WHY YOU SO OBSESSED WITH ME?

I want the fairy tale. I want the prince charming she How do.

I put this? Isn't a fan of my kissing style.

Boyfriend and girlfriend for about twelve hours. He's in a trash bin. He's non recyclable. Catching them up.

I love being love. I love love.

On today's episode of Where's Your Head At, we will be telling you how to make your crush obsessed with you.

You should always be your true, authentic self, but try these little tips and psychological tricks to get your next crush.

Keen on you two stick around to hear some toxic and non toxic ways to master the law of attraction.

Where's Your Head At.

Is a podcast that talks all things relationships, breakups, reality TV, trending shows, and everything in between.

This is your new go to destination for laughs, gossip, intimate details, advice, and much more.

That is one large coffee or drinking this morning? You're feeling extra tired?

Yeah I am, but a big boy needs a big coffee, I reckon. Thanks for pointing out. Is it a big cup or is it a small hand or is.

It a Oh my god? The comfort the self compliments have started already. How are you this morning?

Well, let's cut the formalities. Anna, let's cut the little chit chat. I'm not in a good place, goes away on Friday and she has no like this is the one. This is a big one.

So this is the one where she has no service, Like she can't message you. No, I still can't wrap my head around that, Like how are we living in this day and age?

And she's gonna have no reception.

Well, she's tracking the Larapinter Trail for the Hunger Project charity. So she's raised five grand and they're going to walk the larap Inter Trail.

Good, what a great thing to do.

Fifteen kilometers a day. They're camping out under the stars. They're really like it's a real like come to Jesus sort of black time, you know what I mean?

Was she doing it with her work?

So the Hunger Project is with lack to Cuba, who she works for, and they like they take all the staff on this side.

So is this compulsory?

No, it's not. She doesn't have to do this, no, no, no, which is random as well. Yeah, so she actually went through like they actually not cast, but they interview you to see like who they're going to take on. You have to be eligible for it, you have to work there for three years, so there's like a vigorous like weeding process to get the pretenders out. Wow. But yeah, I don't know. I'm gonna have a little bit of a loane time me time. I won't be able to

Rough it's gonna be a bleak week.

I'm gonna be And you're away as well, aren't you. You're in Baly, So I've got both my women away from me. I'm gonna be fucking I don't know who I'm going to be venturing to.

Go to be like rocking in the corner by the end of the week, being.

Like what's happening, Mickey's on night duty. I'm fucked.

You can still contact me. I will be around, like you know, from certain hours. I mean, no contact with your partner. That's pretty full on, Like I wouldn't even be looking like doing that. Absolutely not like that's a strong note from me, But I mean it's for a great cause.

Good on her.

We wish her all the best for the trail, and I think she's gonna smash it. She's probably gonna come back absolutely wrecked, like you're gonna be on massage duty.

Don't say that she hears.

This in all serious and speaking about Bali, I am gonna be in Bali extremely soon.

I am getting.

Really clean and attached to Michael because I know that I'm not going to be with him soon. So, like we have become obsessed with each other. Like we literally will like lie on the couch and just be cuddling at each other, really tired and like you know.

Like all of that cringey stuff.

Like we're just like obsessed at the moment, like we're peaking at a ten.

I don't know if I do that, I'm probably the opficite. I'll probably distance myself to get ready for it, like to get ready for that that's toxic. Well it helps me survive, So I don't know. If that's toxic, then I'm toxic.

Well look on that note, I think it's time to talk about how to make people obsessed with you in a toxic and a non toxic way. Let's do it, Okay, Matt, you know the reason why we're doing this episode, and it's because one of my friends who's single is having a really tough time at the moment dating, Like.

We remember how shit it was dating, Oh suck.

You know, She's just gone through this kind of like weird like situation where she's feeling a little bit heartbroken and she was like, you know what I need, Anna, I just need a guy to be obsessed with me.

How do I make a guy obsessed with you?

And I was like, you know what, this is a great episode for a podcast and we want to hear a male perspective of this.

So we're going to ask.

You, Matt, just tell us what makes the guy obsessed with you?

Do you want the long answer or the short answer?

Give us, give us it all any details out?

Okay, So what makes me obsessed with the girl? I like a girl that's like, I like a girl's confident. I love that.

Love confidence.

Yeah, confidence is key. So like if they're like coming in confident and like they know what they've got, Like I'm sucker for that. Like, yeah, sucker for that.

So you think, like fake it till you make it. So if you are feeling insecure, just like you know.

Like eventually show your vulnerable side. But if this is unlike when you first meet someone, yeah, you have to. I reckon, come across confident.

I'll have a bit of a fake it till you make it.

Yeah, we'll do it. What else, I don't put a tight little number on and look to me when you first meet a girl, Yeah, I think the confidence is key. Being confident means that, like, also, you're like, you're strong and independent, You've got like your whole life going on, So you can see that this girl like they have it going on and they're not relying on you to help them find themselves sort of thing. So like you're coming in to this girl's life and you're you know what I mean.

Yeah, absolutely, So you don't want to feel like if you sat dating someone and you're on date two, that you are their whole life. Like like if if you're like, hey, do you want to catch up, they might be like, oh, I've got work, Oh i've got plans, Oh I've got a hobby.

So their life does not revolve around you essentially.

And then in saying that, that can mean that they're not desperate. So then obviously if someone comes across desperate, that's a bit of a turn off as well.

Yeah, okay, so someone like shows that they like you too much. You're like, nah, I've already got you.

Yeah, tapping out.

But in saying that, though, like what happened with Jen and I where you were like you factuated with each other straight away and hung out and I was.

Obsessed with But you had six years of four play via Instagram likes I did.

I had four years, six years of just fucking yeah, just like getting.

Rejected just like what if?

