WHY WE DATE PEOPLE SIMILAR TO OUR PARENTS…

I want the fairy tale. I want the prince charming.

She how do I put this? Isn't a fan of my kissing style.

With a boyfriend and girlfriend for about twelve hours.

He's in a trash bin.

He's non recyclable. Catching him up.

I love being love. I love love. On today's episode of Where's Your Head Out, we are celebrating Father's Day and we are pleased to welcome Ana's dad, Brian McAvoy to the studio.

We will be asking my dad what he has thought about my previous boyfriends and what are his thoughts on Michael two.

So stay tuned.

Where's Your Head At is a podcast that talks all things relationships, breakups, reality TV, trending shows, and everything in between.

This is your new go to destination for laughs, gossip, intimate details, advice, and much more.

Hey Dad, Happy Father's Day.

Thank you very much, Happy Father's Day. Welcome to the studio.

It's good to see you.

Good to see you too.

You're looking good. He's all he's in his suit.

I'm a lot better than the last time you saw me at an it's thirtieth I was incohesive at that point. We're having a long chat and I can't remember.

You were both pretty drunk in my thirties to be.

Honest, so you don't remember it, then I do remember.

There's a lot of Red Warrior. We had to get rid of someone shirts some good drug good night.

Thought it was good for it was a good out on a park bench and got my phone and stolen No, that was the winner of the night. Yeah. So I ended up the passing out and didn't have a phone or anything and kiled a cab on Chapel Street, got home, climbed through the window and just passed out. All right. So do you guys have much plan for Father's Day?

No, not the year because that was on a weekend trip to the country.

I'm actually Missing's Day. So Father's Day is this Sunday. Little reminder for any of ours, your head out listeners who haven't got their data present, this is your queue to do that.

Yeah.

So we're actually going up to Moldura to see Michael's sister's baby because we haven't.

Seen him in a while.

Will Michael's father be there, No, so we're not. We're not. See.

Yeah, it's a double fail this year. But we will celebrate Father's Day on Monday. If that's okay with.

You, It's not as good as some people.

The guilt trip has garden.

Well, you better get him a good present.

Then I might have to give him like an extra good present. What is the best Father's Day present?

I've got?

Here?

Being with me on Father's Day it is probably the best present.

Now I'm actually feeling good.

He's really all right. Well, let's let's dive straight into it because we're a dating podcast here, so we want to talk about your dating history as well as anna dating history and what your history.

I wasn't expecting that draw.

Well see where it goes, but and what your opinion on Anna's dating history has been. So, how did you feel when Anna started dating?

Nervous Detective.

Did you put any rules in of what age she could start dating or were you just like, go out of your own thing?

We did, but she wanted to negotiate when we said twenty five, so we moved it back down to twenty one.

Still, she was seventeen seventeen eighteen, if I.

Remember right, But you were quite strict growing up.

We were strict.

I think there was a rule, wasn't there She couldn't date while she was studying or am I.

Yeah, that was the plan? That was the rule. Wasn't always said that a.

Bit of a rebel. Things didn't always go to plan.

She's pretty good.

Did you out going on dates or sneaking out?

No, it was just the old ones where all the girls told someone else they were staying at someone else's house.

When you folded it out, you could never just there was a bit of that going on.

Why do we think the parents never clicked on to that. It's so obvious as well when you think, yeah.

I know, I know there was.

There was definitely a couple of times where I said I was staying at friends houses and we would go out clubbing and my parents didn't know about it. But I mean it only happened like twice, So I feel like in general I was actually very good.

And I think it was because.

They were so strict that like even just doing a little bit felt like really bad and like really naughty, like I was really doing the wrong thing, so like I wasn't going like full ham at the club every weekend.

Were you as strict on Chris as you were with Anna or by that point were you just like we.

Were kind of strict, but I think Anna encouraged him. Well, she used to take him out.

So I was a bad influence, was.

Trying to bring Chris because she would take him out.

It's also like I reckon, Like when you're the first child, you have to break your parents in.

