like we were literally like sneaking, Like he got a rental car. I was like chool. I felt like high school, but I never even did that and called a sack. I didn't either. I just said that I didn't do that

in high school. Either. Had fun at thirty eight, but like we went on, I planned like a little vacation at the beginning, or just like a night out and I was like, wait, do we even get to ride together? Like where do I put my car? And we were going to meet at this one place, but like the whole town was there, so it's like we can't go there. We don't do town stuff. So we went to a gas station outside of town, parked my car, met and drove. You know, So but what have fun? Like so fun? Yeah,

and falling in love all her again. Yeah, when I think to like, I remember one of the times when it came over as a friend. My god, I don't know that, but like I remember him being like Catherine was vulnerably vulnerable with me for the first time, and I'm like, Nick, I'm like, well maybe y'all can you know And he's like no, He's like I don't think. He was like I don't know, but I'm like, like you were opening up, like he was like welcoming the

opening up, and I'm just like, I don't know. There's always a piece of me that actually it was just like that's why I kept saying, like I'm sure there's nothing there, like you don't mean to try because it's like he's because it's like you kept saying that he's my best friend, and I'm like, then what is the problem, right? So, yeah, you just need to. I mean like, yeah, well yeah, but I think it was the intendency block, right, Like I'll never forget you saying that to me. And You're like,

well do you think you could? And I was like nope, and I just shut down. I just put my wall back. I remember. I remember literally like I can't even talk about it. Um yeah, we're like as not as no. I was like, I love it. Speak time I talked about it, I would absolutely tear up. But I'm learning now. I guess it's just I know it. I'm very aware of it when I do it again. I remember in

the car, just like shut it down, you know. And so that's what I always did in our marriage, and so I mean, honestly, I know it sounds very cliche, but like I literally just get up every morning and I say the same prayer every morning, and it's just like it's a day by day thing for me. Just to keep my heart heart open is the biggest thing. And to just keep you know, pursuing it and showing up.

I mean I think that that's always There were always things that I knew I should do, that would pop into my head that I should say all those things and I just didn't do it. You know, we were just so far just like in our corners that I didn't do it and he didn't. You know, he gave up to It's like we both kind of gave up. Um, so anyway, so yeah, so now it's just like, so, what does the road look like now? You know, we did tell the kids, so the kids are aware. Um,

they were definitely starting to pick up on it. You know when we told them. My thirteen year old was like I knew it, you know. So I mean like so yeah, um, and what a inspiring thing for them to witness to. Yeah, that's what I'm like. That was like, I can't I was how happy were they? I can't imagine liked story the video. I have a video and an the best because I mean she cried throughout the day. I mean it was the sweetest thing. And she's constantly

like that makes me want to cry. She yeah, I mean she's constantly even now she's like, hey go his dad, Hey go hold his hand, hey go, Like she just so badly wanted to see affection, you know. Um. It's such good groundwork for them that before you go to the next thing, I just want to say something I

just wrote downside and forget it. I when I was looking on Instagram, I was like, I noticed, by the way, However, fifteen years that i've known you and Nick together, I've never seen your hand on his shoulder, arm and leg. And I was like, who crap. I was like Cat put her hand on his shoulder at the football game physical I was like, go, girl, go. I ran into them at a birthday party on Sunday and I was like, well, look who it is on the love seat, literally like

real side touching close. I mean I usually used to make my skin crawl. That sounds terrible, but that's what Mike was. He'd be like, every time you touched me, my skin crawls. And I'm like, oh, it feels really good for you to say that. It sounds terrible, but it's it's hard to explain it, truly, it's hard to explain. So is the road trying to figure out where the intimacy block comes or like what is like we've hit I think we've destroyed the intimacy block from my understand Honestly,

