WHY DID I GET GHOSTED? F**K!

I want the fairy tale. I want the prince charming.

She how do I put this? Isn't a fan of my kissing style with.

The boyfriend and girlfriend for about twelve hours. He's in a trash bin. He's non recyclable. Catching them up.

I love being love. I love love. On today's episode of Where's Your Head At, we are sharing some of our experiences that we've had with ghosting.

We've both been ghosted and we both have ghosted, so we'll be discussing why people decide to ghost rather than end things properly and why it crushes us so much.

Stay tuned to hear how I got ghosted Pyana.

Where's Your Head At?

Is a podcast that talks all things relationships, breakups, reality TV, trending shows, and everything in between.

This is your new go to destination for laughs, gossip, intimate details, advice, and much more. All right, and welcome to the studio. We have a very spooky episode today. We are discussing ghosting. I'm that before we get stuck into it. How have you been. How's your life going? Yeah?

Good, Everything's been really busy.

I feel like I came back from Bali and just hit the ground running. So we've just been in the studio a lot. Michael and I are going really well. But you've got some very exciting news.

Yes I do. So, Jen and myself have found a rental property. So actually we are renting maybe two to three streets away from you, so very close.

And that can't get enough of me. So he's moved. He's moved in right beside me.

Yeah, I reckon, I could try put a footy to your front door. But yeah, So we've decided to rent with Jen's twin sister, Nikki and her boyfriend Murph. So the four of us have got a three bedroom in Saint Kilda East. Ah.

Congratulations, that's really exciting news.

Thank you. Yeah. I've been joking though because the twins last name is Ward. Yeah, so I've been saying that we're moving into the psychiatric ward. That's so me and you know it's a red flag when the inmates run the asylum, so they run a tight shift there. So me and mrf Dog are in for some dramas there.

Poor Jen and Nikki.

Well, yeah, we've got a It's really weird because the last weekend, my weekend was completely different. We started shopping for house ornaments, I guess apparently, Yeah, furnishure shopping. Apparently we're going with a coastal vibe. Have told me so. Yeah, I was looking at like clam bowls because I don't know all this weird stuff. That's just not what I do.

But never did I think I'd see the day that Natt was shopping for clam ball It's really like on this podcast. This podcast has evolved so much. I love it, mate.

I know I ended up buying as well, a prickly pair so it's just big cactus. Yeah, just an inside joke between Jen and I. We watched Naked and Afraid and they eat prickly pears a lot. So I saw one and I was like, all right, we're gonna have that in case we can get starving one night. We can go eat that. But we're talking today about ghosting, so I've got a funny story. Obviously, we're moving out of my property. With that, Me and the boys have been renting for a year. I've touched on how Jen

That skeptical of it's still awesome.

Yes, say we can do this. It's been nearly two and a half weeks have not heard back from them for a quote clean the house.

So you've been ghosted by the cleaners. Wow, that's a whole new loan mat.

I know, I know they've gone, They've probably copped back into their van and they've gone, you know what, fuck this, it's not worth it.

Hell no, this isn't worth the money.

Let's let's just take off and never speak to this flok again. So, yeah, I've been ghosted by cleaners. I've been ghosted by a lot of people. I've ghosted a lot of people, but never cleaners.

Well, look, let's jump into our ghosting episode on that night.

Okay, So what is ghosting?

Okay, so we've all heard of the term ghosting. It's a way of ending things or breaking up without actually having the confrontation and the conversation, that awkward conversation.

And I reckon that's the worst part about dating.

That is you literally meet someone and you really want it to work out, like everyone wants to meet the one or they're happily ever after fairy tale story. But sometimes it just doesn't work out that way.

Yeah. So ghosting has come to a rise through social media. We've become so used to the whole like disposable sort of life where you swipe right, you swipe left if you don't like him, And it's come to the point now where even if you meet up with someone, if you don't like him, and you just swipe left to him and yeah, next I'm done with you. I'm not even gonna send you a text message.

Yeah.

So it's essentially you're giving someone the silent treatment, not giving them an explanation, and it is actually a form of emotional cruelty because it does leave that person really powerless to the situation.

They start questioning themselves, what did I do wrong? Am I good enough?