You reckon Like I was the oldest in the first as well.

Yeah, like you have to you have to feel like you have to set the standard. And I set the standard. And like Christopher and my brother, he just got an easy run through.

Yeah, family, I got it well as strict as my parents could have been there. We were with me and now with Emma. She she's the ruler of the house. She's a matriarch.

But Emma, his younger sister, is so mature, like she's eighteen, eighteen eighteen, and like I mean sometimes she seems a bit more mature than you now.

Well growing up she if she did anything immature, Lara and me were like straight onto her for it. Yeah, giving her a hard time.

And it's good.

It's worked because she's like she's unreal, Like I think she's amazing.

Yeah, she is a great girl. So there were there were no ground rules set for Anna. She had to be.

Oh yeah, we Actually we went everywhere together, didn't we. Yeah, we went over together, we went for dinner together.

We traveled together.

Side of it, I was constantly on family holidays and all my friends around, my friends and another. But I like, I'm obviously very grateful for it now looking back, like it was amazing and that's why I'm a daddy's girl.

Well, I've always been a daddy's girl, that's true.

So would you say you're closer with your dad then than you?

I think that me and my dad are very similar personality wise, wouldn't we say?

I think so, And I think.

That's why we click and bond more because I think like he can probably see a little bit of himself is always rebelliousself in me, and I kind of like look up to him, and I think, like, you're very successful and that's inspiring to me.

And you know, I think we respect one another.

Yeah, that's nice. So would your mum be closer with your brother than you?

Reckon, I'd say so, would you, although you're quite close with my brother as well as both of us.

This was my best Yeah, I was just when you said we were very somewhow it reminded of the time when we had an argument.

You're about seventeen.

Oh god, don't tell the story.

I think we drove. I think we drove around the car for three hours.

I don't know what it was about, but it was about something about taking the car or doing something, or she hadn't understudies.

You take the car and we both and I jumped in the car.

He said to me, he said to me, I'm taking the car off of you.

I said, no, you're not, and I'm going to stay in here all day.

And it was just like this Mexican standoff where we both sat in the car for like three hours.

Yeah, we started driving and for three hours in the car.

Given would you say you get your stubborn side away from your old man? Yes?

Absolutely, but in fairness, so imagine us like we're both like in the car and then my dad all of a sudden goes, should we go get a drink? He's like, He's like, I'm stubborn, but I need a beer at this point.

Too much three hours of arguing.

The thing is is like, it's all good and well to have an argument with someone else, but you were arguing against yourself because I am here.

But I didn't give him you never give him, but we settled on I'm.

Just too much pressure and well, Anna's stubborn side will be the vein of my existence.

You're as well.

We're on a table here with three very stubborn people.

Yeah, I guess all right, Well let's dive into what have you thought of Anna's previous boyfriends? Is there any that stand out to you that you've gone an absolute twat or any that you've gone you know what I mean? You had to sit from afar and let Anna realize that this wasn't the one.

I felt if I did that was that she probably rebel.

Yeah, so you can't really so I didn't.

Want to say he's really bad because which you would have rebelled. But there's some odd ones, not that it's really three people are remember, but Michael's top of the tree is doing well.

He's Michael. He's good.

So what are your thoughts on Michael? Then?

I think it's a good bloke. I think he's intelligence.

I think he's he looks after Anna, which is the most important thing. And he has a common influence on which is Anna, which is hard to do. There's some previous boyfriend.

It was just explosions so it did no name. So he's quite charming in that way.

He's quite charming in that way. So I think it's good. I think I think it's great.

I like him, Yeah, I like him.

It's so true, Like I feel like when you're around different personalities, like you can really clash before someone can really have a positive impact on you. And I think that was one of the reasons where I really it was like Michael is like it for me, Like he is amazing because even with like little things that I would normally be like a bit like agitated or aggy about, Michael just has such a soothing influence on me. And I think that's one of the reasons why I do love him so much.