Okay, so that makes yeah, that makes sense there, that makes sense. But I finally got it. I was there. Yeah, so okay, so yeah, keep them in your DM. So six years.

That's to be cool. Playing the long GWG.

Yeah, Like I think about like me and Michael, like we were like instantaneously obsessed with each other. But I actually spoke to Michael and I was like, hey, like we're doing an episode on like being obsessed with each other, Like what made you obsess with me? And Michael? The first thing that he said was your bejas.

I was actually gonna list that, you know, I was actually gonna say that, but I was like, I don't I don't think that would be so appropriate straight away off the bat. But but thank you Michael for bringing that up. Yes, give a wicked head job.

But then the.

Second thing that he said, when he was like Nana in all seriousness, he was like, how much fun we had together just made me so obsessed with you, because, like he said, like when he met me, I was just like in such a carefree kind of like wanting to have fun, just like grabbing life by both hands and just being like, let's you know, the world is our oyster, we can do whatever, and just that positive, happy type of vibe. And he said that really drew

Do you reckon You were yourself around Michael straightaway?

Yeah?

I think that's so important.

So important.

You never want to put up this like facade of like I like you, you basically don't want to pretend to be someone else because you can't continue to be someone else the.

Whole time, the whole time, like you're Yeah, but like I felt like I was myself around gen. I felt like I could be myself and I could, like like I said, we like chatted till like four or three am in the morning, Like I've never done that with a girl. I'd never been like that with someone like being truly myself.

Isn't it interesting that with both of our partners at the moment on our very first day, we actually ended up like the date was so prolonged and we ended up staying up to like three am and the warning chatting with them. Like I think that's like a strong sign if you can just chat to people and like have fun and enjoy their company.

Like you know, we were both like blind on these dates.

It's still like, I guess we didn't want the date to end, so we were like, let's have a few drinks, let's chat, let's have fun. And I think that is like a really great sign when you first meet someone. But in saying that, after our first day, so after Michael and I's first date, he had messaged me here and there, like he had replied to some of my stories. You know, he'd liked a few of my Instagram photos,

Or just like oh no, you were posting photos for him to see if he liked it.

Yeah, yeah, like you know, you know, like you get like, I don't know, let's just say you get a thousand likes and the only one you care about is the person who you're seeing.

It was like a vat vie Do.

You remember those days? And then you'd see if they'd viewed your story or not. Oh yeah, stories were like directly put up for them to see.

Yeah, and then they haven't watched it, and you're like what are they doing? Oh?

But anyway, after our second date, we had kind of like had like little bits of interaction here and there, but I remember he hadn't asked me on a second date yet, and I was like, that was like the best date of my life, and like, yes, he's interacted with me here and there, but like, why has this guy not asked me out on a second date? Like I'm so confused, Like he was acting obsessed with me, I was acting obsessed with him.

Was I reading the room wrong?

Then I started to doubt myself and then I was like, no, I know it was a great date. So I actually messaged him and I was like I literally said, so are you taking me out on a second date or what?

Question?

Mark confidence?

And then his.

Response was like I was literally just about to ask you. I wanted to see if you were free on Thursday, and I was like, perfect, lock it in.

Do you know why he waited so long? Has he told you are?

Yeah?

So he was like he was under the impression that like he was like, yeah, so, I think he was kind of trying to play a little bit hard to get because he was still unsure of like where my head was at, and so yeah, he.

Was like trying to play it a bit cool.

But then he reckons that after I sent that text message being like, you know, are you going to ask me out on a date or what are you going to ask me on a second date or what. From that moment on, he was like, fuck it, I think she's obsessed with me.

I'm just going to act completely all in.

And you know, like he was like messaging me at like midnight when he was out with his friends, like what are you up to?

What are you doing?

Like always messaging me, like especially if he was drinking so and then it just kind of like went from them.

That is a sign if a guy's messaging you while he's out with these mates, is it? Yeah, I reckon because you're not gonna put you like you're out like in your single technically.

And there's other girls there's other girls.

And you're messaging.

Yeah, it's a good sign unless he's.

Just striking out and he knows that he's gone.

But yeah, but if he's messaging you early in the night, through the whole yeah yeah. If it's like, what time do you reckon? If it's past like ten o'clock, then it could be like a bit of a strikeout situation.

Even nine, No.

I'll tell you later. Twelve.

Oh so twelve okay, right, okay, that's striking out, ladies.

In case you're wondering.

I've got a bit of don't don't count me out at nine or ten? What I wouldn't count me out?

Okay?

What's a fail where you're like this is a turn off, Like I'm not going to be obsessed with you now, Like the thing I mean, I'm asking you this question, but I'm also answering at the same time, Like guys, when I'm like first art, when I first start seeing a guy, they can do the smallest things and it just gives me the eck and I'm out, So like what gives you the eck?

Okay? It's the first thing comes to mind, is like if they try to be like sexy and it just fucking fails.

Or they try like what like when they kiss or they try.

Yeah, I've like you know, like they bite their lips or something. It's just not like they're trying to overdo it. And then you're just like okay, so not too full of not too full. I thinel like a.

Subtle bite of the lip could be like a little bit hot.

Like what's that thing that they tell you to do to like look at a guy in the eye then look down at his What is it?

Okay?

They tell you to look look at a guy in the eyes like intently.

Are you trying it on you?

What he means relationships?

Just see if it okay?

So they tell you to like I'm not doing it, I'm just explaining how.

To I'm just sitting here.

I feel like I feel uncomfortable now, but anyway, I'm not just.

Relaxed, okay.

So basically, they tell you to look at a guy in the eye like intently, and then you look down at their mouth and then you can like bite your own lip and then look back up at them with like a little bit of a snack.

Do you think that would work?

I don't know. I never seen it done.