I think I was just able to. It started with just a very vulnerable conversation and it was hard and it was not easy to have that conversation. But once I was able to, and I literally broke down. I'll just be honest, like complete breakdown. At this point, I have nothing thing to lose kind of thing, you know, then it was just easier. Um. You know, of course, I you know, I think that's always going to be a part of me, and I think I'm always going

to have to constantly work at it. Um. And he's aware of that, and we have a lot of conversation about it. But I'm just you know, like sometimes I don't even notice it when I'm touching him. Now sometimes I have to tell myself to do it. It's kind of a mix, and I think that's okay to like I remember, like with Mike, it's like he's like I

have to physically like touch her leg. And as hard as it is for like me to like be like, well, why wouldn't you want to, It's like I know that he's like trying, and I think that's all Nick probably wants to. It's just like the effort put in where like the effort was lost, you know, well it becomes just like a habit over eventually, yeah, where you're just become business partners essentially a room exactly, and that's the tricky part because the undoing of that is so frustrating

and long and hope lost. Yeah, and I think, you know, it's it's interesting because, you know, I definitely choosing to not regret the road that we took to get there. Um, I'm definitely seeing as it's all was blessed and it needed to happen that way. I think I had to get out of the situation and be broken to be able to like fix you know, what was broken essentially. Um,

so I don't even regret that. You know. I was a little worried with the kids, like do I need to say I'm sorry that we put you through this? Blah blah blah blah. But it's like they're just happy, you know. And then they also saw us happy together, so it was you know, even so I think it's beautiful because they see all working like that's like what they should see is like you guys working towards it.

Because again, it's not good for them just to see happy parents never fighting, right, It's not good just to see them fighting all the time. So it's like to show the like work and the commitment like, I think that's like what they should see now. If it was we're gonna get divorced again and three and then again and back and forth like that back and forth would

be a lot on them. But like, you know, and that's why we waited, you know, we wanted you know, because that first week or so, it was very every conversation was if we do this, if we do this, and there was just like a point where it just kind of flipped. You know, I can't even explain it, but it just kind of flipped. It's like, we're doing this, you know, but we have to protect the kids. But because you know, at the end of the day, my whole thing was breaking the cycle because my parents did

not show affection. They had the same issues. I just had to make a decision on which way I was going to break the cycle. And it was either we get out of this and then we go get other relationships and they're going to have to be healthy to show them. And then once I was out of it, I was like, I have to fix this no matter what, you know, and I'd rather do it with him and then go back and show him them what a healthy relationship should look like. So I mean, really big, giant,

inspiring work. And I love personally that it happened the way it did for any like validation you may need from what a kid sees. I don't for some reason that that like the separation and you two learning yourselves enough and who's you are and then to come back to each other like that really is. That's like, that's

the redemption story. That's huge. And let me say to y'all, I didn't even know it, but I found out later that um my ten year old Emmy and another person in our not immediate family, but in our family had been praying together for us to get back together like often, and so it's such a cool thing to be to show her like, look like your prayers were answered, you talked to God, you asked a very specific thing, and it happened, and may not have happened, you know, or

if it didn't happen, like, but it was just a good time. It's a good thing to really show her. And I think it's been like really great for her because she's like, wow, like it really worked, you know. And I think it's like a good like sometimes you don't know what you have, but also like until you

lose it. You know. It's like I think not that you ever like took Nick for grien or something like that, but like it's like you realize, like, well he was my best friend and he was like sometimes you don't realize those things until like you lose it, like and then again, like you're saying, like, no matter what, you're gonna have to work on yourself, whether it's with Nick, whether it's with the guy from Hinge, like you know what I mean, like whoever it is. And I think

it's like that's the same thing. Like you know, I think we can all attest to that, like things within your marriage, things with me dating. I'm like, all right, like I have to change some stuff where I'm gonna keep picking the same I'm gonna keep doing the same thing. And it's like it's like we have we have to work on ourselves. It's not about the other persons about ourselves.

And you find this shopping. But I'm not super affectionate, so you told me that, I know, And so I just don't want you to feel alone in that, like I have to sometimes, which I think would be unexpecting from people that would listen to me. So I'm not like I am with the kids excessively, like they're going to need a therapist for opposite reasons that I did.