I think that's something that you need to look for in a partner as well, someone that like finds, like understands your quirks and instead of antagonizing it and making it worse. And like I like to say to Jen, when you're in a spiral, because you and me both spiral very very bad, not to like add to the spiral and make it go quicker, to rip you out and be like you've been in a fuckhead, like come back to reality.

Yeah, yeah, let's put two feet on the ground and let's.

Just get grounded and understand what's going on.

Absolutely.

Look, I've got to admit, if I'm ever blessed enough to have a daughter, I think one of the hardest things would be them dating. I reckon watching them go out and you know, your precious little girl going out and into the big bad world and dating. It would be really confronting and hard. So bit of respect for that.

I'm watching that smack on your face, But that's because you know what you all like. That's that's a that's a bit of guilt factor. It's called right.

I was literally about to say, mate, I am I've said that a lot.

Yeah, is that a thing? Dad?

Well, I don't know. I think.

Quick to answer your question, I think with that and she's very strong and yeah, I was actually more worried about Chris when he was going I was not the decent side of the board going to the club and scene.

Yeah, I was moorried about him than because I was.

I think my mom. Yeah, my mum was the exact same like with me and my sister. She knew that, like they're strong, independent women and that I sort of have a mouth me and I have said this before. Chris and myself, I think have a lot of common in that sort of way. I don't want to call Chris out or anything, but have taken a while to mature. Yeah, and that like we've learned the hard way and through life lessons and that.

Yeah, yeah, I think.

Yeah, My mum was the same. She was worried about me going out more than my sister.

Which is so interesting. Hey, like you that you worry more about like a son.

But I guess if like you have a daughter who is a strong woman, exactly right.

But then, like you know, other people weren't brought up the same way as us, So that's what you're going to be more worried about, you know, which brings me to my next point. You've done a very good job at raising Anna. I mean I did say that a stubbornness is annoying, but we worked through it. We come out the other end.

Don't make out like we work through it. From my sub.

We've come out the other end quite well.

You know how you asked my dad a question before about like guys that I've dated that are bad. I actually just thought of his story and it actually makes me laugh so much. It's actually probably one of my funniest stories of you. And it was when my dad picked me up from the airport and I was seeing a guy at the time, and I was like, hey, can we pick him up on the way because me and him are going to go out after my Dad's like okay, like if I have to.

He was out.

He had been at the races all day, so he was like a little bit drunk.

A little bit drunk every day every day the race.

And so we picked him up in the car and then I'm going to throw it to you because do you remember what he said when he got in the car.

This is the guy that we'd actually just previously in the UK And we got the train from Glasgow to Liverpool and you spoke to him all the way for like three hours. You know, I'm thinking this guy must be interesting if you speak to someone for three hours, like talking talking the phone anyway, use a long story sideways. What happens is says he wants to pick this guy up. He gets in the car, he's in the back of the car. He did a few jakes, and I thought, well, we'll allow for that.

The races.

Yeah, but this guy was like, your daughter is the most beautiful girl. The wells she did, she can do this, she could do everything. She's fantastic. You're so lucky that that you brought this beautiful.

Girl as the world just going on and it was just too much. And in the end, I just said, you're full of ship.

And I've never said that to anyone, never mind Anna's boyfriends.

But he was really bad and it was it was painful.

So what happened after this thing?

It was dead silence, laughed and then someone got a nervous laugh to take the heat out.

To Can you imagine your parents saying to someone you're seeing, you're full of ship?

I was like, Dad, you're a subtle as a brick.

Well, I've never ever said that.

You haven't actually said that to anyone, and I kind of understand where you were coming from, kind of. I still think maybe it could have been a bit more subtle about there you're full of ship comments.

I remember when you first met over zoom Josh on my violence. Didn't you do that? I think to him, done, Yeah, I remember that was quite Have you been intimidating then to Anna's partners when she's brought him home, because that's too intimidating counters.

So maybe, yeah, maybe I'm just trying to weed them out, but obviously not Diflent.

We needn't weed out the ones.