It really like hits the ego, it hits the self worth, all right.

And so I'm gonna ask you a quick question. If you've gone on a couple of dates with this bloke, you've had sex a handful of times, would you really expect him to take you out to dinner or for a drink and sit you down and be like, look, Anna, you're a great person, but I just see this going anywhere. We don't have a future.

No, absolutely not.

I think if you're not keen, I think you just send a respectful text message to kind of inform that person. And I think that's why people get so annoyed with ghosts, because they're like, it's so simple to send someone a really easy text message, and I think things that you can say if you don't want to see someone again. Ah, I don't think there's a spark between us. I feel like we're on different pages. I don't see a future between us. It's such a simple message, and I know

Okay, so I've got another one for you. Then, imagine if you got sent that text message from a guy saying, like, you know, like it's not you, it's me. You've only seen him a couple of times. Wouldn't you prince wearing that and send that straight to me and say, have a look at this asshole. Why is he sending me a text message breaking up with me after three days?

You do want to have those conversations with friends, and we all are within our right to have those conversations. But I think what's worse is going what's happening. I'm not really sure. He's kind of drip feeding me text messages. I don't really know what's going on. Like, that's worse. I think it's respectful to give people clarity and clear messages. Matt.

I mean, I'm sitting up here asking you this stuff. But we know I'm the first person that gets ghosted. I'm like, well, what the fuck did I do? Well? Where did it go wrong?

That takes it very hard being ghosted, But look sixty to seventy percent of emerging adults have ghosted someone, so it's not that uncommon.

I'm not surprised by that statistic at all. I mean, the amount of ghosting I've seen in my life. I'm not surprised at all.

Yeah, And I.

Think, like what we've always said that is no response is a response, Like, if someone has enough respect for you, they're going to at least at a bare minimum, give you a respect full end to the situationship or the exclusivity ship or whatever it is you have going on with them. I think the moment that someone ghosts, it doesn't make them a bad person.

It just means that they're just not that invested in you. They just don't care enough about you.

Yeah, they're just not interested. They've gone on and met someone else.

Even so, Matt, do you think that I ghosted you? Because you said that before in our intro and I was a little bit confused.

Do you want to explain that?

So if everyone's listening to this podcast. On the first episode, we touched on the dms that I had sent Anna back in probably got what year now, years ago before we went on Love Island, and I asked you, I think, to dinner. Yeah, and I think you just didn't reply. And then I asked you to come watch me wrestle.

I mean it was a bit random.

I think you like we had like done one modeling shoot together. I had met you once or twice, and all of a sudden you were asking me for dinner and I didn't even really know you.

So it isn't at the point of a date.

Well, I mean, I think I just didn't feel like I owed you a reply. As savage as that sounds, I actually feel bad saying that, but yeah, I just didn't feel like I owed you a response.

Look, I haven't held a garage obviously because we're here now, but I mean it would have been a little bit nicer to me. Again, it's till the touch selty. So there are different types of levels of ghosting.

Anna, Yeah, what are they Okay, So this is important. So there's mild ghosting, there's moderate ghosting, and then there's proper ghosting. So mild ghosting is say you're out at a bar, you meet a guy, you give them your number, you might give them a bit of a kiss on the dance floor, and then you move on with your life and in the morning you get a message from them.

And then you just don't feel like replying.

You're like, maybe had a bit of beer goggle vibes last night, or maybe on Instagram. Yeah, like maybe I'm already seeing someone who I'm more interested in and you just don't reply. In my opinion, that type of ghosting is fine.

Have you done that many.

Many a time?

I think there is nothing wrong with that. I almost would say, is that ghosting? It is to a level, but like.

Everyone does that, Everyone does it, and like you don't know that person, you don't owe them anything.

It is what it is.

In my opinion, I agree, then there's moderate ghosting. So moderate ghosting is when you've actually been on a proper date with someone, You've got to know them, You've maybe talked a little bit about your lives. It could be a first date, a second day, a third date, whatever it is, and then you realize that the interest level just isn't there to continue on with what's going on, and you ghost Have you done this map?

You know what? It's funny we talk about this And I was thinking while I was driving into the studio today, I was like, how did any situationships ive ever? In end? Like I don't even remember or recall because I've never sent a text message or received one from a situationship, so I don't.