But like I'm not super affectionate with Preston enough either, and so I've had to work on that because I'm severely independent, and when I'm learning from Amy, our mutual therapist, is that my severe independence once was my survival tactic, but I don't need it anymore. And so I was going to ask you if that was but I didn't want to purchect if you will without a doubt that

was me. But like I don't have to be Christen from Michigan all the time in that way like heart, you know, like I toughen up and I can take care of myself. But it's like, but I can also just be like, hey that hurt my feelings or hey I need this. And what's interesting is in a relationship sometimes somebody needs to know that they're needed. Very elementary.

But for some reason I missed the memo that it served us when we needed it to serve us, and in our lifestyle, my lifestyle at home, it does serve me because he's gone so much that me being independent and handling life and you know, being mom and dad when I need to be a husband and wife when I need to be is like okay, but I'm also working on that well. Because independence, I've I've learned can

be a positive and such a negative. It can be both and it's just learning arts, yeah for sure, but yeah, absolut there's so much about independence that keeps serving me. But there's a lot of things I can just lay down and honestly, it was exhausting still using independence and pieces of that. You know what's like interesting too, like

just like hearing that and reflecting on it. Is like when I when there's someone that likes me, I'm actually not as affectionate, but like I'm more affectionate to those that like I feel like I have to like oh like proving, like proving or like to like chase to to chase like those people I'm more affectionate with. And the guys that like I know that would want to be with me, it's like, oh no, like this because it feels foreign, foreign to have the guys actually like

showing me affection Like no joke. Flowers showed up in my house and I was like, who are these from? You know what I mean? Like this must be before my grandpa. Like that guy doesn't send flowers, you know, so good guys do send flower But it's like I see that I'm just saying like that. I was like, oh my gosh. I was like, I'm actually not as touchy with people that like, because it's like it's scary in like foreign. Yeah. I think the fear of rejection.

If I went back through all my relationships and saw I really dated some winners, um, but there was so many like hurtful comments that I think my vulnerability got shut out a little bit. And I was like, well, I'll just guard myself then, because clearly you guys can't take care of me. And then I made it a gender wide pandemic in my brain. So then I was like, none of them can be trusted. And then God gave me.

God gave me legend, my son, and I was like, well, now here's a turn of events on plot twist, because I'm going to have to learn how to love this I can't wait to hear the messages you get about me saying that, but like, I'm gonna have to learn to love this gender so much more differently and fullhearted. No, I mean they're not all lumped together anymore. I had

to start picking them apart. You know, well I meant, I mean truly, I mean, and again, I don't want you to think like nothing is rainbows and butterflies, Like you're going to have hard times in your marriage. You're gonna have hard times, like you're gonna have great times. You're gonna amazing times. And it's like no matter what, like we all go through struggles and you guys, you know, worked it out and that's amazing, like truly, like that's like we don't get to pick how how it's broken

apart sometimes to be healed. Yeah, I just think that's great. And even when like in your healing and you're still like having to go like, oh this is like it's okay, Like you're not like it's not going to be like we have the best marriage ever. It's okay. You still

have like moments of like struggle and hard times. And I think that's a lot of people why people piece out so fast is because it's like, you know, you just and it's like because I mean, frick, as much as I would have loved to have pieced out, like the first time I heard about Mike cheating and like at the same time, it's like did the work to try?

And it's like sometimes like you try and you try and you try, and it's like then you realize, like, okay, it's not working, and it's like for y'all, it's like you you guys chose to like you're trying together, and like that's beautiful no matter what, like and you can know regardless, like how that's a thing, like you know that you try because I think and this is what I had said to you, And I was like, I I said, I think bee this, I said this so nick to and so but I I was always fearful

that you were going to regret leaving because you didn't try wholeheartedly. And I don't please, don't take that like no, it's the first thing I said. When I sat down with him, I started bawling and I was like, I don't feel like I tried. It was like there was there was two hard looking. I needed to make a decision because I'm a person that can't sit in that gray and I'm just like, I have to make a decision. This is hard and this is hard. Which hard am