But maybe yeah, in a subtle way. I think sometimes like girls.

Can do it, isn't it left to right eye?

Oh?

Is it?

Yeah?

Maybe it is?

Yeah, I think maybe like left eye, right eye mouth and then like look back.

Up, okay, ladies that are listening. And it did not work on me then with Anna, but I didn't do it. But if it works with someone else, well, how do you know that you've made a guy obsessed with the manna? Like what gives it away that they just?

I think when you know they're regularly messaging you. I mean, I have this rule, and you know how stubborn I am, so like when I make a rule, I followed the rules. I have this rule where like if I'm seeing a guy, I won't message them first, so like as soon as they message me, I'll just be totally normal. Like I won't like wait to text them back. I'll maybe wait like ten minutes or something. So I'm not like fully jumping on that bandwagon as soon as they messaged me.

Know if they want to talk to me, they're gonna have.

To reach out. But then as soon as they reach out, it's like totally normal. I'm like, how's your day going, da da da, Like ask some questions.

I hate that. What happens if they're playing games and you guys are having like a massive stalemate and no one's messaging anyone.

Well then it's just not for me because I'm like, well, if you're not willing to put in the hard yards, like you.

Don't get the hard you don't get the hard work, you get it.

Okay, both look down the camera lands.

Okay, so this is the thing that you're meant to do.

Okay, so you look down.

So we're going to try this for the people who are watching.

So we're gonna look down, look up. Bite your lip. That was smoldering.

So if you watch that, girls, I'm sorry, I am taken, but I've just fallen in love with me. But look at Emma behind the camera's flushing.

I thinks everyone's going in love with him. But how do you know a girl's obsessed with you?

Matt just say like hanging out out the front of my house waiting for me to leave talk to me, just all that sort of stuff. No again, in this day and age, it comes down to like messaging, I reckon, but they're prompt messages. If anyone says they missed your message or they're too VISI shit, yeah, they're fucking lying.

It's such trash, Like no one's missing a message. And especially if you like someone that is like you're like all encompassed in that, so you're absolutely not missing a message. If someone hasn't replied to you in twelve hours, it means that they don't like you. And I think that there's probably like zero point zero one percent of a chance that they do like you. And it actually is a genuine mistake. Like it's never a genuine mistake, is it. No.

I remember I was seeing this girl and I will like I was thought she was a vibe. I thought she was okay. She would take literally like three to two hours for reply to messages, and I'm like, okay, I get it. Three to two two, two to three hours to reply to my messages and I'm like, okay, I get it. I'm like, I'm not your main priority. There's some other dudes. Probably I'm like, all right, yeah,

In the end, you just like you know what, Like people say, like it's good to play games, but at the end of the day, if you're right for each other, there really is.

No need for games.

If you're your authentic self, they're their authentic self, it's gonna match. If you put on this like fake persona, you're attracting someone to you that actually isn't you. So it's just you're wasting everyone time. I think, like the thing that scared me the most when I was single is that like I would do one thing and it could put the right person off. So we are going to dive into toxic and non toxic ways to make the right person of ze.

Let's jump in.

Okay, So We're going to start off with the boring, non toxic ways. I reckon earn us.

So, if you're why do you love toxic so much? Like I just have to ask you before we jump into this.

I like to feel like the old me like toxic, true, the old me, dude. And to be honest, I just I liked it was spicy. It was just you know, it kept me on my torots, kept me guessing, Yeah, maybe I'm the problem.

I think you're the drama. Maybe drama.

Maybe I was a problem. No, look yeah, look it just was. It was different.

It's a bit of fun. I think you like toxic when you're not serious about someone. I think as soon as you're serious, you're like, Okay, cut the bs, like where are we at?

Yeah, what's going on? Don't let my anxiety peak at a thousand thinking about what's next?

Okay.

Well, look, there's many ways to make someone obsessed with you. We're going to start off with the Ben Franklin effect. We've spoken about this on our podcast before. It's when you ask someone to do favors for you. Have you ever done a favorite for.

Someone that I would? I think I would when I would be talking to someone or trying to get them obsessed with me. I feel like you do favors just naturally. I feel, don't you reckon, Have you had a guy, I just do favors for you, like they go out of their way to do stuff.

Yeah. Like, I think if a guy likes you, they're definitely like trying to impress you. In One of the ways to do that is, I guess to like, I don't know, fix your blinds, you know.

Like Jen, when I went to her house when we first started seeing each other at her apartment, the light wasn't working in her bedroom, so apparently her actually tried to do it or something like that, So I was like, all right, so I took it. I went to Coles and I bought one, and then I came back and it was the wrong one, so I had to go again, and I did all this stuff. So that was like a favor like when I Yeah, when I like a girl, I do favors for him.

Yeah, And I think that that's kind of what the study has kind of showed us that people tend to like people more who do favors for them, even if initially they didn't like them as much. So maybe Jen didn't like you as much, and then you fixed the light bulb and she was like, Okay, this guy's.

Okay, Okay, he's doing he's tall, he's handy, he's handsome. That as well. We speaking of handsome, don't be afraid to compliment them.

I knew this is gonna come up. Mister, I love a compliment. He had to put it in there, and you know what, It's true, Like when you get a compliment, it does kind of like make you like people maybe a little bit more.

I know for a fact that if I'm given one compliment, it sits with me for hours. Like I'll be driving and I'll be like, oh, yeah, I am here, Oh I was good at that.

It's the best compliment you've been given.

Let me just check my notes, because you write them all down to remind yourself when you're in anxiety.

Best compliment I've ever been given? What you are too good looking to model for this brand?

That's that sounds like a backhanded compliment.

If I've ever heard one, they're like, fuck.

Up, that actually did happen to me? So that's not a lie?