Yeah, sometimes they just fizzle out.

They just don't they just messaging each other.

But then it's a case of like did they think that you ghosted them and you just weren't that interested so you never realized. Maybe maybe that's a moderate level.

Ghost without knowing, without.

Knowing, it's a serial moderate level ghost.

May and then we have proper ghosting. So, in my opinion, proper ghosting is when you've actually had a sexual relationship with someone, so you've been on a few dates, it has turned into a bit of a situationship, you've had sex.

I think when you open up to.

Another human being and like let them, yeah, like let them in in that type of way. I think, in my opinion, each party should have the respect to just send a message saying, hey, sorry, the spark's not there, the ViBe's not there, or hey I'm sorry, like I've started seeing someone else. I hope you understand. Like small, respectful text like that can go such a long way, because I think when you have sex with someone, it can really feel super painful to be ghosted after having sex,

That would be pretty shit. You've been talking to him like maybe on and off for a couple of weeks, and then you finally go on a date, you have intercourse, and then you they ghost it. Yeah, you'd be second guessing like what did I do wrong?

Yeah?

I do this wrong? Was I not worthy enough for them? Matt?

Have you been ghosted?

Yes? I have? Actually I believe it or nos?

He looks sad.

Believe it or not? People have ghosted.

This tell us a bit about that we want to know.

So I've seen girls and then like try to organize another like date with them or another like meetup. And I think the classic one is actually when they say they just keep having plants, they have something on you know what I mean?

And they go, is that ghosting?

Well, in a way, yeah, because they're not organizing another date with you. So like you read between the.

Lines, it's something that I do.

Yeah, yeah, that's ghosting. So you go, hey, are you available to get dinner or get a movie or something this week? And they reply saying, oh, no, I'm busy. But then they don't give you another date that they're busy, But then.

Shouldn't you read the room? Why keep asking?

Well, I don't, so I classify that as yeah.

Well it's bread crumbing, right, bread crumbing? Yeah, well like drip feeding.

Yeah, do you want to give us the definitions of bread crumbing and drip feeding because it's a similar scenario.

It is almost now that you say it. So. Bread crumbing is when your crush has no intentions of taking things further, but they still like the attention. So really they'll flirt here and there, send DMS textas just to keep the person interested, knowing damn well that they're not going to take it any further.

That's what that sounds like to me. A little bit of attention here, attention there.

Sometimes you might be seeing someone else as well well, and you don't want to fully shut the door on that person, like you kind of want to keep them there just in case things don't work out. That's very common in twenty first century dating.

It is, Well, did you ghost anyone when you started seeing Michael, Because I know when I started seeing Jen, I ghosted quite a handful of girls, just stopped stopped any communication. I knew I'd found a special one.

So I think it was his handful of.

Yeah, couple, a couple of what scoops? It was a couple of girls here and.

There, you know, yeah I did. There was a guy I ghosted. I went on a date with him.

It just is this the one that you that you went on a date with him and you just were not vibing it. So I was on a date as well, finnily enough, and you were blowing my phone up telling me to come and crash the dates.

I was like, save me.

So I brought my date to your date and I ended up having a random double date on a Wednesday night.

I believe we haven't told this story on our podcast, Like that is one of the classic Anna and Matt single moments. In more detail, yeah, like, look, it's basically what Matt said. I basically was on the date, wasn't like liking it, So it was like going to the toilet a lot during the date.

And I was like, Matt, save me, Like what are you doing?

I know you're on a date tonight and on Chapel Street the same street that I'm in.

Let's meet up, and so basically.

Wand you My date was actually going quite well.

Sorry about that.

So anyway, Matt and his date came and saved me, and then it ended up being the four of us, and then I bailed, and.

I'm pretty sure my date bailed on me in the end. I think I.

Ruined that one for you, But yeah, and then I ended up ghosting him. He messaged me, and then I think I replied like twelve hours later to try and like give him a hint, and then he replied back straight away and then unfortunately.

I had to go.

But I guess it comes down to the fact that I didn't want to have like that deeply emotional breakup conversation with someone who I had met once, Like it just didn't feel comfortable for me to go there and to open up emotionally to someone who, as savage as it sounds, I just didn't care about.