I going to choose? And I just chose that one and then realized, wait a minute, I still have to do the other hard for myself, you know. So yeah, no, you're right. That's literally the first thing I said. And I think even in the trying, like Janna is saying, when you try, even in the in the very least, you're still going to meet yourself somewhere you've never met

yourself before. So even if it doesn't work relationship wise, you're still gaining momentum on yourself in your own coming back to yourself and all of it anyway, and now you'll know like you did everything, you tried everything, and you know, and don't feel like a failure if it's you know, who knows, like we just don't know, Like it's like as long as like that's why I was so not easy for me to because it as hard

as hell to walk away. But I was also like, I try everything, and I can rest in my head like I can you know, you left nothing on the field. But but if I would have left six years ago, I would have been like, I wonder if we could have made it work, like I really, But then there's also like some you know, so as I'm just saying, like, no,

matter what, Like, I'm proud of you for trying. Thank you, And honestly I understand your point of view more now because I think in the very beginning, we're like, why aren't you leaving? I'm like, but now I see that it's like, yeah, that regret and not that I necessarily was sitting in this place of regret, but you might have. Doubly, I think it would have caught up to you. Certainty turns in the regret. I think if you don't get certain about it, whatever way, you can understand why you

had to be able to say I tried everything. Yeah, like I totally understand that now. I honestly think scar tissue in a relationship is hot. I think it's beautiful and I think like a favorite, like I wish my X and I like could have been the like that could have been our redemption story story. But it's beautiful scar tissue. We do like stunning scar tissue, a lot

of it, But you really do. I mean, but you fought the good fight, no pun intended, but like, I don't forget to buy that book because it still matters. And my part was don't read the trust because that was all a lie. But it's to tell the truth. Let me tell you what all of that was a lie? Anyways, it was opposite day. I just feel like, but like you really did, like your scar tissue matters, because Jason Jolie have a scar tissue to fall back on. They saw two people go for it as hard as hard

as they could. They didn't see either. But anyways, moving on, we all have good therapists and great. I think that there's redemption stories for every marriage. Whether it stays that's what I'm saying, or gets back together, y'all will have a redemption story each of you. I'm excited. Thanks. Yeah, it's amazing. And I came out of came out of the bathroom and I was like baby cat Nick her fighting together, and He's like, halleluja. Knew it was gonna happen.

It's so funny how many people said that. Yeah. It's also interesting like when you get divorced, how many people you here go like, oh I saw that comment, or man, I don't know how you guys made it work. And then like to hear people say that about getting guy together. People saw that coming together. Okay, well we are about to get Jesse James Decker on. She's killing it right now and dancing with the stars, so let's get her on Jesse. You're in the dance studio. Hey, girls, let

me do full screen here. You look gor I know what is happening. God, thanks, I'm exhausted. Um yeah, you've been. I mean obviously, because I feel like even when we ran into each other, I don't know, a month or so ago, You're like, I'm just all over the place, and then you started texting me, You're like what about Like I was like, who is your hair person? Was dancing the stars? And like what she questions? And I was like, what's going on? Tell me everything? Um, but

were you hesitant to do the show? So the only reason why I was hesitant would just be like the time commitment, because you know we're I mean, you all know we're mothers and so like you've got kids, and that's the first thing that pops to my mind, is like, how the heck am I supposed to balance this? Because our kids conversed and so I think I needed to

understand the schedule. And as soon as I was told I was going to be able to practice and rehearse in Nashville, that was a game changer for me because I don't know if it's always been like that, right, Um, you know you you definitely could. I mean I remember

um when I did. I did most of mine um in l A. But the problem is I was touring to just like you know, you're doing shows you and I think you know, we, Katherine, you know, had to cancel a bunch of shows because towards the end of it, I'm like, I can't keep doing shows and rehearsal and be a mom. I'm like, I'm like, I don't even like and now I feel like I almost have a

shot at it. So I'm like, so we started to cancel shows because it just got just um emotional, I mean emotionally but like physically, I mean all of it just like a lot. And then traveling you throw a flying and I don't know about y'all, but like I I know people that can get on planes and then get right back to business. It sucks the life out