He's had a good job of yourself, all right, So then if that didn't work to win you over, what would win you over? And found the one? But yes, what would be some tips of people that are listening and they want to win their partners father over, just.

Be natural, bringing lots of gifts, not the wine known again good wine of.

Course, top shelf.

I think for me it's the fact if you forget everything else Michaels, let yourself full of job and personality.

I have to agree with that you It gives me a lot.

Yeah, excives me.

But I think it's the most importantly the fact that the way maker looks after Anna and calms it down and keeps a ground.

The main point is just be good to the daughter or the partner and then you.

Yeah you think, I think, yeah, that should be part of the deal anyway, if you're not, if it's false, it's what I reckon.

Like you said, a father knows best, so they know if their daughter or son is not happy in a relationship like they can see through you.

Can see it a mile away.

Like even with friends, Like you see your friends and they're in toxic relationships and they're like, oh yeah, yeah, I really love them.

I love them, but like you.

Know, ninety percent of the time they're like crying and having a meltdown in a terrible mood. Like it's not hard to see someone who is in a bad relationship, and it's not hard to see when someone's not making someone happy.

You've got to look into their eyes. They could be smart, but their eyes they help me. Please.

That's it, all right.

So we've spoken a lot about Anna's dating history, so after this, let's speak about yours.

Okay, my dad is in the studio.

He's just talked about how it has been for him dealing with having a daughter dating.

But what was your dating life like?

It was probably a bit like yours. Everyone else's boy beats girl.

Or yeah was it wild?

Was there toxic relationships before you met mum?

Not really?

A few relationships but nothing.

So you grew up where'd you grow up?

Again?

In Liverpool and England you might hear from the accent.

So what was it like over the dating road?

Yeah, No, it was just like anywhere else. There's no difference in dating. You went to the pouview and the night club. Actually usually where you met someone. There was no apps, there was no phones. When I first met your lovely mother over in a southern part of Spain, Yeah, beautiful little village.

Were out the other day about meeting people on vacation. So you go.

And the points get that was when we first started dating. I had to go to a phone box and call at a certain time with loads of coins. And sometimes when your granddad or your papa John a dancer, sometimes you'd see she wasn't in, but she was in, and they had to send a letter, write a letter the pen and paper, I assure you, I'll give you an example of what though, if you've never seen what a stamp on putting the postbox and used to get there about four days later, that just.

Seems like so much effort, right, Like, obviously you're not dating people who you don't really like, because you're not like looking like spending your coins at the phone box, so you're not penning out a letter to someone who you just like.

Maybe, like I feel like that's a definition of like true love. Like I think that's lost on this generation. Absolutely, so easy to ask, so extendable that we can just message whenever, call ever and have that ability that you forget how much hard work our parents put in.

Also my parents, like my dad's from England, my mom's from Scotland. So they met on holiday. But then obviously they're living in like separate would you call it states countries country?

Sorry, I'm thinking Australia.

Well, at least they're still in the same like they are posts in the UK. My dad was in Australia and my mum was in Bahrain. Wow, I had to really make it work.

Yeah, that's a lot of coins.

And how did they go? How did they meet up with it?

My mum was a flight attendant, so she was on a stopover in Melbourne and she went to remember Bobby McGhee's were you around here now? Okay, yeah, because you guys came to Melbourne in like two thousand, didn't.

You eighteen years ago?

Yeah?

Yeah.

So they met at a nightclub and then my dad went home together and my dad, yeah, fell in love. And I think this is why mum's version of that. He was head over heels and just flew over to Bahrain and was like, You've got to come back with me, live with me, all that sort of stuff.

Very cute.

Yes, I think, did you ever do that?

Or no?

I think I think Scotland was fine enough for me because I was living in London at the time, so yeah, it was, it was. And we used to meet for weekends, so I'd go to Scotland, I'd get a drive up sometimes sometimes I'd get a coach or the trade and then sometimes we meet in Liverpool halfway.

So we started having kind of like a long distance relationship. How long did it take for it to turn into you guys being together?

I guess I suppose.