Okay, prolonged eye contact. I think this one is so underrated. Having good eye contact is really attractive and it shows confidence.

It does. Yeah, you bring us up on this all the time that when you keep our eye contact off.

Yeah, Like even when we do the podcast, it just like connects you. So you kind of like are on a similar wavelength.

Yeah. And the eyes are the window to the soul. If you you look straight in their eyes, you can see what they're about.

The way that's sering me right now is like seriously concerning using someone's name.

Have you heard of this one?

No? I haven't, Anna, can you tell me more? Anna?

Kay?

I get what you're doing.

So hearing your name said by someone is actually a bit of an ego boost, you know. It kind of makes you think they remember my name firstly, kind of gives you a little bit of extra confidence, and studies have actually shown that hearing your own name has a unique effect on brain activation.

So what does it do? It makes you think that this person likes you a lot more, makes you feel more important to them, makes you think that they're they care about you and they've actually taken the time to get to know you in a way like what your name is?

Yeah, absolutely, And if you want to return the favor, mirroring is actually a really great way to make someone obsess with you.

I love this one. I love when Jen picks up on my like what I say, my sayings and all that sort of stuff. Gestures, yeah, gestures. I reckon, that's so funny. And like I'll be doing something and then I'll hear say something that I say all the time and I'm like, hey, you got that from me. I'm like, it's fine, Yeah, I reckon, that's hot. Yeah.

But also like as well, like when you are like with people a lot, like we pick up each other's things as well. I mean, what was it that I used to say a lot? Yeah, yeah, I used to say unreal as well. So like I think it's also like when you're spending lots of time with people, then slow subconsciously, yeah, subconsciously, you start mirroring them.

Yeah, don't be scared to show them your flaw. So I reckon that, Like I said before, don't jump into this straightaway. I mean, I would never have had a girlfriend in my life if I show them my flaws. We spoke about catfishing before. Jen sometimes says, you catfish.

Me, What do you mean you think you cat.

She goes I just didn't realize how like, you know, just my quirky, real full quirky side.

Yeah, you know, and like we're all a bit quirky, so like I think it's something that we kind of hiden the beginning to a certain degree.

Like, yeah, I feel.

Like I was like pretty authentic with who I was pretty early on. But of course, like I wasn't like a full blown, like crazy person at the start of my relationship as opposed to now. But yeah, like slowly, as those layers get peeled back, it's nice to be like, ah, you.

Know, it's something that can be.

Seen as a flaw is actually really intriguing and really like pulls you in, And you know, it's kind of nice to be like not everyone sees this side of you, and I'm lucky enough to be able to peel back those layers.

Like we said, you get to be yourself around them. Yeah, I pretend to be the joker to gen like do like the laugh and then like, yeah, she gets really weaked out, and then like I sort of like stroke her face and she just like sits there like what the.

Fuck I mean, You're kind of pulling back the layers. For the podcast, I mean, you've told about the cut of Monster the other week, so you know, slowly we're getting to see the real all my quirks all. So, something that's super interesting for attracting a guy is to actually expect good things from people. So psychologists say that we tend to mold to the expectations that people have set for us.

So I'll give you an example. I was one stating this.

Guy and I remember a lot of people around me had been like, he's a bit of a fuck boy, stay away from him, like bad vibes, da da da. So I went in with this really negative perception of him, and I remember I actually said to him how you were fuck boy?

And he was like, what makes you say that?

And then he kind of played into that role, Whereas like maybe if I was like, you know, you seem like a really good guy. I feel like you're like really loyal and compassionate and kind, then maybe he would have been like, she thinks really highly of me. I'm gonna like try and meet those kind of expectations.

As a one hundred percent agree with that, I reckon as a guy, Like if a girl sets that expectation early where you're like, well, that's what you think. Like like, look, I'm not going to put a lot of energy into trying to convince you otherwise, I don't like you that much, you know what I mean, Like we're just seeing each other, So you're not going to give all your energy into trying to change their opinion, just going to go with what they reckon.

Yeah. So, like it's interesting to hear from a guy's perspective. So if you think that someone was to label you as a fuck boy, you'd be like, oh, well that's what they think.

Yeah. If I was just dating and gone on a couple of days to them, I wouldn't try to convince some otherwise, Like why would I put energy in I know for firsthand, I've grown up with women and women around my life. They're stubborn, like you're not proud, it's like to change their mind once they've made it up. Yeah, so you're not going to that's a lot of energy to try to convince someone Otherwise, if you're just you'd like a mat a minimal hick come out.

Whereas like if someone's like you're a fucking unreal guy, Matt, you'd be like, Okay, I'm going to show you how unreal I am.

Thank you. Well, I've said this before on the podcast. A lot of when I was dating, a lot of women said like, as you you're not what you think, what you think you're going to be. Like, so like when they see me on social media or how they're there for option of me is a lot different once they meet me.

The next one for making him obsessed is just let him talk about himself. Matt loves a good yarn about himself. If it's a guy like ma, I'm sure you can win him over by just letting him chit chat about how good he is.

Literally, just let me do that.

I was thinking that.

No, yeah, I think Jan realized that quite early on that I just fucking love to talk about myself and what's going on. So just let me, yeah do it.

And look, it doesn't have to be on a surface level.

You can really like dig deep and like let someone open up about themselves and be there to listen and just you know, kind of like hold space for them.

That's so underrated. I feel like like some women don't realize how important that is to a man. Like really, yeah, Like I think for me, it's important that I have a partner that I can go home to and I can like speak to and they hold space for me and I can talk to them and actually open up to them and tell them how I'm feeling about stuff,

They just want someone to listen.

Yeah, which is hard for me. It took me a while to realize that because I'm such a solution based person, so like I might bang, well we'll do this and this, we'll solve the problem. Yeah, and yeah, a lot of guys sometimes don't want that. They just want someone there to listen.