of me flying. It just drains me. And so you throw that in there and it's like but yeah, So as soon as I was asked to do what, I was like, I need to figure out what it is that I need to keep and what I can move and who will be cool with me moving some of these things around and some of these shows, because it is You're right, like, it's hard to do everything and juggle everything at once. Where do you think emotionally you are going into week three? I feel like I am

more positive this week. Last week I was a little like, oh man, like, I don't I don't know how week like, I felt like week one and the first dance was so great, and then you know, the scores didn't totally reflect that, so I was like, dang, I don't I don't know. I'm not a dancer, so I don't know what's good and what's not good. So for me, I thought it was good, but I guess it wasn't. I

don't know. And then week two I went into it more serious and just not as confident because I'm like, okay, like I better straighten my legs, I better do all these things. Now, going into a week three, I'm feeling really positive. I think about it. Everything that you've said, Jannah has been that. I refer to your little Dancing with the Stars calendar that you've given me, and you so because I literally said he I was like, okay,

you're going to go through a wave of motions. Week one, it's gonna be fun, but then you're not gonnat the scores. Then you're gonna be like depressed, and like week four you're like you're gonna want to quit. And then like week said so, you get your best score ever, and then it's like so much fun. And it's like because they put you and then like that's that's the whole point too, like they're putting. They're not gonna give you

like all eight or all nines. And and then it's also hard to when you see these people that are really good or the head dance before and you're like, well that's not fair, like I've never danced a day in my life. And but it's like but then they're going to give them low score. Like you just watch like it's it's all going to start like to turn, because then then they're going to be harder on you, harder on them, and then they'll be better on you.

And it's like which week do you fight with your partner? I think me it's just like anyone that you're forming a partnership with or um a friendship, anything, there's there's always going to be those getting to know each other kinks speaking of my party, keeping to know each other things that you work through and it's like, you know,

and I feel like we've done that really well. You know, last week we really got to know each other on it on even more so, and I just feel like we really are understanding one another, and I just think it makes for an even better partnership. Where do you think that you guys uh kind of bad? You know, um butt heads a little bit when it comes to training. He's just very passionate and I love that and I

understand passion. I come from a really passionate family. I think the only time is like I just so it takes me a little longer to grasp certain things. So all I asked, where just a little grace period to like understand what I'm doing. Um, but I really think that we're working through those things. And it's like I have a pep in my step these last couple of days because I really feel like we're finding our way together. Um, who is your best friend on the show like dancing

partner wise? Like that's that's on the show, Celeberty. I don't know yet. There's certain people you see more because I guess you're kind of in like a pod system. Um, and so I feel like there's certain people that you see consistently because they're dancing the same time of rehearsing the same time you. So I think I see Charlie and she Angela more than anyone, and so we I feel like I always chatted up and catch up with Mark and Charlie probably more than anyone because we seem

to practice and rehearse the same time. And she's just so I love that, you know, she's and she's amazing too. I'm like so many people like incredible. When I watched the show, I was like, oh, man, like I would like, there's so many good dancers too on the show. Everyone seriously, like half of the squad is so incredible. I'm sitting there like with my mouth on the ground, being like, oh my god, they're so good. But they're like they

look professional, like from a thirty thou feet perspective. To me, you fit there like it was but I mean that like truly though, Like it wasn't like one of those I was like, oh okay, you know, like because I mean, listen, if they tried to cast me with Dancing the Stars. You and you guys would feel really good about yourself. But it's like it just feels to me like a

natural fit. So I feel like it's good that you feel positive this week because you should be because you you're meant to be there, and you should be there. You're a little booty shaker j j D. Let's not pretend. Well, thank you. I man, it's funny because you feel like you're a good dancer. Like growing up, there's I've always feel like I had rhythm, but you come into this and you were humbled immediately going. You might have natural rhythm,

but like learning steps is a whole other level. Like Jenny, you made it look so easy and so effortless, Like I watched and I remember just thinking, like you you just made it look so easy, girl. I was the ice on your ribs. It was so hard. I mean that. And that's you know, when I said to you, I'm like, oh my god, that was a note. I was got