I suppose the first you kind of know, the first few months you kind of know and yeah, it's going to happen. And then within two years two and half years, we were engaged and married.

So wow. And then you're after a little little a little Chrystopher. Yeah, as kids usually a little true.

Naturally. Actually.

Okay, So it's Father's Day this weekend, so for all of our listeners who are going to be doing some last minute shopping, we thought we'd ask my dad, what is a good Father's Day gift? Obviously before you did touch on the fact that spending time with your dad is probably the best gift. But what is like a physical gift that you can give your dad, that something that maybe you would like and appreciate for ourselves.

Yeah, so I can actually throw it up a level. You can go for the buttl of Grange red wine, no nu joke. So the what you got the last.

Year, Yes, was it like a track suit, the gray track suit.

It was great because we've kind of in lockdown and it.

Was like oversized track suit, it's actually unreal.

And a pair of sheepskin slippers look slippers.

Yeah, that's way.

Better than what I gave me and my sister's normally right my dad, iou actually said us the other day, please don't get.

Another let them all together.

Yeah, they're all stuck stage. But I also get him like because he loves Star Wars the same as I do. So it's a cheap gag to get him a dart Fader I am your father sort of or something solid.

Another idea is also to do kind of like an experienced gift, so like maybe gold class tickets where you can both go see a movie together and kind of like hang out together.

Things like that where you can actually you reap.

The awards as well. Yeah, I mean why not?

I think that's right. Assure me where you do together a ballue and ride or Blue Rise.

I'm gonna have to deep in the pocket this year.

No track suit. Yeah, well even for someone another thing that if you don't it doesn't have to be expensive for that. Just cook him a nice you know, invite him to your house, you know, write them a meaningful card, or cook them breakfast in bed, something like that. Something that's like has a bit more thought and a bit more sentimental value in it as well.

I think I love that.

Okay, well, look we are going to talk all things why we date people who are like our parents next?

Okay, So, and is it true that we date people that are like our parents? Because I'm not show off the bat that I look for quality in women when I was well, when I was dating that they needed to be very nurturing and mothering like my mum. So I think there is some truth to that statement.

Yeah.

So people tend to be attracted to specific features that resemble those of their opposite sex parent. Interestingly, Matt, a sample of six hundred and ninety seven participants found that men and women were both likely to have romantic partners and opposite sex parents who have the same eye color and hair color. Does Jen have the same eyes and hair as your mum?

No, Jen has beautiful blue eyes, but her hair is brunette, And that is equality. I look for my put. Do you go for a brunette if you love a brunette, Well.

Michael doesn't really look like nothing.

That's the theory of the window.

I mean they're both tall. You're how tall are you? Six three? Six three? Michael six four?

I mean you both have brunette, but I mean the eye color, and I.

Wouldn't say your dad's brunette gray.

You were brown at one point in the middle. We're in the middle now.

About I look nothing lately.

I was trying to.

That.

That's well, that's Anna's main point that she looks for in her guy is the high like we said, hit on him multiple times. Sorry to all the short kings that try.

But it's not just looks white.

So it also is a personality thing. So we look for personality traits that are very similar to our opposite sex parents. It's actually called imprinting. So we actually learned to associate the traits of our caregibers with those of a desirable mate. And I guess that's kind of just because, like as a kid, our parents are people hopefully who we can rely on and trust, and then we associate that with someone who we potentially want to be with long term.

So that definitely happened to me with the nurturing motherly side of absolutely. Do you reckon it's happened to you with your old man?

I think for sure, Like I think personality wise, Michael and you are like the closest in personality I reckon that you've ever been to any boyfriend. There's been a couple who have been similar to you personality wise.

Are those not so much? Okay, Well, look, I think.

It's that time of the show that we love. It's time to find out where our heads are at.

It's our favorite time of the show again, it's called Where's our Heads At? So we get you to ask us where our heads are at, and we have our special guests with us and as dad Brian. All Right, so the first question Anna.