Yeah, And I think it's important to remember that it's a two way street. So like if you're like, you know, holding space for someone, you don't want someone who's just going to constantly talk talk at you. I remember once I dated this guy and he was just so self obsessed and focused on talking about himself, and like I was happy to listen for a certain amount of time.

I'm pretty guilty of that because I grew up with my mom where like you could just talk at her and like my mom would just like loved us so much that she would just listen. So like I've taken that into like my normal every day.

So I pulled you up on that, Yeah exactly.

Yeah, where I just feel like I just talk at her and my mom loved us so much, just be so receptive and want to hear all about it.

But your mum would have probably loved for you to ask her.

How hard Sometimes sometimes when I pop into grab something from my mom's like offstart just talking at her, and she'd be like, well this happened to me, And I'm like, fuck, mom, just I'm not finished yet. I've gotten better. With age, I've gotten better.

You actually have gotten better, like I reckon, Like when we first became like close friends, sometimes you would talk with me a little bit and I was like, anyway, Michael and I are going, well, thank you for us.

Yeah, I remember you pulled me up on it and I was like, yeah, so I make a conscious effort.

But you're like, you're like so much better now. It's like a different person.

Yeah, this is what I said earlier. Have a life outside it them, so like show them that you can be independent, you can have a balanced life between them and your normal life, because no one likes a stage five clean up life.

No, And I think it's important when you're in a relationship, or when you get to a place in a relationship, or even just when you're ready to date someone, Like when you're ready to go on a first date, you don't want to be putting your absolute like everything into it. Like if you're going on a first date, it shouldn't be the be all and end all of your year

Yeah. I mean I've been guilty of this immersing myself into my relationships and it's just I feel like it takes away from you and then it can turn the other person off as well. I feel as well, Yeah, like you got to find that balance.

Yeah, it's definitely about balance. Like we're not saying don't get excited, but it can't be the be all and end all.

I like this when they show you affectionately. We've spoken about this on the podcast, Like touch him casually, like slight touches break that boundary and some guys do like that, and it does show that look from a complete guy's perspective, if you're on like and you're trying to get this guy to like you, if you're like touching him, it's showing him that there is going to be a next like a second base, and that that always keeps a guy like intrigued, you know what I mean to like,

Getting lucky. Is that what guys say? Yeah, that's so weird. I just I don't think about like anything sexual.

If a guy's like touching me, like or touches my leg or like touches my shoulder or something, then I'm like, he likes me. Like that's just my initial thought, and like he likes me.

I think I speak for a higher percentage of males that if a woman touches you, you're going, all right, we're.

On really well. Fuck.

There's been a lot of disappointed guys that I've gone on dates with.

That rubber in my wallet might be finally getting used.

Sick. Something that I think to make a guy like obsessed with you, whether it's a first date, whether it's like you know, five dates in or whether you're still trying to like keep the sparks alive in your relationship, is something that's so simple, and that's just smiling, being happy,

Oh, that would be like I would probably cut that date, asked for the bill, and get out of there early. And from coming from a joker and a funny guy as well. On that, if they're cracking jokes, just laugh, make him feel like they're funny. It never hurts laugh at their jokes. If a girl's laughing at me, I'm like, yeah, this girl's a vibe.

They're into me.

Yeah, yeah, Like, I think it's definitely an important point to like not take things too seriously, like to make things like herded like, you know, ladies, if he's not that funny, don't laugh at him.

I reckon too laugh at him. I reckon make him feel like he's funny.

I mean, I think if he cracks a good joke and it's warranted, like a laugh is warranted, then you can get a laugh.

It's a trash joke.

We're talking about the non toxic, not the toxic ones we're getting.

Well, look, I think on that note, I think it's just time we jumped straight into the toxi because these ones are good. Something I love about the non toxic ways to make someone obsessed with you, is that you're making someone like you for who you are. You're not trying to trick them. But we are a generation who loves toxic. I mean, you are renowned for loving the chase. You love toxicity. You've spoken about it a lot when you were single. It was kind of like.

Your go to.

Have you ever been able to pinpoint what it is that you love so much about like a toxic woman?

I was thinking about it, and I think it is, Yeah, the chase and like not knowing exactly what the fuck's going on, like not knowing where their heads at, not knowing like what's next, not knowing where you stand. Yeah, and I guess like feeling uncomfortable in that lack relationship, Like right now I'm in a very happy relationship and I feel so good. And to think that I used to like strive in those things, it's just wild and I don't ever want to go back there.

Yeah, it do you reckon?

I would attract toxic people into my life because I was toxic at the time.

I think so absolutely, Well, what is it. It's like the law of attraction. It's like what you are, you attract and somehow you see to attract a lot of toxic.

And that's a true statement because I reckon as soon as you and me had to chat and you said you need to like sort of pull your head in within week or two, I reckon Gen was a girlfriend.

I was like, Fuck, he's really taking my advice on me.

I reckon. It was like within a week because I was in like a real toxic place, like mixing around and not doing well for myself. Yeah, I reckon. We had that chart and then that happened, So I reckon the law of attraction's true in that respect.

Yeah. Well, like obviously we all love toxic because it's the thrill of the chase. It's like this conquest that we like want to kind of like win. It's like if someone's kind of like showing you signs that maybe they don't like you, then you're like, well, fuck you, I'm gonna I'm gonna do everything I can.

I'm going to do everything in my power to win you over.

Even thinking about that gives me anxiety. It gives you like the creeps like, yeah, and you're right, I reckon. As soon as like you felt like they didn't want anything to do with Yeah, you're like, well, fucking earth, I'm going to make you want something to do with me.

Yeah, let's it's on that.

Yeah.

I mean, so we do love toxic.