to like, you know, stronger legs, stronger legs. I mean, Glad would just be like yelling at I mean like I am literally doing the best I can, like and I don't remember, and I'm sorry and I told you, like, it wasn't until like the maybe the day before where I'm like, Okay, it's starting to click. You know. It's

like it's hard. But I mean at the same time, like I told you to like just have fun because it goes by so fast, And that is something that I've really tried to think, even though we're only going into week three, I've really tried to step in and go, Okay, remember to have fun. Jass, Like, I don't want to walk away from this and be like I should have enjoyed it more because I was so stressed out. Like it is stressful, it is so hard. You're challenging yourself.

You're putting yourself in a situation you never have before, so it is heavy on you. But I do think about what you say every time. I, like Jama said to remember to just like enjoy myself. So I'm really trying to do it because I wish I could go back like that's how and like and just truly have fun with it and like and know that like your kids will be okay. They're always going to be okay.

They've got you know, an amazing you have an amazing husband, amazing they have amazing dad, and it's like they're one of the things that the two I love when I went to your show at the Rhyme and like your kids are watching you, like live your dreams and be this boss ass babe, and like you know and just like run companies, kittenish and all these other things that

you do. It's like you are showing your children like how to be like this amazing independent, strong woman and loving and nurturing and like like you come home and like you're cooking them the soup, and I'm like, how does she find the time? Like I'm microwaving chicken nuggets, like I'm just laying the recipes already in a book because she did that too, and damn it, just how

is she doing this? And it's like you are showing it like your kids like just like I know, like you probably miss them right now and you want to be with them, but it's like you like they they are watching you, and you are giving them more from doing what you're doing than, like, you know, than being in their face for sure. And I have to keep in mind. Another friend told my book, this is a blimped time this time and like it may feel so

long now but it's not. And so I do keep trying to tell myself that because like you, Jana, I'm in it. I'm freaking in it and I want to work, but I'm like I'm in it with with my kids and it's it's the most important thing to me in the whole world. But I do have to remember, like it's okay to do something for myself and try something new and challenge myself in a different way, like this

is for me, this is for me to go. I'm putting myself out of a comfort zone and exhausting something that I've never done and it's okay, and it's like something I'm gonna be proud of one day when i step away from all this going, I can't believe I did that and I'm proud of myself for that, and

it's like good for you. Yeah, I feel like we all need to do that, like I'll step out of something like That's why, Like Jess, I know we can't say the show, but like we both got asked to do a show, and I'm like, man, I want to do this because it would be so out of my comfort zone because I always stay in like like even yes, I'm driving on the expressway now, but I'm staying on the right lane. I don't get into the middle lanes like I stay in my comfort zone, like lane over

Cramer Beef. It's like, I'm like, girl, we got places to go, and I see her over their Grandma pace to settled into that right lane. I'm the speed stir all the way and the other lang J J D and I are like pedal to the metal raising show actually on the side streets, not on this pressway. I know, is there. I mean, Jesse, we were talking about this

in an episode. I know. We we talk just tooth and nail, just you and me, like on text with this, but like how you deal with hate is like so beautifully done, because I feel like you do get picked apart a lot, and like every time, like you know, and I say, I'm like a girl, I went down read it and you're like, why do you do that

to yourself? You know, And it's like and it's like I always kind of listen to the things that you say because you have such a fresh take on it, and also like but then you also get vulnerable, like you're like when people were someone says something about your weight and I remember being like what is wrong with people? Like why are they like it's like, it's so hurtful

it is. I think what happens is when you are in the spotlight and you put yourself out there, it people feel like they have a right to say what they want to say, and they would never say these things to you on the street, but it does put you in a place where people feel like they can be comfortable enough to give their opinion even when it's not nice. And I do think sometimes whenever we are texting about that, it is hurtful. And yes I did put on weight this summer, thank you for noticing that

and acknowledging acknowledging that random person like thank you. It's it's the things that you already feel hard on yourself about that someone else is pointing out, and it is hard. We're human beings, and I do feel like people need to stop and realize that. But like we've said, it's never gonna go away. It will always be there and so but our perspective can change, and it goes for people that are in the spotlight or someone who's not

on the spotlight. When people are saying hurtful things, you have to remember like they can't be happy. They can't be waking up feeling the sunshine on their face and happy to go about their day if they want to hurt people all day long. Hurt people, hurt people. It's a real thing. And so I try to sit back and have grace for those people now. And what's another word that I think of sometimes I guess perspective of that.