Okay, Kerrie has written into us and said I don't have the best real life relationship with my dad. We don't have much in common, and I don't know how to organize things for us to do together because he is always busy, stress or tired. How can I improve our relationship?

Well, I know that I didn't have the best relationship with my old man growing up. We were two different like we were just I will cut from different cloths. He didn't understand me. But now we're actually good mates, Like we'll chat on the phone now. And I think I think it took both of us realizing that, like he is Mike, I'm his son, he's my dad. And I think as well, I saw a shift of the relationship when I went on Love Island and he saw

That's amazing.

Yeah, And the number one tip we had was to spend time together and put ourselves outside of our comfort zone where we have the ability to hang out and we'd do things that he wanted to do, things that I wanted to do.

That's amazing.

I don't know a lot of parents or maybe people aren't open about it, So thank you for being open about it. So you think that's something that can really work.

Yeah, we would. The cancellor would tell us, like, you guys should do something on the weekends. Every Saturday. We put time aside. One was a his spin class, another one was I think we watched Star Wars together, like just stuff that we're like, we bonded over.

So maybe that's something that we can tell the listeners to maybe find things that you have in common and maybe do them together. Find commonalities that you guys have and maybe try to bond over those things.

Yeah, let me ask you a question.

Mark the counselor was not because guys used to do the wrestling together before that or.

It was around the same time. So the wrestling actually did help us as well because he was a big fan of wrestling. He was the reason I got into wrestling, so he we just speak about that and it was yeah, it was literally the same time. Yeah, and then that was a good thing as well. So now when we call each other week, we can chat for like half an hour, chat to him for half an hour the other day. Like I remember one of the first times we started actually chatting. I was like after, I was like, gee,

Yeah, because I met your dad, if you remembers at the airport, Yes, I remember we were.

We were talking to your mom and dad and your sisters.

Yeah.

Did you get along with him then? Did you guys click? Yeah? Yeah, he had a common thing. We've both been on TV for us coming out common ground to chat about.

Okay, our next listener, Riley has written in and said, my dad doesn't accept any of my boyfriends and makes my dating life extremely difficult.

Help Dad, do you want to do? You want to take this one away?

I think the first question is how old is Riley?

Sue Riley?

How old?

She said itself?

When do you think that like people should be allowed to start dating as a dad.

I think eighteen is pretty you know, standard, pretty standard, But yeah, I don't know the detail, but obviously, yeah, I do feel for it.

Yeah, there's definitely a fine line. Like obviously, dating is such an important part of like socializing as like a seventeen, eighteen year old, and it's like these life lessons that you need to learn, and if you have a parent who's just completely stopping any of that from happening, then it's kind of stopping that progression. But in saying that, like you can totally understand from a parent's point of view that they're just trying to be protective.

It's life lessons that to be honest, a father can't teach a daughter when they go out and date exactly, you know, and they have to learn it for themselves. Like I said before, it would be the fucking hardest thing to see your daughter go out there and date, Like fuck.

That, Yeah, that would be one of those people like.

How are you seeing?

Like I think I saw in a TV show and like the kids go to like the cinema and.

The dad like in the back and he's in the middle of the popcorn.

No, he's at the back.

As soon as he sees it like going in for a kiss, He's like throwing popcorn.

Popcorn. Oh, I think that's all part of it. But have you seen Anna's heart be broken? It's as a father. How is that as well? How do you find that to see because obviously that would be heartbreaking for you.

I've never seen a heartbroken and such.

I know her first relationship. I think that was a really good relationship. But she was upset after the break up. But she knew dig down, she did how's happened, but she was upset about that was the first time I seen upset.

Okay, Dad, thank you so much for coming into the studio. It has been so amazing having you in. We've actually spoken obviously we've had your mum in the studio and that I've been excited to have my dad in.

So I'm glad we got to do this interview with you.

Thanks for listening everyone, as always, make sure you give us a five star review.

It means the world to us. And until next time. Bye.

Thanks for coming in. Happy Father's Day, Thank you

Happy Father's Day.