But the thing about toxic situationships or relationships or even just like dating like first dates or whatever, when they get toxic, you kind of end up chasing someone that maybe you don't even like, do you know what I mean, Like you don't even know them that well, but you just put them on this massive pedestal.

And updating them for a year.

Yeah you've been there. Well, I mean it's true.

And I mean that's why this toxic culture to make people obsessed with you is so prevalent. Like there's so much content on this on TikTok and YouTube, and you know, people thrive on it. They love it because they're like, how do I get this person who maybe might not have liked me to want me?

Yeah, And there's a lot of ways to do that. So if you think the non toxic way hasn't worked for you, this is where you have got to listen because this is definitely going to help you. But is it the guy you want or is it the girl you want?

Well, no, it's not.

And this is what we want to stress, like, we are going to give you the toxic version because we know you guys want them. But like I think if it's going to be a serious relationship or someone who is actually going to fall in love with you for the person you are, you need to go the non toxic route. Mabe.

Maybe these are good if someone's being toxic to you to turn it over and make them chase you. Absolutely, and they take these points for that.

Yeah.

Absolutely, Like if someone's being toxic and being like hot and cold and you know, all of that good stuff, maybe it's time for you to take back your power. So the first way to do that is find little ways to reject them, because rejection breathes obsession.

If that's like saying you're too busy to go on a date with them, or like rejecting plans they make or canceling on them last second, that's definitely the way to do that.

And it's definitely a great way to reel someone in. I mean that.

You you know firsthand you love a bit of you love a bit of toxic rejection to really grow that obsession.

It does work, absolutely, And when you mix pleasure with pain, when the same person gives you both. It creates this psychological attachment style to him.

Absolutely.

That's like the person who you're thinking about twenty four to seven. You're like, you know, are they going to message me back this time? Like I'm sending out this message, like who knows when they're going to reply? Like you know, I've dated a guy who, like you know, sometimes he would reply, sometimes he wouldn't, and it just made me

I remember like checking your phone and seeing if it was the person you're messaging and then it wasn't, and then then your heart, oh oh, don't hate me back there.

I think something that you have to be willing to do when dating is to be willing to walk away and to just do it effortlessly, you know, cut communication if someone is treating you in a specific way to get them to come back, and to watch them come like basically running back. I think being able to walk away and mentally walk away, so.

Just ghost them essentially and.

Then essentially like and I mean it's so toxic.

But like if someone does something you don't like, you know, you're just like, okay, cut You're done just having that, Like it's kind of like almost being able to pull out your emotions from it, or being stubborn enough to be like, I'm not putting up with this.

I've been always fascinated by my mates that can do that. I've never been able just to walk away and just not like you know what I mean, it's just for me. I don't know, But that's.

Because your feelings are involved.

I feel like feelings have to be either, Like you know, some people don't let themselves feel past a certain point, like people cut off their emotions.

You know, what a happy life they must unhappy? But what a blissful life they must live. What a blissful life.

I think as well, Like if you're gonna make someone obsessed with you, you have to have the inner confidence and essentially be obsessed with yourself, like you need to be like I am the best catch there is out there. They would be lucky to have me. And you know, it's kind of like manifesting, like where like you see yourself on this pedestal and so therefore they kind of see you on that pedestal as well.

Put yourself on that pedestal. Don't don't let them wait for them to do it. Put yourself up there.

And we all know you do this.

I'm already sitting up there loud and proud this one. I mean, yeah, don't sleep with them straight away.

This is this is handbook rules, like number one for me. This is like I think there's you know, we talk a lot about.

How I think there's a fine line you do. Yeah, I think five dates for you, i'd be out by like the third.

No, you wouldn't. You absolutely wouldn't.

I don't know, because that's that's like long haul stuff that's like five days.

Yeah, But like if you're looking for a relationship, I think that if someone is going to wait five days to sleep with you for like I don't know, say you go out with them for a year, Like, it's not the worst, is it? Yeah?

I meant you put it in that. But when you're out dating and you know that you're not looking for a relationship.

Well, I think for me, the reason why I do the five date rulers because I'm like, well, you know, at a minimum, they're going to get to know me for like an hour each day.

This is minimum.

Let's say a date goes two hours. That's ten hours of getting to know me and me getting to know them equally. So like they know me, I know them now I feel comfortable to have sex with them, and like also I feel like, you know, guys kind of sometimes need to create that attachment by getting to know you before they have sex with you to then really be like, oh my god, I'm obsessed. And I think that's why this has fallen in the toxic category.

Hypothetically, you spend those ten hours for investments. You're investing in this person. Yeah, it's all going well, you go to the shag wagon, you go up there, you're in bed, and it's the absolute worst lay you've ever had. Wouldn't you just feel like.

I'd been them?

So you've invested all this time?

Well, like maybe maybe like look, maybe if they're bad in bed, then maybe you might put some time into helping them, like curate this a lot.

Of time into something.

That could just well, I mean, look, anyone can be bad in bed, So I mean that's just the rule, is it.

Yeah, it is. That's that's investing. You know. I thought it might go, might pay dividends, it might not.

Yeah, I think holding your dignity at any sign of disrespect is one that I actually don't think is that toxic, But I like, I know I'm a little bit toxic, but this for me doesn't fall under the toxic category. So like, if you feel disrespected by a guy in any way, to hold your dignity and be like that's not okay, I don't appreciate that, and just telling people straight.

So that means if you feel disrespected by a guy early on while you're dating, to call them out on it.

Absolutely, And I would, I would always do this. And I know you're looking at me like I'm being toxic, but I don't think that's toxic.

I don't think that's toxic either. I think I think.

That's like being straightforward with something obviously on like the first like let's say two dates, like it's nice to be polite and like, you know, it's we all want to just have a good time, get to know each other, see for on a like a playing field where we kind of are wanting.