They're they've got to be sad. They've got to be hurting every day, and I want to have sympathy instead and stop getting angry. It used to make me angry and used to make me want to cry all the time and look in the mirror going maybe I do have a big nose, maybe I am overweight, maybe all you know, all the things they want to point out. But I now have sympathy for those people, and I swear to God I pray for them at night now because and it makes me have more peace with it

going you know what they're hurting. I can't imagine what their lives must be like to want to wake up every day and get on their computer and point out all the things that I already know about myself. So you just got to take a bath and go I'm gonna pray for them, and I'm gonna keep going about my business because they're not going to affect me. And I'm gonna be happy. That's a word. Yeah, I love that.

But yeah it's I'm like quiet, like already it's tear well, but you just have to like even now, like you can't give it any more attention. It's like we have to now, like because the more attention you give it, the more it makes it real. So it's like I feel it. Yeah, we move on from it. I know. I went out on this one day with someone and they were starting to talk, Oh that's the ugly version of this person and like, oh my god, hiss like his his this, that and the other. And I'm like,

people are so freaking mean. I'm like why, Like I'm just like, as long as I want to, that's all that matters, okay, Like hey mean, like it's like, donnan, you don't need to be mean like and say like hurtful things about other people. And they're it's like there's just some people who were never mean gold in high school and it shows. That's all I'll say for sure. And it's just and I think about that and there

are the mean girls. Alan and I were just talking about that he had trouble in school where people were mean to him, and they Alan came here, tom my friend. They they were like hurtful for him. Who wanted to be a look at this guy. I got the privilege of dancing with Alan a few times when when Glub was sick, and you were just like, you're just the sweetest. When I found out she had you, I was like,

he's the best. You'll love him. He's so kind. But it's interesting to say you got bully because so my son's and dance, I'm I'm you know, he's he's in hip hop now, and I'm like, man, so like boys, like what do I tell him when the kids bullying actually won't get okay? Shoot? But like but because really, like what do they say to you? You know, like at the time, growing up, it just it was taboo for a boy to dance. There was no boy dancers. Dancing with the stars wasn't even really a thing until

you know, two thousand five when it started. So like growing up, when I was Tann eleven years old, dancing wasn't famous, It wasn't it wasn't fun. It wasn't cool. No one did it, and I got made fun of a lot um In hindsight, you know, actually, at the time, even I didn't care because obviously I love dancing so much that like it was my safe place after school. I would go straight to dance and just have fun

and enjoy and like live my best life. That during the day, high school and and even junior high did not matter to me. And so now I look back at it, I'm like, yeah, it was a tough childhood. Everyone made fun of me, but I don't care, like it made me who I am, and I really, you know, I can. I can move past that and just be thankful that I still have dance. And now look at you that you read he's gotten the big trophy I

got Jesse. Now that's what is your favorite thing about Jesse as a person, and then your favorite thing about Jesse as a dancer. Okay, one of the funniest things about Jesse is when like she's being sarcastic and over excited, it's so funny, like it's just that that that, And then when we're having fun in rehearsals, it's real, you know, it's not just like, oh, we're gonna be excited to do the dance, like will. She makes the best references. I think you like love movies. She's a movie buff,

and she makes really accurate references. Give us one, well today was the best one of ms congeniality. And he's telling me to walk more graceful and glide, and I was like, I'm glad here, like when she's trying to feel why walk like her and I'm blind and blind this is like, it's it's just I love references like that. I love movies, you know, so it's it's really fun. And she makes the perfect reference. And then what's one thing that you um like, you, what's one thing that