And I agree with that. You don't owe those people anything. You don't one on one date with them, you didn't vibe it, You don't owe them that message. You don't owe them like you know what I mean, flowers and nice break up message.

So it didn't work out Flowers, Yeah.

You don't. And anyone that thinks that they are owed that, like, I think you need like a reality check it's just one date. You'll go on hundreds of first dates hopefully in your life. And do you know what I mean?

And I think, yeah, you can't put too much emphasis on a first date, like people might go on three four different dates every week if someone's like a serial data or if someone's just like very in to that dating scene or whatever it is. And I think why people ghost is just because it's too hard, they're seeing multiple people and they just don't really feel like they owe you anything.

Which look, if it's one date, that's fair enough.

But as we said, as it gets into like moderate ghosting and then into more extreme ghosting, then it becomes not okay in our opinion.

In our opinion. So to sum this up, Anna, do you think it's easier to ghost rather than end things with a person with an explanation of why it went wrong?

Yeah?

I think.

Look, sometimes it's just hard to navigate your emotions and to get really deep and emotional with someone who you don't really care about. And I think it's easier to sometimes as bad as it is to hide behind our screens.

Like you know, these people know that we haven't died.

They can see we've been active thirty minutes to go posting an Instagram story it would like to. I think it's about reading the room and understanding that maybe you're just not high on the priority list.

You remember when you used to have like Messenger and used to see when they were active. Yeah, and then you'd be like, they're clearly ghosting me or Snapchat when they to say when they used to last on.

Oh god, yeah, oh that's giving me so much like well past traumas or yeah, so I can understand why it's easier to go so on just to send that message, all right.

And so a lot of people would see ghosting in a negative way if they've been ghosted and they've been hurt. But what does ghosting actually say about you?

Look, I think it does mean that you have some work to do on yourself and you need to get better at having tough conversations. I was really shit at having tough conversations up until about two years ago. If I'm being really honest with myself, I always avoided them. I ran away from them, and I kind of just like, it's hard to say, but I would prefer to people

Well, I think that when you go so on, it shows that you are inconsiderate and don't care much about the impact of consequences of your actions. And I really feel like when you have been hurt in that way, then you will realize that it can hurt other people.

Yeah, And I think that's the moment when you realize, oh, I don't really want to make people feel a certain way, because look, if you've got on a really amazing first day, or in your eyes it was a really amazing first day and the other person isn't vibing it, you can put all of these hopes and expectations and dreams, like I could come up with a first date and think I've met my future husband, and if he doesn't feel

Yeah, just no, thanks for no thanks, yeah, thanks for no thanks. All right, And so what if you have been ghosted?

Then yeah, so if you've been ghosted, like we've all been there, we really like someone, you send them that message, You get nothing back.

Every minute starts to feel like an.

Hour, Your thoughts start becoming more and more obsessed with them. You keep looking at your phone every time you get a notifications, hoping, praying it's them, and you just you're waiting and praying for that serotonin hit, and that serotonin hit just never comes.

We've all been there.

It sucks, but I think it's important to really distract yourself, realize that your worth is still high, you're still high value, you deserve to be valued. And if they're not replying to you in a timely manner, or if they're playing games, or if they're ghosting you, then they're not worth your time because at the end of the day, we all want to be with someone who wants to be with us, like we don't want to be with someone who doesn't value us and doesn't appreciate us.

And the most important thing to remember is when you've been ghosted, it says more about them and nothing about the person you are.

Totally couldn't agree more.

You're still enough, You're still worthy, and there will be someone out there who will value you.

So just jump on that dating app or slide into those dms and put those feelers out.

Yeah, how do you deal with being ghosted in that?

Because when we spoke about it before, you looked a little salty, and that salty look has come back.

So how do I deal with being ghosted? Cry? No, it depends on the situation and how I felt about the girl. I'll just probably just you know, send a scathing message and just go on to the next No, I actually haven't I joking aside, I get pretty like upset. I know a girl ghosted me last year and you and me were having a laugh about it on your couch.

And as annoying as it is, like when people say this, there are plenty of fish in the seat, Like, there's so many amazing people out there today. If there's someone who's ghosting you, they're not as great as you think they are, And I think it's important to remind yourself of that.