The same things.

Once we get to like date three, if someone does something where I'm feeling disrespected, I mean, even date one, if someone did something where I was disrespected, I would probably be like, I don't appreciate that.

It depends on that.

It depends on the circumstances.

Definitely ghost and you wouldn't talk to them again. I feel like, yeah, just be like nah.

Yeah you're out. You struck our first guy.

And I like that though, So I reckon. We put that into the non toxic because I reckon. A strong minded, independent woman, like I said before.

Is hot, but that's not for everyone.

Like I remember when and I know this is like such a random like example, but when we were on Loveland, I remember Owen was kind of like had me and Jesse both on the go and was he actually said to me on Love Island. This is such a random example, but it's just literally come to my mind. He literally said to me like, I'm gonna choose you over Jesse. And then he still hadn't made a decision. So that night I went up to him and I was like,

You reckon he couldn't take that strong.

Well, everyone's different, Like you love a strong woman, you know, Michael loves a strong woman.

That's why he's with me. But like, some guys want to be the alpha, and like I.

Think they want that masculinity.

Yeah, like they want to be like the boss.

And I think it can like either like really work or it can go in the opposite direction where a guy will be like, you're too strong for me, And I think, look, if you're a strong woman, be strong like you. I want someone who can handle that. If someone is like threatened by that, then like fuck them off.

Anyway, I think there is a fine line. Like obviously, I think every man, like and myself, wants to feel masculine and wants to be like the person.

That's like somewhat dominant dominant.

Yeah, but then again, I don't mind for a girl to take like the lead on some sort of stuff. Like I'm like, yeah, whatever, absolutely chill with me. Like I like that a girl, like you know the old cliche thing that they always say when there's like a girl doesn't know what she wants to eat or what she wants to drinks, like I don't care, Like I don't like that that does that Like that actually frustrates me.

Yeah, and like look and everyone's different, like some guys might be like I want to take the lead in order, but like you know, it's also I guess when you're dating about getting to know people, getting to know what they're like and whats are. But yeah, like I think it really is like dependent on the person. But I think that another toxic way to make someone obsess with you is to kind of make them prove themselves to you, not the other way around. So like, for instance, like

A little bit toxic, A lot of bit toxic. I don't know, what do you think?

I reckon this one could go either way because like I feel like if you there's a I think there's a fine line to make it not toxic and toxic. Really like you should always go into the mentality of dates when you're dating, of like what are you bringing me? Do? I like you? Yeah, but like don't make it so

That is so bad.

And you just keep pulling that ladder higher and higher and they're just trying to get never ending ladder of them trying to impress you.

Look, give them a preview to what life would be like with you. I don't think this is toxic, but like you know, like put your best foot forward, especially for the first few dates. You know, Like the thing is is in life, we all just want to have a good time. We want to have fun, we want

Imagine dating a girl like a couple of dates, so dating a guy should I say, or just dating someone a couple of dates in and then like something goes wrong and you get to see their full fun can like you know what I mean, side I crack it and they're like getting real frustrated.

You'd be like, hell no, probably don't show.

Them that preview of you. I reckon I would have scared Genoway and a lot of girls in my life done that early.

I think we could have all scared a lot of people away. We were like our Like.

The thing is is it's not really your authentic self. It's like you on a bad day or like you when you're at like optimum ten out of ten stress levels, So like we're not always like that, and yeah, we just like probably don't show them This one. I love because I feel like it kind of relates to me and Michael, and that is to give people space and allow them to admire you from a distance. So when Michael and I met, we met at the Spie at

Speaking of that and now our partners, I admired from a far gen for six years. Yeah, and then like again, I messaged her and I was like, are you ready to rock and roll? And then she was like, not right now, I'm still in that stage. And I said I respect that. And then two months later, yes, she messed me and said she was ready to get a drink kid. Yeah, so that's like a good point. Yeah, these aren't even that toxic. Depends how to be honest. I mean, a person would take these and would make

There definitely are some that are toxic. But I also think that we have a little bit of toxic in us, which we're not afraid to admit.

And that's so I were like, hmm, is that that toxic?

I don't know.

We're like, no, they're not that toxic.

Yeah, we're the toxic one.

And then I think the last one that we want to touch on is a triangle effect.

We touched on this before.

It's left eye looking in the right eye, down to the mouth, and then back up to both eyes. It's just it's sexy as a guy, you probably have every girl's done this year and you haven't even noticed, honestly, Like it's kind of like builds that sexual tension and like that kind of like feeling in the air of like, oh, like this is like I mean, this is like more like for a woman, I would say where we're like, this could be like moving in the right direction.

This could be a second base. I don't even know what second base is. This could be moving to like something a bit more.

I'm trying to think right now when you say that, if I've ever seen that and not, I don't feel like I have, but I feel like I felt what comes after it, if you know what I mean.

I think your ex, yeah, did it to you?

Reckon?

Yeah, I think I actually saw that with my own eyes. When you're like, I don't think that's happened to Hi, I'm like, it definitely have.

She had a different way of doing things. She was Yeah, she knew what she was doing with that.

Okay, well, look it's that time of the show where we find out where our heads are at.

Don't go anywhere, let's get into it, all right. So you're about to ask us where our heads are at. This first one comes in from Stacy.

Okay, so Stacey has said, I'm struggling to get guys to stay interested in me after a first date. The conversation usually to die after the first date, and I'm trying my best not to come across desperate. How do I make him obsessed with me?

Okay, Stacy, I reckon maybe your check game shit. Honestly, what do you I think you should take away our tips that we've said here and see where it goes from there. Obviously, I think maybe you're picking guys that aren't interested in going on more than a first date. Yeah, I like that. Maybe you, like I said, maybe your check game is a bit shit.