you're like you wish that she would um? Oh, this is the potst, none of the potst. I just like, what's one thing where you're just like like, I wish she could, you know, do do this or listen to me on this? I got you ready. This is the

best one. I wish she believed in herself more in dancing because she gets it and I can see her trying so hard and a lot of the time, I'm sure you're familiar with it is like as soon as you let go, it clicks that can you like believe in yourself and it just it happens, It clicks, and you're like, oh my god, that Why was I struggling so hard with that when all I had to do is less and so like to me is like if she can believe in herself as soon as I believe

in her, then it's like, okay, we're easy. And honestly, it's it's not just her, it's more of me because I have to change. I've been learning, especially with Jesse, how to change the way I teach. I overheard her saying, but you know, like Jesse is somebody that really reacts really well to positive reinforcement. And I've been doing that

and I've been really adjusting to it. And I feel like this last like the last half of last week and this week has just been so much more wife and like almost easy because in a good environment, because I'm already going to beat yourself myself. I'm already going to do that, Like you don't have to worry about that. I got that covered, So I'm already there. So if I'm part of myself and he's double it's like double

heart on myself. I need to have him lift me because I'm already inside just going like you can't do this, you can't do this. I need him to be like you can do this, and me go okay, right, you know, I see her right away and I'm like, oh, she's really like understanding it and she's not allowing herself to do it yet. And then when she does, it's like we finished, Like that was that was fun. That was great, and so like that to me is like I want

to be better at facilitating that. For just it's almost like you gotta let go believe and let god you know, just for sure. Who's who's y'all's biggest competition? Do you think? Oh? Everyone? Everyone? You could just name one? Who do you think? Because who's who thinks the one? Honestly, I seriously can't tell you. You could probably say one, Jane, I I feel like, going into it, you may think there's one or two. But when you're standing on that balcony and you're watching everyone,

I mean you're like, oh that that person. Like every you can see everyone getting to the finals this season. I don't know if it's always like that on every season of this show, but you even said yourself, like everyone's really good, Like there's at least half of the people in this caste. You're like, oh my god, there's there's the beauty about the show is that it is

about growing and learning. But there are amazing dancers already, you know, Like it's this is like one of the first seasons where you look at like more than half the casting like on any other season, this person is a winner actually a good way to put it. And so I don't know who's gonna win this season. I mean well, and not to be rude, but like Bobby

Bones did win. So it's like sometimes it's not the best answer that wins, it's the best story and it's the best you know, authenticity and the I actually went back and rewatched some of his season and he was entertaining and he cared and he fun And I think that's what it is. It's not just who's the best dancer, but who's really who's doing this for a bit, is going to really let go and who's growing and really

committing to the show. Um, any tips or any like a little tidbits you can give for for tomorrow because this is airing Sunday, So anything you can give us as a little tease yess is committing. I am all in from hit. I'm going to good Oh my gosh, I'm so excited. Well, you guys have to watch, Um Jesse and Alan vote for them on Disney Plus. Um you can watch it live there and you guys were rooting. We're voting, we're loving and um Jesse, let me know which Monday I can come out and see any any

of them came this Monday, come tomorrow. Okay, let me say that I can call Mike and we'll text. We'll see which one. Okay, okay, Um, I love you guys so much, thanks for coming on by. Wait do you want to go to l A. Where's tomorrow? Tomorrow? My life doesn't work well now that Colvin's not getting a divorce. Like you know, Nick can watch the kids. We can do There's a thing. I actually saw you more when

you were married. That's like, that's the thing. I'm like you Bee, like, oh, it's still gonna work for Jenna's agenda with her being singles like no, no, no, it actually works better when they were married, right, I got to see her more. I know that your text was like I can't it's not my kid for a weekend, I can't, And I was like, my kids are so your kids are, Um, well No, But seriously, I love Jessine. I love the way that she I'm gonna start, I'm

gonna start praying for y'all, for the main people. No, seriously, because about the perspective. That's not going to change. So it's change our perspective. No, I know. Is I got a dozen rosists, That's all I care about. Is there anything you want to tell us? Nope? Is there a thousand things you want to tell us? Goodbye?