Yeah, just don't sit there and stress about it. Loose sleep. There's heapes more people out there.

Oh that's easier than done there, I think. Yeah, don't chase the person ghosting you. I think resist the temptation to do things like troll them on the internet. Resist the temptation.

Don't put up first traps for them either, trying to reel them back in, Like, yeah, just forget about it. They're not worth your time. I'm saying that.

Yeah, man, you're like, I love giving advice to people when you don't actually take this advice yourself.

Matt is the biggest first trap I've ever met.

Talking from experience well from like because it doesn't work.

Sometimes it feels good to put up a thirst trap and to be like, ha, this is what you're missing out on.

This is true as well. Yeah, where is that thought as well? All right, and let's put yourself first, Like we always say, take some self care. This might mean get some sleep, spend more time with your close friends and family, make a conscious effort to go to healthy activities and do things that make you feel good.

Yeah.

I think distracting yourself as a big one. Every time.

I know that when I was ghosted, every time I would think about that person, which was frequently, I would just really, in a relaxed way, tell myself, Okay, Anna, I know you're thinking about that person again, but we're gonna move on, and I'm going to focus my attention and energy on this. And every time you move your attention on, it becomes easier and easier, and as bad as it is, the more time that goes past after being ghosted, the easier it becomes.

Time heals all wounds, doesn't it.

Yeah.

Okay, So we've touched on a couple of reasons why people ghost, But what are the main reasons are and there's a handful of main ones that we should get into. What are they, Well, you said.

It before, Matt, what was the reason that you ghost?

I met someone else? I met Jen?

Yeah, you meet someone else. So I think that's a big one. Like they've met someone else, they're more aligned, they're a better fit, and unfortunately you are no longer on that priority list. I think another one is ending a relationship takes energy, time and may require emotions that people just aren't willing to tap into.

Maybe you've been on the date, or you've been on a couple of dates and someone has offended you, given you the ick, or even creeped you out in a way, so you're just like, nah, this isn't for me.

Yeah.

I actually ghosted someone because they offended me. I went to school with this guy and he said to me, oh, you were too cool at school or something, and I was like, what do you mean? Like it was just bizarre. I just didn't understand why he said it. He was actually two years above me, and I just didn't respond to him. And then he messaged me saying have I done something wrong? And I just said, oh, you said

Yeah, I think he thought I was too cool, But I think I was shy.

Speaking about speaking about that. I ghosted a girl because she asked me. We were sitting there and she asked me to tell her my most embarrassing story. And I was like, oh, jeez, I begin I was. I was like, how long do we have? And I said, well, you

Okay, wow, I didn't know that.

Didn't you know that? Yeah, it just was a bit of an ick. I was just like, oh, that gave you the ear. I was like, oh, you're a bit young, Like who the fuck talks about school.

Well, mate, you're no one.

You're you're used to dating older women, so they're probably like so far removed from school that you haven't heard it.

But I mean, you're only at twenty five.

Twenty is like, well yeah, of course, and a twenty I was probably still talking about school as well. Yeah, but it just was just like, Okay, we're at different parts of our life now. Yeah, what I mean, like I don't even remember like who was in my class or anything like that, let alone an embarrassing moment that happened at school.

Yeah, speaking of giving you the creeps, I have a story about me having to actually go someone so they actually did something wrong to me, like they got caught sleeping with someone else. And then I obviously removed myself from the situation because I was like, I don't want any part in this, Like you're clearly sleeping with other people,

A day, and I think my withdrawal.

From the situation even although I was well with my rights to withdraw, almost made them like want me more. It's kind of like you want what you can't have type of situation. And yeah, I had to block because I was like, this is getting too for long, Like you're giving me the creeps.

Now, Well, he should definitely listen to this episode and hear us say that do not keep pursuing someone if they ghost you, because that's what happens. You could scare them away completely.

End up with a restraining order.

Yeah, that's that's worse. Yeah, all right, and I so we've spoken about like mild and moderate ghosting, but what happens if it's a more serious relationship and they ghost you after that?

Like I can't imagine being in an actual relationship with someone, or even being exclusive with someone and then being ghosted. It's so savage and just horrible. I just couldn't imagine that happening.