Maybe I'll tell her her check game.

Well, maybe it's not so much. It could be anyhiw it could be the guys that they're not interested in going on another date. I think if a couple of guys are not wanting to go on a second day, then.

It's chat the reflection of you. Nah, that's so mean. Look, I think she could be meeting the wrong guys.

Is that option as well?

You know, like there's a lot of times where you meet someone and you're just like, it's not you. It's literally just that there's no like you're a great person, there's no like sparks and connection.

So honestly, Stacey, I don't think worry. I think that if you keep going on these first dates, let's think about it, what's the worst thing that's happening. You're getting to meet new people, You're getting a free feed, a free drink.

If they're paying hope.

So but like you know what I mean, Like you're learning, and I feel like people forget actually the fun side of dating.

Yeah, it's a learning experience as well, Like we learn things we like grow Like Also, like I guess like maybe come at it from the angle, like you know, what are they doing to like make me interested in them?

Okay, Stacy, I reckon, try this for your next date. Okay, maybe you say, okay, hey, you've organized a date. But then you say you've got a flat tire. So you go out, give yourself a punch out. You ask them to do a favor. They come change a tire. As they're there, you compliment them, they say how handy they are. The whole time. You keep eye contact. So you're keeping eye contact with them, but remember to use their name,

I'm going to start here right here. Thank you so much, Matt for the advice. Everyone's already heard the podcast.

This is the This is the Ultimate date on how to make him obsessed with you touch him casually as changing your tire, you know what that.

With the whole touching thing.

Like, I actually hate it when, like I'm not into a guy and they touched.

Me too much.

So I would say, like, especially for a first date, if you if you're not one hundred percent sure that they're into you, like I would keep the touching to like a minimum like here and there. That's fine, But like I get the ike. If a guy's like overtouching me, I'm just gonna put that that's.

A guy for girl. It's a bit different when a girl's touching a guy.

True, well is it? I don't know.

We both were all out there being like, who's this person? Okay, So the next one has come in from Jemima. She has written in saying what fragrances male and female can you use to make them obsessed with you?

Fuck? We haven't even spoken about fragrances, Matt.

I reckon Britney spears fantasy I reckon that's such a such a it's just a good smelling one. And I think that like it could go one or two ways. You could have one that I literally have, Like my sister wears my exes perfume. Amber, our producer, wears another one of my exes every time, like they come to me. I'm like, oh Jesus, that reminds me of thing that reminds you things I could go could go either way really, Like.

Do you know what?

Once I was seeing this guy and we were at Maya and he literally pointed out this fragrance to me and he was like, oh my god, I love this fragrance.

You should get it.

And I was like, what is it? I was like, I was like, don't tell me, this is your exes perfume.

I kid you not.

It was like, yeah, I just love this smell. I was like, you love your ex you freak?

Like what do you mean?

Like that's I can't believe that I'm seeing a guy who's telling.

Me to wear their exes perfume, Like, are you right?

Hindsight? He was doing that, so you didn't leave that your smell on him when he went back to her.

Do you think that's what it is I used to.

Tell girls to not wear a perfume to my house because I didn't want the smell on my sheets.

Why because you were like had a high rotation by Yeah.

I used to say, it give me a headache if I smelt it on my sheets.

Sick Matt so.

Lightly. I love it when in all serious and so I love it when a guy is wearing like a sexy cologne like Chanel Blue.

That's got that love that in the villain Remember in the villa, like six people were wearing Yeah, it.

Was the smell of yeah, yeah, literally do your savage. That is like that is the hottest perfume, like I said when we were on Love Island. Then I'll say it again, hottest male perfume in my opinion.

Do you you what's your female ones?

Oh geez I honestly I don't know. Maybe like I used to, I wear that Republica one from Mecca. It's a girl and guys one. Oh nice, and that's really good.

Yeah. Now that I run, I have this little square one and it's from Mecca.

It's like so expensive.

Michael got it for me for my birthday and it's like almost about to run out, which I'm so sad about and it's like I wish I knew what it was called, but it is like amazing. I'll put it on our Facebook group for everyone who's interested. That one's amazing, But if you want like a cheaper one, I love like love, love Love from Chemists Warehouse The Euphoria by Calvin Klein, likeugh to die for. I used to get

I used to wear Calvin Klein one day. Now I've moved to Tommy. Yeah, just every day one, but yeah, my going out one's with the Channel by. The tricky thing about fragrances is when I wear Chanel, it reminds me of like, you know, like a different time in my life. So I really refrain from wearing that now, like it's weird.

Yeah, fragrances can be hit and missed for that reason, because you can you can be like, my god, I smell amazing, this guy's going to be so attracted to me, But realistically he can be like, oh my god, they smell like my egg, but I.

Go fuck you, smell like like my axe. And then when my sister, like when she comes when we're at my Mom's like a fuck me, what's her name here?

Now?

What's going on?

Yeah, you like get freaked out?

Yeah yeah, yeah, So that's a real hit and miss just but I mean, I look, I think it's always a mate, like it's always great to smell amazing, and like people should definitely have a nice fragrance.

I think it's something nice.

Don't overdo it like I used to reckon like shower and perfume when I was like in nineteen twenty, I would like literally like spray like twenty puffs of the perfect.

What do you reckon? You realize that you don't have to put too much on I'm an adult, and you're like you don't probably like last year, and you realize I don't need this marsh On.

Yeah, like a nice like hint is nice, Like you don't need to like overpower everyone in the room and like give everyone.

An asthma attack.

Okay, well look I think that's all we have time for today, Matt. It's in a really fun episode.

Hopefully we've helped you make someone obsessed with you. Let us know. Message us on Instagram or join our Facebook group. We're loving the interaction there. You guys are funny and hilarious. We're loving it, so let's kick that up.

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