Do you mean like you're actually boyfriend and girlfriend and they ghost you.

Yeah, I've heard of that space.

That's just that's what it means that somebody would do that.

Well, yeah, I mean you bought a life thing that they might have died, Like, are you still alive?

Do I need to call the police.

Imagine you're living with them as well. That's sad if that's actually happened to.

Someone, and that has I've heard of plenty of stories where that's happened, and I just think that level of ghosting is almost like becoming a bit psychotic and not well.

Yeah, that persons savage. They have no respect for like human etiquette or the other person at all.

Yeah, it's just it's it's wild behavior.

And we are obviously totally against any sort of ghosting like that. That's just a whole different level of ghosting. It's just like awful.

There is no real advice to give someone on.

That because that's just Look, if it happens to you, I guess the only advice is just give yourself plenty of time to really pro assess and get over that. I can't imagine everyoneting to trust anyone again.

What was you if you came home and Michael was just ghosted you?

Oh my god, I'm so sad to think about.

What would you do if Jen just ghosted you never heard from her again after this?

I'd probably asked Nikki what she was up to the twin. Another good point would be to speak to someone who consider therapy because you need to. Yeah, that would really like you'd imagine how much in your mind you would be like, what have I done wrong? Where are they? What's going on? I definitely suggest talking to a professional on that one.

And I think in those really bad situations, it's important to try and take away something from the situation to learn. Obviously, in those situations, if you had a boyfriend and he ghosted you, it's absolutely not your fault at all. But yeah, just trying to always find the lesson in those really tough situations is a really good coping mechanism. Okay, mat So what can we text someone.

After being ghosted?

Like, do you even want to send that text? Is there anything that you want to say? Or do you just realize that no response is a response.

I'm going to start off by saying I don't suggest texting them.

Neither someone ghosts me, I'm like, I'm a ghost for life.

After that, I'm like, no matter if you ever want.

To talk to me again, whether in real life, in text message or via like a phone call, I will never be available to you. That's it done, capoof Yeah out later.

Never play hard to get I play forget it. So but if you must, because I know a lot of people want to and they're probably listening to this and they're like, no, but I want to send a message. I want to know what's wrong, what I did wrong. Here are some stuff that you can say to them.

Okay, so you can just say to them, Hey, disappointed things haven't worked out for us. I'd love to know what happened, good or bad.

Well, you must be feeling brave and that message.

I wouldn't look like sending that message, but I mean, if you really have to, like, if you really must. But the thing is is if you send that message, you could get double ghosted, and that.

That would happen.

That's more and that's the risk that you have to be willing to take with a ghoster because they just don't value your kindness or time.

Here's one if you would be this is the one I would send personally. If anyone knows my personality, they know I would send this. You turn it back onto them and say thank you for the time we spent together. But unfortunately I value the time we spent together, but it's not going to work with me. Thanks, but no thanks. That's so insulting that that's just someone that has ghosted you.

Why I send that you've already been ghosted. You just look like you're desperate.

You're just futty them.

Yeah, like I just think I just wouldn't bother.

That's my advice to anyone who's listening, Like, no matter how much you want to send that text message, if there is a lot that you have to get off your chest for closure, open up your note section, write it all down, every single thing that you want to say to them, and then just delete it because you've got it off your chest. I feel like sometimes writing things out gets that off your.

Cha fashion one as well. You write down on a notepad and then you burn the piece of paper. Yeah it's done. It's to be seen off again.

Or you could get a photo of them and burn it.

I've actually coming through.

I've actually done that.

With an ex boyfriend. I literally had a photo of both of us and I burnt it and it really like made me feel a lot better. Really, it was like a real like moment of liken you, this has died, this is literally burned, this relationship has burned, and now it's over.

There, you go, I've done the writing it on a piece of paper and burning it. Yeah, you're seeing what your feelings die.

It's therapeutic, it is.

It is very therapeutic, and sometimes.

Like doing these kind of ritualistic things do kind of give you that sense of closure. And the thing about ghosting, which we know, is that you don't get closure and you feel like the last memory you have with them is this really positive happy date or whatever is in your mind and then you're like, wait, what what happened? Okay, guys, So just to reiterate one last time instead of ghosting, because we don't condone ghosting, here are some things that

Easy. Simple.

Another one is I feel like we're on different pages and we're at different stages of our lives. Classic, it's not you, it's me.

It's not you, it's me.

It's just like a bit savage for me, like it's just been on one too many rom coms and I feel like it's not you, it's me.

As a bit offensive. I mean, it's better than ghosting, true, it's better than ghosting. And the final one. Unfortunately I don't see a future between us. Thanks for everything.

That's just straight up and that's good. I like that one, and.

Like just have these little sentences in your notes so that if you don't want to get really emotionally, like have those emotional chats with someone, you can literally just copy paste them through a move.

On with life. Sounds really really awful.

Yeah it does, but you know some people do that.

So okay, guys, it's time for that part of the show you've been waiting for.

It's called Where's Our Head At? And it's starting now.

Okay, So this is from one of our Where's Your Head Out? Listeners.

It reads, I went on an amazing date with a girl, such a good night, and we made plans for future dates, but she wasn't available for any dates I suggested. And now I'm left hanging thinking I had a different view of the night to what she had. Now I'm judging everything I said and did and feel really insecure going into another dating situation because I think I'll be questioning everything.

Help all right, brother, I'm going to tell you straight up, she's not interested in you.

She's not interested.

Yeah, I wouldn't take it personally. Maybe you did say something. Maybe maybe you did. Look, you'll never know. I suggest, like we said earlier, not reaching out to her.

Look, I can kind of understand where this girl's coming from. Obviously.

Sometimes you go on a date, you meet a person, they're actually a nice person, so you do have a good date.

Like I'm always going to.

A date with the mentality like, let's make the most of this, whether I like you or not. I'm gonna have a fun date. I'm gonna have some wines, let's get a bit lit.

Yeah.

But at the end of the day, maybe she just didn't want to break it to you that she wasn't as interested as maybe you were.

It has nothing to do with you. It just wasn't meant to be.

So he was trying to organize the next date while they were still together on that date.

Yeah, look, she's probably not going to say to you, I'm not interested. She's probably just going to agree, right.

Yeah, I don't suggest doing that.

I've had someone do that, and I've agreed to a date that I was absolutely never even looking like going on. Yeah, I just it's nothing personal. Please don't take it personally in future.

Mate, Probably just don't to ask for dates on a first date. For the second date, maybe leave it a bit played a bit cooler than that. No matter how terrific you think that date is going, just try to act a little bit cooler and rain it in a little bit.

Okay, we have another listener who's written in and they say.

I was seeing a guy for a couple of dates. We had sex on the third date. We are chatting straight after, but the messages now have slowed down and fizzled out. Last week, I double messaged him and I have not heard back. Can I send a third to explain my disappointment in his behavior?

Never double message.

Said that before? Like, if you're going to send another message, you have to be ready to realize that they might not message back.

Yeah, Like, it sounds like he's kind of lost a little bit of interest. As you said that, he could have met someone else.

Maybe they know this sounds bad, but maybe he got the sex on the third day and he realized this isn't really what he wants to spend the foreseeable future with.

So you think the guys literally will go on dates and once they get sex, they'll fuck off, that's the thing.

Yeah, that's very common.

This is why I hate man. Honestly, fuck men are growth Well.

This guy obviously sounds like he's loved to thrill of the chase and he's got it.

I just think the moment that someone doesn't text you back, it speaks volumes.

And if you're double texting, I don't know. I just don't. I just don't like a double text.

She should never send a third text straight.

Up if she wants to express her disappointment after they've had sex. I mean that's fair, but it's not gonna achieve the outcome that you want. And I think that's the key point there.

Yeah, so he seems like a bit of a fuck boy, So I don't think he's going to send you the message that you want to hear back, But do it and let us know how it goes.

If it was me, i'd just bow out with my dignity intact and say fuck you.

You're never going to hear from me again either.

Yeah.

Okay, guys, that's all we have time for. We hope you've enjoyed this episode. Make sure that you are staying on top of our socials. That's where's your head? App pod on Instagram and TikTok and make sure to give us a five start review. Guys, we are a small podcast and we really appreciate your reviews. Until next time, Thank you, Siyah